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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:11,960 (ANIMAL SCREECHES) 2 00:00:12,80 --> 00:00:14,240 Please, Hilary! 3 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:15,600 Where are we going? 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,840 There's going to be a delivery. 5 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,200 A special delivery? 6 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,560 Now, you know the Red Cross arrive 7 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,600 in a few hours, 8 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,560 so | want to be in and out...sharpish. 9 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,440 (ANIMAL SCREECHES) 10 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,760 (MAURICE WHIMPERS) 11 00:00:49,00 --> 00:00:52,360 (HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR) 12 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:25,960 (CAT MEOWS) 13 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,440 BARBARA: So, you've got a big do on, have you? 14 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,160 It's our annual conference, Barbara. 15 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,680 Annual piss-up! 16 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,120 All the top brass from head office 17 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,160 come down to the countryside 18 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,240 for a bit of male bonding, you know? 19 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:01,840 Maybe | should come with you, then. 20 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,280 Mind you, who'd want to bond wi' me? 21 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,640 I'm neither nowt nor summat. 22 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,720 Y'all right, Barbara? You sound a bit down. 23 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,400 Well, to tell you the truth, I'm on. 24 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,920 On? What do you mean, "on"? 25 00:02:13,40 --> 00:02:14,480 Time of the month, you know. 26 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,760 | woke up this morning, 27 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,520 and me bed was like a butcher's slab. 28 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,280 Aw, disgusting! 29 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,480 But, biologically speaking, how can you...? 30 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,680 God knows. 31 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,280 Maybe it's psychosomatic. 32 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,400 All | know is, I'm right back to where | started. 33 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,160 What? A big fat hairy man in a dress? 34 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,440 Right! I've had enough of this! 35 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:31,520 (BRAKES SCREECH) 36 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,120 Get out! 37 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,480 You can bloody walk to your conference! 38 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,40 Chauvinist pig! 39 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,360 - Well done, Geoff. - Not my fault! 40 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,120 As a woman, | could have you 41 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,280 under the Sex Discrimination Act! 42 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,600 (TYRES SCREECH) 43 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:47,880 As a woman, we could have you 44 00:02:48,00 --> 00:02:49,960 under the Trades Descriptions Act! 45 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,400 Um, all right, wno would win 46 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,920 out of Alien and Species? 47 00:03:01,40 --> 00:03:03,880 - Uh... Aliens 1? - Yeah. 48 00:03:05,40 --> 00:03:07,400 - Species. - Incorrect! 49 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,680 Alien could bleed acid onto Species 50 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,720 when Species is anaked woman. 51 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,480 That would be a video worth watching. 52 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,40 Yeah. 53 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,360 (REENIE HUMS A TUNE) 54 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,480 How are we doing for bags down here, dear? 55 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,280 Just a minute, dear, I'm in the book. 56 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,600 What's that, dear? You're having a look? 57 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,840 No, dear, I'm in the book. 58 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,800 - No need to be rude, dear. - I'm not being rude, dear. 59 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,520 - You are rude, dear. - I'm not. 60 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:29,880 (DOOR CLOSES) 61 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,480 - Excuse me. - Just a minute, dear. 62 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,440 Is it two Ts in "cassette", dear? 63 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,680 What's that, dear? Two teas? 64 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,00 - Yes. - Right! 65 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,40 "Cassette." 66 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,560 Right, what can | do for you, dear? 67 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:40,800 | brought you some stuff. 68 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,400 Ooh, lovely! Is it good stuff, is it? 69 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,640 Yes, a lot of it's very new, mainly baby stuff. 70 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,720 | just won't need it any more. 71 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,320 - What's that? - It's a teddy. 72 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,240 It's a teddy, is it? 73 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,400 Yes, it's brand-new. 74 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,920 | could have taken it back, but... 75 00:03:54,40 --> 00:03:55,760 Has it got a special mark on it? 76 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,400 It needs a special mark, else we can't take it. 77 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,600 - | don't Know. - Nah, there's no special mark. 78 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,800 | can't take it without a special mark! 79 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,840 - Special mark? - Here we are, dear. 80 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,280 Two teas! | didn't make you one, dear! 81 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,480 - That's OK. - What's that? 82 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,960 - It's a teddy. - It's a teddy, is it? 83 00:04:10,80 --> 00:04:11,360 Has it got a special mark on it? 84 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,520 No, I'm just explaining to the lady. 85 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:14,960 We can't take this without a special mark. 86 00:04:15,80 --> 00:04:16,760 - Why not? - Well, it's not safe, dear! 87 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,400 All the safe ones have got a special mark. 88 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,560 It could have glass in it, this. 89 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:20,840 Or sand, dear. 90 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,800 Give this to a kiddie, dear, it could die! 91 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,920 It's a deathtrap! 92 00:04:24,40 --> 00:04:25,400 It wouldn't be right if we took it. 93 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,120 | think the Spastics will have it, though, dear. 94 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:30,920 Yeah, they'll take anything. Or Cancer. 95 00:04:31,40 --> 00:04:32,720 Try Cancer. That's only a few doors down. 96 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,40 Right. 97 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,80 Ooh, we'll keep the bag if we may, though, dear. 98 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,40 - It's a good bag, is that. - What is it? Plastic, is it? 99 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,80 | think it is. 100 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,320 Has it got a special mark on it? 101 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,440 Special mark? 102 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,680 Oh, it needs a special mark, or we can't take it. 103 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,00 You could kill a kiddie with this! 104 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,240 What is it? A deathtrap, is it? 105 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,440 It hasn't got a special mark. 106 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,320 We can't take it, dear. It's not safe! 107 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,680 Well, give it to the Spastics, then! 108 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,640 Ooh! 109 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,120 Well, she's no need to be so rude, has she, dear? 110 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,560 No, dear. Two teas? 111 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,00 - Yeah, I'll get ‘em. - Mm. 112 00:05:07,80 --> 00:05:10,160 (CHILDREN SHRIEK AND SPLASH) 113 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,640 Right, we've got Ooze FM this afternoon, 114 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,720 and then a press conference at the town hall. 115 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,200 - Righto. - And this is Look North now, 116 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,400 which is going out live, so please... 117 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,680 | know what you're going to say. 118 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,00 You're going to tell me | can't swear. 119 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,560 You do have a bit of a reputation. 120 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,40 | won't turn the air blue, Murray, don't worry. 121 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,640 - Now, where do | stand? - Just here. Thank you. 122 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,120 Now, you do know we're going out live? 123 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,240 Don't worry. Don't worry. 124 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,200 Thank you, Harry. 125 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,280 I'm joined now by the Mayor of Royston Vasey, 126 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,360 Larry Vaughan. 127 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,400 Mayor Vaughan, 128 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:39,680 a lot of activity in the town today. 129 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,00 - What's going on? - Yes, aS you can see, 130 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,600 it's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, 131 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,80 and it's like a routine vaccination programme, 132 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,600 uh, sort of having a flu jab. 133 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,440 Right, and what about the nosebleeds? 134 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,480 CROWD: What about the nosebleeds? 135 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,00 Uh, I'm sure it's perfectly innocent. 136 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,120 There's no need to panic. 137 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,440 Mayor Vaughan, thank you. 138 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,800 It's a fucking pleasure. 139 00:06:03,40 --> 00:06:04,600 (CHILDREN YELL) 140 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,760 (MAN GRUNTS LOUDLY) 141 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,160 (MOANS AND GRUNTS) 142 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,200 Oh, hello, love. Is your mum in? 143 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,80 IRIS: Ron, I'm nearly there! Use me, use me! 144 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,360 Would you tell her 145 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,720 Mrs Levinson's here to see her, please? 146 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,920 Yeah. 147 00:06:25,80 --> 00:06:26,360 Mum! 148 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,680 Hello, Mrs Levinson. 149 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,880 | got your place all spick and span over t'weekend. 150 00:06:37,00 --> 00:06:38,600 | weren't expecting you back till this afternoon. 151 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,160 Obviously. 152 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,360 We were just doing some...DIY. 153 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,200 Ron was filling a crack in the bedroom. 154 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,240 So | heard. 155 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,400 My plane came in early. 156 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,120 | thought I'd pop round for my keys. 157 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,160 Right, well, come in. I'll put a brew on. 158 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:55,360 (CHILDREN SQUABBLE NOISILY) 159 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,720 Behave! 160 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,760 - Leave me alone! - | got you back! 161 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,160 Tanya, get down! 162 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,600 She's just had another litter. 163 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,720 What, you or the dog? 164 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,160 - What's that? - Nothing! 165 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:10,400 (DOGS BARK AND CHILDREN YELL) 166 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:11,760 So... 167 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,120 ..1S your Ricky out on parole yet? 168 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520 Terrible business, that, 169 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,320 dropping cement blocks off the flyover. 170 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,120 It were never proved! 171 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,200 Oh, no, I'm sure your Ricky's blameless. 172 00:07:25,40 --> 00:07:26,00 Eddie and | can't wait 173 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,720 to attend our Matthew's graduation. 174 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,840 He's done ever so well. A first. 175 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,760 I'm so proud. 176 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,960 Have you ever considered college for your ten? 177 00:07:36,80 --> 00:07:37,00 Well, no. 178 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,40 If I'd not had that stillbirth, 179 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,00 we'd have had enough for a football team, so... 180 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,720 | wonder if you'd come round this afternoon 181 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,00 and do a couple of hours. 182 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,440 | want the place as Clean as possible, 183 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,40 what with this health scare. 184 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,680 Oh, yeah, | Know what you mean. 185 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,840 | can see how hard it must be with so many, 186 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,00 and the mischief they get up to. 187 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,160 Not just Ricky. 188 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,600 There was Damien 189 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:02,320 and that toddler in the quarry pond. Still... 190 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,80 ... you've got this place nice. 191 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,640 Yes, Mrs Levinson. 192 00:08:36,40 --> 00:08:38,400 Hello, hello, what's going on? What's all this shouting? 193 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,120 We'll have no trouble here! 194 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,920 I'm writing a card for the shop window. 195 00:08:43,40 --> 00:08:46,120 "Wanted. No-tail - brackets - a woman, 196 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,640 "to marry our son, David, 197 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,640 "in the attic." 198 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:51,760 Show me. 199 00:08:53,00 --> 00:08:55,880 Er, change that to "local no-tail". 200 00:08:56,00 --> 00:08:58,00 (CLATTERING AND ROARING UPSTAIRS) 201 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,640 All right, David! 202 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,40 Dada's coming! (SIGHS) 203 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,360 Hello there. 204 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,440 Yes? Can | help you at all? 205 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,720 Do you know if there's a garage round here? 206 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,520 | was just driving by and | ran out of petrol. 207 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,280 Pet-ral? 208 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,280 A litre should get me into town. 209 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,640 Oh! 210 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,400 This is a local shop for local people! 211 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,960 There's nothing for you here. 212 00:09:26,80 --> 00:09:27,480 It is an emergency. 213 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,520 I'm delivering medical supplies. 214 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,680 There's no chance you could fill it up for me, is there? 215 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,960 Oh, all right, then! 216 00:09:36,80 --> 00:09:38,00 But I've only just gone this morning. 217 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,960 | think I'll try to find a garage. If... 218 00:09:41,80 --> 00:09:43,480 (SHRIEKS) Edward! Edward! 219 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,800 Hello, what's going on? What's all this shouting? 220 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,240 We'll have no trouble here! 221 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,280 He's trying to grab my pet-ral! 222 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,320 No, I'm... 223 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,800 He spoke of walking, but not on legs, 224 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,560 of travelling, Edward, but not on legs. 225 00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,600 Well, I've got a car, if that's what she means. 226 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:58,640 Devil! 227 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,320 Propelled across the land 228 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,360 in a Carriage of no horse drawn, 229 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,480 belching Satan's black wind into our clean and local air! 230 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,360 This is a decent town and a local shop! 231 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,720 There's nothing for you here! 232 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,320 Fine. I'll be off. 233 00:10:15,00 --> 00:10:17,120 - (DOOR CLOSES) - Edward? 234 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,120 Don't worry, Tubbs. 235 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,120 He won't get far! 236 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,440 - Hello, Justin. How are you? - Yeah, all right. 237 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,760 Alles klar! 238 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,600 Now, I've just been looking at my pink pomphlet, 239 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,200 and | see that this afternoon, 240 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,120 we're going to be seeing some caves 241 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,840 in the lovely town of Royston Vasey, 242 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,400 which will be a real good treat - mmm! 243 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,920 But to make love with the boys this morning, 244 00:10:46,40 --> 00:10:48,440 | thought we could play foosball! 245 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,120 Great. England versus Germany. 246 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,160 Jal 247 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,280 You could be the capital of Royston Vasey 248 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,440 and | could be the queen of Duisburg! 249 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,880 We'll have to toss for sides, then. 250 00:10:57,00 --> 00:10:57,920 Oh? 251 00:10:58,40 --> 00:11:00,840 - Do you want heads or tails? - I'm easy, Justin. 252 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,560 | Know which side I'm playing on. 253 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,960 OK, do we have a Pam Doove next, 254 00:11:09,80 --> 00:11:10,880 or a Pamela Doove? 255 00:11:11,00 --> 00:11:14,200 - |'m Pam Doove. - Hello, there. How are you? 256 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,240 Bit nervous. 257 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,840 Oh, don't worry about that, Pamela. 258 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,160 Is it Pam or Pamela? 259 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,840 - Pam, Pamela - whatever. - OK. 260 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,920 We'll stick with Pamela for now, shall we? 261 00:11:22,40 --> 00:11:23,440 Right, well, my name's Jed Hunter. 262 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:24,920 I'm going to be directing this commercial. 263 00:11:25,40 --> 00:11:26,680 | don't know how much your agent's told you already. 264 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:27,760 Not very much, actually. 265 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,400 OK. Don't worry about that. 266 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,600 Um, basically, we're scouring the country 267 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,560 looking for a fresh face for Greenwood's Orange Juice. 268 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,960 We're in a newsagent's. 269 00:11:36,80 --> 00:11:39,960 It's a beautiful day outside, and a young girl - Pamela - 270 00:11:40,80 --> 00:11:41,40 walks into the shop, 271 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,920 looks around a little bit and says, 272 00:11:43,40 --> 00:11:45,920 "Excuse me. Has anyone got a bottle of orange juice?" 273 00:11:46,40 --> 00:11:48,560 And that's it. It's part of a montage thing. 274 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,360 Would you want movements within it? 275 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,680 No, no, no. She comes into the shop, obviously. 276 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,520 She looks around a bit and says, 277 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,80 "Excuse me. Has anyone got a bottle of orange juice?" 278 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,160 And that's it. 279 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,640 So if you wanted to give us that in your own time, 280 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,480 then that'd be cool. 281 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,320 Er, do you think | could go out and come back in again? 282 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,280 Yeah, whatever's good for you, Pamela. 283 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,800 Cool, cool, cool. 284 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:23,00 Eksood beef! Have any body got any bokkle aran joof?! 285 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,920 OK, um... 286 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,320 | don't know what happened there, Pamela, 287 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,720 but | lost the line. 288 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,800 - Really? - Yeah. 289 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,200 | think perhaps a bit more diction, 290 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,440 cos some of the words were, uh... 291 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,480 So the actual line is, 292 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,760 "Excuse me. Has anyone got a bottle of orange juice?" 293 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:43,880 I'll go out and I'll come back again. 294 00:12:44,00 --> 00:12:45,440 Yeah, cool. Cool. 295 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,840 Eksood beef! Have any body got any bokkle aran joof?! 296 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,840 OK... 297 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,840 Again, I'm not getting a sense of the line as written. 298 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,120 She's 24, she's walking into a newsagent's and saying, 299 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,840 "Excuse me. Has anyone got a bottle of orange juice?" 300 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,200 Just try and lighten her up a bit. 301 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,680 - Oh, right. - Yeah. 302 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,520 Yeah. 303 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,520 Eksood beef! Have any body got any bokkle aran joof?! 304 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,400 That too happy? 305 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,880 Do you get much work as an actress, Pamela? 306 00:13:35,00 --> 00:13:36,640 - No. - No. 307 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,440 (CROAKING) 308 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,40 (GASPS) Uncle Harvey? 309 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,760 Auntie Val? 310 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,400 Hello, Benjamin! 311 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,640 Oh, God! Sorry! 312 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,520 Ah, Benjamin! What's the matter? 313 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,560 (CROAKING) 314 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,880 Well...you're naked. 315 00:14:01,00 --> 00:14:04,40 It's nothing to be ashamed of, Benjamin. 316 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:08,880 In this house, the first Monday of every month is Nude Day. 317 00:14:09,00 --> 00:14:10,120 Oh? 318 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,680 Yes, a day when we cast aside 319 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,400 the paraphernalia of the early 21st century 320 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,520 and return to a simpler way of life, 321 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,360 closer to nature's intentions. 322 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,480 Already this morning, we've been to the supermarket, 323 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,400 the post office and the newsagent. 324 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,40 What, you've been wandering around like that? 325 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,680 Well, we can't get the bus. 326 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,400 There's nowhere to put the change! 327 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,560 Oh. Well, | think I'll go out and get some fresh air. 328 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,520 No, no, no, no, no. 329 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,200 As | say, today is Nude Day. 330 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,800 But | don't understand. 331 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,160 Strip. 332 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,360 I'm sorry? 333 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,320 Take off your clothes. 334 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,720 We can't make any exceptions, Benjamin. 335 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,560 Well, surely you remember the rhyme? 336 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,320 "On the first of the month we see clearly 337 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,400 "To be clothed all the time costs us dearly." 338 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,240 "So constriction away! Be happy and gay." 339 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:08,40 "Let your bum, balls and ninny swing freely!" 340 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,600 No, | d-don't remember that one. 341 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,680 Aww, poor boy. He's forgotten everything! 342 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,440 Come along, Benjamin. 343 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,200 - Well...if you're sure. - Yes! 344 00:15:20,40 --> 00:15:22,600 This is how we always do it. 345 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,480 - (DOORBELL) - Ah! 346 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,520 Get that for me, would you, Benjamin, please? 347 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,560 Um... 348 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,360 Your uncle and | have some things to attend to. 349 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,800 Just checking I've got enough vaccine. 350 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,840 | thought I'd give you your jabs while I'm here. 351 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,40 Oh. 352 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,760 Benjamin! What on earth are you doing? 353 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,160 What is the meaning of this? 354 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,560 Butt-naked in the lobby of this house? 355 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,520 Doubtless you've been in the bathroom, 356 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,280 spraying your belly with sticky white love piss. 357 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,920 No! You said | was... 358 00:16:14,40 --> 00:16:15,520 Take the boy upstairs, Val! 359 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,720 Oh! Oh! 360 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,360 (SMACK!) 361 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,760 | think you're right, Mr Denton. 362 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,120 The boy's obviously in a state of some confusion. 363 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:29,520 Yes. Perhaps a strong sedative of some kind... 364 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,680 - Mmm. - ...Say, chloramazapine, 20mg? 365 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,640 Mm. Extraordinary behaviour. 366 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,480 | mean, if it were your Nude Day, 367 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:38,960 | could understand. 368 00:16:39,80 --> 00:16:42,360 Exactly. But that doesn't fall till the 15th. 369 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,520 Yeah, just tell him... Hello? 370 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,00 Yeah, just tell him the Royston Vasey contingent... 371 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,440 No, Royston Vasey! 372 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,680 Oh, we're gonna be so late now! 373 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,40 We'll miss the Plastics Of The Millennium seminar. 374 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,160 | know. And the cakes at the start. 375 00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,880 Are you sure you know where we're going, Geoff? 376 00:17:00,00 --> 00:17:02,120 Oh, do bears shit in the woods? 377 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,640 No, but / might have to, if we don't get there soon. 378 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,800 Use a dock leaf. That's what we used to do in TAs. 379 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,680 - Have you got through, Mike? - Nah, the battery's dead. 380 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,680 Oh, where the hell are we?! 381 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,80 - | say we go back. - And how's that gonna look? 382 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,480 Everyone else is gonna be there! 383 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,520 Sh, sh, sh! 384 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,680 - What? - Sh! 385 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,880 (FARTS) One-nil! 386 00:17:22,00 --> 00:17:23,600 Geoff, this is serious. 387 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,80 If we don't get to this conference... 388 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,240 Mike, we'll get there! | Know exactly where we are. 389 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:29,720 | was in the TAs. 390 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,440 That is north, that is magnetic north, 391 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,320 and just over this brow here is our hotel. 392 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,840 Just across that river. 393 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,400 Oh, that's it! I'm going back! 394 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,00 We're in the middle of nowhere! 395 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,320 Well, what are we gonna do? Swim?! 396 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,920 Girls, girls, girls! 397 00:17:48,40 --> 00:17:50,40 You're forgetting | was in the TAs. 398 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,120 Oh, so what?! 399 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,880 | can get us across this river in ten minutes flat. 400 00:17:54,00 --> 00:17:55,360 We used to do it In Special Ops, 401 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,560 week in, week out. 402 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,00 And what about our suits? 403 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,760 You won't get a splash on you, Brian. Trust me. 404 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,360 It'll be fine. 405 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,360 Help me! 406 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,00 Help! Help me, Mike, help me! 407 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,560 (SQUEALS) 408 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,840 Argh! 409 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,760 (COUGHS) 410 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,600 Well, we're across. 411 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,960 Oh, there you are, Mrs Levinson. 412 00:18:32,80 --> 00:18:34,480 Those sodding Germans woke me up, Iris. 413 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:38,240 | had to have a lie-down. Marks & Spencer's wiped me out. 414 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,360 It's not what it used to be. 415 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,160 People use it like a Supermarket now! 416 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,800 - Really? - Mind you, it's dear. 417 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,320 But isn't everything these days? 418 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,80 It must be hard for you, love. 419 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,960 | don't suppose you get much money 420 00:18:50,80 --> 00:18:53,160 from Ron flogging roses in the middle of the A54. 421 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,960 - We get by. - Oh, | know. 422 00:18:55,80 --> 00:18:57,600 But it's a bare kind of existence, isn't it? 423 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,880 And then you have to come here and see how 424 00:19:00,00 --> 00:19:01,880 Eddie and | enjoy life! Well... 425 00:19:02,00 --> 00:19:03,800 It must make you feel like a little Rwandan 426 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,80 let loose in Harrods’ food hall. 427 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,120 - (CHUCKLES) - You're right, Mrs Levinson. 428 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,480 Sometimes | think my little buggers 429 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,00 will eat me out of house and home. 430 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,200 But at least they're not faddy. 431 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,760 Must have been hell, that business with your Nicola. 432 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,40 (CHILDREN'S VOICES OUTSIDE) 433 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,320 (THUD!) 434 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,360 Honestly, 435 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,960 they'll have a window through if they're not careful! 436 00:19:20,80 --> 00:19:22,600 Special plate, separate cutlery, 437 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,120 all that fuss wi' the rubber gloves. 438 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,720 I'm going to have a word with their teacher! 439 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,440 Wouldn't eat bread, wouldn't drink milk, 440 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,80 wouldn't stay in the same room as a potato! 441 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,120 lris! 442 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,320 Mind you, when she did eat, she couldn't keep it in. 443 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,600 We never knew which end 444 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,280 it was gonna come out of sometimes! 445 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,880 Hee-hee-hee! 446 00:19:37,00 --> 00:19:37,960 Do you remember when 447 00:19:38,80 --> 00:19:39,400 there was that smell coming from her bedroom? 448 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,00 We lifted the ceiling tiles, 449 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,240 and found all them Morrisons bags full of sick. 450 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:44,600 Please! 451 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,600 Now she's in the psychiatric ward, 452 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,280 she has to eat what she's given! 453 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,360 Since it comes through a tube. 454 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,880 Well, I'm going outside to have strong words 455 00:19:56,00 --> 00:19:57,240 before there's an accident! 456 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,880 Honestly, Iris, it's getting as bad as your estate. 457 00:20:00,00 --> 00:20:02,80 | know, Mrs Levinson. 458 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,840 Must make you want to throw up. 459 00:20:08,80 --> 00:20:10,400 | couldn't possibly, Mrs de Courcey. 460 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,920 Oh, but we insist! 461 00:20:12,40 --> 00:20:16,00 A present for Uncle Vetty from Bentley! 462 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,720 (WHISPERS) For all your kindnesses! 463 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,160 I'm ever so worried about him, Mr Chinnery. 464 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,880 He's normally such a sprightly little fellow, 465 00:20:24,00 --> 00:20:26,680 aren't you, my darling, aren't you? 466 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,240 Hello. Hello, Bentley. 467 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,720 - Hmm... - (BENTLEY FARTS) 468 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,160 Oh, please be gentle with him! 469 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,840 | think perhaps we haven't been firm enough 470 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,880 with Bentley, have we? 471 00:20:37,00 --> 00:20:39,400 What did he have for breakfast this morning? 472 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,880 Um...Winalot. 473 00:20:42,00 --> 00:20:42,960 And what else? 474 00:20:43,80 --> 00:20:47,80 A little poached salmon. Um...foie gras. 475 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,400 Sliced truffle. 476 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,760 (BENTLEY FARTS) 477 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,360 Now, remember what we talked about, Mrs de Courcey. 478 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,200 Bentley's a dog. He's not a person. 479 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,00 - Oh, but I only... - Look at his little belly. 480 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,760 Distended with methane 481 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,840 from all that rich rubbish you've been feeding him. 482 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,40 Oh, but he's so delicate! 483 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,920 He's not made of china. 484 00:21:08,40 --> 00:21:12,560 | fear a serious bowel disorder has been precipitated. 485 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,680 So I'm going to have to perform... 486 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,00 - ...a rectal examination. - On! 487 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:23,280 Oh, Bentley! Oh, you brave little soldier! 488 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,640 There. There we go. 489 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,800 - There we go, Bentley. - Poor little Bentley! 490 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,920 | think you'll find he's a little more robust 491 00:21:35,40 --> 00:21:36,200 than you give him credit for. 492 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,200 (SQUELCHING) 493 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,560 (LOUD, RASPING FART) 494 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,560 (WHIMPERS AND FARTS) 495 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,160 Oh, dear. 496 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,560 That's it, Tubbs. Fill her up. A little more. 497 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,40 All right, stop. Get in! 498 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,360 | don't know why we never thought of this before. 499 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,600 If the no-tails won't come to us, 500 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,520 we must go to them! 501 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,00 We'll have a bride for David in no time. 502 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,360 Oh, Edward, how do | make it walk?! 503 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,400 Now, patience, Tubbs, patience. 504 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,360 We must read the instructions thoroughly. 505 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,640 (ENGINE REVS) 506 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,800 We don't want anyone getting hurt. 507 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,640 (GRUNTS AND GROANS) 508 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,600 ALLY: All right, who would win out of Gandhi 509 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,920 and Sister Act II: Back In The Habit? 510 00:22:59,40 --> 00:23:00,600 HENRY: Um... 511 00:23:03,40 --> 00:23:04,640 It's not so bad, love. 512 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:08,440 The lease is only for a year. 513 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,920 We've got our privacy. That's the main thing. 514 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,200 - (SCREAMS) - Oh, good! 515 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,520 You are at home! 516 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,760 I'm sure you don't mind a visit from your landlord, eh? 517 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,360 What are you doing, mister?! 518 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,920 Call me Pop, Gary! (CHUCKLES) 519 00:23:25,40 --> 00:23:27,240 And you, Lynne, how are you, huh? 520 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,960 - OK. - Yeah, yeah. 521 00:23:30,80 --> 00:23:34,480 We's gonna be good friends, me and you, Lynne. 522 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,720 - (GASPS) - Ooh! Good friends! 523 00:23:39,40 --> 00:23:43,40 But now, my friends, | bring gifts for you! 524 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,480 This is a custom from the old country, 525 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,880 whenever you move to a new home. 526 00:23:49,00 --> 00:23:50,600 A bull's heart - 527 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,440 that you will always have strength. 528 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,40 (YELPS) 529 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,80 And manure - 530 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,880 that you will always be fertile. 531 00:24:00,00 --> 00:24:03,680 This last, Gary, this is for you. 532 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,480 - (SLAP!) - Yeah. 533 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,600 But now, my friends, | have bad news. 534 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,00 What is it? 535 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:15,80 Is my lawyers! They are vampire! 536 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,280 They bleed me dry! 537 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,480 | say to them, 538 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,440 "| have a property for a fine young couple! 539 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,560 "They are not tenants to me! 540 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,400 "They are like my children. 541 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,520 "| want to give them a good start in life." 542 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,840 But the lawyers, they say no. 543 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,160 Is business. 544 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,640 They want to put the rent up by an hundred quid. 545 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,160 - (SIGHS) No. - No! 546 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:41,560 But don't worry, Gary. Pop stand up to them. 547 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,720 We do a deal. 548 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,560 So now it's only £90 more. 549 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,360 Huh, thanks. 550 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:52,360 But, hey! What am | thinking about?! 551 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,840 This is your first week In your new home! 552 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,480 There is no place for Pop here. | go. 553 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,480 | come back for the money in the morning. 554 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,480 Oh, don't worry, | have my own key! 555 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,440 - (SQUEALS) - Oh! 556 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,640 You're a lucky man, Gary. 557 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,80 (GRUNTS) 558 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,40 A lucky, lucky man. 559 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,520 You look nervous, Samuel. 560 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,720 Well, of course I'm nervous! 561 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:35,800 It's this public health thing. 562 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,520 | mean, they're bound to be sniffing round, aren't they? 563 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,800 What if they find something?! What if... 564 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,560 They'll find nothing! Trust me. 565 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,320 | dealt with Maurice. 566 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,00 | can deal with this. 567 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:49,160 You...dealt with Maurice? 568 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,520 | don't think we'll have any more trouble 569 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,840 from our resident magistrate. 570 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,520 Yes, but can you be sure?! 571 00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,360 Fear is the best insurance that money can buy. 572 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,880 EUNICE: | notice Pat has got a nosebleed, 573 00:26:04,00 --> 00:26:05,640 and Denise from the Threshers. 574 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,560 And even Trevor who fetches my coleslaw from Otley. 575 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,00 And you know Jan that works with me in the sandwich shop? 576 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,640 Well, she says they might be having 577 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,00 compulsory health inspections. 578 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,960 Do you want to carve, love? 579 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,240 (SNIFFS) 580 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:28,960 Ah! (MURMURS APPROVINGLY) 581 00:26:29,80 --> 00:26:30,400 Heh-heh! 582 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,960 (CHUCKLES) 583 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,320 Ah! 584 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,120 (GRUNTS) 585 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,120 (ZIP!) 586 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,720 (GRUNTS) 587 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,80 Yeah... 588 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,880 All right, Brian? 589 00:27:30,00 --> 00:27:31,760 I've found a good splint! 590 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,600 - (RIP!) - I'm gonna tie it to your leg. 591 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,880 Please don't, Geoff. 592 00:27:37,00 --> 00:27:38,400 Argh! Argh! 593 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,280 All right, all right! 594 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,680 Here, | brought you some dock leaves, 595 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,40 in case you want that bab. 596 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,320 Where's Mike? He said he'd only be an hour! 597 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,00 Probably lost. 598 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,200 He can't read the land like | can. 599 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,960 | bet they don't find us for days! 600 00:27:52,80 --> 00:27:53,00 Oh, Christ! 601 00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:54,800 It's all right, Brian. I'll look after you. 602 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,480 Here, | brought you some food. 603 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,440 - What is it? - Well, just eat 'em. 604 00:27:58,560 --> 00:27:59,640 They're good for you! 605 00:28:01,40 --> 00:28:02,120 Are you not having any? 606 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,520 No, I've got this. 607 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:07,640 | found it in me pocket. 608 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,880 | wish I'd stayed in the TAs. | was good at that! 609 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,800 | wanted to join the Army. They said | was too fat. 610 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,80 This job I'm doing now... 611 00:28:25,40 --> 00:28:27,440 ...l'm no good at it. Mike hates me. 612 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,880 - That's not true, Geoff. - It is! 613 00:28:30,00 --> 00:28:32,720 And | bet | get blamed for all this as well! 614 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,760 Yeah, well, I'll show 'em. 615 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,400 If | can get us back to that hotel... 616 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:40,920 ...In front of that board... 617 00:28:42,80 --> 00:28:44,840 .. hopefully with you still alive... 618 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,40 ... maybe I'll have done something. 619 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,400 One thing to show 'em what I'm capable of. 620 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,800 We know what you're capable of. 621 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,920 - Sh! - Oh, not again, Geoff. 622 00:28:56,40 --> 00:28:58,320 (TWIGS CRACK) 623 00:28:58,440 --> 00:28:59,920 (WHISPERS) What was that? 624 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,00 It could be the enemy. 625 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,520 What enemy? 626 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,760 (GEOFF HOWLS) 627 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,960 (BOTH SCREAM) 628 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:20,720 Who is it? 629 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,400 It's Mike. 41420

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