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1
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:11,960
(ANIMAL SCREECHES)
2
00:00:12,80 --> 00:00:14,240
Please, Hilary!
3
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:15,600
Where are we going?
4
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,840
There's going to be a delivery.
5
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,200
A special delivery?
6
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,560
Now, you know
the Red Cross arrive
7
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,600
in a few hours,
8
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,560
so | want to be
in and out...sharpish.
9
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,440
(ANIMAL SCREECHES)
10
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,760
(MAURICE WHIMPERS)
11
00:00:49,00 --> 00:00:52,360
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR)
12
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:25,960
(CAT MEOWS)
13
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,440
BARBARA: So, you've got
a big do on, have you?
14
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,160
It's our annual conference,
Barbara.
15
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,680
Annual piss-up!
16
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,120
All the top brass
from head office
17
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,160
come down to the countryside
18
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,240
for a bit of male bonding,
you know?
19
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:01,840
Maybe | should
come with you, then.
20
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,280
Mind you,
who'd want to bond wi' me?
21
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,640
I'm neither nowt nor summat.
22
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,720
Y'all right, Barbara?
You sound a bit down.
23
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,400
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm on.
24
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,920
On? What do you mean, "on"?
25
00:02:13,40 --> 00:02:14,480
Time of the month, you know.
26
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,760
| woke up this morning,
27
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,520
and me bed was like
a butcher's slab.
28
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,280
Aw, disgusting!
29
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,480
But, biologically speaking,
how can you...?
30
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,680
God knows.
31
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,280
Maybe it's psychosomatic.
32
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,400
All | know is, I'm right back
to where | started.
33
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,160
What? A big fat hairy man
in a dress?
34
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,440
Right! I've had enough of this!
35
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:31,520
(BRAKES SCREECH)
36
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,120
Get out!
37
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,480
You can bloody walk
to your conference!
38
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,40
Chauvinist pig!
39
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,360
- Well done, Geoff.
- Not my fault!
40
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,120
As a woman, | could have you
41
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,280
under
the Sex Discrimination Act!
42
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,600
(TYRES SCREECH)
43
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:47,880
As a woman, we could have you
44
00:02:48,00 --> 00:02:49,960
under
the Trades Descriptions Act!
45
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,400
Um, all right, wno would win
46
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,920
out of Alien and Species?
47
00:03:01,40 --> 00:03:03,880
- Uh... Aliens 1?
- Yeah.
48
00:03:05,40 --> 00:03:07,400
- Species.
- Incorrect!
49
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,680
Alien could bleed acid
onto Species
50
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,720
when Species
is anaked woman.
51
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,480
That would be
a video worth watching.
52
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,40
Yeah.
53
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,360
(REENIE HUMS A TUNE)
54
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,480
How are we doing for bags
down here, dear?
55
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,280
Just a minute, dear,
I'm in the book.
56
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,600
What's that, dear?
You're having a look?
57
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,840
No, dear, I'm in the book.
58
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,800
- No need to be rude, dear.
- I'm not being rude, dear.
59
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,520
- You are rude, dear.
- I'm not.
60
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:29,880
(DOOR CLOSES)
61
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,480
- Excuse me.
- Just a minute, dear.
62
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,440
Is it two Ts
in "cassette", dear?
63
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,680
What's that, dear? Two teas?
64
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,00
- Yes.
- Right!
65
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,40
"Cassette."
66
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,560
Right, what can | do
for you, dear?
67
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:40,800
| brought you some stuff.
68
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,400
Ooh, lovely!
Is it good stuff, is it?
69
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,640
Yes, a lot of it's very new,
mainly baby stuff.
70
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,720
| just won't need it any more.
71
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,320
- What's that?
- It's a teddy.
72
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,240
It's a teddy, is it?
73
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,400
Yes, it's brand-new.
74
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,920
| could have
taken it back, but...
75
00:03:54,40 --> 00:03:55,760
Has it got
a special mark on it?
76
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,400
It needs a special mark,
else we can't take it.
77
00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,600
- | don't Know.
- Nah, there's no special mark.
78
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,800
| can't take it
without a special mark!
79
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,840
- Special mark?
- Here we are, dear.
80
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,280
Two teas!
| didn't make you one, dear!
81
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,480
- That's OK.
- What's that?
82
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,960
- It's a teddy.
- It's a teddy, is it?
83
00:04:10,80 --> 00:04:11,360
Has it got
a special mark on it?
84
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,520
No, I'm just explaining
to the lady.
85
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:14,960
We can't take this
without a special mark.
86
00:04:15,80 --> 00:04:16,760
- Why not?
- Well, it's not safe, dear!
87
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,400
All the safe ones
have got a special mark.
88
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,560
It could have glass
in it, this.
89
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:20,840
Or sand, dear.
90
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,800
Give this to a kiddie, dear,
it could die!
91
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,920
It's a deathtrap!
92
00:04:24,40 --> 00:04:25,400
It wouldn't be right
if we took it.
93
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,120
| think the Spastics
will have it, though, dear.
94
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:30,920
Yeah, they'll take anything.
Or Cancer.
95
00:04:31,40 --> 00:04:32,720
Try Cancer. That's only
a few doors down.
96
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,40
Right.
97
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,80
Ooh, we'll keep the bag
if we may, though, dear.
98
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,40
- It's a good bag, is that.
- What is it? Plastic, is it?
99
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,80
| think it is.
100
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,320
Has it got
a special mark on it?
101
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,440
Special mark?
102
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,680
Oh, it needs a special mark,
or we can't take it.
103
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,00
You could kill a kiddie
with this!
104
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,240
What is it?
A deathtrap, is it?
105
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,440
It hasn't got a special mark.
106
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,320
We can't take it, dear.
It's not safe!
107
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,680
Well, give it to
the Spastics, then!
108
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,640
Ooh!
109
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,120
Well, she's no need
to be so rude, has she, dear?
110
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,560
No, dear. Two teas?
111
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,00
- Yeah, I'll get ‘em.
- Mm.
112
00:05:07,80 --> 00:05:10,160
(CHILDREN SHRIEK AND SPLASH)
113
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,640
Right, we've got Ooze FM
this afternoon,
114
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,720
and then a press conference
at the town hall.
115
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,200
- Righto.
- And this is Look North now,
116
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,400
which is going out live,
so please...
117
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,680
| know
what you're going to say.
118
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,00
You're going to tell me
| can't swear.
119
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,560
You do have
a bit of a reputation.
120
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,40
| won't turn the air blue,
Murray, don't worry.
121
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,640
- Now, where do | stand?
- Just here. Thank you.
122
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,120
Now, you do know
we're going out live?
123
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,240
Don't worry. Don't worry.
124
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,200
Thank you, Harry.
125
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,280
I'm joined now by
the Mayor of Royston Vasey,
126
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,360
Larry Vaughan.
127
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,400
Mayor Vaughan,
128
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:39,680
a lot of activity
in the town today.
129
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,00
- What's going on?
- Yes, aS you can see,
130
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,600
it's a beautiful day,
the sun is shining,
131
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,80
and it's like a routine
vaccination programme,
132
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,600
uh, sort of having a flu jab.
133
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,440
Right, and what about
the nosebleeds?
134
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,480
CROWD:
What about the nosebleeds?
135
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,00
Uh, I'm sure
it's perfectly innocent.
136
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,120
There's no need to panic.
137
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,440
Mayor Vaughan, thank you.
138
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,800
It's a fucking pleasure.
139
00:06:03,40 --> 00:06:04,600
(CHILDREN YELL)
140
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,760
(MAN GRUNTS LOUDLY)
141
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,160
(MOANS AND GRUNTS)
142
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,200
Oh, hello, love.
Is your mum in?
143
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,80
IRIS: Ron, I'm nearly there!
Use me, use me!
144
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,360
Would you tell her
145
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,720
Mrs Levinson's here
to see her, please?
146
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,920
Yeah.
147
00:06:25,80 --> 00:06:26,360
Mum!
148
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,680
Hello, Mrs Levinson.
149
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,880
| got your place all spick
and span over t'weekend.
150
00:06:37,00 --> 00:06:38,600
| weren't expecting you back
till this afternoon.
151
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,160
Obviously.
152
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,360
We were just doing some...DIY.
153
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,200
Ron was filling a crack
in the bedroom.
154
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,240
So | heard.
155
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,400
My plane came in early.
156
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,120
| thought I'd pop round
for my keys.
157
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,160
Right, well, come in.
I'll put a brew on.
158
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:55,360
(CHILDREN SQUABBLE NOISILY)
159
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,720
Behave!
160
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,760
- Leave me alone!
- | got you back!
161
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,160
Tanya, get down!
162
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,600
She's just had another litter.
163
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,720
What, you or the dog?
164
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,160
- What's that?
- Nothing!
165
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:10,400
(DOGS BARK AND CHILDREN YELL)
166
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:11,760
So...
167
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,120
..1S your Ricky
out on parole yet?
168
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520
Terrible business, that,
169
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,320
dropping cement blocks
off the flyover.
170
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,120
It were never proved!
171
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,200
Oh, no, I'm sure
your Ricky's blameless.
172
00:07:25,40 --> 00:07:26,00
Eddie and | can't wait
173
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,720
to attend
our Matthew's graduation.
174
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,840
He's done ever so well.
A first.
175
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,760
I'm so proud.
176
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,960
Have you ever considered
college for your ten?
177
00:07:36,80 --> 00:07:37,00
Well, no.
178
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,40
If I'd not had that stillbirth,
179
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,00
we'd have had enough
for a football team, so...
180
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,720
| wonder if you'd come round
this afternoon
181
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,00
and do a couple of hours.
182
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,440
| want the place
as Clean as possible,
183
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,40
what with this health scare.
184
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,680
Oh, yeah,
| Know what you mean.
185
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,840
| can see how hard it must be
with so many,
186
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,00
and the mischief
they get up to.
187
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,160
Not just Ricky.
188
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,600
There was Damien
189
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:02,320
and that toddler
in the quarry pond. Still...
190
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,80
... you've got this place nice.
191
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,640
Yes, Mrs Levinson.
192
00:08:36,40 --> 00:08:38,400
Hello, hello, what's going on?
What's all this shouting?
193
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,120
We'll have no trouble here!
194
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,920
I'm writing a card
for the shop window.
195
00:08:43,40 --> 00:08:46,120
"Wanted. No-tail -
brackets - a woman,
196
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,640
"to marry our son, David,
197
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,640
"in the attic."
198
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:51,760
Show me.
199
00:08:53,00 --> 00:08:55,880
Er, change that
to "local no-tail".
200
00:08:56,00 --> 00:08:58,00
(CLATTERING
AND ROARING UPSTAIRS)
201
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,640
All right, David!
202
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,40
Dada's coming! (SIGHS)
203
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,360
Hello there.
204
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,440
Yes? Can | help you at all?
205
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,720
Do you know if there's
a garage round here?
206
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,520
| was just driving by
and | ran out of petrol.
207
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,280
Pet-ral?
208
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,280
A litre should get me
into town.
209
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,640
Oh!
210
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,400
This is a local shop
for local people!
211
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,960
There's nothing for you here.
212
00:09:26,80 --> 00:09:27,480
It is an emergency.
213
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,520
I'm delivering
medical supplies.
214
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,680
There's no chance you could
fill it up for me, is there?
215
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,960
Oh, all right, then!
216
00:09:36,80 --> 00:09:38,00
But I've only just gone
this morning.
217
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,960
| think I'll try
to find a garage. If...
218
00:09:41,80 --> 00:09:43,480
(SHRIEKS) Edward! Edward!
219
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,800
Hello, what's going on?
What's all this shouting?
220
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,240
We'll have no trouble here!
221
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,280
He's trying to grab my pet-ral!
222
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,320
No, I'm...
223
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,800
He spoke of walking,
but not on legs,
224
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,560
of travelling, Edward,
but not on legs.
225
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,600
Well, I've got a car,
if that's what she means.
226
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:58,640
Devil!
227
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,320
Propelled across the land
228
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,360
in a Carriage
of no horse drawn,
229
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,480
belching Satan's black wind
into our clean and local air!
230
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,360
This is a decent town
and a local shop!
231
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,720
There's nothing for you here!
232
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,320
Fine. I'll be off.
233
00:10:15,00 --> 00:10:17,120
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Edward?
234
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,120
Don't worry, Tubbs.
235
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,120
He won't get far!
236
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,440
- Hello, Justin. How are you?
- Yeah, all right.
237
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,760
Alles klar!
238
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,600
Now, I've just been looking
at my pink pomphlet,
239
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,200
and | see that
this afternoon,
240
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,120
we're going to be seeing
some caves
241
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,840
in the lovely town
of Royston Vasey,
242
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,400
which will be
a real good treat - mmm!
243
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,920
But to make love
with the boys this morning,
244
00:10:46,40 --> 00:10:48,440
| thought
we could play foosball!
245
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,120
Great. England versus Germany.
246
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,160
Jal
247
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,280
You could be
the capital of Royston Vasey
248
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,440
and | could be
the queen of Duisburg!
249
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,880
We'll have to toss
for sides, then.
250
00:10:57,00 --> 00:10:57,920
Oh?
251
00:10:58,40 --> 00:11:00,840
- Do you want heads or tails?
- I'm easy, Justin.
252
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,560
| Know which side
I'm playing on.
253
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,960
OK, do we have
a Pam Doove next,
254
00:11:09,80 --> 00:11:10,880
or a Pamela Doove?
255
00:11:11,00 --> 00:11:14,200
- |'m Pam Doove.
- Hello, there. How are you?
256
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,240
Bit nervous.
257
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,840
Oh, don't worry about that,
Pamela.
258
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,160
Is it Pam or Pamela?
259
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,840
- Pam, Pamela - whatever.
- OK.
260
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,920
We'll stick with Pamela
for now, shall we?
261
00:11:22,40 --> 00:11:23,440
Right, well,
my name's Jed Hunter.
262
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:24,920
I'm going to be directing
this commercial.
263
00:11:25,40 --> 00:11:26,680
| don't know how much
your agent's told you already.
264
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:27,760
Not very much, actually.
265
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,400
OK. Don't worry about that.
266
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,600
Um, basically,
we're scouring the country
267
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,560
looking for a fresh face
for Greenwood's Orange Juice.
268
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,960
We're in a newsagent's.
269
00:11:36,80 --> 00:11:39,960
It's a beautiful day outside,
and a young girl - Pamela -
270
00:11:40,80 --> 00:11:41,40
walks into the shop,
271
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,920
looks around a little bit
and says,
272
00:11:43,40 --> 00:11:45,920
"Excuse me. Has anyone got
a bottle of orange juice?"
273
00:11:46,40 --> 00:11:48,560
And that's it.
It's part of a montage thing.
274
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,360
Would you want movements
within it?
275
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,680
No, no, no. She comes
into the shop, obviously.
276
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,520
She looks around a bit
and says,
277
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,80
"Excuse me. Has anyone got
a bottle of orange juice?"
278
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,160
And that's it.
279
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,640
So if you wanted to give us
that in your own time,
280
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,480
then that'd be cool.
281
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,320
Er, do you think | could go out
and come back in again?
282
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,280
Yeah, whatever's good for you,
Pamela.
283
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,800
Cool, cool, cool.
284
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:23,00
Eksood beef! Have any body
got any bokkle aran joof?!
285
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,920
OK, um...
286
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,320
| don't know
what happened there, Pamela,
287
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,720
but | lost the line.
288
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,800
- Really?
- Yeah.
289
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,200
| think perhaps
a bit more diction,
290
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,440
cos some of the words
were, uh...
291
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,480
So the actual line is,
292
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,760
"Excuse me. Has anyone got
a bottle of orange juice?"
293
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:43,880
I'll go out
and I'll come back again.
294
00:12:44,00 --> 00:12:45,440
Yeah, cool. Cool.
295
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,840
Eksood beef! Have any body got
any bokkle aran joof?!
296
00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,840
OK...
297
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,840
Again, I'm not getting
a sense of the line as written.
298
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,120
She's 24, she's walking
into a newsagent's and saying,
299
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,840
"Excuse me. Has anyone got
a bottle of orange juice?"
300
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,200
Just try and lighten her up
a bit.
301
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,680
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
302
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,520
Yeah.
303
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,520
Eksood beef! Have any body got
any bokkle aran joof?!
304
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,400
That too happy?
305
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,880
Do you get much work
as an actress, Pamela?
306
00:13:35,00 --> 00:13:36,640
- No.
- No.
307
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,440
(CROAKING)
308
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,40
(GASPS) Uncle Harvey?
309
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,760
Auntie Val?
310
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,400
Hello, Benjamin!
311
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,640
Oh, God! Sorry!
312
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,520
Ah, Benjamin!
What's the matter?
313
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,560
(CROAKING)
314
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,880
Well...you're naked.
315
00:14:01,00 --> 00:14:04,40
It's nothing
to be ashamed of, Benjamin.
316
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:08,880
In this house, the first Monday
of every month is Nude Day.
317
00:14:09,00 --> 00:14:10,120
Oh?
318
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,680
Yes, a day when we cast aside
319
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,400
the paraphernalia
of the early 21st century
320
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,520
and return
to a simpler way of life,
321
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,360
closer to nature's intentions.
322
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,480
Already this morning,
we've been to the supermarket,
323
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,400
the post office
and the newsagent.
324
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,40
What, you've been
wandering around like that?
325
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,680
Well, we can't get the bus.
326
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,400
There's nowhere to put
the change!
327
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,560
Oh. Well, | think I'll go out
and get some fresh air.
328
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,520
No, no, no, no, no.
329
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,200
As | say, today is Nude Day.
330
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,800
But | don't understand.
331
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,160
Strip.
332
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,360
I'm sorry?
333
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,320
Take off your clothes.
334
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,720
We can't make
any exceptions, Benjamin.
335
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,560
Well, surely you remember
the rhyme?
336
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,320
"On the first of the month
we see clearly
337
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,400
"To be clothed all the time
costs us dearly."
338
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,240
"So constriction away!
Be happy and gay."
339
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:08,40
"Let your bum, balls and ninny
swing freely!"
340
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,600
No, | d-don't remember
that one.
341
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,680
Aww, poor boy.
He's forgotten everything!
342
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,440
Come along, Benjamin.
343
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,200
- Well...if you're sure.
- Yes!
344
00:15:20,40 --> 00:15:22,600
This is how we always do it.
345
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,480
- (DOORBELL)
- Ah!
346
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,520
Get that for me, would you,
Benjamin, please?
347
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,560
Um...
348
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,360
Your uncle and |
have some things to attend to.
349
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,800
Just checking
I've got enough vaccine.
350
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,840
| thought I'd give you
your jabs while I'm here.
351
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,40
Oh.
352
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,760
Benjamin!
What on earth are you doing?
353
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,160
What is the meaning of this?
354
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,560
Butt-naked
in the lobby of this house?
355
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,520
Doubtless you've been
in the bathroom,
356
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,280
spraying your belly
with sticky white love piss.
357
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,920
No! You said | was...
358
00:16:14,40 --> 00:16:15,520
Take the boy upstairs, Val!
359
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,720
Oh! Oh!
360
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,360
(SMACK!)
361
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,760
| think you're right,
Mr Denton.
362
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,120
The boy's obviously
in a state of some confusion.
363
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:29,520
Yes. Perhaps a strong sedative
of some kind...
364
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,680
- Mmm.
- ...Say, chloramazapine, 20mg?
365
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,640
Mm. Extraordinary behaviour.
366
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,480
| mean,
if it were your Nude Day,
367
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:38,960
| could understand.
368
00:16:39,80 --> 00:16:42,360
Exactly. But that doesn't fall
till the 15th.
369
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,520
Yeah, just tell him... Hello?
370
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,00
Yeah, just tell him
the Royston Vasey contingent...
371
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,440
No, Royston Vasey!
372
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,680
Oh, we're gonna be so late
now!
373
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,40
We'll miss the Plastics
Of The Millennium seminar.
374
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,160
| know.
And the cakes at the start.
375
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,880
Are you sure you know
where we're going, Geoff?
376
00:17:00,00 --> 00:17:02,120
Oh, do bears shit in the woods?
377
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,640
No, but / might have to,
if we don't get there soon.
378
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,800
Use a dock leaf. That's what
we used to do in TAs.
379
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,680
- Have you got through, Mike?
- Nah, the battery's dead.
380
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,680
Oh, where the hell are we?!
381
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,80
- | say we go back.
- And how's that gonna look?
382
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,480
Everyone else
is gonna be there!
383
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,520
Sh, sh, sh!
384
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,680
- What?
- Sh!
385
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,880
(FARTS) One-nil!
386
00:17:22,00 --> 00:17:23,600
Geoff, this is serious.
387
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,80
If we don't get
to this conference...
388
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,240
Mike, we'll get there!
| Know exactly where we are.
389
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:29,720
| was in the TAs.
390
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,440
That is north,
that is magnetic north,
391
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,320
and just over this brow here
is our hotel.
392
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,840
Just across that river.
393
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,400
Oh, that's it! I'm going back!
394
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,00
We're in the middle of nowhere!
395
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,320
Well, what are
we gonna do? Swim?!
396
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,920
Girls, girls, girls!
397
00:17:48,40 --> 00:17:50,40
You're forgetting
| was in the TAs.
398
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,120
Oh, so what?!
399
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,880
| can get us across this river
in ten minutes flat.
400
00:17:54,00 --> 00:17:55,360
We used to do it
In Special Ops,
401
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,560
week in, week out.
402
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,00
And what about our suits?
403
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,760
You won't get a splash
on you, Brian. Trust me.
404
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,360
It'll be fine.
405
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,360
Help me!
406
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,00
Help! Help me, Mike, help me!
407
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,560
(SQUEALS)
408
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,840
Argh!
409
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,760
(COUGHS)
410
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,600
Well, we're across.
411
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,960
Oh, there you are,
Mrs Levinson.
412
00:18:32,80 --> 00:18:34,480
Those sodding Germans
woke me up, Iris.
413
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:38,240
| had to have a lie-down.
Marks & Spencer's wiped me out.
414
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,360
It's not what it used to be.
415
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,160
People use it
like a Supermarket now!
416
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,800
- Really?
- Mind you, it's dear.
417
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,320
But isn't everything
these days?
418
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,80
It must be hard for you, love.
419
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,960
| don't suppose
you get much money
420
00:18:50,80 --> 00:18:53,160
from Ron flogging roses
in the middle of the A54.
421
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,960
- We get by.
- Oh, | know.
422
00:18:55,80 --> 00:18:57,600
But it's a bare kind
of existence, isn't it?
423
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,880
And then you have to come here
and see how
424
00:19:00,00 --> 00:19:01,880
Eddie and | enjoy life!
Well...
425
00:19:02,00 --> 00:19:03,800
It must make you feel like
a little Rwandan
426
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,80
let loose
in Harrods’ food hall.
427
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,120
- (CHUCKLES)
- You're right, Mrs Levinson.
428
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,480
Sometimes | think
my little buggers
429
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,00
will eat me
out of house and home.
430
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,200
But at least they're not faddy.
431
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,760
Must have been hell,
that business with your Nicola.
432
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,40
(CHILDREN'S VOICES OUTSIDE)
433
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,320
(THUD!)
434
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,360
Honestly,
435
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,960
they'll have a window through
if they're not careful!
436
00:19:20,80 --> 00:19:22,600
Special plate,
separate cutlery,
437
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,120
all that fuss
wi' the rubber gloves.
438
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,720
I'm going to have a word
with their teacher!
439
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,440
Wouldn't eat bread,
wouldn't drink milk,
440
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,80
wouldn't stay in the same room
as a potato!
441
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,120
lris!
442
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,320
Mind you, when she did eat,
she couldn't keep it in.
443
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,600
We never knew which end
444
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,280
it was gonna come out of
sometimes!
445
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,880
Hee-hee-hee!
446
00:19:37,00 --> 00:19:37,960
Do you remember when
447
00:19:38,80 --> 00:19:39,400
there was that smell
coming from her bedroom?
448
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,00
We lifted the ceiling tiles,
449
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,240
and found all them Morrisons
bags full of sick.
450
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:44,600
Please!
451
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,600
Now she's in
the psychiatric ward,
452
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,280
she has to eat
what she's given!
453
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,360
Since it comes through a tube.
454
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,880
Well, I'm going outside
to have strong words
455
00:19:56,00 --> 00:19:57,240
before there's an accident!
456
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,880
Honestly, Iris, it's getting
as bad as your estate.
457
00:20:00,00 --> 00:20:02,80
| know, Mrs Levinson.
458
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,840
Must make you
want to throw up.
459
00:20:08,80 --> 00:20:10,400
| couldn't possibly,
Mrs de Courcey.
460
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,920
Oh, but we insist!
461
00:20:12,40 --> 00:20:16,00
A present for Uncle Vetty
from Bentley!
462
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,720
(WHISPERS)
For all your kindnesses!
463
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,160
I'm ever so worried about him,
Mr Chinnery.
464
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,880
He's normally
such a sprightly little fellow,
465
00:20:24,00 --> 00:20:26,680
aren't you, my darling,
aren't you?
466
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,240
Hello. Hello, Bentley.
467
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,720
- Hmm...
- (BENTLEY FARTS)
468
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,160
Oh, please be gentle with him!
469
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,840
| think perhaps
we haven't been firm enough
470
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:36,880
with Bentley, have we?
471
00:20:37,00 --> 00:20:39,400
What did he have for breakfast
this morning?
472
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,880
Um...Winalot.
473
00:20:42,00 --> 00:20:42,960
And what else?
474
00:20:43,80 --> 00:20:47,80
A little poached salmon.
Um...foie gras.
475
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,400
Sliced truffle.
476
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,760
(BENTLEY FARTS)
477
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,360
Now, remember what we talked
about, Mrs de Courcey.
478
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,200
Bentley's a dog.
He's not a person.
479
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,00
- Oh, but I only...
- Look at his little belly.
480
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,760
Distended with methane
481
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,840
from all that rich rubbish
you've been feeding him.
482
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,40
Oh, but he's so delicate!
483
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,920
He's not made of china.
484
00:21:08,40 --> 00:21:12,560
| fear a serious bowel disorder
has been precipitated.
485
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,680
So I'm going
to have to perform...
486
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,00
- ...a rectal examination.
- On!
487
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:23,280
Oh, Bentley!
Oh, you brave little soldier!
488
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,640
There. There we go.
489
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,800
- There we go, Bentley.
- Poor little Bentley!
490
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,920
| think you'll find
he's a little more robust
491
00:21:35,40 --> 00:21:36,200
than you give him credit for.
492
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,200
(SQUELCHING)
493
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,560
(LOUD, RASPING FART)
494
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,560
(WHIMPERS AND FARTS)
495
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,160
Oh, dear.
496
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,560
That's it, Tubbs. Fill her up.
A little more.
497
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,40
All right, stop. Get in!
498
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,360
| don't know why we never
thought of this before.
499
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,600
If the no-tails
won't come to us,
500
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,520
we must go to them!
501
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,00
We'll have a bride for David
in no time.
502
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,360
Oh, Edward,
how do | make it walk?!
503
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,400
Now, patience, Tubbs, patience.
504
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,360
We must read the instructions
thoroughly.
505
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,640
(ENGINE REVS)
506
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,800
We don't want
anyone getting hurt.
507
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,640
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
508
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,600
ALLY: All right, who would win
out of Gandhi
509
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,920
and Sister Act II:
Back In The Habit?
510
00:22:59,40 --> 00:23:00,600
HENRY: Um...
511
00:23:03,40 --> 00:23:04,640
It's not so bad, love.
512
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:08,440
The lease is only for a year.
513
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,920
We've got our privacy.
That's the main thing.
514
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,200
- (SCREAMS)
- Oh, good!
515
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,520
You are at home!
516
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,760
I'm sure you don't mind a visit
from your landlord, eh?
517
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,360
What are you doing, mister?!
518
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,920
Call me Pop, Gary! (CHUCKLES)
519
00:23:25,40 --> 00:23:27,240
And you, Lynne,
how are you, huh?
520
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,960
- OK.
- Yeah, yeah.
521
00:23:30,80 --> 00:23:34,480
We's gonna be good friends,
me and you, Lynne.
522
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,720
- (GASPS)
- Ooh! Good friends!
523
00:23:39,40 --> 00:23:43,40
But now, my friends,
| bring gifts for you!
524
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,480
This is a custom
from the old country,
525
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,880
whenever you move
to a new home.
526
00:23:49,00 --> 00:23:50,600
A bull's heart -
527
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,440
that you will always
have strength.
528
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,40
(YELPS)
529
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,80
And manure -
530
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,880
that you will always
be fertile.
531
00:24:00,00 --> 00:24:03,680
This last, Gary,
this is for you.
532
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,480
- (SLAP!)
- Yeah.
533
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,600
But now, my friends,
| have bad news.
534
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,00
What is it?
535
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:15,80
Is my lawyers!
They are vampire!
536
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,280
They bleed me dry!
537
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,480
| say to them,
538
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,440
"| have a property
for a fine young couple!
539
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,560
"They are not tenants to me!
540
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,400
"They are like my children.
541
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,520
"| want to give them
a good start in life."
542
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,840
But the lawyers, they say no.
543
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,160
Is business.
544
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,640
They want to put the rent up
by an hundred quid.
545
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,160
- (SIGHS) No.
- No!
546
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:41,560
But don't worry, Gary.
Pop stand up to them.
547
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,720
We do a deal.
548
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,560
So now it's only £90 more.
549
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,360
Huh, thanks.
550
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:52,360
But, hey!
What am | thinking about?!
551
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,840
This is your first week
In your new home!
552
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,480
There is no place
for Pop here. | go.
553
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,480
| come back for the money
in the morning.
554
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,480
Oh, don't worry,
| have my own key!
555
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,440
- (SQUEALS)
- Oh!
556
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,640
You're a lucky man, Gary.
557
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,80
(GRUNTS)
558
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,40
A lucky, lucky man.
559
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,520
You look nervous, Samuel.
560
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,720
Well, of course I'm nervous!
561
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:35,800
It's this public health thing.
562
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,520
| mean, they're bound to be
sniffing round, aren't they?
563
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,800
What if they find something?!
What if...
564
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,560
They'll find nothing!
Trust me.
565
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,320
| dealt with Maurice.
566
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,00
| can deal with this.
567
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:49,160
You...dealt with Maurice?
568
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,520
| don't think
we'll have any more trouble
569
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,840
from our resident magistrate.
570
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,520
Yes, but can you be sure?!
571
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,360
Fear is the best insurance
that money can buy.
572
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,880
EUNICE: | notice Pat
has got a nosebleed,
573
00:26:04,00 --> 00:26:05,640
and Denise from the Threshers.
574
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,560
And even Trevor who fetches
my coleslaw from Otley.
575
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,00
And you know Jan that works
with me in the sandwich shop?
576
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,640
Well, she says
they might be having
577
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,00
compulsory health inspections.
578
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:18,960
Do you want to carve, love?
579
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,240
(SNIFFS)
580
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:28,960
Ah! (MURMURS APPROVINGLY)
581
00:26:29,80 --> 00:26:30,400
Heh-heh!
582
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,960
(CHUCKLES)
583
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,320
Ah!
584
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,120
(GRUNTS)
585
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,120
(ZIP!)
586
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,720
(GRUNTS)
587
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,80
Yeah...
588
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,880
All right, Brian?
589
00:27:30,00 --> 00:27:31,760
I've found a good splint!
590
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,600
- (RIP!)
- I'm gonna tie it to your leg.
591
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,880
Please don't, Geoff.
592
00:27:37,00 --> 00:27:38,400
Argh! Argh!
593
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,280
All right, all right!
594
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,680
Here, | brought you
some dock leaves,
595
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,40
in case you want that bab.
596
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,320
Where's Mike?
He said he'd only be an hour!
597
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,00
Probably lost.
598
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,200
He can't read the land
like | can.
599
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,960
| bet they don't find us
for days!
600
00:27:52,80 --> 00:27:53,00
Oh, Christ!
601
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:54,800
It's all right, Brian.
I'll look after you.
602
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,480
Here, | brought you some food.
603
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,440
- What is it?
- Well, just eat 'em.
604
00:27:58,560 --> 00:27:59,640
They're good for you!
605
00:28:01,40 --> 00:28:02,120
Are you not having any?
606
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,520
No, I've got this.
607
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:07,640
| found it in me pocket.
608
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,880
| wish I'd stayed in the TAs.
| was good at that!
609
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,800
| wanted to join the Army.
They said | was too fat.
610
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,80
This job I'm doing now...
611
00:28:25,40 --> 00:28:27,440
...l'm no good at it.
Mike hates me.
612
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,880
- That's not true, Geoff.
- It is!
613
00:28:30,00 --> 00:28:32,720
And | bet | get blamed
for all this as well!
614
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,760
Yeah, well, I'll show 'em.
615
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,400
If | can get us back
to that hotel...
616
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:40,920
...In front of that board...
617
00:28:42,80 --> 00:28:44,840
.. hopefully
with you still alive...
618
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,40
... maybe
I'll have done something.
619
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,400
One thing to show 'em
what I'm capable of.
620
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,800
We know what you're capable of.
621
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,920
- Sh!
- Oh, not again, Geoff.
622
00:28:56,40 --> 00:28:58,320
(TWIGS CRACK)
623
00:28:58,440 --> 00:28:59,920
(WHISPERS) What was that?
624
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,00
It could be the enemy.
625
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,520
What enemy?
626
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,760
(GEOFF HOWLS)
627
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,960
(BOTH SCREAM)
628
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:20,720
Who is it?
629
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,400
It's Mike.
41420
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