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1
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,440
Mummy...!
2
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:23,640
Disgusting!
3
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,840
(LAUGHS MANICALLY)
4
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,40
(ENGINE CHUGS)
5
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:30,800
RADIO: The great sound
of Lena Martell there.
6
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,880
Now a dedication
to all in the Ed Stewart Ward
7
00:01:33,00 --> 00:01:35,640
at St Mary's who are having
a bleeding miserable time
8
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,920
in the nasal area.
So, we're going back
9
00:01:38,40 --> 00:01:40,720
in Mike King's time machine
now, to 1976.
10
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,760
Here's Racey!
11
00:01:45,80 --> 00:01:47,280
(POP MUSIC)
12
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,40
Ey!
13
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,800
Remember this? Some Girls Do.
14
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,00
| played rhythm guitar
on that...
15
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,920
...on the demo. Oh, yeah.
16
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,960
Nicky Chinn says to me,
17
00:02:01,80 --> 00:02:03,80
"Les, you keep on playing
like that, son,
18
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,600
"and we'll be...
finished on schedule."
19
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,240
And we were.
20
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,40
Ahead of time, in fact.
21
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,760
Went down the pub.
He buys me a pint.
22
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,920
Lovely fella.
Right good sense of humour.
23
00:02:14,40 --> 00:02:17,160
McQueen!
There's arses need wiping.
24
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,560
Righto, Mr Best.
25
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,40
Yeah, you're right, though.
I'm glad | packed it in.
26
00:02:25,80 --> 00:02:27,320
- It's a shit business.
- McQueen!
27
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,640
So, caring, considerate,
good-looking...
28
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,480
Sorry, is that what you are
or what you want?
29
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,160
- That's what | want.
- Right.
30
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,960
| was gonna Say -
good-looking?!
31
00:02:43,80 --> 00:02:45,360
OK, my name is Olive,
32
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,920
and it's my job to build up
a profile of you
33
00:02:48,40 --> 00:02:51,320
and match it to a suitable lady
from our extensive files.
34
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,120
So question one -
are you very kind,
35
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,680
kind, fairly kind,
or not at all kind to animals?
36
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,120
I'm sorry?
37
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,560
Are you very kind, kind,
fairly kind
38
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,320
or not at all kind to animals?
39
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,800
| can't really say.
40
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,400
So not at all kind to animals.
41
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,600
Oh, don't put that.
42
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,840
No, I've got to take your first
answer. Are you quiet?
43
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,160
When?
44
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,440
In general.
45
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,00
- Sometimes I'm...
- So, quiet.
46
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,200
Well, do you have to put that?
47
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,720
Well, we need all your bad
points as well, you know.
48
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,160
That's not such a bad point,
is it?
49
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,840
Well, you say that,
50
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,680
but you can't get a girlfriend,
can you?
51
00:03:22,40 --> 00:03:23,120
Let me explain a little bit
52
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,600
about how a dating agency
works.
53
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,840
95% of the people that come
through our doors are weirdos.
54
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,520
In fact, my boyfriend
doesn't like me working here.
55
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:31,640
It's not that he's jealous.
56
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,280
| tell him, "You should see
the state of 'em!"
57
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,280
No, he just thinks
it's depressing for me.
58
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,640
Did you meet him
through an agency?
59
00:03:42,40 --> 00:03:43,440
God, no!
60
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,320
| shall tell him that tonight
in bed!
61
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,760
He'll laugh!
62
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,00
No, we met at a friend's party.
63
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,760
See, that's the thing,
you see, you meet people
64
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,120
through people.
65
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,480
That's what a lot of 'em
haven't got - friends.
66
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,960
And, ultimately,
67
00:03:55,80 --> 00:03:56,960
you have to question that,
don't you?
68
00:03:57,80 --> 00:03:58,400
Anyway,
listen to me wittering on.
69
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:02,160
Let's get you paired up.
Miracles can happen, you know!
70
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,360
So, how confident are you,
on a scale of one to ten?
71
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:05,840
Ten being very confident.
72
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,560
Five.
73
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,80
Two.
74
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,560
Are you single, married,
divorced, widowed,
75
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,00
- or separated?
- Single.
76
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,800
Single, obviously.
Now, do you want
77
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,840
a physical relationship?
lan, we have to ask this
78
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,600
because some of our ladies
are not capable
79
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:20,760
of blowing up a paper bag,
80
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,560
- never mind the other.
- Yes.
81
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,200
- You are or, yes, you aren't?
- Yes, |am.
82
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,840
Ooh, it's like Cracker, this,
isn't it? "Why did you
83
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,200
"force her?
Why did you force her?"
84
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,680
(YELLS) | didn't force her!
85
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:32,960
| didn't force her.
86
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,360
OK, lan, we'll, er,
put all this information
87
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,880
into the computer,
and if we get a match,
88
00:04:41,00 --> 00:04:42,600
we'll...we'll let you Know, OK?
89
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,600
Olive,
90
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,160
do you think that if - if -
you didn't have a boyfriend,
91
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,960
- one day you could...?
- No.
92
00:05:02,00 --> 00:05:03,920
Everything all right, Mickey,
love?
93
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,160
Right, Pauline.
94
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,680
Please take a seat.
95
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,520
Oh, thank you.
96
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:26,920
Now, then,
according to your file,
97
00:05:27,40 --> 00:05:28,160
you were recently dismissed
98
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:29,920
from the Burger Me!
fast-food restaurant -
99
00:05:30,40 --> 00:05:32,40
- is that correct?
- That is correct, yes.
100
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,880
What happened, exactly?
Mickey wouldn't say.
101
00:05:36,00 --> 00:05:38,240
| don't know, Ross.
102
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,560
| guess we just didn't...
cut the mustard.
103
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,960
Right. Well, that's
what I'll put in my report.
104
00:05:46,80 --> 00:05:48,00
Pen?
105
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,600
Thank you.
106
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,400
You're welcome.
107
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,680
You do realise what this means,
don't you, Pauline?
108
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,80
| do, Ross. Back on the dole,
109
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,760
getting up at dinner time,
110
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,800
and flicking myself off
to Trisha.
111
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:09,600
No, the DSS rules state
that because you were sacked...
112
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,520
...all your benefits will be
suspended...
113
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,40
You what?!
114
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,680
... for a period not less than
nine weeks.
115
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,200
Nine weeks?!
116
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,800
What am | supposed to do?!
117
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,640
I've been washing me hair
in Fairy Liquid
118
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:23,800
for the past fortnight!
119
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,480
Well, you're going
to have to look for other work,
120
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,120
aren't you? Go downstairs,
look at the boards.
121
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,400
Oh, I'm 48, Ross.
122
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,800
Couldn't you just give me
me old job back?
123
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,120
I've changed. You know | have.
124
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,320
I'm sorry, Pauline.
It's out of my hands.
125
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,160
What about...
126
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,200
...the child?
127
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,560
Mickey?
128
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,840
Well, the same goes for him,
I'm afraid.
129
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,600
Look, | feel sorry for you,
but...
130
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:48,920
... there it is.
131
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,400
Oh, actually,
there is one thing.
132
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,840
| could lodge an appeal
on your behalf.
133
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,120
It might not work,
134
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,160
but it at least would slow
the whole process down.
135
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,320
Oh, if you could, Ross.
136
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,00
Anything to give me
a bit more time,
137
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,680
- you know?
- OK.
138
00:07:06,00 --> 00:07:07,200
Beg me.
139
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:10,880
What?
140
00:07:13,80 --> 00:07:14,520
Well, come on, Pauline.
141
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,920
Let's see how you like it.
142
00:07:18,40 --> 00:07:19,440
Beg me.
143
00:07:22,40 --> 00:07:23,400
Not very nice, is it?
144
00:07:25,40 --> 00:07:28,80
You might want to think
about that.
145
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,320
See you later, Mickey.
146
00:07:49,80 --> 00:07:51,920
- PAULINE: Raaaar!
- (YELLS)
147
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,80
(GRUNTS)
148
00:08:02,80 --> 00:08:03,680
(WAILS)
149
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,440
(BOTH YELL)
150
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,440
(CRUNCH)
151
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,280
- (CHOKES)
- MICKEY: Pauline!
152
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,280
Get him off me, Mickey, love!
153
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,720
Help me!
154
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,120
Get off me!
What are you doing?!
155
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,400
Get him in that chair,
Mickey, love!
156
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,160
- Quick!
- Pauline, what's happening?
157
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,200
You vicious little bastard!
158
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,480
You think you can walk
into my office and speak to me
159
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,920
- like that?!
- It's my office.
160
00:08:39,40 --> 00:08:41,200
Not any more, Ross.
161
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,680
Not any more.
162
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,240
(LOUD GROWL)
163
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,200
Quiet, David!
We're trying to work.
164
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,720
- Now, candles...
- Erm...
165
00:08:58,80 --> 00:08:59,280
Twelvety.
166
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,280
Good. Cans of can't?
167
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,560
Erm...
168
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,480
Twelvety.
169
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,200
And precious things?
170
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,320
Um...
171
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,840
Twelvety.
172
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,640
Good. We haven't sold a thing.
173
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,920
Oh, Tubbs...
174
00:09:20,40 --> 00:09:21,840
We're getting too old for this.
175
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,40
My eyes,
they're not what they were.
176
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:29,640
Well, perhaps David could help
out on busy days like today?
177
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,240
No, Tubbs! This is a local shop
for local people.
178
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,880
David has spent far too much
time amongst the strangers.
179
00:09:37,00 --> 00:09:38,520
- His behaviour is too...
- (BUZZING)
180
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,480
- (THUD!)
- ...peculiar.
181
00:09:44,40 --> 00:09:45,480
Maybe...
182
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,160
...but one day
this shop will be his.
183
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,160
That's what worries me.
Our mother was lucky -
184
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,00
she had us
to carry on the line,
185
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,680
but David's an only child.
186
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,920
And my insides are all wrong.
187
00:09:59,40 --> 00:10:03,640
Then the time has come
to find him a mate.
188
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,160
A no-tail?
But how will we get one?
189
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,00
Leave it to me, Tubbs.
190
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,600
|...have a way with women.
191
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,320
Seen, seen, seen, seen, seen...
192
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,960
Seen.
193
00:10:22,80 --> 00:10:23,760
Seen, seen, seen, seen...
194
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,200
- All right, Ollie?
- All right, Henry?
195
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,480
Have you seen this?
My sister got it out.
196
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,520
Richard |-l-|?
197
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,120
What's it about?
198
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,640
It's about two hours.
199
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,440
No, | mean,
what is the theme of the film?
200
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,880
Oh, the theme of the film is...
201
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,840
# Dum de-de-le de-de-de-de-de
202
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,760
# De-de-le de-de-de-de-de
203
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,480
# De-de-le
de-de-der-der-der! #
204
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,800
Is it an 'orror?
205
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,680
No, it's, er, Shakespeare.
206
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,00
You div-oid!
207
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,760
Shakespeare is a language.
208
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,80
Yeah, that is what | thought,
but it turns out
209
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,320
Shakespeare is a director
from them days.
210
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,960
- It's colour, though.
- SO, was it any good?
211
00:11:02,80 --> 00:11:03,200
Yeah.
212
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,240
- There is some talking.
- (GROANS)
213
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,840
No, but mainly it's just
loads and loads of killings.
214
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,840
- How many?
- Loads.
215
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,360
- Do you see ‘em all?
- Yeah.
216
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,240
Would Richard I-I-I win,
say, Predator?
217
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:17,800
In terms of killings, yes.
218
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,00
Right,
well, we'll get it, then.
219
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,880
"lan McKellen"?
220
00:11:22,00 --> 00:11:23,400
| thunked he was a weatherman.
221
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:24,640
HENRY: He is.
222
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,560
(WHISTLES)
223
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,320
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
224
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,400
Oh-ho-ho!
225
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,760
Stinks like a cacky nappy
in here.
226
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:36,960
Hello, Mr King!
227
00:11:37,80 --> 00:11:38,640
Are you not doing
your radio show?
228
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,600
That's what I've come
to talk to you about.
229
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,00
It's Les, isn't it?
230
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,600
Yeah! That's right.
231
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,480
Well, I've been talking
to some of the lads.
232
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:46,840
You used to be in a band,
didn't you?
233
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,600
Yeah. Creme Brulee.
234
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,800
Creme Brulee.
You're the ones who...
235
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,440
Nearly signed to Pickwick
in '76, yeah!
236
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,720
What was your first single?
237
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,560
- Telephone Tears.
- Telephone Tears. Never!
238
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:02,160
# You're always engaged, girl
But not to me
239
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,920
# Is there room
in your heart, girl
240
00:12:04,40 --> 00:12:06,00
# For my last 2p?
The operator... #
241
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,320
Listen, Les, um, have you done
any DJing in your time?
242
00:12:11,80 --> 00:12:13,00
- Yes.
- How would you like
243
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,120
to do a guest spot
on The Sunshine Show?
244
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,480
- When?
- Tonight, actually.
245
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,920
Something's come up and |
can't be there. Charity benefit
246
00:12:19,40 --> 00:12:21,80
for Down's syndrome.
Would you fancy filling in?
247
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,320
- Er...
- Or are you working?
248
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,920
Doesn't matter if you can't.
249
00:12:24,40 --> 00:12:25,160
No, no, I'm sure I'm finished
250
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,320
by the time you do
your evening slot, Mr King.
251
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,320
- Mike.
- Mike.
252
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,760
Great.
Well, come up about ten to.
253
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,280
Righto. Er, Mike...
254
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,80
..1S there a...playlist?
255
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,320
To tell you the truth,
there's only 30 LPs in there.
256
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,920
These buggers never notice.
Play what you like.
257
00:12:42,40 --> 00:12:44,40
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
258
00:12:46,80 --> 00:12:47,880
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
259
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,440
(WHISPERS) Hilary?
260
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,80
We must stop meeting like this.
261
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,280
| don't need to go, you know.
262
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,160
Better get it out...
263
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,320
- ...for appearances.
- Oh, right.
264
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,920
(ZIP OPENS)
265
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,480
Are we still on for tonight?
266
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:20,880
Is that an offer, Maurice?
267
00:13:21,00 --> 00:13:23,40
The meeting, | mean.
268
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,600
Seems longer than a month
since the last one.
269
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,240
I'm looking forward
to filling my freezer again.
270
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,920
8.30 prompt.
271
00:13:30,40 --> 00:13:32,200
- (ZIP CLOSES QUICKLY)
- My place.
272
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,760
(DOOR OPENS)
273
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:52,00
As you can see, we have
a very generous reception area.
274
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,160
(SWITCH CLICKS ON AND OFF)
275
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,200
When you decide
you wanna move in,
276
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,880
| get my son, Al,
to put a new bulb in there.
277
00:14:00,00 --> 00:14:02,360
Well, we've got a few more
places to see yet, Mr, er...
278
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:03,680
Call me Pop!
279
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:08,240
Ah, now, the telephone number
here is a real feature.
280
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,720
It's 444 4244. Huh?
281
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,560
It's real easy to remember.
282
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,880
| bet if | ask you now,
"What is the phone number?"
283
00:14:15,00 --> 00:14:16,840
you can reel it back to me,
yeah?
284
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,240
SO, go on.
What is the phone number?
285
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,640
Er, 4...
286
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,360
444 4244!
287
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,640
That's right.
You see? You know it already.
288
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,760
You said
it was central heating.
289
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,80
Er, that's right,
it's central heating.
290
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,880
So, Gary, you like the room,
eh?
291
00:14:32,00 --> 00:14:35,120
It's fully fitted for a TV,
video, satellite.
292
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,160
You can do whatever you like
in this room.
293
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,400
You could be making love
on the floor, huh?
294
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,280
Whatever.
Once you sign the lease,
295
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,40
| let you get on
with whatever you like.
296
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,280
But | can't see any radiators.
297
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,720
Ya. Um,
298
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,720
| expect you wanna go
and see the kitchen, yeah?
299
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,80
A woman wanna know most,
when she look at a house, is,
300
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,480
"What is the kitchen like?"
That's right, isn't it, Gary?
301
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,520
You go and look at the kitchen
while | talk to Gary.
302
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,440
Well, we've got another
appointment at 4.30.
303
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,80
Oh, it's no necessary!
304
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,600
No necessary.
305
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,880
You will not find
a better place than this,
306
00:15:12,00 --> 00:15:13,520
not for the price.
307
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,00
Well, we're just looking.
308
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,520
And now you've found, so sign!
309
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,200
Well, I-l need to speak to...
310
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,680
(LAUGHS)
311
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,120
Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary,
Gary...
312
00:15:25,40 --> 00:15:28,360
(SIGHS) ...what is you worried
about, huh?
313
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:29,920
You worried about that?
314
00:15:30,40 --> 00:15:32,440
Take some advice from a man
who knows life -
315
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,360
women lack decision.
316
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,840
So...
317
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,160
...l'm-a gonna give you
this pen, huh?
318
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,520
And you is gonna sign
this paper
319
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,00
and we're gonna shake hands
like men,
320
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,280
like men who've done a deal!
321
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,00
- | can't sign w...
- In a minute, Gary,
322
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,720
I'm gonna lose my temper
with you.
323
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,360
Cos we had an agreement here,
a verbal agreement.
324
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,240
That is like a contract,
325
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,920
and you don't break a contract,
Gary,
326
00:15:58,40 --> 00:16:00,280
- not without consequence.
- Well, I...
327
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,720
What is the matter with you?
328
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,760
Are you a homosexual?
You can't make a decision?!
329
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,40
- Mwah, mwah, mwah!
- What?
330
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,400
Please show me!
Prove it to me-e!
331
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,680
Sign your name.
332
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,80
That's who you are.
333
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,400
(PEN SCRATCHES)
334
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,960
I'm proud of you, Gary.
335
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,480
Something happen here today.
336
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,560
(INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY)
337
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,280
Something good.
338
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,360
Congratulations, Lyn.
339
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,680
Welcome to your new home!
340
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,560
(DOOR CLOSES)
341
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,40
Gary, there's no heating.
342
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,680
(SCREAMS)
343
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,480
Help! Someone, please...!
344
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:56,00
Oh, my dear! What has happened?
Are you all right?
345
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,120
My leg! | was just out walking!
346
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,520
Yes!
Who would do such a thing?
347
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,200
| don't Know!
Oh, thank God you came!
348
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,200
- Ah...
- Thank God!
349
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,640
Tell me, my dear,
350
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,200
- are you local?
- No!
351
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,880
- (SCREAMS)
- Damn!
352
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,840
Did the plan work, Edward?
353
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,480
(SCREAMS)
354
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,600
Not local.
355
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,240
Oh...
356
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,480
Sir! Sir! Please help me!
357
00:17:35,40 --> 00:17:36,760
Pauline, what are you doing?
358
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,840
Shut up. I'm thinking.
359
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,280
Now, has anyone been past yet,
Mickey, love?
360
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,640
Only cars.
361
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:43,720
Right, well, you let me know
362
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,40
if any pigs
start sniffing round,
363
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,880
- all right?
- Right.
364
00:17:47,00 --> 00:17:48,360
What about dogs?
365
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,560
Oh, what do you hope to achieve
by this?
366
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,440
| want my job back, you shit!
367
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,360
The job you stole from me.
368
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,280
Otherwise, what,
you're gonna draw on my face?
369
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,920
I'll do more than that.
370
00:17:59,40 --> 00:18:01,160
Pauline,
there's someone coming.
371
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,640
Right, let me speak to 'em.
372
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,40
Get down!
373
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,360
- Hello! Hello, little boy.
- (BRAKES SQUEAK)
374
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,440
Right, | need you to go
to the police station
375
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,280
and give a message
to Inspector Cox.
376
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,920
Cox!
377
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,560
Tell him | am holding a hostage
here at the Jobcentre,
378
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,960
and | will not let him go
until | get reinstated
379
00:18:20,80 --> 00:18:21,680
as Restart officer.
380
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,880
Now, have you got that?
381
00:18:24,00 --> 00:18:25,440
What's up with him?
Is he simple?
382
00:18:27,80 --> 00:18:28,00
Never mind.
383
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,720
You can also tell him | want
a big, massive box of pens
384
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,600
with the words "Pauline's pens"
written on the side.
385
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,240
And | want a fire engine.
386
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,760
Give over! No, ignore that.
387
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,80
Pauline, you promised!
388
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,480
What are you gonna do with it,
Mickey, love?
389
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,120
- You can't even drive!
- | can learn.
390
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,520
In a fire engine?!
391
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,480
I'd like to see you do
a three-point turn.
392
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,200
No, forget the fire engine.
393
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:51,880
Just get me my job back.
394
00:18:52,00 --> 00:18:53,80
And the pens!
395
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,240
And the pens!
396
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,400
- | want a fire engine.
- They won't have time.
397
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,720
| want one now!
398
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:58,880
Oh, for fu...
399
00:18:59,00 --> 00:19:00,560
Little boy, change of plan -
400
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,400
we now want the fire engine.
All right?
401
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,80
Well, go on, then - off you go!
402
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,00
Are you satisfied?
403
00:19:13,80 --> 00:19:14,760
Well, now what happens?
404
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,640
Now we wait.
405
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,960
And if they won't cooperate?
406
00:19:20,80 --> 00:19:22,800
Then | start cutting off
your benefits.
407
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,600
(POP MUSIC)
408
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,800
Creme Brulee there
with Voodoo Lady,
409
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,520
from the album Just Desserts,
410
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,280
still available on mail order -
411
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,200
the address coming up
at the end of the show.
412
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,680
Now, we all remember
the long, hot summer of '76.
413
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,480
Ladybird invasions.
414
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,760
Tiger sharks
off Brighton beach.
415
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,40
Blokes in the park charging
£1 for a can of Pepsi-Cola.
416
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,880
But | wonder
what Creme Brulee were up to.
417
00:19:51,00 --> 00:19:52,160
Well, we were...
418
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,560
They were Dreaming Of Memphis.
419
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,800
(TWANGY GUITAR MUSIC)
420
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,440
(ALARM BUZZES)
421
00:20:27,40 --> 00:20:28,560
(HORN BEEPS)
422
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,800
No, honestly, Simone,
she'll be fine with us...
423
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,720
(IN BABY VOICE) ...won't you,
Jade?! Yeah!
424
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,120
You go to hospital. I'm sure
you'll be all right. Ta-ra!
425
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,680
(IN BABY VOICE)
What are you doing?
426
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:45,800
(GURGLING)
427
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,320
(IN BABY VOICE) Right, let's
get you sat down here, then.
428
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,120
- Shift that!
- What?
429
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,560
- All of it.
- (SIGHS)
430
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,840
(IN BABY VOICE) He shouldn't be
doing that in here, anyway,
431
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,320
should he, Jade? No!
432
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,120
| hope she's paying you
to do this.
433
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,160
This is your Uncle Charlie,
Jade.
434
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,160
- Say hello, Charlie.
- Hello.
435
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,760
Oh, speak properly.
436
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,880
Hello. Hello, Jade.
437
00:21:10,00 --> 00:21:12,80
Uh, pleased to meet you.
Sorry, I've got wet hands.
438
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,640
Oh, Charlie, she's not a dog.
439
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,480
Her mother is.
440
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,960
Don't listen to him, Jade.
He's a silly man, in't he?
441
00:21:21,80 --> 00:21:22,560
Yes, he's a silly man!
442
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,400
Ooh, yes, yes, I'm a silly man,
Jade.
443
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,920
| only work six days a week
444
00:21:27,40 --> 00:21:28,360
to keep a family together,
don't |?
445
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,400
He called it a family, Jade!
It's not a family!
446
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:32,960
He couldn't care less,
could he?
447
00:21:33,80 --> 00:21:34,720
Oh, shut up!
448
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,40
When you grow up, Jade,
449
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,240
don't let a big bad man like
Charlie put his winkie in you.
450
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,880
They've got you then.
That's how Charlie got me,
451
00:21:41,00 --> 00:21:43,600
and that was the end
of my life.
452
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,440
I'll just go
and get your bock-bock, Jade.
453
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,240
And | want that lot shifted!
454
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,440
(SPLOSH)
455
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,40
She's lying, Jade, because...
456
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,600
...Well, there's many reasons
why a mummy and daddy fall out.
457
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:01,760
You know that!
458
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,440
| work my frigging arse off -
459
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,880
sorry, Jade -
but what does she do?
460
00:22:06,00 --> 00:22:08,960
She gambles - fruit machines,
Jade, scratchcards.
461
00:22:09,80 --> 00:22:10,320
She's known for it.
462
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,120
Don't listen to him, Jade.
He's a big fat liar.
463
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,520
Oh, oh, I'm lying, am |, Jade?
464
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,960
Well, what are all these, then,
eh?!
465
00:22:18,80 --> 00:22:19,80
- Give me them.
- No!
466
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,360
Stuffed behind the bread bin,
eh? Eh, Jade?
467
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,120
There not mine, Jade!
They must be Julie's.
468
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,520
Jade knows!
469
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,120
No, honestly,
they must be Julie's.
470
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,200
Jade knows,
and she's disgusted with you.
471
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,720
Well, I'm sorry, Jade.
472
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,120
It's just that I'm stuck
in the house all day,
473
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,720
I've got nowt
to look forward to.
474
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,520
Jade doesn't want your excuses.
475
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,120
It's too late, Jade.
| hate the guts of him.
476
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,160
She don't mean that, Jade!
477
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,640
You know
| can't see colour!
478
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,840
- Please, Jade!
- Jade, please!
479
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,280
(JADE CRIES)
480
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,680
Aw...
481
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,80
She misses her mummy.
482
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,560
Shall | go
and warm her bock-bock?
483
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:51,800
If you would, Charlie.
484
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,880
(YELLS)
485
00:23:01,00 --> 00:23:02,960
(ALL MURMUR INCOHERENTLY)
486
00:23:09,40 --> 00:23:10,80
Are we playing for money?
487
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,560
That's the only way to play,
Doc.
488
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,80
Would you like
to do the honours, young man?
489
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,40
- Thank you, young sir.
- Right, what's it to be, then?
490
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,160
Um... Knockout whist.
491
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,760
Oh, knockout whist?!
| think not, Doc.
492
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,560
Let's have a round of...
slippery Jack.
493
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:24,960
Excellent, sir, excellent.
494
00:23:25,80 --> 00:23:27,280
Uh, I'm afraid | don't know
how to play that one.
495
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,760
You don't know slippery Jack,
Doc?
496
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,560
Doc doesn't know slippery Jack,
Mike.
497
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:31,760
You don't know slippery Jack,
Doc?
498
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,00
All right, let's have a round
of, er, 40 card drag.
499
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,800
40 card drag? Is that the one
that's a bit like poker?
500
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,40
(CHUCKLES) Don't you know
any card games, Doc?!
501
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,240
Yes - whist, knockout whist,
rummy, pontoon...
502
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,480
No, come on, let's have a game
of go, Johnny, go, go, go, go.
503
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,240
- Fine idea, young man.
- I'll just sort through these.
504
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,760
Look, | don't know
how to play that one, either.
505
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,880
Everyone knows
go, Johnny, go, go, go, go.
506
00:23:52,00 --> 00:23:53,560
- | don't.
- You do!
507
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,880
It's like a cross between
hoover and eight men down.
508
00:23:57,00 --> 00:23:58,640
Well, | don't know
how to play those, either.
509
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,400
- (CHUCKLES)
- It's all right.
510
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,560
We'll just have to explain
the rules to you, then, Doc.
511
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:03,600
It's very simple.
512
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,840
Jacks are worth ten,
kings are worth three.
513
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,480
Apart from one-eyed jacks,
which are wild cards.
514
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,920
Yeah, but we'll come to those
in a minute.
515
00:24:09,40 --> 00:24:10,120
Round one,
you get a hand of nine.
516
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,240
Round two - a hand of seven.
517
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,640
- Now, twos are wild cards.
- We'll come to those.
518
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,240
Apart from diamonds,
which retain their face value.
519
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,960
Except the king of diamonds,
obviously.
520
00:24:17,80 --> 00:24:19,920
Obviously. We play in sequence
unless you can match a pair
521
00:24:20,40 --> 00:24:22,840
or play a card in ascending
or descending order.
522
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,680
If you can, that's
a go, Johnny, go, go, go, go.
523
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,480
You stand up, put all
the cards on the table,
524
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,320
shout,
"Go, Johnny, go, go, go, go!"
525
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,320
Winner is the man with
the most tricks after 15 hands.
526
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,00
You'll pick up the rest
as we play.
527
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,320
Shall we say £1 a round?
528
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,920
I'm not really sure
how to start.
529
00:24:37,40 --> 00:24:39,160
Well, just put a card
on the table.
530
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:40,400
Um...
531
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:41,840
Come on!
532
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,720
Hurry up, Doc!
533
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,280
A three?!
534
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,240
You can't lead with a three!
535
00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:51,640
This is go, Johnny,
go, gO, gO, go,
536
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,640
- not bamalama-fizz-vaj!
- Sorry.
537
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,160
(SIGHS) Start again.
538
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,800
She says, "I can't buy that -
it's all covered in doings."
539
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,920
| says, "How much more
free-range do you want?"
540
00:25:01,40 --> 00:25:03,120
(ALL LAUGH)
541
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,400
(FRONT DOOR OPENS)
542
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,40
Oh, this'll be Maurice.
543
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,920
Mm. About time.
544
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,200
Maurice! We'd almost given up
on you!
545
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,800
Sorry I'm late, Hilary.
546
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,720
Oh, the lot of a magistrate!
547
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,760
The bench has to come first,
you know.
548
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,480
All right, Judge Jeffreys!
Sit down.
549
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:27,200
Right, now we're
all finally convened...
550
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,320
As my special customers,
551
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,760
- you're no doubt...
- (DOOR OPENS)
552
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,40
Hiya!
| was just parking the car.
553
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:37,960
Right.
554
00:25:38,80 --> 00:25:40,880
Eunice, an unexpected pleasure.
555
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,00
Sam, would you like
to get Eunice a drink?
556
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,80
Would you like a sherry?
557
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,880
Maurice,
do you have a moment?
558
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,840
Are you out of
your fucking mind?!
559
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,960
What do you mean?
560
00:25:58,80 --> 00:25:59,840
How much does she know?
561
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:01,480
Just the basics.
562
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,400
Ho! Just the basics!
563
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,280
| thought
she could come in on it.
564
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,440
Get rid of her, Maurice.
565
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,920
Does this mean you want me
to get rid of the others, too?
566
00:26:14,40 --> 00:26:15,80
What others?!
567
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,200
Eunice's brother-in-law
and the kids.
568
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,200
They're all parked outside
in a Maxi.
569
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,440
(STAMP)
570
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,280
Get out, Maurice.
571
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,280
Ooh,
is this what | think it is?
572
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,720
- It's lovely!
- Yeah, come along, Eunice.
573
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,400
What do you mean?
We've only just got here!
574
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,360
Yeah, well, I-l-l left the door
on the latch.
575
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,720
You never did.
576
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,640
- Anyway, | can stay.
- Ugh, come on!
577
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,520
Well?
578
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,40
| think we may have to
take steps.
579
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,400
(CAR DRIVES OFF)
580
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,880
BOTH: Hmm...
581
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,920
Vely intelesting, Mr Bond!
582
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:11,400
Huit.
583
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,880
Ace in the hole.
584
00:27:22,40 --> 00:27:23,440
Ten.
585
00:27:27,00 --> 00:27:29,200
- What?
- Come on, Doc.
586
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:30,480
What?
587
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,880
Well, that's a go, Johnny,
go, go, go, go.
588
00:27:33,00 --> 00:27:35,40
- Is it?! Oh, great!
- Well, you can't touch ‘em!
589
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,520
Why not?
590
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,720
You gotta say, "Go, Johnny,
go, go, go, go!"
591
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,40
- Go, Johnny, go, go, go, go.
- Have to stand up first.
592
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,80
Yeah, and say,
"Go, Johnny, go, go, go, go."
593
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,800
Go, Johnny, go, go, go, go!
594
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,320
- Right, now name your pairs.
- What?
595
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,80
- Name your pairs!
- You didn't say anything
596
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,760
- about naming pairs!
- You put down a three.
597
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:50,960
- Yes.
- If you put down a three,
598
00:27:51,80 --> 00:27:52,680
- you must have pairs.
- Why must | have pairs?!
599
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,320
Cos that's a go, Johnny,
go, go, go, go.
600
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,640
- Oh...
- Well, you can't look at 'em!
601
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:56,760
I'm supposed to remember them?
602
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,520
- That's the whole point.
- Look, jacks are worth ten,
603
00:27:58,640 --> 00:27:59,640
kings are worth three.
604
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,120
Apart from one-eyed jacks,
which are wild cards.
605
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,200
Look!
606
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,960
Why can't we just play
something simple?
607
00:28:07,80 --> 00:28:08,480
And why do we
only ever play things
608
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,800
that you two know the rules of?
609
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,760
It was like this when
we were kids.
610
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,200
You used to put bets
on bloody Buckaroo!
611
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:16,920
Why can't we just play...
612
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:19,400
..angman...
613
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,240
...or something?
614
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,920
BOTH: Ooh...
615
00:28:28,40 --> 00:28:31,400
- All right, Doc.
- Whatever you say, Doc.
616
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,00
Hangman it is.
617
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,480
Hangman - sounds good to me.
618
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,520
- I'm sorry, l...
- Oh, it's all right. Hangman.
619
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,720
Are we playing Canadian rules
or Italian?
620
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,880
ROSS: Pauline,
what if nobody comes?
621
00:28:47,00 --> 00:28:48,600
PAULINE: Oh, shut up, Ross.
622
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,320
Stop hogging that duvet.
41014
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