All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S04E13.1080p.WEB

- Previously on Boston Legal.
- Jerry, what's wrong?

It's a "DearJohn" letter from Leigh.
She's leaving me for an iPhone.

Leigh is-well, I believe
the American term- a total nut job.

Would you like to
give us a try again?

- I don't know what to say.
- How about yes?

I'm surprised at you, Shirley. Your fairness compass
is always spot-on. It's fritzing out here.

- We're now having a fight?
- Which you're losing, and that bothers you.

I don't know, Denny.
Maybe Shirley and I aren't right for each other.

- Shirley.
- Ah, Carl. Still alive. Well...

That's mature.

- Leigh, hello.
- Hello.

Um, I'm afraid Jerry's
not here at the moment.

Actually, I came to see you.
Hello.

Hello.

Jerry and I have endeavored
to get back together.

Yes, I heard.
That's wonderful.

Is it? Well, that would seem at odds
with some of your reflections...

which you shared with Jerry
during our brief estrangement period.

I'm sorry?

Jerry shared with me
that you encouraged him to forget me.

You said he could do much better than me,
given that I'm a weirdo.

Well-
[Clears Throat]

That wasn't- that wasn't
exactly the expression I used.

No. You said "nut job."

L-Jerry was in pain.

I was simply trying
to make him feel better.

Is that something that tends
to lift a person's spirits?

- Calling others nut jobs?
- I apologize. I just...

I don't want you sharing
an office with him any longer.

- I beg your pardon?
- Moreover, I don't want you talking to him.

With all due respect, Leigh,
I don't think you have the right to ask that.

Oh. Let me demand it then.

If you talk toJerry,
I may have violent urges.

I assure you
you don't want that.

Stay away from my man, Katie.

That's my last warning.

- Shirl?
- Andrea. How are you?

- Oh, you know me. Causing trouble.
- What now?

- Well, I'm suing my town.
- Asbestos?

- Did that.
- Power lines?

- Keep going.
- Hazardous waste?

All right, here's a clue.
Am I glowing? That's right.

My wonderful little town of Belmont Falls
wants to build a nuclear power plant.

I want to enjoin them.

Andrea, do you have
to take up every cause?

- It makes me feel sexy. Horny too.
- Hello.

Is he any good?

Not bad actually.
But a sprinter.

- How much notice do you need?
- Ready now.

- What do you got?
- Mad cow.

Condoms?

Denny Crane.
To serve... and protect.

- ## [Funk]
- ## [Man Vocalizing]

[Man]
#Uh-huh #

# All right #

# Come on #

# Come on All right #

# Well, yeah #

# Well, yeah #

# Outlaw ##

[Knocks]

You're smoking!
Why didn't you call me?

Alan, I just had sex with a stranger.
Didn't even get her name.

She was phenomenal.
And I didn't have to pay for it.

- When did this happen?
- Ten minutes ago. Right here.

You had sex 10 minutes ago?

Finished nine minutes ago.
I was incredible.

- Alan.
- Denny just had sex.

Glad to hear it. I could use you
on a pretty important case if you're free.

- Actually-
- Thank you. We're meeting in the conference room A.S.A.P.

Still aroused if you want in.

Rain check.

I love it when
I don't know their names.

The biggest thing going for you
is their start-up costs.

Nuclear power plants typically take up
to four billion just to get off the ground.

Public opposition and red tape
can sometimes double that.

But you can assume they've already
spent millions just getting this far.

Wow. Now I really am glowing.

Andrea Michele, the client. I'm told it's
all about keeping the customer happy here.

- You are?
- This would be Alan Shore.

Give me one week
and I'll get rid of that baby fat.

I'm rather fond of my baby fat.

- Great. Then you'll love mine.
- [Shirley] Uh, Andrea.

- Can we just get serious about this case for a minute?
- Oh, I'm very serious.

- Where shall we go to discuss it?
- How about my desk?

Well, well, a little windmill tilting.
How fun. Don't get up.

Looks painful.
Shirley, you still look fantastic.

Cream and sugar for me.
Jack Ross.

Don't speak. It'll ruin it for me.
You would be the client.

- Jack?
- You remember. And here I thought it was just physical.

You heard me say cream and sugar, right?
This is for you, Shirley, because I care.

- What is it?
- Well, I would call it a righteous complaint...

suing Ms. Michele
for defamation and libel.

You might characterize it as a SLAPPsuit
designed to send a message...

to other potential plaintiffs,
"it'll cost them. '"

Okay. Tea then.

Does the old guy talk?

You used to be taller.

Uh, everybody out now, please.

Except you, Jack.
You stay. Go.

He's cute.

Tell a friend.

Still trying to impress me
after all these years?

- I am. Did I?
- Maybe a little.

I meant the part about you
still looking fantastic.

Thank you.
Can we talk about this case?

Fine. I'm about saving the planet.
What are you up to?

- With nuclear energy?
- Well, you're not gonna get it done driving your hybrid.

You do drive one, I hope?

- How have you been?
- I've been good.

- How many kids?
- Six. All of them great. Kim's doing well.

- She still teaching?
- She is. And what about you?

How are all the spouses?

Funny. I'm between husbands
at the moment.

Well, if I were single...

I have to say...

I am very happy to see you still tilting
at windmills, Shirley.

See you in court, Jack.

It's a date.

- Morning.
- Morning, Jerry.

- That's quite a tie.
- Leigh picked it.

- She likes bow ties.
- Leigh paid me a little visit this morning.

- She did?
- Other than demanding I not speak to you...

and her threatening me with violence,
it was quite a pleasant encounter actually.

- Excuse me?
- She's quite cross that I called her a nut job.

What possibly possessed you
to tell her I said that, Jerry?

- Well-
- Here I am...

trying to mitigate some of your pain
and you repeat my words.

It was a betrayal, Jerry.

I'm sorry.
I don't know why I shared that.

I was not trying to alienate
you from her. I promise.

How dare she enter my office...

demand I stop communicating with you,
threaten me physically?

She's not a well person.

I'll speak to her.

So, Jack Ross?

Hmm. Small world, I guess.

No, Shirley.
It's a big world actually.

The fact that you seem to have
had sex with everybody in it...

That isn't nice.

So, what's the story with him?

We went out in law school.
That's about it.

- A nuclear bomb?
- [Laughs]

- In Belmont Falls?
- A nuclear power plant, Judge.

A small difference
if you're into details.

One destroys the planet.
The other saves it.

Too much minutiae?
I can take criticism.

One for yes. Two for no.

- I think he loves me.
- That's enough!

Mr. Shore, start your case.

- And make it quick.
- I'll make it very quick.

A nuclear power plantjeopardizes health
and safety of everyone in Belmont Falls.

Actually it doesn't.
But don't let the facts stop you.

Let me call a witness, Judge.
I can tell you everything you need to know.

- 1:00.
- Wait! It's my motion!

1:00. We're adjourned!

Look, nothing personal.
Client wants me to put on a show.

I promise underneath all the bluster
I'm a complete ass.

Well, it's 10:30 now.

We don't have to be
back until 1:00.

What do we do in the meantime?
And I mean the entire meantime.

Did you actually say those things?

I did.

I have no excuse.
Jerry, I'm deeply ashamed.

- I don't understand.
- I feel hugely threatened by her.

- I get this vibe.
- What vibe?

That you like her.

That if she were available,
you'd prefer her. Would you?

No! Katie is a friend and a colleague.
Nothing more.

I'll apologize. I'm so sorry.

Nuclear power plants.
There's a blast from the past.

- You're glowing.
- Funny.

No, really. You're glowing.

You've had sex?

I have actually.
[Laughs]

Tell me.

Her name is Andrea. She's...

This woman is completely untamed.

She brought out the degenerate
in me I so miss.

I felt liberated.
I got to be everything...

I and others so loathe
about myself.

- [Laughs]
- [Laughs]

- First I had stranger sex. Now you with, uh, Andrea.
- Yes.

Oh, it's like sharing.

It's almost as if we had sex
together in a way.

Almost.

Alan, I want to ask you something.
I've never done this before.

You probably have.
But l-I haven't.

[Laughs]
I don't like where this is going.

Alan, I've always wanted
to do a little swinging.

And it sounds like our girls
would go for it.

I'm afraid seeing you naked
could make me...

Well, it could be in the dark.

- Even so.
- Well, different rooms.

Come on, Alan.

Once, before we go, let's swing.

[Nervous Chuckle]

Katie?

Jerry told me about your conversation
and I feel just awful.

- As well you should, I must say.
- Yes.

Had I known that you were
such a wimpy little crybaby...

I never would've bothered
with you, I promise.

Anyway, forJerry, I'm apologizing.

Other than that,
watch your back.

A nuclear power plant
is actually very simple.

We boil water to create steam
to turn a turbine to make electricity.

But instead of burning fuel
to generate heat, we use nuclear fission.

- What about greenhouse gases?
- None.

- Acid rain? Urban smog?
- None. None.

It's one of the greenest ways we can go.

Is it safe?
We all remember Chernobyl.

Our nuclear power plants
have multiple layers of security...

and a high level of
operational performance.

Boy, I'm sure glad you showed up.
You seem to have all the answers.

I love people who have all the answers.
Don't you, Judge?

Uh...

Of course, we've had
all the answers before.

In 1925, the International
Commission on Radiological Protection...

set the radiation exposure
limit at 100 rem per year.

Anything under it was safe.
We now know they were wrong.

- Yes.
- And in 1934...

the National Council
on Radiation Protection...

set the standard
at 36 rem per year.

Positive that was safe.
And we now know that's also way too high.

In fact, the acceptable level
of radiation...

keeps getting reduced
the more and more we learn.

Good thing, I guess, we now know everything.
Wouldn't you agree?

Nuclear power plants are safe.
I know that.

Yes. Unless there's a design flaw...

or human error, or unsafe procedures,
or a terrorist attack.

- I try to deal with probabilities, not-
- Really?

I lean towards certainty
when being even a tiny bit off...

could wipe out hundreds
of thousands of people.

You want a certainty?
Global warming is killing us.

- Unless we explore new ways-
- How about solar power?

- That's good. But not enough.
- All right. All right. All right!

I'd like to hear
from Ms. Michele, please.

Well, it's a good thing
I was almost finished.

Um, Your Honor, would it be possible
for me to testify from here?

- Why?
- Well, this is very embarrassing.

But, um, I would just feel more comfortable
with a little distance from you.

I'm deeply attracted to you.
And my flirting can sometimes-

I don't want to do anything that would make
you think that I don't take this case seriously.

Shame.

You need to tone it down.

- Why? Was I inappropriate?
- Andrea.

Ooh, there he is. I can't wait to be
cross-examined by you. Don't be gentle.

- [Laughs]
- Andrea.

So, Jack, here to settle?

You remember The Old Bailey
in Harvard Square?

Gee, how could I?
We only ate there seven days a week.

It's still open.

The hamburgers are rumored
to be just as good. What do you say?

Carl. Uh, Jack and I werejust talking
about grabbing a bite later.

Remember The Old Bailey?
You want tojoin us?

I'd love to.
But, um, you two go ahead.

- You never said he was funny.
- [Laughs]

[Laughs]

So, Jack, can I see the photos
of these kids you keep bragging about?

Well, it took you long enough.

Ah, let's see. There's Steph.
Looks just like her mother.

Oh, God.
She's beautiful.

Yeah, she is.
And, uh, here's Michael.

Also looks like Kim.
Also beautiful.

I wonder if they're really mine.

I'm having trouble believing this.

- I promise you, Jerry. I wouldn't make it up.
- "Watch your back."

- Her exact words. She's a bit off, I'm afraid.
- I'll talk to her.

Please don't head butt her.

- Is there any chance you could've got it wrong?
- None.

I'm all for saving the planet. But sorry,
I don't feel like getting cancer in the process.

And do you have any evidence
that you would?

Oh, come on. Radiation? Even this
administration's scientific commissions...

which don't include
any scientists, I admit...

say that there are risks,
and they're pro-nuke.

Hello.

And yet many environmentalists
are for them, are they not?

Yeah. But I doubt they want to live near them.
And there's just as many that are against them.

By the way, and I don't mean to get
political here, how can our administration...

can claim on the one hand that there
are terrorists out there, be afraid...

and on the other hand be pro-nuke
when it should be obvious to anyone...

that you build these plants,
you multiply by a thousand...

the risk of nuclear
weapons proliferation?

All right. Just one weekend on the Vineyard.
Don't make me bark for it.

Have you read the E.P.A.'s
report on nuclear power plants?

- The fix is in at the E.P.A. Everybody knows that.
- Take that as a no.

- What about the Nuclear Regulatory Commission's report?
- I'm waiting for the movie.

How about the National
Academy of Science?

Sweetie, I'll be happy to swap reading lists.
Just fax them to me on the Vineyard.

I'll be with Judgie. In the meantime,
I don't care who writes what.

I don't want a nuclear reactor
in my neighborhood.

Do you?

She makes for a good witness.
But, uh, we can't just go away.

This is billions of dollars
of research and development.

Just pick another locale,
far away from Andrea.

Hmm. Something tells me
Andrea gets around.

Besides, there is no other place.

It's either too residential,
or commercial district, or it's a park.

We tried a swamp.
It was protected as wetlands.

There are 60 acres of nothing
in Belmont Falls. Why are you smiling at me?

I'm just remembering all our dreams
in college. How idealistic we both were.

- Now look at us.
- What?

We're arguing cases we
both strongly believe in.

Is there some law that it's wrong
to fight for principles...

and make a fortune while doing so?

There must be.

These burgers
are just as good at least.

Hey, we're just as good. Better.

Seriously. Other than some minor
physical depreciation, we-we think better.

We have a maturity that gives
us perspective. We love better.

We appreciate what's really important.
We're at our peak.

Like autumn foliage,
just before all the leaves fall off.

[Laughs]

You have any regrets, Jack?

Well, I was hoping you did,
being the one who left.

You seem happy.

These hamburgers are just
as good, aren't they?

Am I getting my ass whipped?
Not that I don't like that.

We have a tough case, Andrea.

Also, I'm not entirely sure it helps for you
to be inviting the judge to the Vineyard.

You're right.
Let's you and I go.

I have a close friend...

who's proposed...

[Sighs] A ridiculous idea.

[Laughs] Swinging.

It just sounds absurd.

But I admit, l- I speak from ignorance
'cause I've never done it before and-

Who's the friend?

Uh, Denny Crane.
He's a- a lawyer here.

- Is he now?
- Not that you would ever consider, of course.

My vine or yours?

- Really?
- I shock you?

Not yet. But I'm hoping.

[Shirley]
Well, it's late and I'm a little bit drunk.

- And I have to be in court in the morning.
- I do, too, remember?

No. You've been such a wallflower.
I forgot you were even on this case.

[Laughs]

Does your wife know you're out
with me tonight?

She does, actually.

I'm too old and too smart
to lie about matters.

Why are you looking
at me like that?

Well, sometimes I'm too old and
too smart to speak the truth.

You still play the piano?
There's a piano over there.

- You trying to get rid of me?
- L- I am, actually.

Plus I always loved hearing you sing.

Okay. A song it is.

[Grunts]

- Any requests?
- Scotch.

[Laughs]

[Groans]

[Sighs]

# Once upon a time #

#A girl with moonlight in her eyes #

# Put her hand in mine #

#And said she loved me so #

# But that was once upon a time #

#Very long ago #

# How the breeze #

# Rustled through her hair #

# How we always laughed as though #

#Tomorrow wasn't there #

#We were young
and didn't have a care #

#Where #

# Did it go #

# Once upon a time #

#The world was sweeter
than we knew #

# Everything was ours #

# How happy we were then #

# But somehow #

# Once upon a time #

# Never comes #

#Again ##

Shirley?

Uh, one second?

Go get Alan.
Tell him we need to go.

[Sighs]
Probably isn't the best time.

But, um, I don't think it's working out.

What isn't working out?

Us. You, me- us.

I think maybe we should
take a little break.

What happened?

Nothing's happened. I just-
We can talk more about it later.

No. We'll talk about it now.

I want an explanation, please.

Look, Shirley. I adore you.
I think that you are a phenomenal woman.

But you and I are simply
not a match.

- Let's just leave it at that.
- No. Let's not leave it at that.

- What's going on?
- I told you. I want out.

Okay. You're fired.

What? For what reason?

I'll give you three.
First, I am pissed.

Second, the name of this firm is
Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

And third, I am Schmidt.
You're done.

- She denies it?
- She thinks you maybe misinterpreted it.

Yes. What part of"watch your back"
did I get wrong?

- Katie, is it possible-
- No, Jerry, it is not.

You have to admit what you're suggesting
is totally outside of Leigh's character.

What I'm suggesting?
So you don't believe me now?

No. It's not that I don't
believe you. It's just...

- Just what then?
- [Purrs]

[Grunts]
I think there's always two sides to every story.

And I'm wondering if it's possible that the truth
here lies somewhere in the middle.

It doesn't.
Your girlfriend's a psycho.

Americans are big babies,
Your Honor.

I will not have you attacking
this fine country of mine...

as we try to spread democracy
around the world.

The reason we want to give the world democracy
is so we can get back their oil in return.

But it's game over, Judge. We can't depend
on oil from other countries anymore.

I could say we should drill for our own.
But folks don't want to hear that either.

Tear up our own soil? Forget it. The problem with
Americans is we don't want to make sacrifices.

Well, we have to.
And if we truly wanna...

save the planet to rely less on petroleum
and reduce greenhouse gas emissions...

we simply have to commit
to the nuclear power industry.

Are there some risks involved?
Sure, like with everything.

There are bigger risks
in building nuclear bombs.

But we do so because
we consider them necessary.

Well, power plants are more so.
And they're viable.

We've already got 104 reactors in 66 plants
in the U.S., and we're not all dying of cancer.

In fact, since power plants
don't burn fossil fuels...

and send carbon dioxide
into the air...

we'll probably have less cancer
as a result of them.

But just because a few babies
saw China Syndrome...

or the word "Chernobyl'"pops up every
now and again in the Sunday crossword...

we panic at the mention.

Let's grow up.

Nuclear power will save lives,
money, energy, and the planet.

Already they produce one-fifth
of America's electricity.

In Vermont, maybe
our greenest state, it's 70%.

Still need a reason? How about this?
We have no choice.

Coal and oil supplies
are being exhausted.

One day they'll be gone.
We have no choice.

Sure we do.
There's solar energy, hydroelectric power.

And of course,
listening to Mr. Ross...

one is reminded of
the enormous potential of wind.

His closing argument alone I'm sure
could have fueled Hillary's electrolysis.

By the way, she's willing
to explore nuclear power.

As are Obama, Mitt, Rudy.
They all are, except Edwards.

It's in now to be pro-nuke.
Elle magazine says nuclear power is cool.

Am I the only one
who's scared to death?

The amount of radiation
we're talking about-

I mean, my dentist still flees the room
when he x-rays my teeth.

Any exposure is harmful.
Every scientist says so.

Not even the gifted
but gusty Mr. Ross can dispute that.

Radiation exposure causes cancer.

Within the plume
of Three Mile Island...

there was a three
to 400% increase in lung cancer.

A six to 700%
increase in leukemia.

Why the hell do you think they haven't
built one of these since the 1970s?

And do we all feel safe that nothing will go
horribly wrong? With our leaders in charge?

Where the hell is Condi to talk about
the big mushroom cloud when we need her?

And if the next suicide hijacker...

instead of pointing it at a high-rise,
aims for a power plant...

it's lights out, pun intended.

Which is why these nukes
are regarded by many security analysts...

as sort of pre-positioned weapons
of mass destruction.

The reactors' container domes are built
to withstand the impact of a jetliner.

Oh, balls! You don't need to be a genius
to know that a fully loaded jetliner...

would at least
crack the damn thing.

- Cause a massive radioactive-
- What are you? An engineer now?

At least have the decency to strap yourself
to a polygraph so we know which lie is which-

Silence!

Mr. Shore, would you wrap
it up, please? And quickly.

- One last thought, Judge.
- Thank God.

I'm going to skip over
the whole section...

I had on earthquakes
and proceed right to the waste.

These facilities will produce
tons and tons and tons-

[Sighs]
And tons and tons of nuclear waste.

Where should we store it?

Already we have 55,000
metric tons of the crap...

with no real idea
of what the hell to do with it.

Our best plan to date is
to just bury it somewhere.

Pump the radioactive stuff
back into the earth...

until one day the entire planet
will be full of it!

Like you.

- All right, I shall rule-
- I lied. We know where it'll go.

As other communities like Belmont Falls
hire lawyers to say "not in my backyard"...

and the likes of the Sierra Club keep
it out of the deserts and parks...

we know exactly where the waste will
eventually go- in the poor communities.

Just like they get the power plants, landfills,
and fast-food restaurants.

That's one of the wonderful
things about America.

The poor always get
what's coming to them.

Katie, hello.
Is Jerry around?

He is, actually. He's under my desk
licking my thigh at the moment.

That was dishonest of me.
I apologize.

I suppose it's not good to be dishonest.
Is it, Leigh?

- I'm feeling hostility.
- Are you now?

Jerry says you categorically
deny having told me to "watch my back."

Katie, I'm not gonna get into accusations
over who said what.

I was hoping you and I
could be friends.

Excellent. Um, how does one define
friendship in Leigh Swift terms?

Well, I would define it...

by you keeping your slutty,
well-traveled hands away from Jerry.

I would define it
by you not sticking...

your big, sloppy,
floppy breasts in his face.

And if you keep looking at me
like that, I'll punch your lights out!

Oh, want to run and tell now?

He dumped you?
Just like that?

Yes.

I don't want you
to be alone tonight.

- Damn it, Denny.
- Let me fill the void that I once gave so unselfishly to.

You'll stay away from my void.

Are you okay?

No. I'm just shocked, I guess.

Of all the childish...

Shirley, we say childish
when it's really...

just, uh, weak.

Sounds like Carl...

just can't handle all that
is Shirley Schmidt.

Whatever you need, Shirley.
A shoulder, a hug...

- an erection.
- [Laughs]

Seriously.

Whatever you need, I'm here.

I know that, Denny.

Which is the reason yours
is the office I came into.

- Where's Alan?
- He's meeting us at the courthouse.

Is there a cold draft in here, or...

Hello. What are you doing tonight?

- Whatever you have in mind.
- Whatever? No strings attached?

Strings? No. Vines?
Absolutely.

I would like to know why.

You and l...

You want somebody to complement
your life, Shirley...

as opposed to being part of it.

The word "soul mate"...

is as cliché as it is unrealistic.

Or so I thought.

And...

And I went to The Old Bailey.

And I saw you two.

What you had with Jack Ross...

you may very well still have.

You and I will never know.

Carl, what you and I have...

You deserve more.

And so do I.

If it's okay with you, I'm going
to assume I'm not really fired.

Leigh, hello. My, certainly
seeing a lot of you these days.

You see? That was hostile.
I think she covets you, Jerry.

- [Purrs]
- Actually, I'm in a relationship, Leigh.

I met the most wonderful...

understanding and funny iPhone.

So sleek and sexy, isn't it?

- I wouldn't know.
- And look at the lines on it.

You ever seen anything
so sensuous?

Hold it in your hand, Leigh.
It's fab.

She's trying to exploit
my disability, Jerry.

What kind of a person is this?

And the things you can download.
Check this out.

[Katie On iPhone] How does one define
friendship in Leigh Swift terms?

[Leigh On iPhone]
Well, I would define it by you...

keeping your slutty,
well-traveled hands away from Jerry.

I would define it
as you not sticking your big...

sloppy, floppy breasts in his face.

And if you keep looking at me like that,
I'll punch your lights out!

She tricked me.

She's a conniving bitch, Jerry.
She tricked me!

Leigh, I'm finding it
very difficult to believe you.

Jerry, I'm so sorry.

Why? Why must there be
so many bad people?

[Gulps]

Obviously nuclear
power plants pose risks.

People in Illinois are having big problems with
them leaking radiated water into the ground.

Wet dirt has also
been found in New York.

Why, somebody could get hold
of the waste and build a dirty bomb.

But no one can say for a certainty
that we'd all be safe.

But we can, as Mr. Bostick said,
"know for a certainty'"...

that unless we do something
drastic about global warming...

it won't be a mushroom cloud
that gets us in the end.

But all of this is secondary...

to the fact that my mother lives
in Belmont Falls.

- [Grunts]
- The injunction is granted.

And we're adjourned.

Proving over and over again
the law knows no logic.

- Okay, now I'm horny.
- Gee.

- Unbelievable. Got milk?
- Don't let me hold you two up.

- Okay, that wasn't fair.
- Yeah.

Life sometimes isn't.
Can I buy you a burger?

Uh, it's my oldest son's birthday.
So, uh, I'd suggest a rain check...

but I'm not sure
that's a good idea.

Probably not.

If only life came
with a "do over," you know?

- So good seeing you again.
- You too.

- Bye, Shirley.
- Bye.

I may have to appeal.

[Man] #Oh, my, my #

# So long #

# So long So long ##

I have to admit it.
I'm a little nervous. Are you?

Denny, I'm still
a little... unsure about this.

I'm not gonna commit to anything
until your girl gets here.

What are you talking about?
My girl is here.

No. I mean the one for me.
The one you were with the other day.

This is the one
I was with the other day.

- What? No. L-What?
- What?

Slutty me.

- Wait a second.
- I don't believe this.

So, wh-what I had with you
the other day...

Denny's leftovers.

- We can't swing with one.
- Why, of course we can.

[Groans]

I knew it was too good to be true.
There's no way.

We had the Red Sox and the Patriots
and a little swap action all in the same year?

Boys, not to worry.
I'm indefatigable.

[Groans]

## [Folk]

I should've known better than to expect
a good hamburger in peace.

[Laughs]

Denny told me. Sorry.

You know, Shirley,
maybe you and Jack Ross should...

He's happily married.

Oh.

Nuclear power plants,
global warming, wars.

They all seem quite trivial in the end
next to matters of the heart.

- Are you guessing, Alan?
- [Chuckles]

I've known love.
I may not play it well...

as a varsity sport...

but... I know love.

I thought you and Denny
were swinging tonight.

We were afraid her arms
would get tired.

- [Laughs]
- That, and l...

- Chicken.
- [Laughs]

I know that Denny
said he was there for you.

So am I.

Thank you, Alan.
I'm a big girl.

Yes. I heard in a song
somewhere they cry.

Sometimes.

Good night, Alan.

[Man]
#And when I return again #

# Have a great long story to tell ##

At least you got a little cheek action.
I walked away with nothing.

Why? I left you with Andrea.
Nothing happened?

I was too, uh, crestfallen.

- [Laughs]
- You know, maybe we should do, uh, a three-way.

It's the one thing you
and I haven't shared together.

[Groans]
Denny, I... really don't think I can be...

next to you in a bed
while you're naked and sweating.

And that's as far
as I can take the imagery.

I don't like the idea of you sneaking over
to see Shirley like that.

She's vulnerable. I should be the one
that takes advantage of that. Not you.

I think she's more than vulnerable.

She might be a little...
brokenhearted.

Not over Carl Sack...

but what could have been
with Jack Ross.

Ever notice how she goes for guys with one-syllable
names? Crane, Ross, Tiggs, Sack, Crane.

- You said Crane twice.
- That's 'cause she's not over me.

And never will be.

We need to look out
for her a little now.

There's many things in life
that are paramount, but...

being there for a friend in pain...

I'm- I'm- I'm glad you
went and checked with her.

Lovers come and go.
But friends...

not everybody has somebody like us.

No.

- Still want to swing, though.
- We'll swing.

The thing about life, you always have
to keep something on the "to do" list.

We'll swing.

- I don't like Shirley being on your "to do" list.
- Will you get over it?

- I'm just saying.
- Never mind.

[Woman]
You stinker!