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1
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,675
{\an8}[indistinct chatter]
2
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,970
{\an8}[Peggy Lee's "Show Me The Way
To Get Out Of This World"]
3
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,848
{\an8}♪ ♪
4
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,267
[indistinct chatter]
5
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:22,146
♪ ♪
6
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,399
♪ Show me the way
to get out of this world ♪
7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,110
♪ 'Cause that's where
everything is ♪
8
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,946
♪ If everything is goin',
I don't want to stay here ♪
9
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,906
♪ Who wants to stick around
and watch ♪
10
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:37,453
OK, 2, 11, 24,
you can go home, thanks.
11
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,413
All right, everybody else,
again, from the top.
12
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,497
No!
13
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,332
What is going on?
14
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,501
Auditions.
15
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,129
Every year, I hire performers
to dress as Christmas elves,
16
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,964
and they hand-deliver
my holiday-party invitations.
17
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,633
- How cute is that?
- You can't do that anymore.
18
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,886
- [sighs]
- It's really offensive.
19
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,138
These are working actors.
20
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:59,308
This is a legitimate gig.
I pay double the SAG rate.
21
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,309
It's still wrong.
22
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,811
- Why?
- Because... because...
23
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:06,648
I-I don't know.
I just woke up.
24
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,400
Can I have some time
to think about it?
25
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,527
Sure. You take your breakfast
to figure it out.
26
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,571
And if you can't, I never want
to hear about it ever again.
27
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,239
OK, everybody, from the top!
28
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,618
♪ ♪
29
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:21,371
5, 6, 5, 6, 7, 8!
30
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:24,458
♪ Show me the way
to get out of this world ♪
31
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,251
♪ 'Cause that's where
everything is ♪
32
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,921
Get those shoulders down.
All right.
33
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,632
Snap!
Think Fosse, snap!
34
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,343
{\an8}[upbeat funky music]
35
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,846
{\an8}♪ ♪
36
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:40,557
Let's go, Deborah.
You got it.
37
00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:41,683
Oh!
38
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,435
She's out of there.
39
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:44,603
OK, we've got Walt McCarthy,
40
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,688
owns 15 affiliate stations
in Missouri.
41
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:49,441
Conversation topics
include toasted ravioli,
42
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:52,194
doomsday prepping,
and Cardinals baseball.
43
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,154
McCarthy, Missouri.
McCarthy, Missouri.
44
00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:55,031
OK, got it.
45
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:59,535
Next up, we have Cort Moreau,
affiliates in Wisconsin
46
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,703
and southern Illinois.
47
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:04,081
Six kids, three cats.
48
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,083
Smelly house.
49
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,710
Oh. Ow.
50
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:11,839
Are you sure you should be
golfing with your ankle?
51
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,507
Can't you just emcee?
52
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,175
The whole reason I took
this emcee gig
53
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,094
was to have as much face time
as possible
54
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,887
with all the affiliate owners
who are playing the tournament.
55
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,097
They have a huge impact
56
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,140
on who the network picks
as the next host.
57
00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:23,892
I have to charm them
58
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:26,728
with personalized small talk
and golf humor.
59
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,731
By the way,
I need ten tasteful hole jokes.
60
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,025
- Card me.
- Marty Ghilain.
61
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:33,318
From the Palmetto?
62
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,237
He owns an affiliate
in Carson City.
63
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,447
His third wife
wanted to be a weather girl.
64
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:39,575
She was actually pretty good.
65
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:42,661
Don't judge a book
by her giant fake tits.
66
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,580
[whistles]
Bellissima.
67
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,624
[rock music]
68
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,252
♪ It takes sunshine
and rain ♪
69
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,421
♪ ♪
70
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,423
Gender-reveal parties
are literally disgusting.
71
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:58,594
- I'm surprised DJ invited you.
- I asked if I could come.
72
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,346
Ladies and gentlemen!
73
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,806
[cheers and applause]
74
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,850
Fighting out
of Las Vegas, Nevada,
75
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,268
please welcome
76
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:10,898
DJ "The Love of My Life" Vance!
77
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,984
- [cheers and applause]
- Yeah!
78
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:14,611
Ow!
79
00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,570
[loud pop]
80
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,406
- Oh!
- Oh, yeah!
81
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,782
It's a boy!
82
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:22,743
[coughing]
Boy!
83
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,411
Oh, Aidan, congratulations.
84
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:27,331
Mom, can you please say hi
to my family real fast?
85
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,082
- Yeah, sure.
- They're watching virtually.
86
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:31,084
Oh, of course.
Yes, of course.
87
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:32,544
Absolutely.
88
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:35,756
- Hi, Linda McClellan.
- [whispering] That's my aunt.
89
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,091
Aunt Linda.
Hi, how are you?
90
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:41,136
And Kathy V.
Who's Kathy V.?
91
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,722
Uh, that's...
that's Aunt Kathy.
92
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,308
Ah.
Mom!
93
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,601
What?
94
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,102
Look, I get that this
is super awkward
95
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,646
and she's the devil or whatever,
96
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,564
but I still have a relationship
with Aunt Kathy.
97
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,401
And I want her to have
a relationship with my son.
98
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,487
It's a boy.
99
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,405
Oh, God, all of his friends
are gonna think I'm hot,
100
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:01,990
and that might be weird for him.
101
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,367
Whatever.
We'll work through it.
102
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,535
What do you want me to say?
103
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,496
I didn't really want
to bring it up here,
104
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:09,831
but I would like to invite her
for Christmas.
105
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,667
Oh, you're insane.
Christmas is my holiday.
106
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,628
She can have 9/11.
107
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,421
We're the only family
she has left.
108
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,382
She doesn't have any kids.
She's all alone.
109
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,384
Yeah, well, if she wants
to talk to someone,
110
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,094
she can take a lap
around the mall.
111
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,720
- [sighs]
- The answer is no.
112
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:24,888
OK, whatever.
113
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,306
That powder
is most definitely toxic,
114
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:26,849
and it's in my throat.
115
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,852
[coughing, spitting]
116
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:31,688
Oh. Good girl.
117
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,147
[coughing]
Ugh.
118
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:37,192
[upbeat music]
119
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:41,697
♪ ♪
120
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:45,534
[indistinct chatter]
121
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,703
♪ ♪
122
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,037
- Thank you.
- Can I help with that, ma'am?
123
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:52,290
Oh, that's OK.
I can carry it. Thank you.
124
00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:54,710
Hey, I know you.
125
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:58,213
And I know you, Carter Walsh,
the Comms King of Kansas.
126
00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,798
[chuckles]
Hope you brought me
127
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,633
some of that brown bread
frozen custard, my friend.
128
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,427
Oh, it's gonna be a fun weekend.
129
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,387
- Oh, you know it.
- Can't wait to see you emcee.
130
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,556
- Ooh, rock chalk Jayhawk!
- [laughs loudly]
131
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,599
Hey.
132
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,184
[dramatic musical flourish]
133
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,520
But I'll never get
laser hair removal,
134
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:14,771
'cause it's impossible to know
135
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,566
where the culture's ultimately
gonna land on hairy pits.
136
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,484
- Like, in 2011...
- Oh, my God.
137
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,402
What?
138
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,487
Bob Lipka is here.
[gasps]
139
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,072
He must be playing
in the tournament.
140
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,073
Who's that?
141
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,616
He's the CEO of the conglomerate
142
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:27,743
that owns the network.
143
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:30,412
He's the most important voice
in picking the next host.
144
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,080
[gasps]
This is perfect.
145
00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:33,749
So there's a rich guy here
146
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,916
who you want to suck up to more
than the other rich guys?
147
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,252
- Mm-hmm.
- Whatever.
148
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,962
Billionaires shouldn't exist.
149
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,088
I used to have a pin on my
jean jacket that said that.
150
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,091
Oh, yes, extremely successful,
151
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,427
high-achieving people
must be stopped.
152
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,887
Well, they have no regard
for the livelihood
153
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,555
of the working class.
154
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:51,892
Bob Lipka and his wife
are huge philanthropists.
155
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:52,643
They give tons of money
to the Democrats.
156
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,603
Whatever.
157
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,731
Philanthropy is just
a fancy word for tax evasion.
158
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,107
- But we'll take the money.
- Mm.
159
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,610
He's even better-looking
in person.
160
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,403
Can I get you ladies
anything else?
161
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,946
Oh, I would love another coffee.
162
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:06,782
No, she wouldn't.
Just the check, please.
163
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,117
Sure.
164
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,119
We got two hours
before your tee time.
165
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,206
You never waited tables,
did you?
166
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,957
I was a hostess
at Joe's American Bar & Grill
167
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,335
at the South Shore Plaza,
168
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:21,463
but I was fired after one shift
for being too openly depressed.
169
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,257
You like to say
you're a woman of the people,
170
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:25,134
but you've never
actually been one.
171
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,302
If we park at this table,
our waitress
172
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,137
will not be able to turn
it over before the end
173
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:32,057
- of the breakfast shift.
- Well, I...
174
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,308
Yeah, you tried to take work
away from the little people
175
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,310
who deliver
my Christmas-party invitations.
176
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,021
You wouldn't let
the bellman carry your bags,
177
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:39,981
and he probably
lives on his tips.
178
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:40,650
And now this.
179
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,901
Oh, God.
180
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,319
I think you're right.
181
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,071
Let's go.
Let's go.
182
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:46,864
Come on, I got to clean my room.
183
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,115
[sighs]
All right.
184
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,866
Peter!
Aren't those eggs fluffy?
185
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,993
Go, Padres.
186
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,662
[funky music]
187
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,622
♪ If you ain't
getting your thing ♪
188
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,666
♪ Like you ought to be
getting your thing ♪
189
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:01,336
♪ Somebody else be getting
your thing for you ♪
190
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,838
Hey, you ready to get out there?
191
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:03,506
I am.
192
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:06,341
I have a request
about our group.
193
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,135
Way ahead of you
on that one, Deb.
194
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,636
I already asked him
to put us together.
195
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,388
Oh, I didn't mean you, but hi.
196
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:12,514
Hi.
[smooches]
197
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,391
Oh.
198
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,268
Anyway, if you could put
Bob Lipka
199
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,895
in our foursome,
I would really appreciate it.
200
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,939
Absolutely, Ms. Vance.
201
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,774
Uh, I'm gonna go stretch.
202
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,735
- I'll see you out there?
- OK.
203
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,405
[gasps]
Henry Morgan!
204
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,115
It's actually Morgan Henry.
205
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,701
No, uh, I know that.
I'm just a little bit dyslexic.
206
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,786
[laughs]
Hey, go, Tarpons.
207
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,205
But we've got to get you guys
a Major League team.
208
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,707
Oh, well, you know,
we have one, actually.
209
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:39,875
It's the Rays, so...
210
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,669
You could always use two.
[laughs]
211
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:45,797
All right.
OK, well, have a great time.
212
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,507
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
213
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,968
OK, I'm gonna head to my room
to work on your speech.
214
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,512
I cannot concentrate
with all your jock energy.
215
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:55,390
- No, you're gonna be my caddy.
- What?
216
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,850
You're gonna come and
drill me on those flashcards.
217
00:07:56,851 --> 00:08:01,062
- That can't happen again.
- OK. I'll do it.
218
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,814
- Really?
- Yep.
219
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,441
You don't want to just go
back and forth, back and forth
220
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,318
about it for a while
and then finally cave?
221
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:08,069
Nope, I accept.
You're right.
222
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,905
I haven't had a job
in the service industry,
223
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,282
and this will give me some
good time in a support role.
224
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,117
You are gonna be shocked
at how of the people I am.
225
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,411
Yeah, we'll see about that.
226
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:19,039
- You're soft.
- I am not.
227
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,958
You put sunscreen
on your hair part.
228
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:25,045
My doctor says I have to.
229
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,463
Also, you have to buy me
golf clothes.
230
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:30,550
[Chuck Conlon & The Crawlers'
"I Won't Tell"]
231
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:36,598
♪ A teaspoon
holds more than a fork does ♪
232
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,767
♪ ♪
233
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:42,896
♪ A long snail
eats more than a short one ♪
234
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,190
♪ ♪
235
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,610
♪ Let the people find out ♪
236
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:53,865
♪ For themselves ♪
237
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:57,369
♪ I won't tell them about it ♪
238
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,247
♪ ♪
239
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,458
Ooh. Sorry.
240
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,129
No, no, t-this one, this one.
Don't... just get...
241
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,507
Get that sock off for you.
242
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,759
OK.
You are good.
243
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,136
Go ahead, girl.
244
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:16,888
Ooh, Theo!
245
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,682
Gorgeous shot.
246
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,225
Love that belt, by the way.
247
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,310
I see what you're up to
this weekend.
248
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,561
Very shrewd.
249
00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:25,273
Just here to beat you at golf.
250
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,817
So how's the French whore?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
251
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,819
- I mean your lovely fiancée.
- She's good. Good.
252
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,156
We got a house in France, and
she spends the summer there.
253
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,158
She's there now?
254
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,077
Yeah, you know,
late spring through September,
255
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:42,163
October, November.
256
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:43,665
Long summers in France.
257
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,333
That's why the reception
is gonna be held in...
258
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,335
Oh, look, look, look, look.
That's Bob Lipka.
259
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,129
Oh, do I have anything
in my teeth?
260
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,006
Don't look. Check my teeth.
261
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:52,299
- No. Yeah.
- OK? OK.
262
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,176
Deborah Vance, the one and only.
263
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,803
- Bob Lipka.
- Bob Lipka.
264
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:57,430
- Yeah, I'm a big fan.
- Oh.
265
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,181
Thank you.
Of my comedy?
266
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:03,101
- Of your everything.
- Oh. [laughs]
267
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,686
Hey, Bob.
268
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,980
Marty! How you doing?
It's good to see you, man.
269
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,190
- Gonna be fun today.
- Yeah.
270
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,192
It feels like...
271
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,902
5 MPH over here.
272
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:15,363
Well, we're starting
downwind today, so...
273
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:20,243
Yeah, I think north
is in that direction?
274
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,369
Could be wrong.
275
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:22,579
Hey, I'm Ava.
276
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,539
I'm just filling in
as caddy today,
277
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:27,125
so I might be leaning on you
for some advice.
278
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,587
But, uh, yeah,
ready to carry some clubs.
279
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,130
You don't really carry them.
280
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,632
You put them in the back
of the cart.
281
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,719
Oh.
Huh.
282
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,512
Seems like the cart is a caddy,
and we're just doing theater,
283
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,724
but, uh, that's cool,
that's cool.
284
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,393
Also, your vest is on backwards.
285
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,062
Oh.
286
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:47,897
I like it like that.
287
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,898
Balenciaga.
288
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,066
You know.
289
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,567
It's fashion.
290
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,110
You golfed, I assume,
when you were there.
291
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,612
I did. We golfed...
I think we golfed two days.
292
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,613
- Oh, my gosh.
- The course was great.
293
00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:00,033
We're here for the kids,
but sure feels good
294
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,410
- to hit a good one, huh?
- What?
295
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,204
Oh, yeah, we missed it.
Sorry.
296
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,205
- Oh.
- Sorry.
297
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:07,249
- Oh, you're up.
- All right.
298
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,256
Ooh, nice distance
on that one, Bob.
299
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,341
Thanks, Deborah.
300
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,676
Not as far as mine, though.
301
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:19,595
You're up.
302
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,263
Oh, gosh.
Um, all right...
303
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,767
Good poke.
304
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,645
You have a really
buoyant form, Deborah.
305
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,105
[chuckles]
306
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,815
Hey, don't be afraid
to deepen that shoulder tilt.
307
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,567
Oh, right, thank you.
That's really good advice.
308
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,111
I'll try not to be too afraid.
309
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,237
[chuckles]
310
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:40,491
Yeah, she's really timid.
311
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,370
Nice!
[water splashes]
312
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,621
It was terrible.
313
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,582
Bob, you got to give me
some more pointers.
314
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,625
- All right.
- No, that was really helpful.
315
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,961
- I don't have that many.
- Thank you.
316
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:53,421
OK.
317
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:56,506
[upbeat music]
318
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,842
OK, that was solid,
but on the next one,
319
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,593
you're gonna want
to avoid the slope.
320
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,888
Or maybe you want to aim for
the slope so the ball rolls.
321
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,516
You definitely want to do
something with the slope.
322
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,352
The slope is a huge part
of our lives right now.
323
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,980
- [sighs] Flash cards.
- Right, right.
324
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,691
All right.
OK, go for it.
325
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,817
Oh, I know this one!
326
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,695
Flat-earther, loves boats.
327
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,573
Allegations against the son.
328
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,782
Barry Plutz!
329
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:24,285
- Correct!
- Whoo!
330
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,291
Miss, that's the men's tee.
331
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,417
The women's tee's further up.
332
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,794
Fuck that.
333
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,217
- Damn.
- Nice.
334
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:41,677
Sorry.
335
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,145
I'm in love.
336
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:57,233
Can I use the women's tee?
[laughter]
337
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,319
[upbeat funky music]
338
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,778
Hi.
339
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,156
Come on, come on.
Let's work this room.
340
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,992
Hey, Mr. 3 Under Par.
341
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:08,203
[laughter]
342
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,872
I love your politics.
Cheers.
343
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,290
Interesting stuff.
344
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,125
Don't tell anyone,
but you're my favorite.
345
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,460
Oh, so glad!
346
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,670
Can I offer you ladies cigars?
347
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,507
- Oh, we don't really...
- We'd love to.
348
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,050
Light 'em up.
349
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,427
You are funnier than Seinfeld!
350
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:25,595
[laughs]
351
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,596
It's a birthday video
for your grandniece?
352
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,264
Oh, sure.
Give me your phone.
353
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,767
I'll tell you what...
354
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,101
I'm rooting for you.
355
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,020
Oh, I like the sound of that.
356
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,397
[coughs, hacks]
357
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,942
It's a good one.
358
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,237
[gentle piano music]
359
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:46,074
♪ ♪
360
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,452
♪ Simple pleasures ♪
361
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,246
♪ Just to take the time ♪
362
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,123
A-and don't think I haven't
heard about your ski trips.
363
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,542
- What?
- What?
364
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,835
Renting out an entire floor
in Gstaad?
365
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,837
I couldn't decide
which view I wanted.
366
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:03,007
- Ah! [laughs]
- Seriously.
367
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:03,884
Also, a little birdie
told me that you
368
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,511
are on the alumni board
at Dartmouth?
369
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,971
- I sure am.
- Wow.
370
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,389
We were just there
for parents' weekend.
371
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,473
Aw.
372
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,766
The foliage this year
was stunning.
373
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,227
Oh, well, maybe you could put
in a good word for my grandson.
374
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:17,021
- Oh, I see, ulterior motives.
- Well...
375
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,899
- How old?
- He's due in about 20 weeks.
376
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,359
[laughs loudly]
377
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,987
Can't start too soon, right?
[laughter]
378
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,238
It's for the kids!
379
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,282
I'll do an interview.
380
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,784
For the kids!
381
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:33,788
What are you doing?
382
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,624
Looking for that gorgeous
golf queen from yesterday.
383
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,460
She's behind us today, dummy.
384
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:43,048
Whew.
Good looking out, boss.
385
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,930
There you go.
386
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,348
Not bad.
387
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,226
Well, thanks to you.
388
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:55,936
[whispering]
I remember you being
389
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,813
a better player than this, hmm?
390
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,941
I don't know
what you're talking about.
391
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,776
Hey, caddy girl.
392
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,613
You gonna clean up
that divot your golfer made?
393
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:07,989
Uh, oh, yeah.
394
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,699
Def.
[chuckles]
395
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:13,828
This divot officially
needs to be re-divoted.
396
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:14,038
Here.
397
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,333
Get on your knees.
398
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:22,170
[sultry music]
399
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:29,177
♪ ♪
400
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,178
That's it.
401
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,680
♪ ♪
402
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,349
All right, all right.
Calm down. Calm down.
403
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,350
All right, back to business.
404
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,353
Our next auction item
is a weekend of pampering
405
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:41,522
at the Canyon Ranch spa.
406
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,815
Ooh, I love that place.
407
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:46,027
As an added bonus,
I lost an emerald earring
408
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,904
in their saltwater plunge pool
last August.
409
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:48,864
If you can find it,
410
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,115
this package is worth
an extra 11 grand.
411
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,868
- [laughter]
- Give her a show!
412
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:56,746
Let's start
the bidding off at 2,000.
413
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,539
Anybody? 2,000?
2,000? Anyb...
414
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,583
2,000, this table right here,
this gentleman.
415
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,460
Wow, your own plane.
416
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,045
I could fly you
to Turks and Caicos.
417
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,632
And from there, you could go
wherever you needed to go.
418
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,217
What an offer.
419
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,843
Deborah!
Hi.
420
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:11,762
Hi.
421
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,554
[gasps] Glenn!
How you doing?
422
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:14,555
Good to see you.
423
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:15,932
Have you seen Bob?
He hasn't bid on anything.
424
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,393
I'm afraid I offended him
when I did that bit
425
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,478
eviscerating
the Michelin star system.
426
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,688
I knew that was too edgy
for this crowd.
427
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,690
I saw him sneak out after
you auctioned off the safari.
428
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,359
Was that a low-key rhino hunt?
429
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,568
Huh? No.
Yeah, maybe.
430
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:31,364
Don't go!
[sighs]
431
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,074
You have gorgeous hips.
432
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:36,202
[chuckles]
433
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:38,246
[soft elegant music playing]
434
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:43,376
♪ ♪
435
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,087
[indistinct chatter]
436
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,422
OK, the '96 Dom Perignon.
437
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,673
- Great.
- Great.
438
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,259
- Yeah? Are we celebrating?
- Yeah.
439
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,011
Hmm.
440
00:16:56,974 --> 00:17:00,476
[soft jazz piano music]
441
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,686
[sighs]
442
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,522
♪ ♪
443
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,607
Ah, Deborah.
444
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,025
Come here often?
445
00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:10,278
[chuckles]
Wow, two stand-up comedians
446
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,780
running into each other
at a golf club in Nevada.
447
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,657
[chuckles]
You must be like, what?
448
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:16,451
I just...
I flew up briefly for a...
449
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,454
Meeting?
450
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,455
Looked like it went well.
451
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,541
It did.
Yeah.
452
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,752
I didn't realize you saw.
453
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,587
[sighs]
You know what?
454
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:27,962
I'm glad I ran into you,
because I just...
455
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:31,132
I want to say I hope
there's no hard feelings.
456
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:35,595
And it would mean a lot if you
were one of my first guests.
457
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,056
You're welcome anytime.
458
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:41,976
♪ ♪
459
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:46,815
All right,
well, I'll leave you to it.
460
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,615
Whoa.
461
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,658
Black on black.
462
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:58,535
Billie Jean King.
463
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,120
It's not not working.
464
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,831
I'm not getting late night.
465
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:06,501
What?
What happened?
466
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:07,919
I saw Bob Lipka
meeting with Jack Danby.
467
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,672
- He got the job.
- Well, that's bullshit.
468
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:14,217
All right,
so w-w-what's our game plan?
469
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,510
Nothing.
470
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:16,886
I'll pay you
for your whole hiatus.
471
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,262
You can go back to LA
whenever you want.
472
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,348
No, we're not gonna give up.
473
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,934
It's happening.
474
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,936
And of course it is.
475
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,689
It was stupid of me
to even think I had a chance.
476
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,780
[sighs sharply]
477
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,200
Deborah...
478
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:39,701
I don't want to talk about it.
479
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,416
[light guitar music]
480
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:55,300
♪ ♪
481
00:18:57,135 --> 00:19:00,221
♪ I know we've been asking ♪
482
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:04,559
♪ For trouble, my Lord ♪
483
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,353
♪ I know that is trouble ♪
484
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:11,691
♪ You've headed us toward ♪
485
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:14,735
♪ Do what you're willing ♪
486
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:19,282
♪ But don't flash that sword ♪
487
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:23,077
♪ ♪
488
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:26,206
You might want
to loosen that grip a bit.
489
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,420
[grunts]
490
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,130
There she is.
491
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,757
[Freddie King's "Going Down"]
492
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:39,385
♪ ♪
493
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:40,970
[clears throat]
494
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,388
♪ ♪
495
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,599
Ooh.
496
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,101
♪ I'm going down ♪
497
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:50,771
♪ I'm going down, down,
down, down, down ♪
498
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,940
♪ ♪
499
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:53,983
I'll have a Corona, please.
500
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:57,778
Hey, Deborah,
can I buy you a cocktail?
501
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,989
I'll have a Gatorade Zero.
502
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,658
Yellow.
503
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:03,452
Thank you.
504
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:06,787
♪ ♪
505
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:09,498
Thanks.
Keep the change.
506
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:12,919
♪ Well, I'm going back
to Chattanooga ♪
507
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,338
♪ And sleep on sister ♪
508
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,506
I'll tell you what...
you are looking real confident
509
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,051
with that 9-iron.
510
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,052
You know?
511
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,971
You are just getting it done.
512
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,640
Hey, Deborah. Deborah.
I'm not... I'm not in yet.
513
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,642
I'm... Deborah.
514
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:34,775
{\an8}♪ ♪
515
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,489
Nice shot!
516
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,449
Would you get my ball?
517
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:49,246
♪ ♪
518
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:51,165
[sighs]
519
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:51,708
You want to go
to the restaurant,
520
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:53,751
get something to eat?
521
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,004
[sighs] I think I just
want to be alone.
522
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,927
[soft jazz music playing]
523
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:07,515
♪ ♪
524
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,557
- Hey.
- Hey.
525
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,685
Mind if I sit?
526
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:11,852
Sure.
527
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,980
Thanks.
[clears throat]
528
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,857
You're a white-wine girl, huh?
529
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:21,654
Not usually, but, um,
I wanted to try this.
530
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:24,949
- It's Cameron Diaz's company.
- Oh, good for her.
531
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,033
Is it good?
532
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,370
That's what I've been wondering.
533
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,288
What do you mean?
534
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:34,500
Like, isn't it bad
that the goal for actors now
535
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:38,713
is to, like, be good at art
so you can sell CBD lip balm
536
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,840
or whatever?
537
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,050
But then again,
actresses have historically had
538
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,219
their image monetized
without any control
539
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:46,554
over how that image was used.
540
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:49,056
So maybe if this gives them
more power and agency,
541
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:51,851
- it's a good thing.
- Great.
542
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:54,437
But then again,
doesn't capitalism
543
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:57,273
only ultimately benefit
evil rich white men,
544
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,899
regardless of who heads
any one company?
545
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:00,401
- So maybe it's bad.
- Well...
546
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:03,237
But also...
[chuckles] Who am I to judge?
547
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:05,407
I work for a giant
media conglomerate.
548
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,076
I'm just gonna go live
in the woods.
549
00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:10,620
On stolen land?
550
00:22:13,373 --> 00:22:14,041
- Oh, God.
- [chuckles]
551
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:15,583
You talk about this stuff a lot?
552
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,835
It comes up.
553
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:21,256
Mm, and she keeps you around.
She must really like you.
554
00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,093
Yeah.
555
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:31,557
[sighs] She found out
she didn't get the hosting gig.
556
00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:32,808
She's really upset.
557
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:34,018
Oh.
558
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,394
That's what today was about.
559
00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:39,732
Well, it's disappointing,
but she'll be all right.
560
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,067
I hope so.
561
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,860
I've known her a long time.
562
00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:46,655
And over these past couple
years, she's really changed.
563
00:22:46,656 --> 00:22:48,365
And I'm pretty sure
that's right about the time
564
00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:51,160
you showed up, kid.
565
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:53,621
Thank you for saying that.
566
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,831
Even though calling me "kid"
is incredibly infantilizing,
567
00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:58,043
it's also charming.
568
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:03,423
[cell phone plays French tune]
569
00:23:05,425 --> 00:23:06,384
Merde.
[chuckles]
570
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:10,180
I got to FaceTime
with a French wedding florist.
571
00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:12,307
Au revoir.
572
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:23,902
I don't think caddies
are allowed to drink up here.
573
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,987
Oh.
Sorry, sh...
574
00:23:26,988 --> 00:23:30,574
- I guess I'll leave.
- I think you should.
575
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,910
[glass thuds lightly]
576
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:33,787
And I think you should
come to my room.
577
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:41,628
♪ ♪
578
00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:47,092
[grunts]
579
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,656
[golf club thuds,
Deborah grunts]
580
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,077
Good evening.
581
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,371
I thought I better get in
some practice swings
582
00:24:17,372 --> 00:24:19,583
after you destroyed me
on the course today.
583
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:24,336
I had no idea you were so good.
584
00:24:24,337 --> 00:24:26,173
Nobody does.
585
00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:30,426
Where's your security?
586
00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:33,096
Oh, I put a mop and some
pillows under my blanket.
587
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,058
I was kidding.
588
00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:39,436
I gave him the night off.
589
00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:53,575
Mm.
590
00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,330
Ooh.
591
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:02,375
[sniffs]
Oh, yeah, you stink.
592
00:25:05,128 --> 00:25:07,421
[moans]
What... what was that?
593
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:10,841
I said you fucking stink.
594
00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:13,594
Did you not shower after you
carried those clubs all day?
595
00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:16,513
Hmm?
596
00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:19,934
Oh, uh...
[chuckles] I-I-I did.
597
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,769
I washed my hair, even.
598
00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:23,604
No.
599
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:26,358
I think you need a shower,
caddy girl.
600
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:32,238
Hold on.
Sorry.
601
00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:35,366
Um, I just want to be clear
about one thing.
602
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,077
Um, I'm not actually a caddy.
603
00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:41,163
What?
You were caddying.
604
00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:42,790
- Mm.
- Oh, my God.
605
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:46,502
Yeah. No, um, I-I was just
filling in for the weekend.
606
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,295
I actually work full-time
as a co-producer
607
00:25:48,296 --> 00:25:49,547
on a topical comedy
variety show,
608
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:52,007
which has been such
a cool experience...
609
00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:54,927
to use my comedy skills
to engage with real issues.
610
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,095
What?
611
00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:57,972
All right.
612
00:25:57,973 --> 00:26:00,808
Hold on. [chuckles]
Is that a deal-breaker for you?
613
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:03,602
Yeah. This entire situation
is fucked now.
614
00:26:03,603 --> 00:26:05,396
Well, wait.
615
00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,940
Were you only into me
'cause I was a caddy?
616
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:09,775
Yes.
617
00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:10,610
[scoffs] OK.
618
00:26:10,611 --> 00:26:13,153
Is this, like,
some weird power thing
619
00:26:13,154 --> 00:26:14,072
where you only wanted to fuck me
620
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:16,740
because I'm your
working-class subordinate?
621
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,659
- Kind of problematic.
- Oh, God.
622
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:21,036
Everything is so problematic
these days.
623
00:26:21,037 --> 00:26:23,330
What, are you gonna lecture me
on inclusivity,
624
00:26:23,331 --> 00:26:26,166
tell me how
I can't fund fracking?
625
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:27,043
Fra... fracking?
626
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:29,628
Are you a Republican?
627
00:26:29,629 --> 00:26:30,963
Obviously.
628
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:32,673
Oh, my God, that was not
on your flash card.
629
00:26:32,674 --> 00:26:36,302
It just said you were a mother
to two German shepherds!
630
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,636
What?
631
00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:40,723
You're a gay Republican?
How does that make sense?
632
00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:43,142
You're a co-producer
pretending to be a caddy.
633
00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:45,519
- How does that make sense?
- I don't know! It doesn't.
634
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,229
I was just trying
to be a good person,
635
00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:49,356
and ethical consumption
is fucking impossible!
636
00:26:49,357 --> 00:26:51,150
Where is my shirt?
637
00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:54,361
I was really looking forward
to pissing on a caddy.
638
00:26:54,362 --> 00:26:56,697
You were not gonna piss on me!
639
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:58,615
- Yeah, I was.
- No, you weren't.
640
00:26:58,616 --> 00:27:01,452
Yes, I was. I was going
to piss all over you.
641
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:02,412
You weren't gonna
piss on me, no.
642
00:27:02,413 --> 00:27:05,247
Oh, wow, a liberal kink-shamer.
643
00:27:05,248 --> 00:27:07,291
I thought you people were
supposed to be sex-positive.
644
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:08,209
Oh, my God.
645
00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:10,627
I would happily
let a socialist pee on me!
646
00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:12,755
Buh-bye, lady.
647
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,673
- [door opens]
- Your loss!
648
00:27:14,674 --> 00:27:15,842
[door closes]
649
00:27:22,557 --> 00:27:25,476
You know, people are probably
afraid to tell you this,
650
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:28,604
but your swing sucks.
651
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,481
- Really?
- Yeah, what do they call you?
652
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,941
Oh, yeah, Slice and Dice Lipka.
653
00:27:32,942 --> 00:27:33,902
Now, that's just mean.
654
00:27:33,903 --> 00:27:36,820
[chuckles]
655
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,073
OK, don't hold back.
656
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:40,407
Well, I don't know
where to start.
657
00:27:40,408 --> 00:27:42,701
I mean, just...
the way you address the ball,
658
00:27:42,702 --> 00:27:44,161
you got to keep your left foot
lined up with the club.
659
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:46,038
Which I do.
660
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,248
Turn your club face
a little bit.
661
00:27:48,249 --> 00:27:49,042
OK.
662
00:27:49,043 --> 00:27:50,542
And keep
your left arm straighter.
663
00:27:50,543 --> 00:27:52,419
All right.
664
00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:53,754
Like this?
665
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,214
Yeah.
666
00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:57,217
All right.
667
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:01,429
That was pathetic.
668
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:04,431
- Pathetic?
- Mm-hmm.
669
00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:07,101
Well, why don't you come
over here and show me?
670
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:09,603
Jesus Christ,
I got to do everything myself.
671
00:28:09,604 --> 00:28:12,648
OK, remember, you're not
playing fucking baseball!
672
00:28:12,649 --> 00:28:15,692
[exhales deeply, chuckles]
673
00:28:15,693 --> 00:28:19,322
[indistinct chatter]
674
00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,455
[clicks tongue]
675
00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:32,501
[indistinct chatter continues]
676
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,711
- Feel that?
- Yeah, I feel that.
677
00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:36,130
All the power
comes from your hips.
678
00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:38,298
And then your chest, your chest
679
00:28:38,299 --> 00:28:41,009
ends up like that, right?
680
00:28:41,010 --> 00:28:43,512
You follow
with your chest, like that.
681
00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:44,722
How about here?
682
00:28:46,224 --> 00:28:48,517
That works.
683
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:50,936
Yeah.
684
00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:52,688
I think so too.
685
00:28:52,689 --> 00:28:55,732
[gentle music]
686
00:28:55,733 --> 00:29:01,865
♪ ♪
687
00:29:05,076 --> 00:29:06,910
I think you already know this,
688
00:29:06,911 --> 00:29:08,162
but we made a decision
about the show.
689
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:10,539
I know.
690
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:13,584
[Leisure's "Got It Bad"]
691
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:15,836
♪ ♪
692
00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:18,547
♪ Girl,
you think you got it bad ♪
693
00:29:18,548 --> 00:29:21,842
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
694
00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:28,683
♪ ♪
695
00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:33,145
[birds chirping]
696
00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:37,066
[indistinct chatter]
697
00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:42,697
You dirty diva.
698
00:29:48,119 --> 00:29:48,703
Get it, Derba.
699
00:29:54,417 --> 00:29:58,045
Excusez-moi, Miss Thang!
700
00:29:58,046 --> 00:30:00,130
I saw you doing
the walk of shame this morning.
701
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:01,798
High five.
702
00:30:01,799 --> 00:30:02,509
I don't want to talk about it.
703
00:30:02,510 --> 00:30:05,302
Oh, come on.
What happened?
704
00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:06,846
Who happened?
Marty?
705
00:30:08,097 --> 00:30:10,557
Oh, no, Deborah,
not Bill Blort from Cincinnati.
706
00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:12,017
No.
707
00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:13,268
Bob Lipka.
708
00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:16,355
Oh, shit.
Nice.
709
00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:18,649
No, not nice.
Mistake.
710
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,733
Pack your things.
We're leaving early.
711
00:30:19,734 --> 00:30:21,944
I'm not gonna finish
the tournament.
712
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,403
Wait, why are you so upset?
713
00:30:23,404 --> 00:30:26,240
Oh, God!
I don't know what came over me.
714
00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:29,076
I was so mad, I just...
715
00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:31,411
The meaner I was to him,
the more into me he was!
716
00:30:31,412 --> 00:30:33,497
I just got swept up.
717
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:34,665
Makes sense.
718
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,668
Half the dudes here
are probably pain pigs.
719
00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:40,420
I don't sleep with married men.
720
00:30:40,421 --> 00:30:42,130
Haven't you and Marty...
721
00:30:42,131 --> 00:30:44,758
No, never
when he's been married.
722
00:30:44,759 --> 00:30:46,093
I don't get it.
723
00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:47,344
You're not exactly
a rule follower.
724
00:30:47,345 --> 00:30:49,721
You care about monogamy?
725
00:30:49,722 --> 00:30:50,931
I follow rules.
726
00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:52,933
You've literally committed
voter fraud.
727
00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:54,059
You vote in Nevada and Florida.
728
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:57,397
I got confused once,
and I regret ever telling you.
729
00:30:58,523 --> 00:30:59,565
Oh, I feel sick.
730
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:00,607
You have to be
kinder to yourself.
731
00:31:00,608 --> 00:31:03,777
Also, you've had
a really tough weekend.
732
00:31:03,778 --> 00:31:04,778
It's OK.
733
00:31:04,779 --> 00:31:07,990
I swore when this
happened to me...
734
00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:09,741
I would never be
the other woman.
735
00:31:09,742 --> 00:31:12,911
OK, well,
fucking a married man once
736
00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:16,123
is not the same as marrying
your sister's husband.
737
00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:18,625
- It's just not who I am.
- I get it.
738
00:31:18,626 --> 00:31:20,961
It's important to have values.
739
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:22,796
But sometimes you make
a mistake,
740
00:31:22,797 --> 00:31:24,548
end up in bed
with an oil heiress
741
00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:26,092
who wants to pee on ya.
742
00:31:31,973 --> 00:31:32,640
My point is...
743
00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:36,310
trying to be a good person
is hell.
744
00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:38,020
But at least you're trying.
745
00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:39,646
And I don't know,
maybe it'll help you get, like,
746
00:31:39,647 --> 00:31:40,898
1% over what happened
with Kathy.
747
00:31:50,116 --> 00:31:52,659
You want me to sit on your
suitcase so you can zip it?
748
00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:54,995
Yes, please.
749
00:31:54,996 --> 00:31:56,788
OK.
750
00:31:56,789 --> 00:31:58,498
Also, what happened
to your hair, girl?
751
00:31:58,499 --> 00:32:00,292
You guys go swimming?
752
00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:01,835
I don't know.
753
00:32:01,836 --> 00:32:03,879
I think I made him sit
in the shower.
754
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:04,297
Oh.
755
00:32:04,298 --> 00:32:06,673
Freak nasty.
756
00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:09,676
[upbeat music]
757
00:32:09,677 --> 00:32:14,806
♪ ♪
758
00:32:14,807 --> 00:32:17,351
- Thank you.
- No problem.
759
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:20,271
[doorbell rings]
760
00:32:21,939 --> 00:32:24,691
- Kathy Vance?
- Yes?
761
00:32:24,692 --> 00:32:26,276
You are cordially invited
762
00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:31,365
to attend Deborah Vance's
Vegas Christmas Spectacular.
763
00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:33,450
My sister, Deborah Vance?
764
00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:35,535
Is this a prank?
765
00:32:35,536 --> 00:32:38,331
I-I don't know.
I'm just the messenger.
766
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:40,916
Thank you.
767
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:44,378
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
768
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:45,754
Nobody tips anymore.
769
00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:49,633
[Marvin Gaye's
"Purple Snowflakes"]
770
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:50,551
♪ ♪
771
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:51,593
♪ Softly they flow ♪
772
00:32:51,594 --> 00:32:54,221
♪ Where do they go? ♪
773
00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:56,014
- ♪ Purple snowflakes ♪
- ♪ Cover the ground ♪
774
00:32:56,015 --> 00:32:59,810
- ♪ Without a sound ♪
- ♪ Gentle snowflakes ♪
775
00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:02,896
♪ Fall from the sky
before your eyes ♪
776
00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:05,732
- ♪ It's so thrilling ♪
- ♪ Blankets of white ♪
777
00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:08,568
- ♪ Brighten the night ♪
- ♪ Such a feeling ♪
778
00:33:08,569 --> 00:33:11,738
♪ They seem to say ♪
779
00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:15,575
♪ That our love
is here to stay ♪
780
00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:19,287
♪ We'll be cozy and warm ♪
781
00:33:19,288 --> 00:33:23,250
♪ Until summer flowers bloom ♪
782
00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:25,085
♪ ♪
783
00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:29,172
♪ Here in our nest,
we're surely blessed ♪
784
00:33:29,173 --> 00:33:31,925
- ♪ Chestnuts roasting ♪
- ♪ Over the heat ♪
785
00:33:31,926 --> 00:33:33,927
- ♪ Gee, ain't life sweet? ♪
- ♪ Tootsies toasting ♪
786
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:37,139
♪ Drifting on air
without a care ♪
787
00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:40,767
- ♪ Purple snowflakes ♪
- ♪ Cover the ground ♪
788
00:33:40,768 --> 00:33:43,770
- ♪ Without a sound ♪
- ♪ Love the snowflakes ♪
789
00:33:43,771 --> 00:33:46,606
♪ As sure as snowflakes ♪
790
00:33:46,607 --> 00:33:51,611
♪ Fall from the gloom ♪
791
00:33:51,612 --> 00:33:55,657
♪ I will always remember
this night ♪
792
00:33:55,658 --> 00:33:59,870
♪ Here with you ♪
793
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:01,621
♪ Hey ♪
794
00:34:01,622 --> 00:34:04,624
all: ♪ Snowflakes ♪
795
00:34:04,625 --> 00:34:06,294
♪ Pretty purple snowflakes ♪
55435
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