All language subtitles for Finding.Emily.2026.1080p.WEB.H264-CinemaCity

Love is a state of temporary psychosis.

Sigmund Freud.

Freud.

What?

No,

I won't.

Hey, oh don't mind how she likes to pee
standing up

Well, yeah, woman's choice. I mean, I
like to be sitting down sometimes.

The key for the girls is a joke, and
Harvey Martin's got a people in there.

I think we've got stage fright.

Frida Kahlo deserves better than this.

Am I right?

You work here?

Not in here.

I'm a sound engineer, so... I'll
probably do that, actually.

Bottle opener?

No, but I don't want you to hurt
yourself and I might have something in

pocket that might be able to do it. Here
you go.

Yeah.

Thanks.

There you go.

Thank you.

Oh, nice straw.

Yeah, it's metal.

The turtles are shoving the plastic ones
up their noses. A lot of cocaine.

Yeah. Do you want it? It's really good,
but you can have it. Drink now, straw

for life.

What, that balloon animal? No, no, just
tying the ends of a balloon. So many

people struggle.

Yeah, no, my fingers always get stuck.

That's what's really good, my fingers.

I wasn't saying it rudely, I was just
saying, because I used to play guitar in

band, so... Whoa, you're in a band!

Not anymore, like, you need money to
live, so now we're here. But look, best

thing about it, you get four free soft
drinks per night. Wow, don't go flashing

those about.

You in a band, or is your boyfriend in a
band? Yeah, he is actually.

Oh. Joking, I don't have a boyfriend.

What about your girlfriend?

Don't have a girlfriend.

Nah, yeah, I got a wife.

Alright, silence.

You don't have to, but I'd really like
to get your number.

Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

Okay. Come on!

Are you going to memorise it? I've got a
phone.

Come on, we're already late!

All right.

Thanks. Bye. Bye.

See you later. Bye.

You've been locked deep in a Ryan's belt
looping again, haven't you?

Bangled up.

procrastinating with eons, left to
travel in a bedroom full of crap. You

broken up like the ozone and must not
achieve a PBA in diet.

What a nightmare.

You know that picture you took at the
summer?

Well, that's got to count for something.

It was golden hour.

And that's a big smile for us that day.

People are between a rough and a calm.

Morning. Hey.

Frodo, you wanna knock before barging
in? What, into the kitchen and the

area? No, don't think so.

You alright? Yeah.

Hey, erm, Owen, look, er... So, hey,
look.

What? So, a delightful young...

Professional couple from Marsden. They
want to come and view the place this

evening. Oh, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt.
Please,

can you be in? I've got to work late.

Oh, I can't do that, Frey, cos I've got
to pray today.

So I can't do that. Sorry.

Can't. Too busy.

I was in a good mood.

Why? What happened?

Find a special little peephole in the
men's bog.

You know, some dude used one, and then
when he came out, he got on the upside

with his dad.

Mate, that's an urban myth. It didn't
happen. Still denying it, are you? What

you mean, denying it? We've got the same
dad. That just makes no sense.

What is her name?

Emily. I knew it. And have you talked to
this Emily?

Yeah, obviously I've talked to her. Hard
luck, mate. What do you mean, hard

luck? She talked back, actually.

Yeah? Yeah, we danced in the middle of
the SU and it was like, looked at each

other and just, bam.

Felt like time actually stood still.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, no, what are you saying? No
fault.

No, please.

He's not again.

No, no, no, no, no. It's different. It's
different. It's different this time.

What? You're going to write a song about
it? So when are you seeing her again?

I don't know. I haven't messaged her
yet.

Why?

I don't know. She's not got this next
morning. What are you going to do now?

No, I haven't got the balls, have you?
I've got the balls. Do it now, then. I

will.

Go on, then. I will.

Matt, what's the time?

It's eight. Oh, I don't know, love. I
think it's sort of, um... I think it's

sort of standing still.

What do you mean, bless him?

Really funny.

You keep it casual.

I know how to send a text message. I'm a
pretty casual guy, you know.

I've got some good stuff going on here,
like, I've divorced him or what. Don't

matter.

Um... What?

He won't send for some reason. He's
like... Sorry.

Is the Wi -Fi working?

Matt, give me the phone back. Matt, give
me the phone back. Matt, give me the

phone back.

My mum is wrong. We're not falling back.

Oh, hon, that is not her number.

What do you mean it's not her number?

I saw her put it in. It is her number, I
swear.

It's missing a digit.

Do you mean it's missing a digit?

Mal!

What am I supposed to do now? Stop
laughing, please. It's not funny.

I'll find her.

How is it? I'll find her.

It's her name.

I don't know.

Abe. I don't know.

Subject to study.

Didn't ask that.

What did you talk about?

We didn't really have, like, a proper
conversation. We were just dancing and

looking at each other. It was dead nice.

Matt, stop it. Stop that.

Come on, Akin. She's a student at the
uni you work at.

You're going to see her again?

Yeah, I know. That's a good point.

Thank you.

Good morning. I'm wondering if you could
help me. I'm looking for a student that

goes there. Which student?

Emily. Emily what?

Emily, please.

Oh, I don't know her last name.

Well, I can't help you then.

Don't you have a directory with all the
students' names on it? No.

I really need your help.

Yeah, I've got some of hers.

That's what it is. I've got this.

This is hers. Well, it was her dad's and
it was a fire and it was really like

kind of... Yeah, that's a lie.

Do you want the truth? No, I don't. I
met her last night and just really got

with her. I realised about her and she
drinks beer, bottles, and she's funny,

smart. Have you ever met somebody and,
like, all that shit you've got going on

in your mind just doesn't matter
anymore?

And, like, the light at the end of your
tunnel, you're just standing in this

light and you're just, like, just,
like... And then always just, like,

could you just tell me, like, what class
you're in, maybe? Or I feel like it

might be the most important thing you
ever do. You've got two seconds to leave

before I call security, all right? Yeah,
OK, all right.

OK, I'll leave you to it.

Next. Oh, hey.

Yeah? You forgot this.

Oh, thanks, man. Cheers. The only Emily
I know is Emily Raine. It proper sounds

like her.

Okay, yeah, but do you know where I can
find her? Is she, like... Oh, does she

take psychology in the social science
building? Okay, all right. Thanks, man.

Have a good day.

Right, everyone, I'm obligated to tell
you you have three weeks left.

Those who haven't started your
conclusions do so now. It's worth 25 %

whole mark.

Those of you who...

What? Hi, could I speak to Emily Rain,
please?

Can this wait?

Not really. I have a really important
message from my father, so...

Ah.

Is there by any chance, like, another
Emily Rain in there, or...? You have a

message from my dad?

Yeah, yeah, just he's running into a bit
of car trouble.

He's fine, he's fine, don't worry. Just
wanted me to let you know that it's just

his car. Right.

Yeah. Nothing about where he's been for
the last 21 years?

Whether I have brothers or sisters, an
apology?

Nah, just the car thing.

Oh.

Well, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm
sorry, he didn't call.

You're typically my... Sorry, I'll let
you get back. What are you doing?

Well, I'm looking for this girl called
Emily.

It's a specific Emily. It's not you,
obviously. Emily what? I don't know. I

don't know her last name or anything
that's going to help me find her. So now

you're running around dragging Emily's
out of lectures?

No, you're the first.

And the last, I reckon.

It didn't really work, so... Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Sorry, by the way. Sorry.

Those intending a last -minute, Ritalin
-fueled all -nighter in the belief that

you'll produce something that will
change the world of social sciences,

me.

Look at me.

You won't.

Applications for the post -grad position
at the Donegan Psychiatry Group have

now closed. I will let you know the
short list.

Rain, glad to see you got your
application in at the 11th hour. If it

for the 11th hour, nothing would ever
get done.

How's your dissertation?

Have you scientifically proven that
everyone in love is in fact a health

-sabotaging Neanderthal sheep?

Oh dear.

Scholarship student with a visa on the
line. I thought you'd have stretched to

something a little more challenging than
attachment theory.

Okay, so what I'm looking for here is
just an example of how love...

led to self -sabotage.

So I'm looking for life falling apart
type stuff.

Crazy shit.

Right?

What about the breakups? Did anybody do
anything unhinged?

I cut this fringe.

No way, I cut a fringe.

It's grown up now.

Oh, I had mine before we got together.

Have you committed a crime?

Wait, Frida?

Frida! Wait!

Oi, wait! Frida!

Frida Kahlo, wait!

Wait!

Frida!

Wait! Wait! Frida Kahlo!

I, uh, I don't think she's in you, dude.

Yeah, that wasn't even her. That was a
mate. She didn't hear me, so...

Missing. A digit of Emily's number. You
gave me ten elevenths of your number on

Monday. You were a fairy.

I was the guy with no bottle opener
who'd really like to see you again. Meet

where you can tell me any night at 7pm.

She's a fairy?

Yeah, she was dressed like a fairy.

She'll get it.

An actual manic pixie dream girl, huh?

What are you talking about?

Well, she's not a real person. She's a
perfect, uncomplicated, heteronormative

projection of everything you want her to
be.

I don't know what you just said, but,
no, she's real.

And not like any girl you've ever met,
right? An eccentric, but in, like, a

socially acceptable way. And she thinks
you're amazing and she loves what you

love and made you see the world in
colors you never even knew existed.

No, no, I knew they existed. It's just
I've never seen them so, well, so

What do you actually know about this
girl? I mean...

Just find someone else. This is... But
why? Why we don't want to find someone

else? What's wrong with trying?

There is nobody else, you understand?

Oh, come on. What do you mean, come on?
When did everyone get so cynical? What's

with that? You don't get to choose who
you fall for. You don't dip in and out.

Run it by the clock. That's not what
happens.

I don't know how you are in a
relationship, but that's not how I want

I want to find her, okay?

I'll help you find her.

I mean, I want to help you. Why would
you want to do that?

Look, I'm sorry. You're absolutely
right. People are cynical.

And the truth is, I would want someone
to do this for me.

Look,

what's your name again?

Owen. Owen.

Okay. Emily.

You knew that though, right?

Look, Owen, you seem like a nice guy.

Emily's probably wondering why you
haven't called. Yeah, yeah, I know.

Apparently you're not supposed to wait
over three days or something. And term's

almost over. I mean, she'll be
heartbroken. So let me help.

Plus, I'm a student here. I can be your
eyes on the ground, ear to the street.

I'm really good at this kind of thing.

Like, what's the plan after the wanted
posters?

I don't really have a plan.

Risky, live cases are unpredictable.

Trust me, I know. You cannot get
involved.

One hint of bias or influence will
invalidate your study and you will fail.

Boy, it's going to rain.

You don't have time for this. You're
meant to be right to your conclusion.

This guy is my conclusion. He's the case
study I've been waiting for. He's my

very own Stanford Prison Experiment.

Jesus is the black man. Jesus is the
black man. No, no, no, no, no.

That was Wayne.

Who's got the big ears?

Who's got the big ears?

Who's got the big ears? Wayne!

Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!

How many

people I should go to this place?

That sounds about right.

I mean, I found all of them in the last
week, all but one.

I found this guy here like six times.
All right, mate.

How's it going? All right.

And to be sure that romantic attachment
is the cause of any Freudian madness,

you must first establish that there are
no pre -existing psychiatric conditions.

No pre -existing psychiatric conditions.

I'd hide those if I was you.

No supplement.

The gut's the second brain.

Did you know it can function
independently of the brain and the

system?

My grandma was on so many pills by the
end that she used to say, if you pick me

up, I'll rattle.

Yeah, my mom used to say the same.

Are you on any medication?

I take antihistamines sometimes, but I
hate fever.

Anything for mental illness?

Have you ever been committed to a
psychiatric hospital?

What? Criminal record.

So, what is this? I'm just making
conversation.

Just getting to know you.

Have you ever, like, got to know
somebody before? Because you're well

that.

Who's that, then?

My boyfriend.

Who, Tristan?

Yeah.

No. But you want him to be?

No.

Is that a lie?

You know nothing about me.

Isn't that, like, what this is for?

It's complicated.

Oh.

You can't make sort of case study where
they don't know. Like, I don't think

that's even admissible. I think, don't
they have to sign a belief form?

I might have signed it for him.

I just, I'm saving in the admin.

Okay, so that's giving a legal. No, I
know, but it's also, it's giving Donegan

position. My other case studies are so
boring. I need him. Do you think you

manipulate situations for your own good?
I need him to do something big to give

a scale. Would you say you have a
grandiose sense of self -worth?

If I don't get this position, I have to
go back to Iowa and live with my mom and

her flat earth theories.

Aw.

You could marry me and get a spousal
visa and come live in London. I want to

here, though.

And Tristan's got a job at the hospital,
so... No, do not come at me with the

Tristan stuff when I'm feeling this
unwell. We don't care what Tristan's

remember? It's been three years of...
Oh, this is just casual, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

I mean, it's not about him, though.
Like, I genuinely think that my thesis

help people understand themselves. What
about the Owen lad?

I mean, he's completely delusional. He
sits in the SU every night just waiting

for her like he's in some shitty
Casablanca.

He's in love with the idea of love.

Wait, I was thinking.

Did you check social media?

Obviously, I've checked social media.

I've seen the face of every Emily that
goes there. And obviously, she ain't

gonna have social media anyway. She's
too cool, so... You can't know

about someone in 20 minutes.

Yeah, but...

You know everything you need to know,
don't you? No, people only tell you what

they want you to know.

That's not what value say, though.

It's about the vibe.

My professor, he wrote this amazing
paper.

Are we in love with the people in our
lives or just our projections of them?

Love isn't something that should be
studied. Actually, a lot of people study

love. Yeah, man, you can't look at it
too long, otherwise it'll just

Well, have you never wondered why you
are the way that you are?

Why you do the things you do? I mean,
what effect your parents had on your

personality?

So did I buy weed off you in first year?

Was it the antique maracas? Is that you?

No. Get a weird vibe off you, man.

Not like deja vu, like deja vu, you know
what I mean?

Yeah.

All right, son, monkey.

How you doing here?

No gigs tonight?

No, I'm just having a quiet pint, so...
Yeah, dead quiet.

It's like a bloody wake over here.

Christ. Seamless.

Could be worse, down worm.

Could be this, quack.

How embarrassing.

Ladies.

Maybe that's why she's not coming,
because she's embarrassed.

Why would she be embarrassed?

Well, think about it. She came on to me.

Put herself out there, gave me a number
and that.

And poor she's concerned, you know, I've
just ghosted her.

She ain't going to come here, is she?
She knows I work here. She thinks I'm

of those players, man.

There you are.

Okay, she said she was going to a
birthday party on Canal Street, so it's

be one of these, hasn't it?

Yeah, it's got to be.

Okay, can we just go in and bounce all
the way down? Okay, I'm in.

Hi, mate.

Was there a birthday party here on
Monday?

What kind of party?

Fancy dress kind of party.

Yeah, it was amazing, you know. Can I
have the name of the person whose party

that was, please? Can't give that out.

Sorry, mate.

Let's have a kinky.

I want to have a kinky.

This kiki is marvellous!

Oh, I didn't get any information.

But I got a sweet dream!

Great!

Let's have a tiki.

Oh, are we going to the next one? No.

No next one. There's no point. I'm
wasting my time and your time. Listen,

spent 70 quid tonight. No one's told me
anything.

I don't even know why I lied about that.

Okay, so we'll find a new strategy.

There's no point. She probably met
someone the other day that did text her

And what am I doing? Just pissing away
mortgage money with you.

No offense or anything. It's just,
there's no point, is there? No, I mean,

said you'd find her at any cost, and
you've only spent 90.

I spent 125.

One guy out there took cards.

Okay, so that's it? You're just giving
up? I don't know what to do. What am I

supposed to do? Tell me. Tell me what
I'm supposed to do. Because right now,

there's nothing.

I might as well just go home.

You'll never guess the right thing.

Oh, oh.

I'm screwed.

Have you slept?

I'm going to fail.

There's no degree, no Donovan position.
I'm going to go home a loser and a

nobody all because of him. What,
Tristan? No, Owen.

He just gave up. He walked away.

Like a completely sane person. I mean,
what am I supposed to do?

Um, what can we do? Oh, you could just
disprove your hypothesis.

Nobody gets a first from disproving
their hypothesis.

You could just... Ask for an extension.

He doesn't give extensions.

Legally, he has to give you an extension
if you evidence extenuating

circumstances. What are my extenuating
circumstances?

Okay, big breath.

And let it out.

I think this is giving extenuating
circumstances.

I think just take a picture of this and
pop it in an email. See that first of

yours, and I think you'll get an
extension.

Big kiss.

You've got this.

You have got this.

Sweetie, it's for you.

Popcorn for me.

Deep breathing.

Oh, shit.

Thank you, Anna.

Okay.

This is the email address of every
single Emily who is currently enrolled

university. How am I going to know which
one's hers?

Only one way to find out?

Nah, I can't do that. I'll lose my job,
so... Well, only if people find out it

was you, and they won't. I mean, this is
your chance. She's right here.

I'm not influencing you.

Okay.

Do it quickly. Yeah, well, that depends
on how many Emilys there are. Well, how

many can there be?

There's 318 Emilys going.

That's wild, isn't it?

Only four Owens as well.

Only four.

Here you go.

You sent it?

No, not yet.

Okay. E .T.? What's that for?

It's a...

Stupid dare.

Is it real?

Yep.

Oh, that EG on your phone home finger.

Yeah. Funny.

Great dare.

Yeah, so I'm not 20 yet, but I've got
something.

What do you reckon to this?

Evening, ladies.

Ooh. Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to probably make that Emily's.

Yeah. Right,

evening, Emily's. I met one of you last
Monday in the SU.

You were a fairy.

I was a guy flashing coupons. The number
I have for you is a digit short.

I look for you everywhere. It turns out
this is the final straw.

What?

British flirting. It's like a random
word generator. What is that straw? What

that? It's just like, it's an inside
joke. You won't get it. It's just about

like turtles out of their shell on coke.

Hilarious. Keep going.

So I just said, if you'd like to see me
again, just email me back. Smiley face.

Yeah, it doesn't need a smiley face,
does it?

What happens if I've, like, misread this
whole situation and she did wrong

number me?

Well, I mean, you must have some idea
she liked you, right?

Well, yeah, I think I did, but what are
you good at this stuff? It's like one

minute you think it's going all right
and the next minute it's like, oh, you

know, you're a bit too much. Is your
brother single?

I just don't want to ruin stuff, do you
know what I mean? I feel like I was the

right mess after me, but, you know, I've
got this job, and I just feel like

everything's started to go all right,
and now I've met this girl that's going

make everything feel perfect for me, and
now I don't want to know if she's

wronged on me, do you know what I mean?
Why would I want to know that?

And also, like, I definitely don't want
317 other random people to know that.

I don't know, I just feel like if I send
it, I'm just going to ruin everything,

do you know what I mean? I'm just a
little bit stressed about the whole

don't really know what to say. What do
you think I should do?

Send it.

Okay. I'll do that then.

I got it.

What is this about anyway?

Star -crossed lovers.

Right.

The taco pizza is a textural Midwestern
experience.

It's a true delicacy. Do not blame your
vile concoction on the good people of

Iowa. I won't hear anything against the
pizza. Well, I will. It's Kyle!

Don't knock it till you try it. I'm
serious.

It's very good.

Don't listen to her. Hi.

65 BPM, two flights of stairs.

Not too shabby.

I'm getting you both a plate so we can
all try it together.

Hello, hello.

Hey, Kyle. Hello.

You can skip him.

Look at this perfect punnet of tomatoes
I got from the M &S bin. Yeah?

You don't know how many tons of food go
to waste in this country, huh?

Laughable.

I got chocolate eggs too.

Perfect pizza topping.

You're welcome.

Emily? Yes? Is Tristan coming?

He sends his apologies, but is otherwise
engaged.

Hello?

I'm not really sure what's happening,
but I'm getting like a load of emails.

Hey, Emily.

Nice to meet you all.

My God, WTF.

Are straight people okay?

Question mark. You CC'd everyone?

Yeah, yeah, I can see that now. So
you've just created a chat room with 318

Emilys. Everybody can reply to each
other now.

Well, thanks for the recap.

Wait, does he even go here? I'm
literally dying.

Guys, I manifested this.

Upset. How did you not be a BCC? I don't
know what a BCC is. Wow, who is BCC?

Never mind, look, it'll be fine.

Iconic.

Listen, could you tell me how to delete
it?

You can't. I'm asking.

Why is she looking at me?

What does flashing coupons even mean?

Penis. Her big eye needs it. That
doesn't even make sense.

Your name's a penis.

Coupons? Oh, well, this was a great
idea, thanks a lot. No, it wasn't my

Would you mean it wasn't...

Stay calm.

I'm supposed to stay calm.

So get bored, eventually.

And she'll reply, as well as all the
other Emilys. You did the right thing.

It's cute.

I wish someone did it for me.

What, have the whole uni hunting you
down?

Not cute, it's unwell.

It's cute if he's fit.

He's not, though.

No fit lad would do that. If you were
fit, you'd make sure you got your number

right. You'd be an incel rat face.

Not in a good way.

You can't know that from an email.

Please, he'll smell his own socks in his
man's basement.

But he's never seen a pair of tits in
his life.

Please, join me.

What do you think?

Can I use it?

Please don't touch that.

It's part of the process.

And you've verified there's no
delusions, disturbed thoughts, mania?

fine. Fine?

He hasn't signed it. That email address
is obviously an alias.

Right.

I think that negates self -sabotage.

Well, I considered that, but no.

I mean, the subject has no intention of
hiding any resulting relationship, which

will in turn expose his identity and
hers.

His penis. Every guy named... Oh, here
he is now.

What is your relationship

with the subject?

Nothing. There's...

No relationship?

No undocumented communication, nothing
that would constitute researcher

interference.

Oh, there he is again.

Keen.

That's me.

Nothing in there that would say...
That's my private space.

Rain, your Donegan interview is
imminent. If there's anything you need

declare, do it now.

There's nothing.

He's just data.

Good.

Write it up.

You may exit the vehicle. Please take
this apple with you. I don't know what I

was thinking.

Thank you.

Come back for me, George.

I reckon you made this Emily Bird up so
he can shoot his shot at all of them.

See or smash.

Not that I dare, you know.

Hey, I'm going to do it for the
Jennifer. Jennifer the Hob. This is the

draw. I know I'm willingly taking out
context, but that's a threat.

A thousand percent.

Dean, there's an attack on our security.
We demand to know what's being done.

I will wear a hood, but I'm not going to
wear a ball gag because, you know, I've

got a bad tooth.

Tell Tracy.

All right, see you Friday.

Emily Fearless.

Always a pleasure.

The university is aware of the breach
and we're looking into it. Right, and

are we supposed to do?

God knows what other information he has.
He could have our phone numbers, our

addresses. This is not safe for
students.

And as president of the student union, I
just feel that... I'm aware of your

worldly place, Emily.

Come on, off you go.

I really can assure you, Madam
President...

The safety of students is absolutely
paramount. Really?

Because as far as I'm aware, the
creators of upskirt bingo still have not

held to account.

And what about Pervy Martin and his
people?

Now, Pervy Martin... Martin has been
questioned, and we're still

Beaver Bingo.

As a woman in a position of power, you
are preventing progress. You know what?

I've burned my bra. I've done the work.
You go and do some work now, too, OK?

Trick it, trick it, someone's trick it.

It's a breach of our privacy. No one
wants to breach your privacy, love.

Great, see that? That right there's the
issue. This culture of toxic masculinity

left completely unchecked leaves them
thinking that they can just send us

emails. Oh, we can't send emails now.
All right, shut up, you ding -dongs.

Listen, I'm sorry about everything.

The faculty is doing everything to
maintain the investigation into

that's pertinent to this.

So I'm not jilted. Are you brain dead?
No, I'm not jilted, though. And anyway,

it worked. She replied.

Well, at least she said it were her.

That's when the others say it was her as
well, so I guess I'm just going to have

to find out which one's actually her.
Cool. How are you going to do that?

I'm going to send an email asking a
question. No, no, absolutely not. No

emails. Owen, it's actually illegal.

I don't think it is illegal. Nobody
actually knows it's me.

You? Yeah. You were looking for Emily.

Yeah, no, yeah, this Emily. Found her
ages ago. Thanks.

Yeah, I know. We're very happy.

Together. Yeah, this shirt is a joke.

I wear it so that all the boys know that
they don't stand a chance. Like, don't

even talk to me.

Can I just add quickly that I don't make
her wear that, though. That's like her

choice.

You clearly have an eye for a case.

You couldn't have manufactured it
better.

I didn't manufacture it.

what you mean yeah what benefit do you
see from furthering your research should

you be granted the position here i'd
like to explore the idea that romantic

attachment may have been beneficial at
some point in human history but is

perhaps unnecessary today when we're
infants our survival depends on a

looking after us feeding us protecting
us from danger and so naturally we

to them But why do we need attachment in
a romantic sense when we're adults who

can take care of ourselves?

I'd argue it's a byproduct of human
immaturity.

So, when it comes to romance, you're
saying we all need to grow up?

I'm saying that I don't see a clear
evolutionary benefit.

If anything, I mean, romantic attachment
puts us back in danger.

At the mercy of predators who can take
advantage.

So I get an anonymous email from this
sexy creep who's looking for a girl

called Emily.

This is a total invasion of our privacy.
It's what we're talking about here,

people. If you guys don't want him, I'll
have him upset!

Is it the most lesbian -coded thing I've
ever heard? Yeah. Creepy -ass scavenger

hunt. Do I kind of wish I thought of it
myself? Absolutely not.

I could be the Emily you're looking for.
Who is the real Emily?

Girl, where you at?

The thing is everywhere. I was asked by
four people today if I was the Emily.

I feel like I'm in that documentary that
we watched where it started out about,

like, that one little weird thing, and
then, boom, townspeople went missing,

some guy was a pedophile, everybody was
dead.

Sorry, you said he was a pedophile.

What? No, just an example.

Do you have any idea what you're doing
to this guy?

Not doing anything.

Really? You expect me to believe he just
found those addresses?

Three days ago, he said he wanted to
give up.

Excuse me. But that wouldn't help the
word count, would it? What are you, the

Jesus police? I didn't know that this
was going to happen. Yeah, but you're

delighted you did. My paper is actually
going to help people, especially Owen.

And Professor Westlake agrees. Oh, that
guy is a prick. Oh, please.

Can we just pay for the egg and Chris?

He's a living legend. He's famous in
psychology circles.

He put a first year in a bin for asking
for an autograph. I really wouldn't take

my cues off him. I'm not going to take
them from you.

I'm sorry. I just... You've been trying
to get Kyle to notice you for months

now, and I'm sorry. I love you, Anna,
but you could also benefit from my study

because I feel like you're making
yourself look stupid.

Wow. Wow. How do you even get your head
that far up for an ass?

Kyle is textbook anxious avoidance. Kyle
is my boyfriend.

Where do you think I've been going every
night?

Of course.

You didn't even notice. And you're
saying I'm stupid, but I'm not the one

Emily and Tristan tattooed on my finger.
That was a joke, and it was his idea.

But he didn't follow through with it,
did he?

And I'm saying this with love, but I can
hear you making those drunk phone calls

to him, and it's embarrassing.

I remember when you pitched up to his
family holiday unannounced. Babe, you

to read the room. Okay, he asked me to
go.

Okay, Emily, please can you just go
away?

Please do.

He should not be given a boy.

If predators can defend, then victims
cannot mend.

They try to call you and everything.
What are you doing? Have you swapped my

number or something?

Mm -mm -mm.

What is it then?

My phone's being weird. I'm sorry.

Owen, you can't do this podcast.

Why? Because then everybody will know
who you are. Everyone thinks I'm this

weird, strange, toxic, masculine, incel
abuser who's trying to grope girls

through email and that. It's all just
gotten mad and out of hand, and I just

want to show Emily that I'm not this
weird psychopath.

Owen.

I'm really sorry.

What for?

The reason I offered to help you is...
Dad?

I want chips, boat, and I want some cut.

Amen. Oh, God.

No, wait, wait, wait.

Are you being serious right now? Em?

Em?

Don't know what time is it breakfast
lunch dinner?

Those are the key meals. Yeah, and you
think don't forget you see I mean, I'm

I'm I'm interested Yeah, yeah, that's
right. Yeah, so I haven't quite been to

bed. I'm a bit Coffin or chips usual

growth stuff Actually look

coastline chips

So I handed in my thesis yesterday.

Two days early. It's a big slay.

Yeah, well, the 11th hour is not for me.

You need a sticky toffee study, buddy?

Uh, not this time. Thank you.

Okie dokie.

Uh, right, I've got to get back to
Libby. She's intolerant to sodium, but

loves chips.

In a bit.

Nice to meet you.

Ciao,

ciao.

So I'll just pretend my bandit
disappeared.

No, alright.

It's fine.

What do you want to do? Start robbing
all these hills or something?

Come on, let's just get out of here.

Grab your bike.

Count to three, yeah?

Ready?

One.

Two.

Three.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, no, no. Hit my hands. Hit my hands.

Ah, the hands.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry. Shouting hands at you. I
didn't see. I'm sorry.

Ah.

You've never done that before where you
hit someone in the hand.

I didn't see it. That's what you did.
I'm sorry. It's okay.

It's a good punch, actually.

Ah.

Right.

I've got to get going.

You're going to do the podcast?

Yeah, obviously.

Okay, well, just...

Just watch out for that podcast girl,
because I know she looks like Broadcast

Barbie and her hair smells like
Christmas, but she's unhinged.

So just stay calm, maintain eye contact,
and say her name a lot. The brain loves

hearing its own name. It's like the most
important sound in the world for the

brain, especially hers. Okay.

All right.

All right, great.

Thanks for the advice.

All right, let's go.

That's my banana.

Sorry. It's actually my lunch.

Oh, sorry. I thought, like, it was for
everyone and that. Sorry. Put that back

together for you like that. Look.

Still edible, that.

Just don't leave it over two hours. Are
we filming this, by the way?

Mm -hm. Yeah, we stream everything on
the uni website.

Oh.

It's not a big deal.

It kind of is a big deal, actually.
Wait, hang on a minute, cos I didn't

this was being filmed. Really? No, wait,
hang on a minute. Don't do this. Stop

the camera.

I'm Laura Lewis, and welcome to this
week's show.

So, our guest this week is the man
behind the mail.

Owen, thank you so much for stepping out
of the shadows to join us today.

A guy and a girl walk into a bar, no, it
is not the time for that. Oh, Christ,

what have you done now, then? The
precursor to an event that has rocked

entire campus.

Last week, our guest met and fell for
Emily, one of the 318... Oh, good news!

..infamous email... Who cares?

Now, my question is, was this a harmless
romantic gesture or just sexual

harassment? Oh, I'm not sexually
harassing her, Lara. Okay, back away

microphone. I'm not sexually harassing
her. Okay, you wouldn't be the first

person to get turned down or wrong
-numbered, but you can't accept that

what's happened. No, I don't think I was
wrong -numbered, that's the thing. She

didn't right -number you, did she?

Well, no, but she was in a rush. She had
a birthday she had to go to, and her

friends were shouting, so she just
missed off a digit. Happens all the

are you aware that women often employ
friends to help them in potentially

dangerous situations?

Yeah, I'm aware. You know, fake calls,
pretending they need to be somewhere.

Your actions have actually started an
army.

A 318 -strong army of women...

standing together, protecting each other
from men predators like you. What do

you mean predators like me? I'm not
dangerous or anything. I just want to

well, I've seen a pair of tits before.

Ah, you little prick.

Can I just clarify?

What? You think that a woman...

Speaking to you first means that she
wants you romantically. No, that's not

I said. You did say that. She spoke to
me. No, I was just saying that she spoke

to me first and asked me to dance,
that's all.

And I know, yeah, that dancing and
speaking doesn't mean that someone's

attracted to you or has an interest in
you, but I've spoken to enough girls

haven't been interested in me to know
the difference. Do you know what I mean,

Laura?

You felt there was a connection?

Yeah, there was a connection.

It was like, I wouldn't be doing any of
this if there wasn't. And you really

feel like you can tell that after just
one interaction?

Yeah, it's a great interaction.

Do you see that for some people this
just seems crazy?

I think it's crazier if I felt like this
and did absolutely nothing about it,

right? Owen, you're not a student here,
are you? You're staff.

I'm a sound engineer. I don't like
marked papers and that.

A relationship with a student is totally
above board. I've looked into it. OK,

great news, if you ever have one.

Look.

Here's what I want to know.

How did you get those addresses?

Uh... Oh, and you said you wanted to
clear your name. Now is your chance.

Did anyone help you?

Um... Nah, just, uh...

I hacked into the system.

You hacked the system? Interesting. How
would you hack a system?

Right, and while you were hacking the
system, did you stop and think, is this

what Emily wants at any point?

Uh, I just... She wanted me to contact
her.

She hasn't replied to you, has she,
Owen?

Why do you think that is?

Another mistype?

Another birthday?

If Emily was listening right now...
Yeah?

What do you want to say?

Um... Well,

I wrote her a song. Oh, no.

Sing it.

I don't have a guitar.

Oh, no, we can sort that.

Cheryl? Yeah? Can we get a guitar,
please?

Yeah. Thank you. No, that's all right,
Cheryl. No, it's fine. It's her job.

We're getting the songs!

We're getting the song!

She's got a guitar.

Oh, my God.

Um... Go on, then. This could be a bit
like...

Rusty, I don't know. No, no, this song
would be great.

You sure?

Right.

Oh my gosh, she's amazing.

About the mould that climbs my walls And
how I think I saw your face In a little

cluster down the hall If only I could

call That's all I have

right now.

What a guy!

Thank you so much for joining us today.

Well, that weren't dignified.

Was it?

The true freedom in this life is knowing
you cringe and doing it anyway.

That guy is free.

I've been Laura Lewis. He's been
controversial.

And follow us for more.

I need to talk about this email dude.

He's run me over.

I mean, I'd like to be serenaded. He
literally had to...

I'm team Get The Girl. It is the year of
the yearners. Can we just stop

fetishizing white boys playing guitar?

The levels are rising.

Long Lost Gallagher Brother sets off
chain reaction of shame and carnage. You

seem like a decent guy to me. This is a
guitar tutorial for a female guy's song.

All I am saying is that he is a very
good singer.

It was like Ed Sheeran. I thought it was
quite cute. But Ed Sheeran was on the

watchdog. Let's keep watching this chaos
unfold.

I'm the best.

What are you pair doing?

I think we got a bite off. Come on.

I'm triple checking the width of
everything because they're saying the

wrong. You sure that's what we want to
do, yeah?

Yeah. That's what we're going to do.
Sell to the first person. Like it's the

most casual thing in the world, yeah?
Yeah.

Really? She wanted to stay in the house.

No, Mum wanted us to sell up so we could
use the money for ourselves.

No, I don't want any money. That's not
what I want.

Nobody needs money. That's not... Oh,
yeah, really, Mitchell. That's good

that right now, isn't it? Yeah, really
funny.

I'll mess with you in a minute. What are
you about that? Oh, yeah. Oh, dead

funny. Try and have a serious
conversation with your... Are you doing

Owen!

Hang on a minute. I'm getting a phone
call.

What, are you sure that's a good idea?

Whatever it is, it's not going to be a
good idea, is it? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. All right, OK.

I'll see you then, then, yeah?

All right. Bye.

Bye.

Er, can we talk about this properly?

No. I've got to go and meet every Emily
that's enrolled at uni.

Told you.

There's a party.

She might be there.

Listen, just stop measuring things, all
right?

Something can't be measured.

I think he meant sentimentally.

Oh.

Okay,

this definitely wasn't a good idea.

We're a bit close there.

Just stay calm, stay calm, stay calm.

That might be her.

Yeah, behind you. Over there.

Oh.

Do you have one with goat cheese?

Give him here.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, it's there. Thank you.

I'm just... Oh, no, elegant.

I'm not too intolerant, so... Sorry.

OK.

She's there.

In the red thing with the pigtails. The
pigtails!

That is not a rotate helmet. Yeah, no, I
got it from...

You understand basic hand gestures. It
ain't hard.

Right. Maybe I would have understood
them if they weren't like this.

Are you done? No, I'm not. I'm not at
the part where you ran off screaming.

What am I supposed to do? What am I
supposed to do? Stand there and fight?

Oh, great. That'll look good in
tomorrow's papers, won't it?

Psycho stalker. This guy's this disco
pizza guy. Smacks up 100 MLBs. Who do

think you could smack up 100 MLBs? I
knew you were going to say that. No, I

don't, actually. I have what's known in
boxing as a glass chin. You box.

No, I've just got a chin.

I'll only be two for one drink to a one
pound shot at night and day.

Live banter one.

Yeah.

Oh, these are actually great. These are
for our support bench. You want to go?

I, uh, I have some work to do, but you
should go. You go.

Yeah, yeah, I'll go.

Yeah, Sam, night out on my own. Thanks a
lot. Ruin my life back there and then

send me out on my own. Great. Fine,
fine, okay, I'll come.

Let's go then. I haven't ruined your
life. You have ruined it. No, I haven't.

Listen, let's just talk about this over
a drink. Okay, fine. I'm not having that

discussion. We'll just start back there
now. Okay, great. All right?

Fine. Let's talk about what's happening
there and here.

Miles down. Okay, okay.

Ow. Just be gentle, gentle.

Uh -huh.

Gentle. I only press it gentle.

Gently. Yeah, I am.

Ah.

Okay. How do I look?

Angin. What's that?

It's like your face. It knocks me sick.

Cut looks good, though.

Pop her hard.

Don't make me laugh.

I didn't know I could.

Do you want this?

Nah, I'm okay.

Looks good.

Got blood on it.

What do you mean?

What about like 200 % then? What are you
saying?

Just enjoying the pub.

Oh.

I was wondering if you were going for
blue or red.

Quite important to know that.

Go blue.

In a past life, I was definitely, like,
an unbelievable farmhand, and I had,

like, seven little sickly children.

Oh, my God!

Can I get two chicken burgers, mate?

And if you deliver, can you take her
home?

We don't do any burgers.

Oh, you don't do chicken burgers? No
chicken burgers. You can always get,

just normal kebab meat and get it in a
pittle.

What? Who asked you? She works here. No,
I don't work here. I was just saying. I

didn't want any chicken burger.

I didn't want any.

Thank you, mate. That was very nice.

I was just saying, like, I just
bought... Are you all right?

He's some kind of hard lad.

What do you mean? He likes hitting
women.

Do you? Is that what you want to do? No,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It wasn't him. It wasn't him. It was
something else. There was an accident at

the club, and some guy ran into me. It's
fine. Don't worry.

I'm okay.

Really. But thank you. This lad is
actually... He's a really good one,

And actually, come on.

If you just, like, listen to his heart,
you can hear... It's kind of weird,

this. It is a bit weird, isn't it?

Yeah. Babe.

What?

It sounds like... His heartbeat.

Like Cardi B.

Carlo. Oh, amazing.

Oh, sorry.

Come on. Wow.

Sorry.

Wow.

Okay.

I've got to get back into music. You're
so good, and I know I said that already.

Okay, I'll say it again. You're so good.

I want to watch your band.

Nah. Yeah? Nah, there's no getting that
band back together.

Two lads joined another one, and, you
know, I did some really bad open mics

a bit, but then obviously my mum got ill
and I had to pay for treatment, and

now, yeah.

I don't know, there's no money, like, in
music anyways, so, yeah.

How long ago was this your mum?

Uh...

365 days.

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

Thanks.

You know, I had this obsession with
death for a bit.

But I'm over that now. I'm just, you
know, looking at life instead of death.

It's me.

Hi. It's me.

You really didn't have to walk me home.

I want him to forget jumps again.

You want me to text her, Angel?

Yes, that is true. Yeah? Yeah.

Well, not happening, do I?

No. Oh, my God, that's the email guy. No
way, is it?

All right. It is?

He'll hear you.

Well, anyway, I'd better get going
before I hear them.

Yeah. You shouldn't have let me do that
podcast. Well, I told you not to.

Yeah, but you weren't very convincing,
were you?

Love makes you do mad things.

I wasn't doing it for love. I was doing
it for me, clear my name and that.

Why didn't you say it was love at first
sight?

Er, I don't think so.

Anyway, a lot's happened since we were
sat in it.

Yeah.

Right, er... Night then, Emily. I'll,
er... Oh.

Night. See you later.

Don't catch on. Nah, I'm gonna run.

OK. See you.

on campus tensions are really rising.

Emily's are gathering in the masses and
we want to know what you think. Do you

think he's a sexy pest or a sex pest?

Vote in the Instagram poll.

The safety of our students is our number
one priority.

We are well aware of the recent security
breach committed by a junior member of

staff who was on probationary
employment.

I can report his position within our
institution has been terminated with

immediate effect.

White dump rain.

What do you mean?

Get this right and the Donegan position
is surely going to be yours.

15 hours to write this up and deliver.

You must be thrilled.

I don't think it's anything stupid to
you.

What if you've done something that isn't
stupid?

Matt.

Let's stop worrying.

Look, I know my brother, all right?
Like, he'll be in a field somewhere

at the sky, being all melodramatic, and
he'll probably write a song about it.

Owen.

Owen. Thank God, are you all right?
Where are you?

I'm, er... I'm in the Peter Street.

What did I tell you? Did you write any
song?

Are you OK?

That's okay.

It's not okay, though, is it?

I just wanted to stay in the house, and
I thought maybe I... I know, Owen, I

know, but, um... It has to happen, and
we really need your help with

this.

We can't stay here forever.

I was supposed to be starting my life
out, and, you know, for you guys, and,

know, I promised her that I'd be all
right, and...

Instead, I'm just some milk that can't
hold down a job and can't see when a

girl's trying to run away from me.

No, that was a mix -up.

Was it? Is that what you believe? Yeah.

Why didn't you reply then?

If she got the email, I mean, one word
would have just ended all of this.

There are a million reasons why she
didn't reply. You don't know her.

I do know her. I do.

No, you don't. She's a stranger, Owen.

Anyway, it takes like two minutes to
reply to an email, don't it?

A relationship is two people with their
own specifically complicated shit going

on, just trying their best.

It's relentlessly disappointing and
imperfect and...

..and magical.

People think I'm an idiot now.

No -one thinks that.

They do think that. One website called
me a rapist virgin.

Not an idiot, though.

There isn't just one.

But stay where you are.

Matt's going to come pick you up.

And drop him a pin.

Bye. Bye.

He was looking down on us now.

What do you think he said?

Probably, give over yourself, shine.

Right,

put it out.

Anyway. Yeah.

Words that don't work on TV.

Words for books. Words of comfort. Words
of peace. Words that make the fighting.

Words that tell you what to do. Words
are working hard for you.

Eat your words but don't go hungry.
Words have always nearly hung me.

What?

You're not unemployed.

You're fun employed.

Let's be positive.

We're going to get you a job.

You're that virgin that stalked a girl
at the university.

I wasn't stalking her. I'm not a virgin,
either. I've slept with people before.

How many?

Don't answer that, Owen.

Is that the standard interview question?

Nah. But I have your own moped.

What about that guy over there? He looks
like the manager.

You want standard interview questions?

He was a sound engineer on Led
Zeppelin's Houses of the Holy.

Eddie Kramer.

The deadly music died because of the
tragic death of which three artists?

Bully Holly, Richie Rollins, and the Big
Bop. Sugar Babes, push the button. What

year was it released? 2005.

How many people have you slept with?
Two.

Is your doctor out?

Huh? Yeah, no, don't take that.

Keep that here.

Yeah, I'm going to take that off. I'm
going to run that down to zero. What?

not hiring.

Let's get a drink.

All right.

It's on me. All right.

So, like, this Donegan thing, you've
made a shot at this. That's amazing.

I still have to get a first in my
dissertation, but, yeah, it's cool.

What's your dissertation about?

Uh, nothing.

Nothing. It's boring.

Doubt that.

I am excited, though, not just because
it's getting me a work visa, but I just,

yeah, I really like it, you know,
helping people figure themselves out.

Your mom must be proud. Are you guys
close?

Yeah, but we talk a lot, you know.

I just, I couldn't tell you what about.

She's got really into, like, telling me
local news from countries that neither

of us are in.

I don't know where she gets this stuff,
but, like, like there's been a salad

contamination in Hamburg.

Did you know that?

That might be useful, though.

Yeah.

We don't really have deep conversations,
I guess. And, yeah, I just stopped.

Trying to start them.

You know, I always felt closest to my
mum when we were just shouting at the

telly, like answers at Wheel of Fortune.

Many day fiancé for me.

Nice.

Excuse me. I was just wondering if you
were hiring.

I'm so hungry right now. Do you know
what? I actually cook after you can cook

it. Yeah?

Yeah, I live dead close by. Do you want
to come over? Cook for you.

I'll take you back for the pints and
that.

Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, sounds great. Yeah.
Oh, we can watch that new documentary

about the murder in the underground
origami championship in full blood.

What?

What is it?

Who?

Emily.

Her name's Emily.

That's why she replied. She didn't get
the email, did she?

Got her name wrong.

What?

How do you know?

Look, I don't know. I think I've been
trying to contact her. My God,

she wants to meet you tonight.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, you go.

I mean, yeah.

Emily, I mean, that's what all this has
been for, right?

I mean, what, like, what is it? Is it a
date or what? Like, I don't know. What

am I supposed to say?

Something like that. What am I supposed
to wear?

Your green check shirt.

I should probably... Sorry, do you want
to... How are you going to get that gel

freezy, though? Do you want to... I'll
just... I'll get takeaway. It's fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

She's going to love you.

Yeah.

Go. Go on. Are you okay getting back in
that? Are you in all the way? Yeah. Good

job. Yeah.

Okay, go. Go get her. Go get her.

What the hell is that?

It's a... Well, I was supposed to say
sorry for being... But I ran out of

I thought you'd find it funny.

But you don't.

I actually am really sorry.

Well, I'm not the one that needs an
arsehole cake.

Have you told Owen?

No.

I will soon.

Fun update, though.

Emily, with an A, just texted him and
said she does want to go on a date.

Emily?

You're kidding. Which is excellent.

Is it?

Yeah.

Okay, come here.

Come here.

Sorry. I love you.

What? I love you.

I love you.

Are you getting married or something?
Like, how much did I miss?

Honey, it's the leavers' ball tonight.

Yeah, sorry, I forgot.

Do you know what I've got the biggest
urge to do?

I designed it with that in mind. Oh my
god, really?

Yes.

How does this feel?

Smooth?

Mmm.

Think I'm pretty?

Hi. Hi.

Sorry I'm late. It's going to be about
two weeks to get here.

Yeah, a few weeks, exactly.

Better late than pregnant.

What?

Sorry.

I make dad jokes when I'm nervous.

Actually, that's not even a dad joke.
That's from The Golden Girl. You

have no idea about, and I can't claim
I've watched it myself, but I couldn't

mean.

Okay.

I'm going to go out and come back in
again. No, no, it's fine. It's fine,

fine, it's fine, honestly.

I got you a beer. It might be a little
bit... It's a little bit warm now, but,

yeah.

I thought you got sacked.

Yeah. Yeah, but you know what? I'm
better off out of that place anyway.

Do you know what I mean? Not financially
or... professionally.

I'm just... But, hey, I'm unemployed.

Is that how you heard about this?

I told the interview.

Right.

All right, OK.

Why didn't you say anything?

Don't know.

Um...

I was awake at the start.

When I came back, it just felt like it
had become this huge thing.

Yeah.

And everyone was looking for me, and it
was all just a bit much.

Yeah, I could imagine.

It's all a bit... It's all a bit of it,
man.

What are you doing, MCU?

How are we doing tonight?

You know and the electric shuffle, I
mean who suggests that as a meeting

It's so Organized fun and and the
lighting is terrible and they have those

fruity beers, which he'll hate I Know
why you

are helping him.

Yeah You're into that

whole spiel about how romantic
attachment is an evolutionary hangover.

going to get into it right now, but I'll
probably just sleep with this guy.

Sweet.

I'll call him.

fragile tower of glass. Stay.

Why do they have this?

This is playing with fire.

Have you decided what you're doing after
graduation yet?

It's all hanging in the balance.

Terribly exciting.

You'll be okay.

I never worry about you.

the time when i wanted so much for you
to worry about me sorry what no no no i

meant i don't worry because you know
you're brilliant and you're clever and

know things always work out for you
you're a phoenix rising and are we good

seem displeased at me i am i am
displeased i'm i'm

i'm displeased at myself shit i'm i'm

I think I made things weird and, you
know, I was trying to make things okay

then I didn't and, you know, I don't
know. I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry for these words.

Honestly,

Tristan, it doesn't matter.

feel worse i hate leaving the town that
owns me tonight your mind

will be loved

Neck deep in the ecosystem of ancient
Caledonian pine trees.

I study geography.

I love pine trees, me.

Did you ever want to go to uni?

It wasn't ever really a choice. It was
just, like, I had no money and I didn't

go to college. I'm not really very
academic. But I've heard there's

types of, like, intelligence and stuff.
Yeah, there are actually seven, I think.

Oh, my God, it's you.

What do you mean? You're the email guy,
right?

Yeah. Are you Emily?

Like, the Emily?

My name's Amelie.

Amelie. Cool. Funny.

You know what? I need to tell the
others.

No, you don't. You don't need to tell
anyone. Guys!

Sorry, I'm really sorry.

There's a bunch of us here. And thank
you, by the way, we all met at the pub.

I think that's the cue to call it a
night, yeah.

Maybe another time.

Listen, I'm really sorry about, like,
everything.

It's all just been a bit... I never
should have... Cool.

Yeah. Yeah.

Right, well, maybe get yourself a
bodyguard.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah, that's way less likely than you
think but you're gonna be okay getting

home, yeah?

Owen!

Oh my gosh, bro!

I love you. Thanks. Cheers, man. Cheers,
thanks.

Are you trying to break into the flat?

Nah. Nah, this is... I'm looking for
Emily.

She says she lives in that one, maybe.
Our flat. Our flat? Oh.

Hi. Nice to meet you all. Yeah.

But anyway, she left us for four hours,
so she'll be back probably, like, any

minute. But shall we go inside?

Yeah, that's okay. Are you about to
climb the drainpipe? Oh, yeah, I was

thinking about it.

Incredible stance.

Do you want me to take my shoes off?

No. Nah, you're good, man. All right.

You're good.

Tea? Mm -hmm. Tea?

Nah, I'm good. God, I need a chamomile.

Could I use the toilet, actually?

Yeah, sure.

Just to the left. Thanks.

Walk in silence.

Don't walk away in silence.

See the danger, oh, the

danger.

And obviously she ain't going to have
social media or anything. She's too

You can't know everything about someone
in 20 minutes.

Yeah, but you know everything you need
to know, don't you?

No, people only tell you what they want
you to know.

That's not what I'm saying. It's about
the vibe.

My professor, he wrote this amazing
paper. Are we in love with the people in

lives or just our projections of them?

I didn't think that should be studied.
Actually, a lot of people study love.

not going to do that.

You're confused.

I was going to tell you, I actually, I
went to see you tonight to tell you.

It just started as this project on my
degree.

Don't walk away.

Keep moving.

You got first.

It's just a written mark. I still need
to do my presentation.

So? You could literally go there, take a
dump on a desk, and still get a first

on 92.

Kyle.

Well, I'm not saying do that. I'm just
saying you should go.

Hello. You've reached Elwynn. I'll leave
a message after the beep.

Okay. Come on, there's got to be
something we can do. Yeah, have a fresh

There you go.

It's really nice.

No, not the same. Okay, Kyle.

Imagine that I had lied to you and
played a small but vital role in...

Making the whole world think you're a
psychopath and got you sacked. How would

win back your affection?

Gosh,

it really is a tricky one. Okay.

Thanks, guys. Super helpful.

Good morning.

Yes, that's right. I'm Laura Lewis.
Today we're talking about the ongoing...

Actually, there's one more thing I can
try.

Dean, we want to hear from you. We've
signed petitions.

We've held marches. We want to know when
it will end. There is... Sorry, just a

little technical going on here. She's
Emily.

Hi, I'm Laura Lewis, and we are back
with breaking news.

There are two sides to every story, and
last week, you'll remember our guest,

the infamous Owen, on his quest to find
dream girl Emily.

Today, we are joined by none other than
Emily.

How is this still happening?

Emily, good to have you. Welcome to the
podcast. This is Ben. This is not good.

Now, I just want to make things clear,
just to clarify.

You are not the Emily, are you? Not
Dream Girl, Emily?

Uh, no.

No, pretty not. From what you've just
told me, you are the Emily who he

to help him find her, and in the process
was branded, uh, toxic incel. True

crime Ed Sheeran and Northern Don Juan,
the thirstiest man on campus.

You're going to want to see them. To
what extent do you think that his

actually warranted this response?

Well, not at all. I don't think it's
warranted. You feel a little

Very. Yeah, I've been really selfish.

Look, he's blocked my number. Oh, well,
that sounds like his first rational

decision. So what were you trying to
prove? Please, I'm just here because I

to apologize to him, to everyone.

I know I've been an asshole.

No swearing, please. We're pre -watched.
Cheryl, the disclaimer.

Owen, if you're listening, my final
presentation is tomorrow.

Please come.

I think it might help clarify a few
things.

And I really am very sorry, but I think
I can explain. She hopes she can

explain. All will be revealed. Tomorrow,
2 p .m., the Solar Hall will be live on

the ground, bringing the best coverage.
Follow us and follow me for more at

lauralewisglobalmedia .com. Shall I run
the tags?

I'm running the tags. The tags? Yeah.

Down below, comment, like, subscribe.

Thanks for watching. Stay tuned for
more.

I think you should go.

You're all right.

Am I agreed?

Yeah, well, I've heard enough from her,
actually.

Thanks a lot.

Can't get any worse.

Well, yeah, but somehow it always does.

Listen, guys, thanks for your interest
in that, but I'm not going to go, OK?

So did time stand still with this one?

No, it didn't actually.

It was fast.

Well, there you go.

Don't bother then.

Therefore, though today's practices of
self -care are classified as modern and

innovative, it's actually a direct
rephrasing of ideas grounded in Jungian

theory. These theories take a holistic
approach in raising the individual

experience, ideas of psyche, shadow
work, and spiritual longing, which we

recognize today.

Don't throw it all away on a dopamine
hit.

The fleeting rush of telling someone I
love you.

Actions have consequences.

A butterfly who flaps its wings.

Sorry.

Sound familiar?

Thank you.

All right, it's fine.

We are live. We are here at Stoller
Hall. Emily Raine is about...

Tony Morrison declared romantic love to
be one of the most destructive ideas

in the history of human thought.

I have been obsessed with this idea.

My thesis sought to establish a link
between romantic attachment and self

-sabotaging behavior.

Madness, to quote Freud.

And I succeeded.

However, my findings are not in response
to my case study, but to my true

subject.

In the latter stages of my research, it
became apparent that I had fallen for my

original case study.

And in doing so, made self -sabotage a
foregone conclusion.

One you're witnessing right now.

Owen didn't hack the system.

I gave him the emails.

I thought it wasn't cool to disprove my
own hypothesis, and I was wrong.

And I'm sorry.

Romantic attachment may be an
evolutionary hangover, but I think it's

human connection and growth.

I know a psychologist cannot accurately
analyze themselves, but it's my opinion

that it's impossible to externally
monitor love.

From the outside, it all seems...

incoherent, illogical and impractical
and only from the inside does it make

complete sense.

What was all that about?

I'm trying to apologise.

But that wasn't for me, was it? That was
for them.

No, we're going to hear the whole thing.

Are you kidding? I just threw a grenade
at my life doing a grand gesture trying

to get your attention.

So you think grand gestures is what I
want?

I want people to be honest with me.

I mean, that's what I want. I want you
to be honest with me. Just tell me how

you feel.

I literally just said it in front of a
whole room full of... I like you. I

like...

I like how you always ask questions, and
I like how you tuck your hands into

your sleeves when you're nervous, and I
like how you talk so passionately and so

boringly about the Champions League, and
your relentlessly positive outlook on

love is unwell, but you make it seem
healthy, and you're kind, and you're

you make me laugh, and you made me see
the world in colors I never knew

You might have the wrong idea.

I've only come here because, like, I got
a message from your dad.

So... Right.

buttons now

you're

up

to the future, call your blood.

Space and time in a circle.

Then I could catch you up, tap your
shoulder off the coast.

I've seen a thousand different people.

And I've been talking my you to us so
long

ago by me asking for the opening line I

should have known and I never told you
about the mold

that climbs my walls and now I think I
saw your face in a little

cluster down the hall if only I could

call

I'm going to say Emily!

Emily!

That I've been driving when you were
right under my

notion. I just noticed that little
shortcut in

your eye. Gotta jump right through it
and live our lives on

the other side.

No compromise.

Into the future, call your bluff.

We space in time circles.

Then I could catch you up. Tap your
shoulder off the cuff.

I've been a thousand different people.