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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,322 --> 00:00:07,548 Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down? 2 00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:11,635 Hey, here's an idea. Why don't we use our wedding china today? 3 00:00:11,703 --> 00:00:14,972 No, I think we should save our china for something really special. 4 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,474 Like if the queen of England comes over. 5 00:00:17,959 --> 00:00:21,061 Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint. 6 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,273 What if something breaks? They're expensive. 7 00:00:24,382 --> 00:00:27,526 What is the point of having them if we never use them? 8 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,654 Okay. But if something breaks and then the queen comes over... 9 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,491 - I will explain it to her. - Like I'd let you talk to the queen. 10 00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:39,455 The parade is really good this year. 11 00:00:39,522 --> 00:00:42,416 Man, those horses can crap. 12 00:00:42,984 --> 00:00:45,586 Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma. 13 00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:50,841 Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa! 14 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,969 Here's the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap... 15 00:00:54,079 --> 00:00:56,305 Days of our Lives. 16 00:00:59,417 --> 00:01:01,685 Oh, my God! 17 00:01:01,753 --> 00:01:04,505 Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days ofour Lives? 18 00:01:04,506 --> 00:01:08,901 I forgot! I'm supposed to be there! 19 00:01:10,095 --> 00:01:13,947 I can't believe I forgot! I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! 20 00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:19,495 Stupid long sleeves! 21 00:01:20,772 --> 00:01:23,749 - What are you gonna do? - I'll come up with a good reason... 22 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,501 why I wasn't there. 23 00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:28,462 The producers are gonna be mad. They sat us down and said: 24 00:01:28,530 --> 00:01:33,675 "Everyone has to be there, 6 a.m. Sharp. That means you, Tribbiani." 25 00:01:33,743 --> 00:01:36,678 Like I was some kind of idiot. 26 00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:40,724 - Well, you proved them wrong. - Yeah. 27 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:33,318 Oh, Emma. 28 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:36,530 This is your first Thanksgiving. 29 00:02:36,598 --> 00:02:39,074 What are you thankful for? 30 00:02:39,142 --> 00:02:41,285 Mommy's boobies? 31 00:02:41,978 --> 00:02:44,788 A lot of people are thankful for those. 32 00:02:47,108 --> 00:02:49,126 Hello? Rachel? 33 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,460 Who is it? 34 00:02:50,528 --> 00:02:53,714 It's your favorite sister. 35 00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:56,258 - Jill? - Amy! 36 00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:58,343 Hide my rings. 37 00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:06,476 Amy! Happy Thanksgiving. 38 00:03:11,216 --> 00:03:13,358 Do you have a hair straightener? 39 00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:16,612 Um... Hi. 40 00:03:16,846 --> 00:03:18,238 - Hi. - Hi. 41 00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:20,782 Hair straightener. 42 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:25,329 - I haven't seen you in, like, a year. - I know. I know. I've just been crazed. 43 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:28,749 Well, me too. I had a baby. 44 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,919 I decorated Dad's office. 45 00:03:31,986 --> 00:03:37,966 Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. 46 00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:41,637 About that hair straightener, honey, I really need one. 47 00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:43,413 I'm gonna have dinner at my boyfriend's house. 48 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,684 - Oh, my God. - Uh-huh. 49 00:03:47,752 --> 00:03:50,229 Is this Emmett? 50 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,109 It's Emma. 51 00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:57,736 It's a girl? 52 00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:02,282 - Hey, Amy. - Amy, you remember Ross? 53 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:05,327 Not really. 54 00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:09,206 But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. 55 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,044 That was me. 56 00:04:14,445 --> 00:04:18,590 No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her... 57 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,634 since, like, the ninth grade. 58 00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:22,219 Still me. 59 00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:24,721 No, I'm not talking about you. 60 00:04:24,789 --> 00:04:27,724 It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro. 61 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:31,937 Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me! 62 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:40,153 Careful. Careful. 63 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,322 Careful! 64 00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:45,033 I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives... 65 00:04:45,101 --> 00:04:47,619 I'll be careful until told otherwise. 66 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,291 - This isn't the china we picked out. - I know. 67 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:55,836 After you left the store, I chose different ones. 68 00:04:56,362 --> 00:05:00,465 - Why? - Your taste is a little feminine for me. 69 00:05:00,575 --> 00:05:03,218 Suddenly flowers are feminine? 70 00:05:04,245 --> 00:05:07,264 Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! 71 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,808 - Happy Thanksgiving. Pheebs! - What's going on, Joe? 72 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,227 Listen, I need a good lie. 73 00:05:12,295 --> 00:05:13,770 Okay. 74 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:18,066 How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing, you know? 75 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:22,112 You can see the strings, people! 76 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:26,158 No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today. 77 00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:29,119 - Honey, you stink at lying. - I do not. 78 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:32,664 Really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffeehouse... 79 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:36,501 I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it? 80 00:05:37,862 --> 00:05:40,172 Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse... 81 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,301 and a raccoon ran in and went straight for your muffin. I said: 82 00:05:44,369 --> 00:05:47,763 "Hey, don't eat that! That's Phoebe's!" And he said... 83 00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:53,810 He said, "Joey, you stink at lying." What am I gonna do? 84 00:05:53,878 --> 00:05:56,688 Don't worry. We'll come up with a lie. I'll help you. 85 00:05:56,798 --> 00:06:00,525 - Great. That'd be great. Thank you. - Sure. What was the work thing? 86 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,152 Uh... 87 00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:05,447 - "Pick up Grandma at the airport." - Oh, man! 88 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,994 She's precious. 89 00:06:11,396 --> 00:06:15,248 Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose? 90 00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:17,334 Amy... 91 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,837 Yes, I do. I really do. 92 00:06:25,159 --> 00:06:26,843 Hello? 93 00:06:26,911 --> 00:06:30,555 Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? 94 00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,974 Sure. We don't live there, but... 95 00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:37,938 Seriously? It's just these rooms? 96 00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:42,484 - I thought you were a doctor. - Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D. 97 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:44,903 Ew! 98 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:51,576 God, she is unbelievable. 99 00:06:51,686 --> 00:06:54,871 I know. I mean, a Ph.D. Is just as good as an MD. 100 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,832 Sure, Ross, yeah! 101 00:06:56,899 --> 00:07:01,420 If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. 102 00:07:03,281 --> 00:07:05,465 - Stupid Thanksgiving. - What? 103 00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:08,802 - What? What happened? - My boyfriend canceled on me. 104 00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:11,471 I mean, I finally find a real relationship. 105 00:07:11,539 --> 00:07:16,601 Someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! 106 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:20,021 I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys. 107 00:07:20,381 --> 00:07:22,232 Don't say that. 108 00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:26,111 God, I was so looking forward to this. 109 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,322 It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. 110 00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:31,908 We were gonna have sushi. 111 00:07:32,894 --> 00:07:36,788 Amy, don't cry. 112 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:40,667 - Ross, can I talk to you in private? - Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or? 113 00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:48,550 Look, I was thinking, if it's okay with Monica... 114 00:07:48,618 --> 00:07:51,303 I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. 115 00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:57,559 I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. 116 00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:01,813 Look, I know she's a little tough to take. 117 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:06,318 But she has nowhere else to go, and she's my sister. She's Emma's aunt. 118 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:11,490 - And I would like them to bond. - I don't want them bonding too much. 119 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:14,201 I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. 120 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:18,371 Ross, she may need one. We're just gonna have to make our peace with that! 121 00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:27,547 - Hi! - Hey. 122 00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:30,926 Hey, you guys. This is my sister Amy. 123 00:08:30,993 --> 00:08:34,554 This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and you know Mon. 124 00:08:34,622 --> 00:08:36,890 - Hi. - Oh, my God. 125 00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:39,267 You're on Days of our Lives! 126 00:08:39,335 --> 00:08:40,810 Yeah. 127 00:08:40,878 --> 00:08:44,397 Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you. 128 00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:48,902 Happy Thanksgiving. 129 00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:51,780 - Hey. - Hi. 130 00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:57,160 So welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma? 131 00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,497 Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma. 132 00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:06,044 - Phoebe. - That's a funny noise. 133 00:09:09,657 --> 00:09:13,593 - Pheebs? I still need some help here. - Right. Okay. 134 00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:18,181 So it's not just the lie you tell, but it's the way you tell it. For example... 135 00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:21,685 if you look at the ground when you talk, people know you're lying. 136 00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:26,565 I don't know why this is so hard for me. Lying is basically just acting... 137 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:30,151 and I am a terrific actor. - You are a terrific actor. 138 00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:36,908 - Hey. Where's the baby? - We just put her down for a nap. 139 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:40,787 Listen, I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? 140 00:09:40,897 --> 00:09:43,707 If you guys died! 141 00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,210 Thank you, Amy. 142 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,255 No, no, then I would get the baby. 143 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:54,759 It would be just like a movie. At first I wouldn't know what to do with her. 144 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:59,055 And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married. 145 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,600 That's a great movie! 146 00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:06,229 Yeah. Listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything... 147 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,815 because, you know, you'd be dead. 148 00:10:08,883 --> 00:10:11,276 But I was thinking about changing her name. 149 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,862 I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. 150 00:10:15,389 --> 00:10:17,115 Emma. 151 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,784 Emma? Ross wants you. 152 00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:24,205 Phoebe! 153 00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:28,501 Why does she keep making that noise? 154 00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:33,381 Honey, I don't know how to tell you this... 155 00:10:33,449 --> 00:10:37,886 but if something were to happen to Ross or myself... 156 00:10:37,995 --> 00:10:41,348 you wouldn't get the baby. - Well, who would? 157 00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:45,644 Well, we haven't officially asked them yet... 158 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,521 but we would want Monica and Chandler. 159 00:10:48,589 --> 00:10:50,607 I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma. 160 00:10:50,675 --> 00:10:53,068 Oh, my God, I'm so moved. 161 00:10:53,177 --> 00:10:55,945 I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die... 162 00:10:56,013 --> 00:10:58,615 and I don't get your baby? 163 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:02,160 Amy, see, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. 164 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:06,581 We see them every day. And truthfully, you don't seem connected to the baby. 165 00:11:06,691 --> 00:11:10,377 Connected? To what? She's a lump. 166 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:15,840 You know, guys, I've gotta say this means so much to me. 167 00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:19,344 I mean, that you would trust me with your child. 168 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,138 I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been... 169 00:11:22,206 --> 00:11:24,641 trying to have a baby of our own. 170 00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:30,021 You know, I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but... 171 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,608 That you two... 172 00:11:34,051 --> 00:11:37,278 - That you two... - This guy? 173 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,073 Seriously? 174 00:11:45,396 --> 00:11:47,706 Okay, it's time for dinner. 175 00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:50,583 Everyone, we're using our fancy china... 176 00:11:50,651 --> 00:11:54,671 and it's very expensive, so please be careful. 177 00:11:55,865 --> 00:12:00,677 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa... 178 00:12:01,412 --> 00:12:05,223 Okay, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well-received. 179 00:12:12,757 --> 00:12:14,649 Hey! 180 00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:18,737 How come my plate's less fancy than everyone else's? 181 00:12:19,764 --> 00:12:22,449 Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? 182 00:12:22,516 --> 00:12:25,744 No, honey. That's a special plate. 183 00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:29,622 See, it's a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. 184 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:33,960 I can't believe I won! 185 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:38,214 You know, this is such a slap in the face. I mean, I'm your sister... 186 00:12:38,282 --> 00:12:42,343 and you would give your baby to these strangers over me. 187 00:12:42,453 --> 00:12:45,054 Monica is Ross' sister. 188 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:49,392 No, Ross' sister was really fat. 189 00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,353 That was me. 190 00:12:52,463 --> 00:12:57,525 No, she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy... 191 00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,069 Amy, you've got to stop doing that! 192 00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:09,037 Okay, listen, I know you're having a bit of a family crisis... 193 00:13:09,105 --> 00:13:11,790 but you don't have to take it out on the plates. 194 00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:14,793 I mean, in fact, I think that everyone... 195 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:18,880 should cut their food like this: 196 00:13:21,075 --> 00:13:24,093 Now, see? This way, you protect the plates... 197 00:13:24,328 --> 00:13:26,346 and let's face it, you have fun. 198 00:13:27,998 --> 00:13:30,892 Okay, how about this? If you guys die... 199 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,896 and the crazy plate lady dies... 200 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:39,108 then do I get the baby? - No, if crazy plate lady... 201 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:45,698 If Monica dies, then I would get Emma. Right? 202 00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:51,454 - Well, actually... - Actually what? 203 00:13:51,522 --> 00:13:55,542 It's just... It's just that in that case... 204 00:13:55,609 --> 00:13:57,627 then Emma would go to my parents. 205 00:13:58,028 --> 00:14:00,255 - What? - Hurts, doesn't it? 206 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:07,011 Who has to die for me to get her? 207 00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:17,856 So if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma? 208 00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:20,483 No, that is not what we're saying. 209 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,402 Yeah, he's lying. He looked down. 210 00:14:24,847 --> 00:14:27,073 Well, what's wrong with me? Am I incompetent? 211 00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:30,869 Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you! 212 00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:38,668 You're taking this the wrong way. We think you'll be a wonderful parent. 213 00:14:38,736 --> 00:14:42,505 It's just... You're more the, you know, fun parent. 214 00:14:42,573 --> 00:14:46,885 Yeah, and we wanna make sure Emma also has someone like Monica... 215 00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:48,928 who's more of a disciplinarian. 216 00:14:48,996 --> 00:14:51,973 Someone who can be firm and strict. 217 00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,726 That's not how you see me, is it? 218 00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:58,354 No, you're all about the fun. 219 00:15:04,428 --> 00:15:08,197 I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable? 220 00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:11,117 No. You both are equally capable. 221 00:15:11,185 --> 00:15:13,870 It's just you're strongest when you're together. 222 00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:17,916 Okay. So if we both had Emma, and I died... 223 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,293 she'd have to give her up. 224 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,588 Sure. Monica would have to give her up. 225 00:15:24,073 --> 00:15:27,091 I lie better than that, right? 226 00:15:28,369 --> 00:15:32,430 Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. 227 00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:36,684 Then my wife dies. Then Emma, the one tiny ray of hope left in my life... 228 00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:40,355 gets taken away from me? - There's your movie. 229 00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:46,736 Hey, there you are. 230 00:15:46,804 --> 00:15:50,114 - You disappeared after dinner. - Did somebody miss me? 231 00:15:50,224 --> 00:15:53,242 Was there a child to raise poorly? 232 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,995 Ross and Rachel don't know what they're saying. 233 00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:58,081 It's not like they're so responsible. 234 00:15:58,148 --> 00:16:02,710 Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom. 235 00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:08,549 No, but they're right. I'm not a strong father figure, and I never will be. 236 00:16:08,659 --> 00:16:11,386 No, you learn these things. You grow into it. 237 00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,388 Yeah, but it's not who I am. 238 00:16:13,497 --> 00:16:18,726 Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. And it's true. 239 00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:21,854 - And look, everybody knows it. - I don't know it. 240 00:16:21,922 --> 00:16:25,608 I wanna have a kid with you because I think you'll be an amazing dad. 241 00:16:25,676 --> 00:16:28,403 At the fun parts and at the hard parts. 242 00:16:28,512 --> 00:16:32,115 Well, can you picture me saying, "Go to your room, you're grounded"? 243 00:16:32,349 --> 00:16:35,326 Can you hear me say, "You're grounded"? 244 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:37,954 You said that to me last week. 245 00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:43,292 How hard is it? "No shoes on the furniture!" 246 00:16:48,157 --> 00:16:53,970 The producer from Days left a message asking why I wasn't at the parade. 247 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:58,349 They said everybody's really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! 248 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:02,437 It's okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. 249 00:17:02,546 --> 00:17:06,107 It's easy to remember, and it doesn't invite a lot of questions. 250 00:17:06,216 --> 00:17:10,153 You weren't at the parade, because you had a family emergency. 251 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,905 I like that! Yeah! 252 00:17:12,973 --> 00:17:15,950 I wasn't at the parade, because I had a family emergency. 253 00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:17,201 What happened? 254 00:17:17,311 --> 00:17:21,372 - My sister's raccoon came... - No, nothing with a raccoon! 255 00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:27,336 - Wait, what are you doing? - Setting the table. 256 00:17:27,404 --> 00:17:30,882 We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too. 257 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:35,136 How nice. Maybe later we can all blow our noses on my wedding dress. 258 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,729 Hey, dude, you okay? Sorry about before. 259 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:49,108 That's okay. You're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. 260 00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:53,821 But it did hurt my feelings, and I want you to know that if I die... 261 00:17:53,889 --> 00:17:56,240 you don't get Joey. 262 00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:12,048 In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you. 263 00:18:15,077 --> 00:18:17,929 You know, this is just... This is classic Rachel. 264 00:18:18,038 --> 00:18:22,600 Right. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby? 265 00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:28,106 This might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel. 266 00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,359 I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career... 267 00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:35,613 - What career? - I'm a decorator. 268 00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:39,200 You decorate Dad's office and now you're a decorator? 269 00:18:39,268 --> 00:18:44,038 Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear. 270 00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:50,670 - Why can't you ever be supportive? - You want to talk supportive? 271 00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:54,632 You didn't come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby! 272 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:58,803 You didn't come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! 273 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:02,473 I did the first time. 274 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:08,104 You know what? You want to know why I am not giving Emily to you? 275 00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:10,690 - Emma. - Whose side are you on?! 276 00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:16,612 I'm not giving you Emma, because you can't handle the responsibility of a child. 277 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:19,073 Well, how hard could it be? You do it. 278 00:19:19,183 --> 00:19:21,117 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. 279 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:28,166 You wanna know why you don't want me to have the baby? 280 00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:30,585 Because you don't want me to be happy. 281 00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:34,380 - You have always been jealous of me. - Jealous of what? 282 00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:38,259 Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? 283 00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:41,429 Your total disregard for other people's feelings? 284 00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:43,973 To name a few. 285 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,476 You've always been like this. 286 00:19:47,544 --> 00:19:51,063 You had to have everything, and I couldn't have anything. 287 00:19:51,131 --> 00:19:54,442 Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. 288 00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:57,486 I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me? 289 00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:00,156 Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him! 290 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,325 Come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it. 291 00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:06,704 I cannot believe that I invited you here today! 292 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:10,791 Yeah, well, you know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister... 293 00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:15,796 gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail? 294 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,759 It's 45. 295 00:20:21,036 --> 00:20:22,970 You bitch. 296 00:20:25,415 --> 00:20:27,475 You just think you're so perfect... 297 00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:31,354 with your new baby and your small apartment. 298 00:20:32,714 --> 00:20:37,318 Well, let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute. 299 00:20:39,263 --> 00:20:43,074 Too far, Amy. Too far. 300 00:20:45,185 --> 00:20:47,328 - You take that back. - No. 301 00:20:47,437 --> 00:20:49,956 - Take it back! - No. What are you gonna do? Make me? 302 00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:53,084 Hey, man, I work out! 303 00:20:54,570 --> 00:20:56,587 - So do I. - I do Pilates. 304 00:20:56,697 --> 00:20:58,506 - I do yoga. - Bring it on! 305 00:20:58,949 --> 00:21:01,926 Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! 306 00:21:04,288 --> 00:21:06,806 - Did you just push me? - Yeah, I think I did. 307 00:21:06,915 --> 00:21:08,307 All right, that's it. 308 00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:11,310 Forget the bubble wrap! There isn't time! 309 00:21:13,463 --> 00:21:15,356 Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy! 310 00:21:19,428 --> 00:21:22,822 - Shouldn't we stop this? - Are you out of your mind? 311 00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:25,366 Let's throw some Jell-O on them! 312 00:21:29,104 --> 00:21:31,664 Gross! 313 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:48,306 All right, that is it! This is our apartment, and you cannot behave this way! 314 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:51,225 If you can't act your age, you shouldn't be here at all. 315 00:21:51,335 --> 00:21:56,314 Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out... 316 00:21:57,090 --> 00:22:02,278 but they're important to Monica. And I want you to apologize to her now. 317 00:22:02,429 --> 00:22:05,072 - I'm sorry. - Mon, I'm so sorry. 318 00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:07,158 Okay. That's better. 319 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:10,703 Now, I want you to apologize to each other and mean it. 320 00:22:11,188 --> 00:22:12,705 - Sorry. - Sorry. 321 00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:16,250 By the way, that fight was totally arousing. 322 00:22:20,364 --> 00:22:22,381 Dude, well done. 323 00:22:22,491 --> 00:22:27,636 If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies, you can totally take care of Emma. 324 00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:30,139 Yeah? Well, thanks. 325 00:22:30,540 --> 00:22:33,768 So... So now do I get Joey? 326 00:22:35,545 --> 00:22:40,483 Okay. But you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. 327 00:22:45,514 --> 00:22:47,782 - Are you okay, Mon? - Uh-huh. 328 00:22:47,849 --> 00:22:51,660 I mean, these things happen. I mean, it's just a plate. 329 00:22:51,728 --> 00:22:55,581 - It's not like somebody died. - It's all right. You can mourn. 330 00:22:55,857 --> 00:22:59,919 Thank you. It was so beautiful! 331 00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:04,298 I'm gonna go to Joey's and get the pies. 332 00:23:04,408 --> 00:23:08,260 Actually, not pies. It's just pie. 333 00:23:09,538 --> 00:23:11,847 I don't care. 334 00:23:11,915 --> 00:23:15,601 Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold. 335 00:23:19,548 --> 00:23:21,774 Look, Amy... 336 00:23:22,134 --> 00:23:23,818 we got a little... 337 00:23:23,885 --> 00:23:26,821 a little out-of-control over there. 338 00:23:27,431 --> 00:23:28,989 And I'm sorry. 339 00:23:29,057 --> 00:23:31,742 You're my sister... 340 00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:34,328 and if it really means that much to you... 341 00:23:34,563 --> 00:23:37,623 - So you're gonna give me the baby? - No, I was... 342 00:23:37,691 --> 00:23:40,876 I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount. 343 00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:45,172 You are not gonna regret this. 344 00:23:47,951 --> 00:23:51,262 - She needs changing. - No, no, no. I'll get her. 345 00:23:51,371 --> 00:23:55,975 I am super confident, totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma. 346 00:23:56,043 --> 00:24:00,521 I'll be right there, Emma! Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. 347 00:24:05,969 --> 00:24:09,155 Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one who dies first. 348 00:24:20,484 --> 00:24:24,253 - Does Monica know about her plates? - Nope. 349 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,963 - Broke them all, huh? - Yep. 350 00:24:26,073 --> 00:24:28,007 - You gonna tell her? - Nope. 351 00:24:29,993 --> 00:24:33,679 Hey. So I'm gonna put the plates back. 352 00:24:33,747 --> 00:24:37,391 I think you're right. We shouldn't use these plates for a long time. 353 00:24:37,501 --> 00:24:41,103 - Like only if the queen comes? - Maybe not even then. 354 00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:43,689 Hey. I did it. 355 00:24:43,799 --> 00:24:47,401 I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it. 356 00:24:47,469 --> 00:24:52,239 - Thanks for teaching me how to lie. - No problem. Next week, stealing. 357 00:24:53,517 --> 00:24:56,577 - Bye, plates. - You told her you broke all the plates? 358 00:24:58,814 --> 00:25:01,749 What?! Something happened with the plates? 359 00:25:02,317 --> 00:25:07,129 Yeah, this raccoon came in...29711

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