All language subtitles for Breeders.S04E03.No.Age.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Gave us a load of free ones.
I told them that it's...

Told them what?

- Just... how much we like condiments.
- Mmm.

- This is nice.
- Mmm.

Two haddock, one saveloy!

Ah. This is good fish.

Mmm! Mm!

Batter's good and all.

And the chips. Good chips.

- Good...
- Good color?

Thank you. Not too pale.

You wanted me to do something,
so this is something we're doing,

so let's just get this done
and forget about it, okay?

Move on.

Great.

But your 50th birthday, though...

- You don't need to keep saying it.
- What?

The fucking number, Luke.
You know what. Fucking 50.

Can you pass me one of
the five billion vinegars, please?

Thanks very much.

Fuck's sake.

Two beef pies, one cod roe!

Would've thought you'd have
fish today, Luke.

- Special occasion.
- He's a vegetarian.

Mmm. Fish, though. I mean...

Fish actually grieve their dead.

- Do they?
- They release stress hormone.

Jesus Christ, Luke.

Sorry, Hasan said your 50th, love.

Happy Birthday.

- Well...
- Happy Birthday!

The big 5-0!

Thanks, everyone.

One steak pie, two cod!

You gonna try 'em on?

I'm mid-ginger nut.

I can't stand looking
at those other things anymore.

They turn my stomach.

There's nothing wrong with these.

They make you look like you never bathe.

Like a hippy or a squirrel.

You can wear your new shoes
to your 80th party, Grandad.

There's not enough time
to break them in.

Brogues are notoriously stiff.

No one's ever run a marathon in brogues.

We're getting our photo taken tomorrow.

They've got a photographer
coming in. Professional.

He took one of those photos
of Dodi and Diana on the boat.

But he mainly does
this sort of thing now.

I'll get it.

Hello.

Holly. I'm here to do Jim's hair.

Am I coming in,

or is he gonna stick his head
around the door and I'll do it here?

Oh, sorry.

Okay, your vehicle
breaks down in a tunnel...

- Spooky.
- What would you do first?

A, get out of the car
and stand behind it

to show other drivers you're not moving.

Obviously not. That is just mental.

B, switch on your hazards
and call your breakdown company.

All right, shit.

Okay. Please pass, Luke.

Please, I don't wanna be
one of those mums

that gives birth on the floor of a bus.

Don't worry, I will pass.

- I love you.
- Love you, too.

Go.

- Thanks for this.
- You're welcome.

Mate, do you not want to drive?

No, I should...

I'll keep revising in the car.

Right.

Okay.

It's quite the process.

She's gonna blast me ends
in a minute with a men's dryer.

I got a special hairdryer for the guys.

They got stronger hair,
haven't they, men?

Only need a little breeze
for the ladies.

Knock them over otherwise.

I'm just gonna
walk around the perimeter.

One of the great English walks, that.

Bye, Granny.

Fifteen and some shrapnel.

I'm afraid the accumulator
didn't come up though.

Fifteen quid's not bad at all.
Thanks, Holly.

I can't get to the bookies' now,
so Holly goes for me.

Okay, this whole thing
makes more sense now.

What?

He's only got like eight hairs.

And I'm working my magic
on all eight of them,

thank you very much.

She can do yours after.

But only eight.

You've gotta pick your favorites.

You've got great hair.

I could do yours for real.

I'm always after people to practice on
for sixth form.

Thank you, Holly.

Holly's helping organize
my 80th birthday party.

You two should swap numbers.

Chat sausage roles
and quiche and whatnot.

Yeah. Go on then.

Stick your number in there.

Buckle up, Jim.

And you've come to us
via the inimitable Darren.

Yeah. There can only be one Darren.

Thank God.

And he's your business partner?
Silent partner?

I mean, silent's the goal, yeah.

If I can get him to shut up
for five minutes.

- Your coffee.
- Gosh.

Wow. Thanks.

Thank you. Thanks.

Oh, is that for me too?
Thanks, thanks.

It's lovely.

Thanks.

Thanks. Thank you.

Please.

So, we're super keen
to throw open the doors here.

Get as much wisdom in the room
as possible.

Sorry, you okay?

Yeah. I'm just gonna
let it cool down for a bit

'cause it's very, very hot.

What we're excited by

is the sheer breadth of your experience.

We think that that is something
we could really feed from here.

Great. Well, I would love to...

well...

feed you, I suppose.

That's great.

- Yeah. She's great.
- Yeah.

Mmm. That smells complicated.

- How was it?
- I got it. They loved me.

- Yes.
- Fucking great. Well done.

They offered me the job on the spot.
They didn't even see other candidates.

Mate, well, that calls for a drink.

Luke has some good news too.

Oh, yeah.

I passed my theory.

Oh, Lukie, that's amazing.
You must be so relieved.

Yeah, I am.

Still gotta do my practical.

You'll be fine.

- Maya, is apple juice all right?
- Yeah, thanks.

Did you get one of these?

What am I looking at?

It's a walking holiday, Paul.
Look at them.

They seem very happy.

This is my demographic now? These guys?

Swimming costume off.

I'm going on holiday
in a fucking cagoule now, am I?

Look, just chuck it. It's junk.

I get that stuff all the time.

Am I on some sort of register?

Fucking hope not.

They're gonna try and sell me a chair
for the shower next, aren't they?

Sounds fucking lovely, to be fair.

- Can you take them?
- Yeah.

Shit, I just remembered. I've got to get
more booze for Dad's thing.

Drink up, drink up.

You know he's started having
his hair done regularly?

Can you get blue rinse for a bald head?

Holly says no one has them anymore.

They all get this demi-wave thing.

Your hair thins as you age.

You lose like 70% volume.

Holly says it's better
to chop it off after a certain point.

- It's just wisps otherwise.
- Right.

Holly's Grandad's hairdresser.

Well, not just Grandad's.
She does all of them.

She's paying her way through sixth form.

She's full-time now.
Well, four days a week.

Right. A toast to Mum and Luke.

Mum and Luke.

Yes!

Play your cards right, you'll be
driving her to work on her first day.

Lovely.

Just look over to me again, Baljeet.

- How long is this gonna take?
- And thanks.

They can't rush it, Jim.

It's a proper portrait.

Portrait?

Who am I?
Henry the fucking Eighth?

I don't know why you won't
put your new shoes on?

Jesus, Jackie, they're not gonna get
me shoes in it, are they?

It'll be from the knees up.

Well, what if it isn't?

What if it's, you know,
what's it called? Full frontal?

Full length.

- All right, Holly?
- Hello.

I'm gonna give Leslie a quick zhuzh.

She doesn't need a zhuzh.

She needs a defibrillator.

Be nice for Luke and Ava
to have a proper photo of us.

They've already got one of us.

In Mitcham, at the carvery.

What? And you'd want that printed
alongside your obituary, would you?

Look,
Jimmy's getting his shoe in it.

Big smile.

I don't know why you won't put...

Because they're me last shoes,
aren't they?

I've had these ones seven years,

so the next pair will be me last.

They're a dead man's shoes.

Just a pair of shoes.

It's the pair of shoes
I'm gonna be buried in.

Well, I'm not burying you
in those old ones.

I'd rather you went in barefoot
or in my slippers.

I can't put the new ones on, Jackie.

Not yet.

Right.
Let's try a fun one, shall we?

Brilliant.

- For crying out loud.
- Next victim, please.

Hey! Are they finished?

No, they're still queuing.

Is Mr. January doing
his nude shots?

Yes, it's getting very steamy in there.

I was gonna get a tea, if you want one.

Sure.

Susie's back in town. Hooray!

Hey!

What was it, a wedding? Any good?

Six out of 10, could do better.

God, you forget the vicar
might be judging you.

They didn't bring out
those canapes quick enough.

It's like, I'm not staying long, lads.
Get them arancini balls moving.

I only started coming
for a bit of extra cash.

But, turns out, I love old people.

They are excellent.
The ones I know anyway.

They're just so good at chilling.

Look at them.

They've been there for hours.
Just looking, thinking.

Appreciating the small things.

Is it possible that
they can't actually get up?

Maybe we should check their pulses.

Are you disrespecting Gwen and Michael?

You're lucky Gwen ain't got
her hearing aids in.

That's all I want.

You know, simple stuff.

Nice house,

nice girlfriend, nice dog.

I've always wanted a dog,
but it wouldn't be fair on it.

Living in the city?

No, living with my dad.

So, what do you do for fun?

I don't know.

I've never been great at having fun.

Maybe I'm too serious.

Bollocks. You're hilarious.

But, I mean, you should have a hobby.

Like what?

I don't know. Pick one.

Roller-skating?

- Roller-skating?
- Yeah.

I'm haven't been either,

so we could break our legs together?

They're probably done by now.
And I said that... I should go in.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, I'll see you at the party, then.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Bag.

- Hi. What can I get you?
- Hi...

A red wine, please.

Hi, Darren.

Yeah, it went brilliantly. Thanks. Yeah.

Oh. Did they? That's good.

Sorry, what do you mean?

Are you joking me?

You better be fucking joking me, Darren.

I don't even think I should look,

you know, until I've passed.

You won't jinx yourself

by staring at a Renault Clio
for 10 minutes.

I sort of wanna know who the owner was.

Yeah, you probably don't.

- How you getting on?
- Jesus.

Yeah, just looking. Cheers. Yeah.

Yeah. For you, is it?
A little back and forth to uni?

Just want the safest one, really.
It's for a baby.

Don't let a baby drive it,
for God's sake.

They haven't got
the hand-eye coordination.

That's exciting stuff.

Yeah. Congratulations.

We'll just have a little mooch about.

- You're gonna wanna look at boot space.
- Got you.

- Yeah. Babies need a lot of kit.
- Right.

Whether you go out
for three hours or three weeks,

it's the same amount of stuff.

Come on, let's have a look.

Why did you...

We're not gonna buy this one.

You could fit in there.

And he's gonna wanna, isn't he?

Get a bit of peace and quiet.

Come on, let's have a poke around
of her insides, shall we?

I'm gonna fucking kill him.

Well, I'll be your alibi.

Well, they'll believe me.
Vicar's privilege.

- And he definitely knew before?
- Yeah. They told him.

They've had shit from their HR guys
about ageism or whatever,

so he's wheeled me in like a rescue hag.

They just needed someone
over... my age.

Over 50?

You're gonna have to say it
at some point.

Let's get another 50 bottles
of this then.

- All right. I'm on it.
- It's nearly done.

Did anything grab you back there?

Quite liked the idea of being
locked in a boot.

No, me too.

Like a cross between
a spa and a kidnapping.

You're driving.

- What?
- Ta.

No, I...

You all right?

Yeah, just...

Sometimes I feel like my elbows
get in the way.

Where do you put yours?

- Where do I put them?
- Yeah.

In the glove compartment.
That way I know where they are.

Right. He's letting you out.

- So, do you want to go right here?
- Yeah.

Great.

Good, good, good.

Thanks, mate.

Lovely.

Very good. Very good, mate.

Pick up your speed a little.

This is a really fast road.

It's not really fast. It's a 30.
So, just...

- Put your foot down, mate.
- Dad, I can't. I need to stop.

Luke, just calm down,
keep going straight along this road.

Shit, I can't, Dad. I can't.
I need to pull over.

Luke, you don't have to pull over.

Listen to what I'm telling you, Dad.
I can't do it.

Luke, calm the fuck down!

There's no need to pull over.

- I'm not doing that.
- Luke! Carry on. Don't fucking stop.

You all right?

I can't do it, Dad.

It would help if you sat in the car.

No. I mean I can't do any of it.

I'm not... I'm not ready.

Well, you're going to have to be.
Because it's happening, son.

And it's happening pretty fucking soon.

So I just, I learn to drive,
and then I get car,

and then I'm just a dad then, am I?

Basically, yes.

It's scary, I know. I'm still scared.
That bit never goes.

- Right, what should I say?
- Short and sweet.

- Just, "Fuck off."
- Yeah!

Subject's heading. Nothing else.

Perfect. That will really freak 'em out.

Your skills are wasted on Jesus.

"Fuck off!"

Send!

You don't have to feel

ready for it 'cause no one does.

You just...

You just do it.

You get up in the morning

and you just do it, the best you can.

And some days, it will be... Uh...

Well, it'll be fucking horrific,
to be honest with you.

You'll want to put your head
through a wall.

But, much of the time,

it'll feel magical, mate.

Like, you're gonna
meet this little person

and you are going to lose your mind
in the most brilliant way.

And don't forget, mate,

me and Mum will be with you
every step of the way.

We can still be the grown-ups
when you need us to be, okay?

Now, come on.

Mum says she's had three bottles
of wine and not enough crisps.

This bit, right, hang on.

Yeah, this bit here.

Who are you messaging?

No one.

You're smiling at your phone.

It's just for Grandad's thing.
Someone from the sheltered housing.

She's called Holly.

She's the hairdresser there.

She's very funny.

Oh, my God.

What?

- You like her!
- What?

- I don't... No. Stop it.
- Ava!

It's really nothing, Grace.

Don't make it weird.

I mean, you are literally
holding your phone to your heart.

Should've had a burger.

- Hi, darling.
- Hi!

- Nice time?
- So nice.

- How's Susie?
- So nice!

Good.

So nice.

- You all right?
- Fine.

I'm just going to hold it.

No, don't hold it. Just...

Ooh! You coming in for a little kissy?

No, because you're 40% proof,
aren't you, babe?

All right. Can I just get
under your ass? Thank you!

Don't go in it.

Okay.

I quit that job.

Excuse me?

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Looking at me like I'm fucking 90.

And I don't want to work there anyway.
They've got weird space-coffee.

It's very hot in here.

Where's the windy window thingy?

There is no windy...

When did you quit this job?

Just now. I wrote really good email.

Susie edited-ed-ed it.

Susie edited it!

- Susie did?
- Yeah.

Great. Two piss-heads
are better than one.

Oh, my God, Lukie's driving!

Don't put him off.
He's doing really well.

- Can you slow down a second?
- Yeah. Please.

I feel a bit sick.

One, two, three, four, five...

I love toast

Give me some toast

I love toast

I haven't got time to wait for that.
I'll be dead soon.

Everything is... Oh!

Yes, queens!

Hi, Ally.

Steady.

- It's fun.
- Yeah.

Is she okay?

Yeah.

She's just feeling a bit 50.

Oh, God.

Fuck.

And there it is.

The reason that
we don't drink like that anymore.

Oh, God. Was I horrific?

No, you were very merry, actually,

for someone who's just told
their new boss to fuck off

and done a little sick out the car.

Fuck! What is wrong with me?

Ah, nothing.

I hate turning 50.
I want to turn back.

Look, I wasn't keen on 50
when it hit, either, but,

and I know this is a cliche,
it's a lot better than the alternative.

Mmm.

Everything's going too fast.

- I can't...
- Yeah.

I sort of feel like
we've had the good bit,

do you know what I mean? But...

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I miss Luke.

I mean,

I'm going to be a fucking grandma.

That just sounds weird.

That's like saying I'm going to be

a horse or something.

Neigh.

Fuck off.

Ow! I can't laugh. Ow!

Right, I'm gonna pop out and pick up
some things for Dad's birthday do.

Okay? So, just sleep, Shergar, sleep.

Fuck off.

Pushes all the air out of me,
tying me laces.

You look very handsome.

Shall we?

God, it's so quiet.

Old people generally are, I think.

- Luke, do you want to...
- Yeah.

- After you.
- Thanks.

- Surprise!
- Surprise!

Happy 130th!

Oh, my God. Wow.

Okay, okay.

Two okays? That potentially not okay.

This is very brave, Paul.

The fucking adrenaline
walking up the street.

Look, 80 plus 50, that's...

A hundred and thirty, yeah.

That number is not banned, is it?

- Ava!
- Hello.

Do you hate it?

No, no, I don't hate it.

I love it.

It's... It's brilliant.

- Thank you.
- Happy Birthday, Mum.

Thank you.

Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday, Jim.

Happy Birthday, Ally.

They get better as you get older.

That's a lie. They get worse.

- Happy Birthday, darling.
- Thank you.

Thanks so much.

- Hey!
- Well done, darling,

putting on a brave face.

Put me in one of these places,
I'll fucking kill you.

Wow, good to know.

Okay.

Thank you. I love you.

I love you too. Come here.

All right, don't all pretend
like you're not all at it like rabbits.

I saw it on Panorama.

Hey, listen, I'm...

I'm so sorry for quitting that job.
You just...

- You can't put a price on pride.
- No, I know.

But if you could put a price on it...

Fifteen grand for two months' work.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You can't be angry with me though
because it's my party.

Okay.

- I'm gonna have a cup of tea.
- Okay.

Or a sherry.

Hey, Mum.

Eighty. Bloody hell.

That's a lot of years.

It goes by very fast, Ava.

Lightning speed.

You can't hang about.

Gotta grab life
by the short and curlies.

If I'm still allowed to say that.

I think you are.

Hey.

Hey!

Sorry, just had to get away
from the intense partying for a bit.

Holly, would you like to go
on a date with me?

Yeah. I'd like that a lot.

Good.

May I kiss you?

You absolutely fucking may.