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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,635 - ♪ Look at me now ♪ 2 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,261 ♪ look at me now ♪ 3 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,848 ♪ look at me now... ♪♪ 4 00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:17,643 - Hey, Beck. - Hey, Andre. 5 00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:18,811 - Congrats. 6 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:21,856 You got a free bottle of water. 7 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:24,274 Oh, I put a dollar in the machine and two came out. 8 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,693 - Ah, thanks, 9 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,696 but I don't drink water from mountain streams. 10 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:29,947 - Why not? 11 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,657 - Mountain streams are full of fish. 12 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:32,700 - So? 13 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,160 - Fish pee. 14 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,954 You're drinking fish pee. 15 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,833 - Hey, guys! 16 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,250 Dude... 17 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,127 Look what's on the buzzfinger homepage. 18 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:47,464 - Oh, poor Jay leno. 19 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,257 - No, under that. 20 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,385 - Oh. - Oh? 21 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,762 That's you and Alyssa Vaughn, together. 22 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,890 - No way. 23 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,475 That's Beck and Alyssa Vaughn, together. 24 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,310 - Why are you guys so impressed? 25 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,770 - 'Cause Alyssa Vaughn is famous. 26 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,480 - And hot. - Her father's a billionaire. 27 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,565 - And hot. 28 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,569 I didn't mean her father is. 29 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,862 I drank fish pee. 30 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:12,614 - Explain this. 31 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,408 - She's in my yoga class. 32 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,618 Some paparazzi showed up and took that pic, 33 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,161 but we're just friends. 34 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,581 - Uh-huh, and how did Jade react when she found out 35 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,457 you were "friends" with Alyssa Vaughn? 36 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,836 - Jade was cool with it. 37 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,589 She threw a rock at me. 38 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,632 - Yeah, well I'd be careful, 'cause I don't think 39 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:31,884 Jade's the type to be okay with-- 40 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:34,803 - Attention! 41 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,973 Attention everyone! 42 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,391 Stop while I talk! 43 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:44,479 As you all know, I'm trina vega. 44 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:49,401 Now, if you look at the flyers that just landed on you, 45 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,278 you'll see that starting this Friday night, 46 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:54,197 I will be performing my own one-woman show 47 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:57,200 called "trina!" With an exclamation point. 48 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,702 - Hey! Shut up! 49 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,956 - It's a play that I wrote myself 50 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,916 that will not only touch your heart, 51 00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:06,418 but blow your mind. 52 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:08,295 Now, if you look at these flyers, you'll see that-- 53 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,588 - ow. 54 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,507 - Ooh. 55 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,760 Could you pass those out? 56 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,643 - ♪ Here I am, once again ♪ 57 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:26,105 ♪ feeling lost but now and then ♪ 58 00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:31,026 ♪ I breathe it in to let it go ♪ 59 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,736 ♪ and you don't know ♪ 60 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,154 ♪ where you are now ♪ 61 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,656 ♪ or what it will come to ♪ 62 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:39,242 ♪ if only somebody could hear ♪ 63 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,703 ♪ when you figure out how ♪ 64 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:46,416 ♪ you're lost in the moment, you disappear ♪ 65 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:50,169 ♪ you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action ♪ 66 00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:54,091 ♪ you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction ♪ 67 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,676 ♪ not a fantasy ♪ 68 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,302 ♪ just remember me ♪ 69 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,847 ♪ when it turns out right ♪ 70 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:04,183 ♪ 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination ♪ 71 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:08,229 ♪ tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination ♪ 72 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,898 ♪ in my victory ♪ 73 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,399 ♪ just remember me ♪ 74 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:16,030 ♪ when I make it shine! ♪ 75 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,998 - Hey, we're not done talking about this. 76 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:28,959 - I am. - Well, I'm not. 77 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,336 - Listen, Alyssa Vaughn is just a friend. 78 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,338 - Yeah, a friend who's already sent you 79 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,464 six text messages today. 80 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,677 - Seven. 81 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,888 - You don't know that's her. - Is it? 82 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,643 - What's your favorite tropical fruit? 83 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,437 - The mango, and I don't like your new little relationship 84 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,480 with Alyssa Vaughn. 85 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,857 - It's a text message. 86 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:52,816 - And what does it say? 87 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,442 Maybe, "hi, Beck. 88 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,486 "My daddy just got richer and I got prettier. 89 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,821 Let's make out." 90 00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:00,490 - Okay, let me see if I understand you. 91 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:04,452 - Let's see if you do. - Because you and I date, 92 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:05,954 I can't be friends with other girls? 93 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,916 - You can be friends with ugly girls, 94 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,375 but not girls who are gorgeous socialites, 95 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,419 who text message you a hundred times a day. 96 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,545 - You know, you-- 97 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,630 Tori, Tori, can you come here? 98 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,967 - What? 99 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:23,430 - If you were my girlfriend-- - oh, great way to start the question. 100 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,265 - Would you be all freaked out that I'm just friends 101 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,307 with Alyssa Vaughn? 102 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,893 - Who cares what she thinks? 103 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,062 - Honestly, I wouldn't love it. 104 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,231 - I care what she thinks. 105 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,108 - How can you say that? You don't even-- 106 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,901 - you know, I really don't wanna be in the middle of this. 107 00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,361 - No, you stay right here. - No! 108 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,448 - You don't think a girlfriend should just trust her boyfriend? 109 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,699 - No, I do. 110 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,409 - Get out of here, Tori. - I'd love to. 111 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,493 - Stay. 112 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,870 - Aww. 113 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:49,164 - All right, you know what? - Tell me what. 114 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,707 - No, no, don't tell him what. 115 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,417 - We're done. 116 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,460 - Jade. 117 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,003 - So, you're breaking up with me? 118 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,713 - No, no, no, no, no, she's not. 119 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,882 - Yeah, I am. - Oh, she is. 120 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,176 - You're being ridiculous. 121 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:04,638 - What do you care? I'm not your girlfriend anymore. 122 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,307 - Come see my one-woman show, Friday night. 123 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:12,395 It starts at 8:00 sharp! 124 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,866 - Whatcha know, fro? 125 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,202 - Ha, he called you fro, 126 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,579 'cause your hair is all silly. 127 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,081 - Yeah. - Hey, you gotta check out 128 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,874 this new app I got for my phone. 129 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,002 It lets you do crazy effects when you're shooting video. 130 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,170 - Cool. 131 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,798 Um, so, you know how I used to write 132 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,091 for the school newspaper? 133 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,676 - I thought they shut the paper down. 134 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,928 - They did, but, uh, some of the seniors 135 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:48,056 started one online, you know, kinda underground 136 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,683 for school news and stuff. 137 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,767 - I know, the slap. 138 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,477 - The slap dot com. 139 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,895 - The dot com was implied. 140 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,897 - Anyway, so for the slap, 141 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,149 I'm the person in charge. 142 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,525 - Ha-ha, I made your head fat. 143 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,027 Say "cheese," fat head. 144 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,236 - Cheese. 145 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,322 Anyway, for the slap, 146 00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:05,573 I'm the person in charge of writing reviews 147 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,408 for all the plays here at school. 148 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,493 - Yeah? 149 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,912 - Well, I'm so busy. 150 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,207 - You're not busy. - Shh. 151 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,541 And uh-- and you're such a good writer, 152 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,917 I was thinking, maybe-- 153 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,503 - I'm not writing a review for trina's show. 154 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,379 - But what if her play is awful? 155 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,631 - What if? 156 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:22,966 Man, you know her show's gonna bite. 157 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,219 - I know, and if I write a bad review, 158 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,554 trina is going to kill me. 159 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,930 - Oh, so it's okay if she kills me? 160 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,515 - She'll have a harder time killing you. 161 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,142 You're all firm and developed, 162 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:35,229 and I'm still working on the last chapter of puberty. 163 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:38,106 - And he is a slow reader. 164 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,234 - I thought trina's play opens Friday. 165 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,319 - It does, but I'm seeing her last dress rehearsal, 166 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,196 and I don't wanna be the only one in the audience. 167 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,073 - So take Rex. - Nah-uh! 168 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,742 I'm staying home and taking a hot bath. 169 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,493 - Look man, don't panic yet. 170 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,662 Maybe trina's play won't be so bad. 171 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,040 - ♪ Chicago... ♪ 172 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,751 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 173 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,920 ♪ It's a city that's exciting, it's a city that's inviting ♪ 174 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,421 ♪ it's a city for a woman just like me ♪ 175 00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:04,423 ♪ there's a lake they call lake Michigan ♪ 176 00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,009 ♪ I think I'm really fitting in ♪ 177 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,136 ♪ this city is my perfect cup of tea ♪ 178 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,180 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 179 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:13,100 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 180 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,643 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 181 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:19,564 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 182 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:23,443 The doctor says I ain't never gonna walk again, 183 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,987 not even on crutches. 184 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:29,783 But I'm gonna tell you something. 185 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,868 I scared. 186 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,996 I'm a woman, in Chicago 187 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,207 who's scared. 188 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,432 - No. 189 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,191 - Uh-uh, no. 190 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,651 Stop. 191 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,031 - Hey. - Hey, Jade. 192 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,699 - You look a little like a lady who could use 193 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:12,700 some lunch buddies. 194 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,702 - Please. 195 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:17,372 - Well, I just thought that you were mad, because of-- 196 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,040 - I broke up with Beck, okay? 197 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,417 I dumped him. 198 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,258 - Whoa! 199 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,093 - You are amazing. 200 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,178 You know that? 201 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,471 - Is that Alyssa Vaughn? 202 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:33,972 - Yeah, so? 203 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:37,225 - Nothing, she's gross. 204 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,393 French fry? 205 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,645 - Gross? 206 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,647 Look at her. 207 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,899 Oh, that girl is smoking hot. 208 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,818 I'm serious. 209 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,862 I should shut up. 210 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,947 - Look, he didn't mean to say that. 211 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:51,948 - I don't care. 212 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,200 If Beck wants to date that, 213 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,660 I hope he has tons of fun with it. 214 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,954 - Uh-- - what? 215 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,706 - You're hurting your burrito. 216 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,170 - Okay. 217 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,887 - Hello, Robbie. - Aah! Hi. 218 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,847 - Have you been avoiding me? 219 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,933 - Avoid? Um, no, I'm just been here 220 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,269 having some cream of mushroom soup. 221 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,730 - What did you think of my show last night? 222 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,524 - Your show, um, I thought it was uh-- 223 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,026 very uh-- - you said it stunk. 224 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,278 - What did that say? 225 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,654 - Nothing. 226 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,864 He doesn't know what he's saying. 227 00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,282 He's on special medication. 228 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,159 - I am not on medication. 229 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:39,120 - Are you gonna write a good review of my show or not? 230 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,164 - Trina, see, uh-- 231 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,417 I'm a journalist, 232 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,210 and it's my job to write the truth. 233 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,503 And to be candid, I didn't think 234 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,171 that your performance was all-- 235 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,924 aah! 236 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,676 - I'm gonna say this once, so listen. - Okay. 237 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,303 - I've worked my butt off on that performance, 238 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,472 and you are gonna write a good review, you feel me?! 239 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,724 - I feel a mushroom in my nose. 240 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,685 Aah! 241 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,896 - Write a good review of my show! 242 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:05,939 I'm gonna kill that guy. 243 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,361 - There it is. 244 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,240 - Augh. - Waah. 245 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,075 - Augh. - Nay-ahh. 246 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,659 - Augh. 247 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,121 - Mine! - Mine! 248 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,330 - 15-love. 249 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,624 - Tori, you messed up my shot. 250 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,543 - I don't wanna play anymore. 251 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,297 - Ugh, you get it. 252 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,346 - Jade? 253 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,474 And now you're in my house. 254 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,227 - This kite is broken. 255 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,314 - Okay... and? 256 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,316 - I was just walking around, and I saw this kite 257 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,942 stuck in a bush, and-- it's broken, 258 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,235 someone needs to fix it. 259 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,696 - You want me to fix your kite? 260 00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:58,241 - Will you forget about the stupid kite? 261 00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:01,495 - I'm sorry I brought it up. 262 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,830 - I want Beck back. 263 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,457 - But you broke up with Beck. - I know. 264 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:06,666 Just like when I was seven 265 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,460 and I threw away my potato patch pal, 266 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,253 but then I realized I wanted him back. 267 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,547 But it was too late, 'cause my mother already gave it away 268 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,382 to some greedy orphans. 269 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,553 - Jade, if you wanna get back together with Beck, 270 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:19,846 then why don't you just tell him? 271 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,807 - I did, but he rejected me. 272 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,519 - Um, not to be mean, 273 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,604 but why are you coming to me for help? 274 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,897 - Because I don't want anyone who's cool to see me like this. 275 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:32,108 - Okay, maybe you should-- wait, are we friends? 276 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,902 We're not even friends. - Well, yeah, 277 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:38,406 but if you help me, maybe I'll like you. 278 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:42,494 - So, if I help you, I get a mean friend and a broken kite? 279 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,705 - Please, just please, talk to Beck for me. 280 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,263 - Okay, okay, okay, I'll talk to Beck. 281 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,474 - Do it soon. 282 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,649 I got a little makeup on your pillow. 283 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,818 - That's okay. 284 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,906 I'll just ask my grandmother to make me another one. 285 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,949 If she ever comes back to life. 286 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,929 - Push the button by the door, sweetie. 287 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,556 - Okay, thanks. 288 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:52,313 - Who is it?! 289 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,232 - I know that's you, Beck. 290 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,532 - Thanks, consuela. 291 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,200 - De nada! 292 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,662 - Enter. 293 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,377 - So, this is where you live? 294 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,587 - Is that bad? 295 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,297 - No, it's cool, it's just, you know, 296 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,424 most high school guys don't live in a rv 297 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,426 parked in their parents' driveway. 298 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,428 - Well, my parents said if I live under their roof, 299 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,721 I gotta live by their rules. 300 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,723 - Ah, so your roof... 301 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:27,806 - My rules. 302 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,352 So... 303 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,772 - So, you're probably wondering why I'm here. 304 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:36,023 Like, "hey, Tori's here, whaddup wid dat?" 305 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,526 - That's how I talk? 306 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,028 - No, that's just my generic boy voice. 307 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,197 - Ah, I like it. 308 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,907 Do more. - Okay. 309 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,702 Um, "hey man, 310 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,078 "why don't you get back together with Jade? 311 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,498 You know what I'm sayin'? Yeah." 312 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,794 - I should get back together with Jade? 313 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:58,296 - Uh-huh. - Why? 314 00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:03,009 - 'Cause she's, you know, 315 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,177 awesome. 316 00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,598 - Guess what? - What? 317 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,976 - I'm glad Jade and I broke up. - Why? 318 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,144 - Because I can't remember the last time 319 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:14,895 she did one nice thing for me. 320 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,439 - Oh, come on, didn't you just have a birthday? 321 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,483 She didn't get you anything for your birthday? 322 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,196 - She got me a can of lemonade. 323 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,992 - 'Cause he likes lemonade. 324 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,994 - Yeah, but out of a can? 325 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,289 - He drank it. - Yeah, but-- 326 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,792 - do I have a boyfriend or don't I? 327 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,752 - Do you want one? - Walk away. 328 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,633 - Hey! Curly! 329 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:44,801 - Hah! 330 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,887 Hi, trina. Is that a new shirt? 331 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,431 - Don't look at my shirt. 332 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,266 I went to theslap.Com this morning 333 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,310 and I didn't see your review of my show yet. 334 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,896 - I know. - When are you posting it? 335 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,482 - The deadline is flexible, so I'm just-- 336 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,526 no, please don't-- 337 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,695 - your review better go up today, 338 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,739 and it better make my show sound awesome! 339 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,921 - Still got some work to do. 340 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:31,222 - Oh, my Canadian sweater! 341 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,850 - It's not funny! 342 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,976 Trina keeps pressuring me to write a good review 343 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:39,480 of her terrible play, and I can't lie. 344 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:41,941 - Her play was that bad? 345 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,444 - So bad, it was laughable. 346 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,529 - Okay, okay, then... 347 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,364 Say it was the funniest play you've ever seen. 348 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,408 - Oh, what are you talking about? 349 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,910 - Review it like a comedy. 350 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,537 - Comedy? - Uh-huh. 351 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,207 - That's brilliant. 352 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,209 - Hey, no charge. - Thanks, man. 353 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,086 - No, wait, give me 10 bucks. 354 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,464 - Absolutely not. - 20. 355 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,132 - Are two 10s okay? 356 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,469 - Help me! - I tried. 357 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,471 Maybe you just need to forget about Beck. 358 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,267 - Will you come here? 359 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,355 - And now we're in a closet. 360 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,901 - How can Beck not want me back? 361 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,027 I'm so cool, and hot. 362 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,571 I've got it all. 363 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,074 - Yeah, but guys don't just care 364 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,451 about how cool and hot you are. 365 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:34,994 - Well, what else is there? 366 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,830 - Beck said you haven't done one nice thing for him 367 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,914 in two years. 368 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,499 - That is so not true. 369 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,794 We've only dated a year and eleven months. 370 00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,378 - Well, maybe he'd take you back 371 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,880 if you did something nice for him. 372 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:50,134 - You mean, like make him fresh lemonade? 373 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,886 - If you want Beck back, you're gonna have to think 374 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,096 bigger than beverages. - A dog. 375 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,515 - Okay, if you're gonna be rude... 376 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,850 - No. No. 377 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,267 Beck's always saying how he wants a dog. 378 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,060 A... a rotten-hymer. 379 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,564 - A rottweiler? - Yes, that's what he wants. 380 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,899 Okay, what's our next move? 381 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,901 - Just get the boy a dog! 382 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,737 - Go, go out. 383 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,322 Out now. Run-- 384 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,245 - and then at 10 P.M., when president Lincoln 385 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,039 was watching the play at Ford's theater, 386 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,542 booth quietly slipped into Lincoln's box, 387 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,836 pulled out a derringer and shouted-- 388 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:28,464 - I'm gonna kill you! - Oh no. 389 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,633 - Man, you better run before the girl-- 390 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,552 aah! 391 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,012 - Rex! - Trina! 392 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,596 I'm teaching a class right now. 393 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,016 - How dare you call my one-woman show a comedy?! 394 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,600 - I had to follow my conscience! 395 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,061 - Trina, out of this classroom. 396 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,526 I know where you live. 397 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,611 - No, you don't, we moved last year. 398 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,030 - What's your new address?! 399 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,239 - 3707 cahuenga. 400 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,909 It's a duplex, we're on top. 401 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,117 - Got it. 402 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,081 I am so upset! 403 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:13,593 - Trina vega's one-woman show will now begin. 404 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,721 - In the beginning, 405 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,514 there was nothing, 406 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,433 and then... 407 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,476 There was woman! 408 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,446 Ahh. 409 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,990 Wow, I can't believe I'm here 410 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,867 in the city of Chicago. 411 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,995 Why, anything could happen to a woman like me, 412 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,956 here in Chicago. 413 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,503 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 414 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,672 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 415 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,258 ♪ It's a city that's exciting, it's a city that's inviting ♪ 416 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,011 ♪ it's a city for a woman just like me ♪ 417 00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,387 ♪ there's a lake they call lake Michigan ♪ 418 00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,847 ♪ I think I'm really fitting in ♪ 419 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,016 ♪ this city is my perfect cup of tea ♪ 420 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,393 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 421 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,981 ♪ Chicago... ♪ 422 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,860 - Shh! 423 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:20,409 - Okay, wait one sec. - Okay. 424 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:28,167 - Beck's asleep. Give me the dog. 425 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,168 - Okay. 426 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,628 Oh wait, he has a runny nose. 427 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:34,256 Blow. 428 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,342 - Dogs don't know how to blow their nose. 429 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,475 - Okay, give me the dog. 430 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,022 Okay, go on, go in there, go lick Beck's face, good boy. 431 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,150 Ahh, okay, if this makes Beck like me again, 432 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,609 I'm gonna owe you big time. 433 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,444 - You already owe me big time. 434 00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,740 - What's going on? - I don't know. 435 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,408 - Who's dog is this? 436 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,660 - Beck, Beck! 437 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,078 Are you okay? 438 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,747 - Does he sound okay? 439 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,666 - Beck! Beck! - Get him off me! 440 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,209 - That was horrible. - I know! 441 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,461 - Now he's never gonna take me back. 442 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:15,131 - That is not the key issue right now. 443 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:16,757 - Well, what are we gonna do? 444 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,468 - Aah! Aah! - He's hurting me! 445 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,970 - What is going on? - Get back! 446 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,596 - Aah! - Beck? 447 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,473 - How can you be out here? 448 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,433 - You're in there being mauled by a dog. 449 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,935 - A dog? My dad's in there. 450 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,645 - Your dad? - Oh, my god. 451 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,147 - Dad, dad. 452 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,857 Whoa, that's a big dog. 453 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,567 - Sit! - Dad! 454 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,527 Whoa, whoa! 455 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,782 - I'm doing it. 456 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,034 I'm doing it. 457 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,537 I'm a woman in Chicago, 458 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,539 learning how to walk again... 459 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,628 Thanks to doc Stevens and my new plastic legs. 460 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,092 Take that, Chicago. 461 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,886 You're no match for a woman like me. 462 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,221 From now on, 463 00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:05,305 I'm callin' this city... 464 00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:07,225 She-cago! 465 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,525 - Yes, you're welcome. 466 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,818 You're all welcome. 467 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,989 Yes, it's okay to laugh. 468 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,451 I'm hilarious. 469 00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,203 - Oh. 470 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,829 - I'll meet you at the hospital. 471 00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:29,914 - Okay. 472 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:32,250 - We're sorry. - So sorry. 473 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,043 - Oh, why? 474 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,379 - He'll be fine. 475 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:38,505 - Thanks. 476 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:42,135 - Hey, are you in college yet? 477 00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,302 - Bye. 478 00:21:56,274 --> 00:21:58,109 - Tori told me to get you a dog. 479 00:21:58,109 --> 00:22:00,319 - Dude. 480 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,947 - Okay, it was kind of my idea, 481 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,531 but I didn't think the dog would bug out like that. 482 00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:06,075 I just wanted you to have a dog, 483 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,660 because I know you've talked about getting one 484 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,578 ever since I met you, and I thought that maybe-- 485 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,170 you love me again. 486 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,921 - Who said I stopped? 487 00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,547 - Aww. 488 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,468 I ruined the moment. 489 00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:29,223 - It's cool, and I really do owe you. 490 00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:45,781 - Hey, um, it's getting kinda late, 491 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,366 so I was wondering if maybe you could drive me home? 492 00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:49,827 - It's not that far a walk. 493 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,502 - Try not to swallow each other. 494 00:23:04,842 --> 00:23:06,093 - All right, check this out 495 00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:07,636 from theslap.Com. 496 00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:09,138 - ♪ Not a fantasy ♪ 497 00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:10,430 ♪ just remember me ♪ 498 00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:13,851 ♪ when I make it shine! ♪ 499 00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,189 - You were off-key. - No, I wasn't. 500 00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:19,232 - Yeah, you were totally off-key. 501 00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:20,566 - No, I wasn't! 502 00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:22,902 - Okay, there's a lot more stuff like that 503 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,320 at theslap.Com. 504 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,696 So go there. 505 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,074 - Mmm! 506 00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:31,702 - Say "cheese," fat head. 34635

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