All language subtitles for Cheerleader Ninjas

He's using the internet to
learn all about homosexuality.

Billy doesn't know that he's only
moments away from being sucked

into a stinking pit of alternative
lifestyle, pornographic depravity.

Did you know that these terrible tragedies
repeated thousands of times every day?

Hello, I'm your narrator.

Little Billy here could have been
saved from this horrible internet death.

If only the government
could have been permitted.

To brand a red letter H on the
forehead of every suspected homosexual.

Implant microchips into
their cerebral cortexes.

Force them into concentration hands.

Blame them for all society's problems.

We would have a better
planet to live on today.

Perverts all over the world
are able to molest our children

in their own bedrooms with
this sewer line of filth, the internet.

We, the Catholic mothers
with too much time on our

hands, finally have a
cause worth fighting for.

Are you with me, ladies?

Yes.

What is the queer porno start?

Madonna, would you be a deer?

It's the Pope, ladies.

Don't let a little bit
of goodness fool you.

This internet is a nest
of sodomizing serpents.

Madonna, show them.

My favorite is all thierry's nude.

Hunky beep.

Nails.

Oh my lord.

Is there more of this in there?

Sure.

Nail you.

Ladies, to destroy this monstrosity, we
must start right here in our own backyard.

In our own backyards, with the very
symbols of teenage sexual depravity.

cheerleader, computer
geniuses, from Happy Valley High.

I'm so glad our daughters
go to Perochial School.

I hear they give out condoms.

I'm so happy, Bally High.

At Blessed Virgin Sacrifice,
they sell the condoms.

Make the pornicators pay, I say.

My daughter is such a good little girl.

Right, Madonna.

Oh, bastards kicking up a storm in there.

Oh, it feels like reef fries.

These so-called
cheerleaders are promoting

this internet filth with their wanton
display of blossoming sexuality.

How dare they show their cute perky breasts
and their long muscular legs and slim hips

and peach hard back sides that are begging
to be spanked with a wet leather strap.

We will get rid of these cheery internet
pussies with their worst arch enemy.

Pompa girls.

I hated Pompa girl.

No, no Christian soldiers.

We will use the one person who hates
cheerleaders more than we hate Protestants.

We are not good ladies.

We've got on our side and a few
smuggled semi-automatic weapons.

We can save our children's souls from
this internet, gay, kitty porn, perversion.

We'll bring up that
one, Sean Connery again.

Oh, look.

It's John Travolta.

They don't seem in the room.

We've got a big game to sound against
arch bibles, Blessed Virgin Sacrifice.

So let's practice those new chairs.

We'll break that ball, break their
blood, and their pets into their mud.

Break their legs, crush their knees,
break it, hurt bad by their teeth.

Shoot their girlfriends burn their
houses, kill their extended family.

Go team!

We'll run away.

Show the facilitators your toilet tray.

Don't know why you kicked in
stream or why you sound like Vaseline.

We don't like you.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, your
breath is like camel dew.

Johnny, Johnny, he's
our man and he can do it.

We'll eat them.

How funky is your chicken?

How loose is your stool?

If you're running for the
restroom, you're a major fool.

Oh, Angela.

You're my sugar.

My honey, honey.

Maverick.

She doesn't even know you exist.

She just didn't deny.

Big red apples come from Angela's life.

We are girls with every time.

Shubby.

I've got to find a way to make her mind.

Short of getting a personality transplant.

I think you're stuck with netlove.com.

Face it, Maverick.

Like every other nerd out here,
you're writing the baloney pony.

I thought it was the
slippery sausage stick.

You mean the hand-handed spam
slammer with that Frank Britta follows you.

With a happy projection.

Oh, man.

Oh, okay.

You stopped.

You stopped.

You stopped.

Come on.

We've got to get that footage
on our website in a half an hour.

We've got subscribers waiting.

I really think of my sunshine.

I don't know, Heather.

It's really hard to get anything
to grind with succ- Hey guys.

Look, we're starting in a poster.

What the hell?

When did we post for this?

What was in a poster with computer geeks?

I think it's Dick whackmeister.

That guy in Homec with hair on his palms.

Is that the guy who smells like a
French kiss in the butt of dead goats?

No.

Computer geeks?

No.

I'm going to kill those little worms.

I hate worms.

Oh, they remind me of these.

Come on, girls.

Let's go kick some geek butt.

Let's have today's prayer.

Oh, my God.

Okay, now let's take roll.

Hannah.

Kiss my ass.

Abigail.

Abigail.

I'm going to kill you.

I sense a little father-daughter
hostility conflict, my dear.

Chloe.

Chloe.

My favorite movies, the Exorcist.

Across will all have to bear.

Bethany.

Here.

Faggot.

Oh, well.

Today's discussion is how to
run a death gap for cheerleaders.

Now, let's start today's
topic with gas chambers.

Still useful.

We're past fit.

So it's true.

You really don't like cheerleaders.

Oh, this is a Catholic mother.

Someone with the dirty knees.

If I had known you were coming
back, I would have streamed down.

Jesus, that's impossible.

If you really hate the
Happy Valley cheerleaders,

we have a little side job for you.

Oh.

Oh.

Be available.

Tell me, Stefan.

Why do you hate the Happy
Valley cheerleaders so much?

I remember like it was just last year.

God, a flashback.

Time to go get popcorn.

Where's step out for a
nice refreshing beverage?

God, how can you drink
that stuff without Coke?

This is a really good flashback.

I remember.

I would fit last year's cheerleader.

Oh.

Oh, did I bake it?

Did I make it?

Sorry.

We just didn't allow your type.

Oh.

Well, what about him?

That's different.

He's cute and probably curable.

So you won't even let me be on your
stupid little cheerleading squad, eh?

Well, you're doomed.

Damn.

Damn.

Have I spit on your
little cheerleader shoes?

Like, go have one of those animals
that give milk at the supermarket.

Do you really think he means it?

You mean, like, sometime in the future,

he might sit some dastardly plan into
action and make his revenge against us?

You're real.

Don't you just hate flashbacks?

Not when the revealed vital character
motivation that drives the plot forward.

Like that one just did.

Ah, blood out your ass, Abby.

Oh.

Well, as long as I can
have my revenge on those

happy valley cheerleaders,
then I'm your man.

So to speak.

What a great cross-promotional time.

A remote control for your loved dog.

Oh.

Think of the possibilities.

Wonder twin powers?

Wow.

I finally realized just how
attractive nerds really are.

What's my name?

How about Angela?

Oh.

You know how about some cheers?

Oh.

Okay.

Got my underwear.

Blue Merspat, who's spell checking?

You're so smart.

I got my shot.

He's ace Muhammad Bouda.

How'd he think?

He was a cop.

Like, it doesn't wash.

Okay, Todd.

Which one of your computer
geek friends did this?

Nerd.

Hardly.

My nerd isn't as recessive.

It's allowing me to be cuter
than a straight tongue cruise

and run the school newspaper, as well as my
own multimillion dollar software company.

And I'm only a junior.

Yeah.

Well.

We've got our own brand of underwear.

This is a kind of software, isn't it?

I wasn't getting a college
scholarship for wearing this uniform.

I'd sell you both to white slavers.

What's that one?

Poor people's shot?

You want to find the real computer geeks?

They have a clandestine
computer lab in the basement.

Oh, but be careful.

It gets mighty slippery
on Friday after news.

I see me.

Why not?

You're going in first.

And we're simple to choose.

My old shoes!

The trailer.

A long trip to main entrance.

Oh, god.

Never.

There are real girls out there.

I repeat, real girl.

It's Angela and the cheerleaders.

Red alert.

Shields to maximum.

Set phasers to stun.

Too late.

I got it.

Go to the bathroom.

My god.

Both the bricks.

The bricks.

Oh, god.

Do you think this is it?

Oh.

I think we can all get pregnant.

Just in the fumes.

Oh gosh.

Nobody brief.

Hold your breath.

Impere your strong
troopers at the main entrance.

We're all doing nice day.

Okay, girls.

Let's give it a go to hamster jam.

Maverick.

I thought I smote your fell
stench when I was brought aboard.

We're on a diplomatic mission.

I think you're on an
e-mission 24 hours a day.

Listen, self lover.

We're not one of your internet invaders.

So stop saluting your private parts down
there while pretending we somehow know you.

And what that smile off your butt?

Angela.

I swear.

We didn't make the poster.

And that's why the name of
your whackfest club is all over it.

Maverick's right.

We don't have the money to print flyers.

You ever see what battery clamps can do

to improperly abuse erectile tissue?

Take down every single poster
in school or you'll find out.

Come on girls.

Let's go.

This place smells like a porno
theater during happy hour.

I thought every hour was
happy hour at the porno theater.

I just love it when she's bitchy.

I'm gonna make that girl mine.

Right.

And someday, those fake vaginas will
be cheap enough for all of us to afford.

Face it Maverick.

That flyer was a cheap
ploy to get her to notice you.

No guys, I really didn't make the poster.

I wouldn't make her boobs bigger.

Now remember girls, keep your eyes
open for those stupid internet posters.

How can I walk without my eyes open?

Not so fast, Angela.

As head of the cheerleading
squad, say hello to your

new recruit, Jane, an exchange
student from Kentucky.

What if I supposed to do it with a mistake?

That's Nike!

Like Nike.

Your job is to get her
acclimated to Happy Valley High.

She wants to be a cheerleader.

So short of removing half her
brains, each or not this is so much.

Ms. Die.

Angela, if I want your principal, I bitch
lap you and hog tie you to a dentist chair.

Damn, that's my uterus.

I mean my gynecologist.

So, uh, Jane.

Why do you want to be a cheerleader?

Well, I was thinking of a nice to meet
a boyfriend who wasn't my brother.

A cousin or father.

Oh, a worthy girl.

Every girl's a striped boy.

You are so incredibly hot, come here.

Yeah.

Now, Jane, if you're going
to get anywhere Happy

Valley High, you've just
got to learn the language.

Yeah.

If something's cool, it's the shit.

Yeah, if it's really cool, it's the bomb.

And if you meet a guy you like, tell
him you clean spincters with your tongue.

Spanked or what?

Yeah, yeah, keep saying what?

And you'll make the perfect cheerleader.

And don't forget, duh.

duh.

Oh my god.

You're such a daughter.

It probably makes you wonder what
they do with petroleum jelly and toast.

Oh, oh my god.

That's great.

Oh, Lord, we've besieged
the branches thy strength

and the coming apocalypse that we make
when this battle between good and evil.

And Lord, please help us to
kick some serious cheerleader ass.

Amen.

Ready?

Make sure you drip a few shirts.

Ours with bears.

Ball.

Like my stuff cheer.

I think it really sucks.

My stuff cheer does not suck.

It sucks.

It does not suck.

Yes, it does.

It doesn't suck.

Yes, it does.

My stuff cheer does not suck.

Girls.

So what do you guys think
of our new dork interior Jane?

I think that's the only thing with me.

She's the one that wanted to be famous.

Free cheerleader bimbo.

Definitely.

What are you doing at
a bunch of teenage girls?

This is one for the exiles.

We are here to destroy the very
symbols of pornographic sleeve

the cheerleaders of the internet invaders.

I knew that I was going to screw us.

Somebody's not wearing their happy faces.

Their tattooed on our asses.

At least they're somewhere.

We're going to cut off your
pretty little heads and go bowling.

Ah, bowling.

Get my brick.

Need your formation.

Now.

Wait a minute.

We don't even know Kung Fu.

Or even then you can't pound.

You're going to kick our asses.

Yes.

That's how the fuck you're fighting.

And here we are with today's Superman.

The Catholic Reform School girls
taking on the happy Valley cheerleaders.

And it looks like quite
a cat fight out there.

And the big question on everyone's
mind is when we get to see a little DNA.

That's what I'm here for.

J. Peterman.

You bitch.

Die.

Hamsters.

This sucks.

I got my shoes.

I've got an idea.

I saw something cheesy after the TV show.

Follow me, girls.

Fast zoom out.

Now.

That went over well.

He don't suppose they want to
go shopping with this, do you?

No.

I don't think so.

So your prayers, Debbie cakes.

We'd say I'm for you, but we skipped
the day to talk to you die prayers.

I'll upgrade in their chair skirt.

Her head will look great
to mount it in our garage.

I just want their socks.

I don't get it.

Hey, you, hussy bitch.

Sluts.

Nobody messes with my friends.

He has bright list and shallow.

It's flexible.

They might be.

Thanks, dude.

You're so sweet.

Why'd you get them shoes?

Well, girls, the way I see it, we can
attack her one at a time and get creamed.

Are we going to attack her all at once?

And cream her.

Um, okay.

Go!

Come, so the fours are back for more, yeah?

This white scene has been
brought to you by Preparation B.

You know the pain of flaring
hemorrhoids can be relieved

with nothing more than
Preparation B and a large spoon.

Oh, your virgins too?

I'm after the us.

You haven't seen the
last of us come up virgins.

Well, that's a common virgin.

Ah.

Let's go, girl.

Wow.

Who called the cops?

Somebody had to distract those delinquents.

Here boy, a biscuit.

Yeehaw!

Jane, you saved the day.

I should have let them kill
you after that spanked her joke.

I'd have brushed my teeth for an
hour after the first guy I talked to.

At least you met someone.

Was he nice?

Nice.

Real asshole.

You did a good job today.

Here's your 30 pieces
of silver and a corn dog.

Set a sign of Crisco not made.

You gave those cheerleaders
something to think about.

But we need to strike a bigger blow.

I want you to replace every filthy
picture on the internet with this.

Picture of Sean Connery naked.

Oh, not with that.

With this.

The picture of the pole.

But I don't know anything
about the internet.

To do this, we're going to need
the services of the computer geek.

We'll do whatever it takes.

Just as long as it doesn't involve
photographing any teenage boys.

Bitch.

Go in there.

I don't want to have
to hold my breath again.

Yeah.

Girls, we need to learn some Kung Fu.

Last time we were here, Maverick was
working on a web page for an indomaster.

And if we run into
those reform school girls

again, we're going to
need to know some Kung Fu.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

And these were worn by Andrew.

A real cheerleader during a recent
fight with some Catholic school girls.

It was quite yummy.

Never watched.

Let's start the bidding at 50.

Do I hear 50?

Look.

I know it's difficult to imagine that a
real eyebrow actually wore these panties.

But I've got the video.

Get back my underwear too.

What?

New issue of penthouse on the stands.

Shoo, go away.

How did you get my underwear?

He gave me $50.

I needed new shoes.

You sold my used underwear for $50?

I resell them for $100.

Keep your shorts on.

Maverick.

Are you making a web
page for an indomaster?

Maybe.

What's it to you?

Ooh, the powers of an indom.

An indom.

Join me.

And together we can rule the galaxy.

It's deep and cheap.

Chubby.

Take office to put now.

I might have the information that you seek.

What's it worth to you?

Name your price, LatexLimmer.

Or I'll beat the information out of you.

Well, how about a date?

With me.

No way.

I'd rather be dead.

Let's go, girls.

How about just pictures
of you and those panties?

Geez, if you guys were such total
doeves, then you'd go out with me?

No.

But there's a few blind
girls like it probably bribe.

Can they smell?

Because these guys do.

Whoa.

7.5 on the rectum scale, Flamer.

God, I think his dirt will just die.

I'll tell you what, Maverick.

From now on, at school,
I'll notice you when I walk by.

And, and, and pretend you exist.

Deal.

Here's a load as you RL.

You're a what?

The good Catholic mothers want
to put poop pictures on the internet.

You and I both want something more.

Oh, well, I hardly know you.

I represent people who would
give you your wildest dream.

Oh, you mean, like, can't erase and Brad
Bitch and make it to a grief telephone ball?

It seems as if Angel
has a deep dark secret.

What?

She likes black eyes?

No.

A secret that would destroy her
reputation as a brainless cheerleader.

I like black eyes.

I was at the summer camp at Harlem one.

Here's Angel's College
Scholarship application.

Use this information only
when you absolutely must.

Oh, important plot points
for the end of the movie.

Since I was I could open it now.

Oh, anyway.

What should I call you?

Mr. No name?

Mr. Ah.

Mysterious?

Mr. Unknown?

Just call me.

I'm gonna switch your hat.

Whoa!

What a man!

I am Mr. Loader.

Horrible big load up.

You wish to learn the
secret ways of the ninja.

No.

We just want to learn to
beat the crap out of people.

This is not a skill to be
used for petty revenge.

What about forgetting even?

Here you will learn
to face death in battle.

For an ninja there is no try.

There is only do.

Well, for me there is awful lot of lining.

And then I get my boyfriend to do it.

At least you have a boyfriend.

When we get to learn to do backflips,
turn a visible and fight ninja turtles.

How can you stand it?

I think a lot about baseball.

Been finished the job yesterday.

I want another crack at those cheerleaders.

You just want to get at
those cheerleaders cracks.

You think that's funny?

I have a much, much better job for you.

As long as it's a job where
I don't have to swallow.

She's so last night.

Cut the sweet talk's death and we're
not a much too much boys, remember?

I need you to kidnap me.

How do I do that?

Just use your feminine chance.

No, the other ones.

Oh, are you working on out here?

The tan.

Yes, that's why my computer is open.

The computer, it's not
even plugged into anything.

Aren't there any rich football players
who could go give you a ride in a Porsche?

That's a Porsche?

So what do you do after you graduate?

Take all those cheering skills and go
work with the Red Snapper Dance Club.

Sorry to burst your penthouse
forum fantasy, but we're not bimbos.

Or sluts.

Or horse.

Or bitches, babes, or chicks.

Or smakers.

Or sperm burping sleaze bags.

There you go, girl.

Who cares what you think, Todd?

We have our own careers.

Cheerleading?

Has a career?

Hey, it's a job to be the most
popular girls in high school.

Yeah, from here, we'll have
a free ride through college.

Then get married to a rich
lawyer, doctor, or veterinarian.

So don't you stand there and
tell me cheerleading isn't a career.

Stand here?

Yeah, like your computer thing isn't
just another fad like disco or pet cocks.

That's pet rocks.

Fox, that's a good idea.

Let's go.

So it's my guess that embedded
in every gaseous cloud is

microscopic particles that
make up the basis of the cloud.

The fog is made up of water, right?

Therefore, a fart would
be made up of... Ugh.

So when you smell
someone's fart, it's the same

as if you stuck your
nose up their butt hole.

What about SPDs?

So you're saying that sound volume isn't
no way related to the level of stinkage.

Exactly.

It passed me the elastrophlaver.

We've been phasorine, shields
up on the Proton Torpedos.

Shut him up, bro, chop his head off.

Angela, hi.

We had a deal.

Remember?

I know.

Hello, Maverick.

Er, I belong to your existence.

Have a nice life.

Yeah.

We don't want to get
cuties up, you or anything.

What's he doing?

Oh, he just wants to put
something on a sandwich.

Brother such an ass, never.

The fuck out of my fantasy.

That's it.

He didn't save any mustard for me.

I mean, her breath.

Your boy isn't good.

God, it's good days.

Are you kidding?

I've had 900 numbers hanging up on me.

Oh, you got the pinion power picker.

Yeah.

You know about computers?

Well, I'm allowed to show off a little of
my intelligence until I join on the squad.

Hey, you're kind of cool.

Thanks.

Are we related?

You're only encouraging them to
speak to us like equals or something.

It's like feeding wild bears.

Once you slip a mistake, they'll
want to get in your car and drive.

Yeah, the slippery slope
you're sliding down, sailor.

Emergency shopping intervention.

It must be love.

Why?

He didn't fart.

Good.

I don't want to stick my
nose up this butt anyway.

Er, er, er.

Does anyone know where we
can find some computer experts?

What makes you think we
know anything about computers?

Well, we each have
computers in our rooms and

we just can't figure
out this internet thing.

Easy, Maverick.

Remember the prime directive.

No interference with
any non-technical society.

I don't think they mean us any harm.

Is the problem with your
PPP or your Slippa Counts?

Um, both our PPs and
our slips need adjusting.

Could you help us, please?

We're having a summer party tonight.

We would love it if you would come.

We'll be there.

He'd don't those cause anal leakage?

They better.

Or I'm taking right back.

An ninja becomes one with nature.

Of creature of the forest.

Hunting with the stealth of the tiger.

Your bodies become deadly weapons of steel.

Your weapons are now
extensions of your den.

And, again, rather, it becomes meaningless.

As you control the elements
that once controlled you,

soon you will become the most
coveted martial arts of all of us.

But in job.

Can I miss those fight scenes with shorts?

I'm really sorry about
breaking the Batman model.

It's okay.

I mean, I still got Robin.

They're nice for giving?

Oh, always.

Hey, guys.

We gotta get to that school.

The squirrels are expecting us.

Oh, my God.

You all a bunch of geeks?

Oh, we might know a little about computers.

I don't know where a good old
boy can find a strip bar around here.

The stealth club.

A fifth and Broadway.

Yeah!

I've been on a submarine for nine months.

Gooped up with a bunch of stinky guys.

Couldn't tell, could you?

No, you can't tell.

Thanks a lot, boys.

Okay.

To the stealth club.

Yeah!

You know, we probably wanted
a strip club with naked girls.

Oh, yeah.

I wonder what it's like in a
parochial school dormitory.

I'll bet every night is like a
penthouse four on the letter.

Yeah.

We probably take bubble baths together.

Wash each other's backs.

See each other's, you know, things.

Flamerer.

Girls have their own things.

Why would they want
to look at anybody else's?

I would.

I bet when they're bad.

They get spanked.

I'm their bare bottoms.

Where would you get an idea like that?

From this.

Oh, my favorite!

You know, I've already started the letter.

Dear penthouse,

I was studying for my final exams

when my sister came home with her
best friend from the parochial school.

Hey!

Oh, that's a cool shot.

Wow.

That looks like you.

That was bigger than you.

I really like your skirt.

It's a little long.

It's so much later than mine.

No, but I wish, you know, mine
would show my stockers like first place.

Have a good year of release.

Are they bigger than my glaze?

I don't know.

I think they're about the same summits.

That's my shirt.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

They're kissing.

I don't know.

Bend over.

We'll try it.

Like when you first, I
don't know if I can learn it.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Oh, that's funny.

You're not going to believe what happened.

Hey, Bethany.

Fresh meats here.

Yeah!

What does he do play
baseball with that thing?

Bethany's lands in cable.

She'll be right out.

Hey, trackies.

Be in this bad boy app.

Oh.

Well, speak of swimming in a toilet.

Girls.

Look what just came out of my butt.

Computer.

And hologram.

Christ, girl.

What did you eat?

A truck?

Whatever it was.

But God, it's got the weight.

Don't flesh it, yeah.

The boy.

What?

Did you think our turns
are magically transported?

Past our lower intestines?

Without sliding through our butt holes?

Yeah.

Ladies.

Let's make our guess.

A little more comfortable.

Oh, boys.

Oh, my God.

Scotty, three to be mom.

Only two.

Okay.

You got sorry, girls.

I just, I just have a lot of my mind.

That's okay.

At least you have a mind.

What's wrong, honey?

Do you need new shoes?

What I need is a boyfriend.

Y'all got more than you can count, but I
can't even get a single guy to ask me out.

What's a secret?

Jane, you're just too nice to boys.

The trick is you got
to treat them like dogs.

Dogs.

It's easy.

Just watch.

Hey.

What's one of your boys things?

You're not enough to
go out the cheerleader.

Take me.

Don't, take me.

Don't, take me.

Don't, take me.

Don't, take me.

Don't, take me.

I got a lot of Porsche.

Uh, I got a house with a knife porch.

Yeah, I'm really confused.

Usually it's me with the color on my neck.

Down on my knees, begging.

Well, yes.

Fact is Jane.

Unless you treat them like untrained
house pets, they just won't respect you.

Boys may talk nice, but deep
down inside they just want one thing.

To eat!

Here you go boys.

You know, I think I'm taking
this boyfriend dog metaphor.

Just a bit too far.

No.

No.

No.

Never.

Never.

I'll never use my computer powers
to subvert my beloved internet.

Relax.

All we want you to do is put these
pictures up all over the internet.

Picture of Sean Connery naked.

Not that picture.

Hey.

How's that Pope guy?

What's his name?

Uh, the Pope.

Yeah, the one they named after the Beatles.

Oh, except for Ringo.

Let's make them all steers.

No.

Wait.

The Force is strong with this one.

The Force is mostly semen of this one.

But the Force is weak with this one.

I get it.

Hannah.

Get me the laundry basket.

Oh, my God.

My God, you can't do this!

Whose broad is this?

Can you tell?

Let's see.

Is it yours?

You sick bastards.

And whose dirty little panties are these?

If you want to torture
someone like this, take me.

Take me.

I'll pay you to take me.

Whose panties do these belong to?

Maybe they're mine.

Whoever owns these panties
leaves lovely skin marks.

We won't code.

Hold on, man.

You can take it.

Well, ladies, I think it's time to boy see
if the panties we have on now are dirty.

My God!

Incoming!

Suddenly, the massive
fart ignites the chocolate

bar in Flamer's pants,
causing an explosion

far too expensive to
be shown in this film.

Instead, we've substituted
the following footage

to help you understand
the incredible violence

of this deadly repulsive
fart chocolate mixture.

There's a smile in every hershies.

Oh.

I need a cigarette.

That's it.

Time for testicular circumcision.

You've lost Bethany.

We won't code.

Wait.

What did I give you a date with Angela?

That's impossible.

She hates geeks.

Do we have a deal?

This is a stroke of genius.

They haven't seen me in action yet.

Take me to your computer.

I still don't understand how
this will get rid of all that.

You soon will.

Very funny.

Look what the girls gave me.

Your plan worked.

The geeks fell for it.

There you go.

So, uh, anybody up for some fish sticks?

Oh, that one's lovely.

We have another job for you.

Keep those cheaters occupied while
you have a chance to run out first test.

And then what?

And then the internet would
no longer be a problem.

I've got some tartar spots
that's extra rich between me.

My favorite.

Handmaid.

Oh, let's go.

It's my own recipe.

Tuck me two weeks to make it.

Two weeks.

Yeah, I worked on it every night.

That's fucking amazing.

Hey, everyone.

Did you hear the news?

Someone supported the entire internet.

I didn't hear anything.

Just some music box in your head.

Oh, my gosh.

There's a clear and sound.

It's too heavy.

No way.

What are you thinking, Jane?

I think if I don't get
myself a boyfriend soon,

I'm going to have to buy one of
those Fabio pre-paid phone sex cards.

Oh, honey, just give
it a little bit more time.

About 20 minutes, I'll do.

And if not, well...
Then you're a bike.

That's lucky.

So here's the little
Queenie who's responsible

for daylight savings
time on my biological plot.

What?

You just wait till you're uterus.

It's screaming like an 18-wheeler in heat.

And you're only chance of meeting a
single man with a sperm count over one.

It's clogged with your picture.

Put up here by your
computer geek boyfriend.

She's right.

Then that's jammed with Angela.

The least you could have done is put
her head on some naked chicks' body, man.

And pay twice what they're selling for.

Miss Dyke, this is a setup.

No, that's a setup.

You computer geeks better get your phone
fantasy cheerleaders off the internet,

or you'll be riding code
and doing cheers for

the Transam Junior
College of Industrial Arts.

This is horrible.

Yeah.

Like, who tries to Transam?

No.

The fact that mistropping
ovary is announced the whole

school these geek sea
monkey spakers are boyfriends.

Help me to shower.

Shazbot!

Somebody took my code and changed it.

I told you not to trust women who
put their underwear on our heads.

But who had this skill to do this?

Not even Bill Gates is this twisted.

Well, let me know what.

Okay, Maverick.

It's just you and me.

Nice knowing you, buddy.

See you in other parts.

No.

Wait, y'all.

Listen.

Don't you think it could
have been those stunt pollers

who whipped our butt the
other day trying to do this one?

She's right.

These geeks know
we've put their schlongs

in a hot tub on feeding
the homeless people.

Interformation.

Now.

Or four.

We have to drive there.

Come on.

Show us off my shoes.

Need the cheerleader formation.

No.

I'm driving.

Jump on.

Wait for me.

Chat fight.

Got plenty of videotape.

I'll set up the water sprinklers.

Yes.

Just eight an hour ago.

Well, you knew what they
say about Chinese food.

No.

What have I said?

Well, some yengai can do.

Freeze right there, cheerleading husband.

Your field trip is over.

Definitely.

You set us up.

Never mind what everybody said.

Cheerleaders are smarter
than potted plants.

So are you enjoying
your newfound celebrities?

It's queen of the internet.

What do we ever do to you?

You only wouldn't let me be on the
coolest cheerleading squad in high school.

Maybe the whole planet.

You owe me.

Ruined my life.

You destroyed me.

You just never need you.

You pull out of my heart.

You run.

Run.

Smash it.

And then you pull it.

Stuck it at it.

Just pull it.

Hold it on.

You run my life.

Only because you never got one.

You could have tried out
for pom-pom or dance squad.

For the benefit of those watching at home,

the remainder of this
scene will be in knees.

Japanese, Chinese, and Pekingies.

For your time.

For your time.

For your time.

For your time.

Backway, Spoochoo, Bufu.

We eat pokom-slaw.

We eat pokom-yong.

Shoo-yong.

Lick my pokom-yong.

Eat my dog-duce too.

Too.

Now you will fill the rest of my rejection.

Remember them?

It's never them, my minion.

What?

I see.

And it's round two
between the Happy Valley

cheerleaders and the Blessed
Virgin Reform School slots.

Yeah!

Big question is, just how good
are the cheerleaders new ninja skills?

And more importantly, will
we get to see some rooters?

One that happens.

Have you tried these?

New gung-fu-like, Bruce Lee.

Press on nails.

But the nails you don't build a house with.

No, I haven't.

Big, ready-neck cracker-face.

Packer-head-cow-pumpin-fish.

Huh?

No, you're from Kentucky.

I bet your mom's in prison.

You live in a mockel home.

Hooray!

She pissed you a little fan
of sucking slut from home.

That didn't hurt.

That didn't hurt.

Okay, that one hurt.

I'll give you one last chance to choose
righteousness and good audacity.

Who are you?

Marsha Brady?

I'm gonna stick this sword
so far up your wormhole.

You computer geek lover!

There can be only one.

Ah!

This could be bad.

Yep, real bad.

Right away.

Right away, my girl.

You know, my favorite
part of any cheesy movie

is when the girls get wet
and jiggle in slow motion.

Well, folks, this alone is
worth the price of admission.

I don't know if it helps, but
I'm not wearing any pants.

What happened?

Reels how the cab and drove off.

Little cheeks.

Where's Heather?

She didn't have the right
shoes with pogo sticking.

She went shopping.

But the chase scene is over.

We're talking about Heather.

Remember?

So what's going on in this picture
of me all around the internet?

Well, there's good news
and there's bad news.

The bad news is your
picture is spreading like

a virus through every
server in the world.

And the good news?

Nobody yet has put your picture
on somebody else's naked body.

Look, look, shoe haven't
had a special on my side.

My color, pogo stick shoes.

Heather, those are just tattoos.

But they were in the
pogo stick shoe section.

Well, according to my calculations,

Angela's picture will completely
take over the internet in two days.

Oh, I'm still on the internet stuff.

Aah!

What the hell is that?

My uterus?

I assume you're all working
together to solve this internet crisis.

Work together.

That's a great idea, Mrs. Dyke.

A cheerleader?

And the geeks?

Oh, you're not.

I didn't get the common enemy.

That's an excellent idea.

You kids get back to the computer lab.

Put aside your differences and
show some hamster teamwork.

But before I forget Angela,

I have your computerized
scholarship reports here.

It says you're a volunteer in the
Make a Death Wish Foundation.

That's a group where an unfortunate,
terminally ill child is given one last wish.

Seems that before this little piss wad
takes a dirt dive and becomes worm food,

he wants a picnic with a real cheerleader.

Don't they have websites for this?

www. cheerleaders.

com or my personal favorite,

the news group, all
binaries, new cheerleaders.

Oh, man.

How can you tell their
cheerleaders that they're all naked?

Well, she has pom-poms.

Mrs. Dyke, I am not going to
blame date with some dying kid.

Look at you.

This is something on me.

I'm sorry, Angela.

But if you want the
scholarship, you have to.

Now, shoot.

Don't fix the internet.

You're going out with a blind person?

How politically correct?

Oh, you know that handicap
people get all the best parking places?

Heather.

I am so stupid.

Blind people don't even drive.

Yeah.

Just where your sunglasses.

You'll fit right in.

This is going better than I expected.

You're sure you can break the code.

Well, it's my code except for the picture.

I'll have it fixed before
they even show up.

Boys, get back to the
clubhouse and get it ready.

We're going to have real live girls in it.

How come, if it's two hands coming
together, it's not called a high ten.

Never mind, hands.

Just bring me one evangelist, sweat sound.

Break.

Let's all work together
and fix this internet thing.

You don't get out much, do you?

I bet you'll eat deodorant, huh?

There.

That should do it.

At last, the internet is back
under anarchy's control.

Yay.

That's it.

That's what we came here for.

Boys, in honor of us all working
together to save the internet.

The club chipped in and bought
some William Schutner beer.

Schutner beer!

Schutner beer!

And chips!

Schutner chips!

We're here!

Well boys, I've got a date.

And I hope you wore your old shoes.

I don't think these guys
are going to hold their liquor.

I'm here to make a death
wish blind date, baby.

What fatal disease do you have?

Just lexic incontinence.

Angela, wait.

Remember your scholarship.

If I have to go on a
date with you to get my

scholarship, there's
only one thing left to do.

Yeah.

Wait, wait!

I swear.

I won't tell anyone ever.

Wait, wait.

What if this internet thing is a
diabolical scheme to take over the world?

And only the two of us can stop it.

Okay.

Captain's log.

Start a square root of pie.

First officer reporting.

The captain has gone on a way mission.

And I have taken command.

We have females on the enterprise.

And we are drinking.

Hey, Jane.

Do you know?

Last night, I stayed at
home and masturbated.

That's nice.

Did you think about Jerbles?

The song.

Oh, God.

I'd rather hear homeless people sing.

Last night, I stayed at
home and masturbated.

That's so good.

I knew it was good.

Last night, I stayed at
home and masturbated.

It felt so sweet.

I used my feet.

Beat it.

Beat it.

Unbucket.

So all.

Beat it.

Beat it.

Make it.

So tall.

I stroke it all until I blow
my water into the storm.

Stefan?

It seems if your geek
friends are trying to stop

the worm viral from
spreading throughout the net.

We can't have that.

Can we?

That's why you should wear a condom.

The first test of the net
virus is almost complete.

Keep it out on this married geek guy.

You may have to resort to even more.

Trust.

Measures.

You leave now, Stefan.

Oh, yeah.

This brings a bowling ball
rolling around on the box car.

How did you get a name
like Maverick anyway?

It's Tom Cruise's name
in the movie Top Gun.

And Chubby?

Well, because the only
time he doesn't pop

one is when he's in
shower after Jim Class.

Lamer.

Lamer.

Lamer has uncontrollable flat
ones whenever he gets near a girl.

Oh, just one time in science class.

This girl backed him up
against a lit Bunsen burner.

He shot across the room like a balloon.

Took out a roll of windows and
ended up out in the parking box.

Making a stop, aren't you?

Oh, yeah.

Impressed, huh?

No.

Well, it's been all about five minutes.

That should give you hours
of things to think about.

We're getting rosy calm, a cream rinse.

Angela, wait.

I wasn't going to tell you this, but
I'm the one who changed the internet.

What?

I wanted to make you like me.

Maverick, that's so pathetic.

Next time, just call my 900 number.

What's that number?

That's 1,900.

Go, Andy.

14, 99 a minute.

Must be over 18.

Hurry.

I'm waiting.

Oh, I have to go.

Wait.

Don't you want to see my program
that combines holographic imagery

with 3D teramorphine?

I mean, with the right amount of power,

I could turn anyone into
a megatransform resort.

No, without solving the
binary code differences

between the hollow program
and high wattage power sources.

You know, there's something about
you that I just can't put my finger on.

It's my breasts.

They make me go mad.

Now, go home.

Call that 900 number
and switch on the speaker

phone for hands for
you to listen to me.

Oh, and if you ever
tell anyone you sat here

and talked to me, I
am under your control.

Maverick, I'm talking to you.

What happened?

You're usable for a play.

You stare at your computer
screen and started slobbery.

Oh, my God.

Someone's taken my
original code and changed

into a hypnotic zombie
enslavement program.

So what you're saying is that
everyone who uses the internet

will still look like a
pathetic, drooling idiot.

We've got to get back to the bridge.

This is bigger than I thought.

Y'all know the difference
between parsley and pussy?

Nobody eats parsley.

Why don't you want to eat a cat?

A heather.

I mean, are they Vietnamese
or both people or something?

Because I heard they eat
cats, dribbles, and houseplants.

Thank you.

Are you guys OK?

Oh, yeah.

We're fine.

The geek's logged onto the internet.

And now they're all
pathetic, drooling idiots.

See?

The real zombie saves over the internet.

We don't ever go online.

We thought this was normal.

My God.

Do you know what this means?

There goes your sex life.

I love him.

My God.

What happened?

Oh, man.

Zombie enslavement software.

I heard rumors about this stuff.

This is a self-replicating arm code.

I see.

You do?

No.

I'm hot.

I want an icy.

It's only a matter of hours
before everyone on the net is put.

But they're on crack.

Crank.

Skank.

Spank.

Horsch.

Blow.

Suck.

Spute.

Chew.

I got it.

Millions of zombie slaves.

For God knows what perverted use.

And the world is under
someone's total control.

Wait a minute.

How does this affect me?

It's the world.

The world.

Yeah.

The world.

You know?

Like the US.

Happy Valley High.

Get it.

Oh.

Yeah.

I get it.

I'm not a complete idiot.

Yes.

Idiot.

Thank you.

Okay.

Anybody want to go to Chicago?

Who would do such a thing?

Duh.

Someone who needs shoes.

I think we're back to
those same dick liquors.

We fought before.

Who's this dick liquor?

And where would Stefan
and the reform school

girls get the training
to subvert the internet?

Duh.

From the bad guys.

Can you stop this?

It may be too late.

Zombie.

Slave.

Internet.

My God.

I programmed my power for it.

I'll say.

Staring at a microwave.

Amsterdam.

Those geeks have the
whole thing figured out.

Almost had a time.

Patients my son and father friend.

The morphing program will soon be finished.

Along with the spread of the
internet zombie enslavement virus.

Then the world is ours.

But those geeks are going to
sit in the middle of the church.

I'm a good children.

It's just a big, big step.

Don't tell me you're afraid of a
bunch of adolescent cheerleaders.

That's the girl.

She'll be a little gang of
reform school run over here.

He's got him a bunch of
brass stuffy prom powers.

But those cheerleaders were trade by.

Oh, yeah.

So gather their worst
enemies and tire them out.

And then do I send them
to beat up the cheerleaders?

It's Stefan.

From here on.

You're not permitted to use our toilet.

I hope we stop fighting soon.

My feet are cute.

Ooh.

I love these shoes.

Why can't they credit?

I got them on sale too.

You better hope your
tombstones are on sale.

Ninja formation.

Now.

I know very well.

We know about your diabolical
plans to take over the world.

Stefan, we're going to take you down.

And they do some killer power shopping.

We're going to kick your ass.

Oh, I'm fluffy run.

This time I brought your worst enemies.

First enemy.

Ha ha ha.

Who?

Hong Kong girls?

Two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, one, two, three.

And now we begin round three.

Well, we see fighting girls
kissing as well as naked memories.

And it looks like the contest isn't
going too well for the cheerleaders.

Even worse, I think we're going
to go the entire length of this film

without so much of seeing a
chipmunk being beaten senseless.

Ninja swords, none
chucks, losing son effects.

Yo, sound effects over here.

We need to get the
cheerleader some extra help.

If not, they're going to be toast.

The new terromorphine software,
but that's just experimental.

Well, so is sex with yourself at one time.

Well, today we find out
if we can cut the mustard.

Flamer.

Get over to the nuclear
power plant where you

work part time in the
computer department.

Hook your laptop up to their download feed.

Shelby, you take your laptop
with the morphing software

over to the hologram company
and also work part time.

I'll get over to the cheerleaders and
we'll hook up with you via satellite.

Any other character
points we need to reveal.

Eh, the last minute.

We're all trained Navy SEALs.

Don't make so.

Looks like the program is finished.

Got hot, baby.

Right?

Aren't you going to
check for spelling errors?

I'm such a warrior.

Great.

Need to go return your
plane through our yesterday.

It wasn't in my column.

It's really hard enough now, Stephanie.

Okay, girl.

Let's get our revenge now.

Maybe we'll work part now.

Oh, they have you now, cheerleaders.

Hahahahaha.

Think it'll stomp that shoe heaven, do you?

How about these fuck me parts?

Jerry.

Oh, Snugger.

It might.

Power transfer is great.

It's set to 1.21 gigawatts.

1.21 gigawatts.

1.21 gigawatts.

Program transfer is online.

Quick.

Get the Air Force to attack
with those really cool airplanes.

They don't stand a chance
against that giant robot.

Come on, man.

The science fiction
convention hall is downtown.

What are you next to the stud club?

Man, that school girl's
order is really pissing me off.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I don't know.

Do you think you'd look good
in tights, doing gymnastics?

Your sister, please.

What is that?

I even programmed in superglue.

Episode 36.

Classic.

Next gen.

That school girl's order is
one dead pair of pennies.

I bet they'd be huge.

He's wearing nowhere to score.

That will definitely put
the card in wheelchair.

He's clinging on for your anus.

I've got the same software that they have.

Here, put these on quick.

This is not going to match my shoe.

There's no time to explain.

These callers are hologram receptors.

They'll give you the
same powers as Megasort.

I thought he said
there's no time to explain.

Hurry.

Okay, flamour.

Activate the power plant transferants.

Chubby.

Transmit the holographic enhancers.

Megasort.

Now.

I'm strong through, Graham.

But, I'm sure you have an
anand you're going to pay.

Man, that's a struggle
between good cheerleader.

It was good out.

Oh, we do.

That's all.

Only so fucked.

Wow.

It was six.

Wow.

This guy was dead.

Oh, man.

That was some dangerous police ride.

Hey, what website is that?

Curedance.com.

Wow.

Another amazingly
coincidental product, pleasure.

Only one thing.

Fight back the stance
of school girl asthma.

Wonder twin pump on activate.

We need to give our cheerleader
Zord the ultimate weapon.

Hey, look at this.

Discount sextoyshop.com.

That's huge.

Not that I look at other
guys in the show or anything.

How about a minute?

Yeah, that's big.

To give it to the wrong Zord.

Hey, I've got a partial strap on to myself.

Now, there's something
you don't see every day.

You know, if you shaved your balls,
you just could look a lot bigger too.

No time.

What's on it for?

You can't give up, man.

If I've seen you crack
code harder than my

big brother watching,
none's writing bicycles.

There's one guy who can save the world.

And, man, that's you.

Yeah, besides, if you don't, I'm
going to send your face and blow ass.

Victory is mine, sure, the dangers.

And now I will poop
on the pretty little shoes.

Ha, ha, ha.

Only one chance.

Love.

Squeeze tighter.

I'm about ready to fudge.

For stopping out, she'll come in.

You cut one out the carrot.

Damn, I'm good.

Nice work.

Make it go number two.

And now for a little more drama.

That is one pissed off, Ninja lizard.

We give up.

It's back to selling gun porno for us.

Out of here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Well, that's it.

The world is saying, all right.

Don't even think of her, do we?

Yeah.

Hold the non-alcoholic champagne.

We're not through yet.

But we thought we'd
just take it on a chest pace.

Yeah, but the zombie virus is still
spreading throughout the internet.

Come on.

Let's follow those girls.

Where is everyone?

Me?

What are we doing now?

What are we doing now?

Screw that, crew excellence.

We just won our money so we can
catch the last train to Clark's mouth.

I said your world domination days are over.

Damn.

Who is pulling your strings?

You know your computer illiterate.

Yeah.

If you don't tell us,
you will go to prison.

It's been the rest of your life.

It's surrounded by brutal men
who have been you to their every will.

Ooh.

That's a tough one.

I can't let you grow to John Stephan.

We've put him up to it.

We thought the internet
was perverting our youngsters.

We were only trying to do good.

Oh, I just don't let it happen again.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you know, I don't really
mind paying my debt to society.

If we just swing by a drugstore,
I can just go turn myself in.

You've got junk mail.

Zombie software download complete.

Holy zett!

Sorry to ruin your plans, Puffter.

We found your email
address and replaced your

zombie software with a
website on acne harvesting.

Oh.

And we call the police.

You're not smart enough to take
my code and write a worm virus in it.

You had the help of
an evil computer genius.

Microsoft?

No.

It was Todd, you morons.

Doug, he's the only one that's left.

Very smart, Mr. Maverick.

Intercepting the final portion of my code.

Todd.

Todd.

Oh, yeah.

So you're the one who put
the pictures of us with the geeks.

All over school.

And paid the bimbo
underlings to bribe me to write a

code to put the picture
of the Pope all over the net.

What do you call a bimbo?

Steadboi.

Then you subverted Maverick's
code with a worm program

that invaded every net server
with your zombie software.

Time out.

Time out.

Way too complicated.

We're popular and they're not.

That's all it matters.

But I intercepted the intercept.

The final zombie code string is right here.

Insert into disk drive.

No!

That's the final code string.

In moments, the world will be mine.

Wow, you're going to
need a lot of office supplies.

He's only a few minutes
away from global domination.

Can you stop this?

Well, it's half of my code.

So I might be able to get
in through the back door.

Did he fade back door?

Oh, it's going to be a tight fit.

If I can just wedge it in there.

He's got his back door all plugged up.

His place is full of perverts.

It's no use.

We're almost out of time.

What's the matter, Angela?

Giving up on computer
science before you even try?

That's right.

She may be going to
college on a cheerleading

scholarship, but she's
majoring in computer science.

You're a geek.

A closet nerd.

Okay.

I admit it.

I'm a geek.

Dork.

Hacker spammer.

Coder zip popping.

Diet Pepsi drinking nerd.

But do you know what else?

I've got great tits.

Pass me the mustard quick.

This is between me and Todd.

So is Stephen.

What position do you want
in my new dictator show?

Did you see?

Did this show?

I have you now.

Not quite.

No!

You'll plug the plug trick.

Damn it.

It's the second time I
fall into that this week.

Yay!

We say the world.

We say the world.

We say the world.

Yeah, go ahead.

Rub it in.

Yeah.

Mark.

So you're a geek, huh?

All the hairspray, batting of the eyelashes,
and string of gorgeous boyfriends.

That was just a minute.

I'm afraid so, girls.

From now on, I'm going to
have to be honest about who I am.

That's good.

Because we really want to see it.

Oh.

Bam.

Abby and from Kentucky and all.

I think I really wanted
to use bullet paper.

That's a little too much
exposition, you want to think.

Dumed our children to the life
of internet, smut, and damnation.

It's your democracy.

Can't survive that all forms of speech.

That's right.

The internet is a vast
town square where

diverse ideas can be
understood by one another.

It is essential that
we celebrate the

uniqueness of the American spirit by
respecting the opinions of everyone.

Unless you've voiced an opinion
that disagrees with the government.

Sure.

That's correct.

Okay.

Why attack the internet, Stefan?

You know nothing about it.

Because it's full of gay
bastards and naked women.

That's not true.

The internet has pornography
for all kinds of sexual perversions.

There are thousands of
websites for homosexuals.

Plenty of naked men everywhere.

It's a dark slurfing,
record rangers, paradise.

Thanks.

I'm going to take them
downtown and book them.

I believe true crime comes from a
deep inner need that isn't fulfilled.

Sometimes they're just assholes.

Yeah.

Well, I'll wait.

I've got a better idea.

Well, it looks like we
learned a lot from each other.

You've decided not to
hide your intelligence.

And you'll never return a dress.

Excuse me!

I just love blind cheeks.

Gradually, Jane.

I'll be carrying a full-fledged
member of the Happy Valley High.

Sure, ladies and gentlemen.

Congrats, baby.

You're in.

You're in.

Hey, what about me?

And you two, Stefan.

Yes!

We have to kick that ball.

Kick that ball.

And this ball.

Remember, kids.

Don't judge a person by the race,
religion, or how funny they talk.

Instead, judging by the car they drive.

And how cute their shoes are.

Furthermore, it doesn't matter
if a guy's a little overweight.

Breath like the crotch
of an asphalt roofer.

In fact, from how it's a
person being executed.

All of the matters is
that you really love him.

And how much money he has.

Sure, ladies and gentlemen.

From infinity to infinity.

Wait, no, I'm sorry.

A teenage, sexual,
depressed, actual, just gravity.