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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,205 --> 00:00:31,408 There's a social worker out there with my kids. 2 00:00:31,508 --> 00:00:33,109 If this takes a while... 3 00:00:33,143 --> 00:00:34,410 We've got them. 4 00:00:34,444 --> 00:00:35,678 Don't worry. 5 00:00:35,712 --> 00:00:38,447 I just need the papers. 6 00:00:58,702 --> 00:01:00,770 We're gonna begin now. 7 00:01:00,804 --> 00:01:02,304 You can sit next to him. 8 00:01:41,745 --> 00:01:43,058 Wait. 9 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,574 - Ma'am... - Just wait! 10 00:01:56,245 --> 00:01:58,013 Derek. 11 00:02:02,265 --> 00:02:03,566 Derek. 12 00:02:04,711 --> 00:02:07,157 He was the love of my life. 13 00:02:08,133 --> 00:02:09,934 He was. 14 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:13,332 I doubt I'll ever love another man the way I loved him. 15 00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:15,058 I'm certain I won't. 16 00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:16,717 How could I? 17 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,178 But he's gone. That's the point, isn't it? 18 00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:22,005 He's gone, and I'm here, and, uh... 19 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:23,830 I'm here. 20 00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:29,258 Are you okay? 21 00:02:29,292 --> 00:02:30,926 Richard... 22 00:02:30,961 --> 00:02:33,796 Hey, Torres, I need help on a hip disarticulation today. 23 00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:35,929 - You want in? - Ooh, maybe. 24 00:02:35,954 --> 00:02:37,909 Uh, wait, you have to finish your story. 25 00:02:37,934 --> 00:02:39,669 So, you actually had to break his knee? 26 00:02:39,694 --> 00:02:42,562 No. So, I had to shove the rod back in there even harder, 27 00:02:42,587 --> 00:02:44,521 and it wound up cracking the tibial plateau. 28 00:02:44,546 --> 00:02:46,441 - Can I help you? - You're hogging the pot. 29 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:47,733 Everything looks different now. 30 00:02:47,758 --> 00:02:49,425 It feels so... 31 00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:50,670 Different. 32 00:02:50,695 --> 00:02:54,164 Maybe ask nicely, like a civilized human being. 33 00:02:54,189 --> 00:02:55,238 - Callie? - Hmm? 34 00:02:55,263 --> 00:02:56,723 - May I have the carafe, please? - Oh! 35 00:02:56,753 --> 00:02:58,275 - Mm-hmm. - See? 36 00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,633 It's quite easy, actually. 37 00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:00,924 Really? 38 00:03:02,044 --> 00:03:04,669 Hey, Mer, I heard there was weather near Dulles. 39 00:03:04,694 --> 00:03:06,646 Derek's flight got delayed, didn't it? 40 00:03:06,671 --> 00:03:08,281 I hate that airport. 41 00:03:08,331 --> 00:03:11,300 Pierce, my gallbladder guy's pacemaker keeps misfiring. 42 00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:12,768 You think you can take a look at it? 43 00:03:12,802 --> 00:03:14,770 Yeah, uh, I could do it right now. 44 00:03:14,804 --> 00:03:16,328 - Mm. - Derek is dead. 45 00:03:16,353 --> 00:03:18,911 No, you can't. No, um, I need you to place an IVC filter 46 00:03:18,936 --> 00:03:21,166 - on my laminectomy patient. - Okay, right. 47 00:03:21,191 --> 00:03:24,246 - Um, I could swing by in about 20. - Derek is dead. 48 00:03:24,281 --> 00:03:25,552 What was that? 49 00:03:25,692 --> 00:03:27,092 Derek... 50 00:03:27,479 --> 00:03:29,113 Is dead. 51 00:03:37,394 --> 00:03:39,383 I don't know what to do. 52 00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:41,463 I mean, I do... 53 00:03:41,498 --> 00:03:43,499 I know what I should do, but... 54 00:03:45,302 --> 00:03:46,602 I don't know. 55 00:03:49,572 --> 00:03:51,240 I don't know. 56 00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:54,276 Meredith... 57 00:03:54,311 --> 00:03:55,978 Meredith... 58 00:03:56,012 --> 00:03:57,479 - He's not dead. - Meredith, what do you mean? Meredith? 59 00:03:57,514 --> 00:03:59,381 What do you mean? 60 00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:01,116 Meredith? Meredith? 61 00:04:01,151 --> 00:04:03,218 What do you... No! 62 00:04:03,253 --> 00:04:04,837 I've lost him. 63 00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:07,500 Everything changed, and now it's... 64 00:04:08,358 --> 00:04:10,092 It's hard to accept it, I guess. 65 00:04:11,928 --> 00:04:13,095 He's gone. 66 00:04:13,692 --> 00:04:15,760 He's just gone. 67 00:04:15,785 --> 00:04:18,387 And there's no getting him back. 68 00:04:19,436 --> 00:04:22,371 Grey's Anatomy 11x22 She's Leaving Home 69 00:04:22,405 --> 00:04:26,942 Sync and corrections by Albanda www.Addic7ed.com 70 00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:30,045 Dr. Eisenberg, 4673. 71 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,380 Dr. Eisenberg... 72 00:04:31,414 --> 00:04:34,183 You can't go in there. 73 00:04:34,217 --> 00:04:36,885 - What? - Not until you've stopped crying. 74 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,191 Right. 75 00:04:40,075 --> 00:04:41,828 Okay, okay. 76 00:04:41,853 --> 00:04:42,918 I know. 77 00:04:43,093 --> 00:04:44,860 Hey, how is she? 78 00:04:44,894 --> 00:04:46,367 She's all right. She's dehydrated. 79 00:04:46,392 --> 00:04:48,193 How's Amelia holding up? 80 00:04:49,098 --> 00:04:51,032 What, she doesn't know? 81 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,725 She's in surgery. 82 00:04:52,831 --> 00:04:54,365 You know the protocol. 83 00:04:54,704 --> 00:04:56,849 Yeah. 84 00:04:56,874 --> 00:04:58,441 I know the protocol. 85 00:05:01,776 --> 00:05:03,312 Cervical spine is fractured. 86 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,852 So are both legs. Right foot has no pulse. 87 00:05:05,877 --> 00:05:07,773 We're gonna need to stabilize his spine. 88 00:05:07,798 --> 00:05:09,627 What did they say he was... a cop? 89 00:05:09,652 --> 00:05:11,687 Yeah, he fell off a building under construction during a chase. 90 00:05:11,721 --> 00:05:13,609 - Sorry it took me so long. - I was, um... 91 00:05:13,634 --> 00:05:16,503 It's fine. We brought him straight in from the helipad. 92 00:05:16,528 --> 00:05:19,830 Central line is in. Transfuse him with two units of blood. 93 00:05:19,855 --> 00:05:21,522 Torres, you should look at his leg. 94 00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:25,434 Torres? 95 00:05:25,468 --> 00:05:28,033 Yes. The leg. 96 00:05:28,884 --> 00:05:29,884 All right, sir, 97 00:05:29,919 --> 00:05:32,420 I need you to follow my light with your eyes. 98 00:05:32,454 --> 00:05:34,375 All right, good. 99 00:05:34,694 --> 00:05:36,047 Do you know where you are? 100 00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:37,525 Do you know your name? 101 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:38,635 Dan. 102 00:05:39,695 --> 00:05:41,429 - Pruitt. - That's his name... Dan Pruitt. 103 00:05:41,463 --> 00:05:44,866 I, uh, treated him a few months back. 104 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:46,901 Pressure's dropping. 105 00:05:46,936 --> 00:05:49,437 Let's start him on a dopamine drip and page general surgery. 106 00:05:49,471 --> 00:05:51,539 Let's get moving! Put him under! 107 00:06:04,453 --> 00:06:06,154 Can we have the room, please? 108 00:06:11,179 --> 00:06:12,813 Did you need something? 109 00:06:12,838 --> 00:06:14,806 Maybe we should have this conversation in my office. 110 00:06:14,831 --> 00:06:17,066 Look, I don't have time for... 111 00:06:30,412 --> 00:06:31,946 Who died? 112 00:06:31,981 --> 00:06:33,481 Amelia... 113 00:06:33,515 --> 00:06:35,316 I know the face. 114 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,728 I've been here before. 115 00:06:39,021 --> 00:06:41,256 Everyone thinks they are the first person in the world 116 00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:44,236 to ever look at a human being like that, but... 117 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,839 It's always the same face. 118 00:06:48,631 --> 00:06:50,298 Who is dead? 119 00:06:50,332 --> 00:06:52,150 Derek. 120 00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:56,502 It's Derek. 121 00:06:59,475 --> 00:07:01,492 I'm so, so sorry. 122 00:07:02,411 --> 00:07:05,306 It was an MVC accident, and he wanted to help. 123 00:07:05,331 --> 00:07:06,865 I don't need the details. 124 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,552 Dead is dead. 125 00:07:10,091 --> 00:07:11,737 I am so... 126 00:07:11,771 --> 00:07:14,239 So sorry. I wish there was something I could... 127 00:07:14,274 --> 00:07:15,685 Thank you... 128 00:07:16,113 --> 00:07:17,180 For telling me. 129 00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:19,211 - Amelia, if there's anything I can... - I'm good. 130 00:07:19,245 --> 00:07:21,699 I've done this before. I know the drill. 131 00:07:22,182 --> 00:07:23,949 It's not a big deal. 132 00:07:36,262 --> 00:07:39,064 Oh, my God. 133 00:07:45,772 --> 00:07:49,141 This is a day for us to celebrate Derek Shepherd's life 134 00:07:49,175 --> 00:07:52,678 and for each of us to say our goodbyes. 135 00:07:52,712 --> 00:07:58,383 Every day we celebrate him in some way... 136 00:07:58,418 --> 00:08:02,321 As a father, as a husband... 137 00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:09,161 as a brother, as a friend. 138 00:08:36,589 --> 00:08:38,290 it was a nice service. 139 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:41,293 I liked your poem. 140 00:08:52,939 --> 00:08:54,239 If something happens to me, 141 00:08:54,274 --> 00:08:57,543 do not let them hook me up to anything. 142 00:08:57,877 --> 00:08:59,912 Nothing. Understand? 143 00:08:59,946 --> 00:09:01,046 Just... 144 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,416 Donate my organs and let me go. 145 00:09:06,719 --> 00:09:08,754 If that's what you want... 146 00:09:08,788 --> 00:09:11,023 - Okay. - Okay. 147 00:09:16,796 --> 00:09:18,864 But if something happens to me... 148 00:09:18,898 --> 00:09:21,266 Hook me up... To everything 149 00:09:21,301 --> 00:09:23,869 and never let them unplug me... ever. 150 00:09:23,903 --> 00:09:25,903 Ben, I'm not joking about this. 151 00:09:26,439 --> 00:09:28,111 Neither am I. 152 00:09:28,136 --> 00:09:29,174 I want to live. 153 00:09:29,209 --> 00:09:31,410 I want extraordinary measures. 154 00:09:31,444 --> 00:09:33,712 The more extraordinary, the better. 155 00:09:36,082 --> 00:09:37,793 Seriously. 156 00:09:38,218 --> 00:09:40,085 Seriously. 157 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,354 Seriously? 158 00:09:53,633 --> 00:09:55,367 No running ever. 159 00:09:55,401 --> 00:09:57,026 That we'll take care of each other 160 00:09:57,051 --> 00:09:58,570 even when we're old and smelly. 161 00:09:58,605 --> 00:09:59,972 Tumor is here. 162 00:10:00,006 --> 00:10:01,406 Now you've completely lost your mind. 163 00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:02,875 You're like coming up for fresh air. 164 00:10:02,909 --> 00:10:05,156 It's you. It's always been you. 165 00:10:05,181 --> 00:10:06,445 They offered me the job again. 166 00:10:06,479 --> 00:10:07,846 Take it. 167 00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:11,283 Someone doesn't want to put her shoes on. 168 00:10:11,317 --> 00:10:12,718 Look, she's just so happy. 169 00:10:12,752 --> 00:10:14,985 You don't have any idea what's gonna happen, do you? 170 00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:16,791 Derek. 171 00:10:16,996 --> 00:10:18,215 Derek. 172 00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:22,164 Richard, you can't leave me! Richard, Richard! 173 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,065 I was swimming... 174 00:10:24,099 --> 00:10:25,666 And I let go. 175 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,536 I stopped fighting. 176 00:10:30,873 --> 00:10:32,106 Meredith, get up. 177 00:10:32,141 --> 00:10:33,875 Zo-zo, honey, wake up. 178 00:10:34,777 --> 00:10:37,045 Put these on. 179 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:41,515 You ready? 180 00:10:48,057 --> 00:10:49,958 Where are we going? 181 00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:52,860 Away, sweetie. 182 00:10:52,895 --> 00:10:54,581 We're going away. 183 00:11:02,805 --> 00:11:04,842 Come on, sweetheart, let's go. 184 00:11:10,165 --> 00:11:13,449 It's just so strange that she left with no warning. 185 00:11:13,474 --> 00:11:14,574 She left a note. 186 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:17,143 Uh, "the kids and I are safe"? Yeah, that's helpful. 187 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,013 I called Yang again, but she hasn't heard from Mer since the funeral. 188 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,448 Are you serious? That was weeks ago. 189 00:11:22,483 --> 00:11:24,751 W... Okay, I just don't understand. 190 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,815 I don't understand. I do not understand how you... 191 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,412 Uh, you want to go to a meeting after this? 192 00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:31,053 I'm good. Thanks. 193 00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:33,555 - Are you? - "So long, I'll see you later" or... 194 00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:35,048 You're basically living at the hospital. 195 00:11:35,073 --> 00:11:36,725 "trouble due to the fact that I am all... " 196 00:11:36,759 --> 00:11:37,893 I'm fine, Richard, really... 197 00:11:37,927 --> 00:11:39,228 "world right now." 198 00:11:39,262 --> 00:11:41,007 I mean, she just dropped everything... 199 00:11:41,032 --> 00:11:42,097 Her patients, her surgeries. 200 00:11:42,131 --> 00:11:44,299 Look, maybe it's time we hire a detective, 201 00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:45,901 make sure she's really safe. 202 00:11:45,935 --> 00:11:48,337 Yeah, I think we should call the police. 203 00:11:48,371 --> 00:11:49,738 Okay, that's... that's enough. 204 00:11:49,772 --> 00:11:52,274 Meredith Grey is not a missing person. 205 00:11:52,308 --> 00:11:53,976 She... She left a note. 206 00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:56,144 She's not jeopardizing her kids. 207 00:11:56,179 --> 00:11:57,946 She's not an irresponsible person. 208 00:11:57,981 --> 00:12:01,858 If she's gone, she's gone because she wants to be gone. 209 00:12:02,118 --> 00:12:04,157 She's doing what she knows how to do. 210 00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:06,288 Same as her mother. 211 00:12:06,322 --> 00:12:09,491 Ellis Grey left Seattle and never looked back. 212 00:12:11,361 --> 00:12:12,628 So, that's it? That... 213 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,136 We just let her go? 214 00:12:21,204 --> 00:12:22,999 You've reached Dr. Meredith Grey. 215 00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:39,321 You've reached Dr. Meredith Grey. 216 00:12:40,249 --> 00:12:42,400 _ 217 00:12:45,776 --> 00:12:47,983 And time isn't the same over there. 218 00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:50,577 - Hours don't exist. - There's only minutes, seconds. 219 00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,269 It's visceral and exciting. 220 00:12:52,294 --> 00:12:53,861 But you're chief. Uh... 221 00:12:53,886 --> 00:12:54,870 Well, not for the next few months. 222 00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,306 Webber is stepping in as interim chief. 223 00:12:57,340 --> 00:13:00,575 The work I'll get to do is raw and urgent. 224 00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:03,011 Kepner, you just feel so useful and good 225 00:13:03,046 --> 00:13:04,226 at the end of every day, 226 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,381 and after everything that's happened here, I... 227 00:13:06,416 --> 00:13:07,753 I'm ready. 228 00:13:07,778 --> 00:13:09,913 I'm ready for this kind of change. I just need to feel... 229 00:13:09,938 --> 00:13:11,057 Useful. 230 00:13:11,194 --> 00:13:12,761 And good. 231 00:13:13,389 --> 00:13:15,357 Yeah. 232 00:13:18,594 --> 00:13:20,262 I don't care how sick the kids are. 233 00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:21,602 I'm not doing this next year. 234 00:13:25,779 --> 00:13:28,214 Our patient has 60% surface area burns. 235 00:13:28,248 --> 00:13:31,016 She was pulled from a house fire this morning. Are you even listening? 236 00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:32,585 I'm... I'm sorry. I just... 237 00:13:32,619 --> 00:13:33,652 You need to prepare yourself. 238 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,193 Burns like this are... 239 00:13:35,855 --> 00:13:37,122 Difficult. 240 00:13:37,157 --> 00:13:38,891 This will not be easy. 241 00:13:42,128 --> 00:13:43,395 Hi, Anne. 242 00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:44,930 Dr. Wilson and I 243 00:13:44,965 --> 00:13:47,402 are here to start your first dressing changes. 244 00:13:48,168 --> 00:13:50,197 I'm so cold. 245 00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:51,770 I can't stop shaking. 246 00:13:51,805 --> 00:13:56,475 I mean, isn't that weird, that... that I got burned and... I'm cold? 247 00:13:56,509 --> 00:13:59,578 Well, your skin and your nerves have experienced severe damage. 248 00:13:59,613 --> 00:14:03,093 You are unable to retain heat or feel surface pain. 249 00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:05,451 Dr. Wilson, do you want to walk Anne through 250 00:14:05,485 --> 00:14:06,841 what we're gonna be doing today? 251 00:14:06,866 --> 00:14:09,334 We'll debride the burns layer by layer 252 00:14:09,359 --> 00:14:11,977 until we expose healthy tissue to... 253 00:14:12,013 --> 00:14:13,271 Help new skin grow. 254 00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:15,527 And it hurts like hell, 255 00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,997 so you might want to grab onto something. 256 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:21,000 - The bed rails work really well. - Who's that? 257 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,501 That... that's your neighbor, J.J. 258 00:14:22,535 --> 00:14:24,370 She was admitted a couple weeks ago. 259 00:14:24,404 --> 00:14:26,972 - Hello, J.J. - Oh, and do yourself a favor... 260 00:14:27,007 --> 00:14:29,125 Grab something to bite down on. 261 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:30,750 That's not... Thank you, J.J. 262 00:14:30,775 --> 00:14:33,382 - Is she serious? - We've got you under sedation. 263 00:14:33,407 --> 00:14:34,603 Barely works! 264 00:14:34,628 --> 00:14:36,010 Really, J.J.? 265 00:14:36,182 --> 00:14:40,119 We are going to do this as quickly as possible, okay, Anne? 266 00:14:40,153 --> 00:14:42,988 Um... Is my husband out there? 267 00:14:43,023 --> 00:14:46,181 Oh, um, I don't see him, but we can track him down. 268 00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:47,347 - Should I... - Uh, sure, yeah. 269 00:14:47,372 --> 00:14:48,873 Just... just be quick, okay? 270 00:14:48,898 --> 00:14:50,478 Ready to get started? 271 00:14:51,398 --> 00:14:53,599 Okay. You ready? 272 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,734 Okay. 273 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,108 Ow. Ow! 274 00:14:57,133 --> 00:14:59,267 - Oh, ow, that... that hurts! - I know. 275 00:15:02,643 --> 00:15:04,143 Okay, you see, 276 00:15:04,168 --> 00:15:06,947 that's why you want to get something to bite down on! 277 00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:13,206 I... I never... I never said you were boring. 278 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,960 Don't deny it. 279 00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:17,344 I got the whole story out of a resident... 280 00:15:17,378 --> 00:15:19,079 You thought I was boring. 281 00:15:19,113 --> 00:15:21,147 That's why we never had a second date. 282 00:15:22,283 --> 00:15:23,735 And, uh... 283 00:15:23,951 --> 00:15:26,186 Which resident told you this? 284 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,752 I'm not gonna put my C.I. at risk. 285 00:15:29,777 --> 00:15:32,058 - Um... - That's a confidential informant. 286 00:15:32,093 --> 00:15:33,803 It's cop talk. 287 00:15:33,961 --> 00:15:36,463 I'd elaborate, but you might think it's a little too boring. 288 00:15:39,266 --> 00:15:41,468 Relax, I'm just messing with you. 289 00:15:45,260 --> 00:15:47,240 Oh, okay, all right. 290 00:15:47,274 --> 00:15:48,408 Take it easy. 291 00:15:48,442 --> 00:15:50,744 That graft we used to close your abdomen is breaking down, 292 00:15:50,778 --> 00:15:52,627 and you're gonna need another series of surgeries 293 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,952 just to complete the closure, 294 00:15:54,124 --> 00:15:56,883 let alone to complete your spinal fusion. 295 00:15:56,917 --> 00:15:58,885 What about my leg? 296 00:15:58,919 --> 00:16:00,286 I know it's in pretty rough shape, 297 00:16:00,321 --> 00:16:02,122 but I'm gonna need it back if I'm gonna go back 298 00:16:02,156 --> 00:16:04,724 to chasing crooks and leaping over rooftops, 299 00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:08,094 you know, all that super-boring cop stuff. 300 00:16:08,129 --> 00:16:10,897 Come on. 301 00:16:10,931 --> 00:16:13,199 Don't make it that easy. Give a little back. 302 00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:14,734 I can take it, you know? 303 00:16:14,769 --> 00:16:18,139 Dan, I can't make you any promises about your leg. 304 00:16:18,572 --> 00:16:20,273 I'm gonna do everything that I can, 305 00:16:20,307 --> 00:16:22,947 but I am not confident that we'll be able to save it. 306 00:16:22,972 --> 00:16:25,388 There's a very, very long road ahead. 307 00:16:25,413 --> 00:16:26,413 Wow. 308 00:16:26,447 --> 00:16:29,082 When you sling it back, you don't mess around. 309 00:16:30,151 --> 00:16:31,919 But silver lining... 310 00:16:31,944 --> 00:16:33,787 This means you'll have that much more time 311 00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:35,288 to fall in love with me. 312 00:16:37,987 --> 00:16:40,160 Ow. Your face... 313 00:16:40,809 --> 00:16:42,328 Priceless. 314 00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:44,497 Yeah. 315 00:17:08,355 --> 00:17:11,191 How is what you're doing any different than Meredith Grey? 316 00:17:11,225 --> 00:17:12,692 We've been over this... 317 00:17:12,726 --> 00:17:14,194 Because my husband didn't die, 318 00:17:14,228 --> 00:17:16,262 because I'm not running away from anything, 319 00:17:16,297 --> 00:17:18,264 because this is an incredible opportunity for me 320 00:17:18,299 --> 00:17:21,367 to learn surgical techniques that I've never even dreamed of. 321 00:17:21,402 --> 00:17:22,869 Jackson, it's only three months. 322 00:17:22,903 --> 00:17:25,438 You could at least pretend to be happy for me. 323 00:17:25,473 --> 00:17:26,840 Why? I don't like it. 324 00:17:26,874 --> 00:17:28,341 I don't. 325 00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:29,642 It's dangerous. 326 00:17:29,677 --> 00:17:30,877 I'm not gonna be fighting! 327 00:17:30,911 --> 00:17:32,345 I'm gonna be doing surgery. 328 00:17:32,379 --> 00:17:34,180 I'm gonna be teaching, helping. 329 00:17:34,215 --> 00:17:37,217 These are all things that you do here every day. 330 00:17:37,251 --> 00:17:39,786 It makes me excited. 331 00:17:41,655 --> 00:17:42,822 Happy. 332 00:17:42,857 --> 00:17:44,657 Please... 333 00:17:44,692 --> 00:17:47,293 I need this. 334 00:17:47,328 --> 00:17:48,828 I want it. 335 00:17:48,863 --> 00:17:50,230 It's three months. 336 00:17:50,264 --> 00:17:53,366 Flight 721 to Los Angeles... 337 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,034 My flight's about to board. 338 00:17:55,069 --> 00:17:57,537 I... well, I can't leave if we're like this. 339 00:17:57,571 --> 00:18:01,307 Will you at least kiss me goodbye? 340 00:18:29,370 --> 00:18:31,371 _ 341 00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:36,835 Ready? 1, 2... 342 00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:38,370 You do know what you're doing? 343 00:18:38,405 --> 00:18:39,538 I'm a surgeon. 344 00:18:39,572 --> 00:18:43,486 You ruined my day at the lake, poking a hornet's nest. 345 00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:44,888 You know that's a saying. 346 00:18:44,913 --> 00:18:47,214 People do not actually poke the hornet's nest. 347 00:18:47,239 --> 00:18:48,406 I didn't do it on p... 348 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:49,798 Ow! What's... what? 349 00:18:49,817 --> 00:18:51,284 You baby. 350 00:18:51,319 --> 00:18:53,286 And you want to be kept alive forever. 351 00:18:53,321 --> 00:18:55,355 You can't deal with a pair of sharp tweezers. 352 00:18:55,389 --> 00:19:00,427 You want to be intubated, catheterized, multiple I.V.S, 353 00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:04,431 central lines in the neck and groin, 354 00:19:04,465 --> 00:19:07,300 and bed sores all because you can't get it together, 355 00:19:07,335 --> 00:19:09,557 let Jesus take the wheel. 356 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,410 What? 357 00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:14,573 Look, look, if I am lying in a hospital bed 358 00:19:14,608 --> 00:19:17,077 in such bad shape that it has reached that point 359 00:19:17,111 --> 00:19:18,111 that some doctor 360 00:19:18,145 --> 00:19:20,380 is talking to you about extraordinary measures, 361 00:19:20,414 --> 00:19:22,716 I am not gonna let Jesus take the wheel. 362 00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:24,484 No, you know when Jesus should've taken the wheel, 363 00:19:24,518 --> 00:19:26,453 when he should've been flipping his turn signals 364 00:19:26,487 --> 00:19:27,587 and shifting gears? 365 00:19:27,621 --> 00:19:29,255 When whatever bad thing that happened 366 00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,891 to make me suffer a traumatic brain injury was happening, 367 00:19:31,926 --> 00:19:35,228 but instead, Jesus was clearly out joyriding with someone else 368 00:19:35,262 --> 00:19:37,497 because there I am gorked in a bed. 369 00:19:37,531 --> 00:19:39,499 So, no, I'm not gonna let Jesus take the wheel. 370 00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:41,401 I'm not gonna let Jesus anywhere near my damn car! 371 00:19:41,435 --> 00:19:43,436 I'm driving! 372 00:19:43,471 --> 00:19:46,473 Science is driving. 373 00:19:48,542 --> 00:19:51,511 I did not stab him in the neck with these tweezers. 374 00:19:51,545 --> 00:19:53,214 I want that noted. 375 00:19:53,547 --> 00:19:55,348 Hey. Anything today? 376 00:19:55,383 --> 00:19:57,317 - No. You? - Nothing. 377 00:19:57,351 --> 00:19:59,019 Still no word at all? 378 00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:00,420 She doesn't reply to e-mails. 379 00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:02,522 Or her freakin' phone. 380 00:20:02,556 --> 00:20:04,157 Two hours... two... 381 00:20:04,191 --> 00:20:05,692 For a routine neuro consult. 382 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,260 I get we're down a guy, but I'm sorry, 383 00:20:07,294 --> 00:20:08,416 the board needs to get off their asses 384 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,830 and hire a new neurosurgeon already. 385 00:20:10,865 --> 00:20:13,033 Don't make a scene. It's not worth it. 386 00:20:13,067 --> 00:20:14,100 I know. 387 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,468 Well, it's irresponsible is what it is. 388 00:20:15,503 --> 00:20:16,683 It's bad management. 389 00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:18,004 How hard is it to find o... 390 00:20:18,039 --> 00:20:19,806 Really?! 391 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,207 Really? 392 00:20:21,242 --> 00:20:23,343 You think that we need to just get off our asses? 393 00:20:23,377 --> 00:20:24,811 We should do you that solid 394 00:20:24,845 --> 00:20:26,846 because the loss of our colleague and friend 395 00:20:26,881 --> 00:20:29,616 is all about your needs, your schedule? 396 00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:31,518 You think that we should be sensitive to that? 397 00:20:31,552 --> 00:20:32,752 How about you take a minute 398 00:20:32,787 --> 00:20:36,222 to think about the person, the talent, the life that we lost?! 399 00:20:36,257 --> 00:20:39,325 How about you think before you start complaining 400 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,762 that Derek Shepherd's death has been inconvenient for you?! 401 00:20:53,407 --> 00:20:55,243 I made a scene. 402 00:20:59,413 --> 00:21:01,815 Okay, there are hypertrophic bone spurs. 403 00:21:01,849 --> 00:21:03,683 We just need to bite them off, and we'll be set. 404 00:21:03,717 --> 00:21:05,218 So, no foraminotomy? 405 00:21:05,252 --> 00:21:06,186 I really don't think we need it. 406 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:07,187 Oh, really? 407 00:21:07,221 --> 00:21:09,389 Because I'm not having any success with his leg. 408 00:21:09,423 --> 00:21:11,815 He's... probably gonna lose it 409 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,870 and Dan and I were hoping he's a viable candidate for a bionic prosthesis, 410 00:21:14,895 --> 00:21:18,998 so if he's in chronic pain or in a C-collar for too long 411 00:21:19,033 --> 00:21:20,333 and that delays rehab, which... 412 00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:21,534 I realize this isn't the method 413 00:21:21,569 --> 00:21:23,103 my dear, dead brother would have used. 414 00:21:23,137 --> 00:21:24,537 His method would actually be clunkier 415 00:21:24,572 --> 00:21:26,539 and offer less support than mine, 416 00:21:26,574 --> 00:21:28,341 so let's do it my way. 417 00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:32,918 I don't think Derek will mind, on account of he is dead. 418 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,247 Cool? 419 00:21:34,281 --> 00:21:37,550 Sure. Totally, totally cool. 420 00:21:37,585 --> 00:21:38,718 Great. 421 00:21:38,752 --> 00:21:40,720 - Rongeur, please. - Ohh! 422 00:21:40,754 --> 00:21:42,388 Ow! 423 00:21:42,423 --> 00:21:44,190 Oh, no, it hurts more! 424 00:21:44,225 --> 00:21:45,525 Honey, honey, you're doing great. 425 00:21:45,559 --> 00:21:46,960 I know that it's painful, 426 00:21:46,994 --> 00:21:48,228 but that just means that you're healing, 427 00:21:48,262 --> 00:21:49,729 and then the more you heal, 428 00:21:49,763 --> 00:21:51,931 - the more your nerves regrow. - The more your nerves regrow. 429 00:21:51,966 --> 00:21:53,466 Yeah, isn't that a bitch? 430 00:21:53,501 --> 00:21:56,069 The better you get, the more it hurts. 431 00:21:56,103 --> 00:21:58,538 And then they send Dr. Wilson in here. 432 00:21:58,572 --> 00:22:00,406 What, all the ugly doctors are busy 433 00:22:00,441 --> 00:22:03,309 so they got to enlist Snow White 434 00:22:03,344 --> 00:22:05,211 to come and peel us like a grape? 435 00:22:05,246 --> 00:22:06,779 J.J., you're not helping! 436 00:22:06,814 --> 00:22:09,949 No, no, actually, that's... that's funny! 437 00:22:09,984 --> 00:22:12,619 She is p... 438 00:22:13,821 --> 00:22:15,555 I know. 439 00:22:15,589 --> 00:22:19,159 I mean, seriously, they're sending in a Disney princess, 440 00:22:19,193 --> 00:22:20,393 so what does that make us? 441 00:22:20,427 --> 00:22:22,228 The seven dwarves? 442 00:22:22,263 --> 00:22:24,664 Two of them, anyway. 443 00:22:24,698 --> 00:22:27,233 Okay, I'm, um, I'll be Burny, 444 00:22:27,268 --> 00:22:28,835 and you can be Screamy. 445 00:22:30,504 --> 00:22:33,973 And... and, you know, there... there's... 446 00:22:34,008 --> 00:22:35,575 There's that guy down the hall 447 00:22:35,609 --> 00:22:37,443 Who just lost a leg 448 00:22:37,478 --> 00:22:42,567 and... and that woman who's in the trauma room next to me. 449 00:22:43,017 --> 00:22:45,151 And she was, like, dying, 450 00:22:45,186 --> 00:22:46,986 but she wouldn't stop complaining 451 00:22:47,021 --> 00:22:50,490 about the service she was getting. 452 00:22:50,524 --> 00:22:53,593 They c... They can be dwarves, too. 453 00:22:53,627 --> 00:22:56,218 Stumpy and Bitchy. 454 00:22:56,697 --> 00:22:58,431 Stumpy and Bitchy. 455 00:22:59,633 --> 00:23:01,601 Yeah. Yeah. 456 00:23:03,814 --> 00:23:05,748 Okay, I'm gonna go again. 457 00:23:11,212 --> 00:23:12,445 I'm right here. I got you. 458 00:23:12,479 --> 00:23:13,846 It's okay. You're okay. 459 00:23:13,881 --> 00:23:15,448 It's okay. 460 00:23:15,482 --> 00:23:17,517 You know who they should've sent in here 461 00:23:17,551 --> 00:23:19,986 was Mary freakin' Poppins. 462 00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:21,354 I bet she had some morphine 463 00:23:21,388 --> 00:23:23,623 in that bag of crap she carried around with her. 464 00:23:24,758 --> 00:23:29,662 Okay, so we got, um, Burny, Screamy, Stumpy, Bitchy. 465 00:23:29,697 --> 00:23:31,764 - Who else? - For God's sake, shut up! 466 00:23:36,854 --> 00:23:38,208 Lance... 467 00:23:40,330 --> 00:23:42,672 Okay, we're gonna take five, okay? 468 00:23:42,776 --> 00:23:44,181 Lance? 469 00:23:52,219 --> 00:23:54,573 He's just scared. 470 00:23:55,589 --> 00:23:57,993 This is scary for him. 471 00:23:58,892 --> 00:24:01,394 Then, um, he fits in perfectly. 472 00:24:01,428 --> 00:24:02,996 Okay, we've got, um, 473 00:24:03,030 --> 00:24:07,734 we've got Burny, Screamy, Stumpy, Bitchy, and Scaredy. 474 00:24:08,522 --> 00:24:11,271 Yeah. 475 00:24:14,643 --> 00:24:17,208 _ 476 00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,449 We should try to find her. 477 00:24:19,484 --> 00:24:22,352 She's not a rogue agent. She's not on the lam. 478 00:24:22,386 --> 00:24:24,788 She's a single mother with two kids. 479 00:24:24,822 --> 00:24:26,289 How hard could it be? 480 00:24:26,324 --> 00:24:27,858 Really freakin' hard. 481 00:24:27,892 --> 00:24:30,093 I called anyone I could think of... 482 00:24:30,127 --> 00:24:31,862 Cristina, her father... 483 00:24:31,896 --> 00:24:33,897 And then I thought maybe Webber was right, 484 00:24:33,931 --> 00:24:36,132 maybe she followed in Ellis' footsteps. 485 00:24:36,167 --> 00:24:37,625 So, I started calling hospitals in Boston 486 00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:40,704 and asking for Dr. Grey just to see if anyone would answer. 487 00:24:42,139 --> 00:24:45,108 Oh. Wow. 488 00:24:45,142 --> 00:24:47,110 Yeah, here we go. 489 00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:53,049 This isn't why I came to Seattle. 490 00:24:53,084 --> 00:24:55,327 Ooh. 491 00:24:55,797 --> 00:25:00,334 I didn't know exactly why I was coming, but... 492 00:25:00,658 --> 00:25:03,293 I knew it had to do with finding out about my family, 493 00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:05,111 and I found Meredith. 494 00:25:06,163 --> 00:25:07,664 And then she... 495 00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:14,592 I never felt abandoned by my birth mother. 496 00:25:15,141 --> 00:25:17,643 My parents never let me, not for a second. 497 00:25:18,053 --> 00:25:20,188 We were meant to be a family. 498 00:25:20,213 --> 00:25:22,414 I believe that. I know that. 499 00:25:25,551 --> 00:25:26,918 But... 500 00:25:31,527 --> 00:25:34,816 But I think this is how I would've felt... 501 00:25:36,732 --> 00:25:38,633 If I had. 502 00:25:42,137 --> 00:25:43,972 You've reached Dr. Meredith Grey. 503 00:25:44,006 --> 00:25:46,040 Look, cut it out. 504 00:25:46,075 --> 00:25:47,609 It's not fair to any of us. 505 00:25:47,643 --> 00:25:49,677 Just tell me that you're okay and that you're safe. 506 00:25:49,712 --> 00:25:52,146 That's all. Just do that. 507 00:26:05,361 --> 00:26:06,794 - Hey. - Hey. 508 00:26:06,829 --> 00:26:08,329 Why haven't you been picking up today? 509 00:26:08,364 --> 00:26:10,031 I've been working. 510 00:26:10,065 --> 00:26:12,333 Okay, well, now I've only got a couple mikes, so... 511 00:26:12,368 --> 00:26:15,036 - Who's... who's Mike? What? - Uh, mikes, uh, minutes. 512 00:26:15,070 --> 00:26:16,237 I just... I have to hurry. 513 00:26:16,272 --> 00:26:19,140 Oh, okay, well, only a couple more days of this, right? 514 00:26:19,174 --> 00:26:22,143 Pretty soon, you'll be back here and we'll be both on the same crazy schedule. 515 00:26:22,177 --> 00:26:23,711 Yeah, right, that's what I have to... 516 00:26:23,746 --> 00:26:24,812 Oh, I have a confession to make. 517 00:26:24,847 --> 00:26:26,106 - Um... - So do I. 518 00:26:26,131 --> 00:26:27,136 We have a new couch. 519 00:26:27,161 --> 00:26:29,250 There was an accident involving molé 520 00:26:29,285 --> 00:26:31,919 and a really exciting national league playoff game, actually, 521 00:26:31,954 --> 00:26:35,256 and, um, couldn't get the stain out, so just... 522 00:26:35,291 --> 00:26:37,216 New couch. 523 00:26:37,393 --> 00:26:39,692 I'm not coming home next week. 524 00:26:41,797 --> 00:26:43,431 - What? - I just... 525 00:26:43,465 --> 00:26:45,166 - I can't... - Apr... ? 526 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,102 Teaching people these techniques. Uh, we've barely started. 527 00:26:48,137 --> 00:26:50,405 I mean, the level of need here is so... 528 00:26:50,439 --> 00:26:52,407 Children. 529 00:26:52,441 --> 00:26:54,175 I mean, Jackson, if you were here, 530 00:26:54,209 --> 00:26:55,610 you'd know what I'm talking about. 531 00:26:55,644 --> 00:26:59,247 It's just... just, I don't feel like I'm done yet. 532 00:26:59,281 --> 00:27:01,282 Understand? 533 00:27:01,317 --> 00:27:02,669 I do. 534 00:27:02,942 --> 00:27:05,143 And... I don't. 535 00:27:05,168 --> 00:27:06,187 I mean, are you... 536 00:27:06,221 --> 00:27:08,056 Are you telling me that's your decision, 537 00:27:08,090 --> 00:27:09,891 or you want to talk about this now, or... 538 00:27:09,925 --> 00:27:11,426 Well, now, uh... 539 00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:14,472 No, I can't... I can't now. 540 00:27:14,497 --> 00:27:17,032 Um, can I try you back at 1300 hours? 541 00:27:17,057 --> 00:27:19,591 I'll be sleeping. That's like 3:00 A.M. 542 00:27:19,616 --> 00:27:22,359 All right, so, when are you saying you can be home? 543 00:27:22,384 --> 00:27:24,218 April? 544 00:27:24,273 --> 00:27:25,640 - Jackson... - April? 545 00:27:34,884 --> 00:27:38,053 This is such a lovely meal. 546 00:27:38,078 --> 00:27:39,489 Really nice. 547 00:27:40,227 --> 00:27:42,250 More than nice. 548 00:27:45,050 --> 00:27:47,118 You keep me on my toes, Catherine Avery. 549 00:27:49,216 --> 00:27:50,755 You make me very happy. 550 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:06,493 Richard Webber, 551 00:28:06,528 --> 00:28:09,528 if you are about to do what I believe you're about to do, 552 00:28:09,553 --> 00:28:10,891 you should stop. 553 00:28:13,685 --> 00:28:15,822 - Catherine, w... - No, please, please. 554 00:28:15,847 --> 00:28:18,882 You should not be asking this question 555 00:28:18,901 --> 00:28:21,135 without knowing my answer. 556 00:28:21,170 --> 00:28:22,914 Well, I thought I did. 557 00:28:23,218 --> 00:28:25,285 We are not new to this. 558 00:28:25,641 --> 00:28:27,108 We know better than to get caught up 559 00:28:27,142 --> 00:28:29,875 in some grand, romantic gesture. 560 00:28:30,079 --> 00:28:32,847 We know what marriage really is. 561 00:28:32,881 --> 00:28:34,882 It's a merger, a contract. 562 00:28:34,917 --> 00:28:36,851 No one should enter a binding contract 563 00:28:36,885 --> 00:28:41,096 without careful, lengthy, practical consideration. 564 00:28:41,557 --> 00:28:43,791 Sounds so romantic. 565 00:28:43,826 --> 00:28:45,956 No, and it shouldn't be. 566 00:28:46,495 --> 00:28:50,634 You know what? Yes, it should. 567 00:28:51,867 --> 00:28:54,402 You know, I pulled back on the romance tonight 568 00:28:54,436 --> 00:28:55,905 because I knew... 569 00:28:57,406 --> 00:28:59,407 If I could... 570 00:28:59,441 --> 00:29:01,676 I'd fill this room with roses. 571 00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:05,046 I'd have invited all of our friends. 572 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,582 I would've hired a quartet or a soloist 573 00:29:07,616 --> 00:29:09,250 or a damn mariachi band 574 00:29:09,284 --> 00:29:11,886 to start playing the minute you said yes, 575 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:16,224 because a proposal should be romantic. 576 00:29:16,258 --> 00:29:18,625 It's... That's how I see it. 577 00:29:19,294 --> 00:29:23,064 It's not a... Hollow gesture. 578 00:29:23,098 --> 00:29:26,567 It's me... telling you... 579 00:29:26,602 --> 00:29:28,669 how much I love you. 580 00:29:29,794 --> 00:29:31,539 But, um... 581 00:29:33,208 --> 00:29:35,109 Clearly, we disagree. 582 00:29:40,058 --> 00:29:43,050 I take it we're splitting the check? 583 00:29:48,049 --> 00:29:51,081 _ 584 00:29:53,874 --> 00:29:55,408 Oh! 585 00:29:55,442 --> 00:29:56,843 All right, where's the remote? 586 00:29:56,877 --> 00:29:58,511 Splash on over to... 587 00:29:58,545 --> 00:30:00,980 You know, uh, people wake up. 588 00:30:01,727 --> 00:30:03,862 Statistically, people don't wake up. 589 00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:05,555 Well, who's to say I couldn't defy the odds 590 00:30:05,589 --> 00:30:06,595 and... and be a miracle man? 591 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:08,191 There you go with the miracles again. 592 00:30:08,225 --> 00:30:10,059 Oh, you believe in Jesus but you don't believe in miracles? 593 00:30:10,093 --> 00:30:12,495 Um, Jesus didn't hook you up to a bunch of machines. 594 00:30:12,529 --> 00:30:13,663 Jesus isn't an idiot. 595 00:30:13,697 --> 00:30:16,132 Okay, you know what? 596 00:30:16,166 --> 00:30:17,400 You and all your little snide comments, 597 00:30:17,434 --> 00:30:18,501 you can take them and you can... 598 00:30:18,535 --> 00:30:19,735 - Oh, it's back on. - Mm. 599 00:30:22,406 --> 00:30:23,906 Okay, see, she's about to die. 600 00:30:23,941 --> 00:30:25,842 Oh, she's definitely gonna die. 601 00:30:28,814 --> 00:30:32,416 Look at this guy's spinal abscess. 602 00:30:32,584 --> 00:30:34,418 Sloppy. 603 00:30:34,443 --> 00:30:36,110 - Who was the primary? - Dr. Nelson. 604 00:30:36,178 --> 00:30:37,945 Ah, it figures. 605 00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:41,949 If Derek saw this, he would roll over in his grave. 606 00:30:42,551 --> 00:30:44,318 Can you actually do that? 607 00:30:44,353 --> 00:30:46,253 Roll over in a grave? 608 00:30:46,288 --> 00:30:47,874 I mean, a casket's pretty snug. 609 00:30:47,899 --> 00:30:50,691 There's not a lot of room to move in there. 610 00:30:50,726 --> 00:30:52,023 More like shake. 611 00:30:52,048 --> 00:30:54,819 If Derek saw this, he would shake in his grave. 612 00:30:54,844 --> 00:30:56,245 Shimmy, maybe. 613 00:30:56,270 --> 00:30:57,341 Please stop. 614 00:30:57,772 --> 00:30:59,051 Stop what? 615 00:30:59,076 --> 00:31:02,445 You've been making a lot of jokes and comments about... 616 00:31:02,470 --> 00:31:03,636 My dead brother? 617 00:31:03,839 --> 00:31:05,439 Yeah, which... 618 00:31:05,474 --> 00:31:07,842 No judgment... it just makes me very uncomfortable. 619 00:31:07,876 --> 00:31:09,343 Why? It's the truth. 620 00:31:09,378 --> 00:31:11,379 He's my brother... 621 00:31:11,413 --> 00:31:13,246 And he's dead. 622 00:31:16,885 --> 00:31:19,320 Y... There are some... 623 00:31:21,657 --> 00:31:24,725 I checked, and there are some grief groups that meet, 624 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,395 and I just thought, look, I can go with you. 625 00:31:27,429 --> 00:31:30,131 My grandmother passed last year. It would be really good for me, too. 626 00:31:30,165 --> 00:31:32,800 Edwards, I have a morbid sense of humor, but I'm fine. 627 00:31:32,834 --> 00:31:34,735 I don't need a group. 628 00:31:34,770 --> 00:31:38,472 But thank you. It's very thoughtful of you. 629 00:31:38,507 --> 00:31:40,508 - Okay? - Okay. 630 00:31:40,542 --> 00:31:43,478 Let's just put it to rest. 631 00:31:43,745 --> 00:31:45,446 Like my brother. 632 00:31:46,515 --> 00:31:47,830 Ha! 633 00:31:49,451 --> 00:31:52,293 Agh! 634 00:31:52,318 --> 00:31:53,704 You're doing great, Anne. 635 00:31:53,729 --> 00:31:56,030 It's okay. 636 00:31:56,055 --> 00:31:57,822 Just keep going. 637 00:31:59,861 --> 00:32:02,863 Tell me more about how you're gonna fix me. 638 00:32:02,898 --> 00:32:05,332 Okay, well, our next surgery 639 00:32:05,367 --> 00:32:08,002 is to remove skin from around your hips 640 00:32:08,036 --> 00:32:12,300 and graft onto these cheek scars here and then here. 641 00:32:13,542 --> 00:32:16,100 So, you're gonna chop off my love handles? 642 00:32:17,784 --> 00:32:19,752 Did you hear that, J.J.? 643 00:32:19,777 --> 00:32:21,889 I'm gonna get a smaller waist out of this. 644 00:32:21,914 --> 00:32:25,050 Oh, they can take whatever they want off my ass. 645 00:32:28,423 --> 00:32:30,124 When do we get started? 646 00:32:30,158 --> 00:32:32,927 Well, I just need to get that infection in your nose 647 00:32:32,961 --> 00:32:35,963 under control before we start the grafting procedures. 648 00:32:35,997 --> 00:32:37,663 I see. 649 00:32:39,384 --> 00:32:42,970 So, where's husband of the year today? 650 00:32:43,811 --> 00:32:45,639 He was here this morning. 651 00:32:45,674 --> 00:32:47,408 Brought bagels. 652 00:32:47,442 --> 00:32:48,771 She doesn't need bagels. 653 00:32:49,478 --> 00:32:50,845 She needs a hand to hold. 654 00:32:52,681 --> 00:32:54,615 So, um... 655 00:32:54,649 --> 00:32:56,283 So, it's still gonna be a little while 656 00:32:56,318 --> 00:32:58,519 before we really get going with the grafts, huh? 657 00:32:59,788 --> 00:33:01,055 Okay. 658 00:33:01,089 --> 00:33:02,623 Yeah, that's okay. 659 00:33:02,657 --> 00:33:05,426 Excuse me. 660 00:33:16,037 --> 00:33:17,705 Sorry about that. 661 00:33:23,097 --> 00:33:25,464 _ 662 00:33:31,653 --> 00:33:33,254 No, no, no, no, that's dessert! 663 00:33:33,288 --> 00:33:35,589 I am sorry, but that turkey is three hours away. 664 00:33:35,624 --> 00:33:37,091 I didn't know it was gonna take all day. 665 00:33:37,125 --> 00:33:38,926 Didn't your mother ever teach you how to roast a turk... 666 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,961 No, 'cause I never had a mother 667 00:33:40,996 --> 00:33:43,063 and I didn't have an oven in my car. 668 00:33:44,132 --> 00:33:45,499 Point taken. 669 00:33:45,534 --> 00:33:47,207 Doesn't help the fact that I'm starving. 670 00:33:47,232 --> 00:33:49,045 - I have food. - Oh, my God, thank you! 671 00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,272 Damn it, Alex. 672 00:33:51,306 --> 00:33:53,140 Hey, it was a good effort, 673 00:33:53,175 --> 00:33:55,709 but the only thing that bird is stuffed with is food poisoning. 674 00:33:55,744 --> 00:33:58,679 Oh, my God, I'm so frickin' hungry! 675 00:33:58,713 --> 00:33:59,758 Ah! 676 00:33:59,807 --> 00:34:01,908 - There. - Mm. Mm-hmm. 677 00:34:17,571 --> 00:34:19,538 Hey! Hey, you're alive! 678 00:34:19,563 --> 00:34:20,634 Alex, listen... 679 00:34:20,669 --> 00:34:22,736 I'm fine. The kids are fine. 680 00:34:22,771 --> 00:34:24,705 We're okay. I'm fine. 681 00:34:24,739 --> 00:34:26,373 Please stop calling. 682 00:34:32,132 --> 00:34:34,882 _ 683 00:34:37,753 --> 00:34:38,753 So, my partner says, 684 00:34:38,788 --> 00:34:40,589 "who's gonna play Santa at the holiday party?" 685 00:34:40,623 --> 00:34:41,690 And I say, 686 00:34:41,724 --> 00:34:43,391 "I don't know. I'm stumped." 687 00:34:43,426 --> 00:34:44,793 Oh. 688 00:34:45,928 --> 00:34:48,630 Please, that's the easiest amputation joke in the book. 689 00:34:48,664 --> 00:34:49,698 - Yeah. - Hmm. 690 00:34:49,732 --> 00:34:51,800 You have plans for the holidays? 691 00:34:51,834 --> 00:34:53,602 Um, yeah, my ex and I 692 00:34:53,636 --> 00:34:55,704 are splitting Christmas with our daughter, 693 00:34:55,738 --> 00:34:57,927 so I get Christmas Eve this year, 694 00:34:57,952 --> 00:34:59,374 and, uh, she gets Christmas day. 695 00:34:59,408 --> 00:35:01,179 - Dr. Torres... - Well... 696 00:35:02,845 --> 00:35:04,212 Callie... 697 00:35:04,247 --> 00:35:05,686 I need to say something. 698 00:35:06,249 --> 00:35:07,816 - Dan... - No, please, just... 699 00:35:08,618 --> 00:35:10,619 Let me say this. 700 00:35:11,397 --> 00:35:13,234 I think that I was... 701 00:35:13,823 --> 00:35:14,923 I was meant to meet you. 702 00:35:14,957 --> 00:35:15,957 No, Dan, Dan. 703 00:35:15,992 --> 00:35:17,893 Dan, Dan, Dan, let me say this. 704 00:35:17,927 --> 00:35:20,729 When... when a doctor cares for a patient 705 00:35:20,763 --> 00:35:22,264 for an extended period of time, 706 00:35:22,298 --> 00:35:25,166 that care can often feel to the patient 707 00:35:25,201 --> 00:35:27,135 like, um, affection. 708 00:35:27,971 --> 00:35:29,178 What? 709 00:35:29,203 --> 00:35:30,350 What? 710 00:35:30,375 --> 00:35:32,476 I meant as my doctor, but please keep going. 711 00:35:32,501 --> 00:35:33,535 - This is great. - Oh... 712 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,661 Oh, my God! 713 00:35:35,811 --> 00:35:37,646 Uh, look, 714 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,814 that first date, it sucked. 715 00:35:39,849 --> 00:35:41,816 - Mm-hmm. - I get it. 716 00:35:41,851 --> 00:35:44,819 But it got me to you, and I think I needed you for this. 717 00:35:45,404 --> 00:35:46,917 Like... 718 00:35:48,024 --> 00:35:50,346 I couldn't have survived this without you. 719 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,994 So, thank you. 720 00:35:57,300 --> 00:35:58,627 Merry Christmas, Dr. Torres. 721 00:36:00,002 --> 00:36:01,436 Merry Christmas. 722 00:36:04,450 --> 00:36:07,040 Tuck must've been not even slightly naughty. 723 00:36:07,065 --> 00:36:09,700 Do not mock divorced-mother guilt. 724 00:36:09,725 --> 00:36:11,293 Oh, hand me that bow. 725 00:36:13,363 --> 00:36:16,059 What if I met Idris Elba? 726 00:36:17,391 --> 00:36:18,420 What? 727 00:36:18,454 --> 00:36:22,157 Well, you're hooked up to endless machines, 728 00:36:22,191 --> 00:36:24,626 having the time of your brain-dead life 729 00:36:24,660 --> 00:36:26,555 with extraordinary measures, 730 00:36:26,580 --> 00:36:29,749 and since you are technically alive, 731 00:36:30,076 --> 00:36:31,543 well, then I'm not single, 732 00:36:31,568 --> 00:36:33,318 I am not a widow. 733 00:36:33,365 --> 00:36:35,666 Years pass, and, uh... 734 00:36:35,980 --> 00:36:38,048 Okay, I'm not the kind of woman who... 735 00:36:38,607 --> 00:36:43,144 Okay, there are people who think that sex isn't cheating, 736 00:36:43,179 --> 00:36:44,436 there are people out there 737 00:36:44,461 --> 00:36:47,482 who think that an emotional affair isn't cheating. 738 00:36:47,516 --> 00:36:49,217 Well, I'm not either kind of person... 739 00:36:49,251 --> 00:36:50,585 It's all cheating. 740 00:36:50,619 --> 00:36:52,821 Even though my husband is an idiot 741 00:36:52,855 --> 00:36:55,924 who thinks that he will have a one-in-a-zillion chance... 742 00:36:55,958 --> 00:36:57,559 Now, look, there are documented cases 743 00:36:57,593 --> 00:36:59,160 of people waking up after years of... 744 00:36:59,195 --> 00:37:01,646 There are documented cases of people who've seen the Loch Ness monster, too. 745 00:37:01,671 --> 00:37:02,905 So what? 746 00:37:02,930 --> 00:37:05,532 I will be locked up like some nun, 747 00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:08,692 withering and wasting away lonely and alone 748 00:37:08,717 --> 00:37:10,065 all because you're mad at Jesus, 749 00:37:10,090 --> 00:37:12,191 so I don't get to have Idris. 750 00:37:12,241 --> 00:37:13,842 You're taking away my Idris chance. 751 00:37:13,876 --> 00:37:16,526 - What? - Idris Elba! 752 00:37:16,551 --> 00:37:19,831 He could come to Seattle, witness an accident, 753 00:37:19,856 --> 00:37:20,992 save a child's life, 754 00:37:21,017 --> 00:37:24,052 carry that child in his arms, bare-chested, 755 00:37:24,086 --> 00:37:25,253 into my trauma room. 756 00:37:25,287 --> 00:37:26,888 You don't know. 757 00:37:26,922 --> 00:37:28,747 So, you're gonna pull the plug on me 758 00:37:28,772 --> 00:37:32,641 so you can have your way with Idris Elba? 759 00:37:33,728 --> 00:37:36,330 It's Idris Elba! 760 00:37:37,665 --> 00:37:39,533 Oh, I ate too much pizza. 761 00:37:39,558 --> 00:37:41,459 Second batch! 762 00:37:41,484 --> 00:37:42,704 Deck your halls, y'all! 763 00:37:42,738 --> 00:37:45,206 I always hated eggnog. Why is yours so good? 764 00:37:45,241 --> 00:37:46,875 Mine's mostly hooch. 765 00:37:46,909 --> 00:37:48,576 It's basically a bourbon milkshake. 766 00:37:48,611 --> 00:37:49,778 Cheers to that. 767 00:37:49,812 --> 00:37:52,881 Karev, that is definitely the saddest tree I've ever seen. 768 00:37:52,915 --> 00:37:55,732 - Tell Robbins. - No, uh, it's better than no tree. 769 00:37:55,757 --> 00:37:57,458 Alex was like, "why bother?" 770 00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:59,818 And I said, "you have to have a tree at Christmas." 771 00:38:00,022 --> 00:38:01,823 Otherwise, your soul is just curdled 772 00:38:01,857 --> 00:38:04,292 and you've given up on joy, 773 00:38:04,326 --> 00:38:05,794 so I got a tree. 774 00:38:05,828 --> 00:38:06,895 I started decorating it, 775 00:38:06,929 --> 00:38:11,499 and then some woman went into labor, so I gave up. 776 00:38:11,534 --> 00:38:13,624 "To Zola, from Sophia." 777 00:38:16,572 --> 00:38:18,540 Sophia keeps asking, 778 00:38:18,574 --> 00:38:22,010 "mommy, maybe at Christmas, we'll see Zola. 779 00:38:22,044 --> 00:38:23,578 Shouldn't we get her a present?" 780 00:38:23,612 --> 00:38:25,814 And I don't... I don't know what to say. 781 00:38:25,848 --> 00:38:27,515 I mean, I don't know if they're ever coming back. 782 00:38:27,550 --> 00:38:29,350 Hmm, I know the feeling. 783 00:38:29,385 --> 00:38:30,385 So, I caved. 784 00:38:30,419 --> 00:38:32,387 I got a gift, just in case. 785 00:38:32,421 --> 00:38:33,621 That's the spirit. 786 00:38:34,623 --> 00:38:36,357 Hey, Merry Christmas! 787 00:38:36,392 --> 00:38:38,827 - Merry Christmas! You came! - Yay! 788 00:38:38,861 --> 00:38:41,229 Oh, I invited Richard 'cause he seemed a little sad and lonely. 789 00:38:41,263 --> 00:38:42,597 - Is that okay? - Yeah. 790 00:38:42,631 --> 00:38:43,565 I brought a yule log! 791 00:38:43,599 --> 00:38:44,833 Yum! 792 00:38:44,867 --> 00:38:48,002 Oh, here. Come here. Here. 793 00:38:48,037 --> 00:38:49,070 Move the dip. 794 00:38:49,104 --> 00:38:50,071 Mm-hmm. 795 00:38:50,105 --> 00:38:52,040 - Hey. - Hey. 796 00:38:52,074 --> 00:38:54,676 How's Karev's Christmas-not-Christmas thing? 797 00:38:54,710 --> 00:38:55,777 Uh, it's okay. 798 00:38:55,802 --> 00:38:58,012 Karev scraped together some pizza. 799 00:38:59,148 --> 00:39:01,783 I miss you. I wish you were here. 800 00:39:01,817 --> 00:39:04,085 I'm sorry. I tried... 801 00:39:04,119 --> 00:39:05,133 Really? 802 00:39:05,158 --> 00:39:08,523 You've extended this "tour of duty" thing three times already. 803 00:39:08,557 --> 00:39:09,858 What does that make you... Colonel now? 804 00:39:09,892 --> 00:39:12,026 - Jackson... - April... 805 00:39:12,061 --> 00:39:13,595 - It's Christmas. - I know that. 806 00:39:13,629 --> 00:39:15,396 Don't you think I wish I could be there with you? 807 00:39:15,431 --> 00:39:17,632 You could, actually. You haven't been drafted. 808 00:39:17,666 --> 00:39:18,900 You should be here. 809 00:39:18,934 --> 00:39:21,603 - We're supposed to be a... - We're supposed to have a child. 810 00:39:21,637 --> 00:39:24,539 We were supposed to be celebrating Christmas together, the three of us, 811 00:39:24,573 --> 00:39:26,040 and every time I think about that, I just... 812 00:39:26,075 --> 00:39:28,443 Kepner, we got to pack up and bug out. 813 00:39:28,477 --> 00:39:30,750 - What's going on? - Um... 814 00:39:31,313 --> 00:39:33,815 No, it's fine. It's just some insurgents that have been... 815 00:39:33,849 --> 00:39:35,483 What is happening? 816 00:39:35,517 --> 00:39:37,719 - Um, I got to go! - April? Hold on, April?! 817 00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:39,087 A... 818 00:39:44,627 --> 00:39:46,728 He's not worth it. He's not good enough! 819 00:39:46,762 --> 00:39:48,630 If he can't make it with you through this, 820 00:39:48,664 --> 00:39:51,132 then he's not good enough for you! 821 00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:53,635 Finally! 822 00:39:53,669 --> 00:39:55,103 Where does it hurt?! Are you in pain?! 823 00:39:55,137 --> 00:39:58,172 Her son-of-a-bitch husband shows up, 824 00:39:58,207 --> 00:40:00,308 brings her that Christmas present, 825 00:40:00,342 --> 00:40:02,677 and told her that this was not what he signed up for, 826 00:40:02,711 --> 00:40:04,231 and walked out on her! 827 00:40:04,256 --> 00:40:06,690 Okay, okay, deep breaths. 828 00:40:06,715 --> 00:40:08,683 Okay. 829 00:40:08,717 --> 00:40:11,085 I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you something to help you relax. 830 00:40:12,218 --> 00:40:13,988 He's an ass, sweetie! 831 00:40:14,023 --> 00:40:15,890 Oh, yeah, he is an ass. 832 00:40:17,559 --> 00:40:20,662 Shh, deep breaths, okay? 833 00:40:20,696 --> 00:40:21,797 Deep breaths. 834 00:40:21,822 --> 00:40:23,431 You're okay. 835 00:40:25,301 --> 00:40:26,968 But he's right. 836 00:40:27,002 --> 00:40:29,070 He didn't sign up for this. 837 00:40:29,932 --> 00:40:32,066 Who would? 838 00:40:32,091 --> 00:40:36,245 I mean, I've been here six months or seven. 839 00:40:36,270 --> 00:40:38,672 I've lost count, and... 840 00:40:40,203 --> 00:40:42,104 And look at me. 841 00:40:42,651 --> 00:40:45,386 I'm disgusting! 842 00:40:45,421 --> 00:40:48,623 He's married to burnt toast! 843 00:40:50,190 --> 00:40:52,575 Who would want to be married to this? 844 00:40:54,730 --> 00:40:56,780 Who would love this? 845 00:40:57,032 --> 00:40:59,374 Anne, honey... 846 00:41:00,002 --> 00:41:03,871 If this had happened to him, would you have left him? 847 00:41:05,905 --> 00:41:07,705 Would you have loved him? 848 00:41:09,912 --> 00:41:12,847 He's not good enough for you! 849 00:41:12,881 --> 00:41:14,846 He's not right! 850 00:41:15,284 --> 00:41:17,752 This is the best Christmas gift you could've gotten, 851 00:41:17,786 --> 00:41:21,756 knowing that he is not the man for you. 852 00:41:21,790 --> 00:41:24,425 And you don't have to spend one more minute 853 00:41:24,460 --> 00:41:27,478 with someone who is less than you deserve! 854 00:41:28,139 --> 00:41:30,474 You get to start over. 855 00:41:30,624 --> 00:41:32,459 It's a gift. 856 00:41:32,484 --> 00:41:34,985 We're starting over. 857 00:41:35,010 --> 00:41:37,418 Like it's our first Christmas, okay? 858 00:41:40,155 --> 00:41:41,422 Right? 859 00:41:47,983 --> 00:41:49,784 You know what we need? 860 00:41:49,818 --> 00:41:52,353 We need a little holiday cheer up in here, right? 861 00:41:52,388 --> 00:41:54,352 Yeah. 862 00:41:54,707 --> 00:41:57,709 ♪ Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ♪ 863 00:41:57,734 --> 00:41:59,268 Oh, really? Really? 864 00:41:59,293 --> 00:42:00,594 Songs about roasting things? 865 00:42:02,264 --> 00:42:04,539 That was an unfortunate choice. 866 00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:05,633 Uh... 867 00:42:05,667 --> 00:42:07,602 ♪ Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer ♪ 868 00:42:07,636 --> 00:42:09,303 No. 869 00:42:09,338 --> 00:42:10,905 No noses. 870 00:42:10,939 --> 00:42:13,274 No noses and no fires. 871 00:42:13,563 --> 00:42:16,738 Okay, um, how about... 872 00:42:17,179 --> 00:42:19,047 "I'll be home for Christmas"? 873 00:42:22,625 --> 00:42:28,129 ♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪ 874 00:42:28,524 --> 00:42:33,185 ♪ you can plan on me ♪ 875 00:42:34,625 --> 00:42:37,660 ♪ please have some snow ♪ 876 00:42:37,685 --> 00:42:41,488 ♪ and mistletoe ♪ 877 00:42:41,513 --> 00:42:48,780 ♪ and presents under the tree ♪ 878 00:42:50,066 --> 00:42:58,006 ♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪ 879 00:42:58,353 --> 00:43:03,991 ♪ where the love light gleams ♪ 880 00:43:06,462 --> 00:43:11,299 ♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪ 881 00:43:14,369 --> 00:43:21,709 ♪ If only in my dreams ♪ 882 00:43:21,743 --> 00:43:22,810 I know you're not sleepy, 883 00:43:22,845 --> 00:43:25,357 but you have to close your eyes or else he won't come. 884 00:43:25,382 --> 00:43:27,116 Will he bring me some toys? 885 00:43:27,141 --> 00:43:28,908 If you go to sleep. 886 00:43:28,933 --> 00:43:30,902 Will he bring me a baby sister? 887 00:43:32,020 --> 00:43:34,522 Well, not tonight. 888 00:43:35,657 --> 00:43:38,893 ♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪ 889 00:43:40,529 --> 00:43:44,065 ♪ Where the love light gleams ♪ 890 00:43:44,099 --> 00:43:47,435 I wish Daddy were here. 891 00:43:48,337 --> 00:43:51,873 ♪ I'll be home ♪ 892 00:43:51,907 --> 00:43:54,848 Night-night, sweetie. Sleep tight. 893 00:43:57,346 --> 00:44:05,219 ♪ If only in my dreams ♪ 894 00:44:07,321 --> 00:44:08,989 I'm just not sure of anything anymore. 895 00:44:09,023 --> 00:44:11,091 I keep going over it round and round, 896 00:44:11,125 --> 00:44:13,226 over and over again. 897 00:44:13,854 --> 00:44:16,622 Like any other choice I make, might change things. 898 00:44:18,756 --> 00:44:21,257 But no. This is the right place for me to be. 899 00:44:21,282 --> 00:44:23,294 This is the right thing for me to do. 900 00:44:24,251 --> 00:44:26,086 I know that. I just didn't expect... 901 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,988 That it would hurt quite this much. 902 00:44:32,793 --> 00:44:35,631 Sweetie, don't go too far! 903 00:44:40,968 --> 00:44:42,602 - Mommy. - Meredith. 904 00:44:44,972 --> 00:44:46,606 You grew up. 905 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:47,974 I did. 906 00:44:48,008 --> 00:44:50,229 It's a shame. 907 00:44:50,775 --> 00:44:53,576 It's awful being a grown-up. 908 00:44:53,601 --> 00:44:55,401 But the carousel never stops turning. 909 00:44:55,426 --> 00:44:57,961 And I want more. 910 00:44:57,986 --> 00:45:00,421 Of this, of us, of... 911 00:45:02,256 --> 00:45:04,157 I want to have more. 912 00:45:04,191 --> 00:45:06,059 - Another baby? - Sure. 913 00:45:06,093 --> 00:45:08,061 Uh, seriously? 914 00:45:08,095 --> 00:45:12,265 Listen, I love you, and you love me, and... 915 00:45:12,299 --> 00:45:13,850 Whatever happens... 916 00:45:13,875 --> 00:45:15,001 I don't care. 917 00:45:15,035 --> 00:45:18,004 No more doctors, no more labs, 918 00:45:18,038 --> 00:45:19,962 and you and I, we have a lot of sex. 919 00:45:19,987 --> 00:45:23,023 Maybe we can make a baby, maybe not. 920 00:45:23,377 --> 00:45:26,246 Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe not, but this... 921 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,409 I am calling post-it... 922 00:45:28,434 --> 00:45:30,335 Zola and Bailey... 923 00:45:30,824 --> 00:45:32,759 And tumors on the walls... 924 00:45:32,784 --> 00:45:34,451 And ferry-boat scrub caps. 925 00:45:34,722 --> 00:45:36,656 You're everything. 926 00:45:36,690 --> 00:45:38,442 Meredith, I can't live without you. 927 00:45:39,293 --> 00:45:41,237 I don't want to live without you, 928 00:45:42,963 --> 00:45:47,000 and I'm gonna do everything in my power to prove it. 929 00:45:47,034 --> 00:45:49,035 You've never lost the love of your life. 930 00:45:49,069 --> 00:45:50,670 You've never cried over the body 931 00:45:50,704 --> 00:45:52,805 of the person you love most in this world. 932 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,087 You... 933 00:45:54,167 --> 00:45:57,036 You don't know how that messes a person up. 934 00:45:57,220 --> 00:45:59,312 You've never had to claw your way back from that. 935 00:46:00,299 --> 00:46:03,268 I can live without you, 936 00:46:03,293 --> 00:46:04,927 but I don't want to. 937 00:46:07,021 --> 00:46:09,547 I don't ever want to. 938 00:46:13,561 --> 00:46:16,329 The carousel never stops turning. 939 00:46:17,431 --> 00:46:18,798 You can't get off. 940 00:46:28,616 --> 00:46:30,952 _ 941 00:46:34,615 --> 00:46:37,217 Sir, I hear you saying that you have no answers, 942 00:46:37,251 --> 00:46:39,173 but I need you to have some damn answers! 943 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:40,760 That... 944 00:46:43,533 --> 00:46:45,000 Hey. 945 00:46:45,025 --> 00:46:46,136 Is everything okay? 946 00:46:46,161 --> 00:46:48,796 No, everything's not okay. 947 00:46:48,821 --> 00:46:50,788 She should never have gone. 948 00:46:50,813 --> 00:46:53,347 April should never have gone to a freakin' combat zone. 949 00:46:53,372 --> 00:46:54,906 I know. I know it's hard. 950 00:46:54,931 --> 00:46:56,432 It's not just hard. 951 00:46:56,457 --> 00:46:59,225 - It's... - Just... she lost a leg. 952 00:47:00,941 --> 00:47:03,276 You know, with everything that happened this past year 953 00:47:03,310 --> 00:47:05,245 with you and your baby, she... 954 00:47:05,846 --> 00:47:08,214 She lost a leg. 955 00:47:08,249 --> 00:47:12,118 And she's learning how to walk again, and you... 956 00:47:12,152 --> 00:47:15,321 You have to let her do that. 957 00:47:17,403 --> 00:47:18,804 Why? 958 00:47:18,829 --> 00:47:20,464 Why should I do that? 959 00:47:20,527 --> 00:47:22,695 Why does she get to go off and put herself in danger 960 00:47:22,730 --> 00:47:24,383 and just leave me here to... 961 00:47:26,500 --> 00:47:29,054 If she lost a leg, then I lost a leg, too. 962 00:47:29,670 --> 00:47:31,816 But guess what... I still get up every morning. 963 00:47:31,841 --> 00:47:33,275 I face every day. 964 00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:35,775 I don't get to jump on a plane and fly halfway across the damn world 965 00:47:35,809 --> 00:47:37,277 so that all that April has left of me 966 00:47:37,311 --> 00:47:40,480 is some crappy memory of me yelling at her from a picture on a phone! 967 00:47:40,514 --> 00:47:42,282 Wait, what happened? 968 00:47:44,318 --> 00:47:45,614 We were talking, 969 00:47:45,639 --> 00:47:49,009 and then there was gunfire, a lot of it, 970 00:47:49,034 --> 00:47:50,601 and the call got cut off. 971 00:47:50,626 --> 00:47:52,828 And I have not been able to get ahold of her since. 972 00:47:52,853 --> 00:47:55,488 I don't know... 973 00:47:55,513 --> 00:47:56,814 Where she is. 974 00:47:58,866 --> 00:48:00,949 I don't even know where she is. 975 00:48:07,374 --> 00:48:08,641 All I'm saying is, 976 00:48:08,676 --> 00:48:11,930 I just don't understand how you can know a man and love a man 977 00:48:11,955 --> 00:48:13,856 and not see eye-to-eye with him 978 00:48:13,881 --> 00:48:16,107 - on such a basic, fundamental thing. - Exactly. 979 00:48:16,132 --> 00:48:17,900 Richard wants to propose 980 00:48:17,925 --> 00:48:21,027 by drowning me in flowers 981 00:48:21,052 --> 00:48:23,130 and chocolate-covered rose petals. 982 00:48:23,157 --> 00:48:24,582 You'd think a man would be grateful 983 00:48:24,607 --> 00:48:27,694 for a woman who allows him to avoid that kind of nonsense. 984 00:48:27,728 --> 00:48:30,096 Or maybe it's just not about you. 985 00:48:30,988 --> 00:48:32,889 I beg your pardon? 986 00:48:32,914 --> 00:48:35,015 Nothing. Sorry, none of my business. 987 00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:37,975 Well, you seem to have made it your business, so elaborate. 988 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,167 Please. 989 00:48:39,707 --> 00:48:42,458 Maybe it just makes him feel good. 990 00:48:42,743 --> 00:48:46,546 Maybe it's easier just to accept a bunch of dumb roses 991 00:48:46,580 --> 00:48:49,649 than to ask a man to fundamentally change who he is 992 00:48:49,683 --> 00:48:52,452 or do what makes him feel good, when what makes him feel good 993 00:48:52,486 --> 00:48:54,722 is telling you how good you make him feel. 994 00:48:55,923 --> 00:48:58,983 Maybe by not letting him give you that, 995 00:48:59,008 --> 00:49:01,243 you're actually taking something away from him. 996 00:49:04,431 --> 00:49:06,016 Sorry. 997 00:49:06,062 --> 00:49:07,729 No, it's... 998 00:49:07,754 --> 00:49:09,621 You're protecting him. 999 00:49:09,646 --> 00:49:11,546 I understand. 1000 00:49:14,375 --> 00:49:16,042 Happy new year! 1001 00:49:16,076 --> 00:49:17,343 - How are we feeling... - Shh! 1002 00:49:18,679 --> 00:49:20,346 Oh. 1003 00:49:21,609 --> 00:49:24,077 Good. 1004 00:49:24,197 --> 00:49:26,422 Sorry, we were up all night, 1005 00:49:26,447 --> 00:49:28,915 and I... I know, I know that's bad, 1006 00:49:28,940 --> 00:49:31,435 but we wanted to watch the ball drop, 1007 00:49:31,460 --> 00:49:33,531 and then we started talking and we couldn't shut up. 1008 00:49:33,556 --> 00:49:34,999 So, I told her 1009 00:49:35,024 --> 00:49:37,592 that I would take the first torture shift today... 1010 00:49:37,617 --> 00:49:40,619 Just let her sleep. 1011 00:49:45,478 --> 00:49:48,074 I feel like I fell asleep 10 minutes ago. 1012 00:49:48,809 --> 00:49:52,996 Hey, did you know that J.J. Was a volunteer firefighter? 1013 00:49:55,906 --> 00:49:57,630 And then she gets burned at a... 1014 00:49:57,655 --> 00:50:00,852 At a tailgate party for a seahawks game, huh? 1015 00:50:01,937 --> 00:50:05,472 Oh, we sort of died laughing at the irony, 1016 00:50:05,726 --> 00:50:08,139 and then we cried about it. 1017 00:50:09,663 --> 00:50:11,258 Then we laughed again. 1018 00:50:16,024 --> 00:50:18,659 Um, I'm just gonna go grab something really quick. 1019 00:50:18,684 --> 00:50:19,943 Wait, stop. 1020 00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:21,941 What's going on? 1021 00:50:23,143 --> 00:50:24,410 What's wrong? 1022 00:50:25,102 --> 00:50:26,169 Is it J.J.?! 1023 00:50:26,471 --> 00:50:28,614 Wait, I know something's wrong. 1024 00:50:28,649 --> 00:50:31,384 - Anne, you have to lay back. - J.J.?! J.J.?! J.J.?! 1025 00:50:31,418 --> 00:50:32,785 - You have to lay back. - No, no, no, no, no! 1026 00:50:32,820 --> 00:50:34,320 You'll tear your skin. 1027 00:50:34,354 --> 00:50:36,404 No! No! 1028 00:50:36,429 --> 00:50:38,460 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 1029 00:50:38,485 --> 00:50:40,244 - She's gone. - Oh! 1030 00:50:42,095 --> 00:50:44,630 Oh, no, she can't be! 1031 00:50:44,665 --> 00:50:45,765 She can't! 1032 00:50:45,799 --> 00:50:48,373 I can't do this without her! 1033 00:50:48,398 --> 00:50:50,366 I can't do it alone! 1034 00:50:57,102 --> 00:51:00,137 I raised you to be an extraordinary human being, 1035 00:51:00,172 --> 00:51:02,506 so imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years 1036 00:51:02,541 --> 00:51:05,109 and discover that you're no more than ordinary! 1037 00:51:07,546 --> 00:51:10,014 What happened to you?! 1038 00:51:10,818 --> 00:51:12,280 You're ignoring me. 1039 00:51:12,305 --> 00:51:13,805 Um... trying to. 1040 00:51:13,830 --> 00:51:14,996 You shouldn't ignore me. 1041 00:51:15,021 --> 00:51:16,088 Why not? 1042 00:51:16,388 --> 00:51:19,087 Because I'm someone you need to get to know to love. 1043 00:51:20,292 --> 00:51:21,992 - Really? - Oh, yes. 1044 00:51:23,261 --> 00:51:24,562 So, if I know you, I'll love you. 1045 00:51:24,596 --> 00:51:26,397 Oh, yes. 1046 00:51:26,431 --> 00:51:29,266 You really like yourself, huh? 1047 00:51:29,301 --> 00:51:30,868 Just hiding my pain. 1048 00:51:34,072 --> 00:51:35,740 So, what's your story? 1049 00:51:36,875 --> 00:51:38,909 My mother tried to kill herself when I was a kid... 1050 00:51:41,413 --> 00:51:43,848 After the love of her life disappeared. 1051 00:51:46,585 --> 00:51:49,019 I never told anybody that before. 1052 00:51:54,292 --> 00:51:56,293 So, you think I'm broken? 1053 00:51:58,730 --> 00:52:00,464 Is there a reason for this? 1054 00:52:00,499 --> 00:52:03,300 Because if you can think of a reason, any reason at all, 1055 00:52:03,335 --> 00:52:09,039 why the universe is so screwed up and random and mean... 1056 00:52:16,014 --> 00:52:18,983 Now would be an amazingly good time to tell me 1057 00:52:19,017 --> 00:52:21,118 because I really need some answers. 1058 00:52:21,153 --> 00:52:22,920 I know. I know you do. Come here. 1059 00:52:25,490 --> 00:52:26,924 I don't... 1060 00:52:26,958 --> 00:52:29,627 I can't! I can't! 1061 00:52:29,661 --> 00:52:31,262 I don't... 1062 00:52:31,296 --> 00:52:33,130 I don't... 1063 00:52:33,165 --> 00:52:37,656 Slow, deep breaths, slow, deep breaths. 1064 00:52:43,442 --> 00:52:45,242 Here. Take this. 1065 00:52:45,277 --> 00:52:47,678 Slow down, slow down. 1066 00:52:49,681 --> 00:52:51,916 Just breathe in. Take a deep breath. Go. 1067 00:53:10,502 --> 00:53:12,736 You can say anything to me. 1068 00:53:14,339 --> 00:53:15,582 I want to marry you. 1069 00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:19,312 I want to have kids with you. 1070 00:53:19,337 --> 00:53:20,987 I want to build us a house. 1071 00:53:22,814 --> 00:53:25,516 I want to settle down and grow old with you. 1072 00:53:27,731 --> 00:53:29,996 I want to die when I'm 110 years old 1073 00:53:30,021 --> 00:53:31,355 in your arms. 1074 00:53:31,921 --> 00:53:34,959 I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. 1075 00:53:36,094 --> 00:53:38,123 I want a lifetime. 1076 00:53:42,501 --> 00:53:46,223 He's gone, and I know he's gone. 1077 00:53:46,404 --> 00:53:48,072 And the bed feels lonely. 1078 00:53:50,375 --> 00:53:52,910 It's like... I don't know how to sleep alone. 1079 00:54:06,057 --> 00:54:07,718 I miss you. 1080 00:54:16,434 --> 00:54:19,003 I believe that we can be extraordinary together 1081 00:54:19,037 --> 00:54:21,739 rather than ordinary apart, and I want to be... 1082 00:54:51,169 --> 00:54:54,572 Okay, now, go slow, okay? 1083 00:54:54,606 --> 00:54:57,908 Go slow, concentrate, okay? 1084 00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:06,960 - You ready? - Yeah. 1085 00:55:08,486 --> 00:55:09,954 Holy crap! 1086 00:55:09,988 --> 00:55:11,898 It's moving. 1087 00:55:11,923 --> 00:55:14,324 That's great. Great. 1088 00:55:16,494 --> 00:55:17,895 That's great! 1089 00:55:17,929 --> 00:55:19,778 - One more. - Yeah. 1090 00:55:21,061 --> 00:55:23,062 Yes, it's great! 1091 00:55:23,087 --> 00:55:26,189 That was the best first run of any patient I've ever had! 1092 00:55:26,214 --> 00:55:28,249 - You did it! - No, you did it. 1093 00:55:29,323 --> 00:55:31,190 I would never have done this without you. 1094 00:55:34,855 --> 00:55:36,725 Um, okay, I take it back. 1095 00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:38,384 I take it back. It was all me. 1096 00:55:38,409 --> 00:55:39,876 No, no, no. 1097 00:55:39,901 --> 00:55:43,179 It was you. It was you, and it was me, and 1098 00:55:43,506 --> 00:55:45,266 The reason that your brain 1099 00:55:45,291 --> 00:55:48,727 can tell your new leg what to do is, um... 1100 00:55:48,752 --> 00:55:51,120 It all started because of these... 1101 00:55:51,145 --> 00:55:54,180 These, uh, badass little sensors 1102 00:55:54,205 --> 00:55:57,429 Made by an amazing neurosurgeon who... 1103 00:55:59,738 --> 00:56:01,538 You're right. 1104 00:56:01,573 --> 00:56:04,599 We don't know why we meet the people that we meet, but... 1105 00:56:05,259 --> 00:56:07,362 I wouldn't be here without him. 1106 00:56:08,246 --> 00:56:10,739 He was a brilliant surgeon, and... 1107 00:56:11,349 --> 00:56:13,050 He was a good friend. 1108 00:56:13,084 --> 00:56:14,952 And, uh... 1109 00:56:15,377 --> 00:56:17,133 He would've loved this. 1110 00:56:17,158 --> 00:56:19,292 He would've... He would've loved it. 1111 00:56:21,177 --> 00:56:24,146 Okay, uh, anyway 1112 00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:25,717 You want to go again? 1113 00:56:25,742 --> 00:56:28,901 - Absolutely, yeah. - Okay. 1114 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:30,768 All right. 1115 00:56:32,270 --> 00:56:33,704 Hi, Laura. 1116 00:56:33,738 --> 00:56:36,874 I'm here to start your first dressing change, okay? 1117 00:56:36,908 --> 00:56:40,644 Now we're gonna debride the burns layer by layer. 1118 00:56:40,670 --> 00:56:42,697 That'll expose healthy tissue 1119 00:56:42,722 --> 00:56:44,322 in order to help new skin to grow, okay? 1120 00:56:44,347 --> 00:56:47,215 You're gonna want something to hold on to. 1121 00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:49,408 Bed railings work pretty well. 1122 00:56:49,433 --> 00:56:51,133 This is gonna hurt. 1123 00:56:51,158 --> 00:56:52,391 Who is that? 1124 00:56:52,416 --> 00:56:54,460 This is your neighbor, Anne. 1125 00:56:54,485 --> 00:56:56,048 Oh, and do yourself a favor... 1126 00:56:56,073 --> 00:56:57,900 Find something to bite down on. 1127 00:56:57,925 --> 00:56:59,225 Thank you, Anne. 1128 00:56:59,250 --> 00:57:00,918 I know the drill. Tell her. 1129 00:57:00,943 --> 00:57:02,844 Yeah, thank you, Anne. 1130 00:57:03,034 --> 00:57:05,035 I'm gonna get started now, okay? 1131 00:57:05,070 --> 00:57:06,203 Mm-hmm. 1132 00:57:09,808 --> 00:57:11,408 It's okay. 1133 00:57:11,443 --> 00:57:13,013 It's okay. 1134 00:57:14,963 --> 00:57:16,330 It's okay. 1135 00:57:19,150 --> 00:57:21,483 You're gonna be okay. 1136 00:57:24,105 --> 00:57:25,572 Hey. 1137 00:57:27,826 --> 00:57:30,961 Sorry, I should've called. They ordered us out really suddenly, 1138 00:57:30,995 --> 00:57:32,129 and I was hopping planes, 1139 00:57:32,163 --> 00:57:35,164 and then I thought maybe I'd surprise you, but I can... 1140 00:57:35,189 --> 00:57:37,287 See by the look on your face that... 1141 00:57:43,942 --> 00:57:47,053 Uh, Amelia, hey, got time for a cup of coffee? 1142 00:57:47,078 --> 00:57:48,766 Ah, sorry, busy day. 1143 00:57:48,791 --> 00:57:49,975 Yeah. 1144 00:57:50,248 --> 00:57:53,334 Uh, haven't seen you at a meeting in a while. 1145 00:57:53,997 --> 00:57:55,297 A long while. 1146 00:57:55,322 --> 00:57:57,272 Like I said, really busy. 1147 00:57:57,510 --> 00:57:59,975 Edwards mentioned something about you... 1148 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,267 Really? 1149 00:58:01,292 --> 00:58:03,313 What else is Edwards saying? 1150 00:58:05,096 --> 00:58:06,363 I'm not accusing you. 1151 00:58:06,664 --> 00:58:08,117 I'm checking in. 1152 00:58:08,142 --> 00:58:09,525 You know, I get to check in. 1153 00:58:09,550 --> 00:58:10,917 That's the kind of friends we are. 1154 00:58:10,942 --> 00:58:12,161 I do not have time for coffee. 1155 00:58:12,186 --> 00:58:13,954 I do not have time for meetings. 1156 00:58:13,979 --> 00:58:17,115 I don't... my job is not to make you feel better about me. 1157 00:58:17,140 --> 00:58:18,807 My job is to make my patients get better. 1158 00:58:18,832 --> 00:58:20,202 Do you know what can happen 1159 00:58:20,227 --> 00:58:22,228 in the hour or two I would be wasting with you? 1160 00:58:22,253 --> 00:58:23,690 An hour or two matters! 1161 00:58:23,715 --> 00:58:24,848 They matter to me. 1162 00:58:24,883 --> 00:58:27,305 They should matter to you. They matter to my patients. 1163 00:58:27,330 --> 00:58:30,366 If I leave and my patient dies, it's not me who will suffer, 1164 00:58:30,391 --> 00:58:33,688 it is his mother, his sisters, his friends, his wife, 1165 00:58:33,713 --> 00:58:35,547 and they will hate me. 1166 00:58:35,860 --> 00:58:37,802 With everything inside them, 1167 00:58:37,827 --> 00:58:40,495 they will hate me and you and everyone here 1168 00:58:40,524 --> 00:58:42,758 because they won't understand why he is gone, 1169 00:58:42,793 --> 00:58:44,026 why people always leave, 1170 00:58:44,060 --> 00:58:47,163 Why everyone you give a crap about walks away 1171 00:58:47,197 --> 00:58:50,399 or is ripped from your world without warning, without reason, 1172 00:58:50,434 --> 00:58:52,835 in convenience stores and plane crashes 1173 00:58:52,869 --> 00:58:55,237 and podunk hospitals with podunk doctors 1174 00:58:55,272 --> 00:58:57,440 who don't do what they are supposed to do, 1175 00:58:57,474 --> 00:58:59,442 which is save people! 1176 00:59:42,328 --> 00:59:43,428 Hey. 1177 00:59:48,334 --> 00:59:50,435 It's good to see you. 1178 00:59:50,469 --> 00:59:52,037 Hey. 1179 00:59:53,048 --> 00:59:54,882 Feels like I've been away forever, 1180 00:59:54,907 --> 00:59:56,207 but I see nothing's changed, 1181 00:59:56,232 --> 01:00:00,035 except they chopped down that old tree. 1182 01:00:01,398 --> 01:00:03,448 Yeah. 1183 01:00:07,279 --> 01:00:08,546 Okay, I'll... 1184 01:00:10,579 --> 01:00:12,491 I'll see you around. 1185 01:00:13,215 --> 01:00:16,350 I have a baggie full of black-market oxy in my coat pocket, 1186 01:00:16,384 --> 01:00:18,819 and I'm trying to decide whether or not to take it. 1187 01:00:29,231 --> 01:00:32,032 I've got the dead-Derek thing completely managed. 1188 01:00:32,067 --> 01:00:34,535 I know people were worried. 1189 01:00:34,569 --> 01:00:36,504 Since he died, everybody's been looking at me, 1190 01:00:36,538 --> 01:00:38,639 waiting for me to fall apart or freak out 1191 01:00:38,673 --> 01:00:42,643 or just become a mess. 1192 01:00:42,677 --> 01:00:45,646 Like some bomb everyone thinks is supposed to go off. 1193 01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:49,683 My mother was calling three, four times a day. 1194 01:00:49,718 --> 01:00:52,106 Addison was calling... Everyone. 1195 01:00:53,121 --> 01:00:54,608 It makes sense. 1196 01:00:55,223 --> 01:00:56,801 It's natural. 1197 01:00:58,656 --> 01:01:01,156 Every man I've ever loved... 1198 01:01:02,097 --> 01:01:04,532 Has died. 1199 01:01:04,566 --> 01:01:06,901 Including my baby. 1200 01:01:06,935 --> 01:01:09,427 Thank you, universe. 1201 01:01:10,138 --> 01:01:11,812 So, I should be, like... 1202 01:01:12,541 --> 01:01:15,910 Greek tragedy, turned to stone, bat-crap crazy, but I'm good. 1203 01:01:15,944 --> 01:01:18,045 I got this. I am fine. 1204 01:01:18,079 --> 01:01:20,047 I'm telling you, I'm amazing. 1205 01:01:20,081 --> 01:01:22,082 I am saving lives left and right. 1206 01:01:22,117 --> 01:01:24,885 I am putting butts in the seats in that O.R. gallery. 1207 01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:28,055 I mean, people are fighting to hear me lecture. 1208 01:01:28,089 --> 01:01:31,025 I am entertaining... Joke, joke, joke! 1209 01:01:31,059 --> 01:01:33,093 I'm funny! I'm fun! 1210 01:01:33,128 --> 01:01:36,530 I'm a party! I'm doing... I'm great! 1211 01:01:40,669 --> 01:01:43,237 I'm handling the dead-Derek thing really well. 1212 01:01:43,271 --> 01:01:45,806 Okay. 1213 01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:49,043 Except today, I yelled at Richard... 1214 01:01:49,664 --> 01:01:52,250 Who was only trying to invite me for coffee, 1215 01:01:54,015 --> 01:01:57,536 and then I went and scored oxy from this junkie doctor. 1216 01:01:58,286 --> 01:02:00,011 But you haven't taken any? 1217 01:02:01,122 --> 01:02:02,510 Not yet. 1218 01:02:05,994 --> 01:02:07,494 But I might. 1219 01:02:08,097 --> 01:02:10,197 That's the thing. 1220 01:02:11,266 --> 01:02:13,408 I really actually might. 1221 01:02:16,605 --> 01:02:22,610 I have been sober for 1,321 days, Owen. 1222 01:02:23,011 --> 01:02:27,114 I was fine. It was managed. 1223 01:02:30,452 --> 01:02:31,919 But I might. 1224 01:02:34,177 --> 01:02:37,173 All this stuff you're... managing... 1225 01:02:39,427 --> 01:02:41,862 You're not supposed to be managing it. 1226 01:02:42,330 --> 01:02:45,614 You're supposed to be feeling it... grief, loss, pain. 1227 01:02:45,639 --> 01:02:47,741 - It is normal. - It's not normal. 1228 01:02:47,766 --> 01:02:48,801 It is. 1229 01:02:48,826 --> 01:02:50,103 It is normal. 1230 01:02:50,128 --> 01:02:51,695 It's not normal to you 'cause you've never done it. 1231 01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:54,050 Y... instead of feeling it, feeling the grief and the pain, 1232 01:02:54,075 --> 01:02:56,377 you've shoved it all down and you do drugs instead. 1233 01:02:56,411 --> 01:02:59,013 Instead of moving through the pain, you run from it. 1234 01:02:59,047 --> 01:03:00,681 You... 1235 01:03:07,255 --> 01:03:10,391 Instead of dealing with being hurt and alone 1236 01:03:10,425 --> 01:03:13,060 and afraid that this horrible, empty feeling is all there is, 1237 01:03:13,094 --> 01:03:14,628 I run from it. 1238 01:03:18,066 --> 01:03:21,835 I run off, and I sign up for another tour of active duty. 1239 01:03:21,870 --> 01:03:24,238 We do these things. 1240 01:03:24,272 --> 01:03:27,207 We run off, and we... we medicate. 1241 01:03:27,242 --> 01:03:31,145 We do whatever it takes to cover it up and dull the sensation, 1242 01:03:31,179 --> 01:03:32,664 but it's not normal. 1243 01:03:32,689 --> 01:03:35,883 We're supposed to feel. We're supposed to... 1244 01:03:35,917 --> 01:03:37,017 Love... 1245 01:03:37,052 --> 01:03:39,253 And hate... And hurt... 1246 01:03:39,287 --> 01:03:43,068 And grieve and break and... 1247 01:03:43,485 --> 01:03:45,819 Be destroyed and... 1248 01:03:45,844 --> 01:03:47,912 Rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again. 1249 01:03:47,937 --> 01:03:49,062 That is human. 1250 01:03:49,087 --> 01:03:51,989 That is humanity. That's... that's... 1251 01:03:53,565 --> 01:03:56,091 That's being alive. That's the point. 1252 01:03:56,137 --> 01:03:59,492 That's the entire point. Don't... don't avoid it. 1253 01:04:00,950 --> 01:04:02,092 Don't... 1254 01:04:03,454 --> 01:04:04,852 Extinguish it. 1255 01:04:13,737 --> 01:04:15,705 Derek died. 1256 01:04:19,838 --> 01:04:21,105 He died. 1257 01:04:24,029 --> 01:04:25,199 I don't want to feel it. 1258 01:04:25,233 --> 01:04:27,716 I I don't think I can. 1259 01:04:27,741 --> 01:04:29,142 I don't think I even want to... 1260 01:04:30,860 --> 01:04:32,415 I can't. I can't. 1261 01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:34,117 - I can't do this. I can't. - You have to. If you don't... 1262 01:04:34,142 --> 01:04:36,710 - No, I can't. Shh, I can't do this! - You ha... you have to. 1263 01:04:36,745 --> 01:04:39,713 If you don't, that bag of oxy's not gonna be your last. 1264 01:05:16,284 --> 01:05:18,118 You're gonna be okay. 1265 01:05:18,153 --> 01:05:20,154 You're gonna survive this, okay? 1266 01:05:20,188 --> 01:05:22,489 Everybody does. 1267 01:05:28,163 --> 01:05:30,864 It's perfectly normal. It's boring, even. 1268 01:05:33,509 --> 01:05:36,845 It's so normal. 1269 01:05:46,490 --> 01:05:48,446 Okay, Zo-zo, here's your snack... 1270 01:05:48,471 --> 01:05:49,905 Cheese, bananas, 1271 01:05:49,930 --> 01:05:51,931 and a little... Damn it. 1272 01:05:51,956 --> 01:05:54,169 It doesn't matter if I'm hurting, does it? 1273 01:05:54,194 --> 01:05:56,696 It doesn't matter if I'm alone. Where do I sign? 1274 01:05:56,721 --> 01:05:59,023 Ms. Grey, it's important you fully understand, 1275 01:05:59,048 --> 01:06:00,211 by signing these, 1276 01:06:00,236 --> 01:06:02,571 you sign away all rights to your daughter, 1277 01:06:02,596 --> 01:06:04,135 now and in the future. 1278 01:06:04,619 --> 01:06:06,429 And I'm all alone. 1279 01:06:06,568 --> 01:06:09,537 Now I have to raise my daughter alone. 1280 01:06:11,390 --> 01:06:13,707 How am I expected to do that? 1281 01:06:15,777 --> 01:06:17,307 Mom... 1282 01:06:17,910 --> 01:06:19,745 I understand. 1283 01:06:19,770 --> 01:06:21,397 It's okay if you need more time. 1284 01:06:21,422 --> 01:06:23,202 More time? More time? 1285 01:06:23,227 --> 01:06:24,748 I needed more time with him, 1286 01:06:24,773 --> 01:06:27,174 but it just keeps going forward faster and faster, 1287 01:06:27,199 --> 01:06:28,966 and there is no more time. 1288 01:06:28,991 --> 01:06:30,858 You can't go back. You can't press "pause." 1289 01:06:30,883 --> 01:06:32,694 The carousel never stops turning. It... 1290 01:06:35,477 --> 01:06:37,845 I don't need any more time. 1291 01:06:37,870 --> 01:06:39,209 Where do I sign? 1292 01:06:39,234 --> 01:06:41,302 Damn it. 1293 01:06:43,271 --> 01:06:47,433 Actually, you know, Zo, I think maybe we'll take that, huh? 1294 01:06:47,458 --> 01:06:49,092 We'll put it in a baggie, and we'll... 1295 01:06:49,117 --> 01:06:50,617 Agh, agh, agh, agh! 1296 01:06:50,642 --> 01:06:52,376 Mommy! 1297 01:06:52,747 --> 01:06:55,434 It's okay, Zola. It's okay. 1298 01:06:55,459 --> 01:06:57,793 You're bleeding. There's blood! 1299 01:06:58,145 --> 01:07:00,630 Blood. It's just blood. 1300 01:07:01,095 --> 01:07:03,563 Mommy, should I call 911? 1301 01:07:03,588 --> 01:07:04,854 Not yet. 1302 01:07:04,899 --> 01:07:06,032 Wait. 1303 01:07:06,223 --> 01:07:08,039 - Yes. Call. - Meredith... 1304 01:07:08,064 --> 01:07:10,799 Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. 1305 01:07:14,662 --> 01:07:16,836 911... what's your emergency? 1306 01:07:16,861 --> 01:07:18,529 My mommy tried to kill herself. 1307 01:07:18,554 --> 01:07:20,045 My mommy needs help. 1308 01:07:36,272 --> 01:07:38,893 Are you the smart girl who knew how to call 911? 1309 01:07:38,918 --> 01:07:41,145 You might've saved your mother's life. 1310 01:07:41,827 --> 01:07:44,529 Dr. Grey, we're just about ready to start. 1311 01:07:45,501 --> 01:07:47,578 My kids? Where are my kids? 1312 01:07:47,603 --> 01:07:49,065 Stop it! 1313 01:07:49,090 --> 01:07:51,120 She shouldn't be in here. No, wait. 1314 01:07:51,145 --> 01:07:52,612 Don't touch me! 1315 01:07:52,637 --> 01:07:53,803 Derek! 1316 01:07:53,828 --> 01:07:54,988 Derek! 1317 01:07:56,107 --> 01:07:57,707 Derek! 1318 01:07:57,950 --> 01:08:00,084 I don't want you to be alone. 1319 01:08:01,153 --> 01:08:04,956 If anything should happen to me, I don't want it to... 1320 01:08:04,990 --> 01:08:07,136 Just be you. 1321 01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:11,069 Well, we would make pretty babies. 1322 01:08:11,488 --> 01:08:12,997 So, you're thinking about it, then? 1323 01:08:13,031 --> 01:08:15,132 Oh, I'm thinking about it. 1324 01:08:16,168 --> 01:08:17,556 Wait. 1325 01:08:20,041 --> 01:08:24,077 Dr. Grey? Dr. Grey? 1326 01:08:24,377 --> 01:08:26,144 Your husband is here. 1327 01:08:29,450 --> 01:08:31,284 Hey. 1328 01:08:33,112 --> 01:08:35,062 Apparently, I'm your emergency contact. 1329 01:08:38,993 --> 01:08:41,294 I had a baby. 1330 01:08:41,329 --> 01:08:42,699 I know. 1331 01:08:44,499 --> 01:08:46,066 Derek is dead. 1332 01:08:47,146 --> 01:08:49,147 I know. 1333 01:08:53,174 --> 01:08:55,046 Derek? 1334 01:08:59,967 --> 01:09:01,835 Derek? 1335 01:09:04,485 --> 01:09:06,268 If there's a crisis... 1336 01:09:07,055 --> 01:09:08,768 You don't freeze. 1337 01:09:09,357 --> 01:09:11,324 You move forward. 1338 01:09:12,623 --> 01:09:14,834 You get the rest of us to move forward. 1339 01:09:16,036 --> 01:09:18,371 Because you've seen worse. 1340 01:09:18,405 --> 01:09:20,907 You've survived worse. 1341 01:09:20,941 --> 01:09:22,954 It's okay. 1342 01:09:26,213 --> 01:09:27,547 You go. 1343 01:09:28,459 --> 01:09:31,799 And you know we'll survive, too. 1344 01:09:51,138 --> 01:09:53,039 Hey. 1345 01:09:53,073 --> 01:09:54,607 Hey. 1346 01:09:55,776 --> 01:09:57,443 Okay, sweetie. 1347 01:09:57,478 --> 01:09:58,978 Okay. 1348 01:09:59,013 --> 01:10:01,147 Hey, hey. 1349 01:10:01,181 --> 01:10:02,448 It's okay. 1350 01:10:02,483 --> 01:10:04,283 It's all right. 1351 01:10:04,318 --> 01:10:06,653 Shh. 1352 01:10:06,687 --> 01:10:09,622 It's okay. 1353 01:10:17,197 --> 01:10:19,656 Baby's name is Ellis. Did you see her? 1354 01:10:19,681 --> 01:10:21,467 She's beautiful. 1355 01:10:21,502 --> 01:10:22,635 Bet she looks just like you. 1356 01:10:25,057 --> 01:10:27,125 I didn't think I could do it. 1357 01:10:27,441 --> 01:10:28,641 Part of me thought, 1358 01:10:28,676 --> 01:10:31,511 "what if I have this baby and just die?" 1359 01:10:32,603 --> 01:10:35,615 And then she arrived, and I saw her face, 1360 01:10:35,649 --> 01:10:37,750 and I saw him in her. 1361 01:10:40,654 --> 01:10:42,443 She's beautiful. 1362 01:10:51,738 --> 01:10:53,666 _ 1363 01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:02,108 Happy Valentine's day. 1364 01:11:02,142 --> 01:11:04,143 Happy everybody's day! 1365 01:11:05,546 --> 01:11:09,382 Oh, my child is with his dad in Disney World. 1366 01:11:09,416 --> 01:11:12,885 He's in the happiest place on earth. 1367 01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:15,354 I'm with you... 1368 01:11:15,389 --> 01:11:17,356 Naked, in this house. 1369 01:11:17,391 --> 01:11:19,559 That's a whole different kind of happy place. 1370 01:11:19,593 --> 01:11:22,361 Now everybody's happy! 1371 01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:27,800 Well, then, this is a very good time... 1372 01:11:27,835 --> 01:11:29,469 To give you a present. 1373 01:11:29,503 --> 01:11:31,637 Ben! 1374 01:11:31,672 --> 01:11:33,639 Is this the plane tickets to Paris? 1375 01:11:33,674 --> 01:11:36,375 Oh, 'cause if this is the plane tickets to Paris... 1376 01:11:38,378 --> 01:11:39,746 It's my living will. 1377 01:11:41,281 --> 01:11:43,583 It gives you full permission to pull my plug 1378 01:11:43,617 --> 01:11:45,188 whenever you see fit. 1379 01:11:45,213 --> 01:11:48,858 No extraordinary measures, witnessed and... 1380 01:11:49,187 --> 01:11:50,523 Notarized. 1381 01:11:57,796 --> 01:11:58,898 Miranda? 1382 01:11:58,932 --> 01:12:00,900 So, um... 1383 01:12:00,934 --> 01:12:02,526 Before... 1384 01:12:02,999 --> 01:12:05,609 You wanted to be kept alive. 1385 01:12:05,634 --> 01:12:09,405 Before you wanted extraordinary measures 1386 01:12:09,430 --> 01:12:12,432 because you had this stupid idea 1387 01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:15,350 that you were gonna be a miracle man 1388 01:12:15,375 --> 01:12:18,289 and wake up and come back to me, but now you... 1389 01:12:18,854 --> 01:12:21,021 Signed the papers? 1390 01:12:21,455 --> 01:12:22,789 Well... 1391 01:12:22,823 --> 01:12:24,690 Yeah. 1392 01:12:24,725 --> 01:12:27,627 I mean, that's what you wanted. 1393 01:12:27,661 --> 01:12:29,729 We've been going 'round and 'round about it 1394 01:12:29,763 --> 01:12:32,031 for months, and, well, I just got tired of arguing, 1395 01:12:32,065 --> 01:12:34,901 so I decided to go ahead and... 1396 01:12:34,935 --> 01:12:36,536 Sign the papers. 1397 01:12:36,570 --> 01:12:38,538 Miranda? 1398 01:12:38,572 --> 01:12:42,441 Well, this was the meanest thing you've ever done. 1399 01:12:42,476 --> 01:12:43,476 What? 1400 01:12:43,510 --> 01:12:47,113 You no longer love me enough to hope for a miracle? 1401 01:12:47,147 --> 01:12:48,714 Oh, are you kidding me? 1402 01:12:50,751 --> 01:12:53,119 From the beginning, you were shouting, 1403 01:12:53,153 --> 01:12:54,320 "unplug me! Unplug me!" 1404 01:12:54,354 --> 01:12:56,422 Yeah, but you weren't supposed to do it. 1405 01:12:56,456 --> 01:12:59,125 I mean, you were, but you weren't supposed to want to. 1406 01:12:59,159 --> 01:13:00,259 - Mir... - Now you want to? 1407 01:13:00,294 --> 01:13:03,396 Miranda, why are you being so... So crazy about this?! 1408 01:13:03,430 --> 01:13:04,497 What's going on? 1409 01:13:04,531 --> 01:13:08,467 Hey, hey, what is going on? 1410 01:13:08,502 --> 01:13:10,303 I love you too much! 1411 01:13:10,337 --> 01:13:11,904 It's too much. 1412 01:13:13,941 --> 01:13:17,768 Okay, my first husband. Okay, if he left... 1413 01:13:18,545 --> 01:13:21,647 A piece of me always knew that I would be okay, 1414 01:13:21,682 --> 01:13:25,785 and when he did leave, I was, but you... 1415 01:13:25,819 --> 01:13:30,071 Ever since Derek died... 1416 01:13:31,892 --> 01:13:34,343 I sit up in the middle of the night, 1417 01:13:34,368 --> 01:13:36,302 gasping for air, terrified. 1418 01:13:36,327 --> 01:13:38,173 I've been having these dreams 1419 01:13:38,198 --> 01:13:39,699 that something happened to you. 1420 01:13:39,733 --> 01:13:42,176 So, if something happened... 1421 01:13:42,736 --> 01:13:44,971 I love you too much. 1422 01:13:45,839 --> 01:13:50,109 Like, you are a piece of me. 1423 01:13:50,143 --> 01:13:51,801 I love you. 1424 01:13:52,145 --> 01:13:54,013 So... 1425 01:13:54,815 --> 01:13:57,516 I need a plan. 1426 01:13:57,551 --> 01:13:59,518 I need rules. 1427 01:13:59,553 --> 01:14:01,988 I need some order, 1428 01:14:02,022 --> 01:14:07,040 and I had just gotten used to your dumb miracle-man idea, 1429 01:14:07,065 --> 01:14:09,450 and now you're telling me you want me to pull the plug, 1430 01:14:09,475 --> 01:14:11,029 and I can't deal with that. 1431 01:14:11,054 --> 01:14:15,037 I... mm, just order and, uh, some rules 1432 01:14:15,062 --> 01:14:18,765 and a plan and some order in the middle of this, 1433 01:14:18,790 --> 01:14:22,411 'cause if I have to think about what could happen, 1434 01:14:22,567 --> 01:14:24,668 it's too much. 1435 01:14:24,693 --> 01:14:27,328 I promise... I promise... 1436 01:14:27,353 --> 01:14:29,387 That I will let you... 1437 01:14:29,412 --> 01:14:31,480 Die first. 1438 01:14:36,547 --> 01:14:37,607 That... 1439 01:14:38,676 --> 01:14:40,944 Is so wrong! 1440 01:14:42,867 --> 01:14:46,069 Hey, I love you too much, too. 1441 01:15:01,560 --> 01:15:03,461 Here, let's... 1442 01:15:03,486 --> 01:15:06,388 Not think about this anymore, all right? 1443 01:15:08,238 --> 01:15:10,005 We can't plan. 1444 01:15:10,219 --> 01:15:11,953 We don't know. 1445 01:15:12,143 --> 01:15:14,845 So let's ignore it and... 1446 01:15:16,481 --> 01:15:20,814 Just stay here in our bubble, all right? 1447 01:15:20,904 --> 01:15:23,061 Here, together. 1448 01:15:28,422 --> 01:15:31,357 In the happiest place on earth. 1449 01:15:31,382 --> 01:15:34,905 In the happiest place on earth. 1450 01:15:46,858 --> 01:15:49,055 Richard Webber! 1451 01:15:51,161 --> 01:15:52,393 Catherine? 1452 01:15:52,418 --> 01:15:54,550 I'm mad at you! 1453 01:15:54,704 --> 01:15:57,672 I'm doing something I swore I never would. 1454 01:15:57,758 --> 01:16:00,869 I'm asking a question when I don't know the answer 1455 01:16:00,904 --> 01:16:02,621 - because you... - What's going on? 1456 01:16:02,646 --> 01:16:03,839 Shh! 1457 01:16:03,873 --> 01:16:07,309 Because you're worth me standing here like a fool, 1458 01:16:07,343 --> 01:16:10,179 announcing how I feel... 1459 01:16:10,571 --> 01:16:12,548 In front of the entire hospital! 1460 01:16:16,219 --> 01:16:18,484 I love you, Richard Webber! 1461 01:16:19,722 --> 01:16:21,924 I love you. 1462 01:16:22,992 --> 01:16:27,914 And I would very much like for you to be my husband. 1463 01:16:28,998 --> 01:16:32,668 That is, of course, if you would like it, too. 1464 01:16:51,621 --> 01:16:53,155 Well, about damn time. 1465 01:17:32,378 --> 01:17:33,689 Come on, Zo, 1466 01:17:33,714 --> 01:17:36,683 let's get Bailey and your little sister settled in. 1467 01:19:38,354 --> 01:19:39,588 Now, wait, hang on. 1468 01:19:39,622 --> 01:19:41,723 Alex hosted a Christmas party? 1469 01:19:41,758 --> 01:19:42,824 Mm. 1470 01:19:42,859 --> 01:19:44,826 Well, "hosted" is a bit of an exaggeration, right? 1471 01:19:44,861 --> 01:19:46,395 Whatever. There was a tree. 1472 01:19:46,429 --> 01:19:49,164 Yeah, there was a sad, sad tree, God. 1473 01:19:49,198 --> 01:19:51,600 I have to believe there's a way. 1474 01:19:51,634 --> 01:19:54,036 There has to be a way to step off the carousel, 1475 01:19:54,070 --> 01:19:56,538 to start again, to start fresh... 1476 01:20:32,775 --> 01:20:35,410 There has to be a way to leave all my ghosts behind. 1477 01:20:46,289 --> 01:20:47,811 I'll see you around. 1478 01:20:49,258 --> 01:20:53,061 You're anything but ordinary, Meredith. 1479 01:20:56,532 --> 01:20:58,133 It's a choice. 1480 01:20:58,167 --> 01:21:00,435 It's a choice I'm making. 1481 01:21:00,470 --> 01:21:02,518 To move forward. 1482 01:21:03,439 --> 01:21:05,026 To move past this. 1483 01:21:05,852 --> 01:21:07,019 I can do that. 1484 01:21:07,343 --> 01:21:09,071 I can do that. 1485 01:21:09,946 --> 01:21:11,313 You ready for this? 1486 01:21:12,815 --> 01:21:14,750 I am. 1487 01:21:14,784 --> 01:21:16,318 10 blade. 1488 01:21:19,355 --> 01:21:21,356 All I have to do... 1489 01:21:21,391 --> 01:21:23,255 Is begin. 1490 01:21:23,622 --> 01:21:27,984 Sync and corrections by Albanda www.Addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 103446