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Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

I've never seen anyone put
their IQ on a CV before.

How many of these have you had?

Nine. Four in New York,
four here, and a Skype.

Why are you here, then?

Well, it's not a very
political answer, but...

I think mediocrity is too well-hidden

by parents who hire private tutors.

I am here on my own.

I want to be able to
explain myself clearly,

um, and have people be
receptive to my ideas.

Is that how you get your validation?

People listening to you?

As opposed to, uh...?

Every successful business

is full of people who've spent money

nurturing unremarkable talent.

Why did you read Geography?

Geography had the least amount
of applicants the year before.

You know, it's a marginal
game about marginal gains.

Nothing wrong with the back door.

I played third fiddle to two
figures in my mother's life,

Jesus Christ and Margaret Thatcher.

And where do you stand on them?

One's the reason we're all here,
and the other's a carpenter.

I think this is the closest
thing to a meritocracy there is.

And I only ever want to be judged

on the strength of my abilities.

And paid for it.

I guess.

I didn't realize that we recruited

from SUNY Binghamton.

It's a nontarget.

Can you tell us a joke?

Uh, ye... yeah.

Uh, it's a bit for
work, um, or whatever.

You know how many
mountains I'd have to move

to get you to London for good?

You don't look sure
how to navigate that.

Would this year's graduate
class please assemble

in the second-floor auditorium
for your week-three induction.

You ready to be indoctrinated?

See you down there.

Sure I can't get you anything?

Uh, yeah, Robert,

I've been meaning to ask, actually.

Um, did someone very close to you die?

It's a very dark suit.

I'm sorry for your loss,
but have you left the, uh,

label on your sleeve there as well? Wow!

Yeah, it's new.

Yeah, you look like
regional nightclub security.

Stag do security.

Actually, let me just...

- Oh!
- Let me just do that for you,

before you embarrass yourself
in front of your peers.

You see, what you've done there
is actually erect a billboard

- to how gauche you are.
- Yeah, nice one.

Uh, Robert wears Ted
Baker, ladies and gentlemen!

- Whoo!
- Just so you know!

- I think you look great.
- Thanks.

The Undertaker, Attitude Era!

Doors opening.

Hi.

Um, I think we met at the drinks?

I don't think that was me.

Okay.

It's cool. Free bar.

I'm Yasmin from FX sales.

I think we work on the same floor.

Harper, CPS team.

He works on my team. He's a whole snacc.

If you're into that
kinda thing, I guess.

Welcome, graduates.

Young people are our capital.

Graduates are our capital.

And while it's my pleasure
to congratulate you

on this placement,

the work to stay here starts now.

Which senior vouches for you,

the impression that you make on clients,

will all be evaluated.

In six months' time, on RIF day...

That's Reduction in Force...
You'll be standing in this room,

telling all of us...

why you should be hired
permanently to your desk.

Pierpoint is the world's

preeminent financial
services institution.

We expect you to behave
like you have a stake in it.

Act like an owner. Enrich
your clients, enrich us,

enrich yourselves.

So, look at the guy or gal next to you.

Really look. Do you think
you're better than them?

Maybe you are.

But half of you won't
be here in six months.

Just make yourselves indispensable.

Extra dirty chai with a scoop of whey.

Skinny latte.

...whatever he tells you to do.

Is there anything you want looking at?

We were on his catamaran,

and then the guide caught some grouper

and fried it on the side of the boat.

Yeah, it was beautiful.

Hey, ask Rishi for the level
of one year, one year, euro swap

in 500k DV01.

They don't call me promiscuous...

- Rishi.
- Today, please.

Rishi?

- Can you send...
- Relax.

It's not an auction house.

I've just sent out my runs.
They're on your Bloomie.

You can sit down now.

I was talking to Felim at Fenmarsh.

He's impressed with that US
tail risk work you did for him.

He sent me an email to say thanks.

Sorry, I didn't want to clog your inbox.

Don't apologize. Just remember
to talk your book here,

or people will miss it.

We want to get you printing
business as soon as possible.

Oh, Harper. Harper.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Sorry, just catch my breath.

- Sure.
- Cycled in.

- Hmm.
- Uh...

Yes, uh, I still don't have
your university transcript.

I'm really sorry. I will get on it.

Hmm. You said that last week.

Oh, Harper Stern, you're an
international candidate, right?

I'm still missing your transcript.

I'm still waiting on my
college to send a copy.

They are notoriously slow.

We're moving out of that gray area now,

where it's becoming a
bit of a problem for us,

and therefore a problem for you.

Sorry. You may continue your quest.

- Ah.
- For the loo.

Thank you.

- Harper.
- Hey.

Have you been home?

You're just, like, never in your room,

and you're wearing an...
identical outfit to yesterday?

Uh, well, I'm logging
those nocturnal hours.

Trying to make a good
impression, you know?

Don't try to figure out

how much you get paid
by the hour in IBD,

because I will guarantee you
it is less than minimum wage.

Well, the way I see it, I'm
in the ivory tower upstairs,

you're down here on the
floor with the peasants.

Nice.

Well, for a minute, I thought
you were actually gonna talk.

You know, you've been
here for three weeks,

and you've barely said a word to me.

I'm sorry. I've just been underwater

backing up Eric's accounts.

I know we both work for Eric,

but I'm your line manager.

Has he asked you to meet clients?

No. For sure not, no.

Well, I've got this dinner

tomorrow night with Mallon Mercer.

Nicole Craig. It's a bit
of a one-way relationship,

but substantial to the firm.

It's a chance to increase
your visibility as a grad.

Do you want to tag along?

Yeah. Yes.

I'll look into her mandate.

Don't overthink it.

Are you that thirsty?

Well, you know, if you got
a 30 quid meal allowance,

like, why would you not use all of it?

That's very naff.

How's your model?

I'll finish it in the morning.

Send it over my way, I've got capacity.

How do you have capacity?

- Brutal finance guy, innit?
- I don't know what that is.

You bouncing?

Hey, man. Hey. It's only 10:15.

No one here is actually
gonna tell you this,

but you need to put in face time.

Actually, I don't.

Staying up all night
doesn't enhance my work.

Mate. Mate!

- Let me see your room.
- My room?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, check it.

It's Pierpoint's temp accommodation

- for out-of-towners.
- Mm-hmm. Okay, okay, okay.

Looks crazy.

How easy is it to get
them Ivy League niggas

to come home with you?

I'm just here to work.

It's only with you that
everything becomes sexual.

So the only reason you're calling me

is that you want a fake transcript?

You must need it pretty bad.

You sure that's all you need?

Why? What else would I want?

What are you offering?

Did you get a job yet, Todd?

Nah, I did some unpaid shit.

It's hard to make
money off your passion.

You know, unless your
passion's... money.

Fuck you.

Okay, but if I can make your bank

think you graduated,
what's that worth to you?

What, you didn't get to
fuck tonight? Is that it?

I mean... ♪ If you need dick ♪

♪ I got you ♪

♪ I'm losing ♪

♪ I'll do anything I can... ♪

Ass up. What that ass do?

♪ Never had a doubt I'm losing ♪

♪ I'll do anything I can ♪

♪ To make sure that
You are never happy ♪

♪ Oh, love Oh, no ♪

♪ Never had a doubt I'm los... ♪

You don't listen to what
Daddy says. He's going to...

Just ignore it.

This morning meeting's
about to start, mate.

If... if what Daddy said
actually affected you,

then you wouldn't still
be on the phone now.

- Why have you changed the WACC?
- The DCF was coming out too low.

Well, how does it compare
to the transaction comps?

These pre-profit unicorns
trade on crazy multiples.

Eight times, nine times.

Less a liquidity discount,
we'd be just over the DCF.

All right, fantastic.

What's that?

That's my model.

Why are you doing the model?
Gus is doing the model.

I had capacity. I just
wanted to get ahead.

Hari, I told you to do the pitchbook,

so do the fucking pitchbook, okay?

HungerFix want to
optimize delivery speed,

so they're looking at mid-caps
with best-in-class GPS tech.

Clear comps. Deliveroo, Uber Eats...

I've found something
with good sat-nav IP.

- They're quite small...
- Don't fucking fish!

Stick to the formatting.

And for fuck sake, make
sure the font's Helvetica 12

or the MD will freak.

And I might have to take
one of you into the pitch.

I'll lead, but it'll be
good for your visibility.

- Why are you doing my model?
- Mate, it's the team's work.

No, it's my work.

It's not my fault you feel
the need to keep score.

I don't.

So, I'm guessing last
night was Boisdale?

Boisdale. Five Hertford, and
then, inevitably, Annabel's.

The triumvirate.

Like the embrace of an old friend.

Right. Okay, um... So,
I've published a piece

looking back at the decade post-crisis.

Three stages. Housing, 2007 to 2009...

How are we supposed to monetize
what's in the rear-view mirror?

Well, um...

Any new buy recommendations?

Still overweight with
a preference for the US.

Even with margins and
valuations at all-time highs?

Why bother publishing if
there are no material changes?

Well, I suppose Kaspar
can pay for my personality.

Well, you can read my note
out loud to him if you'd like.

It's not exactly commercial, is it?

Once again, the research team excel

in wasting salespeople's time.

Oh, another walkout.

So, it's one cob with bacon, no Stilton,

and the other one without...
No, no, no, wait. Sorry.

The first one I need with bacon.
Um, thank you. And, uh... Oh.

Sorry, I specifically
said, "No dressing."

Keeping the cattle fed and watered?

My first proper dinner
was with Philippe Jabre.

You know, from hedge funds? He's famous.

Dozen of us at Nobu, pre-08 Nobu.

I had gastroenteritis.

Threw up at the table.

Jabre said it was the
first interesting thing

to come out of my mouth all night.

That's only half true.

But he still called.

I still printed his business.

That's the bar.

Don't let Daria tell
you it's just dinner.

I'll work on a pitch.

Which grad do you have to bully

to get a fucking sanger?

Felim, how was Capri?

- You need to get out of here.
- Why?

You've only left the building
once in the last 48 hours.

It's automatically red
flagged by your ID card.

I don't want to know
where you've been sleeping,

but optically, I need you
to walk out of the office,

tap your card out, do
whatever, then come back.

- No more red flag.
- Okay. Sorry.

You're not in trouble.

I appreciate how you're meeting
the needs of the business.

Oh... Thanks.

Get rid of the fucking water, yeah?

And don't take the piss.

Go grab a pint.

I might come find you
when the work's done.

No rest for the wicked.

Women of power

seem to like to withhold
sunlight from women coming up.

It's not cool. We can't be doing that.

The success...

You're a bit of a masochist.

- Excuse me?
- Negging Clement in the meeting.

I spent months writing something

for the fucking salesmen
to parrot over the phone,

and Clement doesn't even
have the humility to listen

for five fucking minutes.

Yeah, but his war stories though.

He's a fucking dinosaur.

It took two years for him
to say "good morning" to me.

He's never going to speak to you.

Yeah, all right, mate. Whatever.

I'm just saying, don't think

that a guy like that's
gonna protect you on RIF.

Clement, he's... he's got Kaspar,
that's one fucking account,

and yeah, it's... it's big,

but the only way to guarantee
you survive is to say,

"I am an originator.
I won new business."

I remember I was with, um, Adrian.

Come on, what did this
place used to be called?

It's, uh, come on, it used to have

some really awful single syllable name

like "Stunt," or something like that.

Looked like a fucking building site.

So, um, does she have a...
Does she have an "ON" button?

Uh, I was looking into

- the business you did with...
- Right. Uh, priorities.

Shall we get some wine

that doesn't taste like paint thinner?

- Abso-fucking-lutely.
- Yeah.

Okay, what do we have?

Do you, uh, do you know Gus?

Uh, yeah, yeah, I live with
him. I lived with him at uni.

Oh, uh, we... we sort of
lost touch while he was there.

I went to school with
him. With all those guys.

Surprised it took you
that long to mention Eton.

Two years above. "House
Captain," he said.

I know a lot about you two.

Yeah.

Catch you later.

Saying "Everything's gonna
be okay" over and over

doesn't stop your house burning
down around you, does it?

Eventually we shall be eating our pets.

Well, if that's your
philosophy, you could trade it.

Hmm, extremely reasonable
at twice the price.

I'm... I'm being sarcastic.
It's is reassuringly expensive.

Buy an option on the US
ten year at four percent.

Yields haven't been there

since before you were born.

Actually, since the early aughts.

Were you even sentient then?

Sorry, Nicole, graduates
don't normally pitch.

Fuck that, let her talk.

With the president
bulldozing the reputation

of the US overseas, you know,

for me, it follows that...

the administration will totally
kill the rep of treasuries.

And pissing in China's
mouth isn't gonna help.

Exactly. Personally?

I just think we're due
an enormous selloff.

We're low key throwing
ourselves in cold wars

with all of our trading partners.

China are the biggest
global holder of US paper.

If they start dumping, yields
will soar past four percent.

If you think the house is burning down,

this is how you monetize it.

Bearish people lose
money in this market.

Yeah, but the world's
pregnant with tail risk.

Right, and this is a play for the end.

Who wants another drink, anyone?

My PT hates it when I'm hungover.

We are gonna have to love
you and leave you, I'm afraid.

- As hard as that is.
- Right, well, I won't get up.

Fine for you to piss off to bed,

but I'll let Harper
finish her thoughts, yeah?

Right.

Nicole.

Harper. Pick up the bill.

Mikey, you should be
fresh in the morning.

Yeah, I'll be the responsible one.

Uh, here is my card.

Thank you.

So, I can write up an email...

I don't think you're a saleswoman.

That's a compliment.

Salespeople sell... certainty.

Ah, lovely.

What a life.

Got us an Uber.

There's two times surge.

You pay twice as much to go home

and have half the fun.

Wipe your fucking nose.

It only takes two pints, doesn't it?

All the Outreach guys
together, of course.

- It's a scheme for...
- Diversity hires, I know.

Gus thinks he's above all that.

- I resent your friendship.
- Good. You're staying out.

Yeah, I'm not sure I can be
seen fraternizing with you two.

I'm sober as a judge.

- Get in the car, man. Go home.
- Don't push me.

Try not to throw up in there.

Yeah, mate, Pierpoint.

Take him home, please. Destination's in.

I can write up that option
idea for you in the morning.

If you want.

Okay.

Can I come a bit closer?

I'm so tired.

He can drop you anywhere.

Sou... Southwark.

It's not my house.

It's not my house!

My house doesn't have balconies.

It's what you put in the system, mate.

No, no, no. No, no, no. I'm... I'm fine.

Dude, if I leave you alone,

you're gonna choke on your own vomit.

- Ten minutes, ten minutes.
- Yeah, okay.

How's IBD? You're out early.

Uh...

Yeah, I don't know, I think...

I think they treat me differently.

Like I went to state school, and...

they... they... they even
talk to me differently.

This guy on my desk, Gus,

I feel like he makes it
his personal business...

trying to make me feel like
I'm unworthy of it or something.

He sounds like a fucking asshole.

This weird thing happened
at dinner with this woman.

A client.

That's good. You're doing
dinners with clients already.

Yeah. Daria, my line manager,

just invited me out of the blue.

It went really well.

And the... the client,
she gave me a ride home,

and...

she sort of...

touched me...

and she's a woman, you know?

But I don't know, it
was still kind of...

weird.

I thought she bit on an idea,

but she won't want to deal with me now.

There's no way that it could
get back to Pierpoint, right?

Hari?

Does anybody know what
day of the week it is?

Rishi, you'll love this...

So, how did the rest of
the dinner go last night?

Yeah, it was fun.

You know, I've never
actually seen someone

successfully hold Nicole's attention.

She's a notoriously hard nut to crack.

Have you followed up?

I'm not really sure I'm comfortable

calling clients yet.

- I'll send an email.
- Cool.

You rested?

HungerFix have changed the time.
They're in at nine tomorrow,

and their COO is autistic.

No, I'm not being snide, she has autism.

And levelling with you,
she's also a bit of a cunt.

Those things are unrelated.

Speed and clarity. Gus, how's the model?

I'll be done turning
comments by tonight.

We need to get the book to
the printers by 6:00 a.m.

Don't stay up all night,
but tell me that's doable.

I like you two a lot.

Hi. Robert?

Uh, I've noticed that, uh, rates
and FX and all the other teams

start their meeting pre-open.
When does the CPS one start?

Um, oh, it... it changes day to day.

Eric's not usually in it,
so it's Clement's call.

Well, um, I'd like it to
run from seven from now on,

starting tomorrow.

Can you just round everyone up for me?

Seven on the dot. Hmm?

Seven? If I was a father,

that would seriously
fuck with my morning.

Anyone up for an after work bevvie?

Thursday night sharpener?

- What, a few looseners?
- Yeah, you fancy it?

- What, to take the edge off?
- Yeah.

No, mate. And get a new suit.
You look like fucking Neo.

I am doing anything else.

Surely I can drag you out?

By my braids?

Maybe next time.

I guess we're the only people
that like to have fun around here.

Is that packet?

K. We're going vegan tonight.

See, I gotta be up really early.

Only if we go to bed.

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you Whoo! ♪

♪ I do it without you ♪

Whoo!

You're sound.

There was dinner, and then a party

for those people who had the energy.

Well, I have never seen
so many lusted-after people

who were so utterly
charmless, and sexless.

They were without charm and sex.

Clement, we've heard this one.

I wanna hear the rest.

Excuse me?

Um...

Sorry, um...

Sorry, m... my head's a blur.

You know, when two big
nights catch up with you?

Uh-huh. And, uh, who
were you entertaining?

Which client?

Um, sorry...

Get us a new phone?

Hari? You're in the
meeting with me. Well done.

Gus, I hope you don't mind?

Well deserved.

One-nil to you.

Yeah, but you're not listening
to me. It's just one page.

I fucked up the font on that one page.

Can you just reprint it?

The meeting's at 9:00
a.m. You don't have...

Helvetica 12.

It looks fucking amateur!

_

_

_

_

Never seen a grown man drop
his trouser at a urinal?

I saw a guy do it during
the Kobe earthquake, '95.

He had an arse like
an eight-year-old boy.

You know, people seem to have forgotten

the more you enjoy sales,
the more money you make.

But if you're gonna stay out all night,

iron the box lines out of your shirt.

You're not here to fix the lights.

Daria said the Mallon
Mercer meet went well.

- Monetize that shit.
- She sent an email.

We don't hide behind emails.

Get on the phone and ask
for the fucking order.

Rish! Will you shine my shoes?

Fuck yourself, mate.

Yeah, I really don't know.

Come this way. Through there.

Hari's death is an unexpected tragedy.

The next 24 hours

and the way we respond
to this are defining.

Do not speak to the press.

I'd rather you didn't speak to
anyone outside of the office.

For now,

this is about respect.

There will be an inquiry
into the circumstances.

Colin, you big wanker.

I think it makes sense
to close your eyes

and let it happen.

Market seems maxed out by policy,

but genuinely thinking
of correction, she's...

I... I agree, I agree.

They're called scale tension
because they're pulling up.

Uh, HungerFix's flight got cancelled.

They're in on Monday.

Do you...

want to talk about, you know?

_

_

Turn it up, mate.

What the fuck are you doing?

If I'm sounding frustrated,
it's 'cause I am frustrated!

Apparently, he just fucking
died. Like, collapsed.

- It's fucking scary.
- Lesson is,

don't hire people who
really need the job.

What does that mean?

I mean, certain types
of people feel the need

to overcompensate, because
they feel inadequate.

- It's also bad for us.
- How do you mean?

Take the girl with the nose ring.

Isn't it impossible to compete
with this girl's narrative?

I mean, everything's aligned for her.

You know nothing about her.

Well, I know she went to a shit uni,

and I know she's black.

And I know those things are
mutually exclusive, sure,

but together... tick, tick.

- You are fucking vile.
- Oh, come on.

It's just... realistic.

I'm so sorry, uh...

I was the less cunty one.

It's fine.

It's not the correct trade anyway.

When do I ever have you on
the wrong side of anything?

I know. Tragic. All
right, catch you later.

- Hello?
- Nicole, hi,

it's Harper from Pierpoint.

That option idea we talked about?

It was a fun night.

Let's go for it in half a yard.

Rishi? Rishi?

Rishi, I said your fucking name, dude.

Can you price that option idea
we talked about, half yard?

No way. It's wingier
than the fucking lottery.

And how the hell have you
got someone to buy an option

on treasury yields hitting four percent?

I told her that eventually
the US is going to war

in the South China Sea.
When they do, this pays out.

All right. Can do it in half her amount.

Nicole, can we do half?

No. You want to write my business,

you fill me on my first order.

- In full.
- Two secs.

- Need it in full, can you help?
- No fucking way.

I can't price it without losing money.

- That's half a billion.
- The client will not hear "no,"

and I'm not interested in that either.

Offer is five beeps.

- Offer is five basis points.
- Too high.

I'll pay four cents in up to 250.

- Work the balance with you.
- Can't do five. Four, please.

If they're paying for your
idea, make them fucking pay.

Four cents.

Four cents.

Because I'm excellent, four cents.

Do I just say, "Done"?

- "Half a yard done, four cents."
- Half a yard done, four cents.

Let's see where this takes us.

Do not forget how this feels right now.

You are a world killer.

- Now I see you.
- Thank you.

Why is there a ring in your nose?

What are you, cattle?

Welcome to the Shangri-La Hotel.

Can I get a room for the
night? Just the night.

Somewhere else.

We have the Southwark Suite.

Let's do it.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --

I've carried the culture of the firm,

led with integrity and
thought like an owner.

It's in my blood.

I'm a Pierpoint person.

There are many aspects of this job

that you'll learn by osmosis.

He makes me feel...

Special?

Are you're still the lunch girl?

It's just not a cultural fit.

Well, maybe I'll talk
about my perspective

on the cultural fit.

The Guardian have run
an article this morning.

The rats are leaving the ship.

This is still very much
a belly to belly business.

It's cute that you're living together,

but keep it professional at work.

We're asking graduates
whether they neglected

to mention anything
on their applications.

You didn't leave anything out, did you?

You are looking more and
more like Pierpoint people.

What would you do if they
just let you go next week?

I'd think of all the
wasted opportunities.