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1
00:00:06,561 --> 00:00:07,866
Oh, hey, Calvin.
What's up?
2
00:00:08,068 --> 00:00:10,381
Hey, can I borrow some milk
for my cereal?
3
00:00:10,514 --> 00:00:12,365
Malcolm used up all of ours.
4
00:00:12,459 --> 00:00:13,871
But your bowl's empty.
5
00:00:13,959 --> 00:00:16,091
Yeah, he finished
all the cereal, too.
6
00:00:17,076 --> 00:00:19,693
Do you have anything
that's magically delicious?
7
00:00:20,923 --> 00:00:23,491
Yeah, sure. Let me get you
some of Grover's good stuff.
8
00:00:23,579 --> 00:00:25,387
You want
the sugar-free quinoa flakes
9
00:00:25,475 --> 00:00:27,538
or the date-sweetened
fiber puffs?
10
00:00:28,957 --> 00:00:30,480
I'll take a banana.
11
00:00:31,693 --> 00:00:33,196
Oh, yeah,
L.A. is way different
12
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,676
than Hickory Corners...
It's always sunny,
13
00:00:35,764 --> 00:00:37,467
there's tons of culture,
14
00:00:37,584 --> 00:00:40,381
and nobody grocery shops
shirtless.
15
00:00:41,217 --> 00:00:43,178
Honey, who is that? My sister.
16
00:00:43,623 --> 00:00:44,904
Brittany?
17
00:00:45,498 --> 00:00:46,847
Do not give her money,
18
00:00:46,935 --> 00:00:48,769
and do not invite her here.
19
00:00:48,857 --> 00:00:51,053
Of course! We'd love
for you to visit.
20
00:00:51,295 --> 00:00:52,389
No! N...
21
00:00:52,514 --> 00:00:53,717
Hey, uh, Gemma,
22
00:00:53,805 --> 00:00:56,590
did you read this article
on California earthquakes?
23
00:00:56,678 --> 00:00:59,681
They say the big one
is coming any day now.
24
00:01:00,508 --> 00:01:02,482
I wouldn't
worry about that.
25
00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:05,441
I've lived in California
my whole life.
26
00:01:05,529 --> 00:01:07,896
Never been hurt
in an earthquake.
27
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:09,496
What are you doing?
28
00:01:09,584 --> 00:01:11,310
That's for your sucky cereal.
29
00:01:12,928 --> 00:01:14,932
All right, well,
love you, too. Bye.
30
00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:17,574
Wow, Dave, there's
actually someone out there
31
00:01:17,662 --> 00:01:18,699
you don't like?
32
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,156
What's her secret?
33
00:01:20,756 --> 00:01:22,389
Calvin, you don't understand.
34
00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:25,683
Gemma's sister is
a total disaster.
35
00:01:25,771 --> 00:01:27,865
She flakes on everything,
nothing's ever her fault,
36
00:01:27,953 --> 00:01:29,452
and the only time
we ever hear from her
37
00:01:29,539 --> 00:01:30,764
is when she needs
something.
38
00:01:30,852 --> 00:01:33,042
- That's not true.
- Oh, yeah? What about the time
39
00:01:33,130 --> 00:01:34,174
she asked you
for a kidney?
40
00:01:34,308 --> 00:01:37,256
That's not fair.
It wasn't even for her.
41
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:41,045
O-Okay, okay, so she's
still figuring her life out.
42
00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:43,614
- But she's got a good heart.
- Yeah, which she probably
43
00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:45,592
suckered someone
into giving her.
44
00:01:46,699 --> 00:01:49,396
You know, she sounds like
Tina's cousin Lamar,
45
00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:51,521
who she found out
wasn't her cousin,
46
00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:52,884
or named Lamar.
47
00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:56,409
Well, then you know
what I'm talking about
48
00:01:56,496 --> 00:01:58,455
and why the last person
I want here
49
00:01:58,631 --> 00:02:00,152
is... Oh, Brittany.
50
00:02:00,239 --> 00:02:01,327
Surprise!
51
00:02:01,459 --> 00:02:02,502
Brittany!
52
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,014
Oh, my God!
53
00:02:04,722 --> 00:02:06,114
Forget the banana.
54
00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:07,904
Thisis magically delicious.
55
00:02:09,002 --> 00:02:11,308
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
56
00:02:11,396 --> 00:02:13,201
♪ Welcome to the hood ♪
*THE NEIGHBORHOOD*
57
00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:15,279
Season 02 Episode 12
Title: "Welcome to the Freeloader"
58
00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:17,368
I can't believe
you're really here.
59
00:02:17,455 --> 00:02:18,875
Thought it'd be
a fun surprise.
60
00:02:19,437 --> 00:02:21,443
Like when you
showed up on our honeymoon.
61
00:02:21,764 --> 00:02:23,943
That was the best
two weeks ever.
62
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,320
Thanks again for
bailing me out.
63
00:02:27,442 --> 00:02:29,861
Mexican jails are no bueno.
64
00:02:30,303 --> 00:02:32,639
Uh, so, Brittany,
what brings you here?
65
00:02:32,928 --> 00:02:35,412
I know it wasn't Greyhound,
because they banned you.
66
00:02:36,232 --> 00:02:37,794
I've always wanted to
come to California,
67
00:02:37,881 --> 00:02:40,230
and I finally finished
dental hygiene school.
68
00:02:40,318 --> 00:02:43,006
You graduated?
Congratulations!
69
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:44,546
Oh, no, I didn't
say I graduated.
70
00:02:44,634 --> 00:02:46,115
I just stopped going.
71
00:02:47,485 --> 00:02:50,558
Uh, uh, what about the money
we gave you for tuition?
72
00:02:50,646 --> 00:02:51,750
Oh, don't worry,
I used it,
73
00:02:51,837 --> 00:02:53,273
and I enrolled in
a cosmetology course.
74
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,058
Oh, that's great.
How's it going?
75
00:02:55,145 --> 00:02:56,662
Oh, I quit that, too.
76
00:02:56,982 --> 00:02:58,395
They wanted me to go
four days a week,
77
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,287
and it's, like, I want
to be a cosmetologist,
78
00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:01,646
not a doctor.
79
00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:05,720
Okay, well, it was great
of you to stop by on your way
80
00:03:05,808 --> 00:03:07,139
to somewhere else.
81
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:09,898
Actually, I was kind of
hoping I could hang here
82
00:03:09,985 --> 00:03:11,334
until I figured out
my next move?
83
00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:13,558
Of course.
You're my little sister.
84
00:03:13,646 --> 00:03:15,311
You can stay
as long as you want.
85
00:03:15,399 --> 00:03:17,602
Cool. So, where am I crashing?
86
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,916
You can sleep in my room.
I have bunk beds.
87
00:03:20,004 --> 00:03:22,006
Ha-ha! It'll be like
we're cellmates.
88
00:03:25,047 --> 00:03:27,032
Hey, Dave.
89
00:03:27,547 --> 00:03:29,641
How's the new roommate
working out?
90
00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:32,390
Are you as miserable as I hope?
91
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:34,874
Even worse.
92
00:03:34,962 --> 00:03:38,038
She has been here one day,
and she already broke the oven,
93
00:03:38,126 --> 00:03:40,251
erased our DVR,
and this morning...
94
00:03:40,866 --> 00:03:43,836
she used my
karate gi as a bathrobe.
95
00:03:44,805 --> 00:03:47,905
Dave, you got yourself
a freeloader on your hands.
96
00:03:47,993 --> 00:03:49,808
And it's your own fault
for putting up with it.
97
00:03:49,895 --> 00:03:51,803
What am I supposed to do?
She's Gemma's sister.
98
00:03:51,891 --> 00:03:53,246
Family doesn't get a pass.
99
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,597
I don't care
if she was my mama.
100
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,516
Calvin Butler would nip
that nonsense in the bud.
101
00:03:58,604 --> 00:03:59,688
Kee-ya!
102
00:03:59,775 --> 00:04:00,776
Ha!
103
00:04:01,688 --> 00:04:02,710
Hey, guys.
104
00:04:02,798 --> 00:04:04,381
Oh, Pop, just a heads-up.
105
00:04:04,469 --> 00:04:05,967
I went over
the family data limit,
106
00:04:06,055 --> 00:04:07,736
so the phone bill's gonna be
a little bit high.
107
00:04:07,823 --> 00:04:11,008
Lot of great fights
on YouTube this month.
108
00:04:12,477 --> 00:04:13,749
Well, good thing you...
109
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,834
nipped thatnonsense
in the bud.
110
00:04:16,781 --> 00:04:17,826
Oh, and,
111
00:04:17,914 --> 00:04:19,500
uh, for the
record, it's...
112
00:04:20,311 --> 00:04:21,530
Kee-ya!
113
00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:30,240
Hey, Ma, is it cool if I
borrow your car tonight?
114
00:04:30,327 --> 00:04:32,677
Oh, sure, baby.
But it's just about out of gas.
115
00:04:32,764 --> 00:04:34,157
Oh, don't worry,
I got you.
116
00:04:34,312 --> 00:04:35,811
Where's your gas card?
117
00:04:37,086 --> 00:04:38,625
Her gas card?
118
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:41,765
You do know
they take yourcash?
119
00:04:42,643 --> 00:04:45,726
Yeah, Pop, but then Mom
wouldn't get herpoints.
120
00:04:45,984 --> 00:04:48,414
Yeah, Calvin... why are you
trying to take my points?
121
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,406
What are they even for?
122
00:04:50,501 --> 00:04:52,570
I don't know,
but they're mine and I want 'em.
123
00:04:53,539 --> 00:04:54,592
Yeah.
124
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:55,914
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
125
00:04:56,002 --> 00:04:57,500
Uh, what are you doing?
126
00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,356
I'm getting a piece
of garlic bread.
127
00:04:59,562 --> 00:05:01,414
Yeah, but the middle piece?
128
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,008
That's the one with the best
crust-to-butter ratio.
129
00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:06,685
Fine. What's the big deal, man?
130
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,192
- It's just bread.
- Oh, "it's just bread."
131
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,194
Bread that you didn't buy
or that you didn't cook.
132
00:05:12,738 --> 00:05:14,435
Well, Calvin,
you didn't cook it, either.
133
00:05:14,569 --> 00:05:16,484
I'm trying
to make a point, Tina.
134
00:05:16,819 --> 00:05:18,522
Oh. So now you want your
points?
135
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,608
Uh, look...
136
00:05:20,811 --> 00:05:22,639
he's had a job for a while now,
137
00:05:22,727 --> 00:05:25,412
and it's just time for him
to stop being a freeloader.
138
00:05:26,155 --> 00:05:27,209
A freeloader?
139
00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:29,951
Yeah. You know, I'm tired
of him not chipping in,
140
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:33,287
so I'm nipping it in the bud
right now. Kee-ya!
141
00:05:34,478 --> 00:05:35,697
Calvin,
142
00:05:35,784 --> 00:05:37,113
Malcolm is not a freeloader.
143
00:05:37,201 --> 00:05:38,452
He's just trying
to get on his feet.
144
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,210
Well, what he needs to do
is go in his wallet
145
00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:42,405
and give me some bread
for this bread.
146
00:05:43,030 --> 00:05:44,215
You know what? Fine.
147
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:45,663
If that's the way you want it.
148
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,404
Look.
Here you go.
149
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:50,744
Five dollars?
150
00:05:50,832 --> 00:05:52,459
That's all I have on me.
151
00:05:52,547 --> 00:05:54,331
Oh. Well, in that case...
152
00:05:55,705 --> 00:05:57,514
Enjoy your salad.
153
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,639
Oh. Hey.
I didn't think you were home.
154
00:06:05,726 --> 00:06:07,206
Your car isn't out front.
155
00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:09,643
Oh, yeah. Brittany took it
to go get coffee.
156
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,341
You let her borrow your car?
157
00:06:11,483 --> 00:06:13,169
That is so nice.
158
00:06:13,256 --> 00:06:15,736
Oh, I didn't say "borrow."
I said "took."
159
00:06:16,955 --> 00:06:20,241
Along with $20
and my favorite sunglasses.
160
00:06:20,419 --> 00:06:21,928
Dave, she's my
little sister.
161
00:06:22,138 --> 00:06:23,313
What do you want me to do?
162
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,108
I want you
to stop enabling her.
163
00:06:26,491 --> 00:06:28,303
The reason she quits
everything that she does
164
00:06:28,391 --> 00:06:31,046
is she knows that you'll be
right there to bail her out.
165
00:06:31,230 --> 00:06:33,217
Sometimes literally.
166
00:06:33,786 --> 00:06:35,756
Dave, I'm not
enabling here.
167
00:06:35,844 --> 00:06:37,217
I'm being supportive.
168
00:06:37,305 --> 00:06:39,451
Things just don't come
as easily to her.
169
00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:41,069
Okay. Well,
just so you know,
170
00:06:41,157 --> 00:06:43,475
Grover said her Ouija
board spelled out
171
00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:45,609
"lend Brittany money"
last night.
172
00:06:48,706 --> 00:06:50,912
Look, it's not like
she's staying forever.
173
00:06:51,076 --> 00:06:52,280
We both know
in a few days
174
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,819
she'll get bored and take off
175
00:06:53,907 --> 00:06:56,139
right after she asks
for a clean urine sample.
176
00:06:57,663 --> 00:06:59,360
Hey, guys. Guess what?
177
00:06:59,517 --> 00:07:00,692
You lost my sunglasses?
178
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:02,201
Yep, that, too.
179
00:07:03,179 --> 00:07:05,128
What I meant was,
I finally figured out
180
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,744
what I'm gonna do
with my life.
181
00:07:07,255 --> 00:07:08,685
I'm gonna be an actor.
182
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,231
What?
183
00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:16,388
I was in the
coffee shop
184
00:07:16,476 --> 00:07:17,956
and I was arguing
with the barista
185
00:07:18,052 --> 00:07:20,452
of whether or not
I brought the tip jar with me,
186
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:21,966
when...
187
00:07:22,277 --> 00:07:24,003
this talent agent comes up,
and he says
188
00:07:24,091 --> 00:07:26,316
he's going to make me...
a star.
189
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,535
Oh.
190
00:07:27,957 --> 00:07:30,636
Oh, sweetie,
I know that sounds exciting,
191
00:07:30,724 --> 00:07:32,716
but I'm not sure that
that's the way it works.
192
00:07:32,804 --> 00:07:34,833
Oh, uh, she's right.
It's a scam.
193
00:07:34,985 --> 00:07:38,136
Con artists preying
on naive dreamers.
194
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,716
I was devastated.
195
00:07:40,778 --> 00:07:42,301
No, this guy's totally legit.
196
00:07:42,388 --> 00:07:44,638
He already got me an audition
for a commercial tomorrow.
197
00:07:44,733 --> 00:07:45,802
Really?
198
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:47,065
Yeah.
199
00:07:47,332 --> 00:07:49,096
So looks like
I'm here to stay.
200
00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:50,938
Huh.
201
00:07:51,411 --> 00:07:52,790
You hear that?
202
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,433
She's here to stay.
203
00:07:55,662 --> 00:07:56,739
Whew!
204
00:07:56,827 --> 00:07:59,864
And we are here
to be supportive.
205
00:08:02,419 --> 00:08:03,653
This is so exciting!
206
00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:06,091
I'm gonna go practice my lines
up in my room.
207
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:08,151
Now, that'sa
juicy burger.
208
00:08:08,239 --> 00:08:10,720
Now, that's a juicy burger!
209
00:08:11,026 --> 00:08:12,403
That's a juicy...
210
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,747
This is a disaster.
211
00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:16,442
Dave, it's not as bad
as it seems.
212
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:20,106
Yes, it is.
Those were my sunglasses!
213
00:08:20,683 --> 00:08:22,044
It should've been me!
214
00:08:25,759 --> 00:08:27,403
Oh, that looks tasty.
215
00:08:27,669 --> 00:08:28,782
Salami and cheese?
216
00:08:28,869 --> 00:08:30,677
Oh, yeah,
and all the fixings.
217
00:08:30,765 --> 00:08:32,767
Great. That'll be seven bucks.
218
00:08:34,353 --> 00:08:36,847
You can make it a combo
for a dollar more.
219
00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:41,230
You know, actually, Pop,
what you said last night
220
00:08:41,317 --> 00:08:42,731
made a whole lot of sense.
221
00:08:42,844 --> 00:08:44,542
I shouldn't be eating your food.
222
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,692
So I went out
and I bought my own.
223
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:49,130
Okay. Steppin' up, like I asked.
224
00:08:49,498 --> 00:08:51,923
You know what?
Fix me one of those, and, um,
225
00:08:52,087 --> 00:08:53,141
make it a combo.
226
00:08:55,462 --> 00:08:56,806
You know, I would, Pop,
227
00:08:56,894 --> 00:09:00,158
but this is all stuff
I bought myself. You see?
228
00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:02,055
I put my name on it.
229
00:09:03,031 --> 00:09:04,407
Okay.
230
00:09:04,514 --> 00:09:06,322
You're putting your
name on meat now?
231
00:09:06,418 --> 00:09:08,376
Who are you, Oscar Mayer?
232
00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:12,033
Yeah, well, this way,
you eat yourfood
233
00:09:12,181 --> 00:09:14,931
and I eat mine.
Mm-hmm!
234
00:09:15,079 --> 00:09:16,869
You know what?
That is a good idea.
235
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,195
- Mm.
- Maybe I should start putting
236
00:09:19,283 --> 00:09:21,548
my name on stuff
I paid for.
237
00:09:21,636 --> 00:09:22,714
Okay.
238
00:09:22,932 --> 00:09:24,744
Look at that...
looks like
239
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:25,822
your sandwich
240
00:09:25,910 --> 00:09:27,329
is on my plate.
241
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,619
Well, lucky for me,
242
00:09:30,707 --> 00:09:32,204
this meal is handheld.
243
00:09:32,846 --> 00:09:34,994
That islucky for you.
244
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,923
But what is not lucky for you
is that your food...
245
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:40,129
is in my fridge.
246
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,162
Not a problem.
I'll get a mini fridge
247
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,322
for my room.
248
00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:48,626
Yes. A problem.
249
00:09:48,862 --> 00:09:50,259
Because...
250
00:09:50,398 --> 00:09:53,994
your room is
in my house.
251
00:09:54,947 --> 00:09:57,611
Well, in that case,
maybe I need a place of my own.
252
00:09:57,957 --> 00:09:59,283
Maybe you do.
253
00:09:59,492 --> 00:10:01,728
Well, maybe I should go look
for one right now.
254
00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:03,900
Maybe you should.
255
00:10:04,829 --> 00:10:06,141
You know what? Fine.
256
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,249
Hello?
257
00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:15,715
I just wanted to remind you...
258
00:10:16,773 --> 00:10:18,601
...that's my phone.
259
00:10:26,174 --> 00:10:28,017
Well, I hope you're happy.
260
00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:30,679
I just got off the
phone with Malcolm.
261
00:10:30,767 --> 00:10:32,441
He already found a place.
262
00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:35,001
So he's still using my phone?
263
00:10:35,444 --> 00:10:37,968
Calvin, your son is moving
into a one bedroom
264
00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:39,517
with four strangers
265
00:10:39,626 --> 00:10:42,411
all because the both of you
are too stubborn to back down.
266
00:10:42,538 --> 00:10:44,235
Me? Stubborn?
267
00:10:44,322 --> 00:10:46,806
I'll sit here all day
and argue that.
268
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:49,574
Come on, Tina.
269
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,673
Moving out is gonna
be good for him.
270
00:10:51,808 --> 00:10:53,884
How?
Well, for starters,
271
00:10:54,017 --> 00:10:55,195
with him out of the house,
272
00:10:55,283 --> 00:10:57,345
I don't have
to wear pants anymore.
273
00:10:58,439 --> 00:11:00,822
That's not good for him,
that's good for you.
274
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:04,040
Well, actually,
it's good for you.
275
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:13,613
You need to apologize
to your son and tell him
276
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,702
he can stay, or
things are gonna
277
00:11:15,789 --> 00:11:17,138
get ugly around here.
278
00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:18,759
How ugly?
279
00:11:18,847 --> 00:11:21,259
Remember the Valentine's Day
you bought me a toaster?
280
00:11:21,362 --> 00:11:22,892
Uglier than that.
281
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,269
Good morning.
282
00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:31,025
Seriously? For the last time,
stop wearing my gi.
283
00:11:31,141 --> 00:11:34,247
It's a slap in the face
to Sensei Chad.
284
00:11:36,075 --> 00:11:37,401
So, how are you feeling?
285
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,317
Are you ready
for your big audition?
286
00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:41,523
Oh, yeah, Grover and I
rehearsed all night.
287
00:11:41,611 --> 00:11:42,786
Check it out.
288
00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:46,036
Now, that's a tasty burger.
289
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,745
I thought it was
a "juicy" burger?
290
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,200
Yeah, but I decided "juicy"
291
00:11:50,288 --> 00:11:52,593
isn't a word
my character would use.
292
00:11:53,239 --> 00:11:56,184
And yet, you have it tattooed
on your lower back.
293
00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:58,778
So, what time
do you have to be there?
294
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,145
Not until 9:00.
295
00:12:00,254 --> 00:12:02,034
Brittany! It's 8:45.
296
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,541
Oh, my God, you're right.
Okay, I'm just gonna eat
297
00:12:04,629 --> 00:12:05,730
something really quick
and then we'll go.
298
00:12:05,817 --> 00:12:07,318
- Where's your pancake mix?
- What? No! No, no, no.
299
00:12:07,405 --> 00:12:09,948
No, no, no, no.
No pancakes.
300
00:12:10,036 --> 00:12:12,830
Go put on some clothes. If we
hurry, we can still make it.
301
00:12:12,918 --> 00:12:15,674
Fine. I'll meet you in the car.
302
00:12:15,762 --> 00:12:18,239
We'll just hit up a
drive-through on the way there.
303
00:12:23,372 --> 00:12:24,439
Hey.
304
00:12:24,527 --> 00:12:25,762
Hey.
305
00:12:25,872 --> 00:12:27,051
I got some boxes,
306
00:12:27,139 --> 00:12:28,958
so I'll be out of your way
by tonight.
307
00:12:29,886 --> 00:12:32,395
Look, about that, um,
308
00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:34,750
things got a little
out of hand yesterday,
309
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:38,016
so... you don't have to move out
if you don't want to.
310
00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:40,425
Oh, thank you, Pop. You know,
I've been feeling bad
311
00:12:40,513 --> 00:12:42,551
about the way things
went down, too.
312
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:46,693
Great. Well, go tell your mom
I said all that sensitive crap.
313
00:12:46,936 --> 00:12:48,684
And, uh,
314
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,650
you know, tell her we hugged.
315
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,270
She'll eat that stuff up
right there.
316
00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:56,793
Wait, so you're only
saying you want me to stay
317
00:12:56,881 --> 00:12:58,231
because Mom made you?
318
00:12:58,648 --> 00:13:00,372
Yeah.
319
00:13:01,204 --> 00:13:04,294
You expect me to wear pants
the rest of my life?
320
00:13:05,829 --> 00:13:07,409
You know what?
Do whatever you want,
321
00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:09,090
because I'm not gonna
be here to see it.
322
00:13:09,178 --> 00:13:11,267
Really?
You gonna act like that
323
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:14,723
after I said everything
your mama made me say?
324
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,318
I-I expected more from you.
325
00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:20,286
And this is exactly
what I expected from you.
326
00:13:20,545 --> 00:13:22,168
What is that supposed to mean?
327
00:13:22,256 --> 00:13:23,954
I don't know, ask Mom.
328
00:13:24,163 --> 00:13:26,723
Ha! Well, the joke's on you,
329
00:13:26,811 --> 00:13:28,944
because she's not talking to me.
330
00:13:33,692 --> 00:13:35,098
Oh, you're back.
331
00:13:35,186 --> 00:13:36,590
How'd the audition go?
332
00:13:36,678 --> 00:13:37,989
Not great.
333
00:13:38,077 --> 00:13:41,864
Brittany "accidentally" spilled
coffee on another actress
334
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:45,251
and then asked the casting
director when the baby was due.
335
00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:48,245
Huh. She wasn't pregnant?
336
00:13:48,487 --> 00:13:50,176
No,
he wasn't.
337
00:13:50,317 --> 00:13:51,606
Oh.
338
00:13:51,694 --> 00:13:53,801
Now that's a juicy burger.
339
00:13:56,591 --> 00:13:58,942
Dave, when she comes down,
please be nice to her.
340
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,022
She's in a very fragile state
right now.
341
00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,025
Oh, I don't care
what state she's in,
342
00:14:03,113 --> 00:14:04,629
as long as it's not California.
343
00:14:04,717 --> 00:14:06,036
Dave.
344
00:14:06,198 --> 00:14:08,114
But I will be nice.
345
00:14:08,928 --> 00:14:10,973
Well, my agent just called.
346
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,223
I'm sorry, sweetie.
347
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,148
- I know how much you wanted this.
- Yeah.
348
00:14:14,235 --> 00:14:15,671
Don't be too hard on yourself.
349
00:14:15,759 --> 00:14:17,196
What are you guys talking about?
350
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,578
I got the part.
351
00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,903
What?!
Of course.
352
00:14:21,518 --> 00:14:24,304
Yeah, they said they loved my
"spunky, unpredictable energy,"
353
00:14:24,392 --> 00:14:25,749
which is funny,
'cause that's exactly
354
00:14:25,837 --> 00:14:28,100
what my parole officer hated.
355
00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:32,364
Wow. Uh, you did it.
Congratulations.
356
00:14:32,452 --> 00:14:35,489
Thanks. Too bad I had
to turn it down.
357
00:14:35,665 --> 00:14:37,536
- What?
- Of course.
358
00:14:39,548 --> 00:14:41,438
Why would you turn it down?
359
00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:43,079
Well, think about it.
360
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:48,172
If I booked my first audition,
I am clearly a great actor.
361
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:51,485
And great actors
don't do commercials.
362
00:14:53,632 --> 00:14:55,649
But this is a huge opportunity.
363
00:14:55,737 --> 00:14:57,212
You're just gonna throw it away?
364
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,737
Yeah. Plus, they said
it was gonna air in Mexico,
365
00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:01,930
and I've got
mucho warrants down there.
366
00:15:03,387 --> 00:15:04,735
You know what?
367
00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:05,954
Dave is right.
368
00:15:06,145 --> 00:15:08,113
I do enable you.
369
00:15:08,627 --> 00:15:10,884
I have given you
so many chances
370
00:15:10,972 --> 00:15:13,409
and made so many excuses
for you,
371
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:15,412
and all you do is screw it up.
372
00:15:15,723 --> 00:15:17,160
But I am done.
373
00:15:17,389 --> 00:15:20,566
You need to get your stuff
and go home, now.
374
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:26,063
I know. You're right.
375
00:15:26,435 --> 00:15:27,872
I'm a disaster.
376
00:15:28,782 --> 00:15:30,235
And the worst part is,
377
00:15:30,323 --> 00:15:31,846
I don't even know why.
378
00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:34,876
I-I quit anything I start,
379
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:37,563
anything good in my life
I find a way to ruin.
380
00:15:37,976 --> 00:15:39,759
Even our relationship.
381
00:15:40,829 --> 00:15:43,868
You're the best big sister
anybody could have,
382
00:15:44,337 --> 00:15:46,775
and all I do is I-I just
take advantage of you.
383
00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:52,790
I don't know what else to say,
but I'm... I'm sorry.
384
00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,427
I'm gonna go pack my things.
385
00:15:57,392 --> 00:15:58,568
Uh, Brittany, wait.
386
00:15:58,656 --> 00:16:00,040
I'm sorry I said that.
387
00:16:00,128 --> 00:16:01,634
Please, please, please don't go.
388
00:16:01,722 --> 00:16:03,114
Are you sure?
389
00:16:03,202 --> 00:16:05,727
Of course.
You're my little sister.
390
00:16:06,662 --> 00:16:08,532
And scene.
391
00:16:12,759 --> 00:16:13,860
Wait, what?
392
00:16:15,361 --> 00:16:18,111
I told you. I am a great actor.
393
00:16:19,384 --> 00:16:20,532
You just made
all that up?
394
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:23,449
Not all. I stole a few lines
from Gossip Girl.
395
00:16:23,537 --> 00:16:25,032
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
396
00:16:25,464 --> 00:16:27,379
All right.
397
00:16:28,144 --> 00:16:30,313
That's it. You need
to leave... now.
398
00:16:30,408 --> 00:16:31,966
- What? Okay, but...
- You heard me.
399
00:16:32,054 --> 00:16:34,204
No, I'm not giving you
my pee.
400
00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:38,857
Fine. Haters gonna hate.
401
00:16:44,987 --> 00:16:46,249
You did it.
402
00:16:46,687 --> 00:16:47,985
You finally
stood up to her.
403
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,680
I know, but
I was so harsh.
404
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:51,016
Do you think
she'll get over it?
405
00:16:51,104 --> 00:16:52,618
Of course she's gonna
get over it.
406
00:16:52,706 --> 00:16:54,548
I'll tell you
what I'll never get over.
407
00:16:54,906 --> 00:16:57,986
She is a way better actor
than I'll ever be.
408
00:17:00,505 --> 00:17:02,845
Well, that's everything.
409
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,182
You know, I can't believe
you and your father
410
00:17:05,269 --> 00:17:06,923
are being so stubborn
about this.
411
00:17:07,011 --> 00:17:08,306
He's the stubborn one.
412
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,431
I just refuse to give in.
413
00:17:11,904 --> 00:17:14,777
Calvin,
Malcolm's leaving!
414
00:17:16,324 --> 00:17:18,456
Don't you have anything
to say to him?
415
00:17:18,574 --> 00:17:20,142
Fine.
416
00:17:25,673 --> 00:17:27,033
Seriously?
417
00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:29,283
You two have nothing
to say to each other?
418
00:17:29,393 --> 00:17:30,970
- Nope.
- Nope.
419
00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:34,673
See, that's what your problem
is... you're too much alike.
420
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,520
- No, we're not.
- No, we're not.
421
00:17:37,298 --> 00:17:38,492
You know what?
422
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,736
Maybe you're right.
Maybe this is a good idea.
423
00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:42,033
With Malcolm gone,
424
00:17:42,121 --> 00:17:44,511
you can finally watch
football all by yourself
425
00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:45,634
without anyone to debate
426
00:17:45,722 --> 00:17:49,056
about who's the best player,
or argue over calls.
427
00:17:49,144 --> 00:17:50,642
Sounds good to me.
428
00:17:50,925 --> 00:17:54,267
And, Malcolm, you won't be stuck
playing cards with your dad.
429
00:17:54,355 --> 00:17:55,871
You know,
talking about politics
430
00:17:55,959 --> 00:17:57,057
and what's going on
in the world.
431
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,838
That's right. I can do
that with my roommates.
432
00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:01,290
Yeah, and since two of you
sleep in the living room,
433
00:18:01,378 --> 00:18:03,611
y'all can chitchat
all night long.
434
00:18:04,803 --> 00:18:07,853
Yeah, that's...
that's gonna be fun.
435
00:18:08,905 --> 00:18:11,250
And, Calvin, you don't
have to remind Malcolm
436
00:18:11,338 --> 00:18:12,814
about taking the
trash out anymore,
437
00:18:12,902 --> 00:18:15,122
- because you'll be doing it!
- That's right.
438
00:18:16,315 --> 00:18:17,969
Uh-huh.
439
00:18:18,661 --> 00:18:21,634
Well, now that we all agree
this is for the best...
440
00:18:21,884 --> 00:18:23,712
Calvin, tomorrow's
trash day.
441
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,869
Malcolm, don't let
the doorknob hit ya
442
00:18:25,957 --> 00:18:27,603
where the good Lord
split ya.
443
00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:33,583
So, uh...
444
00:18:33,707 --> 00:18:35,919
really? Two of y'all sleep
in the living room?
445
00:18:36,293 --> 00:18:38,078
It's not as bad
as it sounds.
446
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,710
We got a line of
tape down the middle.
447
00:18:42,195 --> 00:18:43,325
Well, fine.
448
00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,919
I hope you enjoy
watching football with him.
449
00:18:46,231 --> 00:18:48,122
Well, actually,
we don't have cable,
450
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,560
which would be useless
anyway, because...
451
00:18:50,669 --> 00:18:52,403
we don't have a TV.
452
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:53,957
What?!
453
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,419
Man, that's crazy.
454
00:18:55,507 --> 00:18:57,640
Every man deserves
to watch football.
455
00:18:57,903 --> 00:19:00,200
I think
that's in the Constitution.
456
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,106
I'll tell you what.
457
00:19:03,194 --> 00:19:07,028
Why don't you come over Sunday
and watch one of the games?
458
00:19:07,442 --> 00:19:09,130
Okay, that'd be cool.
459
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:13,224
Of course... there's also
Monday Night Football.
460
00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:16,130
And Thursday.
461
00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:19,698
That would be a lot of
driving back and forth.
462
00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:22,419
Especially
without your mama's gas card.
463
00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:26,052
Well, maybe...
464
00:19:26,414 --> 00:19:28,606
you should finish out
the season here.
465
00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:31,974
That does seem like
the logical solution.
466
00:19:32,403 --> 00:19:33,606
Yeah, all right.
467
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:36,871
Well, uh, maybe you should
just stay for a little while.
468
00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:39,161
Yeah, for a little while.
469
00:19:39,422 --> 00:19:40,724
All right.
Well, good. Come on.
470
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:42,901
Let me help you get
these boxes in, son.
471
00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:44,318
Hey, you know what, Pop?
472
00:19:44,415 --> 00:19:46,766
If I am gonna stay
here for a little while,
473
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,434
I think I should
start paying rent.
474
00:19:48,529 --> 00:19:50,434
You damn straight you are.
475
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:53,208
And I'm talking market rate.
476
00:19:53,296 --> 00:19:55,333
I don't play
that rent control.
477
00:19:59,325 --> 00:20:02,692
Hey, Dave. You take Brittany
to the airport?
478
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:04,567
Actually, the train station.
479
00:20:04,655 --> 00:20:07,441
She says the airport is
"bounty hunter central."
480
00:20:08,906 --> 00:20:10,145
Well, congratulations.
481
00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:11,669
You got rid of your freeloader.
482
00:20:11,757 --> 00:20:14,020
Oh, not me.
It was all Gemma.
483
00:20:14,887 --> 00:20:16,048
What about you?
484
00:20:16,136 --> 00:20:17,958
Uh, you and Malcolm
figure everything out?
485
00:20:18,054 --> 00:20:22,474
Yeah. You know, um, he and Tina
begged me not to kick him out,
486
00:20:23,145 --> 00:20:25,161
so, what are you gonna do,
you know?
487
00:20:26,637 --> 00:20:28,030
Dave, we got to go.
488
00:20:28,118 --> 00:20:29,192
Where?
489
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,575
The train station
just called.
490
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,230
Apparently,
they have a jail.
491
00:20:33,702 --> 00:20:35,778
Oh, check out
this crazy white girl
492
00:20:35,866 --> 00:20:37,389
fighting on YouTube.
493
00:20:37,856 --> 00:20:39,358
Brittany?!
494
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,794
Damn!
495
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,341
She put that conductor
to sleep.
496
00:20:45,981 --> 00:20:47,321
And look at that.
497
00:20:47,525 --> 00:20:49,200
She's wearing my sunglasses!
498
00:20:49,288 --> 00:20:51,448
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
499
00:20:52,303 --> 00:20:54,366
Sync corrections by srjanapala
35702
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