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1
00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:08,433
"What is a wife?"
2
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,277
On this day,
3
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:22,447
I consider myself the luckiest
man on the face of the Earth.
4
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:26,794
Nice going, ace.
5
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,953
You're getting married, not
retiring from baseball.
6
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,749
"Kirsten, I... "
7
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:33,916
What, sweetie?
8
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,639
You having a tough time?
9
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,548
No, not really.
10
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,059
I've got some good ideas.
11
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,010
I just want it to be...
12
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,484
This is the most beautiful thing
13
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,435
I have ever read
in my entire life.
14
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:58,316
I asked her to take a look.
You know, check the grammar.
15
00:00:59,017 --> 00:00:59,952
You think?
16
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,819
- Stop it!
- You guys?
17
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,446
You've gotta read this.
18
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,490
Read what?
19
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,244
Wow.
20
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,164
Why aren't you marrying me?
21
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,092
If anyone
22
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:17,877
ever said something
that romantic to me,
23
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,421
I would just faint.
24
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:24,509
Right on the ground. Boom. Gone.
25
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,427
What is this?
26
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,355
Absolutely not!
27
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,565
You'll hear it
during the ceremony
28
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,182
and not a minute before.
29
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,527
Boy, Charlie,
30
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,945
she really loves you.
31
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,323
I mean, that part about...
32
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,481
Don't.
33
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,566
I'm going to start crying again.
34
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,614
Where's that
collection of quotes?
35
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,118
- I know we had one.
- It's downstairs.
36
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,671
Come on, you can't come up with,
37
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:53,964
like, a minute's worth
of wedding vows
38
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:55,299
without cribbing
off of somebody?
39
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,291
Would you just get me
the book and be quiet?
40
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,252
Yes, sir.
41
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:00,930
God, what's so hard about...
42
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,713
"I love you. I wanna
be with you forever"?
43
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,429
Yeah, what's so hard about it?
44
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:19,824
♪ Everybody wants to live ♪
45
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,566
♪ Like they wanna live ♪
46
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:24,829
♪ And everybody wants to love ♪
47
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,529
♪ Like they wanna love ♪
48
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:30,199
♪ Everybody wants to be ♪
49
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:35,204
♪ Closer to free ♪
50
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,207
♪ Closer to free ♪
51
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,310
Are you bringing anybody
to the wedding?
52
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,845
A date? No. Are you?
53
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,233
No. Griffin never would
have come, anyway.
54
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,017
He probably doesn't
even own a tie.
55
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,811
Sarah's gonna look great.
56
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,492
She's gonna walk in,
she's gonna look great,
57
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,952
and she's gonna be with Will.
58
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,954
It's bad enough I have to see
them here every stupid day.
59
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,154
They're so...
60
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,947
In the halls, by the lockers,
61
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,407
in the cafeteria.
62
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,242
In the parking lot.
63
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,288
Justin, hi.
64
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,915
I'm late for gym.
65
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:20,050
Since when does that matter?
66
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:21,959
Hey, listen, you know
what's Saturday?
67
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,721
Sophie B. Hawkins concert.
68
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,347
Remember, we bought
tickets three months ago.
69
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,641
Those great seats. I
thought maybe we'd...
70
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,799
What?
71
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,134
Go together?
72
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:32,980
What's the deal?
73
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:35,274
He's out of the picture, so now
you're running back to me?
74
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,693
We're supposed to go together
like nothing ever happened?
75
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,018
No, no, that isn't...
76
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,940
I was gonna ask you if
you wanted my ticket.
77
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,401
Yeah, sure. What the hell?
You have it on you?
78
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,664
- It's at home.
- Okay.
79
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:53,533
Well, I'll pick it up
later or something.
80
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,954
You're welcome.
81
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,374
You remember the best birthday
party you've ever been to?
82
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,594
With, like, a, uh...
I don't know,
83
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,670
like a really great
clown or something?
84
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,046
A clown?
85
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,423
Got milk?
86
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,353
That's good, that's good.
87
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,437
Well, whatever.
88
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,638
That's kind of what a
bachelor party's like.
89
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:17,848
Only, uh...
90
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,892
Only what?
91
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,112
Only eight or nine more years,
92
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,355
and we'll actually be able
to finish this conversation.
93
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:27,108
No. No, of course I'm not mad.
94
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,527
Just get back to bed, and
I'll check on you tomorrow.
95
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:30,820
I love you too.
96
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:33,990
Kirsten, what's the matter?
97
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,700
Charlie cancel the
wedding on you?
98
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,327
That was my sister.
99
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,037
I can't...
100
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:42,925
She has an ear infection.
101
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,126
She can't get on a plane
at least until Sunday.
102
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,336
So? She'll be here for
the wedding, right?
103
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,629
But...
104
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,059
See, we were supposed to spend the
night before my wedding together.
105
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,979
You know, just spend
some time, bond,
106
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,105
like we did before hers.
107
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,638
It was gonna be this tradition.
108
00:04:58,798 --> 00:04:59,974
Sorry.
109
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,894
Hold it.
110
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:05,948
Hold it, what is this?
111
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,315
The hangover brigade?
112
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,150
Well, a good scout's
always prepared.
113
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,570
Okay, scout. Raise
your right hand.
114
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,405
- Why?
- Do it.
115
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,209
Now,
116
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,910
promise me, you're not
gonna get him drunk.
117
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,121
You're not gonna
bring porno films.
118
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,665
I don't need Charlie
comparing me to that.
119
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,678
Oh, and you are not gonna
hire some stripper
120
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,254
who wants to coax him into
one last sleazy hurrah.
121
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,057
Oh, well, why don't
we just hold it
122
00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:33,350
at the public library?
123
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,768
I'm not kidding, Dudley.
124
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:38,554
Swear! On... your
grandmother's life.
125
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,056
Not Nana.
126
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,694
All right, okay. I promise.
I swear.
127
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:44,894
Thank you.
128
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:48,532
- Bailey.
- Hi.
129
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:49,950
Just the person I wanted to see.
130
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,734
- What's up?
- Little problem.
131
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,412
Kirsten just made me promise
132
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,706
that I wouldn't be responsible
for anything too "out there"
133
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,874
at the party tomorrow night.
134
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,126
Aw, man. Bummer, huh?
135
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,576
Here's the interesting part...
136
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,454
She didn't say
anything about you.
137
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,507
Here, I found it.
138
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,387
How much I owe you? Twenty-five?
139
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,472
You don't have to pay me.
140
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,558
I don't want you to pay me.
I'm giving it to you.
141
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:26,644
Forget it.
142
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,280
I don't wanna owe you anything.
143
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,439
- What are you talking about?
You wouldn't. -Uh-uh.
144
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,660
I'm not gonna let you buy
your way out of feeling bad.
145
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:34,944
I'm not.
146
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,531
Wh-what am I supposed to do?
I said I'm sorry.
147
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,044
Justin, I'm just trying to make
things better between the two of us.
148
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,661
I don't want things
to be better.
149
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,122
'Cause you know what I figured
out these last couple of months?
150
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,207
We don't need to be friends.
151
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,251
I don't need you.
152
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,388
Fine. If that's how
you're gonna be,
153
00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:54,640
then don't let me offend you
154
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,340
by trying to do
something nice for you.
155
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,175
I'll just go to the concert.
156
00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,521
Hey, wait a minute, I already
invited Robin Baratz!
157
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,804
Yeah, well, tough!
158
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,650
Guess once they schlep
in the folding chairs,
159
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:05,850
it's official, huh?
160
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,489
So I don't know if
Dud told you or not,
161
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,524
but I'm in charge of this
bachelor party thing now.
162
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,869
And all systems are go.
163
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:18,195
I mean, it's gonna be wild.
164
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,614
It's gonna be...
165
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,033
Whew.
166
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:25,045
And if you have any
special requests,
167
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,755
you know, stripper-wise, then...
168
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,038
Bay, um...
169
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,970
I mean, would you hate me
if I asked you to bag this?
170
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,336
This party?
171
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,339
Bag it? How come?
172
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,102
I don't know if I'm
gonna have time.
173
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,802
I mean, I gotta pick up my tux.
174
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,596
I've gotta go to
the travel agent.
175
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,098
I've gotta finish
writing these vows.
176
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,602
I mean, the truth is, I
gotta start writing them.
177
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,729
And...
178
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,366
And you don't think that the
sight of a half-naked woman
179
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,193
dancing around a hotel
room wouldn't inspire you?
180
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,321
It'd inspire me.
181
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,573
Cheers.
182
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:07,588
All right, so what part
are you stuck on here?
183
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,247
It's the... It's the
"forever" thing?
184
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:14,335
The "death do you part" part?
185
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,724
Oh, wait a minute, I know.
186
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,392
It's the "forsaking
all others" stuff.
187
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,310
That's what's throwing you.
188
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,551
No, it isn't.
189
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:26,764
Oh, wow.
190
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,027
I... I was just kidding.
191
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,069
You're really sweating this.
192
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,228
I am not.
193
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,948
You shouldn't be.
You shouldn't be.
194
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,148
I mean, it's Kirsten.
195
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:37,993
You're not gonna do any better.
196
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,620
- She's it, Char.
- I know that.
197
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,289
- Well, then what's the problem?
- There is no problem.
198
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,948
I'm fine. It's fine.
199
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,075
Are you sure?
200
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,421
'Cause I can go, I
can call the hotel
201
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,464
and I can cancel it.
202
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,632
Dud and the other
guys, they'll live.
203
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,800
No, I wanna do it.
204
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,001
Really, this is gonna be great.
205
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,045
We're gonna do it.
206
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,421
The party's on.
207
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,975
Bay! Bailey!
208
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:12,653
Yeah?
209
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,894
It's for you.
210
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,564
Something about
confirming a stripper.
211
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,191
Oh, that's...
212
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,953
We're getting the
house repainted.
213
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,945
- But you knew that.
- Mm-hmm.
214
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,572
Now I'll tell one.
215
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,491
Hello.
216
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,452
Yes, yes, it is.
Right, right, right.
217
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,996
Excuse me.
218
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,873
No, I'm still here.
219
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,751
- Almost ready?
- Just about.
220
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,629
She was so cute, offering
to fill in for Meg tonight.
221
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:43,183
She booked massages for
us, rented movies...
222
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,935
Oh, did you talk to
the photographer?
223
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,020
- There was a message. - I asked
him to come half an hour early.
224
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,179
- Did the florist ever call back?
- Not yet.
225
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,233
- Make sure the machine's on.
- You going out already?
226
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,975
I didn't think the
party was until later?
227
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,903
Yeah, I'm going over early
to work on my vows.
228
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,145
Oh, okay.
229
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,646
Have fun tonight.
230
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,701
And try to be home in time just
to get a little bit of sleep.
231
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,192
- Gotcha.
- Okay.
232
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,751
We're getting married
tomorrow, Charlie.
233
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,285
Is that something or what?
234
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,278
Excuse me.
235
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,406
Excuse me!
236
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:32,908
Sorry.
237
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,258
I love this song.
238
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,301
I hate it!
239
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,345
Justin, this was our song.
240
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,440
Exactly.
241
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,598
Shh.
242
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,523
You Bailey Salinger?
243
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,608
Yeah. Yes.
244
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,496
Oh, this isn't my beer.
This is my friend's.
245
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,706
- I was just holding it...
- Relax, I'm Honey.
246
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:14,032
The entertainment for
the bachelor party.
247
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,076
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
248
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,255
Bailey, everything, uh...
Everything cool here?
249
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,840
Yeah, everything's cool.
Everything's cool.
250
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,258
This is... Honey.
251
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,175
This is, uh...
252
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,970
This is Dudley and
Neil and Leo and Greg.
253
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,054
- Hey-hey.
- Hi, Honey.
254
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:26,972
Hey.
255
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,505
- Howdy.
- You're the stripper?
256
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,133
I prefer
"sartorially-challenged."
257
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,970
What does, uh,
"sartorially" mean?
258
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:37,681
Naked.
259
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,892
- What floor?
- Fourth.
260
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,821
- So you got the tapes?
- Got 'em.
261
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,355
- You got the booze.
- That's it?
262
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,825
Nobody would sell to me.
263
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,568
It's lucky I talked some guys at
Sip and Shop into buying this.
264
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,653
Oh, jeez, how pathetic.
265
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,039
So, officer.
266
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,583
Are you gonna read me my rights?
267
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,909
I'm hoping you can and
will hold it against me.
268
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,204
Oh, like I've never
heard that one before.
269
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,585
Uh-oh.
270
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,228
What the...
271
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,678
Yes...
272
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:18,972
Oh, this has gotta be a joke.
273
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,976
Very funny, Dudley!
274
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:25,405
Dud, that you?
275
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:26,364
Yeah!
276
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,606
Oh, God.
277
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:28,783
Oh, God.
278
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:29,942
Yeah.
279
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,119
It's my husband.
280
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,456
I'd introduce you, but
I think he's busy.
281
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,543
Aw, man, I'm...
282
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,128
I'm sorry.
283
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,141
We just got this new
answering machine.
284
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:56,019
I... I guess he didn't know
285
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,512
that if you pick up the
phone, it keeps taping.
286
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:03,267
Oh, it's a hell of a way to
find out, don't you think?
287
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:07,980
Oh, I don't know
what I'm doing here.
288
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,316
If I knock on that door...
289
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,364
Do you want to, um... just talk?
290
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,366
I mean, I'm just...
I'm right over here.
291
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,722
Claudia, forget it. It
wasn't so terrible.
292
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,725
Where's that heating pad?
Is it in here?
293
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,478
I swear it said "Healing
Massages" in the Yellow Pages.
294
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,031
I mean, how are you
supposed to know
295
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,075
how to say, "Stop torturing
me" in Romanian?
296
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,860
Believe me, I'm learning it
before I go back there again.
297
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:57,873
Could you put the news on?
298
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,583
I wanna hear what the weather's
gonna be like tomorrow.
299
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:03,118
Uh... In a minute.
I-I like this song.
300
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,370
Please, God, don't let it rain.
301
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,048
Oh, I bet the pad's upstairs.
302
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,832
- Wait, wait, wait!
- What?
303
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,210
- What's going on?
- Shh. Listen.
304
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,013
It's a little loud.
305
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,848
We have some requests
and dedications.
306
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:18,050
The next song goes out to
Kirsten with love from Claudia.
307
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,553
- Claud!
- Surprise!
308
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,097
That's so sweet. What song is...
309
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,853
It's the wrong song,
you stupid jerk!
310
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,533
Well, you're not too
sentimental, are you?
311
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:35,493
Hey, I said play
something romantic.
312
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:38,320
Oh, I know you did.
I'm sure you did.
313
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,375
But it's funny, Claud.
314
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:43,992
I mean, really, it is.
315
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,577
Come here.
316
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,271
Thank you very much. We're
gonna take a little break.
317
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,222
We'll be back in a minute.
318
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,577
- Ow! That was my foot!
- Sorry.
319
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,486
- Are you?
- You know what?
320
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,748
I'm gonna go find someone
else to sit with.
321
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,959
Do you have to be this
mean to me all the time?
322
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,451
You know, it's not like things
have been great for me, either.
323
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,629
Oh, yeah, okay.
324
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,130
Well, I would've
sent you a card,
325
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,674
but Hallmark doesn't make one,
326
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,416
"So your boyfriend's in prison."
327
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:34,835
Justin?
328
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,295
What?
329
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,921
Isn't that your dad?
330
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,634
What's he doin' here?
331
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,388
Who's that woman?
332
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,903
- Justin, maybe it isn't what you think.
- Son of a bitch.
333
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,520
Yeah, well, what did
it look like to you?
334
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,564
Did it look like a
business meeting?
335
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,024
'Cause that's what
he told my mom.
336
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:57,951
Wait. Don't go yet.
337
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,027
No, no, no, I gotta get
out of here, okay?
338
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,113
Open spaces.
339
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,574
Wide open spaces.
340
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,168
A big field.
341
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,827
Uh-huh. All right, thanks.
342
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,372
They're still working on it.
They said not to go anywhere.
343
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,416
Everybody's a comedian, huh?
344
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,252
Julia is at the hottest
show in San Francisco.
345
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,588
Claud and Kirsten are
out getting massages.
346
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,050
Will and Sarah are probably
giving each other massages.
347
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,718
Was it something I said?
348
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:25,854
You know, you'd probably be
349
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,429
a lot more comfortable
without that jacket.
350
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:30,567
Yeah, right, like I wanna
plummet to my death in pasties.
351
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,184
Here. You need this
more than I do.
352
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,899
Don't look at me. You hired her.
353
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:41,661
Yeah, for the party
that never was.
354
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:42,819
I mean, look at this!
355
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:43,913
We're stuck here,
356
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,958
and Charlie is sitting alone
in some empty hotel room,
357
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,117
trying to find something
to watch on SpectraVision,
358
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,577
bored out of his mind.
359
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,382
It's that new woman
at his office.
360
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:57,459
Every day, he comes home
and says how funny she is.
361
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,513
Or it's the girl at
the dry cleaners.
362
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,506
I know she always
flirts with him.
363
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,728
What is the room number next door?
I'm gonna call.
364
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,729
Monica, that's not a...
365
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,055
No, I have to find
out who she is!
366
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,140
What if I know her?
367
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,559
What if she's someone
that I know?
368
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:17,521
What if she's beautiful?
369
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:22,734
I bet she probably is young
and beautiful and...
370
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,321
He used to think...
371
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,408
He used to...
372
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:36,081
I could be attractive to a man.
373
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,585
Maybe not at this second, but...
374
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:46,633
Do you think someone
could find me...
375
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,803
Yeah.
376
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:51,346
Yeah, I do.
377
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,352
I'm sorry.
378
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,938
Am I keeping you from something?
379
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,275
Nah. Just... this
bachelor party.
380
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:04,953
It's supposed to be.
381
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,820
I'm surprised everybody's
not here yet.
382
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,906
Is it a good friend of yours
who's getting married?
383
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:17,205
Yeah. Um... We're pretty close.
384
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:18,999
Oh.
385
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:21,376
Why?
386
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,222
There's a bar in the lobby.
387
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,547
Maybe...
388
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,926
Can I buy you a drink?
389
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,399
Sure. Yeah.
390
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,891
I have time for that.
391
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,367
- Finally.
- Jeez, Louise!
392
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,276
We sure took the scenic route.
393
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,955
Come on, I gotta pee
like a racehorse!
394
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,114
Well, all the lights are
on, but nobody's home.
395
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,294
Hey, I'm starving. Anybody
else for room service?
396
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,962
It's weird he's not here.
397
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,130
Where do you think he is?
398
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,705
I don't know. Maybe
he's getting some air?
399
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,457
Maybe he's out getting some.
400
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:01,875
Ooh, beer me.
401
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:05,513
Just let we have a large
pizza, extra anchovies. Good.
402
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,755
No.
403
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,341
No way.
404
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,092
I'm trying.
405
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,970
I'm trying, but it just
doesn't make any sense.
406
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,649
What is he looking for up there,
407
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,517
apart from the obvious?
408
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,770
I don't know. Man,
I've never met him.
409
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:24,523
Oh, come on. You're a guy.
Help me out.
410
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:31,863
Maybe he's... scared to
be with one person.
411
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:36,294
Maybe the idea of that,
for the rest of his life,
412
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:39,079
I mean, that's... That's big.
413
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,583
I swear I don't get that.
414
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:47,295
Yeah, well, I don't get needing
75 pairs of shoes. I mean...
415
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,631
Oh, yeah, right.
416
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,508
They're exactly the same.
417
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:55,230
What is wrong with waking up
418
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,723
next to one person who you love
for the rest of your life?
419
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,320
Is it like there's
some cosmic scorecard?
420
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,896
He who's racked up the
most before he dies wins?
421
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,450
I don't know.
422
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,650
Oh.
423
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,860
Well...
424
00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,739
How many women have
you slept with?
425
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,251
Excuse me?
426
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,753
I'm sorry. Listen to me.
427
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:22,205
I mean, we've only known each
other for, what, 20 minutes?
428
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:23,790
Thirty.
429
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,375
Minutes or women?
430
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:28,920
Um, both, actually,
more or less.
431
00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,007
Thirty.
432
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,385
Do you even remember
all their names?
433
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,347
I'm not 100-percent sure I
knew them all to start with.
434
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:41,641
Uh!
435
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:42,892
You asked.
436
00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,102
Okay.
437
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:45,895
Okay, but...
438
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,399
But if you were to
meet the right woman,
439
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:53,236
the perfect, right,
wonderful woman,
440
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,864
you could give all
that up, couldn't you?
441
00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:58,209
I guess I'd have to.
442
00:21:58,233 --> 00:21:59,659
Yeah, well,
443
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,495
not according to my husband.
444
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,759
Hey, you know that
friend of yours,
445
00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:08,209
the one who's getting married?
446
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,588
What about him?
447
00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,132
Tell him he better mean it.
448
00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:17,854
Tell him, if he's gonna stand
up in front of God and everyone
449
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:20,055
and promise to love
some woman forever,
450
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:22,692
he better make sure
451
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,809
he's got all that other
crap out of his system.
452
00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:27,520
Tell him I said so.
453
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:34,620
So, what's our feature
presentation for tonight,
454
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:36,112
Ms. Salinger?
455
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,448
It's An Affair to Remember.
456
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:39,667
Ah!
457
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:40,960
Excellent choice.
458
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,285
I never heard of it.
459
00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:45,121
But at the place, they
said it was good.
460
00:22:50,994 --> 00:22:52,253
Okay.
461
00:22:57,584 --> 00:23:00,720
Claudia, where did
this tape come from?
462
00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:04,057
From the video store.
463
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:10,063
What is that?
464
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,443
You don't wanna know.
465
00:23:17,145 --> 00:23:18,571
I can't believe this.
466
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:22,158
I bet whoever got our movie is
saying exactly the same thing.
467
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,077
I ruined everything.
468
00:23:24,152 --> 00:23:26,923
This was supposed to be
your great, special night,
469
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,499
and every stupid thing
I did, it just...
470
00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:32,762
What's the use of making plans
471
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:34,671
if they're all just
gonna get messed up?
472
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:36,131
Hey, sweetie.
473
00:23:36,164 --> 00:23:38,341
Sometimes the best
things happen that way.
474
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:39,759
Yeah, right.
475
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:42,262
Like how I ended up here.
476
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:44,931
I had five interviews that day.
477
00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:47,225
And I could've gone
to any one of them,
478
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,102
except my car wouldn't start.
479
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,490
I got a job, I met all you guys,
480
00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:53,648
and I fell in love.
481
00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:59,038
I'm getting married tomorrow
482
00:23:59,062 --> 00:24:01,990
because this was the one
interview that I could walk to.
483
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,302
Hey.
484
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:25,013
What, are you
following me around?
485
00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:26,931
No.
486
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:30,894
Stupid bar up the street
wouldn't let me in.
487
00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:32,604
Good.
488
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,691
So, what are you gonna...
489
00:24:36,933 --> 00:24:38,276
Um...
490
00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:40,445
Are you gonna say
something to him?
491
00:24:41,104 --> 00:24:42,489
I don't know.
492
00:24:42,772 --> 00:24:45,543
I don't... I don't want
any crummy excuses
493
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,702
or lies or...
494
00:24:50,488 --> 00:24:51,956
No.
495
00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,751
I'm not doing this. I'm
not doing this with you.
496
00:24:54,784 --> 00:24:56,836
Justin, you should
talk about it.
497
00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:59,464
- Talk to me.
- About screwing around?
498
00:24:59,956 --> 00:25:02,185
Why don't you go have that
conversation with him.
499
00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:03,843
You guys have that in common.
500
00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:09,766
Can't you stop being angry
for, like, five minutes?
501
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,819
I wanna help you.
502
00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:14,062
- Give me a break, okay?
- I do.
503
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,617
Look, just forget about the
last few months, okay?
504
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:19,285
I mean, you and I, we
have always been...
505
00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:21,027
I mean, when my parents...
506
00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:28,034
You were the first one I called.
507
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:31,829
I know that.
508
00:25:36,576 --> 00:25:39,379
Listen, I'm here, and
I care about you.
509
00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:43,508
And you shouldn't have
to deal with this alone.
510
00:25:47,587 --> 00:25:49,847
Justin, who else are you
gonna talk to about this?
511
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:56,980
Come on.
512
00:25:59,432 --> 00:26:00,775
No.
513
00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:03,037
I can't.
514
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,195
Uh...
515
00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:06,072
you and me,
516
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:07,991
we're not friends.
517
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:10,201
We're not anything.
518
00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:14,247
About six feet,
519
00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:16,175
uh, long, dark hair,
520
00:26:16,199 --> 00:26:18,209
kind of scruffy-beard
thing going on.
521
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:20,128
With a woman, maybe.
522
00:26:21,204 --> 00:26:22,338
Okay, thanks.
523
00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:27,427
We should charge
this to his room.
524
00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:29,095
That'd show him.
525
00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:31,598
It's on me.
526
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:33,057
No. I kept you from that party.
527
00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:34,809
I want to.
528
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:37,645
I don't want you thinking that
all men are pigs or anything.
529
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,524
I knew I met you for a reason.
530
00:27:00,201 --> 00:27:01,419
Hi.
531
00:27:02,203 --> 00:27:04,839
I... I don't wanna go home yet.
532
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:07,508
He's probably back there by now.
533
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:10,136
He's probably
wondering where I am.
534
00:27:11,629 --> 00:27:12,805
Good.
535
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:18,019
Oh, I think I'm gonna
get a room and crash.
536
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:22,023
I'll be Scarlett O'Hara and
worry about it tomorrow.
537
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,275
I think that's a
very decent plan.
538
00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:31,491
Just now?
539
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:33,743
Okay, thanks. Thanks a lot.
540
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:39,457
So, Charlie,
541
00:27:39,949 --> 00:27:41,501
we're friends now, right?
542
00:27:42,535 --> 00:27:44,253
Sure. You bet.
543
00:27:44,704 --> 00:27:48,341
Then, maybe you won't mind
if I ask you a small favor?
544
00:27:51,961 --> 00:27:53,179
Would you...
545
00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:55,139
sleep with me?
546
00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:57,517
What?
547
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:01,697
A, I think you're really cute.
548
00:28:01,721 --> 00:28:05,951
And two, I think what I
need to do right now
549
00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:07,870
is to even the score,
550
00:28:07,894 --> 00:28:09,737
to level the playing field.
551
00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:11,957
I mean, isn't there
that expression,
552
00:28:11,981 --> 00:28:13,825
"turn about is foreplay"?
553
00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:15,493
I think it's "fair play."
554
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:17,829
Whatever.
555
00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:22,834
Am I signing in the right place?
556
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:54,166
- Going down?- No, I'm not.
557
00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:56,293
- What time have you?- Ten after five.
558
00:28:56,317 --> 00:28:57,294
Oh, great.
559
00:28:57,318 --> 00:28:59,672
Oh, no. Oh, no!
560
00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,205
He thinks she's not coming.
561
00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:03,175
She got hit by a car!
That's why she's not there?
562
00:29:03,199 --> 00:29:06,002
How can he not hear the siren?
It's her ambulance.
563
00:29:06,202 --> 00:29:07,587
I can't take this.
564
00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:11,674
So are you in, or are you out?
565
00:29:11,958 --> 00:29:13,217
Call. What do you got?
566
00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:15,938
Um, two pair.
567
00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:16,981
Ha!
568
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,848
The house is full!
569
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,516
But not that full.
570
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,268
Straight flush!
571
00:29:29,851 --> 00:29:31,319
Wait, maybe that's, uh...
572
00:29:31,519 --> 00:29:32,862
Oh. Still not him.
573
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:33,873
Can I talk to you for a second?
574
00:29:33,897 --> 00:29:35,406
Excuse me. You kids go ahead.
575
00:29:35,690 --> 00:29:38,534
I saw them. I saw them
getting a room together.
576
00:29:39,986 --> 00:29:42,131
I guess Charlie decided
not to go so gently
577
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:43,424
into the good night after all.
578
00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:44,624
What?
579
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,085
Do you think this is funny?
580
00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:48,419
No. I just...
581
00:29:50,038 --> 00:29:51,506
No, no, I don't.
582
00:29:51,831 --> 00:29:53,549
Well, who is she?
583
00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:56,344
Do you think it's
somebody that he knew?
584
00:29:56,669 --> 00:29:58,564
Somebody that he met
down in the bar?
585
00:29:58,588 --> 00:30:00,065
Somebody that he...
That he picked up
586
00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:02,526
in the, in the gift
shop buying magazines?
587
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:04,153
I can't even begin to guess.
588
00:30:04,177 --> 00:30:05,561
You know, I did this.
589
00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:08,064
I dragged him here.
590
00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:10,159
There was something
going on with him.
591
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:12,036
I knew that, and he was
trying to tell me,
592
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:15,113
but no, I have to throw
him a party in a hotel
593
00:30:15,188 --> 00:30:17,249
with women and beds.
594
00:30:17,273 --> 00:30:18,834
I just... I walked him
right into this.
595
00:30:18,858 --> 00:30:20,127
Bailey, listen to me.
596
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:21,327
You didn't anything.
597
00:30:21,569 --> 00:30:23,422
Your brother's an adult.
He did this.
598
00:30:23,446 --> 00:30:24,747
Yeah, well...
599
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:28,209
He expects me to stand
up for him tomorrow,
600
00:30:29,035 --> 00:30:31,472
be his best man and
make some toast
601
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:33,339
congratulating the happy couple?
602
00:30:34,707 --> 00:30:36,008
Well, forget it.
603
00:30:37,752 --> 00:30:39,262
Forget it. I won't.
604
00:30:50,473 --> 00:30:52,733
You're nervous.
605
00:30:54,894 --> 00:30:56,279
That's sweet.
606
00:30:58,398 --> 00:31:00,032
I am a little too.
607
00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:06,122
You'll be the first
one in a long time,
608
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,499
other than what's-his-name.
609
00:31:10,285 --> 00:31:12,336
Other than Stuart.
610
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:23,931
Monica, no.
611
00:31:24,507 --> 00:31:27,810
No, it's all right. I want to.
612
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,605
Only because...
613
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:32,700
you're drunk
614
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:34,952
and you're hurt and pissed off.
615
00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:36,277
Oh, come on.
616
00:31:36,477 --> 00:31:39,123
You don't even have to remember
my name tomorrow. How's that?
617
00:31:39,147 --> 00:31:42,825
Look, I'm sorry,
but we're not...
618
00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:47,038
Why?
619
00:31:47,488 --> 00:31:51,218
I'm not good enough to be
number 31 on the Charlie list?
620
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:52,668
Are you kidding?
621
00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:55,931
A year and a half ago,
me and you in a hotel,
622
00:31:55,955 --> 00:31:59,133
it's all I would have
been thinking about.
623
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,260
But...
624
00:32:01,544 --> 00:32:02,803
But...
625
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,390
I've kind of been using you,
626
00:32:07,133 --> 00:32:09,310
you know, to figure
something out.
627
00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:12,980
Well, I've been using
you, too, so we're even.
628
00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:18,736
I'm in love with someone.
629
00:32:21,272 --> 00:32:22,615
Kirsten.
630
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:25,910
Her name's Kirsten, and...
631
00:32:25,985 --> 00:32:27,838
I don't know why I
didn't say anything.
632
00:32:27,862 --> 00:32:29,247
I should have.
633
00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:33,677
And, you know, before,
634
00:32:33,701 --> 00:32:36,712
when you asked me if I
could give up other women,
635
00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:40,851
the truth of it is,
636
00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:44,136
I didn't know the answer
to that until just now.
637
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:49,100
But, it's yes.
638
00:32:50,677 --> 00:32:53,062
No matter how beautiful
and how tempting,
639
00:32:54,555 --> 00:32:56,107
the answer is yes.
640
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,214
Did I wake you up?
641
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:23,426
It's okay.
642
00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:26,304
All right.
643
00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:28,472
Here's the deal.
644
00:33:28,631 --> 00:33:32,727
This... This does not mean
that we're friends, okay?
645
00:33:34,053 --> 00:33:35,271
I mean, uh...
646
00:33:35,388 --> 00:33:37,940
tomorrow we're...
647
00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:39,400
We're still...
648
00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:47,992
I need you right now.
649
00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:54,832
Okay?
650
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:05,551
So I was going to tell her,
651
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:07,970
my mother, uh...
652
00:34:09,255 --> 00:34:12,016
I got home, and she was up.
653
00:34:14,093 --> 00:34:16,312
She's... She's sewing.
654
00:34:18,931 --> 00:34:23,194
I mean, it's something that
she just does late at night.
655
00:34:23,686 --> 00:34:25,613
Who knows why, but, uh...
656
00:34:27,940 --> 00:34:30,502
And his car's there,
in the driveway.
657
00:34:30,526 --> 00:34:31,962
He's, uh, he's home already.
658
00:34:31,986 --> 00:34:34,830
He's home. He's, uh, asleep.
659
00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:41,847
I mean, he goes out
with this, this whore,
660
00:34:41,871 --> 00:34:44,340
and then he comes home, and
he sleeps in their bed.
661
00:34:48,711 --> 00:34:50,012
I gotta tell her.
662
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:52,723
I don't...
663
00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:56,060
I don't think you should.
664
00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:59,230
Her husband is, is
cheating on her.
665
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:00,949
This is something...
666
00:35:00,973 --> 00:35:02,284
She needs to know this!
667
00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:03,484
Yeah.
668
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:08,197
But maybe what's
gonna happen is,
669
00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:11,409
your dad's gonna realize who
he's supposed to be with.
670
00:35:12,401 --> 00:35:15,037
That it was dumb to go
out looking for someone
671
00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:18,258
different, or better,
or more exciting,
672
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:20,376
or whatever he thinks.
673
00:35:21,869 --> 00:35:23,754
Maybe he's gonna
figure that out.
674
00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:27,633
That he was with the
right person all along
675
00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:29,552
to begin with.
676
00:35:32,922 --> 00:35:34,691
And that trying to
be with someone else
677
00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:37,393
was just a big mistake.
678
00:35:42,431 --> 00:35:43,607
Is that...
679
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,235
what happened with you?
680
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:50,197
With us?
681
00:35:57,572 --> 00:35:59,081
I don't know.
682
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:35,784
Looks like I missed a
pretty good party.
683
00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:37,786
Yeah.
684
00:36:37,987 --> 00:36:39,788
There were some real highlights.
685
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,707
Let's see, uh...
686
00:36:42,950 --> 00:36:46,086
We got stuck in the elevator
for who knows how long.
687
00:36:46,579 --> 00:36:49,057
The stripper never actually
took her clothes off.
688
00:36:49,081 --> 00:36:50,466
I brought the wrong videos.
689
00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:52,644
And, and, oh!
690
00:36:52,668 --> 00:36:53,645
Oh, yeah!
691
00:36:53,669 --> 00:36:56,481
I saw you go into a hotel
room with a woman,
692
00:36:56,505 --> 00:36:58,233
who, what do you know,
693
00:36:58,257 --> 00:37:00,309
isn't the one you're
marrying in ten hours.
694
00:37:01,552 --> 00:37:03,312
- You saw us?
- Yeah.
695
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:06,440
When you didn't show up,
I went looking for you.
696
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:13,280
The woman, um, Monica,
697
00:37:13,981 --> 00:37:16,992
caught her husband
cheating on her
698
00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:19,119
in there, next door.
699
00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:23,666
And, uh, I found her in the
hallway falling apart,
700
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:27,795
and you guys were
God knows where,
701
00:37:28,704 --> 00:37:30,673
and she asked me to
keep her company.
702
00:37:30,957 --> 00:37:33,769
So we went, and we had a
drink, and we talked.
703
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:34,969
Right.
704
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,222
Come on, Charlie. I'm
not an idiot, okay?
705
00:37:38,464 --> 00:37:40,140
I saw how you were yesterday.
706
00:37:40,549 --> 00:37:42,110
I saw you freaking
out about your vows,
707
00:37:42,134 --> 00:37:44,112
all that "forsaking
all others" stuff.
708
00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,031
You went to a room with her.
You didn't just talk.
709
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:47,690
We just talked.
710
00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:50,651
And yeah, something could've
happened pretty easily.
711
00:37:51,018 --> 00:37:53,038
I mean, she wanted
something to happen,
712
00:37:53,062 --> 00:37:55,948
but I didn't.
713
00:37:58,609 --> 00:38:01,453
I have Kirsten, and I
don't want anyone else.
714
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,748
End of story.
715
00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:22,933
You finish writing your vows?
716
00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:26,604
I can't come up with anything.
717
00:38:27,763 --> 00:38:29,023
Well, you just did.
718
00:38:31,225 --> 00:38:32,735
Really. What you just said.
719
00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:35,112
That pretty much covers it.
720
00:38:37,648 --> 00:38:38,824
Okay.
721
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,160
Thanks.
722
00:38:48,951 --> 00:38:50,461
Look at you. You're this...
723
00:38:50,953 --> 00:38:52,379
This grownup.
724
00:38:53,539 --> 00:38:54,882
This man.
725
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:57,968
This married man.
726
00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:03,265
I wish they were here
to see you like this.
727
00:39:05,968 --> 00:39:07,436
Or maybe they know.
728
00:39:09,305 --> 00:39:10,648
I hope they know.
729
00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:18,072
Claud?
730
00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:29,333
Wow!
731
00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:32,878
I couldn't sleep, so I figured
I'd do a little dress rehearsal.
732
00:39:37,833 --> 00:39:39,259
What do you think?
733
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:48,310
Wow.
734
00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:50,437
Kirsten...
735
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:52,491
There's this piece I play.
736
00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:55,734
It's the andante from
Mendelssohn's Fourth.
737
00:39:56,435 --> 00:39:58,320
It's the prettiest music I know.
738
00:40:00,856 --> 00:40:02,366
That's what you look like.
739
00:40:18,290 --> 00:40:19,309
Charlie.
740
00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:20,592
Oh, hey, George.
741
00:40:21,752 --> 00:40:23,063
I didn't mean to scare you.
742
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,139
I just wasn't expecting
you, that's all.
743
00:40:25,548 --> 00:40:26,566
Yeah.
744
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:29,194
Just needed to be some
place quiet for a while,
745
00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:30,477
clear my head.
746
00:40:32,471 --> 00:40:33,897
Waxing the floor?
747
00:40:34,890 --> 00:40:36,150
Uh-huh.
748
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,527
Shiny.
749
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,488
Thank you.
750
00:40:42,064 --> 00:40:43,490
You wanna take a little break?
751
00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:46,368
Have a cup of
coffee, sit awhile?
752
00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:49,288
Come on over.
753
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:52,583
You're the boss.
754
00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:54,835
Yeah.
755
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:57,838
I'm the boss.
756
00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:03,635
I'm the boss and...
757
00:41:06,839 --> 00:41:08,265
kind of the dad.
758
00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:11,977
Couple hours from now, I'm
gonna be the husband.
759
00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:16,648
If I had a clue how to be even
one of those, I'd be happy.
760
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,779
There was this woman tonight.
761
00:41:22,521 --> 00:41:24,156
Last night, whenever it was,
762
00:41:25,941 --> 00:41:27,743
and she wanted me to
go to bed with her.
763
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:32,956
And she was pretty and needy.
764
00:41:33,908 --> 00:41:35,793
Always a good combination,
right, George?
765
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:40,422
It felt like this
test, you know?
766
00:41:41,790 --> 00:41:44,301
The snake offering the
apple, that kind of thing.
767
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:46,970
And I said no.
768
00:41:48,088 --> 00:41:50,140
So if it was a
test, I passed it.
769
00:41:50,716 --> 00:41:53,227
Which means that I ought to be
feeling pretty good about now.
770
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:57,147
So, just let me ask
you a question.
771
00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:01,443
How come I still feel like I
wanna run away some place?
772
00:42:02,102 --> 00:42:04,655
How come I-I feel
like I can't breathe?
773
00:42:05,689 --> 00:42:08,710
How come it feels like somebody's
got their fist around my lungs,
774
00:42:08,734 --> 00:42:09,952
and they're just...
775
00:42:13,989 --> 00:42:15,457
I don't know.
776
00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:20,128
Yeah.
777
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:22,506
I don't know, either.
778
00:42:24,750 --> 00:42:26,260
I don't know, either.
779
00:42:30,589 --> 00:42:32,651
You got a quarter? Nickel?
780
00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:33,851
Anything?
781
00:42:41,058 --> 00:42:42,234
Thanks.
782
00:42:43,602 --> 00:42:44,579
Okay, this is it.
783
00:42:44,603 --> 00:42:46,405
Heads, I, I get married.
784
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:48,866
Tails...
785
00:42:50,025 --> 00:42:51,243
Tails, I...
786
00:42:57,283 --> 00:43:00,419
Huh. How about that?
787
00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,092
Best two out of three.
53705
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