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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Please! Please don't!
Come on, I got a family!
3
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,909
Now, that's just a staging kill,
4
00:00:30,910 --> 00:00:33,549
but if volcano sacrifices is your thing,
5
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,319
this is the lair for you.
6
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,009
- I'll take it!
- Great!
7
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- I'll draw up the papers...
- Aah... You know, on the other hand,
8
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,359
is the giant skull a bit
too flashy for my brand?
9
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Can we see some other options?
10
00:00:43,986 --> 00:00:47,459
You'll love this one. A short
getaway from all the major banks.
11
00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:49,499
Sounds like a dream. Where is it?
12
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,299
You're standing on it.
13
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An intricate system of
tunnels carved by The Mole.
14
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,309
I mean, hey, I love it, but am I
really going for a "mole lady" vibe?
15
00:00:58,310 --> 00:01:00,279
Ah, okay. Next!
16
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,579
The last tenant, Mr. Freeze,
did a number on the place,
17
00:01:02,580 --> 00:01:05,549
but the castle is
perfect for entertaining.
18
00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:07,279
Hmm, not sure my nips
19
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,979
and her buds can handle this cold.
20
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:11,319
You've seen six lairs.
21
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Okay, thank you.
22
00:01:12,414 --> 00:01:15,789
Let's just discuss this out of the cold.
23
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A super villain's lair is a
reflection of who they really are.
24
00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:21,729
So, who is Harley Quinn?
25
00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:23,299
That's a hard question to ans...
26
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,369
Harls, you got us uniforms!
27
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:28,469
Ooh, Suicide Squad! Is that our name?
28
00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:30,939
Ugh, it's a group that keeps
trying to get me to join.
29
00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:32,839
I don't want to run lines with you.
30
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Good! Because I despise that phrase.
31
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People run marathons, not lines.
32
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Actors exchange true...
33
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Look what Harley got us.
34
00:01:41,650 --> 00:01:43,349
Ah! Ah! Come on!
35
00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:46,349
Ivy, you're evicted! You
and the circus act here
36
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need to move out faster than
sauerkraut through my lower intestine.
37
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Yes, Sy! We're leaving in a minute.
38
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Good. I'm showing the place to...
39
00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:56,629
That just cost you
your security deposit!
40
00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:58,629
You know what, why don't
I come back another time?
41
00:01:58,630 --> 00:02:00,639
No, sorry, sorry, don't go. Don't go.
42
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,409
Look, it's just Joker
made the big decisions.
43
00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:04,639
Okay. How about we ask you
44
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,479
some questions and maybe that'll help?
45
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,409
Worth a shot. Why did you
first become a villain?
46
00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:10,779
Well, you know, it's because...
47
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There you go. You know this answer.
48
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,379
- Uh, well...
- You know this.
49
00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:15,849
I guess...
50
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:17,289
- I don't know.
- Oh, my God.
51
00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,919
What villain do you most admire?
52
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- I don't know!
- Harley!
53
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,819
- Chocolate or vanilla!
- I don't know!
54
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Harley! I can't help
you, until you tell me
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who you are!
56
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,724
I don't know! I don't know!
57
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:31,494
I don't know!
58
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:36,769
Oh, shit. Harley?
59
00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:38,939
Honey, can you hear me?
60
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"Dry clean only". Fuck this.
61
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:43,609
Okay, who broke Harley?
62
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,890
Harley, are you in there?
63
00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:51,949
Dude?
64
00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,359
Whoa! Stop!
65
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,419
Unmouth her, fiend!
66
00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:56,989
I was just trying to give her CPR.
67
00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,729
Harley, snap out of it! Come on!
68
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,729
Ah! No response to physical stimuli.
69
00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:02,759
It's probably a level-four brain freeze.
70
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,369
Psycho, can you fix her?
Like, go in her brain
71
00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:06,699
and do the fucking thing.
72
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,639
That sounds like something
a doctor could do.
73
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,239
But not someone you just
referred to as "Psycho".
74
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,739
Ugh, fine, Dr. Psycho!
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Yes!
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00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:18,379
Can you fix her?
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Can I fix her? Of course I can fix her!
78
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,589
I'm just gonna slip inside her brain,
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00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:25,316
do my thing, wham-bam,
thank you, ma'am...
80
00:03:25,317 --> 00:03:26,989
and I'm done in-a two minutes.
81
00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:30,829
Oh, fucking gross! You think
I'm gonna let you creep around
82
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:32,559
Harley's head without us, you perv?
83
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,019
- Yes! Perv!
- You're the perv!
84
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:38,429
But, as a professional,
I will tell you to prepare
85
00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:41,639
because this is serious,
meticulous, neuron processing
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00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,039
we're about to undertake.
87
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,393
Now, everyone hold hands
88
00:03:44,394 --> 00:03:46,449
and squeeze your butt cheeks together.
89
00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,050
Ahh!
90
00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,899
Whoa! Everyone okay?
91
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,869
Where's Psycho?
92
00:04:15,870 --> 00:04:18,609
Dr. Psycho!
93
00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:21,139
What an ugly baby I have birthed.
94
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:24,509
Does he taste like fudge? In
my dreams, he does.
95
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:27,549
Huh, Harley's brain is much cleaner
96
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,789
and less Harley-ish than
I would have imagined.
97
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:34,559
I know! I know. Because this
is her Museum of Memories.
98
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,559
Oh! Look.
99
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,489
You came home late again, Nick,
100
00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:41,599
smelling like alcohol and whore.
101
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,069
She's just a friend from work.
102
00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:44,899
Stop breathing down my neck, Sharon.
103
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:46,429
Can't breathe down what's not there,
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00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:47,939
you cocksucker!
105
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:50,069
Mamma mia!
106
00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:53,109
It's pretty good scene
work for a six-year-old.
107
00:04:53,110 --> 00:04:55,939
I am honored to be the valedictorian,
108
00:04:55,940 --> 00:05:00,019
and I just want to
thank absolutely no one.
109
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,549
Fuck all of ya!
110
00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:03,789
Fuck the principal.
Fuck the shop teacher
111
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that looks at my ass every
time I walk out of class.
112
00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:07,919
Yeah, I see you.
113
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,089
Have a great fucking summer!
114
00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:12,489
I basically gave the same
speech at my sister's wedding.
115
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,129
- Ah! Harley!
- Oh, hey, guys.
116
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:16,699
Wait. How can Harley be in here
117
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:19,769
if we're in Harley, and if Harley is...
118
00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:21,368
Yeah, I wouldn't think too
hard about bringing logic
119
00:05:21,369 --> 00:05:22,369
for the next 20 minutes.
120
00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:24,069
We're just here to
give you a hard reboot.
121
00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:26,739
- Ooh. Ow!
- Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, listen up.
122
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:29,609
While I find the switch,
you follow hooker rules.
123
00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:31,249
- No kissing on the mouth?
- I'm sorry.
124
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,609
Stripper rules.
125
00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:34,249
Look but don't touch.
126
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,119
The brain will protect
itself if it feels threatened.
127
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,519
Hey, Ive, I think there's something
really screwed up about me.
128
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,689
I want to say this in
just the most loving way,
129
00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:44,729
but, there's no way that this
is just occurring to you now?
130
00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:47,499
No, I mean, screwed up on
top of the regular screwed up.
131
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:48,859
I mean, why can't I make a decision?
132
00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:50,599
Well, we're in your mind right now,
133
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,169
so the answer has to be here somewhere.
134
00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,699
Oh, I remember this!
135
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:57,009
Okay, it's when that
bleached asshole pushed me
136
00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,910
and bleached mine. Look! Look!
137
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:03,849
Hey, it glitched and skipped
over Joker pushing me.
138
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,579
Wha... It did it again.
Did you see that?
139
00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:06,849
Whoa, that's weird.
140
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:08,619
It's like a piece of
your memory is missing.
141
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:11,989
Ive, this is my origin
story. It says so right here.
142
00:06:11,990 --> 00:06:14,789
Look, your origin story's
how you become who you are.
143
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,089
If it's screwed up, no surprise I am.
144
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:18,190
Ugh, let me see this.
145
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,859
Reboot time.
146
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,699
Um, I, uh, I wouldn't do that.
147
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,169
I wouldn't... Oh!
148
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,509
No one listens to me!
149
00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:32,209
Who touched something? Who did it?
150
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:34,979
Was I not clear about the stripper rule?
151
00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:36,679
I was just trying to touch myself!
152
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,149
That is a stripper rule.
153
00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:40,719
You triggered a brain lockdown.
154
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,819
We need to get out of here before...
155
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,789
Ah! Before that happens.
Now we're trapped.
156
00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:48,119
Now, this apartment's a beaut.
157
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,729
It's got a lot of light.
Perfect place for a fami...
158
00:06:51,730 --> 00:06:53,759
Jesus Christ!
159
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,186
All right, the place isn't ready.
160
00:06:55,187 --> 00:06:56,629
You'll come back tomorrow. Tomorrow.
161
00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:59,039
Why aren't you moving?
Tomorrow, get out. Get out!
162
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,570
You forgot the baby!
163
00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:05,893
All right, let's see now. Let's see.
164
00:07:05,894 --> 00:07:09,079
Why do they print the numbers so small?
165
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,550
Black Mamba, this is
Gerbil, it happened again.
166
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:17,749
No, no, no, no. The fuck?
Are we trapped in here?
167
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,219
You need to tell me right
now if we're trapped in here!
168
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:20,919
'Cause I'm gonna freak the fuck out!
169
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,289
What's gonna happen to my plants, man?
170
00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:23,989
Girl, we need to get you friends.
171
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:26,199
"Oh, we wanna come with you.
172
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,229
We're afraid you're
gonna mind molest her!"
173
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:31,899
Now who's the mind molesters? You!
174
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,169
You are the mind molesters!
175
00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:37,739
Ooh, are you lost, little girl?
176
00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:39,909
No need for tears, munchkin.
177
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:41,279
I'll help you find your way.
178
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:45,679
Ow! Oh! Oh! Get off me! Oh, stop!
179
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,880
This little child is killing me!
180
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,819
Why did that sweet little you attack me?
181
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,989
Oh, yeah, I wasn't sweet at
that age. Or any age, really,
182
00:07:55,990 --> 00:07:58,029
but I was a total shit back then.
183
00:07:58,030 --> 00:08:00,599
Which is why the brain sent it.
184
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,199
It thinks we're intruders.
185
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,139
And yes, if we die in Harley's mind,
186
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:06,999
we die in real life!
187
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,310
Ooh, Nightmare on Elm Street rules.
188
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,079
Do you have any insights
on what we should do here?
189
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,279
- Run!
- Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
190
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,720
Exit with alacrity.
191
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:31,890
Harleys, this is Harley, stop!
192
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,909
God, I hate brain physics.
193
00:08:43,910 --> 00:08:46,210
Hey, quit it and I'll tell you
where Mom hides the makeup.
194
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,159
Damn it. I was sure that was gonna work.
195
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,049
Come on. Stop fucking
around and follow me.
196
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:54,379
We got an elevator.
197
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:03,789
You know, in a way, it's
almost, like, comforting to know
198
00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:05,659
that you've always been this fucked up.
199
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,448
Yeah, isn't it? You know,
I'm starting to realize
200
00:09:07,449 --> 00:09:09,743
why my mother recycled
so many wine bottles back then.
201
00:09:09,744 --> 00:09:12,269
Fun as this has been, let's get
the fuck out of here, all right?
202
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:13,643
There should be an emergency exit
203
00:09:13,644 --> 00:09:15,839
to the real world in Harley's
subconscious somewhere,
204
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,669
which I think is this button
205
00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:19,279
right here.
206
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:30,889
Okay, your stupid fin hit
the wrong button, dummy.
207
00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:32,760
Do not fin shame me.
208
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:41,429
He must have hit the
button to the optic nerve.
209
00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:44,169
Ooh, looking through
the eyes of another.
210
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,169
Now it appears we're playing by
211
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,339
Being John Malcovich rules.
212
00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:50,314
Another suicide cult.
213
00:09:50,315 --> 00:09:53,409
If word gets out, I'll never be able
to rent this fakakta apartment.
214
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:54,909
So let's make sure it doesn't.
215
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,209
Where's the bleach and the bone saw?
216
00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,279
No, no time for that.
217
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,319
And I'm not paying to
re-carpet this place.
218
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,389
- So we call our explosives guy.
- He exploded.
219
00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:07,989
Well, I guess eventually,
the worms will get us all.
220
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:09,459
- Oy.
- Jesus.
221
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:12,459
Why not burn down the place
and take the insurance?
222
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:14,899
A little Jewish lightning
never hurt anyone.
223
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:17,069
A fire! Brilliant!
224
00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:20,039
We'll burn the bodies in
this old furnace I own!
225
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,439
Oh, yes!
226
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,109
There's the Sy who armed
Bin Laden in the '80s.
227
00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:26,069
Let's do this.
228
00:10:26,070 --> 00:10:28,839
Close slutty Casper's eyes, will ya?
229
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,409
Feels like she's watching me.
230
00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:32,249
Sure thing, baby.
231
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:36,349
I can't believe Sy
used to be like a spy.
232
00:10:36,350 --> 00:10:37,689
- He's so...
- Gross.
233
00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:39,189
- You're looking for gross.
- Yeah, that's it.
234
00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:40,519
What's "Jewish Lightning"?
235
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,059
Perhaps Black Lightning's
Israeli cousin.
236
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:46,299
Excuse me! But am I
the only one who heard
237
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,099
that they're gonna
burn our fucking bodies?
238
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:52,100
So, stop yapping and do something!
239
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:02,379
Harley,
240
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,949
welcome to your subconscious.
241
00:11:04,950 --> 00:11:07,319
- Step right.
- Guess your Wi-Fi password.
242
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,402
- Wack-an-insecurity.
- Try your hand at a game.
243
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,119
Take your chance. Step right up.
244
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,959
Ugh, are you shitting me?
245
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,289
So I'm gonna go out on a limb
246
00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:17,029
and say you're not
over your ex-boyfriend.
247
00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:18,859
I mean, are you sure that this glitch
248
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:20,562
is just in your origin story?
249
00:11:20,563 --> 00:11:23,329
Yes, you, young lady,
250
00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:24,799
the one with the smeared lipstick
251
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,339
who is still clearly obsessed with me.
252
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,569
Try your luck at a game of skill?
253
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:31,439
Win Daddy's Love!
254
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,379
Yeah, don't bother with that one.
255
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:35,309
Oh, I know it's rigged.
256
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,979
Come on! Everybody, spread out
257
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:40,319
and just look for the
emergency exit, all right?
258
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,589
Come on!
259
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:29,629
We are trapped! What I wouldn't give
260
00:12:29,630 --> 00:12:32,030
for a deus ex machina right now!
261
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:37,239
Follow me. I know the way.
262
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,509
Sorry, you didn't get that
machina you were talking about.
263
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,079
But at least, that guy showed up
264
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,279
out of nowhere to save us for no reason.
265
00:12:52,950 --> 00:12:56,329
Hey, hey, this is it!
Thank you for helping us...
266
00:12:56,330 --> 00:12:59,559
whoever the fuck you are.
267
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,399
Oh, my God! It's 11-year
old Frankie Muniz!
268
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,629
Hi, Harley.
269
00:13:03,630 --> 00:13:06,169
He knows my name. I could die!
270
00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:07,439
Yeah, this isn't creepy.
271
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,939
No, it's not like that at all.
272
00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:11,369
Yeah, you know, I had a major
crush on him when I was a kid.
273
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,379
Well, I guess that's different.
274
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:16,039
Yeah, you know, I was planning
to kidnap him, marry him.
275
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,679
Then once we hit puberty,
I was gonna tell him that
276
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,023
I was taking birth control,
but then, like, not take it,
277
00:13:20,024 --> 00:13:22,289
- and I get pregnant with his kid!
- Mmm-hmm.
278
00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:24,389
- And back to creepy.
- Yeah, I know what's going on here.
279
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,489
He was Harley's truest love.
280
00:13:26,490 --> 00:13:29,189
So, some small, sane
part of her brain sent
281
00:13:29,190 --> 00:13:30,847
her a vision of him to help us.
282
00:13:30,848 --> 00:13:32,629
That's right. Good luck, Harley.
283
00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:34,999
BTW, all those times you stared at
284
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,269
my poster in your bedroom,
I was staring back.
285
00:13:37,270 --> 00:13:38,900
- I knew it!
- Take care.
286
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,649
Let's go.
287
00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:42,869
There's two geriatrics
trying to burn our bodies
288
00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:44,170
before NCIS comes on.
289
00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:47,309
You know, I forgot how much fun
290
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:50,049
moving and then
destroying dead bodies is.
291
00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:51,579
Nothing gets the heart racing
292
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,749
like one that's stopped completely.
293
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,749
Ah, Golda.
294
00:13:57,750 --> 00:14:01,089
Do you ever regret not
having spy kids together?
295
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:04,689
Nah. I have normal kids
and normal grandkids.
296
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:06,892
I lead a normal life now, Sy.
297
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:09,469
Ah, well, what if it's not too late?
298
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:12,369
Eh? I still have my license to kill.
299
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:14,139
That's your AARP card.
300
00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:17,409
Oh! Yeah, well, the kill
thing is in here somewhere.
301
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:19,139
I may be old, Golda,
302
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:21,679
but there's nothing I can't handle.
303
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,649
Well, the neighborhood kids
304
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:29,219
don't call me Old Scary
Machine Man for nothing.
305
00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:32,289
Now, there's a monster for you.
306
00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:35,660
Come on, get that piece of rust working.
307
00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:38,529
Booyah!
308
00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:40,399
Up! Up! And...
309
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,059
Hey, I'm out of diesel.
310
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:47,099
Come on, come on.
311
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,669
They're probably heating
up the furnace right now.
312
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:52,019
- Is that...
- Repressed Memory Island? Yeah.
313
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,739
That's where you keep all
your screwed-up memories.
314
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:56,579
Trust me, you do not want
to go anywhere near it.
315
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:58,779
Ive, remember the glitch
in my origins story?
316
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:00,119
Oh, so you think it's like
317
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,479
a repressed memory or something?
318
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,289
Right. And it's on that island.
319
00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:04,639
Oh, then we gotta go.
320
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,359
And what did I just say
about going to that island?
321
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,956
We are all going to be burned to death
322
00:15:08,957 --> 00:15:11,189
if we don't leave your mind right now!
323
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:13,429
Okay, fine. Then you
go. I'm not leaving.
324
00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:15,129
In the real world I'm still catatonic,
325
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:16,499
drooling all over myself.
326
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,569
Okay, she made her choice. Let's go.
327
00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,499
- I'm going with Harley.
- Of course you are.
328
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,769
She's your only friend.
329
00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:23,609
That's true. But that's by design,
330
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:26,039
because she's the only human
being I think is worth a shit.
331
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,009
Hey, Clayface, how many acting jobs
332
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,709
did you get before Harley gave you one?
333
00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,279
Well, I filled in for the dog
334
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,219
that played Air Bud,
when he was run over
335
00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:37,619
by me the second to the
last day of shooting.
336
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,219
- You know what? I'm in.
- And, Psycho,
337
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:40,519
who took you in when literally,
338
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,189
the worst people on the
planet turned you away?
339
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:43,959
Fine! I'm in.
340
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,043
And, King Shark,
341
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,059
- let's all remember the time...
- I'm in!
342
00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,459
Oh, thank God, 'cause I had nothing.
343
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,399
All right, Doctor, help your patient.
344
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,369
All right, all right,
all right, I got a plan.
345
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:55,410
We'll have fun! Hey, come play with us.
346
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:02,850
We'll have fun.
347
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:04,819
Come play with us.
348
00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:07,549
If I go down, I'm taking
all you little shits with me!
349
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:11,349
Whoa!
350
00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:13,213
That was not the plan!
351
00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:15,719
- We got your back, Harls.
- Oh, you guys.
352
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,239
We might be fucked.
353
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,709
You guys totally should have left.
354
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:32,569
Harley Quinn,
355
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:36,209
it has been the utmost pleasure
to serve in your company.
356
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:38,179
Clayface, no!
357
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:39,479
I love you, Frankie.
358
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:40,579
Give me babies!
359
00:16:41,890 --> 00:16:46,911
Well, hello, it is I, Frankie Muniz!
360
00:16:46,912 --> 00:16:48,589
I love you, Frankie.
361
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:51,689
Ah, screw this.
362
00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:54,290
Now, how the hell are we
gonna get to that island?
363
00:16:57,070 --> 00:16:58,200
I cannot believe this.
364
00:16:58,201 --> 00:17:01,469
I mean, it is just the most
unlikely set of circumstances
365
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:05,479
that would put me about
70% shark, in a situation
366
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,209
that pretty much demands
a mostly shark man.
367
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:09,909
Oh, we made it!
368
00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:13,420
Is it me, or is it getting
kind of warm around here?
369
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:18,519
Sy, the fire's good and hot.
370
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:22,189
Then what are we waiting
for! Let's get to cremating!
371
00:17:22,190 --> 00:17:23,359
Cremate!
372
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,429
♪ Crem-ing in the at-ing ♪
373
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,299
♪ And we're at-ing in the crem-ing ♪
374
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,530
♪ We''re going in the fire ♪
375
00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:33,569
Why does it look like Arkham?
376
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:36,509
Because your sick brain is
trying to lock up memories
377
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:39,369
so vile that you repress
them, so do not look...
378
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:41,709
Okay, why do I even try?
379
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:44,214
When's Daddy done with
his business meeting?
380
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:52,649
That's enough.
381
00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:54,959
"If you violate the
restraining order again,
382
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,829
Mr. Muniz will take legal action".
383
00:17:57,830 --> 00:18:00,559
Muah! See ya soon, Frankie.
384
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,529
So that's why I went to juvie.
385
00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:16,479
Here we are, puddin'.
Dive in as Harleen Quinzel,
386
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,549
and rise as Harley Quinn!
387
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:21,619
My beautiful creation.
388
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:24,349
Okay, look, here it comes.
Here's when that piece of shit
389
00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:25,549
pushes me in he acid.
390
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:28,559
If you love me, then jump!
391
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,529
And you'll be mine forever.
392
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:33,330
A dream come true, puddin'.
393
00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:36,230
Wait! No!
394
00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:40,969
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you okay?
395
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,909
This whole time I thought he pushed me.
396
00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:45,439
That it wasn't my choice.
397
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,979
But it... it was.
398
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:50,479
Whoa, so you told yourself
it was out of your control?
399
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,779
Yeah, because it was easier
400
00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,579
to blame him than accept the truth.
401
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,619
And the truth being, what, exactly?
402
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:57,919
That it was always my choice.
403
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,920
That I was in control all along.
404
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,619
And I still am.
405
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:05,029
If you love me, then jump.
406
00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:08,999
And you'll be mine forever.
407
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,629
- Hard pass.
- Wha... what?
408
00:19:10,630 --> 00:19:12,069
I said no, idiot.
409
00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:14,569
But you have to jump,
you can't change this.
410
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,509
I mean, it's already happened.
It's your origin story!
411
00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:19,569
Wrong. It's not my origin story.
412
00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:21,339
My real origin story didn't happen here.
413
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:23,809
It happened in your lair.
414
00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:25,849
Uh, I wasn't wearing this costume.
415
00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:27,079
And believe me,
416
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,079
I wasn't saying you
were a dream come true.
417
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,119
I was saying, "Go fuck yourself!"
418
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,689
Harley, stop this nonsense. I...
419
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:36,359
I know you think you
created me, but no one did!
420
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,529
My fucked-up parents
didn't make me the way I am.
421
00:19:38,530 --> 00:19:40,250
Neither did Jessica Sarner
422
00:19:40,251 --> 00:19:41,659
when she fucking lied to the whole camp
423
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:44,369
and said I lost my virginity to a horse!
424
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,769
A horse!
425
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,739
Or, those cops who
questioned me for hours
426
00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,669
about what happened to Jessica Sarner.
427
00:19:49,670 --> 00:19:51,039
And you sure as hell
428
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,539
didn't fucking create me, puddin'.
429
00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:54,009
Yeah? Well, I named you.
430
00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:56,979
You got Harley Quinn
out of Harleen Quinzel?
431
00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:58,679
Nice work, genius!
432
00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:03,719
You didn't make me,
Joker. I made myself.
433
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,959
But you can't change your memories!
434
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,759
This isn't Eternal Sunshine rules.
435
00:20:12,730 --> 00:20:15,500
My mind. My rules.
436
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,009
Sanity restored.
437
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:26,339
Kinda. Thanks, gang.
I owe you everything.
438
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:28,279
Has anyone seen Clayface?
439
00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:32,679
No! Because her little
psycho shits killed him!
440
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,649
Did not!
441
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,489
Apologies for the disguise.
442
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:40,489
I had to "go native" to
thwart Harley's younger demons.
443
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:43,089
Oh, we're just glad you're alive.
444
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:46,159
Thank you, frie... Oh, I'm getting hard!
445
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,829
Please!
446
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,599
My phallus is not erect. It's my leg.
447
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,939
Oh, no, he's in the furnace!
448
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,670
Aah! Come on! Come on! To the exit, now!
449
00:20:57,570 --> 00:20:59,879
And a one and a two...
450
00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:04,509
They're still alive. Damn it, Sy.
451
00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:07,619
This is Peru all over
again. I'm outta here.
452
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:09,849
What do you mean, "Outta here"?
Where're ya going? Where're ya going?
453
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,119
- I'm done with this shit.
- Don't be done.
454
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,819
We're in the middle of a thing.
455
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:15,459
- No, I'm at the end.
- You were always a quitter!
456
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:17,459
Oh, and you tried to kill us.
457
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:20,529
Nonsense! What are
you... What are you doing?
458
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,799
You looked cold.
459
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,129
So I did what any good citizen would do.
460
00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:26,199
I brought you to a dead mall
461
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,899
and heated you up in
an abandoned pizza oven.
462
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,669
You're welcome. We're done here.
463
00:21:30,670 --> 00:21:33,509
This is it. Guys, we found it.
464
00:21:33,510 --> 00:21:34,979
What? Like hepatitis?
465
00:21:34,980 --> 00:21:36,749
No, our new lair.
466
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,219
Look, it doesn't matter what it is.
467
00:21:38,220 --> 00:21:39,879
'Cause the lair doesn't define us.
468
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,789
We define the lair.
469
00:21:41,790 --> 00:21:45,589
Uh-huh. Can we define a
different one? This one's gross.
470
00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:47,919
No, this one's free.
471
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,659
The hell it is.
472
00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:52,167
This premium shopping destination
473
00:21:52,168 --> 00:21:54,629
runs 100 grand a month.
474
00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:57,629
I'm offering a dollar. And
I won't kill you right now
475
00:21:57,630 --> 00:21:59,369
for trying to burn us alive.
476
00:21:59,370 --> 00:22:01,739
Deal. On one condition.
477
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:04,769
You let me come along
on some of your heists.
478
00:22:04,770 --> 00:22:08,839
Lugging around your dead
husks made me feel alive again.
479
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,479
I want back in the game, baby!
480
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,019
Well, you did manage to carry
481
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,879
six bodies to a pizza oven.
I mean, that's not nothing.
482
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,819
- Deal.
- Hey!
483
00:22:17,820 --> 00:22:20,056
- Oh!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry.
484
00:22:20,057 --> 00:22:21,659
It happens all the time.
485
00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:23,629
Anyone have a Philips head?
36044
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