All language subtitles for Gym Teacher The Movie (2008) English

Hey, welcome back to Sploopers.

Big top 10 bloopers sports countdown.
Watch out, hey.

Number two: Baseball.
Wow, bats, balls, players.

Here we go. Dugout. Peanuts.
Watch out. Look out. It's...

Number two.

Oh, my... Oh, my...

Right in the resin bag.
Oh, right in the edamame, yep.

All right, number one. Here we go,
what we've all been waiting for.

American gymnast, Dave Stewie,
going for the gold.

Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!

Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!

No medal that year,
never been heard from again.

Dave Stewie, where are you now?

Hi, Mr. Stewie.
- Hey.

Hey, Mr. Stewie. How you doing?

Okay, let's go. Give it to Champ.
Move your feet, move your feet.

Okay, defense, heads up.

Heads up.

Move your feet, reach out. Hold that.

Down low. Who's good?
- Over here!

My house.

Yup, next period.

Class is over already?
- Man, it can't be.

Come on, Mr. Stewie,
five more minutes.

You wanna be late to your next class?
- It's just math.

I hear that, Derek. But is it my fault
I teach the only class that's fun here?

Come on, off with the jerseys.
You've got numbers to triangulate...

or whatever it is they teach you
in math these days. Come on, hustle.

There's more to life
than just shooting basketballs all day.

Oh, beware the bean, Bob.

It'll explode the old
ticker, just like that.

You kidding me? It's the only way
I keep my edge over those miscreants.

Turn your back,
they'd swarm on you like locusts.

Bob, kids follow leadership.
Gotta build respect, takes time.

Yeah, well, I don't have any more time.
They suck me dry like vampires.

You know, you're not fooling anybody.
You're no different than us.

I bet you're this close to giving up.

I'm a gym teacher, Bob.
Quitting isn't in my vocabulary.

Dave.
- Principal Hoffman.

Abby. Are those new shorts?

No.
- Really? They seem so fitted.

Not that you don't usually wear
fitted shorts...

but they just seem exceptionally fit.

Thank you.
- Oh, Dave.

Did you get my memo about
the square dancing requirement?

Yeah, I gotta say, dancing,
not really physical education.

Could not agree with you more.

I'll trust your animal instincts, Dave.
Animal.

But the board of ed tends to differ.

Why don't I drop by, you and I do
a demonstration for the kids.

I would love nothing more
than to have you box my gnat.

I'll try to get to it
this marking period.

Make sure you do-si do.

He can do a Chinese split.

Street shoes.

Didn't I already have you in class?
- We're supposed to be in science.

Yeah, but how many frogs can you dissect?

Hey, what are you kids trying to do
around here, get me in trouble?

One game of dodge ball.
- Yeah.

Are we your favorite class?
- You bet you are.

And you know why? Because
there's not a loser among you.

Well, what about Derek?

Hey. Now clearly,
Derek is no brain trust.

He's proven that to me
beyond my satisfaction.

And let's face it, hey...

wouldn't wanna meet him
in a dark anywhere.

But what's important here
is Derek is no spaz.

And trust me, I'm a gym teacher,
if there's one thing I know...

I can always spot a spaz.

Three schools in two years.
Are you an agitator, Roland?

I don't like agitators in this school.
They agitate me.

You understand what I'm saying?
They agitate me.

I try to fit in.

Oh, my good Lord.
I think I'm losing my hearing.

Maybe I should see the health teacher
and get my ears checked.

I try to fit in.

Let me tell you,
I can't put up with any shenanigans.

I'm too old for it,
I'm not dressed for it.

You understand me?

What's up with that helmet?

Well, my mom likes me to wear it
when I take gym.

I think it's weird. Are you a weirdo?

I try not to be.

You're not a freak? You're not a nut?
I'm allergic to nuts.

Don't ever bring me nuts,
you understand me?

Welcome to Hamm Lake.

I'm watching you.

Good one, good one.

Hey, remember, Champ,
bend like wind.

What the heck?
- Did it sting?

Tagged by a girl.

Sorry, Morgan. Resume play.

You okay, Mr. Stewie?
- Fine.

Nothing to see here. Just go back
to hitting each other with balls.

Hi. I hate to interrupt.

Would you mind
giving that green button a bit of a tap?

Okay.

That will straighten you out.

I'm the new English teacher,
taking over Miss Tiffy's classes,

Winnie Bleeker.
- I bet you unfurl a mean ribbon.

Excuse me?

Hello.

Hi, I wanted to talk to you about...
- Dave Stewie!

I've got something for you,
Dave Stewie.

Am I interrupting?

No.
- Don't you have history class to teach?

English.
- What word did you not understand?

No, I teach English.
- Then why aren't you teaching it?

Dave, wait till you see this.

Is there a reason you dragged a TV
across my gym floor?

The president's
gonna make an announcement.

Hello, fitness instructors of America.

Obesity among children
is the main problem...

our administration
is going to tackle this year.

That is why I have created...

the National
Gym Teacher of the Year Award...

to recognize all the men and women...

who work hard every day to get
our nation's children into shape.

Each year,
we'll chose a different grade.

This year, it's the eighth grade.

Everyone will participate,
no exceptions.

And the gym teacher that drives...

their class across the
finish line first...

will get a $ 10,000 check
for their school, a huge trophy...

and best of all, they'll get their face
on a box of Wheaties.

So good luck, gym teachers.

All of America is watching.

The spotlight's on you.
You better not blow it.

God bless America.

We should start practicing now.
- Let's take it easy.

I knew if I hung around this school
something good would happen.

Slow down, man.
- We're gonna kill Burberry Prep.

Sportsmanship, Champ,
part of your grade.

Can I talk to you in the hall, please?
Squat thrusts, 1000, now.

Yeah.
- Yes.

Dave, what's going on?
You don't look so well.

I'm talking about your face,
the rest of you...

Soccer balls. Abby, stay focused.

I don't think
we should enter this contest.

You're the best gym teacher...

It's not about me, it's about those kids.
I don't wanna build up their hopes...

just to have them
come crashing down if we don't win.

Are you talking about them, or you?

Is there a difference?
- I don't know.

Everybody tells me
what a great gym teacher I am.

But sometimes I think I don't deserve
to be calling myself a gym teacher.

Gosh, I can't imagine you with a job
where you had to wear pants.

Come on, Dave,
everything is gonna be fine.

Okay, just imagine,
you know, picture the big crowds...

and the TV cameras
all chanting your name.

'Dave Stewie! Dave Stewie!'
It will be just like the old days.

Go, Dave Stewie! Go, Dave Stewie!

You want another one?
- Make it a double.

What, two bananas?

Whatever.
Put a kumquat in for all I care.

Well, if it's not the future
Gym Teacher of the Year.

Yeah, right.
- What's the matter, Dave?

I'm worried about the contest.

Oh, please. Pound for pound, you're
the best gym teacher I've ever seen.

Well, yeah, right, Alice.
What do I know about winning?

You were an Olympic athlete.
- We all know how that turned out.

Well, this is your chance
to turn it around.

Let's hear it for Dave Stewie...

the president's first annual
Gym Teacher of the Year.

Come on, guys.

Dave Stewie,
Gym Teacher of the Year.

Well, that is...

I'm sorry,
I thought I was going to choke.

But I guess that's what you do,
isn't it, Choker?

What do you want, Bragg?

Wheat grass.

Let me tell you something, Chokey.

I'm gonna win this one for Burberry Prep.

And I'm gonna win it
just so that you don't.

Because you are a disgrace.

It sickens me that you're even allowed
around children.

Hold him, hold him, hold him.
Bye-bye.

I'll see you around, Chokey.

His final vault here.
Dave Stewie, the American...

heart, determination
and gorgeous hair...

has to better a 9.4.

He needs just to stick one here
and claim the gold.

Dave Stewie,
about to make history here in Seoul.

An inspiration to anyone
who has had the courage to dream.

Poised now before his final vault.
A crowd favorite going for the gold.

Now, here is his approach.

He has good speed, good balance,
focus, determination.

Yes, that's...
Oh, the humanity, the horror.

At one time, destined
to be the face on a cereal box...

now the highlight
of late-night blooper shows.

Tear up your history books, folks,
and go live in a cave.

The tragedy
of what I have just witnessed...

will haunt me forever.
Let's watch it again.

Hey.
- Hey.

Want some?

What is it?
- I found it in my backpack.

I think it's meat.

Hey, new kid, what's with your head?
- Are you talking to me?

No, I'm talking to the other moron
with a spaceship on his skull.

Oh, no, it's a safety helmet.

I just outfitted it, so that it looks
like the Ziggurat battle trooper.

Safety helmet, huh?

What are you protecting your head from?

Oh, you know,
just bangs and bumps.

What about flying metal objects?

Yeah.

Mind if I sit down?

Yeah, sure.

How's your head?

You know, it's ringing a bit.

Good thing you had that helmet on.
- Yeah.

I'm Suzie.
- Roland.

Hey, it's the Burberry bus.

Hey, Hamm hock. We'll see you
at the gym-teacher contest.

You'll get yours, Booberry.
I totally burnt that guy.

Jokers.

Are you okay, Mr. Stewie?
- All right...

touch your toes or your ankles
or some other part of your legs.

Shouldn't we be practicing
for the Gym Teacher of the Year...?

No, because we're not entering.

How about less flapping of the holes
and more slapping of the toes?

Oh, come on, Stewbags,
we have to go.

Yeah.
- Come on, Mr. Stewie.

You're not even giving us a chance.
- Hey, what is it with you people?

Can't your ears hear
what my mouth is saying?

Sure, you'll work hard,
you'll get your hopes up...

and just when the world
is within our grasp...

we'll face-plant our dreams
against the side of a vaulting horse.

Maybe you're just protecting yourself.

How dare you try
to derail my emotional rant with logic.

Look, Mr. Stewie, we don't care
about what happened in the past.

I mean, you are the best gym teacher
that we've ever had.

Right.
- Yeah.

Come on, man.
- What do you say, Mr. Stewie?

Pretty please?

You wanna know what I say?

What do I say?

You crazy, stupid kids.

You wanna beat up
on those losers at Burberry?

Yeah.

You ready to work harder
than you've ever worked before?

Well, then cinch up those jockstraps
and tighten up the training bras...

because we are entering
the Gym Teacher of the Year contest...

and we will rock that house.

Qualifying round is in two weeks.
Hit the ropes.

All right, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Come on.

What are you?

'Roland Waffle.'

'Transfer from Dover Middle.'

And what is that we have on our head?

It's an exact replica
of the Galmerian space helmet?

You can't be wearing it in my class.

It's not regulation
for any sports that I know of.

But my mom says I have to wear it.
- Let's have the helmet.

Nothing to fear here, Mr. Waffle.

We don't do anything in class
that causes any head injuries.

I'm not very good at gym.

What are your strengths?
- Geometry.

Why don't we start with sit-ups, 50.

Wear this for the first few days.
- Thank you.

Coach, this loser's not coming with us
to the competition, is he?

We'll get laughed out of the gym.

All right,
I have to run out for one moment.

I want the rest of you
to give me a few laps.

Yes!

My goodness.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah,
just checking for door drafts.

Gotta protect the health of the kids
during flu season.

Isn't this gym period?

Yes, it is.

Now that this draft situation
is under control...

I should get back to my class
before they pull a muscle.

Mr. Stewie,
there is something I'd like to...

Well, I don't know if I'm running
a middle school or a cocktail party.

You two can't seem
to keep your hands off each other.

Door draft.

Abby, I wanted to talk to you...
- Principal Hoffman.

Principal Hoffman, I wanted
to discuss with you this new student.

'Roland Waffle.' Okay, I'll start.
I've decided to take your advice...

and enter the
Gym Teacher of the Year competition.

I don't think he should compete...
- The rules simply state...

that every student in your
eighth-grade class must compete.

I know, I couldn't agree with you more.
But see the...

I was hoping that maybe
we could bend the rules a little bit.

Hope again.
- I'm sorry?

I'll try to say this
in the plainest English I know. No.

No?
- Lf you have a problem...

with comprehension,
go ask the woman you were pawing.

She teaches English, doesn't she?

Why don't you stand up straight?
You look pathetic.

Hey, guys, come on.
Okay, very funny.

Someone wanna explain this game
to me? I don't recognize it.

You okay?
- I've been better.

Derek, Champ,
I'll give you 10 seconds to untie him.

What is the matter with you people?

Go on, get to your next class.

Now!

How you feeling?
- I think my head's gonna pop.

You'll be fine. Shake it off. Okay.

So, Mr. Waffle...

it would seem that destiny
has chosen our paths to collide here.

As of now, you are a member
of Hamm Lake Fitness Team.

But...

No buts.

Now, considering our time crunch,
we gotta get you in shape pronto.

So why don't we start
with the climbing rope.

Now come, Mr. Waffle.

It's a simple twisted fiber
stretching nearly 30 feet into the sky.

Nothing to be afraid of.

Give it a shot.

Faith, my boy, faith.

Go to your next class, Mr. Waffle.

Hello, Roland.
- Hey.

So how's your second day going?

You know,
just trying to get my bearings.

Whoa, I love your backpack.
Did you draw that yourself?

Yeah. It's supposed to be
an intergalactic space trekker.

It's so cool.
- Thank you.

Can I tell you something?
- Yeah, sure.

Well, I think you're really cute.

Thanks.

I really think there might be
something wrong with this kid.

He can't do one pushup.
- Not even a girly one?

Do you have any idea what this kid's
score is gonna do to my average?

I'll be laughed out of the competition.
- Not if he gets kicked out of school.

Excuse me?

Darkburger is the name.
Mr. Darkburger.

I used to teach
over at Grover Cleveland Elementary.

Till they tossed me out.
- Why'd they do that?

I added the noble sport of cockfighting
to the curriculum...

and they called it gross negligence.

Anyway, I had a similar problem.

I had a kid in my class who just
wouldn't get with the program.

You know what I mean?
- Not really.

So I did what I had to do.
- What did you have to do?

I got him expelled.
- Expelled?

How'd you do that?
- It was easy.

I just put these in his locker.

Are those pirated movies?
- That's right.

I got all the latest releases.
I download them.

Anyway, a couple of these
show up in a kid's locker...

enough to show clear intent to sell...

and getting expelled
will be the least of his problems.

Thank you, Mr. Darkburger.
That's very helpful.

But Dave is a gym teacher.

He doesn't resort
to those kind of tactics. Right, Dave?

Yes. Of course not.

I'm a gym teacher.
I'm a gym teacher.

Suit yourself, sport.

But if you change your mind...

I work at the Flip a Frog
down on the boardwalk.

Just ask for a Triple Tadpole ticket.

That guy's weird.
- You think?

Cuckoo.

Don't even think about it.
You can't do it.

What are you talking about?
You have to do it, you have no choice.

The kid's gonna cost you the award.

Bruce.

You've gotten the gold.
You've broken world records.

Got great hair.

Tell me, what should I do?

So silent, so mysterious.

I don't know.

Dave, you can't do it.

He's just a child.
It will ruin his life forever.

You know, Dave,
I have to agree with him.

It feels a little creepy.

What do you guys know?

Hey, hey, flip a frog.

Hey, flip a frog,
win the lady a prize, only $2.

Flip a frog.

One Triple Tadpole ticket, please.

Juice boxes.
All that sugar. No wonder.

Soccer balls.
- Mr. Stewie.

Miss Bleeker.
- I've been hoping to catch you.

I wanted to talk to you about...
- Now is not a good time.

You're right. Certain people do seem
to be getting the wrong idea about us.

It's sticky.
- Sticky?

A sticky situation.
You and I talking alone in the hallway.

I'm sure both of us don't want...
- Running down my leg.

Excuse me?

We should run out and get a bite to eat.

To discuss whatever it is
you need to discuss.

Okay. Tonight?
- Yes. Sounds urgent.

Why wait until it's in the sneaker.
It's in the sneaker now.

Yeah. I'm sorry.
Are we having the same conversation?

Yup. Dinner tonight. Be there.

Okay. Good, I guess.
Thank you, Mr. Stewie.

Hey.
- Hey.

Why aren't you taking the bus?
- I don't know.

You know,
you don't have to worry about Derek.

I know he's like 5 years older than us,
but he's clinically childlike.

I'm not worried about Derek.
- Really?

And why are you not on the bus?

Because... Well, let's say...

it's a much easier target
for the Galmerians...

and their ion-based tracking device.

That's crazy.
- Is it?

Yeah. I mean,
the large yellow surface of the bus...

would cause
cascading binary light switches...

that would confuse
the Galmerian coordinates.

How do you know that?

Issue 26. Battle Station Galmerian:
Attack From Beyond the Nebula 7.

You read that?
- More than once.

Yeah, that was a good one.
- Yeah.

Listen, I don't know
if you're not doing anything...

but do you wanna come over
to my house later?

I could show you my model
of the Treponian way station.

That sounds fun.
- Really?

No one else thinks so.

What? Hey, I did what I had to do.
I'm just glad I never have to see...

that bumbling misfit
ever again in my entire life.

Now scram. I got a date.

Hey, Mr. Stewie.

Roland.

What are you doing here?
- I live here.

Hey.

Do I seem flushed? I feel flushed.
- You seem fine.

Good. Okay. Let's go. I feel flushed.

I won't be out long.
Double lock the door.

All right, I will. Bye, guys. Have fun.

I never got the chance to tell you
Roland is my son.

No, you didn't.
I mean, I may have figured it out...

but you two don't have
the same last names.

Oh, yeah, he has his father's name.

I wanted him to at least be able
to hold on to that.

Good. That's great.
And where is Dad?

Oh, he passed away five years ago.

Fatherless too.

Is something the matter?
- Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.

It's all just such a shock, you know?

I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

Could we make a tiny little stop
before we hit the restaurant?

It's right on the way.
- Sure.

Okay. Great.

What were you thinking?
This isn't you.

This isn't what a gym teacher does.

Busted!

That's Roland Waffle's locker.
What are those?

Illegal DVDs, but...

Jesus. No, no. Watch my...
I wasn't putting them in.

I was taking them out.
- How did they get in there?

I put them in there.

Jeez, what is that thing?
- It's a Filipino fighting stick.

That smarts.
What are you doing here?

I'm the principal.
Why shouldn't I be here?

It's after school.
- I wasn't following you.

Are you following me?

I know what you and your lady friend
have been up to.

Look, Abby...

No, no, wait! Your eyes. Your eyes.

Your delicate, small,
rodent-like eyes.

I know what this is about, Abby. I do.
And I feel the same way.

But it never would have worked out
between us.

You, the principal.
Me, just a gym teacher.

I mean, we're from different worlds.

You're a good one.
I can't stay mad at you forever.

Go on, get out of here. Go on.

I wonder what
the wood-shop teacher's up to.

Everything okay?
- Oh, yeah.

I thought I'd left a kickball
dangerously over-inflated.

What happened to your face?

It turns out I did.

But that's all behind us now.

So why don't we
grab something nutritious to eat, huh?

Those are my rockets.

Impressive collection.
- Thanks.

So those are my rockets.

I saw them.

So...

What do you wanna do now?

Well, I don't know.

How about we get comfortable?

Okay.

Thanks for dinner. Do you always
have your food blended?

No, not always.
Occasionally, I chew.

Tell me about Roland.

Oh, he's such a special kid.
Wonderful imagination.

Not so coordinated.
I guess he takes after his father.

Bless his soul.

Do you mind me asking
how his father died?

He was killed during a picnic.
- Oh, that's so rare.

It was during the potato-sack race.

Well, that's an unusual way to go.
- Yeah. Sorry, it's just so senseless.

I mean, if a man can lose his life
hopping, is anything safe?

Hey, gym teacher. Did you nail
that namby-pamby little kid yet?

Do you know him?
- Nope.

Seems like he knows you.
- I don't think he does.

How'd he know you're a gym teacher?
- Must be my posture.

Do you remember what happened
at the end of issue 43?

'The Princess From the Mirror Galaxy.'

Oh, yeah. I love that one.

Commander Guerto
has to return the Venuvian princess...

to her own galaxy, she
can't breathe in the atmosphere.

So he puts her in that electro-pod
and then he surprises her with...

a kiss.

Getting back to Roland,
he's very delicate.

I don't like him taking any risks.
Simple calisthenics are fine...

but no team sports,
no contact sports...

nothing involving a ball,
and certainly no ropes.

I don't want him climbing them,
jumping them or swinging from them.

You can't shelter him forever.

I'd never forgive myself
if something happened to him.

And now that you're his gym coach,
well, I'd never forgive you.

So please, just promise me...

you'll bend the rules just a little
so that he can participate in gym...

without actually participating.

Winnie, can I be honest with you?

Since the day
I decided to become a gym teacher...

I've dedicated myself
to a strict code of ethics.

It's something I can't be swayed from.
- Please?

I'll do it.

Thank you, Dave.

This turned out to be a great date.

Date? This is a date?
- No.

I thought we were just meeting
as colleagues.

Yes. I meant the date.
The date, October 7th.

I do that a lot.
People always mistake it...

Yeah.
- I just... You know, because I'll say:

'I'm having a fine time on this date.'

And so they think that,
but I meant this.

Because I'm not ready to date.
- No.

No. No, no, no.

No.

Maybe I should drive you home
so we can get up tomorrow.

On tomorrow's date.
- Yeah.

Okay. Good.
- Okay.

Why don't we take the long way.
- Okay.

Does the atmosphere
feel thin in here to you?

Because it feels thin to me.

You know,
being a Venuvian princess and all.

Guess I'd better leave,
get in my pod.

Forever.

What do you think about that,
captain?

Commander.
- Whatever.

Good night, princess?

See how I maneuver the board
around the saw blade...

like a cat on a fence.
Still got all 10.

Hey, check that out.

That doesn't look like a bookend.
- That's because it's a Roland Waffle.

This is you now...

and this
is what you're gonna look like...

after the competition...

if you blow this for us.
Got it, dork?

That's just great. My one good eye.

Why don't I have goggles on?
Why don't I?

Dave Stewie.

Who wants to know?
- I do.

You a cop?
- Why would a cop be looking for you?

Mistaken identity?
- I know who you are.

Then you got me. I don't know
anything about pirated DVDs.

I'm a reporter from the Daily Tabloid.
- I knew that.

I'm doing a story about you and
the Gym Teacher of the Year contest.

Why me?
- Are you kidding?

This is one of the greatest
human-interest stories of the century.

It's got everything: A young athlete
poised for fame and fortune...

humiliating defeat,
20 years of humbling obscurity...

and finally a chance
to redeem himself.

Can he do it?
Can he rise to the challenge?

Or will he just blow it again
and shrivel back into oblivion...

dragging innocent schoolchildren
with him?

No comment.

Mr. Stewie?

Mr. Stewie?

Are you crying?
- No.

Gym teachers don't cry.
It's allergies.

What is it, Roland? Can't you see
that I'm busy having my life unravel?

Well, the class
has been giving me a hard time.

And I'm worried I'm gonna let them down.

Well, you don't have to worry
about that, because the dream is over.

Even I was able to summon
all my secret gym-teacher powers...

and magically de-spaz you,
I still couldn't do it.

Because I promised your mother
I wouldn't, so that's that.

No. I'm tired of being afraid.

I wanna compete.
I just wanna feel normal.

Look, I know that I make it seem...

like I wear this helmet
because my mom wants me to.

But I'm beginning to think that
I'm the one who's afraid to take it off.

Good speech, Roland,
but a promise is a promise.

But what if you trained me
and my mother didn't find out?

Me likey. Keep talking.

Well, we could meet after school.
I'll tell my mom that I joined a club.

And with your help,
I'll be just like all the other kids.

Okay, let's take it easy there,
Roland.

Why don't we strive for something
attainable, like less disturbed?

Welcome to gym.

Well, you and I will be meeting here
after school every day...

until your middle name
is no longer Spazatron.

Now, your mom thinks you're where?

Bird-calling club.
- She went for that?

She told me I'm not allowed to do hawks.

Perfect. We've got two days
until the qualifying round.

So we've got our work cut out of us,
don't we?

Why don't we start by getting and idea
of your athletic aptitude.

Well, should I try
to climb the rope first?

Why don't we start with something
a little less taxing, like, movement?

Give me a lap.
- Okay.

Wanna take off the helmet?
- I'd better keep it on for a while.

Right. On your mark, get set,
be normal.

How'd I do?

At least now we've got our baseline.

Okay, why don't we start
with the rope climb.

Maybe your first attempt
was an aberration.

Go at it.

Excellent.
Why don't we give you a head start.

One, two, three, up.

And great. You're doing great, Rolo.
Clutch and release.

Mr. Stewie?
- Yes, Roland.

My arms are beginning
to pull out of their sockets.

I know you're terrified, but the only
thing you have to fear is... Winnie.

Hey, wait...

Hi. What are you doing out here
right now?

Hey. Well, I just saw you stand...

Should that be hanging
where the kids have access?

That menace, I'm getting rid of it.
That's what I'm doing out here.

Well, I just saw you standing out here
and thought I'd come and say hello.

Hello.

Would you like to come to my house
for dinner on Friday night?

What?

Well, I got a new blender.

And I know how
you like your food mulched and...

No. See, that's not it.

I was just thinking that maybe
it would be okay if it were a date?

And not like a date on the calendar
date, but a 'date' date.

I'd like that very much.

What's that?
- What?

What? Raccoons.
- Raccoons?

Don't look them in the eye. They'll think
we're trash cans. I'm not a bad person.

Oh, I know that, Mr. Stewie.
Gosh, I know.

Okay, I will see you on Friday night.
- Yeah.

On our date.
- Our date.

On Friday's date.
- That's right.

Okay.

Roland. Roland. Roland.

Roland? Roland.

Did you hear? Friday night dinner.

I think I landed on a squirrel.
- Shake it off, shake it off.

I wanna quit.
- What? We're making great progress.

We are?
- No. But we've got two days to go.

Let's just keep going.
- No, I wanna quit.

You just pushed me into a bush.

I lost my head a little bit,
but from now on it's just you and...

Roland. Roland.

Okay. Gather round, gather round.

This is the first step on our way
to the national finals, huh?

We know we're the best.
This is ours to lose.

Why would we wanna lose?
- We don't wanna lose, Derek.

The point is, we'd actually
have to try to lose in order to lose.

Okay, why would we try to lose?
- Shut up, Derek.

Now, I want you to know that
I know you're gonna do your best...

and no matter what happens, I'm
proud of each and every one of you.

And me and Rolo, we've been
up late into the night working.

So I know that he's ready.
Right, Rolo?

Okay.
- Mr. Stewie, can you come with me?

Yeah. Stretch what's tight,
warm up what's cold.

Good luck.
- Thanks.

You better not blow this for us.
- All right? Don't screw it up.

I'll do my best.
- He's gonna do his best.

Big deal, man. Even Morgan
runs circles around you.

What's that supposed to mean,
chunkhead?

What?
- What you said.

I'm saying he's a boy, you're a girl...
- So?

Morgan, I was just saying, he's a...
- Just shut up, Derek.

Jeez, I was just saying...

Heard a lot about your program.
It's topnotch.

Thanks.

Hey, guys. How's it going?

Well, well, well,
if it isn't Shelly Bragg.

Look, why don't we just bury the
hatchet, huh? May the best man win.

The sight of you makes my butt itch.

Okay, I get it. Trying to get in my head
with a little friendly trash-talking.

I don't think you do get it,
Mr. Choky Chokerton.

I find your lifestyle offensive.

Now, I'm sure you can't wait
to shake your little patootie...

on top of the main float
in the loser parade.

But I'm gonna hit you
with everything I've got.

Now do you get it?

Sorry about that.
Welcome, gym teachers...

to the National
Gym Teacher of the Year state final.

Congratulations.
There's five activities.

Each one testing a different aspect
of physical fitness.

Every student has to compete and
nobody can compete in two events.

Got it? We'll be starting off
with the chin-up bar.

Then going on to the shuttle run,
tumbling, the calisthenics drill...

and then, of course,
my favorite, the rope.

Top three schools in the district
move on to the finals.

I'm excited. Are you guys excited?
Let's get started.

That's kind of awkward.

One, two, three!
- Burberry!

Rules are simple, go around
every cone and jump over the bars.

Tag your partners.
Fastest team wins.

Come on, Morgan.
You got it, you got it.

Come on! Come on, go, go!

Go, Burberry, go!

Come on, go, go!
- Come on!

Thirty-second limit on this one.

One point for each time
that your chin passes the bar.

Come on, Derek!
You can do it, come on!

Go Hamm Lake!

Let's go. Come on, let's do it.
- You can do it.

It's all yours.

Burberry!

Let's go.

All right, Hamm Lake,
let's go! Let's go!

Come on, Champ! Go, go!

Oh, man.

Hamm Lake Hams!

Burberry!

Okay, onto our final event.
The rope is for three points.

You get to the top and ring that bell...

I'm gonna give you
five extra bonus points.

All right? Burberry, Hamm, let's go.

Come on, Ming. Go, Ming.

Whoa, hasn't she participated
in the shuttle run?

I don't remember it that way.

Roland Waffle hasn't participated yet.

Here he comes.

Rolo, you're up.
- Yes.

You're going down.

Ready.

Set.

Go, go, go!

Come on. Come on, Roland.

Burn that baby! Get up!

Come on.
- Get up higher.

He's beating you by a lot.

Go, go, go!

You lose, Choker.

On three. One, two, three!
- Burberry!

Just hang in there.
I'll be with you all the way.

I won't leave your side.

Can I have your attention, please?
- See you at the hospital.

Settle down.
We're about to announce the winners.

The qualifying schools for
the Northeastern Region, District 12...

are as follows:

Burberry Prep.

Ripperton Middle School.

And finally, the last school
to be moving on to the nationals is...

Colgate Catholic.

Way to go, gang.

If you didn't qualify,
it doesn't mean that you're a loser.

It just means
that you're not a winner, so...

Okay.

Cheater!

What? Are you kidding me?
His feet are sticky. So, what?

They're sticky! I got a whistle.

Here's my whistle.
What do you think about this whistle?

What do you think about that?

Colgate cheaters.
- You suck.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

I have never been so embarrassed
for a community in my entire life.

Ladies and gentlemen.

In light of the recent developments...

I'm sad to announce
that Colgate Catholic...

has been disqualified
from the competition.

The school with the next highest score
that will be moving on to state finals is:

Please, please, please.

Hamm Lake.

You may have squeaked through
this time, Choker.

But no technicality's
gonna help you guys in the finals.

All right, crew, let's move out.

No shaking hands.
Failure's contagious.

Burberry, Burberry, Burberry!

I mean how hard is it
to hold on to a piece of rope?

What a ridiculous mess of a little kid.
I ought to...

I love that boy. Oh, doc.

I didn't see you standing there.

I was privately lamenting my own pain.
Is he gonna be okay?

He'll recover. He's bruised some ribs,
I taped him up pretty good...

but he won't be able to do
much physical activity for a while.

I'm just happy
my little man is gonna live.

He was never really
in any danger of dying.

There he is. Excuse me.
Hey, I'll take over from here.

Hey, how about ice cream?
Come on.

We're gonna go get some ice cream.

And just celebrate
the day we cheated death.

So are we still going for ice cream?

I'm sorry I screwed up.
- Look, it's not your fault.

What was I thinking trying to make
something out of nothing.

What am I, a miracle worker?
- I'll do better at the finals.

No, no.

You are not getting another
opportunity to embarrass me. Again.

Why are you stopping here?

Well, not the best idea to have your
mother seeing us together. Right?

But you're coming over.

Come on, why would I do that?
- Dinner.

Everything just tastes better
with garlic.

Not only that, we don't get sick
nearly as often as we used to.

Do we, honey?

I wasn't sure
if you took your pasta blended too.

No. Pasta, I blend in my mouth.
Thank you.

Boy, this all looks delicious.
- Good. Scoot in, Roland.

Come on, why are you sitting so far away?

So Roland...

is it strange for you
seeing your gym teacher out of class?

Well...
- I don't know about him...

but it sure is strange for me.
I barely recognize the boy.

You sure he's your son?
Maybe he's an imposter.

Let's see some ID.
Do little boys carry ID?

This pasta's fantastic.
I haven't chewed in months.

Well, I'm glad you like it.

It's been a long time since I've cooked
for someone besides Roland and me.

Have some bread.
- I'm fine.

It's your favorite.
- No, thanks.

I cooked it fresh for you.
- Okay.

Know what else I made fresh
was the croutons.

I have figured out the key
to the perfect crouton.

It's all in the double roasting. You
do a little toast, add some olive oil.

Perfect crunch.
- I'll say.

So I'm not sure if you knew this...

but Roland here has been taking
a bird-calling class after school.

How would I know that?

Come on, give us a call, Roland.
- No.

No, no.
- Why?

He may be so good that a thousand
birds will descend and steal our pasta.

Haven't we learned anything
from Hitchcock?

I'm sure he's not that good yet,
Mr. Stewie.

Come on, Roland. Give us a call.

Yeah, sure. Okay. I guess.

This one is called
the blue and gold African Bohawkus.

That was beautiful.
- That was unexpected.

My little songbird...

What? Are you okay?
Are you in pain?

I saw a bird in the window.
- I saw it too.

You silly little monkey.
Such a silly kid.

Roland?

He looks so tired.

I really think we should call a doctor.
- Oh, no, no, I think he'll be fine.

He's just going through
a lot of adjustments.

Thanks, Dave.

I'm gonna go get his soothing temple rub.

Boy, do I owe you.

I mean, you came through for us
with that bird call, huh?

How did you do that?

I learned one
just in case I got put on the spot.

Good game, Rolo. Good game.

Okay, well...

Heal up.

When are we gonna start training again?

Wow, Rolo. I mean, your ribs.

It's not like the floors
are gonna be getting any softer.

And all this lying to your mom is giving
me pain in the pit of my stomach.

I think that's called a conscience.
- Yeah, I was hoping it was indigestion.

Look, you let the old ribs heal, and
when we come back from the finals...

come on by my office and I'll let you
stare at the trophy all you want, okay?

But I wanna go with you.

Bad idea.
- But I have to climb that rope.

No. Very bad idea.
- Wait. Do you know what it's like...

to have to live your life every day
a loser?

Having people laugh behind your back?

And then one day...

after all the taunting
and the mocking and the ridicule...

that loser finally has a chance
to turn everything around.

You can understand that, right?
- It's not resonating.

Just, please, give me that chance.

You got it, Rolo.

You don't own a cat, do you?
It's just...

Mr. Stewie?
- Yes, Roland.

I think I'm bleeding on my insides.
- We all are, a little bit.

No, I mean, I think I really am.
I taste iron.

Sweet dreams, little spaceman.

Morning wind sprints?
- That helmeted dork has gotta go.

He's a fellow student now.
He has the right to compete.

Not if he gets kicked out of school.

Pirated DVDs.

Throw a few of these suckers
in his locker...

I'm shocked.
What a ridiculous idea that is.

None of you
were the picture of coordination...

when you stumbled into my gym.

Now, what's important here
is we do our best.

Not winning.

Really? Then what about this?

This is not even me.

I never said it was.
- Well, it's not.

Look, guys, I know a lot of times...

I make winning seem
more important than anything...

and usually it is,
but maybe this time it isn't.

Maybe this time,
what's important is friendship.

Because Roland needs us.
And I know with your help and mine...

we can win this thing
and we can feel good about it.

You don't wanna be like those creeps
from Burberry, do you?

That's not what we're about.
What do you say?

All right.
- Sure.

Just give me one crack at him.
- Derek.

All right.

Come here. Come here. You...

I knew I could count on you guys.
Now get out of my office.

Thattaboy. Come on, now. Hit it.

Pull it! Pull. Pull. Pull.

Keep your head up.
Up and down, come on. Keep going.

Hey.

I can't, I can't.

Stop.

Go.

Stop.

Go.

Come on, Roland.

Come on, baby.
- Keep going. You can do it.

Come on, Roland.
- You're almost there. Yeah!

He can't go.

What?
- What?

But we talked about this, Winnie.
- Yeah, the whole team's going.

You don't want him
to be left out of this.

No. The people in the world
and the traffic and the sharks.

Okay. But the only way
I would possibly consider this...

is because he's going to be with
you, and he's not participating, right?

Tummy hurts.
- Are you okay?

L...

I'm just the team manager. I'll be
by Mr. Stewie's side the entire time.

Safe.

Okay, you can go. You can go.
- Yes.

No talking to strangers.
Look before you cross the street.

And if you see a pack of wild dogs,
remember, just hide until they're gone.

I won't let anything happen to him.

Good luck, Dave.
- Thanks.

And just remember,
no matter what happens...

you're still
Gym Teacher of the Year to me.

Stewie's got a girlfriend.

Shut up, Derek.

I miss you.

Let's go kick some butt.
- Bye.

Bye. Seatbelt! Sit dow... Sit down.

This is it, boys and girls, huh?

What we've worked so hard for.
- Yeah.

Let's do it.

Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah.
- Yes.

Okay, guys, this way. Come on, we'Il...
Just come on over here for a sec.

Okay. So we're gonna...
- Look at this place. It's awesome.

There sure are gonna be
a lot of people watching.

Thousands.

Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!

Stewie, Stewie, Stewie!

Back to the bus.
Everyone back to the bus.

Well, if it isn't Chokels the Clown.

What, are you looking
for the parking lot?

Yeah, to board the bus
and drive it to victory.

What's that supposed to mean?

That's for me to know
and you to find out.

Guys, I'm signing us up. Wait here.

I gotta hand it to you, Stewie.
You never knew when to quit.

Well, quitting isn't in my vocabulary,
Bragg.

Well, I guess choking is.
- Hey, what is your problem, man?

I'll tell you what my problem is, man.

Twenty years ago,
you disgraced this country.

Now you're a black mark
on the spirit of competition.

And I'm gonna make sure
that nobody forgets that.

Gentlemen, there's a line forming.

After you, Chokey.

My arm!

Burberry!

You're going down, dipwad.

Shut up, Ming.
- Let me handle this.

Get back in there. No, I got it.
Your hats are dumb.

All right, Burberry, let's roll out.
On three. One, two, three. Hey!

Burberry, Burberry, Burberry!

Thank you.

Get settled in your rooms
and we'll meet down in the restaurant.

What are you gonna do, coach?

Hit the bar and drown my panic
in a protein shake.

You gonna be okay?
- I'm fine, stop asking.

I'm a gym teacher.
Gym teachers are fine. I'm fine.

But you don't seem fine.
- Go to your rooms.

Mr. Stewie?
- What is it, Roland?

I'm nervous about tomorrow.
- Well, get in line.

I wish my mom was here.

You know as well as I do
that if she were...

that means that you wouldn't be.

If she knew you were competing,
you'd be home...

and I'd be going to jail
for kidnapping.

Why don't you relax in your room...

while I introduce myself
to a banana mash.

Hello.

This is his mother.

Consent form?
No, there must be some mistake.

My son isn't competing.
He's team manager.

I'm holding a registration form...

filled out by his gym teacher,
Mr. Dave Stewie.

We call to get parental consent...

before tomorrow morning's competition.

We wanna be covered.

In case your child is involved
in any sudden mishap...

resulting in loss of limbs,
severe facial disfigurement...

Hello? Hello?

Ming! Hang that up.

Would you pass me that?

Are you okay, Mr. Stewie?

Because you hardly ate anything, so...

I'm fine, Morgan, thank you.

If you're not gonna finish that,
do you mind if l...?

Did I say I was finished?
- You haven't touched it.

Well, maybe I'm saving it for later,
did you ever think of that?

Maybe I'm saving it for tomorrow.

After I'm laughed out
of the gym-teacher business.

Forced to wander the streets...

picking up cans for nickels here
and nickels there.

At least I'll be able to reach
into my pocket and go:

'Boy, oh, boy, look at me.
I've still got a nutritious meal.'

I'm sorry.

A gym teacher's supposed to lead and...

I'm sorry,
I'm feeling the pressure a little bit.

Well, no matter what happens tomorrow...

we'll still be a team,
right, Mr. Stewie?

You said it, Roland.

We'll always be a team, huh, guys?

Hamm Lake Hams!

I don't know what it was booked under.

For all I know the reservation
was under 'Big Fat Liar.'

He's wearing sweatpants, a whistle,
and he has kidnapped my son.

Tummy ache.

How could you? You lied to me.

Roland, sweetie, are you okay?
How's your face?

I'm fine, l...
- I will have you brought up on charges.

Mom, it's okay. I'm fine.
- No, it is not okay.

Lucky for Roland I got a phone call...

telling me that he's registered
to compete?

You... But, Winnie...

Okay, I fudged the truth a little bit,
Winnie, but...

Winnie, he can do it.
You should see him.

I see him every day. I am his mother
and that is what mothers do.

No, you don't see him, Winnie.
He's strong.

And he's got me for a gym teacher.

Well, we'll just have to rectify that,
won't we?

Go.

Where's your helmet?

Probably would have been
a good idea to ask his mother first.

Are you even on the team?

We'll stay here tonight,
drive home in the morning.

Mom, please.
- I don't wanna hear a word.

Good morning, competitors.

Buses are now loading
at the lobby entrance.

Well, this is humiliating.

I knew something was up
when he wouldn't let me eat his food.

Shut up, Derek.

I wanna get out of here.
Where's Stewie?

I banged on his door. Nothing.

You guys wait here.
I'm gonna find him.

I still can't believe
you could lie to me.

Look, I'm sorry I lied to you, Mom.
I really am.

But I knew that you wouldn't let me
do it if I told you the truth.

I wouldn't let you do it
because it is dangerous for you...

to do things like that, Roland.
It's all so dangerous.

It's not dangerous, Mom,
it's just gym.

All kids do it and Mr. Stewie's
the first gym teacher...

who taught me that I could do it.

You've been scared ever since Dad died.

Scared of everything.

And you know what?
I was scared too.

But Mom, I'm not scared anymore.
Mr. Stewie taught me not to be scared.

He showed me that I could do it
and not be scared.

Mr. Stewie taught me
I could take the helmet off my head.

Maybe it's time
you took the helmet off your heart.

Regrets? Sure, I've had a few.

Being born,
that's probably numero uno.

You do realize those drinks
have nothing stronger in them...

than fruit and protein powder,
right?

How about
a little less... and a little more:

Mr. Stewie, there you are.
- Here I am.

We've been looking all over for you.

You found me.

We wanna go.

Banana mash. Try it.

How was your night, loser?

Loose lips sink ships.
- What are you talking about, Bragg?

Dragging a kid across state lines
without a parental-consent form?

Well, I couldn't let that slip by,
now could I?

I mean, what kind of a gym teacher
would I be if I did that?

Come on, Ming, let's roll out.

I got a Wheaties box
I need to get fitted for.

Dave.
- Winnie.

What are you doing back?
Look, I'm sorry.

I overreacted and...
- I didn't know how...

I've been so scared.
- I never meant to...

And here we are.

There's so much I have to say to you.
- There's so much I have to say to you.

You first.
- There's no time.

What do you mean?
- We have a contest to win.

The time. We'll never make it.

Dave Stewie, you can make it.
You are a gym teacher.

Hamm Lake Hams!
Come on, let's go.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time to introduce our finalists...

in the first annual National
Gym Teacher of the Year Competition.

Please give a warm welcome
to our finalists.

And now
that all the schools have arrived...

I can finally, formally proclaim
that the competition has begun.

I am proud to introduce
today's head judge...

Wait!

We're here. Hamm Lake is here.

Hamm Lake is here.
- It's too late, you can't compete.

I've already blown the whistle.
- What?

The whistle, I already blew it. Surely
you understand, you're a gym teacher.

The whistle.
- Yeah, but we're here now.

Blow it again. You know you want to.

Blow it again?

I don't know. Can I do that?

You can't blow that.
Not again, that's a whistle.

I know it's a whistle.
- It's a whistle.

Doesn't that mean anything
to any of you people?

Stay out of this, Bragg.
Just blow it again.

But...
- Blow it again, please.

I just don't know.

Yeah, but once it's blown,
you can't blow it again.

That's like refrying beans.
- They can do that. Please.

What about the ramifications?
The precedent it would set?

Blow the whistle. Blow it again.
- Come on, blow it again.

Blow it again, you bum.
Blow it again.

Come on, blow it again.
- Blow it again.

Blow it again. Blow it again.

Blow it again. Blow it again.

Blow it again! Blow it again!
Blow it again!

Blow it again! Blow it again!
Blow it again!

Oh, the heck with it.

Hamm Lake Hams!

I'm proud to introduce
today's head judge...

one of the greatest
Olympic champions of all time:

The one, the only Bruce Jenner.

He's even more perfect in person.

Let's go, Bruce! Let's go!

Okay, guys, take a knee.
Take a knee.

Well, we had a bit of a rough night,
but we're here now.

So remember what I've taught you.

You can do anything you put your
mind to, each and every one of you.

You're stronger, you're faster.

And what's most important
is you're teammates.

So help each other out there.

Hamm Lake Hams!

Okay, go get them.
Roland, not you. Wait.

I know you want this as badly as I do.

You wanna know something?

Right now I can't think of anyone
I'd rather have on that rope than you.

Really?

Well, now I'm thinking
of a lot of alternative names...

but that's only because
you got me thinking about it.

Do your best.
- I think we're ready to go.

Do your best.
- I think we're ready to go.

Ladies and gentlemen,
let the games begin.

Very strong performance
in the chin-up event...

and the Long Horn Sharks
take the lead.

Go, Hanson,
show him what you got.

Big relay win
for the South Hill Bulldogs...

and they move ahead.

Solid jousting victory.

And the Burberry Bobcats
have seized the lead.

With that obstacle course win...

the Hamm Lake Hams
pulled into a tie with Burberry.

As the competition
enters the home stretch...

Burberry takes the lead
by four points over Hamm Lake.

Shelly Bragg, poised to take
Gym Teacher of the Year.

Only one competitor remains,
Roland Waffle.

If he reaches the top of
the climbing rope and rings the bell...

Hamm Lake scores five points
and wins the competition.

If he fails,
Burberry will be the champion.

Okay, guys.

Every one of you has done a great job,
but it all comes down to this, huh?

We're a little behind.
This is the last event. This is it.

Roland, it's up to you.

We believe in you.
- You can do it, Rolo.

Derek?

Yeah, what they said.

Go get them, Rol.

Come on, Roland.
- Get them, Roland.

Roland, come on. You can do it.
We know it. Come on.

Come on, kid.
- Come on.

All right.

Roland, you okay?
- I'm pretty scared.

Okay, okay. Hey.

You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.

I want to.
- That's the answer I wanna hear.

You can do it. You can do it.

Climb that rope, Roland.
You can do it. Climb it.

Choker.

Roland, what's the matter?
- I can't do this.

What do you mean?
You have to do this.

You said if I didn't want to, I didn't...
- I lied.

That was a pep talk.
I say that to everyone. I don't mean it.

If you don't climb this rope right now,
the stink of failure...

will be hanging off you
the rest of the school year.

Do you want that?

Face your fears.

You're a hypocrite.
- What?

You want me to face my fears,
but you've been running from yours.

Who are you to tell me
about facing fears?

But the horse...

it's scary. I don't like...
- Come on, what's the hold-up here?

The horse.

Hey, guys.
Guys, is there a problem?

Come on, pacing.
We're losing the audience, ratings...

Bruce Jenner.

My whole life, you've been my hero.
Every night I've dreamt of meeting you.

Other things in the dream,
I don't wanna discuss.

But I'm in the middle of something.
So back off, Jenner.

Jeez, obviously,
you've never done television.

Come on, helmet boy.

You're right, I am a hypocrite.
I've been running my whole life.

Come on.

Maybe it's time for both of us
to stop running.

What do you mean?

I think it's time
to vault over the horse of fear.

So you're gonna vault over the horse?
- I'm speaking metaphorically, Roland.

I'm not going anywhere
near that thing. Good luck, pal.

Hey, loser. Love the helmet.

We don't have all day, boy.

You can do it.

If you like it so much,
why don't you keep it.

Suck it up, Ming.

You can do it, Roland.

Come on, Roland.

Come on, Roland.

You can do it.

Come on, come on.

Hamm Lake wins.

We were so near.

On behalf of the National
Gym Teacher of the Year awards...

I would like to congratulate
our winners, Hamm Lake.

And the Gym Teacher of the Year,
Dave Stewie.

Congratulations on a job well done.

Now, for winning,
I would like to give you...

this ridiculously giant representation
of a check. Put it right down here.

And our winning trophy.

Congratulations, Dave,
you did a great job.

Thank you, Bruce.
And I'm sorry I got mad at you before.

Maybe we can go have coffee,
talk Olympics later.

I don't think so. I don't like you.

Thank you, Bruce Jenner
and thank you, Mr. President.

You know, as I always tell my kids...

you can't win without trying.

And when you do try,
you gotta try your best.

And that's where
a good gym teacher comes in...

to help these kids go for the gol...

Shut up.
Who doesn't remember 1988...

then this one man dashed the hopes
of an entire nation?

You discredit the word 'competition.'
You don't represent winning.

You are marked by shame and dishonor.

This man is an embarrassment.

Winning doesn't make a loser
a winner, you loser.

Face your fears, Mr. Stewie.

Come on.

Watch it, Stewie.

I'm a yellow belt.

I told you this man is a degenerate.

There are children here.
Somebody stop him.

Stewie! Stewie! Stewie!

Dave Stewie. Dave Stewie.
Dave Stewie.

Stewie! Stewie!

Stewie! Stewie! Stewie!

I did it. I actually did it.
- Stewie, you did it.

Hey, who's up for an x-ray, huh?

What a great day. I can't feel my feet.
- Okay, here we go.

I'm so proud of you guys.

All right, let's load up, Burberry.
On three. One, two, three. Burberry.

I think I shattered my arches.
We did it. We did it.

Hey, has anyone seen the trophy?

Hey, what are you guys doing,
playing in here...

unsupervised after school hours?

That's all I need is for people to realize
my job's unnecessary.

Roland was just showing us a great game.

Yeah, Galmerians versus the Ziggurats
in an intergalactic battle of doom.

Sounds ridiculous.
Guess what came out today?

What?
- New Wheaties box.

Way to go, Mr. Stewie.

And I personally think
it's better than Jenner's.

You put us all on?

Well, we're teammates, aren't we?

Yeah!
- Yeah!

So you got room for two new players?

No, no, I couldn't possibly...
- Oh, come on.

Yeah, come on, Mom.
- Well, okay.

Well, okay, let's play.

Time to pay the piper.
Time to pay the piper, Derek.