All language subtitles for Arrested Development S04E08 WEBRip XviD-FUM-eng

NARRATOR: Even though
it was only a hundred miles

from her hometown
of Newport Beach,

the desert created a whole new
value system for Lindsay Bluth.

I'd give $20,000
for a lemonade right now.

For the most part.

It was here that she'd moved
with her activist boyfriend...

Marky! Mommy needs mescaline!

...and his mother.

And tell your girlfriend DeBrie

to shovel that ostrich crap!

It's not DeBrie, Ma Bark.

It's Lindsay.

I just cut off my hair.

I know who you are.

Now start shoveling!

God, you're lazier than Lindsay.

(sighs)

(gasps)
Marky, hurry!

- There's another dead iguana.
- Oh.

What does this mean?

Probably those bastards
next door.

The bastards next door were
actually a gathered group

of CEOs who were attending
a mid-summer sweat and squeeze.

MARKY:
They want us off their land.

Probably so they can
build a border wall.

They just want to separate
the whites from the browns.

You really are color-blind.

Face-blind.

Fortunately, I can see color.

That's how I can tell
the browns are the Mexicans.

Anyway, I thought
I scared those bastards off

by scaring their leader.

The strong will become the weak.

But I think I overdid it first
on the maca, because I ended up

seeing two of him.

But to kill an innocent iguana,

this beautiful creature
of the desert...

- (hissing)
- That lizard bastard bit me!

God!

Who keeps numbing
these desert animals?

No, no, we'll kill it later.

Mom, lizard bite!

Put some rubbing mescaline
on it!

NARRATOR:
Lindsay hated her new life,

but even more,
she hated herself

for hating her new life.

Marky, I just don't know how
much more of this I can take.

I'm surrounded
by squalor and death,

and I still can't be happy.

Yeah, well,
it's only gonna get worse,

'cause they're chasing us
off the land.

I mean, where are we gonna go?

Hey, new girl, I just heard

about your mother's trial.

She was sent away.

Lindsay had missed
her own mother's trial,

and for that, she'd never
be able to forgive her...

Hey, I know a place
that just opened up.

...herself.

Now the story of a family

whose future
was abruptly canceled,

and the one daughter
who had no choice

but to keep her life together.

It's Lindsay's
Arrested Development.

- Lindsay wanted to move
- That's great.

to her mother's
empty penthouse,

- but Marky wouldn't think
- You dropped your shovel.

of leaving the old bird behind.

(clucking)

So it was a party of three

that had to sneak into
the Balboa Towers.

Although Marky
was having trouble

- accepting what appeared to be
- Come on, Cindy.

a lavish lifestyle.

- What do you think?
- Ugh.

Smells weird in here.
What is that?

I think it's just... not urine.

And we're not moving in,

we're occupying a space
with central air.

(Cindy squawks)

Cindy?

You okay?

(chuckles): Look, Lindsay,
Cindy already marked the master.

Okay.

This will be where she goes.

So we're staying.

And we will change the world
and hold our heads high.

And it might be nice to live
like normal people for a change.

Let's put some newspaper
on these windows.

(clucking)

One year later, however,

the only thing
they'd actually changed was

getting the "not urine" smell
out of the penthouse.

(clucking)

You're looking at Lindsay.

Still Lindsay.

Oh. Hey, Linds.

- How was beg?
- Beg was good.

I found sometres lechescake.

That's great.

Hey, did you clean up?

No, no, I just cleared out a
space to work on the Love bomb.

Oh, okay. I'll, uh, change
out of these filthy clothes

and into some filthy lingerie.

I don't think I washed it.

No, I meant what we're gonna do
to this guy-- Herbert Love.

Oh.

Herbert Love was a very
conservative candidate

for a very conservative seat
in the very conservative

- House of Representatives.
- Look, look, look.

Am I guilty of anything? Yes.

Of having a great
sense of humor.

But the two women
who accused me of this crime

donothave
a great sense of humor.

Look, in fact, I'll tell you the
joke and let you be the judge...

Although he was prone to

the more than occasional
harassment scandal.

I forgot the joke.

Oh, he's about to be harassed,
all right.

I'm gonna spray the bastards
with ink and glitter.

It'll be in their ears
for weeks.

Thing is, I can't find
the glitter anywhere.

Did you take the silver glitter?

Nope. I mean,
I'd say check the junk drawer,

but I can't
differentiate anymore.

Oh, God, what is this?

Oh. Okay, good.
Perfect timing,

because this is
where you come in.

A lot of this has to do
with ink compression,

oxygen capacity,
expulsion pressures.

But the point is,
three days before the event,

I'm gonna take the explosive
and hide in the podium.

On the night of the event,
at exactly 7:30,

I'm gonna pull the pin
to the tank.

Then you're gonna (knocking)
knock on the podium door

to let me know
that the coast is clear.

When Love steps up to the podium
at exactly 8:00, blam!

The podium doors burst open,
and he and everyone will be...

Blue in the face, yeah.

That's better than
what I had, actually.

I was gonna say they'd be
covered in ink and glitter.

Or we can support Lucille 2,
who he's running against.

She's right across the hall.

No, no!
She's part of the problem.

Wait, you haven't been
going over there, by the way?

- No one can know we're here.
- Of course not.

Does it look like I'm lying?

It did.

But not to a man
with face-blindness.

Yeah, no, I guess not.

Because Lindsay
could only spend

so many hours with a shrill,
feathered creature...

(Lucille 2 squawks)

...and needed to get away.

You look marvelous in that!

Here, try this on.

I can't believe
how much I've missed

the feel of anything
that isn't hemp.

And try this on.

Isn't that funny?

I used to wear that
with the Captain.

And I was...

Tennille?

And not make contact, yes!

What am I gonna do,
cut it down for my foster child?

That is what she wanted to do,

until he threatened to call
Social Services.

Oh, look what I made you.

Oh! I love it!

It's glittery!

Lindsay was no stranger
to making campaign posters,

having made several
in her seventh grade

class president campaign
against Sally Sitwell.

Sally ultimately
proved successful

with a more fact-based
campaign.

A couple of tiny notes, hon.

There are two S's in "congress."

And I just
call myself Lucille...

Lucille 1. I'm so sorry.

No.

Just Lucille.

But I love it!

Oh, I wish you'd officially work
for my campaign.

We could make such a difference.

Well, Marky says that's not

the way we should make change.

Oh, speaking of, do you mind

if I go through
your couch cushions?

Oh, honey, I wish you'd take the
rest of thistres lechescake.

It's from a dear
Hispanic supporter.

And I'll never get it
into the bay in one piece.

Honestly, Lucille 2,
you've been like a mother to me.

Aw.

Except kind and loving
and willing to let me eat.

It just blows me away.

Lindsay knew she had to keep

her secret life
of luxury hidden...

You're looking at Lindsay.

Still Lindsay.

...from a boyfriend that was

preparing to squat in a podium

for three days
with a paint bomb.

But, Marky, I mean,
won't you go crazy in there?

Oh, no, that's nothing.
I once did a week and a half

in an oil drum
just to throw a pie

at Arnold Schwarzenegger.
(chuckles)

I never heard about that.

Oh, yeah, well,
the press tried to spin it as

"Hippie tries to play pie-tin
Frisbee with the governor,"

but... this time,
I'm eating beforehand.

Yeah, I-I see that.

Hey, can I get you a fork?

'Cause that's my brother
whose face you're licking.

That's a face?

Everything I do is wrong.

- (sighs)
- I knew you wouldn't be

on board with this, Lindsay.

I'm sorry to say this,

but you are losing your passion.

What passion?
You don't even look at me.

I don't know
if I've said this before--

it's not important or anything--

but I'm really, really pretty.

I'm the straightest guy
you know!

Why does every man feel like

they have to say that to me?

- (clucking)
- Quiet! Cindy's in heat.

You know how much she hates it
when we argue.

(whispering): Now listen to me.
This protest of mine

- can really make a difference.
- Yeah, it's gonna land you

- in jail, Marky.
- Oh, there it is.

Oh, yeah, so that's-- oh, yeah.

You know what,
you are just as selfish

- and money-hungry
as you ever were. -No, I'm...

- Yes, you are.
- That's not true.

Ooh, a Neiman's catalog.

But it was what she found
stuck inside the catalog

that got her attention.

And that's when she found
the mother lode.

"From Gangie 4: Facelift."

What a load of...

Mother.

And this time, she did
make a court appearance.

Cheryl, you've got no backhand!

I'm working the whole court,

and you keep hitting the balls
(bleep) high.

Oh, great, looks like we've got
another high-end hooker in here.

Oh, thank you, Mother.

LUCILLE:
So, let's cut to the chase.

I want to talk to you about
a check for plastic surgery.

I already wrote you
a check for that.

NARRATOR: Lucille had,
back when Lindsay thought

- she was only 12 years old.
- New nose.

Worrying it would hurt
her daughter's feelings...

Put a "Y" on there.

...she put a fun spin on it.

- "Nosy."
- LUCILLE: And you should be

thanking me for that.

You looked like a can opener.

No, a check for my daughter.

She's gorgeous.

And I love her
just the way she is.

When was the last time
you saw her?

She's been living
with her father the past year,

and it's been... really hard.

I'll be out on parole
by the time you work up a tear.

What makes you think I wrote
a check to your daughter, nosy?

It came to the penthouse.

Well, well.

Little Miss Lives-Off-the-Land
is living in my penthouse.

Okay, so you figured it out,
Gene Parmesan.

Just goes to show, the apple
does not far from the tree fall.

I am like you nothing.

You're not even my real mother.

I am a political activist.

Oh, you're a lot more like me
than you know, sister.

Except I can back up
my bad choices.

I'm doing hard time.

Your 3:00 p.m.
hot rock massage is open.

Thanks for coming, sweetheart.

- Mm.
- NARRATOR: But Lindsay wanted

to prove that she wasn't like
her so-called mother.

(sighs)

And that's why she did this.

I'm in.

Let's bomb the bastard.

It's Lindsay.

Oh, yes!
(laughs): Yeah!

NARRATOR: Lindsay and her
boyfriend Marky arrived in--

get this--
Beverly Hills to prepare

for their act
of glittery social protest.

But Lindsay was having
second thoughts.

Marky, look, um,

I have this check that my mother
wrote for my daughter.

It can buy us a lot of leaflets
against Love.

And also a lot
of Nature's Miracle.

You know, there's a huge sale
going on right now at Petco...

No, never! Rip it up! No money!

And don't worry,
I've thought of everything.

He had.

Except for someone
to watch Cindy.

(laughs):
Oh, but she's locked in.

What's the worst
that can happen?

(screaming, squawking)

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

Ah! What a great day to step out

onto an over-irrigated
golf course and play a game

that wastes vast acres
of usable, farm-able land.

And after a few nights
in the trailer,

Lindsay showed up
in Lucille 2's Tennille wig

to be ready to release Marky
from the podium

at the appointed time,

and then stroll out together
in disguise.

I think that's what
this part refers to

back when the disguise was

going to be
a two-part horse costume.

But soon, she ran into a father
she hadn't seen in over a year.

Lindsay, I forgot,
you dyed your hair.

Do you have any money?

And that's how Lindsay

parted with the check for Maeby

that Marky had told her
to rip up.

And it was then
she ran into a daughter...

Maeby.

...whose $50,000 check
she'd just given away...

Mom.

...stealing some
coconut shrimp.

Of course you're here.

I should've known you'd be

- supporting this right-wing,
dangerous crackpot. -No, no.

I am here undercover
with my boyfriend.

We are gonna take down Love

with a random act
of senseless nonviolence.

Maeby felt a foreign feeling.

I actually respect that.

- Thank you, Maeby.
- Which is why,

for the first time
in her adult life...

So what are you doing here?

...Maeby was totally honest
with her mother.

I'm getting a lifetime
achievement award

for my work
in the entertainment business.

I tried.

Tell your therapist I tried.

NARRATOR: But realizing
she was still too early

to let Marky out of the podium,

Lindsay headed to the bar,

and that's when she met the man
she was there to sabotage...

Is it just me,

or are we the only two people
who don't fit in

with all these
Orange County phonies?

(sighs)

...and had no idea who he was.

They are a bunch of phonies.

I usually don't even go
to these things.

NARRATOR:
And perhaps it was

because he reminded her so much

of Tobias
when they first started dating,

but Lindsay flirted back.

What's your name, princess?

Cindy Featherbottom.

Of the Laguna Beach
Featherbottoms?

Are you trying to find out
where I live?

- And your favorite kind
of jewelry. - (both laugh)

NARRATOR: Lindsay hadn't heard
the word "jewelry"

in a long time
but tried to stay strong.

How do I know you're not
one of these phonies?

The only phony I'm interested in
is your phony number.

NARRATOR: And like Cinderella
at the ball,

Lindsay really felt
like a princess for a change...

Okay.

...but also like Cinderella,

- she lost track of the time...
- It's, uh, 714... -Mm-hmm.

(explosion)

(Marky screams)

- (Lindsay sighing)
- ...and had forgotten

to release Marky
from the podium,

and that's when she was struck

- with an eerie sense...
- Right this way, sir,

- right this way.
- ...of déjà vu.

Lindsay.

Oh, God, he blued himself.

NARRATOR: Lindsay's attempt
to create a disaster

for Herbert Love was
a complete disaster,

and as she tried to slip away
without drawing attention

to herself, she was
once again approached...

- Cindy Featherbottom.-... by the
man whose name she never got.

Here's my private number.

Give me a call;
perhaps we can engage

- in some sexual congress.
- Although that's

a total giveaway, right?

What a wonderful sense of humor.

I'd like that very much.

Sir, the press awaits.

Now, I don't know what this nut
was protesting tonight.

I thought you were supposed
to be sticking it

to the man,
not the other way around.

Maeby.

You think he likes me that way?

No, Mom, that's Herbert Love,

the man you're here to protest.

And I hear the guy with the bomb

snuck up here from Mexico.

That's why I say,

we have got to build a wall

- between us and Mexico.
- Oh, no.

H-How could you not
recognize him?

NARRATOR: In fairness
to Lindsay, it was Marky's

face-blindness that led him
to mistake this photo

for the candidate.

Why Lindsay failed to recognize

musical icon Nat King Cole
cannot be explained.

But he's so modern looking.

I mean, obviously I didn't know
it was the man

whose politics
I'm here to protest.

I guess I was just having fun,

pretending I had
my old life back.

Well, we'll just be friends,
and I'm gonna keep it

light and fun with him
and not talk politics at all.

I can't believe
you're such a sellout.

- (sighs) -Are you really going
to whore yourself out like that?

- I am not a whore.
- Yeah, you're a whore.

I am not a whore.

Look, I am still committed
to my ideals

and to my Marky.

MARKY:
Lindsay!

Lindsay, Lindsay!

Well, you certainly have a type.

Lindsay? Have you seen a
woman named Lindsay?

If you see a woman
named Lindsay,

tell her to bail me out.

(gravelly):
I'll do my best, sir.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

(gravelly):
Taxi.

Tell Lindsay to feed Cindy.

- She thinks she's...
- (in normal voice): Taxi.

(elevator bell dings)

NARRATOR: Lindsay was
as blue as one of her men

when she returned
to the penthouse,

and that's when she decided
to get half in the bag.

- But even though she felt
bad...- (elevator bell dings)

...she was at least able
to turn a man's head...

Gentlemen, start your engines.

...although, perhaps had
his head not turned...

- Buster.
- ...he would have seen

- the ostrich warning
on the door.-No, Gob.

- (ostrich screeches)
- Oh!

NARRATOR:
After another night

in the trailer,
Lindsay went to the model home

to give a daughter
who called her a whore

a piece of her mind.

Hi, sweetie.

Of course, she needed a place
to stay, so she couldn't

- just jump right in.-I thought
I'd surprise you with a visit.

Yeah, well, the bags are
certainly a surprise.

You're not thinking
of moving in, are you?

- What? No.
- Yeah, because

I don't think
Dad would be cool with it.

- No, of course not.
- Yeah.

- Is he in?
- No.

(sighs)
Oh, what happened there?

Kids or people who like kids.

So, where's Marky?

God, Marky will be
in jail for quite a while.

NARRATOR: She actually had just
come from visiting him.

So it, uh, turns out
the glitter was shrapnel grade.

They're upping my charges

from prank bomb
to non-Arab terrorism.

This is where
you letting me out

of the podium
would have really helped.

Why didn't you just come out?

I couldn't do it;
someone locked me in.

NARRATOR:
In fact, it was Gob,

thinking he was trapping
the magician Tony Wonder

into one of his illusions.

GOB:
Hey, Mark, you guys want to see

a real failed magician,
you might want

to get down to the Opies
tonight.

It's going to be hysterical.

MARKY: I need you
to bail me out, Lindsay.

- I need you to use that check.
- Oh, I...

I don't have that check anymore.

- What?
- You told me to rip it up.

I thought you said you
didn't believe in money.

I didn't until I realized
what it could keep me from.

Jail's a lot like Swappigans,

except there's only
one thing to swap.

It's scary.

- GUARD: Anus tart.
- TOBIAS: Yep,

- that's me. -MARKY: Oh, God,
that could have been me.

Lindsay, listen to me--
I'm scared.

I'm scared,
I'm scared, I'm scared.

- I'm really scared.
- GUARD: No touching.

LINDSAY:
Actually it's kind of nice

to have a little me time.

Oh, of course, that's why
you were giving Herbert Love

a little you time last night.

You were flirting with him
to get Marky out of jail.

Well, yeah, that is

what I should have been do--
what I did, yeah, yeah.

That's exactly
what I should have and did do.

And it's not that bad an idea,
actually.

You could get him to do anything
'cause he's probably

just one of those shallow guys
who's only interested in looks.

I miss that.

Missed that.

Yeah, you know,
maybe it would be

a good idea if I got
in touch with him.

I mean, he did give me his card.

Although I could never call him.

I could call him for you

and I'll tell him
it has to be tonight.

Well, the sooner the better.

Got to get Marky out of jail.

That's why the sooner
the better.

NARRATOR: So Maeby arranged
for a meeting

that evening at Hollywood's
exclusive Ealing Club

between Herbert Love
and Cindy Featherbottom.

I like this place.

No cameras, no phones.

Everyone's cool.

Well, thank you
for being willing to meet.

Meet, greet.

Sure are sweet.

What a treat.

What did the lamb say?

Baa?

Bleat.

Ah, yes, of course.

I was just wondering,

is anything really bad going
to happen

to that blue guy from the rally?

Do you want to press charges?

Who can think of Little Boy Blue

- when I've got this beautiful
face in front of me? -Oh.

Thanks, haven't heard that
in a long time.

Your cheekbones are even higher
than my approval rating.

Your brain can register
my cheekbones?

I'll register 'em to vote.

- (laughs) -Your lips are
like a Murphy bed.

They don't take up much space,

but they are there
when you need 'em.

Okay, you are a poet.

You're wonderful.

But, um, yeah,
I-I do want to talk

to you about a couple of issues.

Can we just have one night where
we don't talk about politics?

Yes, yes, just one night.

- We deserve it.
- Let's get a room.

Yes-- no.

What?

Uh, I... okay.

We can talk in a room, I guess.

(elevator bell dings)

NARRATOR: And later,
down in the lobby, as Herbert

went off to do some business...

You hang tight.

I'm going to meet with some
of my, uh, "constititutes."

...Lindsay ran
into her brother Michael.

- Hi-lo.
- Michael?

Hi.

- How are you?
- Oh, good, good.

I almost didn't recognize you.

- It's my hair.
- That's some of it,

but it's also, you're with a guy

that pretty much represents
everything you pretend to hate.

- Was that Herbert Love?
- Great, now I remember

why we fell out of touch.

No, Lindsay, I'm kidding,
kidding, kidding, I'm so sorry.

I'm sure that you're having
a great influence

on him, you know.

(chuckling):
Thanks.

But if you really want
to blow him-- away,

you know the wall issue
that everyone is talking about?

The wall between Mexico
and the U.S.?

Tell him to take it down?

Or just not to put it up.
No wall yet.

Oh, no, there's no--
I knew that, yeah.

If you could get him

against the wall, Lindsay...

Well, I had no idea you were
this socially conscious.

NARRATOR:
He wasn't.

In fact, he was just using
her Love connection

to make good
on a deal he'd struck

to get
his father's movie rights.

Can you help me,
then, with Love?

Of course I will.

If you do something for me.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I would like to use your
membership at the Balboa Club.

The girl
I've been telling you about--

she likes nice things, and
if everything goes well tonight,

I think I may want
to take her out

for a nice dinner.

You really like this girl?

- She's Tracey.
- Oh.

Fat Tracey
or thin Tracey at the end?

I think, just on this,
you owe me the membership.

You know,
we're kind of maxed out

at the club,
but if you show them my card,

I'm sure they won't turn you
away at the door.

You'd do this for me?

I will if you...

- Yeah, sure, fine.
- Yeah?

Yeah, I'll talk to him
about the wall.

- Good. -I mean,
I want to change politics.

- Great.
- What's in it for me?

So not completely change them?

(chuckles)
What do you want?

Well, actually

I want you to talk
to that warden guy

about getting my boyfriend out

'cause I really don't think
Herbert's gonna help with that.

Well, I have a script notes call
with him on Tuesday.

- Yeah, I'll talk to Warden
Gentles. -Great, thank you.

This is good.

- Of course.
- Glad we ran into each other.

If you do something for me.

I'm making this movie and I need
everybody's rights.

NARRATOR:
And that's how Lindsay agreed

- to give Michael her rights for
his movie.-I'll do it. -Great.

Thanks.

That's it.

NARRATOR:
But it shouldn't have been

because he should have asked
for help getting into a club

he was about to discover
was members only.

- This is a membership place,
huh? -It is,

- yes, members only. -Yeah,
I'm meeting my son up there.

Maybe he's already up there.
Could you maybe page him

- up there?-And when
the page proved fruitless...

If you'd like
to have a seat and wait...

You're gonna make me look like
a big shot in front of my son.

And when the page
proved fruitless,

Michael decided to head
George Michael off

before he could get to the
club's lobby with a small lie.

Hey, buddy, it's Dad.

Um, I am having real trouble
getting up there.

Uh, this traffic
is unbelievable.

NARRATOR: Which led
to a slightly bigger lie...

We got a light aircraft right
in the middle of the freeway.

- You know?-... and then some
effort to make it foolproof.

Um, and, uh, the kicker
is that there's no news crew.

I mean, I guess they can't get
in either 'cause of the traffic,

so no one's going
to be able to see this.

NARRATOR:
But perhaps,

had Michael not have lied,

he wouldn't have felt
suspicious when, moments later,

- he received a return call
from his son...-You know what?

I bet we're sitting
in the exact same traffic.

- This is a mess.-... canceling
the get-together entirely.

Oh, God, they're forcing us off.
Oh, they're closing the lanes.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile,
in Herbert's hotel room,

Lindsay was worried she was

too quickly abandoning
her principles.

Wait... I can't do this

unless you promise
to be against the wall.

What the hell?

It's better for my back anyway.

Thank you.

NARRATOR:
Although technically

that was one
of Michael's principles.

LINDSAY:
Well...

That was so not quick.

(chuckles)

Well, I paid for six hours.

I want to get my money's worth.

Imagine what would have happened
if you had the room

for the whole night.

Oh, I got it
for the whole month.

You crack me up.

God, can you believe
this is happening?

I mean, we're such opposites
and yet we're so in synch.

- It's like we finish
each other's... -Sandwiches?

What's the point of raising
funds if I'm eating sandwiches?

- (murmurs)
- I got something for you.

(chuckling):
Oh, really?

(gasping)

NARRATOR: And perhaps it was
the heart that made her wonder

if Herbert was the Love the
Four Seasons shaman spoke of.

When love is near,
your heart will be happy.

HERBERT:
This way

you'll always have a little Love
near your heart.

(mystical chanting)

- Aah, Jesus Christ!
- Oh!

- I'm sorry.
- Why would you do that?

No, I thought it was cute,
I saw it in a movie.

- Okay?
- Okay, okay, great, thank you.

Oh, I feel so special.

You are special.

NARRATOR:
Lindsay wasn't special,

but he'd gotten
the necklaces on special.

LINDSAY:
So, when can I see you

- again?
- The only way

we can see each other is
if you work for my campaign.

You are going to be
my key advisor.

NARRATOR: She would be enacting
social change after all.

I would like that very much.

(Herbert chuckles)

She's going to need a key
to my room,

and I'd advise you to use it
when I call you.

NARRATOR: Since Herbert couldn't
officially spend money

on Lindsay, and Lindsay
hadn't told Herbert

- who she really was...
- Uh, why don't you go

- make the rounds, and, uh,
I'll get us checked in. -Okay.

...Lindsay had to pay
for dinner

- the way she always had...
- Uh, Bluth.

- I made a reservation.
- ...by secretly putting it

- on her family tab.
- Hi-lo. Nice to meet you.

Oh, I'm sorry,
the Bluths have been seated.

But she wasn't the only Bluth

pretending to be something
they weren't that night.

Who's the cheap redhead?

Well, hello.

Hello.

Indeed.

Look at you.
What are you doing here?

I need the membership. I'm
taking my boss out to dinner.

It's too late. I already made
a deal with Dad for it.

This is why I had to ask you
for the in with Herbert Love.

Exactly, and that's why
you are leaving,

and I'm going to stay because
I'm the one who did the favor.

I got Love against the wall.
Plus I've got to impress him.

He's making me part
of his campaign.

I'm sorry, there seems
to have been a mix-up.

- A merry one.
- Oh.

A merry one. I already paid you
back for the favor when

I talked to the warden about
getting Marky out of prison.

LINDSAY:
Oh, God, not now.

- When?
- I don't know, but listen.

I haven't been on a date
in a very, very long time,

and she's already going out
with Ron Howard

so I need to impress her.

Actually,
it was Ron's daughter,

but Michael still didn't
know that.

Great to see you.
And you look so good.

So do you.
I do hate the campaign,

okay, but I'm changing him.

I'm his key advisor.

Although without an office,

she was forced to advise him
in the back of his limo.

And soon she was advising him
all over town.

LINDSAY:
And he respect me for it.

He respects me for who I am.

So does mine.
Listen, we'll share it, okay?

- Okay.
- Got it? Great.

Oh! My name
is Cindy Featherbottom.

Right. Oh, and I-I used to be
a real estate tycoon,

now I'm an impressive producer.
Got it?

- Got it.
- Eat light.

This is my date.
This is Rebel Alley.

Oh, and my boss, Herbert Love.

- Hi-lo.
- Hi-lo?

Just like your plan
to hurt the poor.

I thought that was about
neglecting the poor.

I guess the special tonight
is red snapper.

How do you know this woman?

Uh, she is... um...

- I just, I mean...
- (Lindsay laughs)

- High school.
- Brother and sister.

We can't be brother-sister--
she knows about the family.

- We don't.
- Just met.

Yeah, so, but let's eat.

NARRATOR: And that's how Lindsay
found herself

on a very awkward double date
with her brother.

Is everybody's food as delicious
as my side salad?

And a couple of glasses
of white wine in,

Rebel started to espouse
her liberal agenda.

It's just a little hard to sit
two feet away from someone

who doesn't believe in paying
for a woman's contraception.

Well, to be fair, no,
he does pay for the room.

Is there anything better than
the great American scallop?

Look how he changes the subject.

Aren't you glad your teenager's
not here to see this?

You have a teenager?

I'm a movie prod...

Movie producer.

Producing a movie right now--
Rebel's in it

- for Imagine Entertainment.
- Oh!

Is that Ron Howard's company?

- Uh, yeah.
- Yes.

I don't want to be the one
to say it, but I hate that guy.

He's just another Hollywood
liberal big shot.

Oh. There are a lot of those
Ron Howards out there

that do abuse their power,

but I will tell you, sir,
that I do not do that.

Well, don't you have to have
power to abuse the power?

Um, I am not going to sit here
and defend Ron Howard

to someone who's never achieved
half of what he's achieved.

Are you saying that to him
or to me?

I forgot how touchy

these Hollywood people can be.

Oh, I'm not. I'm not.
Are you saying that I am?

Maybe Ron Howard is,
but I-I mean, I don't know.

But I'm not.
And I am also not

one of those Beverly Hills
billionaires

who can't go two minutes without
putting his phone to his...

I got to take this.
Hold on one second. Hello?

Hey, George Michael.
You stuck in traffic, pal?

No, I just feel terrible
that we couldn't get together

the other night and, uh,
I miss you, you know.

But I'm free all night
if you wanted...

- Well... listen, I-I...-But
Michael was still stinging...

I'm in the middle
of a film meeting...

...over his son not making it
to the Ealing Club...

I've got these people in
politics involved and I just...

You know, I can't get away
this time, you know. Maybe...

...even though Michael
had lied to him about it first.

You know, just,
I'm a super busy guy.

- And back at the table...
- So...

I can't believe that a woman
would support this guy.

...Lindsay found herself
torn...

And I assume by being with him,
you just parrot his values.

- ...between who she was
with...-I don't appreciate you

saying that, okay?

I have my own values, Rebel,

and believe it or not, they're
closer to yours than you think.

...and who she wanted to be.

'Cause I do appreciate
you saying that.

But what do I know? I'm just
some shallow Hollywood...

Oh, God, I've got to get this.

It could be my agent.
Hello?

HERBERT:
Now that is one redhead

I do not want to have
sexual relations with.

(laughing)

- Well...
- So... are we having dessert?

- No.
- No. Uh-uh.

Well, I don't want to be the one
to say it,

but if we are not going
to have dessert,

- then I think I am going
to leave. -Oh, no.

But-but we're going to discuss
those new positions tonight.

Wasn't that the plan?

I think the best position for me
to be in tonight

is with my wife,

and tomorrow I'm taking my wife
and children

to see the beautiful
American ocean.

(diners applauding)

Lindsay started rethinking
her new life and that's when

she ran into the man
from her old one.

- Marky?
- Lindsay?

- Oh, Lindsay.
- Marky.

I did it.
I beat the system.

I got out my way.

I thought my brother asked
Warden Gentles

- to get you out.
- No, I mean from the Dumpster.

You wouldn't believe the
scallops they're throwing

away here, but I got out
of that Dumpster my way.

I've really missed you.

Yeah, I missed you, too.

I feel like I really lost my way
for a while.

Me, too.
It's almost like

maybe we shouldn't skip town
after this next one.

Next one? Another paint bomb?

No, a real one.

On the Cinco de Cuatro,
Love's boat is going to...

- Sink-o.
- ...go into the... Yes, sink-o.

See, the coast guard is going
to be busy that night,

so after it's done, we slip away

and make our way down to Mexico
and reunite with Mom.

I just have to find a boat
that won't get chorizo

- caught in the propeller.
- Lindsay was torn.

Her head was with Marky...

but it was Love who was close
to her heart.

So the next night at Cinco,
she felt she had no choice

- but to betray one
- Herbert.

- to protect the other.
- Hi. Um, listen.

I'm here undercover because
I have some inside information

that you really need
to know about.

But as it turned out,
Herbert had

some undercover information
for her, too.

I cannot be under the covers
with you anymore.

It's over between us.

My wife found out and I told her
there was nothing emotional,

that you were just a prostitute.

- I'm not a prostitute.
- Oh, I know, I know.

The point is, we are through.

Here's a little
severance package

for servicing my package.

Lindsay tried to throw
the money in his face,

but she didn't have
the muscle memory for it.

- She's keeping it.
- Oh, good.

And don't forget to vote.

This isn't over.

I'm not some taco
you can throw into the bay.

(grunts)

- Lindsay wanted to get back
- I can't do this.

at Love...

but not by blowing him up

and heading to Mexico to be
with Marky's awful mother.

And that's when she ran into
her own awful mother.

Mom. What are you doing here?

Lindsay.
I thought you were a hooker.

- Again.
- It's a wig.

No one recognizes me in it.

Oh, I recognized you.

Let me rephrase that
more kindly.

I hear you're hooking now
with Herbert Love.

- It's called hooking up.
- Oh.

And, yeah,
I got a little sidetracked,

but I know who I am now.

I'm back to being
severely liberal.

Well, like I said,

the one time you were nice
enough to visit me,

you are who you are--

a blonde, waspy
Orange County princess

who doesn't care about anything
but herself

and that's okay.

Ah, sarcasm.

No, I'm a Bluth
and so are you.

You really know
how to twist the knife.

But you are right about
one thing.

Lindsay was done
pretending to be red.

I don't need this anymore.

And she decided the best way
to get back

at her mother
and Herbert Love

was by working
for their mutual rival.

Lucille 2.
I've got great news.

I'm finally available to become
your campaign manager.

Oh, that's lovely, dear.

But I found someone
more qualified than you.

Hello, Lindsay.

Sally.

It was Sally Sitwell, a woman

who'd long been
Lindsay's rival.

- It's been a while.
- Mm.

How is she more qualified
than me?

She has integrity.

And look at this hair.

Look at this beautiful,
long hair.

I made you a banner.

Look, I can really help
this campaign.

You already have,
more than you know.

- Now, give her a little
show-and-tell. -Mm.

Show-and-tell?

Oh, she just means
these photos

of Herbert Love
with a mystery redhead

he's cheating on his wife with.

Who took these?

The first two were taken
by the security camera

in the Albertsons parking lot.

And the third was left in the
photo booth at the Ealing Club.

- God, that was a photo booth?
- Mm-hmm.

No one can know about this.

Oh, I'm afraid
they're going to.

Lucille has copies-- she wants
to go viral with this.

Herbert Love with his hooker?

She'll win for sure.

I can't let her do that.

I don't think you can stop her.

Anyway, it was so great
running into you again.

- Mwah!
- Lindsay was horrified

that the world would view her

- as Love's prostitute.
- Vote for Love. Vote for Love.

And then Lindsay ran into
someone else

- who was looking for Love.
- David. -Who are you?

I'm Cindy Featherbottom.

I've been looking for you.

Love's gone missing
and I've got to find someone

to jump onto that stage
and to show everyone here

that we are the party
that has complete con-con...

Complete con-con-con...

- con-con... Complete...
- ...trol?

Giant. ...trol.

And that's when Lindsay
found an opportunity...

- I'll do it.
- to put a spin on the looming

- photos scandal.-Oh, my God,
thank you, thank you.

And I'm so sorry about
that giant crack earlier.

Okay, raise the mics, everybody!
New speaker!

So, like many before her,

Lindsay would accuse
Herbert Love...

Can I have everyone's attention?

...of sexual harassment.

I am Herbert Love's
"key advisor."

(crowd cheering)

Uh, thank you, but...

But first she had to turn
his supporters against him.

Listen, I have a few things
I'd like to tell you

about Herbert Love.

Love wants to put up a wall.

- (cheering)
- No, no.

I mean, not just any wall.

A wall to keep out the Mexicans.

(cheering)

Oh, wow,
what a great crowd, uh...

And that's when
the blowback began.

- Checkmate!
- (angry shouting)

- (crowd cheering)
- But no, you don't understand.

He wants to separate...

Oh! (screams)

- Viva Méjico.
- That's my necklace.

(angry shouting, clattering)

What-what's going on?

The marauders, lady,
a bunch of young Mexicans--

they're taking over
Cinco de Cuatro.

They don't find it funny
anymore.

But that was my necklace.
I mean... God.

They don't belong here,
we belong here.

(cheering)

I mean,
someone should put up a wall.

But that's when Lindsay
found herself

- saying this...
- Yeah.

We should put up a wall.

- Put up this wall.
- (cheering)

Put... up... this wall.

ALL (chanting):
Put up this wall!

...which was originally
her mother's idea.

Although it was horrible news
for her father.

- Put up this wall!
- And that's when Lindsay

found out who she really was.

My name is Lindsay Bluth,
and this is who I am.

A Bluth, just like her mother.

She's a game changer.

(crowd cheering)

Herbert Love is discovered
in a coma.

They think it happened
during the blowback.

They found him behind
the Kick a Goat.

The doctors say he may come out
of it in a week to ten years.

So I have one question for you.

- Would you consider...
- Yes.

- Would you consider... -Yes.

- Would you consider...
- Yes.

Would you consider running
in his place?

- Yes.
- Fantastic.

Sweetheart,
could you work his thumb?

And she even gets
Herbert's endorsement.

And Annyong tries to stick

the Bluth family
for a tomato juice

that costs him $700

and ultimately his freedom.

Good-bye, Annyong.