All language subtitles for Arrested Development - 04x14 - Off the Hook

NARRATOR: It was Tres de Cinco,

or the day before Cinco de Cuatro,

and Buster Bluth had finally
found a family he fit in with.

Where's Mother? Ah.

Ah, way to go, way to go.

Hi. I know you've been down today,

so I brought you this.

They're for Cinco.

In case you wanted to make confetti

out of something other than the pictures

that they sell of the
chubby Linda Ronstadt.

I am so blessed to have you in my life.

I'm so blessed to have you in my life.

Just six weeks ago, I was a hot mess.

I was desperate for a mother,

and I don't think I could admit it.

NARRATOR: As you'll see,
he admits it plenty.

But now look at me.

I'm with a beautiful, elegant woman!

(both laugh)

And I think we should
take it to the next level.

Buster had come a long way
since his fear of boats...

(Buster whimpering)

- ... was conquered...
- (Bleep) baby.

And then rekindled, only to find himself

- facing a bigger fear.
- Oh, come on!

But his biggest fear wasn't confronting

a wet, loose seal; it was losing one.

Wait! She doesn't have her makeup!

I have her lipstick!

Mother!

- Michael.
- Yeah, it's a tough one

because there's about 400
witnesses that are ready

to throw her underneath the boat.

I don't think I can even help.

(Buster whimpering)

Buster was distraught,

- and made some foolish mistakes.
- Hey, Lupe.

- Oh, Buster.
- Like this.

Are you going to be all right?

- Oh.
- Uh, you want me to stay?

I was planning to visit with my family.

Oh, no, and just watch.

Mother is going to come

waltzing through that door any day now,

and she is going to be screaming,

"Make sure you frisk that girl before... "

I'll be fine.

- That's my perfume.
- Mm, good.

Okay, good. She wouldn't wear that.

When his father didn't return, either,

Buster stuck to his daily routine.

Ah.

You're welcome.

Laying out Mother's clothes...

All right.

♪ The vodka goes in, you
pour it in the other ♪

Making Mother's breakfast...

♪ The olive on top and
then you call your... ♪

♪ Mother. ♪

(chuckling): Oh, this is bugging me.

And amusing himself with little jokes...

Ah,finito.

He thought she'd appreciate.

Except for the hair.

You have reduced. (chuckles)

Well, you're not that skinny.

Welcome home, chubs.

(laughing)

Oh, you will kill me for that.

And I don't want that blood on my hands.

(shrieks, chuckles)

And with his mother gone, it was nice

to get a chance to use the sewing machine.

(chuckles, sighs)

Still, he found ways to
feel good about himself.

Buster, you always come through.

Oh, Mother, that's so nice.

No, no, no, no, no, I
mean it. It's amazing work.

- But he knew it wasn't real.
- Okay, I need to stop,

or I'm going to be committed.

At first.

What?

(gasps)

But that would take hours.

Oh, this is going to be just stunning.

You are always so right. (laughs)

And then the waiter came back,

and he said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Who are you?"

And I said, "I'm Buster Bluth.

That's the fourth time I've told you."

Soon, he had run out of food...

that he knew how to make.

But everywhere he looked, he found

mocking reminders of the woman he lost.

(gasps)

(gasps)

He did find some supplies

from one of his mother's "I
can quit any time" stints.

Oh, cute.

But the emotional lift was temporary.

And before long, things had gotten weird.

♪ Put the olive on top and
you set it down for Mother. ♪

To an uninformed observer,
it looked a little

like that Vince Vaughn movie Psycho.

Oh, I agree.

Dancing with the Stars has
gone completely downhill.

This pasta's way overcooked, Buster!

Well, you didn't leave me
the simplest recipe, Mother.

Finally, Lucille was
released under house arrest,

and everything returned to normal.

Oh.

I was just thinking about you.

NARRATOR: Now the story of a family

whose future was abruptly cancelled

and the one son who had no choice

but to keep himself together.

It's Buster's...

NARRATOR: Buster was
passing time with Lucille...

Chinchilla!

By playing games like Guess the Fur.

The one you got after Dad had the affair

with the chubby intern from Riverside.

You win again, Buster.

I know what's going to stump you.

Oh! (giggles)

Close your eyes tight and plug your ears.

Just plug one ear and press
the other one to the couch.

But after three months of being

cooped up with her youngest son...

Mother! Stop! Mother!

Lucille was growing restive.

No, Mother! If the alarm goes off

and they catch you, they'll
take you away forever!

I can't take it anymore.
I have to get out of here.

I don't care. I can't keep playing

Guess My Fur six times a day.

I need a smoke.

Right to the smokes, huh?

Give me a minute. Let me catch my breath.

And Buster refined a testimony

that was meant to spare Lucille from jail

at a legal defense strategy meeting

- slash graduation party.
- It's gonna be an eel!

MICHAEL: Congratulations, Mother.

You've managed to combine people's fear

of homosexuals and eels into one alibi.

And he'll be wearing his Army uniform

so I can pretend I'm proud of him again.

I couldn't find my Army uniform.

Oh, but I thought the jury might like it

if I show up as John-John Kennedy.

Oh, yeah, that went over great last time.

And it was offensive.

Half your testicle was
hanging out of that thing.

Good!

I'm glad they saw it.

It was like a Motherboy Ball, right?

BUSTER (high-pitched): Hmm?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Put on your new uniform... with long pants.

And keep your ball joke to
yourself, Andrew Dice Clay.

So you can see why I need

the testimony of someone
who's not a hot mess.

- BUSTER: You're a hot mess!
- You're a hot mess!

MICHAEL: Let me get this
straight... you won't let me

help with your case...

And the night before the trial,

tensions had only gotten worse.

You need me just as much
as I need you, cookie.

Oh, really?

Because you can be replaced, you know.

Can she?

And even if you can't,
you're not the boss of me.

Can I go to... ? I'm going to the park!

Oh, Buster.

Hello.

Hello to you, too, 2.

Oh, look at all this produce.

I'm juicing now. Would you like to join me?

It's 2: 00 in the afternoon.

Honey, it's 8: 00 a.m. somewhere.

Oh, I forgot...

your mother wouldn't allow it.

(loudly): I don't care what she wants.

(quietly): Don't care what she wants.

I don't do everything she tells me.

Let's get juiced.

NARRATOR: The next morning, Buster awoke

- with a vicious juice hangover.
- Oh.

Well, that was a freebie.

(gasps)

Mother's trial.

(whimpers loudly)

BUSTER: Key witness!

Key witness coming through.

I'm a key... I...

I was making two ban...

(whimpers)

MARINES: Late last night,
it was drizzling rain!

I'm a key witness.

(Buster whimpering)

Is it over?

No, no, the grab-a-crab fest just started.

Grab-a-crab?

Oh, ma'am, um... is... is there a verdict

in the "my mother stole
theQueen Mary"thing?

It's all up on the dailies board.

Dailies? What? Clam ch... (gasps)

LUCILLE: The fish is frozen here!

It's frozen! Do you really want
to spend $30 on frozen fish?

(gasps) Buster.

Where were you? This is all your fault.

No, I was making... was making a ban...

- I was making two ban...
- Save it.

I can smell the cran-apple
on you from here.

When... when are you coming home?

I'm serving three to five.

(gasps) Like the saltless pie?

I hope your juicy blender
bender was worth it.

Don't come to visit me
because I won't see you.

Oh, and good luck with your night terrors.

Now no one will be there
to hear your screams.

(screams)

Won't miss it!

Where... where do I go?

What do I do?

Where... where'd you get the pirate hat?

Where... where do I go?

NARRATOR: And so Buster
went back to the penthouse,

feeling guilty and alone.

And he couldn't bear to
relive the time he was there

without Lucille before.

I can't go through
another two days like that.

And that's how Buster
decided to make another go

at making another go at Lucille 2.

Buster.

My mother's gone away,

and I thought, you've always been like a...

- Girlfriend.
- Not what I was gonna say.

Anyways, I was over there,
and my friend's over here,

and I thought, maybe I should just move in,

because I love to hear
all about your medications

and ailments and whatnot.

Is that baby toe of yours still crawling

over the others like a weird weed?

Oh, Buster, how sweet of you to remember.

Oh, it's one of my night terrors.

But listen, Buster,

- before I invite you into my arms...
- Mm-hmm.

My bedroom, my bathtub with the railing...

- Mm-hmm.
- I have to ask you something.

Mm-hmm.

Are you sure you're ready for this?

So, that pretend kid's bedroom,
is that not an option... ?

No, that room is all storage now, honey.

So, yes or no?

Are you ready to let go of your mother?

NARRATOR: Buster thought he was,

although there was one ominous sign.

I am ready for that, Lucille.

Did you hear it?

Wait. Did you just drop
the 2 after my name?

(laughing): Oh, I hope not.

That would be creepy.

Before you accidentally skip back too far

and wind up in the middle
of the Maeby episode,

trust me, no "2" was spoken.

Every day, Buster visited the prison

where his mother was incarcerated.

Buster Bluth and pie for his m...

(sighs) Lucille Bluth.

Hmm...

And every day, she refused to see him.

LUCILLE: No.

BUSTER: Oh.

She doesn't want to see you.

Excellent.

(crying)

He even pretended to be

an old college flame of
Lucille's to gain admittance.

Hello.

Alex Trebek?

She then rephrased it in
the form of a question.

Who is Alex Trebek?

Buster.

- No, Buster.
- Mm-hmm.

Do you have a pie or a
small sponge cake available?

- Ah. Thank you.
- Here you go.

And while his days were spent trying to get

- his mother to love him...
- LUCILLE 2: Oh, Buster!

- You're just in time.
- ... his nights were consumed

with getting his lover to mother him.

I hope you are in the
mood for a hot tomato.

Mmm. Soup?

With little grilled cheese
sandwiches on the side.

Buster, that was innuendo.

- Oh.
- My Lord, it's like

we're speaking different languages here.

No, it's not.

It is working.

I'm getting hungry.

For love?

Oh, God, is this another

one of those nights where
nothing is as it seems

and there's no cream pie for dessert?

Holy Toledo, Buster, sometimes I think

I'm nothing but a Horn & Hardart to you.

Oh! What happened to innuendo?

Let's do it quick.

It's an old restaurant.

(laughing): Oh! A restaurant!

I don't care if it's old!

Look who I'm dating!

Let's go there. Let's go there now.

Buster, you can either
be a son or a lover...

and right now, you're
no good to me as a lover.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe this has been wrong from the start.

- So... Mom.
- Out.

And since he couldn't bear

- to go back to the penthouse...
- Out!

You know, if tomorrow, you don't open up

and let someone else in...

Buster needed to raise some money.

(on TV): then the
treasures you have inside...

This is my Motherboy Four medal.

That's when I was a kangaroo in her pouch.

What'll you give me for it?

But Buster wasn't the first
Motherboy to hit hard times.

What will you give me for these?

All-time low.

And that's when Buster found inspiration.

She certainly looks proud of her son.

(singsongy): I'm back!

As it turned out, Buster
returned on the very day

the Army policy regarding
sexual orientation had changed.

- Are you gay?
- No.

- You can tell me.
- I'm not.

SOLDIER 2: It's okay.

Drew, tell him.

- I'm gay.
- Oh.

- Peter's gay.
- Oh...

- Sergeant Melnick's gay.
- Oh.

(sighing): Bi.

Oh, sorry, he's bi.

No, I'm going home for the day.

I'm gay.

Yeah, it really makes no difference to us.

- We'll find something for you.
- Perfect.

I was looking for something.

You said "something," right?

And that's how Buster officially

reenlisted in the Army.

And it's why, six months later,

- SOLDIER: Lucille Bluth.
- Lucille Bluth

got some bad news.

Yes?

I'm here to see you about your son.

Oh, this is a ploy.

He's trying to get me to see him.

How do I know you're really in the Army?

Who did Larry Kert replace in Company?

I don't know.

I know who he thought he was replacing,

and it was Dean Jones.

But he didn't come close.

(shudders anxiously)

My Buster?

And Lucille rushed to the hospital.

What happened? Where's my son?

Mrs. Bluth, your son went
down while piloting a plane

- over Afghanistan.
- Oh, my God...

He deserves a big hand for
that and we gave him one.

I'm afraid, besides that,
there's nothing we can do.

(Buster gasps)

Hi, Mother.

Well, you look fine.

The doctor said you went down

while piloting a plane over Afghanistan.

Oh, yeah, that plane was in Afghanistan.

It seems the Army had taken advantage

of Buster's childlike interest in games.

This is so much more
fun than "Guess the Fur."

And his childlike inability to distinguish

- between games and reality.
- Oh! (laughs)

So they set him up as a drone pilot here.

Want to go to lunch, Private Bluth?

Not till I take out the hospital!

I tell you, this kid's amazing.

If I had him back in the '60s,
Cuba would be the 51st state.

You're not gonna get away
from me, little nurse! Aah!

He had been playing for 47 straight hours.

Take that, Taliban
wedding! (laughing wildly)

But like anyone who plays
video games for too long,

he started to make mistakes.

Hey, Bluth, you just took
out an art museum in Madrid.

Oh, you can go to Spain in this thing?

Maybe you should take a break.

You could've hurt some innocent people.

Innocent people?!

(gasps) You mean I've been

hurting guilty people?!

But Buster was a peaceful man.

(Buster screaming) Oh, God!

Pilot down!

- (alarm wailing)
- Medic!

It was the kind of emergency

that the drone pilot paramedics
had long been waiting for.

I got a man down!

Sorry we're late.

Some kid swallowed an
eye at the Build-A-Bear.

Why do they have us at a mini-mall?

- (defibrillator clacks, whines)
- It was the first

known injury to a drone pilot

and the Army took it seriously.

Apparently, no one told him
that they were real planes.

If this guy comes after us,

they could pull funding
for the whole program.

So, how do we buy off ol' One Arm?

First we gotta find something he needs.

Well, we do have the bionics program.

Ice cream.

Maybe we shouldn't be discussing this here.

Yeah, I think we're at those kids' table.

So you fell out of a chair,

and for this, the government
gives you applause?

No... a big hand.

I thought I recognized
that little son of a bitch.

This is why you can't keep a job

(muffled): at one hospital!

Why does it have to be so big?

Well, they said the
miniaturization comes later.

I mean, you remember how big
your first cell phone was.

That was a phone.

This looks like you're pointing
to a place that buys your gold.

I haven't learned how to control it.

They're gonna work with me.

So you had me come out
here under false pretenses?

You wouldn't come here any other way!

You haven't seen me in a year.

It's why I went to Army... to win you back.

You have to forgive me!

It's not about forgiving
you. Although I don't.

- (groans)
- You need to grow up, Buster,

because I can't take care of you anymore.

I need to "get away-get away."

You're hopelessly hopeless, Buster.

It's as if they wrote
that song for my own son.

- Hm?
- I'm glad you have a new hand.

But you need to find
someone else to hold it.

Tell the prison limo to come around!

Fine! I got my own family now... Army!

And they want me!

You guys want me, right?

Oh, yeah. They're not gonna invest

this kind of money without
wanting you for keeps.

- (laughing): Oh, good.
- Once you learn how to use

that thing, they're going to turn you

into a killing monster.

Monster... ?

This doesn't make me look sexy.

Throw it out.

Well, that explains the photo shoot.

And so Buster began a rehab program

he was terrified to succeed at.

Open the cabinet, please.

Mm... mm... mm... mm!

Oh...

Too hard.

Uh, I think that was too hard.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Let's just grab that toothpaste.

Okay.

- Use your new hand.
- Okay.

Oh!

I got some on you.

Uh... yeah.

- You did get some on me.
- Yeah.

- Too hard?
- Buster seemed slow to master the challenges.

GUNNER: Yeah, that's... that's on her.

- He got a little...
- It was too hard.

I think it was, as well.

Let's go ahead and fast-forward
through the commercials.

Okay, that's too fa... okay, stop.

Well, there's Jon Cryer.

Stop! That's Jon Cryer!

(remote blipping)

Well, look at that...

we're back at the
Progressive Insurance lady.

I'm better off just
watching the commercials!

Don't say that.

But behind the two-way mirror,

hope wasn't in abundance.

Hope this guy likes the music
acts on Saturday Night Live

because he's gonna be
watching a lot of them.

- How many remotes do we have?
- That was the only one.

There's seven monitors
here... we have one remote.

Do we have anybody from Pinky Team?

PHYSICAL THERAPIST: Guys, he can't do this!

And around week five,
the Army finally realized

that Buster was in no hurry to leave.

Aah! I blew it again!

I'll never do it right!

I'm a monst...

Do you have any ice cream?

Maybe it would work with ice cream.

And now he wants ice cream.

He's using us.

Yeah, it might be time for the Q-test.

The Q-test?

Oh...

I'm sorry, we're running behind
with your testing, Buster.

We'll just be a few more minutes.

Okay.

(gasps) Oh... well... !

And it was then that Gunner learned why

- it was called the Q-test.
- Oh.

Aren't you the "cu-test"?

COLONEL: Now, he can't see
us at all... that's correct?

- (cat meowing)
- BUSTER: I know!

GUNNER: Why wouldn't he be able to see us?

- BUSTER: You looking around?
- Because it's a mirror.

No, it's a window.

- (cat purring)
- BUSTER: Oh, hi.

COLONEL: Okay, let's take it down.

BUSTER: I know, I know...

COLONEL: Send in the authority figure.

- Hi.
- (cat purring)(Door opens)

(clears throat)

How are you managing
with that hand, solider?

(Buster gasps)

(cat meowing, Buster whimpering)

(cat meowing)

(Buster whimpers)

Buster was being discharged from the Army.

So, where am I supposed to go?

What am I supposed to do?

I... I have nowhere to live.

You should've thought about that
before you let that cat live.

- And that's when he met Ophelia Love...
- Oh, I'm sorry.

The devoted wife of the
candidate Herbert Love,

- who was on a tour...
- I have nowhere to go.

- Of the Veterans' Hospital.
- Excuse me.

You're a veteran and
you have nowhere to go?

Oh, it's not Army's fault.

I'm a monster.

And what makes you think you're a monster?

What do you see when you look at this?

I see a veteran whose
hand I'd like to shake.

Not that one.

I think you should meet my husband.

We may have something for you.

Perfect! Wait, you didn't
say "nothing," did you?

- Something.
- "Something." Got it.

HERBERT: Look how big his hand is.

But Herbert would be less enthusiastic.

And you want him to live with us?

Well, he's a vet, Herbert.

And you yourself said you need something

to compete with the woman
you're running against.

Lucille 2 had recently adopted
a Hispanic boy named Perfecto.

And since you're never around, I mean,

he could help me with the boys.

It's like that movie The Blind Side.

I suppose we could use
a Blind Side Monster.

Well, we shouldn't call him a monster.

That's why I love you, Ophelia.

You've got a heart as big as
that Blind Side Monster's hand.

(boy screaming)

- (gasping)
- Oh!

And so it was decided

Buster was to stay with the Love family.

He's fine. He's fine. He's fine.

- Welcome to the family.
- Oh!

He'd found a home at last.

- Oh!
- Oh! Uh-uh, uh-uh!

(all laughing)

In the following weeks,
Buster came in handy

to the entire Love family:

- Helping the boys at school...
- (School bell ringing)

This table is for National
Honor Society members only.

Really.

Well, what about these two guys?

Were they invited?

Light drizzle...

and thunder.

- What?!
- See, light drizzle will just annoy you

but, you see, thunder... will "F" you up!

This got the attention of Perfecto Telles,

vice president of the
student anti-bullying squad.

Buster even received a
badge from an undercover cop

that was posing as a teacher.

You're never too old
to stand up to a bully.

Whether he's an attention
hog who looks just like you,

or whether he's half your size.

(growls, giggles, screams)

He used his finely-honed
skills as a doting son

to give the long-neglected Ophelia

some much-deserved attention.

Pour in the liquor...

Don't want the boys to see...

You throw in some cola...

Got a Coke and Hennessy!

(laughs)

Just for you, Mother Love.

- Buster...
- Mm...

You are the most considerate
man I've ever met.

Oh, stop! You're embarrassing me!

And sweet and...

No, I'm serious... stop, stop.

But your other hand is waving me on.

Oh, is that going again?

I think it's on demo.

Do you have a pencil or a paper clip?

And he helped Herbert
on the campaign trail.

Let me show you what a
government handout looks like.

Hold your government hand out.

Yeah! And let's give
freedom from government

a big thumbs-up!

Although the hadn't
achieved complete mastery.

- Come on, Buster, dance!
- I don't want to dance.

Come on, dance, Buster!

Buster was enjoying his new role

as a symbol of government waste.

It's like I said about contraception:

If you want me to pay for her diaphragm,

- I get to put my hand in her...
- Shoe!

Nice stop, Blind Side Monster.

Buster... Blind Side Buster.

And he was feeling more
confident every day.

Mm!

HERBERT: Okay...

Give him a big hand back!

(applause)

Arguably, too confident.

HERBERT: Hey!

(Buster giggling)

Okay, hey, hey... Oh-ho!

BUSTER: Hah! Hm! (giggles)

Although, after this appearance,

he spent a lot less time with Herbert.

And a lot more time with Ophelia.

- (people screaming)
- Which is what led to this.

That's funny, no smoke came out.

Smoke?

Wait, what just happened?

This.

Okay, okay, okay.

So you don't think that the next level

is adult adoption, do you?

Come on, Buster.

You've been flirting with me since day one.

What?

Bringing me these flowers,

offering to undress me.

What about the singing?

"Sealed with a kiss" through
the door while I bathed?

Right.

Mother stuff. (chuckles)

(whispers): I mean, you're married.

What is this?

That is my husband, with a prostitute.

I've worn a captain's hat with
someone who had hair like that.

But I... I can't...

I mean, you're like a mother to me.

You can either be a son or a lover to me.

- (gasps)
- And I already have two sons.

And perhaps it was the fear
that she'd throw him out,

or he finally did grow up,

but that night, Buster acted like a man.

NARRATOR: After spending
the night with Ophelia Love,

Buster proudly went to visit his mother.

I came here to thank you.

You were trying to push
me out of the nest...

and you were right.

- Really?
- Yes.

I've grown.

And I'm in love.

Hamster or turtle?

(laughs): No, Mother.

Hamsters are gross.

It's a female.

Human. Female human. Whole thing.

So your parental
responsibilities are complete.

Hot.

I no longer need you.

Well, you don't have to go that far.

I'm not a mother boy anymore.

I'm a mother man.

Use your good hand.

Guards!

And on his way back to his new love,

Buster ran into Michael,

who was trying to get the life story rights

from one of the few
remaining family members

he hadn't thrown out of the movie.

What about Mom?

I have her, but I'm about to

throw it in her face when I see her,

and I can't go to my son.

Well, I have nothing to be ashamed about.

I'm in love.

And do you want to hear
something so surprising?

She started out as my mother figure.

- Not surprising.
- And he returned back

to his love nest to tell
Ophelia the good news.

I'm out of the thing!

How did yours go?

- It's over.
- (Sighs)

I talked to Herbert, I told
him everything about us,

and it's over.

Mm. I know it's scary.

I just got out of a long relationship, too.

But I'm here for you.

And, girl, I ain't going nowhere.

I need you to leave.

Mm, so let's get it o... !

Wait, what's happening?

He wants to try to change.

He wants a second chance,
and I want to give it to him.

What...

So you... you were just
using me to hurt him?

Yes.

(whispers): Thank you.

But what... what about me?

What happens to me?

I... I certainly can't go
back to you as my mother.

After I've zipped down, you
can't expect me to zip up!

I know that.

But you have to leave.

Oh, no, I'm okay with the mothering.

I mean, he had you first, I'm here to stay.

It's just a little
mother/son bump in the road.

Mother, I ain't going nowhere.

Your hand is broken again.

No, it's just my heart.

Oh, it's my hand, too, actually.

I'm sorry, Buster.

Buster was blindsided.

Ophelia!

Tell me this.

Who is a better lover?

- He is.
- He is. Okay.

What about son?!

Buster was hurt.

And perhaps that's why he availed himself

to the photos of Herbert
and the prostitute.

And Buster, furious,

decided to expose Herbert himself.

(wailing)

But not before using the wrong hand

to punch a picture of Herbert.

Stupid Bust... !

Unfortunately, it was the night of Cinco,

and no one was home to find him.

Sad. Sad.

(grunts)

Buster came to and rushed
to Cinco to share the photos

with Herbert Love's political enemy,

when he ran into Tobias,
who enlisted Buster's help

for a musical that was becoming
less fantastic every minute.

But I've got to find Lucille 2,
I've got to give her pictures.

- I don't know the songs.
- It's prerecorded.

You're a monster, you
don't have to be any good.

- What?
- Now just go Thing your heart out

and don't be put off by
the freakishly large...

What... Oh, God!

Okay, well, well, good.

Then just the, uh, the one glove will do,

and, uh... perfecto!

(chuckles)

As fate would have it,

Perfecto Telles was also
in need of a monster.

He's a bully. So I want
you to "bad cop" him

for me a little, okay?

Yeah, yeah.

And that's when he heard his name.

Perfecto!

And he's a real bully.

He's taking money from this
innocent young high school girl.

Ugh, I don't think I can help you.

- Please.
- (Whispers): I don't want to be

- a monster anymore.
- Can't you just

show him a little thunder?
Just to scare him a bit?

And that's when Buster saw
the woman he'd come for.

I'm sorry.

I have to take care of something.

Lucille 2.

- I've been looking for you.
- Buster!

You look different;
something's happened to you.

Yes.

I've been with a black woman.

I was talking about your hand.

Oh. This huge thing? Yeah, it's new.

Of course, the week after
I got it, the six came out.

You can play a flute with that one.

It comes with a flute!

But I'm not here about that.

I'm here about this.

What is this?

Oh, just pictures of Herbert
Love with a lady of the night.

And he's gotten himself in some
pretty hot ham water this time.

I want you to humiliate
him and win the election.

That's my wig.

Buster, this is priceless;
why are you giving it to me?

Because I want to hurt him.

I've never known you
to want to hurt anybody.

Well, I hurt my mother, didn't I?

I missed her trial, and
she cut me out of her life.

- But I'm over that!
- Really?

Then you have me to thank for that.

- What do you mean?
- Oh, Buster,

you think missing her
trial was an accident?

Yes.

Buster, I helped you with that.

Although "helped" might not be

the best description of what she did.

In fact, she'd been laying in wait for him.

Oh, Buster!

Hello!

And once she'd gotten
Buster into the apartment,

she eschewed the all-natural
juice for the kind

with cartoon animals
and riddles on the box.

The type Buster had been
known to have a weakness for.

Thank you.

And soon, the partying was off the hook,

with Buster drinking right out of the box.

Oh, this is just like Mother's Day Eve!

- (laughs)
- (Playing piano off-key)

Although, at one point,

he did have something close to an insight.

I mean, how do you miss a sign like that?

Oh.

I was tinkling!

(laughs)

You kept me from mother?

You sent her to prison?

And this whole time, I thought about

getting back together with you.

Well, you're a little late, honey.

I've been dating your father
for the past couple of weeks.

(growls)

Buster was in a whirl.

Confused and betrayed, he
wanted to punch something.

Which is why he went here.

Hey! I need to punch something!

Even if it is a poor little donkey.

But it wasn't that kind of donkey punch.

(gasps)

Oh, I need some juice.

(sighs)

Perhaps uno mas, señor,
to feed to the fishes?

Gene Parmesan.

This is not my real job.

And that's when Buster heard his target.

HERBERT: I got to go up and give my speech.

You!

Oh, hey, it's the Blind Side Monster.

(yells)

And so he blindsided him and became one.

(shrieks)

And it was amidst

the rampaging of the blowback

that a juiced-up Buster
noticed something horrifying.

(firecrackers popping, whistling)

(screaming)

(gasps)

(sobbing)

(panting)

Oh, no.

I'm in the movie.

(whimpers): Oh, no.

(knocking)

Buster tries to cover his tracks.

Hey, nephew!

- (screams)
- New hand.

It's cool. That's cool.

You know that super-duper
privacy software you have?

Does that work on security cameras?

Of course, yeah.

Works on everything.

May I borrow it?

One second.

Here you go, Uncle Buster. I put it on

a hard drive for you. Just
please be careful with it.

(laughs): Of course, of course.

(crunching)

(whimpers softly)

Have you got one with a case?

BUSTER: Hey, Carl.

Buster!

And Buster visits

a Balboa Towers guard
he'd known for many years

for an impromptu lesson

on how their footage
is gathered and stored.

May I use your phone?

But when Carl steps away,

Buster goes into action

and attempts to Fakeblock the footage.

- (steady ticking)
- Oh.

Sounds like it's working.

(sighs)

(grunting rhythmically)

(steady ticking continues)

(gasps)

Buster.

Hey, Carl.

- Everything okay?
- Mm-hmm.

Bye, Carl.

- Bye-bye, Buster.
- Okay.

(grunting rhythmically over video)

What she did to this boy.

- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -