All language subtitles for Grey s Anatomy - 11x19 - Crazy Love.HDTV.x264-LOL.en

Love.

Neuroscience tells us

it activates the same parts of the brain

as habit-forming addiction.

It makes us feel like
we can do anything,

be anything, achieve anything.

And once we taste it...

We want more.

You want to go again?

I guess not. Bailey's up.

What if I change my flight?

I could come by the hospital
before I get to the airport,

and we could find an
empty on-call room and...

Huh?

I have work to do at work.

I can't do you, too.

Okay, well, then it's settled.

- Let's go again now. Come on. Come here.
- No! Absolutely not!

You are terrible!

Terrible influence!

We are getting up now.

Come on.

I know.

- What?
- Why don't you make yourself useful

and go change Bailey's diaper?

You're a tease.

And you are terrible!

Have you seen my phone?

It's in your hand.

Not this one. This one's mine.

The government one, the
one I have to return.

- I don't know where I put it.
- Couch cushions?

Hey, Zola, hurry up, honey,

or you won't have time to eat breakfast!

Are you nervous?

It's not like you go to prison
if you don't return the phone.

I mean, I don't go to
prison for that, right?

No, I meant resigning.

Giving up your job isn't
a small thing to do.

Well, it is. In comparison
to everything here, it is.

- But...
- Meredith, I meet with

the President's Council in the morning.

I give them my final report,

my official recommendation,
and then I'm done.

I'll be home before you know it.

It's good. It's time.

Oh! Hey!

You're... here.

Yeah, we live here.

But you had a flight.

And you... yesterday
you were going on and on

about some early surgery that you had.

The point is, you're
not supposed to be home.

So...

My surgery got pushed, and...

Uh, weren't you wearing that yesterday?

Amelia, you forgot your ce...

Hmm. Hey, uh...

I was just, um...

Her... her cellphone was...

Thank you.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Who wants breakfast? Anybody?

- We have coffee.
- Well, I should...

Uh, yeah, um, I'm... I'm gonna go.

Hey, little guy!

Look who's here!

Want to go find your sister?

All right. Let's go.

So, your sister and Owen?

- She told me last night.
- You knew?

Your sister's doing Owen
and you didn't tell me?

I was supposed to tell you that?

Yes!

I don't even remember
where I put my phone.

Now I have to remember
someone else's sex life?

I got to get to...

I'm gonna be l... Oh, okay.

So, we're gonna go again, huh?

Oh. Hey.

Best wife ever.

- Hmm.
- Mwah.

I just wish, I don't
know, you could stay

or I could come with you or something.

I'll be back soon. You know that.

I know. I know.

I just feel like I just got you back,

and now you're going again,

and I-I just have to stay here.

You're right. You do.

You have to... stay here.

Don't move.

Wait for me.

I'll be back before you know it.

Okay.

Oh! Hey!

Did you see that?

See what?

It was like he didn't even see me.

I was supposed to see a guy not see you?

No, no. We went on
a date... Ethan and I.

It was a good date. We had fun.

We talked for hours. We laughed.

But then at the end of the
date, there was no kissing.

And you're pissed.

No, there wasn't even
an attempt at kissing.

See, you're pissed if we try,

you're pissed if we don't try.

No, but then no phone call, no text,

no, "Hey, second date?"

And now he is actively not seeing me.

Hmm, I'm actively not
seeing my cop anymore.

You guys went out already?

Yep. We went out on a date. It was bad.

Well, at first, it wasn't that bad.

He was all, "I save lives,
and I wear a uniform."

And then I realized I save
lives, I wear a uniform,

and I'm not boring.

No second date for him.

Okay, so, uh, what is it?

Tell me. Lay it out.

Uh, am I hideous?

Am I... am I... Do I have bad breath?

What is the problem here?

Why me?

Because you're a guy.

Exactly. I'm a guy.

- Just tell me.
- Go away!

Oh.

Hey.

So, you and Owen...

Uh...

Is there an end to that?

I don't know. You tell me.

I-I-I don't know what to tell you.

Um, Owen and I...

A-are getting to know each other.

How well?

"Pants on" or "pants off" well?

Is it just sex, or is
there something more?

Meredith, what is this?

I don't know. I'm asking you.

I don't know what we are yet.

Okay, well, that's what I'm afraid of.

Listen, Cristina asked
me to watch out for him.

I promised I would,

so I just want to make sure that...

That I don't ruin him?
Is that what you mean?

That you're careful for
your sake and for his.

Hey.

Uh, I am on your service today.

You got anything good?

Ooh, is that a split spine?

A complete spondylolisthesis?

Is that what we're doing today?

No.

Oh, okay.

Well, then, what are we doing?

Nothing. You and I are doing nothing.

I don't want a resident today.

I don't need company, so you should go.

But I'm on your service...

For the love of God,
just do something else

and stop bugging me.

Marissa McKay...

arrived complaining of
severe lower back pain.

Her pediatrician dismissed it

as a combination of growing pains

and soreness from athletic activity.

Marissa's one of the best
junior golfers in the country.

The... the best.

It's true.

First place in the NJGAs last year.

- Marissa, honey...
- What?

Coach Rubin said

there's no apologies
for being excellent.

And I am... I'm excellent.
What's wrong with that?

Absolutely nothing.

However, your X-ray does show

a severe misalignment of
your spine right here, okay?

It's supposed to look straight
like a piece of bamboo.

But yours is completely
bent. See that zigzag?

You've seen swinging a club with this?

I try to tell her to
take it easy, but, uh...

You've been pushing through the pain.

If I played football or soccer,
you wouldn't be surprised.

You'd be impressed.

I haven't lost a
tournament in four years.

I'm up for five athletic
scholarships at schools

none of my genius friends
can even get accepted to.

So, what can we do to fix her spine?

Well, Dr. Torres and I will
have to do a few more tests

before we can come up
with a plan of attack.

As long as it doesn't
affect my game, I'm in.

We will see what we can figure out.

Excuse us.

Mm.

She just kicked you off the case?

No, first she bit my
head off for no reason.

Sometimes she can be a little crazy,

and I just don't know if I'm
equipped to work under crazy!

Oh, wah.

- The new neuro-God's protégée
- Ohh!

... can't handle a little inconsistency.

- Shut up.
- So maybe you're not

Shepherd's protégée.

Maybe Herman's surgery
was a one-time thing.

Have you thought about
other options besides neuro?

What do you feel really good about?

That's the problem.

I'm really good at everything.

Help! Please! Help us!

He's hurt! We need a doctor! Somebody!

I can't... I need to sit down.

It's okay! I've got you, Chef!

Sir, you need to let go

so we can see where the bleeding is!

Ahh! My wife!

Here. Take this.

- Sir, please hold still.
- My wife.

Your wife is fine, Sir. Just hold still.

Here.

Okay. Please lie back down.

We need to check out this cut.

My wife!

Were you and your
husband in an accident?

- He's not my husband.
- Here. Just...

- Edwards, anything?
- No, no visible abdominal wounds.

Sir, would you please let us...

- My wife!
- We can call your wife.

- No!
- No!

My wife cut off my penis.

Here.

Well, that's a big one.

Oh, God!

- Synced and Corrected by Retrojex -
- Addic7ed.com -

Let's run a CBC Chem 7

and get 2 units of blood ready to go.

What's the penis status?

Dorsal veins look good.

Get it debrided and in
saline gauze quickly.

- Oh, god! Aah!
- More pain meds! Fentanyl 150 I.V.

And we need to pack him.
Cellulose polymer. Gauze!

And as you can see,

Dr. Kepner is doing the
groin tourniquet method

as I was telling you about,

and Dr. Edwards is attending
to the severed... appendage.

Bleeding's under control for now,

but we're gonna need a
specialist to reattach.

Catherine Avery's on the west coast

at a conference in San
Francisco this week.

I thought I'd see if she could come up.

Is she good?

She's... very good,
but so is Dr. McMurdo

in our urology department here.

Call him instead.

The urethra is very ragged.

Catherine's skin flap
reattachment technique

would greatly increase the odds
of a successful reattachment.

Well, then I want that!

I want the one with
the superior technique!

I've worked with subpar technicians,

line cooks who couldn't put out a plate.

I assure you, Dr. McMurdo
knows all the techniques.

- Okay, but I...
- All right, everybody.

Let's give them some room
to work, okay? Let's go.

- Have you finished prepping the phallus?
- About.

Okay, then I need you to
get it to Jackson A.S.A.P.

While everything is still viable.

Every second we wait,
more healthy flesh dies.

He's in procedure room four.
He knows you're coming. Go!

Excuse me! Pardon me!

That's a hell of a gash.

Did his wife do this, too?

Sort of.

I was the one who found Thomas.

And I went to put my
knives down at my station,

and there he was, lying
in a pool of blood.

He wasn't moving. I didn't
know if he was alive or dead.

I ran over, and it was so slippery,

I fell, too, and hit my face
on the damn induction range.

Marcia is a crazy woman.

She's not crazy.

She attacked you and injured you badly.

I know, but I don't
want to call the police.

I don't want to press charges.

Excuse me! Pardon me! Move, move!

Coming through! Coming through!

Thomas didn't deserve this.

All those great reviews
are not because of her.

Marcia is an owner. Thomas
Archibald is an artist.

I can't let this get out.

Bad for business.

Wait. Thomas Archibald,
as in the Thomas Archibald?

I-I've been trying to get a reservation

at that place for months.

He's on his way up, and
he's taking me with him.

I'm his sous-chef.

Gah!

Marcia is trying to destroy everything.

Uh, okay.

And by the way, it wasn't an accident

that after she cut it off,

she dumped it into the
stock pot at my station.

You know what happened.

Do you want to eat food
from my kitchen now?

So...

Are you two together?

Will it still work...

After they put it back on?

Coming through! Move!

- Watch out!
- Hey, slow down!

She has a temper.

She's insane.

She's not a criminal.

She should be locked up.

But she won't hurt me again.

I'm here. I got it.

I got your package...
I mean, your patient.

The penis.

Your patient's penis.

In the package.

I mean, not your penis.

Can you give it to me?

You already irrigated the
urethra and the vessels?

- Yeah, in the trauma room.
- Nice work.

That makes a big difference
with dismemberments like this.

Sure. No problem. It wasn't hard.

I mean, it's not a big thing.

I mean, it was easy.
I was just in and out.

- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.

- I'm gonna go now.
- Please.

Let's get P.A. and
lateral chest X-Rays.

And, you, sit tight,

and we will figure out
what's going on, okay?

- Will you go get those films for me?
- Why?

Oh, right. 'Cause the
radiologist doesn't like you.

Maybe no one likes me.

Maybe I'm unlikable.

And I will die alone,
and my vagina will dry up

and grow brittle and turn to dust

and just blow away in a soft breeze.

And no one will know.

Oh, God.

I know. I'm hideous. I'm a troll.

All my orgasms are gonna be
self-made, handcrafted ones.

I'm all I got.

Dr. Webber, did you always know

you were gonna do general surgery?

Uh, I knew pretty early on, yeah.

Okay, but how did you know it
was the right place for you?

Did you ever consider anything else?

How did you choose it?

Well, I guess I didn't, really.

It chose me.

Uh, the... the patient
was a 54-year-old man.

A small bowel obstruction...
Nothing out of the ordinary.

My attending allowed
me to resect, and...

That's when it happened.

The clamps were in, cuts had been made.

I reached into the body cavity,

past the omentum, around the liver,

and lifted the intestinal loops

from that living, breathing body.

And that's when I knew.

I mean, holding those...

Those loops of intestines in my hand...

The weight, the warmth...

I looked down at that
miracle in my hand,

and... I just knew.

General surgery had chosen me.

Mm.

Well, one day, you'll know, too.

So, I'm seeing two rods
on either side of the spine

to preserve nerve root function.

Yeah, no, I get that. I get it.

But I can do a graft on two levels.

But then I can place a frozen graft

directly into the spine

and then add a metal support plate.

That will give her way more stability.

And you'd be severely limiting

the range of motion in her spine

when the point is to
keep her swinging, right?

This defect is so pronounced,

she might need to let that go.

I don't know if I'm
ready to let that go.

I mean, you're looking
at gross bone function,

but not thinking about the subtleties

of possible nerve impingement.

No, I think it's more
that I'm looking at

the stability she needs to
keep her from being paralyzed,

and that's where neuro
can sometimes underestimate

the fundamental biomechanics.

And I think that's where ortho

can tend to go a little overboard.

Ha, well, we know
bones. We do stability.

- You guys do brains.
- And we do nerves.

That's why you wouldn't hire a
carpenter to rewire your house.

- Whoa.
- Whoa. What is the real issue here?

What is this patient after?

Well, she wants to play golf.

No, she's a teenaged golf prodigy.

- Totally badass. But unfortunate...
- So she wants the maximum

preserved mobility we can offer her.

Putting her at risk
for a far worse injury.

Well, it seems like
Shepherd's plan works.

Chief Hunt, I think that her plan

underestimates the severity of...

We should do the minimum possible

to maintain the mobility
this patient wants

and then work up from there.

Right.

Well, back to the sawmill for me.

How is it?!

It was only in the stock
pot for two minutes!

Okay, good. Then I
want to see this penis.

But first I want to see
the man that it belonged to.

That is a nice, clean cut. Hmm.

I keep my knives sharp.

Huh. Well, it will make
reattachment much easier.

Will it ever... work again?

Mr. Archibald, I don't
want you to worry.

I've reattached many phalluses.

This... situation is not as
uncommon as you might think.

Your vessels and nerves are intact,

so chances are very good
that when I'm finished,

you'll be able to go right back to doing

whatever it is you were doing

before you got yourself into this mess.

Jackson's prepped the phallus,

and it's in the O.R. waiting for you.

And I'll be assisting during surgery.

His corpus cavernosum looks
pristine. I'm impressed.

You must have gotten it
debrided very quickly.

I ran.

With the penis.

Really fast.

Huh.

Following up on what
we saw in the E.R....

Dr. Avery.

What a surprise.

It can't be too much of a surprise

considering that I am one of
the world's leading experts

on penile reattachment.

Since I happened to
be in the neighborhood,

I just got on the first flight
here as soon as April called.

Well, then, how
fortunate that she called.

We hope this approach will give her

the mobility she needs to keep playing.

- At the same level I was?
- That's hard to say.

With adequate recovery time and rehab...

State's coming soon.

How soon will I get my swing back?

We'll just see, honey,
when they're done.

Right.

We know athletic
performance is your priority.

It's ours, too.

I am gonna do everything I can
to get you back on your feet.

And back on the fairway, right?

You know, it wouldn't be
the worst thing in the world

for you to take a little break, sweetie.

And... and do what? Go to the mall?

Pick out seven shades of
the same stupid red lipstick

like everyone else my age?

I take time off, I don't make state.

I don't make state, forget nationals.

The sooner you fix me, the
sooner I'm back on my feet.

Let's do it, Dr. Shepherd.

Sure. You heard her.
Whatever she'd like.

Okay. I'll see you in there.

Catherine.

Richard.

Where are your minions?

Prepping for my gallbladder
removal in O.R. 3.

You do understand that
I'm only here for...

The man who had this penis cut off?

Of course.

When I heard about it,
I thought of you first.

Hmm. As you should.

I am his best hope of
being a whole man again.

Patient's very lucky
that I was so close.

Well, in his position,

I have a hard time calling him lucky,

especially given his
regrettable choice in women.

Best of luck in there.

And... here are your chest films.

Thank you.

No.

No, thank you.

You went on a date with me,

and you never called me back,

and I think that is very
rude and very hurtful.

And I know that that is a thing

that people do sometimes, but...

People have feelings, you know?

And maybe you don't
care, but I have feelings.

And, you know, the least you could do

is not ignore me in the hallways

and make me feel like
some kind of pariah.

You're doing it again.

Doing what?

Talking.

You never stopped talking.

On our date, even for a second.

You talked the entire time.

From the minute I picked you up

to the minute I dropped you off.

You never shut up.

And amazingly, in all that talking,

you never asked me one question.

You don't know a single thing about me.

I didn't need to be there.

It wasn't even a date.
It was a monologue.

You went on a date with yourself.

And then you paid. You paid.

You did all the talking,
you ordered for me,

and then you paid, so...

Okay.

God, this is so much more severe
in person than in the scans.

- Can these rods hold through L5?
- No.

Th...

Shoot.

- Shoot.
- What?

I can't torque down the screws.

This won't keep the vertebrae
from slipping apart again.

- So, what do we do?
- We need to drill through the sacrum

and into the next vertebrae

and then insert a piece
of bone to anchor L5 to S1.

That sounds like exactly what...

Exactly what Torres was saying, yes.

Yeah, but can you do
that? Put in a bone graft?

No, Warren, I can't. I don't do bones.

Torres does bones, so we need Torres.

So, you're looking at...

I'm looking stupid is what I'm looking,

but I would rather look
stupid than paralyze this girl.

Go scrub out and find her.

Tell her that I think
she's right and great

and... smart and pretty.

I'm... I'm saying suck up a little!

It's gonna take them at least
10 hours to reattach that thing.

And what? It took his wife like,
what, a minute to cut it off?

She must have been really mad.

Ugh. You know, how do you get that mad?

Not long after I discovered

my ex-husband had been
e-mailing another woman,

we met for breakfast.

That was a big breakfast...

Stacks of pancakes, eggs,
and all kinds of fancy jams

he thought would somehow make it okay

that he was e-mailing another woman

- while he was married to me.
- Hmm.

I remember staring at the butter knife

I used to spread my fancy jam,

and for half a second,

imagined what the side of
his neck might look like

with the butter knife in it.

Fancy jams dripping down

the side of his fat,
e-mail, cheating neck.

Yep, I've been that mad.

I thought Derek was cheating
on me, and I got that mad.

"Two trauma surgeons and
an orthopod" kind of mad.

Hmm. No comment.

You know, cutting off a penis

isn't actually that big of a deal.

I mean, it's not like
needs it for survival

or to think or, like,
I don't know, to walk.

What?

Hey, it's my leg.

And, you know... And for the record,

I only thought about
maiming you once, Callie,

and I told you that
the second I thought it.

Thank you?

Look, the difference is,
we may think about it,

but we don't actually
dismember our spouses.

- No.
- Good to know.

Dr. Torres, Dr. Shepherd
needs you in the O.R.

As soon as possible.

It's for Marissa.

We can't get spinal alignment.

Oh, damn it.

Whoa. What's happening?

Spinal cord function is completely gone.

We need to decompress.

Warren said that you couldn't
get the spinal alignment.

After he left, the rod slipped.

The L5 joint was more
unstable than anticipated.

She's gonna be paralyzed.

Unless we get in there now.

All right, prep the table.
We need to flip her over.

What?

The only way we can stabilize her

is with an anterior approach.

I need to get to her
spine through her abdomen.

Okay, I need to close.

No, no, no. We don't have time for that.

Just shove a bacitracin sponge in there.

- Move that C-Arm.
- Over here.

All right, I need to get in there
now if she's gonna walk again.

We can't just turn her over.

One wrong move, we could sever
the spinal cord completely.

We don't have a choice.
We have to move fast.

Let's get ready to log-roll her.

All right, everybody get into place.

Watch those I.V. lines.

We need sterile towels.

Okay, I'm gonna pull the frame.

- Warren, you catch her, okay?
- On it.

All right. On my count.

One, two, three.

The annulus is completely disrupted.

I need a visual confirmation
the nerves are free.

Warren, I need more retraction

- on the aorta and the vena cava.
- No, wait... not yet.

Warren, I need you to set up
an intraoperative myelogram.

Uh, we can't wait for that.

The spine's too unstable.

Warren, I need an interbody spacer.

If the nerves are trapped
when you apply the spacer,

she will be paralyzed permanently.

- Warren, I need you to...
- O-okay, stop.

Stop.

All due respect, but I
can't set up a myelogram,

retract vessels, and get
a spacer simultaneously.

Now, I used to be an anesthesiologist.

I have logged I don't know
how many hours in the O.R.

And believe me, this is not
the first time that I've seen

two brilliant surgeons
duke it out over a body.

I am not getting in the middle of that.

So, I'm gonna stand here,

and I will happily proceed
as you both see fit,

but you are gonna have to
agree on what to do first.

Explain to me quickly why you
think we need to do a myelogram.

It's the only way to know for sure

if any of the nerve roots are trapped

before we realign the spine.

Okay, so I could start removing the disc

while you do an ultrasound?

Yes, and then you could reduce
the spine and hold it in place

- while I check the image.
- Fine. Let's try it. Warren.

Get the ultrasound probe draped.

Right away.

And remind me to put Warren on scut

when we're out of here.

- Will do.
- Mm-hmm.

Can you do me a favor, dear,

and just retract that a bit further?

Thank you.

Could you do me a favor?

If Dr. Webber asks,

maybe could you tell him
that the patient requested you

so I sort of had to call...

April, I'm not gonna lie.

You made the right call.

He's just gonna have to deal with it.

Edwards, join us at the field, please.

What year are you?

Third, Dr. Avery.

Okay, have you ever done
a phalloplasty before?

No. Not yet.

Well, it's high time you learned.

First, you take a saphenous vein graft,

like this.

Mm-hmm.

And you attach it to the neophallus.

This will provide the new
penis with a profuse blood flow.

Now... you.

Okay, first anchor the stitch.

Good. Now run the suture.

Good.

You might be aware, Edwards,

there's a shortage of
women in the urology field.

But there's no shortage

of female patients who
might prefer a physician

that has a more personal
understanding of the anatomy.

Okay, Edwards. That was...

Above average.

Oh.

You do understand

that that's just about the
highest compliment I give?

Ever.

Surgery went well?

What do you think?

Why do I even ask?

My work was impeccable.
It's all up to him now.

How do you mean?

When one suffers an
injury to his manhood,

recovery is always challenging...

Sometimes hopeless.

You all hold on to so much

of your fragile, little
self-esteem down there.

It's possible you may never bounce back.

Mm.

Sad, really.

The defect in your
daughter's spine was...

More extensive than we thought.

But we were able to realign her spine,

and with therapy,

she should be able to
walk again, even run.

So she'll never play golf again?

But she'll be alive.

She will be... mobile.

I wish that were enough, but it's not.

This is all she wants.

The only thing.

And I'm the unsupportive mom

who hired the crappy doctors

who couldn't deliver
the one thing she wanted

more than anything else in this world.

I'm so sorry. I... will talk to her.

My daughter...

was excellent.

You were supposed to be, too.

- Excuse me.
- Hey.

Amelia...

We did everything we could.

Come on.

We should have done it
your way from the beginning.

We should have started there.

She would be better off.

That is not true. Her defect...

My approach made things worse.

No, it didn't.

Amelia.

There you are. How did the surgery go?

I can't do this.

You okay?

No.

No, I am not.

You shouldn't have weighed in.

- I wish you hadn't.
- Excuse me?

You should have stayed out of it.

My approach was inferior.

And it cost my patient in...

terrible ways.

- What are you talking about?
- Can you tell me honestly

that you siding with me today
was only about that patient?

It had nothing to do with you and me?

Your plan was smart and solid

and more in line with
what the patient wanted.

- But why were you there?
- That is why I suggested...

Why... the only reason you
even walked into that room

was because you heard my voice
and you wanted to check on me

and see me because of
your personal feelings.

I know, because I would
have done the same thing.

Because we can't help
it. We are hard-wired.

Our brains change when we...

When we fall for another person,

our neurological pathways get altered,

and we make choices.

We make decisions,
whether we want to or not.

This... this is why it is not smart

to mix personal and professional.

Amelia, that is not what happened.

I left my home.

I left my job.

I have been trying
so hard to start over.

I have been fighting so hard
just to be taken seriously,

to do this job well.

That mom thinks that
I am a crappy doctor

who screwed her kid out of a future,

and she is not wrong,

because all of this
could have been avoided

if I had just...

If we had just kept our
professional lives professional,

but we didn't.

It was a mistake.

This is a mistake.

He's full of crap. Let it go.

All right, look, when you get
going, you can talk... a lot.

But it's... it's not
like you talk too much.

Say something.

It was humiliating.

Why? Because you have
more to say than him?

Look, he's... he's probably intimidated

'cause you're smarter than
he is and... and funnier.

Y-you're funny as hell.

You make me laugh
every time we hang out.

You've got that lispy thing and...

L-look, y-you're never gonna meet

a guy who doesn't like that lispy thing.

They'll never tell you to your face,

but it makes everything
you say sound good.

It's, like, cute and sexy and...

Oh, that... that... that smile

and that... that hair and, you know...

Look, there's nothing wrong with you.

This is not your
problem. It's his problem.

You talk, yeah, but he
should want to listen.

Anyway, something's wrong with the dude.

Tell him to piss off.

Mayos.

There is still slight edema,

but that should resolve with time.

The phallus is pink, not blue or gray.

That indicates good blood flow.

Which means that things are progressing

much better than expected.

And you are a lucky man.

Is it... gonna work?

I'm optimistic that you'll get back

most of your normal function.

Baby?

Marcia.

Wife.

Quietly, carefully,
slip out of this room.

Call security right now.

I've been so worried about you.

Ma'am, I don't know how
you located this room,

but I'm gonna need you to wait outside.

No.

I called her.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I never should have...

It's my fault. We had an agreement.

Waitresses and hostesses
were okay... nothing else.

She's your sous-chef.

I know. I know. It's not okay.

I'm sorry.

No, baby, I'm sorry.

Sweetie.

Oh.

I don't get it. How is he kissing her?

How's he kissing the woman who...

Sometimes, it takes crazy to love crazy.

I can't explain it.

Is security on their way?

Oh, yeah. Be here any minute.

Mm.

Kepner!

Dr. Webber.

I've been teaching here
for a very long time.

I present salient points
with clarity and authority,

which is why I am very
interested in understanding

why the hell you called Catherine Avery

when I explicitly told you not to!

All right. I'll tell you.

My patient today had a terrible injury.

The very best person to treat
that injury was Catherine Avery.

Now, I don't know what
personal stuff is going on

between the two of you
exactly, but whatever it is,

I will not allow it to compromise

my patient, his care, or his penis!

And for what it's worth, I
think you two are good together!

Also, Catherine Avery
is my mother-in-law,

so I'll call her any
damn time I feel like it!

- Understood.
- All right.

Need something?

'Cause I was just
headed out for the night.

Yeah, I... I brought the thunder.

Sorry?

I brought the thunder.
It's what I call it.

Only... I mean, it's
very effective at work.

It's totally inappropriate on a date.

I was nervous.

I didn't socialize a lot as a kid.

I kind of spent all my time in books,

and you don't have to socialize...

with books.

So when I get nervous,

I tend to cover it up by talking a lot

and being really loud and definite

and being in charge...

So no one will see how scared I am.

And on our date, I was
terrified because...

You're very handsome and nice,

and you're great.

And I'm dorky. I'm nerdy. I'm me.

So I brought the thunder,

and I'm so, so sorry,

because I really liked you.

Um...

I just... I just wanted you
to know that I-I wasn't...

I mean, I'm not... I'm... I'm...

Uh...

Anyway...

Bye.

Maggie.

Next time, I'll bring the thunder.

Look, I appreciate that you
are looking out for Owen.

I do, but what I do and who I see

are, quite honestly,
none of your business.

Wow.

Okay.

I was only trying to...

I moved here to start something,

to build a new life.

You don't know me...

Not really.

You don't know where I've been
or what I've had to overcome,

because you have never had to.

You've never lost the love of your life.

You have never cried

over the body of the person
you love most in this world.

You...

You don't know how
that messes a person up.

You've never had to claw
your way back from that.

But I have.

I'm still trying to
pull myself together,

and I am doing the very
best that I can, so...

Until you've done that,

until you've had to walk in my shoes,

I need you to cut me some slack...

And back the hell off.

The microvascular work is amazing.

I mean, every tiny, little
incision has to be perfect.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, did I tell you

Catherine Avery told
me I was above average?

Yeah, yeah. You mentioned it.

This might be it. I might
have found my specialty.

Thank god!

I've been worried about
your specialty all day!

Shut up.

What happened in there?

Oh, she cut it off! She cut it off!

What?! Your wife?!

It was my sous-chef! Oh, god!

Come back with that penis!

Okay. Hold it right there.

Okay, Rory. Hand it over.

- No.
- Don't be scared, all right?

Give me the penis, and
everything will be fine.

Stop.

Don't come any closer.

Just put it in my hand...

I said stop.

I swear to god, you come
any closer, I'll flush it.

Okay.

Okay, everything's gonna be okay.

No one wants to hurt you.

All you have to do
is just give it to me,

and everything will be fine.

I was more than his sous-chef.

He said I was his heart, his muse.

We were gonna open another restaurant...

Our restaurant, together, as co-chefs.

He was gonna leave Marcia.

I believed him.

I believed in him.

But then...

She cut off his penis,
and he still took her back.

That's not fair.

No, that's not fair.

All you wanted to do was be together.

I don't understand.

Come on.

You are a woman of rare talent...

A forward thinker, a warrior.

You saw my masterpiece
in the hands of a thief,

and you ran to its rescue.

- You charged into battle.
- Thank you.

You're exactly the kind of
surgeon that I need in Boston...

Bold, fearless.

And when you're looking at specialties,

I hope that you will consider
a urology fellowship with me.

Wow.

That... that's... wow.

You deserve it, Edwards.

Without you, this man's specimen

would have turned into
a sad, old bagpipe.

So, you finish up here,

and I'll go check on
our patient in pre-op.

Do you need something?

I need to make one thing clear.

My manhood has not been damaged here.

You may think I have a problem
with powerful women, but...

You're having one right now.

No. Right now, I am
having a problem with you.

We are having this problem.

And the problem is, I hurt you.

I hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry.

I came to you last year
intending to propose,

but I let our professional
differences stop me.

We love our work.

It's everything to us,

so it's easy to prioritize it.

I made that mistake before.
I don't want to make it again.

Let me stop you right there,

because I don't think I can do this.

I...

It's just happened
too many damn times...

With Jackson's father, with you.

You work... you work to
make something better,

and then it just all... It
just falls apart every time.

I know. It's true.

In fact, the only thing
I can truly promise

is I'll probably hurt you again.

Well, that's really enticing.

Oh, and you'll hurt me,

and I'll come right back
to you again when you do.

I'll accept the risk

because you are worth it,

because you matter to me.

Because I love you.

And I'm not going anywhere.

Hmm.

You okay?

What do you think?

I think there are
probably a hundred things

that you'd be great at that
you haven't even tried yet.

My mom thinks I did all this

because I get some kind of weird

high off being better
than everyone else.

And don't get me wrong.

Being excellent is...

amazing.

But that's because I love this.

Loved this.

Even if you're both right,

that I'll find something else,

I'll never really love it...

Not like this.

Maybe not, but I believe

we get more than just one thing to love.

And one day...

Something will click.

And you'll know you found it.

I have to believe that.

hang on. H-h-hang on.

So, you just chased after her

as she ran down the hall with his penis?

Tell me again about the gloves.

How on earth did you
think to grab gloves?

Instinct, I guess.

So, uh, when do you leave for Boston?

I don't know. Can...
Let's not talk about it.

I can't believe

she handed the penis over to you...

Just like that.

So lucky.

Yeah, she did. She handed it to me.

Severed penis.

I was standing there

holding a severed penis in my hand,

and all I could think was,

"This isn't why I became a surgeon."

I do not love this penis.

I do not want a career in urology.

I mean, I don't know what I do want,

but I know I don't want that,

'cause that thing was gross.

Hey, are you hungry?

I hear it's tots day in the cafeteria.

No. No, no, no, no.

The thing about love is,

when it's good, it's so very good.

- What?
- Nothing.

- Let's get some tots.
- Okay.

And when it's bad, it hurts so much.

Hey, can we talk?

Uh, actually, I was just...

What's really going on?

I need you to tell me, 'cause...

You say one thing,

and I think you mean
something else entirely,

and I want to understand.

I am trying to.

Because I want what we started here.

I do.

But I need a little help.

I don't think

that this is really the place
that we should be talking...

Dr. Shepherd? You have a call on line 4.

I got to get that.

And if you can't find a way

to balance all those ups and downs...

It will make you crazy.

Hello?

Oh, no, sorry. You want
the other Dr. Shepherd.

Here's his wife.

Hi. This is Dr. Shepherd's wife.

Uh, no, he's not here. Can
I take a message for you?

Okay, sure.

Oh. I thought he was there.

Okay. Sure. No problem.

Okay, thank you.

Bye-bye.

Well, that was weird.

- What was?
- Nothing.

Just that was the White House calling.

Derek never showed up at
his meeting this morning.

Oh, yeah?

I'm sure his flight got
delayed or something.

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