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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,642 --> 00:00:07,076 Hello, everyone. 2 00:00:07,145 --> 00:00:09,773 Before last year's Halloween show... 3 00:00:09,848 --> 00:00:12,578 I warned you not to let your children watch... 4 00:00:12,650 --> 00:00:14,584 but you did anyway. 5 00:00:14,652 --> 00:00:16,745 Well, this year's episode is even worse. 6 00:00:16,821 --> 00:00:18,755 It's scarier, more violent... 7 00:00:18,823 --> 00:00:21,917 and I think they snuck in some bad language too. 8 00:00:21,993 --> 00:00:25,929 So please, tuck in your children and-- 9 00:00:25,997 --> 00:00:29,398 Well, if you didn't listen to me last time... 10 00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:31,458 you're not going to now. 11 00:00:31,536 --> 00:00:33,470 Enjoy the show. 12 00:00:56,361 --> 00:00:59,194 ...to conclude this Halloween newscast on a scary note: 13 00:00:59,264 --> 00:01:02,358 remember, the presidential primaries... 14 00:01:02,433 --> 00:01:04,867 are only a few months away. 15 00:01:04,936 --> 00:01:07,632 Hey, if you don't like it, go to Russia. 16 00:01:10,108 --> 00:01:11,700 Trick or treat, man. 17 00:01:11,776 --> 00:01:13,471 Aren't you a little old for this? 18 00:01:13,545 --> 00:01:14,807 You're not even wearing costumes. 19 00:01:14,879 --> 00:01:18,315 Hand over the candy, old dude, or we egg your house. 20 00:01:18,383 --> 00:01:20,317 Here you go, kids. 21 00:01:20,385 --> 00:01:21,909 Heh-heh... heh. 22 00:01:21,986 --> 00:01:23,954 Lousy punks. 23 00:01:24,022 --> 00:01:25,489 - D'oh! 24 00:01:27,792 --> 00:01:29,783 We're home. 25 00:01:32,697 --> 00:01:33,925 Aah... whoo! 26 00:01:33,998 --> 00:01:35,932 Get a good haul this year? 27 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:36,989 Jackpot! 28 00:01:37,068 --> 00:01:39,662 I'm very, very proud of you kids. 29 00:01:39,737 --> 00:01:42,137 We would have gotten more if Lisa walked faster. 30 00:01:42,207 --> 00:01:44,141 I didn't select this costume for mobility. 31 00:01:44,209 --> 00:01:48,236 I wore it to salute the noble Native Americans of the Pacific Northwest. 32 00:01:48,313 --> 00:01:49,507 Yaahh! 33 00:01:49,581 --> 00:01:51,071 Ha-ha-ha! 34 00:01:51,149 --> 00:01:54,016 Children, you can have one piece of candy tonight... 35 00:01:54,085 --> 00:01:56,019 and save the rest for-- 36 00:01:58,022 --> 00:02:00,786 If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares. 37 00:02:00,858 --> 00:02:02,792 Oh, yeah, everybody in this family... 38 00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:04,794 will have a bad nightmare tonight. 39 00:02:04,862 --> 00:02:06,955 Oh, yeah, three bad nightmares. 40 00:02:07,031 --> 00:02:09,693 I'd like to see that. Heh-heh-heh. 41 00:02:15,373 --> 00:02:17,364 Ooh. 42 00:02:26,551 --> 00:02:30,180 What a dump! Why would Princess Grace live here? 43 00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:32,155 - Dad, that's Monaco. - D'oh! 44 00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,956 I can do that, but I don't want to. 45 00:02:39,364 --> 00:02:40,956 Ugh! What is this thing? 46 00:02:41,032 --> 00:02:45,298 It is a monkey's paw, dating back to Al-Al Ben Abdallah. 47 00:02:45,370 --> 00:02:47,838 It grants wishes to its owner. 48 00:02:47,905 --> 00:02:49,566 Oh, yeah? How much? 49 00:02:49,641 --> 00:02:52,166 I strongly advise you, do not purchase this. 50 00:02:52,243 --> 00:02:54,734 Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. 51 00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:56,837 I was once president of Algeria. 52 00:02:56,914 --> 00:02:59,644 I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me. 53 00:03:01,853 --> 00:03:05,152 Eww, Homer. Where did you get that ugly thing? 54 00:03:05,223 --> 00:03:08,386 Why, at that little shop right over... there. 55 00:03:10,194 --> 00:03:11,957 Oh, it was over there. 56 00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:13,588 You'll be sorry. 57 00:03:13,665 --> 00:03:16,896 Flight 7, Marrakesh to Springfield, now boarding. 58 00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:18,799 Just a moment. 59 00:03:23,908 --> 00:03:25,205 Don't shoot! Don't shoot! 60 00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:26,470 They're souvenirs. 61 00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:29,172 You must pay a fine of two American dollars. 62 00:03:29,247 --> 00:03:30,271 Okay. 63 00:03:30,348 --> 00:03:33,181 Let's wish for X-ray specs that really work. 64 00:03:33,251 --> 00:03:34,684 No, Bart-- peace on Earth. 65 00:03:34,752 --> 00:03:35,684 - X-ray specs. - Peace on Earth. 66 00:03:35,753 --> 00:03:36,811 - Peace on Earth. - X-ray specs. 67 00:03:36,888 --> 00:03:37,980 - X-ray specs. - Peace on Earth. 68 00:03:38,056 --> 00:03:40,149 As the pants-wearer of this house... 69 00:03:40,224 --> 00:03:41,589 I get the first wish. 70 00:03:41,659 --> 00:03:43,923 Homer, there's something I don't like... 71 00:03:43,995 --> 00:03:45,963 about that severed hand. 72 00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:48,055 Marge, don't flake out on me. 73 00:03:48,132 --> 00:03:51,033 That monkey's paw is going to make our dreams come true. 74 00:03:53,571 --> 00:03:56,540 - Oh, no! Maggie made a wish. 75 00:03:57,575 --> 00:03:59,770 Oh, my land! 76 00:03:59,844 --> 00:04:01,175 Ooh.! A luxury car. 77 00:04:01,245 --> 00:04:04,214 - Good baby. Good Maggie. 78 00:04:06,617 --> 00:04:09,017 Ohh, a new pacifier. 79 00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:10,349 D'oh! 80 00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:13,322 No more fooling around. Paw, this is Bart. 81 00:04:13,391 --> 00:04:15,621 I wish for Simpsons to be rich and famous. 82 00:04:15,693 --> 00:04:17,024 Now you're talking. 83 00:04:19,364 --> 00:04:20,888 - Yay! - Yay! 84 00:04:20,965 --> 00:04:22,728 Wahoo! 85 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,564 Look, everybody. My purse exploded! 86 00:04:25,636 --> 00:04:26,864 Come on, everybody. 87 00:04:26,938 --> 00:04:30,101 We're going to the fanciest restaurant in town. 88 00:04:30,174 --> 00:04:31,835 I'm terrible sorry. 89 00:04:31,909 --> 00:04:34,503 I have absolutely nothing untilJune. 90 00:04:34,579 --> 00:04:38,276 Ah, the Simpsons! Right this way, please. 91 00:04:38,349 --> 00:04:42,149 Homer, maybe fame and fortune aren't as bad as they say. 92 00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,814 If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons... 93 00:04:44,889 --> 00:04:46,322 I swear I'll scream. 94 00:04:46,391 --> 00:04:49,326 At first they were cute, but now they're annoying. 95 00:04:49,394 --> 00:04:51,328 1 8 bucks for this? 96 00:04:51,396 --> 00:04:53,728 What a rip-off. 97 00:04:58,236 --> 00:05:01,501 Man, this thing's really getting out of hand. 98 00:05:03,908 --> 00:05:06,138 Is there anything they won't do? 99 00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:08,644 Oh, Homer, this is awful. 100 00:05:08,713 --> 00:05:10,977 The guy that sold me this thing... 101 00:05:11,048 --> 00:05:13,448 did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. 102 00:05:13,518 --> 00:05:15,543 I thought he was being colorful. 103 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:17,713 I wish for world peace. 104 00:05:18,856 --> 00:05:21,416 Lisa, that was very selfish of you! 105 00:05:25,663 --> 00:05:27,460 Sorry about the Falklands. 106 00:05:27,532 --> 00:05:30,399 Oh, forget it. We knew they were yours. 107 00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:41,473 Well, won't be needing these anymore. 108 00:05:51,289 --> 00:05:55,020 # Come on, people now, smile on your brother # 109 00:05:55,092 --> 00:05:56,525 # Everybody get together # 110 00:05:56,594 --> 00:06:01,361 # Try to love one another right now ## 111 00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:03,263 Foolish humans. 112 00:06:03,334 --> 00:06:04,767 Oh, yes, Kodos. 113 00:06:04,836 --> 00:06:07,361 Earth is now ripe for the plucking. 114 00:06:25,389 --> 00:06:30,656 People of Earth, we come to you in the spirit of hostility and menace. 115 00:06:30,728 --> 00:06:33,663 Now, we can resolve our differences peacefully. 116 00:06:33,731 --> 00:06:34,959 Uh... ow! 117 00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:38,729 Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. 118 00:06:38,803 --> 00:06:39,963 Gordon, do something. 119 00:06:40,037 --> 00:06:42,835 What do you want me to do? I'm a baker now. 120 00:06:42,907 --> 00:06:44,238 Conquered with a club. 121 00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:45,798 Wish we'd saved an A-bomb. 122 00:06:45,877 --> 00:06:47,139 Move along humans. 123 00:06:48,546 --> 00:06:50,480 This is all the Simpsons' fault. 124 00:06:50,548 --> 00:06:52,482 Before I was just bored with them... 125 00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:54,518 now I wish they were dead. 126 00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:56,985 Geez, now we're slaves. This paw sucks. 127 00:06:57,054 --> 00:06:59,488 Okay, I'll make a wish that can't backfire. 128 00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:02,424 I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread... 129 00:07:02,493 --> 00:07:04,085 with lettuce and mustard... 130 00:07:04,161 --> 00:07:07,096 and... and I don't want any zombie turkeys. 131 00:07:07,164 --> 00:07:09,598 I don't want to turn into a turkey myself... 132 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:12,932 and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it? 133 00:07:15,406 --> 00:07:16,771 Hey! 134 00:07:16,841 --> 00:07:19,105 Hmm... mmm! 135 00:07:19,176 --> 00:07:20,734 Mmm... not bad. 136 00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:22,802 Nice hot mustard, good bread... 137 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,609 turkey's a little dry-- 138 00:07:24,682 --> 00:07:26,809 The turkey's a little dry?! 139 00:07:26,884 --> 00:07:28,943 Oh, foul the cursed thing! 140 00:07:29,020 --> 00:07:33,480 What demon from the depths of hell created thee? 141 00:07:33,558 --> 00:07:36,459 Hey, is that one of those monkey paw dealies... 142 00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:38,620 that lets you wish for things? 143 00:07:38,696 --> 00:07:41,790 Yeah, but I got to warn you that this thing is-- 144 00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:45,097 Yeah, that's what it is. You want to try it? 145 00:07:45,169 --> 00:07:46,158 Okely-dokely. 146 00:07:46,237 --> 00:07:49,138 Ooh, would you look at that. 147 00:07:49,206 --> 00:07:50,468 Aahh! 148 00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:53,476 Kneel before my slingshot, puny earthling! 149 00:07:53,544 --> 00:07:55,307 Well, I guess my first wish... 150 00:07:55,379 --> 00:07:57,643 is to get rid of those awful aliens. 151 00:07:57,715 --> 00:08:00,149 Aahh! He's got a board with a nail in it! 152 00:08:00,217 --> 00:08:01,946 Enslave humanity, will ya?! 153 00:08:02,019 --> 00:08:03,953 Run, Kodos! 154 00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:07,052 Ha-ha-ha! 155 00:08:07,124 --> 00:08:10,423 Well, Kang, it seems the earthlings won. 156 00:08:10,494 --> 00:08:12,052 Did they? 157 00:08:12,129 --> 00:08:14,654 That board with the nail in it may have defeated us... 158 00:08:14,732 --> 00:08:16,700 but the humans won't stop there. 159 00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:19,099 They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. 160 00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:22,037 Soon they will make a board with a nail so big... 161 00:08:22,106 --> 00:08:24,040 it will destroy them all! 162 00:08:34,218 --> 00:08:35,549 Hey, Homer... 163 00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:37,520 this thingumajig works great. 164 00:08:37,588 --> 00:08:39,613 Now that I've saved the Earth... 165 00:08:39,690 --> 00:08:43,490 maybe I ought to spruce up the old homestead. 166 00:08:43,561 --> 00:08:45,961 I wish I had a monkey's paw. 167 00:08:50,089 --> 00:08:51,351 Bart? 168 00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:52,685 Bart? 169 00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:54,350 Huh? What's the matter? 170 00:08:54,426 --> 00:08:57,020 I had a bad dream. Could I sleep in your bed? 171 00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:58,586 No. 172 00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:00,928 I'll give you a candy necklace. 173 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,365 Climb aboard. 174 00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:10,473 - Thanks, Bart. - Less talk, more sleep. 175 00:09:15,047 --> 00:09:17,242 [ Rod Serling Impressionist ] Presented for your consideration:: 176 00:09:17,316 --> 00:09:20,444 Springfield-- an average little town... 177 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,453 with a not-so-average monster. 178 00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:25,115 Happy thoughts. Happy, happy, happy. 179 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,954 The people of Springfield have to make sure... 180 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:31,120 they think happy thoughts and say happy things... 181 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:34,290 because this particular monster can read minds. 182 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:38,962 And if displeased, can turn people into grotesque walking terrors. 183 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,800 Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. 184 00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,205 Boy, I'm getting mighty sick of this. 185 00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:44,469 Huh? 186 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:46,204 Ruff, ruff, ruff. Bow-wow. 187 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,346 And did I mention that the monster... 188 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,746 is a ten-year-old boy? 189 00:09:51,817 --> 00:09:55,150 Quite a twist, huh? Betcha didn't see that one coming. 190 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,653 Good morning. 191 00:09:57,923 --> 00:10:01,086 - Morning. - Good morning, dear. 192 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,596 Hiya, Bart. How's my boy? [ Nervous Laughing ] 193 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:09,701 Every day, same old cat. I'll make him more interesting. 194 00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:21,011 Much better. Oh, good, the curtains are on fire. 195 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:24,207 It's good that you made that awful thing, Bart. 196 00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:25,511 It's real good. 197 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:28,314 - Hadn't you better get ready for school? - Okay. 198 00:10:29,888 --> 00:10:31,947 He gets it from your side of the family, you know. 199 00:10:32,024 --> 00:10:34,549 No monsters on my side. 200 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,888 - Hi, guys. - Aahh! 201 00:10:37,963 --> 00:10:40,363 Hi, Otto. Move over. I'm driving. 202 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,899 No can do, little buddy. 203 00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:43,298 See, there's a rule-- 204 00:10:43,368 --> 00:10:47,236 Oh, wait. You're the little dude with the gnarly powers. 205 00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:53,902 Quit riding the brake. Give it some gas, man. 206 00:10:53,979 --> 00:10:56,243 Hey, this is fun, isn't it? 207 00:10:56,315 --> 00:10:58,647 We're going to die, aren't we? 208 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,980 - Hiya, Bart! - Hiya, Bart! 209 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,978 [ Teacher ] Well, class... 210 00:11:05,057 --> 00:11:07,890 the history of our country has been changed again... 211 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,428 to correspond with Bart's test answers. 212 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,690 America was now discovered in 1 942 by... 213 00:11:14,766 --> 00:11:16,563 ''some guy.'' 214 00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:21,072 And our country isn't called America anymore. It's Bonerland. 215 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,099 Your attention, please. 216 00:11:24,176 --> 00:11:27,009 This is Principal Skinner. Bart, this one's for you. 217 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,584 Phone. 218 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,523 Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. 219 00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,856 Moe's Tavern. 220 00:11:42,928 --> 00:11:46,091 Hold on. I'll check. Uh, hey, everybody. 221 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:49,964 I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt... 222 00:11:50,035 --> 00:11:53,766 and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt. 223 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,435 - That's a new one! - Wait a minute. 224 00:12:04,049 --> 00:12:06,279 One more time. 225 00:12:10,722 --> 00:12:11,984 Double-time now. 226 00:12:12,057 --> 00:12:13,581 I love school. 227 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,051 Come on, come on. Make it, make it. 228 00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:20,064 Please, please, please. 229 00:12:20,132 --> 00:12:22,862 - I want to watch Krusty. - Shut up, boy. 230 00:12:22,935 --> 00:12:25,028 If they make this field goal, I win 50 bucks. 231 00:12:26,939 --> 00:12:29,203 The kick is up. 232 00:12:29,274 --> 00:12:30,866 It's looking good. 233 00:12:30,943 --> 00:12:34,276 The ball is turning into a fat, bald guy. 234 00:12:34,346 --> 00:12:35,711 Aahh! Oof!. 235 00:12:35,781 --> 00:12:38,147 It's no good, and you know what we say... 236 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,878 Every time something strange happens-- 237 00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:43,046 it's good that Bart did that. 238 00:12:43,121 --> 00:12:44,247 It's very good. 239 00:12:49,261 --> 00:12:50,956 346 consecutive hours... 240 00:12:51,029 --> 00:12:54,795 and all because of one little boy who-- 241 00:12:54,866 --> 00:12:56,800 who won't let me stop! 242 00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:01,469 Anyway, now let's go over and see if Sideshow Mel... 243 00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:03,474 has any more of those legal... 244 00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:06,136 over-the-counter wake-up drugs of his. 245 00:13:11,717 --> 00:13:13,651 Slowly, slowly. 246 00:13:13,719 --> 00:13:16,153 Don't make a sound. Don't even think. 247 00:13:16,221 --> 00:13:17,813 He can hear your thoughts. 248 00:13:17,889 --> 00:13:21,222 Then, when he's least expecting it, bash his head in. 249 00:13:21,293 --> 00:13:22,885 End of monster. 250 00:13:24,363 --> 00:13:26,331 Aaaaaaaaaahhh! 251 00:13:26,398 --> 00:13:28,889 Bart! 252 00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:33,461 - Lisa did it. - That's it, young man. You're coming with me. 253 00:13:33,538 --> 00:13:34,937 Please? 254 00:13:36,108 --> 00:13:38,474 You like attention, don't you, Bart? 255 00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:41,011 - Do I ever. - But you don't care... 256 00:13:41,079 --> 00:13:44,310 whether you get good attention for, say... 257 00:13:44,383 --> 00:13:47,477 getting high marks in school, or bad attention for, say... 258 00:13:47,552 --> 00:13:49,986 turning your father intojack-in-the-box. 259 00:13:50,055 --> 00:13:52,080 Homer, I see you agree with my theory. 260 00:13:52,157 --> 00:13:54,091 I'm not nodding. It's the air conditioning. 261 00:13:54,159 --> 00:13:58,118 That's too bad. The attention the boy craves should be coming from you. 262 00:13:58,196 --> 00:14:00,630 Spend some quality time with him. 263 00:14:00,699 --> 00:14:03,532 Get to know him. Maybe even love him. 264 00:14:06,204 --> 00:14:07,501 - [ Cheering ] 265 00:14:07,572 --> 00:14:10,837 D'oh! Whoa-oh-oh. 266 00:14:23,355 --> 00:14:25,289 Eeyii! 267 00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:34,462 - Good night, son. - Good night, Dad. 268 00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:38,094 You know, these last few days have been really swell. 269 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,138 I wish I could repay you. 270 00:14:40,205 --> 00:14:44,164 Well, if you wanted to, you could give me my body back. 271 00:14:44,242 --> 00:14:45,470 You got it. 272 00:14:47,245 --> 00:14:50,146 Oh! Hey, hey. 273 00:14:50,215 --> 00:14:52,649 Oh, oh. Thanks, boy. 274 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:56,153 - I love you, Dad. - I love you, son. 275 00:14:58,223 --> 00:15:02,214 Aaaaaaaaahhh! 276 00:15:06,985 --> 00:15:08,919 Mom! Dad! 277 00:15:08,987 --> 00:15:10,682 My goodness! What's wrong? 278 00:15:10,756 --> 00:15:13,122 - We both had nightmares. - Can we sleep with you? 279 00:15:13,191 --> 00:15:14,954 You both toilet trained? 280 00:15:15,026 --> 00:15:16,425 - Yes! - Okay, then. 281 00:15:16,495 --> 00:15:18,360 4:00? 282 00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:22,332 Couple hours I have to get up and go to work. 283 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,426 Got to go to work. Go to work-- 284 00:15:25,504 --> 00:15:28,632 [ Burns ] Ooh, look at them, Smithers-- 285 00:15:28,707 --> 00:15:32,541 goldbrickers, layabouts, slugabeds. 286 00:15:32,611 --> 00:15:34,272 Little do they realize... 287 00:15:34,346 --> 00:15:37,713 their days of suckling at my teat are numbered. 288 00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:42,447 Oh, in the meantime, sir, may I suggest a random firing... 289 00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:45,786 -just to throw the fear of God into them? - Very well. 290 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:48,451 Eeny, meeny, miny-- Blugh! Him! 291 00:15:49,528 --> 00:15:51,291 Attention, Homer Simpson. 292 00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:54,662 Attention, Homer Simpson. Wake up, Homer. 293 00:15:54,733 --> 00:15:56,667 - What? Huh? What? - You're fired. 294 00:15:56,735 --> 00:15:58,703 - For what? - For sleeping on the job. 295 00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:00,738 How did you know I was sleeping? 296 00:16:00,806 --> 00:16:03,536 We've been watching you on the surveillance camera. 297 00:16:03,608 --> 00:16:05,599 Camera? D'oh! 298 00:16:05,677 --> 00:16:06,803 Smithers... 299 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,209 to the laboratory. 300 00:16:14,386 --> 00:16:15,785 You know, Smithers... 301 00:16:15,854 --> 00:16:19,654 I've always despised the laziness of the common worker. 302 00:16:19,724 --> 00:16:22,784 Then I realized his spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak. 303 00:16:22,861 --> 00:16:26,490 I replaced the flesh, which is weak, with steel... 304 00:16:26,565 --> 00:16:28,499 which is strong. Behold! 305 00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:30,762 The greatest breakthrough in labor relations... 306 00:16:30,836 --> 00:16:33,236 since the cat-o'-nine-tails! 307 00:16:37,008 --> 00:16:40,273 - How long till it's running? - Keep your pants on, Smithers. 308 00:16:40,345 --> 00:16:44,441 First we need a human brain. 309 00:16:44,516 --> 00:16:46,916 Hey, here's a goodjob, Dad. 310 00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:49,545 You have to know how to operate an ultrasonic lithontriptor. 311 00:16:49,621 --> 00:16:52,488 - How hard can it be? - Hey, Dad, here's one. 312 00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:55,526 $28 an hour, plenty of fresh air... 313 00:16:55,594 --> 00:16:58,324 and you get to meet lots of interesting people. 314 00:16:58,396 --> 00:16:59,954 Ooh, what job is that? 315 00:17:00,031 --> 00:17:02,090 Grave digger. 316 00:17:07,305 --> 00:17:09,273 Deeper, wider, faster. 317 00:17:09,341 --> 00:17:11,605 I wouldn't bury my turtle in that mud puddle. 318 00:17:11,676 --> 00:17:13,109 What's the use? 319 00:17:13,178 --> 00:17:15,203 Sheesh! What a slave driver. 320 00:17:25,457 --> 00:17:27,550 What corpse should we unearth, sir? 321 00:17:27,626 --> 00:17:29,116 I don't know. 322 00:17:29,194 --> 00:17:31,492 I feel like a kid in a candy store. 323 00:17:31,563 --> 00:17:33,292 Hello! 324 00:17:33,365 --> 00:17:34,798 An open grave. 325 00:17:34,866 --> 00:17:36,731 Smithers, get him out quickly. 326 00:17:36,801 --> 00:17:38,268 The stench is overpowering. 327 00:17:38,336 --> 00:17:41,134 Wait a minute, sir. That's Homer Simpson. 328 00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,299 He wasn't exactly a model employee. 329 00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:46,310 Well, who is a model... employee? 330 00:17:46,378 --> 00:17:49,779 Simpson will do just fine, sir. 331 00:17:52,384 --> 00:17:54,147 Did you hear that, sir? 332 00:17:54,219 --> 00:17:58,656 No, I didn't. Who is it, Frankenstein? The Boogerman? 333 00:17:58,723 --> 00:18:01,123 The man in the bag. I think he's alive. 334 00:18:01,192 --> 00:18:02,784 Oh. 335 00:18:02,861 --> 00:18:04,852 - Bad corpse. 336 00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:07,194 Stop scaring Smithers. Satisfied? 337 00:18:07,265 --> 00:18:09,199 Thank you, sir. 338 00:18:16,775 --> 00:18:18,504 Excellent. 339 00:18:18,576 --> 00:18:20,840 Smithers, hand me that ice cream scoop. 340 00:18:20,912 --> 00:18:23,039 - Ice cream scoop? - Damn it, Smithers! 341 00:18:23,114 --> 00:18:26,413 This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery! 342 00:18:26,484 --> 00:18:27,746 All right. 343 00:18:30,488 --> 00:18:31,887 Hello. 344 00:18:31,957 --> 00:18:33,891 Look at me-- I'm Davy Crockett! 345 00:18:56,948 --> 00:18:58,973 Look, Smithers, a twitch. 346 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:02,042 It's moving! It's alive! 347 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,146 Oh, that fellow at Radio Shack said I was mad. 348 00:19:05,223 --> 00:19:07,214 Well, who's mad now? 349 00:19:09,127 --> 00:19:10,617 Hi, there. 350 00:19:10,695 --> 00:19:12,253 I'm your daddy. 351 00:19:19,771 --> 00:19:22,467 [ Homer's Voice ] Mmm! 352 00:19:29,948 --> 00:19:31,973 Mmm! Sprin-kles. 353 00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,312 Geraldo Rivera... 354 00:19:33,385 --> 00:19:35,785 Madonna, and a diseased yak. 355 00:19:35,854 --> 00:19:37,549 [ Lisa ] Mom, what's wrong? 356 00:19:37,622 --> 00:19:39,317 It's your father-- he's missing. 357 00:19:39,391 --> 00:19:41,222 Dad's missing? Get out of here. 358 00:19:41,292 --> 00:19:43,089 He's been gone for two days. 359 00:19:43,161 --> 00:19:45,186 What do you know? She's right. 360 00:19:46,231 --> 00:19:50,167 It wasn't supposed to be this way. 361 00:19:50,235 --> 00:19:53,068 It was supposed to be a thing of beauty... 362 00:19:53,138 --> 00:19:55,072 not this abomination. 363 00:19:57,208 --> 00:20:00,234 Oh, Smithers, I was wrong to play God. 364 00:20:00,311 --> 00:20:03,405 Life is precious, not a thing to be toyed with. 365 00:20:03,481 --> 00:20:05,972 Take out that brain and flush it down the toilet. 366 00:20:06,051 --> 00:20:07,746 His family might appreciate it... 367 00:20:07,819 --> 00:20:09,810 if you returned the brain to his body. 368 00:20:09,888 --> 00:20:13,824 Come on. It's 1 1 :45! 369 00:20:13,892 --> 00:20:17,658 Oh, Smithers, when you look at me with those puppy-dog eyes-- 370 00:20:17,729 --> 00:20:19,128 All right. 371 00:20:21,699 --> 00:20:23,132 Ow. Ow. 372 00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:25,965 - Ow. Ow. - Quit your complaining. 373 00:20:26,037 --> 00:20:28,631 Do you know what this means? He is alive. 374 00:20:28,706 --> 00:20:30,640 Ooh, you're right, Smithers. 375 00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:32,471 I guess I owe you a Coke. 376 00:20:32,544 --> 00:20:35,672 And as for you, you clinking, clattering cacophony... 377 00:20:35,747 --> 00:20:38,773 of collagenous cogs and camshafts, take... that.! 378 00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:42,952 Aahh! 379 00:20:43,021 --> 00:20:45,319 - Run, sir. 380 00:20:46,958 --> 00:20:49,085 Every bone... shattered... 381 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,095 organs... leaking vital fluids... 382 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:55,064 a slight headache, loss of appetite. 383 00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:58,864 Smithers, I'm going to die. 384 00:20:58,937 --> 00:21:01,929 - Is there nothing I can do? - Well, perhaps. 385 00:21:02,006 --> 00:21:03,940 Smithers, go to my office. 386 00:21:04,008 --> 00:21:07,102 In the third drawer of my desk are... 387 00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,476 surgical tools and some ether. 388 00:21:09,547 --> 00:21:12,107 Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh! 389 00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:13,775 Did you have a nightmare? 390 00:21:13,852 --> 00:21:16,343 - No. Bart bit me. - You were crushing me. 391 00:21:16,421 --> 00:21:19,151 I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab. 392 00:21:19,224 --> 00:21:21,351 Got to shake the dew off the lily. 393 00:21:23,061 --> 00:21:26,462 - Aahh! - Perhaps you're wondering why you have two heads. 394 00:21:26,531 --> 00:21:29,989 My body was crushed, so I had head grafted onto your... 395 00:21:30,068 --> 00:21:32,161 shall we say, ample frame. 396 00:21:32,237 --> 00:21:35,604 I can wake up. It's all a dream. It's just a dream. 397 00:21:35,673 --> 00:21:37,607 Oh, that's right. 398 00:21:37,675 --> 00:21:39,700 It's all a dream... 399 00:21:39,777 --> 00:21:41,642 or is it? 400 00:21:47,285 --> 00:21:49,617 Next week on The Simpsons: 401 00:21:49,687 --> 00:21:51,951 Don't forget, Dad. Tonight my class is having... 402 00:21:52,023 --> 00:21:54,116 an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner. 403 00:21:54,192 --> 00:21:55,250 Mmm. Spaghetti. 404 00:21:55,326 --> 00:21:57,089 But, Homer, tonight's our reception... 405 00:21:57,162 --> 00:21:59,392 for Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands. 406 00:21:59,464 --> 00:22:01,637 Oh, I hate having two heads. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 29536

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