All language subtitles for 316de_316en_final

Can I use your right -of -way program?

Sure. Great. What do you want to check?
Here.

What do I have to do now? Is that
supposed to go in there? No, you have to

it into the computer first. No, that's
totally cumbersome. Well, whatever.

Can you give it to me?

I can check it.

No, it's personal.

It's a personal essay.

About what?

Golf.

Golf? Why golf?

Why not?

Hey, Beth, can I talk to you? Oh, my
God.

Are you moving?

Try it.

It's okay.

I'm okay.

Daily, of course. What did you think?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Here, I think there was a golf ball.
Hey, I wonder where that came from.

Are you really not hurt? All the best.

Thank God.

What's so funny?

Ich bin bloß froh, dass es diesmal nicht
mich erwischt hat. Tut mir leid.

Ich bin derjenige, der immer stolpert
und ausrutscht. Ich bin der Tollpatsch

Dienst und diesmal bist du der neue
Tollpatsch. Das war nicht zu übersehen,

Und jetzt machen wir uns wieder an die
Arbeit. Okay, schön.

Tut mir leid für dich. Schon gut.

Matthew?

Ja?

Bist du an einem Souvenir von diesem
freudigen Ereignis interessiert? Ja,

gern. Hier, bitte.

Good morning, Skipper.

Good morning, Bill.

Did you leave something?

No, I'm just looking for some pretzels.

Really? I thought you might be looking
for erotic literature.

Is that the Canadian word for pornhift?

Yes.

Thank you for the offer, boss. But I buy
my adult magazines at a kiosk 30 blocks

from my apartment with a fake mustache.

You shouldn't leave something lying
around in the office.

If the female colleagues found it, they
would have put the women in charge of

the hall.

Bill, have you heard?

Yeah, of course, but it doesn't belong
to me.

No, it doesn't belong to him? No idea,
but... But in no way do such things

belong here in the office.

I mean, the work.

Morning, conference.

Huh? What were you talking about?
Nothing at all. See, Dave, you never

anything. No, no, it's nothing.

Really, nothing at all. Beth, Beth,
okay, if I may say so, we're planning a

surprise birthday party for you.

This fete has been planned for you for
three years now, and I slowly believe

that there will never be anything.

Entschuldigt die Verspätung. Ich muss
mir erst noch etwas organisieren.

So,

I thought you'd be older.

Oh, yeah? I thought so, too.

Hello, boys and girls.

Welcome to the magic world of WNYX.

Der gehört mir.

Der gehört mir.

Ah, da sind Sie ja.

Ja, das ist eine sehr schöne Geste, wenn
man den Kindern hilft und so, aber wir

hätten gern früher Bescheid gewusst.

Ach Gott.

Sie kennen mich, Dave. Ich gebe nicht so
viel auf korrekte Wege, Formulare oder

den ganzen bürokratischen... Wie heißt
das noch? Mambo Jambo? Nein.

Gabel de Goff? Nein. Pippi Kram?

Das trifft es auch nicht, aber Sie
wissen, was ich meine. Ich wünsche mir,

diese Kinder einen Eindruck davon
erhalten, wie es in einer guten

Nachrichtenredaktion abläuft.

Dödelkram? Was?

Dödelkram? Wo reden Sie? Wie bitte? Was?
Was? Hören Sie mir einfach zu.

Hi, Susanne. Hi, Joe. Mr. Jank, alles
klar?

Bist du...

Are you looking for something? Yes.

I think I happen to have exactly what
you're looking for. Ah, yes? No, there

is. Sticker tape.

I tell him everything about tape.

What? Here.

Long before you were born, a smart head
invented the tape.

End.

And off you go.

See you later. We'll see you later.

It doesn't matter to him with the
children, does it? I have the impression

feel somehow uncomfortable.

Really? Maybe that's because of the
naked magazine under her chin.

That... Das ist nicht meins. Das gehört
mir nicht. Keine Sorge, Dave. Niemand

wird Sie verurteilen, wenn es nur zum
Eigengebrauch ist. Ja, aber es gehört

doch nicht. Hey, hey, hey, das
interessiert mich gar nicht. Ganz egal,

gehört. Ich will nur keinen Ärger. Also
lassen Sie Ihre Schmuddelhefte zu Hause.

Ja, ist gut.

Aber es ist nicht meins. Ich lese
keine... Wir können nach dem Lunch

weiterreden. Wollen Sie uns jetzt mit
den Kindern hier allein laden? Ja, ich

führe die Lehrerin aus und diskutiere
den erzieherischen Imperativ des 21.

Jahrhunderts. Aha.

Sind Sie bereit, Mr. James?

Das kann man wohl sagen.

I'll be right there. Nice.

As the Irish Imperative? As always.

In the immortal words of Van Halen,
before the stupid ass Sammy Hagar ruined

group, I stand on as a teacher.

And when the reporters have finished
writing their stories,

bring them to me, I'll see them through,
and then I'll pass them on to Mr.

McNeil or Mrs. Duke, and they'll bring
them out into the glass chamber. And

do you think will happen?

Even more boring stuff?

Richtig. Ja, und dann komme ich am
nächsten Tag wieder und tue das Gleiche.

auch am Tag danach und am Tag danach bis
30 oder 40 Jahre vorbei.

Und? Das heißt, genieß deine
Fingerfarben und spiel Ball, solange du

Willst du einen Snack?

Ja, komm mit.

So, gleich haben wir es. Ein paar Kekse
und einen Becher Milch.

Wir brauchen dich als Schiedsrichter für
ein kleines Problem.

Was ist denn?

Adam hat meine Schere und gibt sie nicht
mehr her.

Ich hatte sie zuerst. Hattest du nicht.

Nein. Nein. Hattest du nicht. Nein.

Nein. Hattest du nicht. Ich kann nicht
mehr.

Adam, gib mir die Schere.

Vielen Dank. Jetzt gehört sie mir.

Das ist echt unfair.

Matthew, hast du ein Magazin hier
irgendwo liegen lassen?

Über was sie katzen?

Nein, aber so ähnlich.

So,

Mr. James, I... No, no, no, no, no.
Jimmy, Jimmy, please.

Mary.

So, Jimmy, what brings you to take on
the task of a mentor?

So, Mary...

How do I say that best?

I'm rich, single, have a lot of time and
energy and I love children.

I understand.

And teachers.

Oh, you were definitely a one -of -a
-kind, weren't you? I never had a one

-a -kind in my life. Probably you didn't
have the right teacher.

Yes, that's possible.

Hey, there you are. Everything went
better?

A man wanted to have money from me in
there, so he could turn on the water for

me. That's okay.

That's the toilet man. Just pretend you
don't see him.

Cool.

Yeah.

Horndo, Hefte, rumliegen lässt, aber es
muss aufhören.

Ruhe! Der große Bill McNeil wird jetzt
sprechen.

Gut gemacht, Kevin.

Seien wir doch ehrlich. Nur weil jemand
hier so unvorsichtig ist und seine

schmuddeligen... Horndo, Hefte, hier
herumliegen lässt, brauchen wir nicht

einen Vortrag über... Der Vortrag
erspart uns vielleicht eine Klage. Krieg

eine Cola?

Klar.

Because I need two hands to show him
what else you can do with it.

David,

I don't know, okay?

Dave,

could you correct that for me?

What are you doing?

Why without us?

Because girls are stupid.

Das hat er nicht von mir.

Doch klar.

Das tut mir leid, aber lass uns jetzt
bitte allein. Wir besprechen das

Wieso wollt ihr hier keine Mädchen? Weil
Mädchen doof sind und Jungs viel

besser.

Nein, nein.

Da höre ich doch ganz deutlich den
zukünftigen Abgeordneten.

Kommt, meine Fräulein.

Jedenfalls sollte Dave wohl am
allerbesten wissen, dass Männerrunden am

Arbeitsplatz vollkommen unangebracht
sind. Dave hat ganz bestimmt keinen

von Männerrunden, das weiß ich. Wer?

Der kleine Junge im blauen Anzug? Ja.

Why are you black?

Why not?

I want to be black too.

I'll call a few people and see what I
can do.

Sie können diese kleinen Geschöpfe nicht
einfach ausschließen. Diese Mädchen,

die später einmal für unsere und die
Zukunft der Frauenbewegung... Hör auf,

ich schwöre dir eine.

Beth?

Ja? Ich hab gekleckert.

Oh, das macht gar nichts, Schätzchen.
Catherine, is there some clean WNOX T

-shirts in Dave's drawer?

Uh, Lisa?

What was that you were saying about
Dave?

Inappropriate bones.

What?

Are you sure you're aware of all of
Dave's bedtime reading material?

Oh. My.

Open it. I don't want them to see it. Me
neither. But I think you just broke my

hand.

Well,

these obviously aren't Dave's.

Look, it's okay, Lisa.

I mean, just because Dave has one or two
or... Actually, seven.

Seven of these hidden in his desk
doesn't mean that you're not special to

also. Well, I didn't say that I did.
Well, Catherine's right, because, I

we all know that men need to look at
these on a regular basis or they can get

really sick.

All right, Beth, which one of your
former boyfriends told you that?

All of them. Anyway, all I'm saying is
that if anybody wants to look at

of... Shh, shh, shh. Oh.

What word would you like to use? I don't
want to use any word. I think we should

just forget about this. How about
apples?

Apples. All righty, fine, apples.
Anyway, all I'm saying is, even though

has a very nice apple tree at home,
sometimes he gets curious about what

apples look like. I think that is the
time we all went back to work. Why don't

we just... Beth's right.

I mean, there's a whole world out there
full of red apples and green apples and

Macintosh apples and... Fuji apples?

Very good, Tim. And Fuji apples.

I mean, Dave might like a nice exotic
Fuji apple every now and then.

Right, but his favorite apple is the
apple back home.

Granny Smith apples?

Exactly.

Good old reliable Granny Smith apple
back home.

to photocopy their face.

Uh,

uh, uh, they're not mine. What aren't?

The... Oh, those.

No, I didn't do that. That's okay. It's
healthy.

Natural. It's just all, you know,
different apples, different... No, I,

No, I found them in the break room, and
I put them in there so no one would be

offended. Oh, Dave, this is embarrassing
enough for me.

If you think it's embarrassing for you,
imagine how embarrassing it is for me.

Yeah, but if they're not yours, why are
you embarrassed?

Come on, Kim.

How come you're so rich, Jimmy?

Mr. James.

is successful because he worked harder
and he learned... Not really. I'm

actually kind of lazy, if you want to
know the truth.

But once you've got a lot of money, you
can basically just sit around, goof off,

and watch your money make money.

I've got to go again.

Well, first we ask for permission.

Oh, that's okay. If you've got to go to
the can, go to the can.

Permission, Rodney.

May I please go to the can? Nah, boy,
get out of here.

Could you do me a little favor?

Yeah.

Help me out with Rodney.

It's hard enough to teach him proper
manners without you contradicting every

single thing I say.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was
doing that.

Okay, I'll tell you what. When he comes
back, I'll tell him the evil Jimmy left

and I took his place. Kids believe that
kind of crap, right?

I've got an easier solution.

Lay it on me, Teach.

Sit up straight, stop picking your
teeth, and no more laughing when Rodney,

you put it, rips one off.

I don't know if that sounds easier, but,
uh, you know, I'll give it a shot.

And take your elbows off the table.

Oh, what the hell?

And don't say hell.

Damn. And don't say damn.

All right, but what... Did you send
someone to cut this table off my wrist,

Dave? Yep, exactly.

All right, kid, come on.

Sorry, it's just grown -ups only right
now, all right?

Hey, Bill, can you grab me a cold one,
please?

Sure.

Thanks, Greg. You're welcome.

Thanks,

Lisa. Do you want to come in here?

Well,

now it's just us grown -ups, so let's
cut the crap. Who's leaving the porn

lying around in the break room?

You know, Dave, if you want to discuss
your filthy business with everyone,

that's fine. I don't see why I have to
be dragged into it. It's not filthy,

Lisa. It's perfectly natural. You see,
if a man doesn't look at those, he can

get really sick.

Look, I don't care who it is. Just own
up to it. Lisa thinks they're mine.

Well, I have an idea. Why don't the five
of us all go see a couple of therapists

together, huh?

Lisa, look, guys, I'm asking you as
friends. Please, just tell me who it is.

David, did you ever stop to consider
that it might be one of the 15 or 20

guys who work in the station?

Joe's right. How come every time there's
a problem, you assume that it's one of

us? What about them? What if it was that
guy whose name I don't know, or the guy

who sits by him, or the girl... Because
somebody gave those people the

impression they're not allowed in the
break room.

Well, Dave, I consider that room to be a
private sanctuary where I can escape

from all those horrid little people
whose names I don't know.

Who cares about this? It really doesn't
matter, Dave. Look, yeah, well, I don't

care who it is either, but you know
what?

This one's my sister's girlfriend knows
it isn't me. So, if the person who left

the magazines in there is in this room,
write on a slip of paper, I did it, and

put it in a cup. What if we didn't do
it? Then write, I didn't do it.

Dave, why are you so obsessed with this?
I just want to clear my name. No, I

mean pornography.

Dave.

Thank you.

There, the proof is in the cup.

I did it. Uh -huh.

I did it. I did it. Well, sweet of you
guys to cover for Dave. The least we

could do. Just trying to help out. So
the guy has an insatiable appetite for

hardcore porn. So what?

Hey, let it go. Come on, Lisa has, and
frankly, she's the one that should be

really mortified.

Lisa.

Well,

how was lunch, you two?

Lovely, Bill. Thank you for asking.

Don't mention it.

Oh, please.

Allow me, my dear.

Why, thank you very much.

It is my pleasure.

Jimmy, can I talk with you for a second?

Bill,

do you have something you'd like to
share with the rest of us?

What have you done to him?

I've educated him on proper behavior.

Oh, really?

We don't need your education. We don't
need your thought control.

Bill, please, that's not a very nice
tone of voice to take to a lady.

This has been a very productive day for
Jimmy.

He's improved his listening skills, his
grammar, and his manners.

You could learn a thing or two from him,
Mr. McNeil.

Sure I could.

Well, it's time for us to go.

Will you give me a call, Jimmy? It would
be my pleasure. Oh, thank you. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Rodney. Goodbye.

You had me scared there.

Don't worry.

I just had to play her game till she got
interested in me.

I'll bring her over to the dark side
later.

Did you get her number? Yeah, sort of.

She gave it to me in a math problem.

It's 212, and then you're supposed to
subtract this number from this number,

that would be... I forgot my backpack.

Yeah. Rodman, Rodman, come here.

Could you help me out with this?

Enter.

5550122.

Excellent. Thanks, thanks. And just
remember, everything she tells you is

555, wait a minute, 555, that's one of
those fake telephone numbers.

All right, for the last time, those
magazines are not my property. What, are

telling me you're part of some sort of
socialist porn swapping club or

something? You know, it's women like you
that drive men to magazines. I knew it.

All right, enough.

You guys want to know who the office
porn fiend is? Yes.

What's it worth to you?

$5 ,000.

Let's just say you promised to help me
with my golf essay instead.

Done. Lisa?

Fine, whatever.

I just want to get it over with. All
right.

I just want you to know it is not easy
for me because I am not a snitch.

All right.

It was me.

Yes. Why?

A friend of mine told me that you can
make a lot of money writing the dirty

letters to the editor in those
magazines.

Anyway, here is the essay that you
promised to help me with. So, actually,

not so much an essay as it is more of a
letter. And let me guess, it's not

really about golf.

No, no, the beginning is, but then it,
you know, it kind of meanders off.

Anyway, thanks a lot. You're welcome.

Uh, grammatically correct? No, I was
going to say physically possible.

Oh.

Beth? Yeah?

Did those kids leave yet? About an hour
ago.

Then could you take care of something
for me?

They were kissing.

I know. It's icky, isn't it?

Bye Adam.

Thank you.