All language subtitles for The.Office.US.S04E04.EXTENDED.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

- Hi, man.
- Hey, guys.

This is my girlfriend, Amy.

- Hi.
- Hey, Amy, how you doing?

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

This is everybody else.

Hey.

This is the place, so
thanks for the lift.

- Yeah, sure, I'll, I'll
see you tonight, right?

- Absolutely.
- Okay.

Okay.

(Amy laughs)

Whoa, easy, tiger.

I just really like you.

- Okay, goodbye, you
guys, nice to meet you.

- Bye.
- You have a great day.

Whoa, Toby.

Watch out, you're gonna to
violate your own PDA memo.

- I wouldn't wanna do
that, now, would I?

(upbeat music)

(marker squeaking)

Smell that, you smell that?

Dry rot?

- No, Dwight, that smells
like good business to me.

What I have done here

is I have collected all
the finest gourmet items

that Scranton has to offer.

- My mom runs a
gourmet cheese shop

in Rye, New York
every year for Easter.

Instead of candy, we
would take a basket

and hunt for individually
wrapped soft cheeses.

Taught me an appreciation
for the finer things,

which I maintain to this day.

Hmm, sweet, chocolate turtles.

Yes, no.

No, those are for our clients.

Actually our ex-clients,
I'll explain later.

Ryan wants everything
in our company

to be about emails and IMs,

but I think he is forgetting

about the original
instant message.

Letters attached
to baskets of food.

Excuse me, Angela.

Michael asked me to
turn in these receipts

for these gift basket items.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Is that all?

Yes.

I miss you.

Elevators.

Dwight, you have
to listen to me.

We are not seeing
each other anymore.

Can you accept that?

Fine.

Then I just wanna be friends.

Good.

Plus a little extra.

Also, I love you.

'Sup?

Hi, Creed, what's up?

- Just 'boardin',
you know how we do.

I like your hair.

I don't know if I told you.

Thanks, ese.

So what are you guys doing?

What do you mean?

To look younger.

So the kid doesn't
replace you with machines.

- I think I'll just
take my chances.

- Suit yourself, but if
it were me Botox, wig.

What?

- I don't understand
what the big deal is.

- You don't?
- No.

You lied about being pregnant.

Right, so?

You really don't understand

why that might make
me kind of angry?

No.

- We're never getting
back together.

Why not?

Hey.

Hey.

All right, I just have to ask.

Now that we're public,
is the magic gone?

- It's funny you bring
that up, because yes it is.

I knew it, oh, man.

Just like that, huh?

- I think, I mean, I don't
know what it is, but-

Be honest.

I now find you repulsive.

That's honest.

(exhales)

All right, fair enough.

It was really fun while it
lasted, though, wasn't it?

Yeah.

For me it was.

Okay.

All right.

- These need to
go on the outside.

The pipe cleaner needs
to go through the corner.

Do not tape those on.

- Hey, Michael?
- Mhm?

- Jan called and asked where
you're gonna meet for dinner.

She wants you to call her.

I'm a little busy right now.

Could you BlackBerry
me a message?

Sure.

Michael doesn't know how
to work his BlackBerry.

So when he says,
"BlackBerry me a message,"

he means write it
on a post-it note

and stick it to his BlackBerry.

(Dwight grunts)

- Hey, boss, I didn't know
you were coming in today.

What's going on here?

I am glad that you asked.

Listen up, everybody.

In the last year, we have lost

seven clients to the big chains.

These gift baskets are our
ticket back into their lives.

We are going to show up at
these businesses unannounced,

and we are going
to win them back.

With gift baskets.

- With peanut brittle,
with macadamia nut cookies,

with chocolate turtles,
with raspberry jam,

and a little bit
of fat and salt,

because, you know what,
that's what people like.

Ever since I was a kid,

people have been telling
me that I can't do things.

"You can't be on the team."

"You can't move on
to second grade."

Well, now they're telling me
that I can't win back clients

using old-fashioned
business methods.

We'll see about that.

And, FYI, I eventually
aced second grade,

and I was the
biggest kid in class.

Okay, we're gonna
split up into teams.

Jim, Phyllis.

Stanley, Dwight.

Me, Andy.

I'm not driving with him.

- [Andy] I'll go
with you Stanley.

Or him.

- Why don't we just
go by ourselves?

Why don't we just go as teams

to demonstrate our teamsmanship?

[Phyllis] Michael?

- Yes?
- This is stupid.

- Okay, that's not
helpful, Phyllis.

Business to business,
the old-fashioned way.

No BlackBerrys, no websites.

I would like to see a website

deliver baskets
of food to people.

- Giving gift baskets
to our ex-clients

is not that bad an idea

because personalized
customer service

is our one big selling point.

Michael's last good
idea was three years ago

when he gave gift baskets
to our current clients.

- How is giving
people gift baskets

going to get our clients back?

- Gift baskets are
amazing, Phyllis.

Gift baskets are the essence
of class and fanciness.

They are the ultimate present
that a person can receive.

What about cash?

With cash you could
buy whatever you want,

including a gift basket,

so it's kind of
the best gift ever.

- What about a gift
basket full of cash?

Yes, cash basket.

Nice work, Tuna.

- Fine, I'm just
gonna by myself,

and I'm going to win
them back by myself

because this is important to me.

Michael, wait, let me go.

No, this is my quest.

Please, let me go.

I need to win
those clients back.

Please?

- Fine, then godspeed
to both of us.

Why am I helping Michael?

It's not easy when a
customer leaves you.

First there's sadness, then
anger and self-blaming,

nausea, tears, sleepless nights.

So it can't be easy for Michael

to try and heal
that relationship

and lay it all out on the table

and say, "Yes, our paper is
significantly more expensive,

but deep down, you know,
I can't live without you."

[Ryan] Good luck, Michael.

We don't need luck.

[Dwight] Yeah.

- But thank you, that was
really nice of you to say.

[Dwight] Thank you.

- Odds are against
us, but you know what?

History is full of
examples of people

overcoming great odds
to pull off miracles.

The 1980 men's
Olympic hockey team

is one example.

Dwight, what's, how you doing?

I just felt that if we
were to downsize Kelly,

and then outsource
customer service to India,

which a lot of companies...

Yeah, no, yes, Kelly is Indian.

I understand that's confusing.

- Hey, brah, I've been
meaning to ask you.

Can we get some Red
Bull for these things?

Sometimes a guy's gotta
ride the bull, am I right?

Later, skater.

- Nancy, by tomorrow
at the latest, okay?

Sorry, what is this for?

Oh, it's not for anything.

It's just a token
of the appreciation

of Dunder Mifflin Incorporated.

Yes.

- You do know we
left you guys, right?

We do, we do.

But we valued your business,

and we just wanted
you to know that,

straight from the horse's mouth.

Okay, well, thanks.

Well.

- Jill, I need this
in the morning.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you for even considering

coming back to us,
it's important.

And if you do decide
to come back to us,

we will not stop you.

There's rum cake in there.

Oh, great.

(laughs)

Could you leave that on my desk?

Yes, I'll do exactly that.

Jack.

- She'll need that first
thing in the morning.

That's the kind of customer
service we provide.

You want me to finish
passing those out?

- Ah, ah, ah,
let's go, let's go.

- So when the customer
makes an order,

it gets emailed directly
to the warehouse,

and then a copy of the
form goes to your inbox.

How do we bill them?

You don't.

The invoicing, the
account reconciliation,

and all the followup claims

just go right to
your BlackBerry.

So what do the accountants do?

- Well, unless there's a
real problem client, nothing.

- This is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to us.

No, it's not.

Are you kidding me?

- It was already a stretch
that they needed three of us.

Now they don't even need one.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- They can probably just have
the corporate accountants

handle everything from New York.

I have a ton of debt.

I am terrible with money.

Losing this job is
not an option for me.

It is time to turn on
the old Malone charm.

- Sweet ride, American-made.

What happened to the Sebring?

It is in the body shop.

Had to have the dent taken out

of the hood where
I hit Meredith.

Oh, that's a pain in the ass.

I know.

So who's next?

- Larry Myers, left a six
months ago for Office Depot.

- [GPS] Proceed to
the highlighted route,

then route guidance will begin.

Why do you use that thing?

It lets them know where
you are at all times.

[Michael] Who?

- The government, spy
satellites, private detectives.

Ex-girlfriends. (sobs)

- Next night, I'm out
at a bar, 2:00 a.m.

I figure I'll get a sandwich,

'cause you can get a sandwich
any time of the night.

I run into Vince Vaughn.

No way.

Literally.

Dude, you are so money,

but you don't even
know it, but you do.

Later, guys.

- Yeah, later, dude.
- Later, man.

Jim, how awesome is Ryan now?

- Yeah, he's
definitely something.

What does that mean?

- That whole lifestyle,
his whole vibe.

You find that appealing?

Ha, Tuna.

- Tuna, Tuna, Tuna.
- Tuna, Tuna, Tuna.

- He has a killer
job, he's rich.

He smells like what I think

Pierce Brosnan
probably smells like.

He wears really cool
rich guy clothes.

- And he can get any
girl that he wants.

So, sorry, Tuna,

but if you don't know
why that's awesome,

then you need awesome lessons.

Tuna, check you later.

'Cause he so money that
he doesn't even know it.

Wow, those things are heavy.

There's a lot of stuff in there.

We have macadamia nut cookies.

The honey mustard pretzels.

Have you ever tried
focaccia crisps?

- You know we closed our
account with you, right?

Yes, we do.

We're with Office Depot now.

- Yes.
- Yes, yes we know,

but we just have
not gotten over you.

Well.

- And we are dedicated
to providing you

with the very best
customer service.

The very best personal
business relationship.

That's exactly right.

- We can, if you ever
decide to come back to us.

- Okay, I don't think
we're coming back.

Please come back.

Okay, you know what?

Just enjoy the gift basket,

and remember that we
provide a personal touch.

Remember what we had, Larry.

- I mean, really,
it's about money.

- Well, just enjoy
the gift basket.

- Okay, thanks.
- All right.

- I mean, their website's
really easy to use, too.

That's a big deal for us.

[Michael] That guy was so.

How can they not know
how much better we are?

I don't know.

Sometimes people
are just impossible

and they make you miserable.

[Michael] That is true.

- [Dwight] Like
Angela in accounting.

[Michael] Yes, she is nuts.

- Ugh, no, she's
wonderful, at accounting,

but she drives me crazy.

- [GPS] Make the
next right turn.

How do they know?

How does this know
where to turn?

That's very impressive.

- I'm there like two weeks,
I walk out of the bar,

and I literally ran
into Vince Vaughn.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I talked to him for a bit, too.

He was, couldn't be cooler.

Wow, that is awesome.

- Did you tell Kelly?
- It was really cool.

She'll freak out.

- Why would I,
we're not together.

Why does everyone-

- Oh, no, no, no, I just
figured, she likes celebrities.

- Anyway.
- Anyway.

- You should come visit,
the city is amazing.

I know, I love it there.

- No, you don't know
until you live there.

There's something about
waking up every morning

and just being in that city.

- Yeah, last time I was
there I had a lot of fun.

- No, you can't
imagine it though,

the energy when
you're actually there.

You're just part of
something bigger than you,

that's moving faster than you.

Your dreams are, just,
everything feels so limitless.

- Sounds great.
- No.

It's not about how it sounds.

Birdcage.

It's the awesomest.

Hold on one second.

Jim Halpert.

Hey.

- Oh, I'm so sorry I
haven't called you.

Yeah.

Let me get that
for you right now.

- And the last guy
says, "No, hairy body."

- You know, I have
heard it before.

- Ah, well, it's
still very good.

I bet I know someone who
hasn't heard that joke.

Your daughter, Emily,
how's she doing?

- She's great,
thanks for asking.

Great memory, by the way.

- She gonna be,
like, 11 this winter?

Wow, they grow up so fast.

I have a few of my own
that I want some day.

Listen, I don't wanna take
any more of your time,

I know you're a very busy man.

The reason we have stopped
by is to drop you off

this elaborate bag of goodies
and to ask you to reconsider.

Oh, okay.

Okay, okay.

So you'll reconsider?

Okay, thanks for the goodies.

Ah.

Is that all you have to say?

- It looks delicious,
I don't know.

You don't know?

Look, we want you back.

Can you offer lower prices?

Well, no.

Then we're not coming back.

- He's not coming back,
it's over, Michael.

No, it's not.

- No, he's right.
- No.

- Accept it, why
would he come back?

Why would he come back?

I will tell you Dwight.

He would come back
because we offer

a wide selection of products,

and because you're
definitely not getting

the same sort of
customer service

that you get with us, are you?

- That's not gonna change
his mind, he's moving on.

We had our chance
and we killed it.

Look.

We're also coming out
with a website soon.

It's a state-of-the-art thing.

It'll be up and running.

It's gonna cut costs,

and it will make ordering
much, much easier.

Oh, okay.

Well, when it's up,
I'll check it out,

and if it really cuts costs,
maybe we'll come back.

Great.

The magic of the gift basket.

- That I don't
care about as much.

Let me know when the site's up.

Okay, good.

Don't let Emily have any
of the Cajun almonds,

she's allergic.

Hey, Pam, I haven't settled on

a final design logo yet for
Dunder Mifflin Infinity,

and I know you're
into graphic design.

Do you wanna give it a shot?

Maybe try and design the logo?

Totally.

Cool, that would be great.

Can you do a couple mock-ups
and I'll take a look?

- Yeah.
- Thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- Cool.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm gonna
do some mock-ups,

and then turn those
into thumbnails.

Maybe do some splash frames.

I don't know what I'm talking
about, but I'm excited.

[GPS] Proceed straight.

- [Dwight] Well,
we're oh-for-six.

Last chance is the
Elmhurst Country Club.

Other side of the lake
on the southeast side.

[Michael] I don't get it.

I really don't get it, I
thought this would work.

Threw everything I had
at that guy and nothing.

- [Dwight] That's how it
goes sometimes, you know.

You lose everything and
everything falls apart,

and eventually you die
and no one remembers you.

- [Michael] That is a
very good point, Dwight.

[GPS] Make a right turn.

- [Dwight] Wait, wait,
wait, no, no, no.

It means bear right up there.

- [Michael] No, it said
right, it said take a right.

[Dwight] No, no, no, look.

It means go up to the right,
bear right over the bridge

- and hook up with 307.
- Make a right turn.

Maybe it's a shortcut, Dwight.

It said go to the right.

- [Dwight] It can't mean
that, there's a lake there.

- [Michael] I think it
knows where it is going.

This is the lake.

- The machine knows
- This is the lake.

- Stop yelling at me.
- No, it's up there.

There's no road here.

Remain calm, I have
trained for this.

Okay, exit the
window, here we go.

- [GPS] Make a
U-turn if possible.

[Dwight] Look out for leeches.

Michael, are you okay?

Swim for it.

I got you, I got you.

Michael, Michael.

- [Michael] Let
go, let go of me.

- Michael.
- Come on.

- [Dwight] I've got
you, I'm with you.

Come on, come on.

You sure you're okay?

Fine.

Good.

That is what's most important.

- Did you get the
rental insurance?

Because that is pretty
important, too, at
a time like this.

- Malone set it up, now
Malone knocks it down.

- Hey, Ryan.
- Hey, Kev.

What's going on?

So corporate is great, huh?

I love it.

Awesome.

- Fire Guy.
- Kevin.

I asked you specifically.

Right, dammit.

Well, I gave it my best shot.

If I go down, at
least I can say that.

(tow truck rumbling)

- [Michael] What a
disaster, this whole thing.

I'll call a cab.

- These people just
don't realize what
a gift basket means.

They don't get it.

- Look at that, still works,
old-fashioned cell phone.

- Eh, what about
that last guy, Aaron?

Boy, is he a jerk.

I don't even know if I want it.

Their website is so easy.

Yeah, well, you can have
your technology, jackass.

Look where it got us.

- Yes, we need a cab
at Lake Scranton,

at the end of East
Mountain Road, in the lake.

Hang up.

You know what we're gonna do?

We're walking back.

We're walking back
to that office,

and we're going to
reclaim our gift basket.

Yes.

- We're gonna take
what's rightfully ours.

We're gonna take
a stand, Dwight.

We're gonna take a stand.

Take a stand.

- So it plays on the
infinity thing without

- being obvious, you know?
- Yeah, definitely.

- I'd love to do
like a color version,

just bring a little color-

I like it a lot.

It's clear and subtle
at the same time.

It's really good, you have a
real talent for this stuff.

Thanks.

- I'd love to talk
to you about it more.

That'd be great.

- Do you wanna go out
to dinner tonight?

- Oh, is it-

Wear something nice.

No.

What?

I just wanted to have dinner

I'm dating Jim.

You're kidding.

We're together.

That's great, that's awesome.

Yeah, great.

So let me look at these.

Okay, great.

- Cool.
- Great.

- I guess he can't
get any girl he wants.

Please?

I will be back soon,
and I really need to
talk to you, okay?

I've realized some things, okay?

I'm so desperate.

Okay.

I love you.

Who was that?

Stanley.

Did you forget something?

What happened to you guys?

Give it back.

The gift basket, give it back.

What is this?

It's real simple.

If you don't
appreciate what we do,

then give us back our basket.

Maybe you should leave.

- Yeah, maybe we should,
maybe we should leave.

Come on, let's leave.

But before we leave,
my wet friend and I

are gonna wait for our
cabs on your nice couches.

Can you call us a cab, please?

I'm gonna, oh, sorry.

- [Michael] My
clothes are so wet.

Nice leather.

Oh, my shoes are so muddy.

- All right, here
you go, take it back.

It's been opened.

Yeah, it was mine.

What's missing?

The turtles.

Where are the turtles,
where are the turtles?

- Come on, guys,
get out of here.

Where are the turtles?

Where are they?

- Excuse me, I have an
announcement to make.

We seem to be missing a box

of chocolate
turtles with pecans,

and we will not be
leaving the premises

until we obtain them.

Hand over the turtles now.

I ate them, okay?

I ate the turtles, they're gone.

We'll bill you.

- May I have your
attention, please?

This office will not be using
any new technology ever.

Starting now.

That is not correct.

- Ryan thinks that
technology is the answer.

Well, guess what?

I just drove my car into a lake.

You did what?

- I drove my car
into a (beep) lake.

Why, you may ask, did I do this?

Well, because of a machine.

A machine told me to drive
into a lake and I did it.

I did it because I trusted
Ryan's precious technology,

and look where it got me.

Into a lake.

Exactly.

Did you get any clients back?

Maybe, maybe not.

Time will tell.

But I will tell you one thing,

those gift baskets never
endangered anybody's lives.

Game, set, match.

Point, Scott.

Game over.

End of game.

(glass jingling)

Everyone always
wants new things.

Everybody likes new
inventions, new technology.

People will never be
replaced by machines.

In the end, life and business
are about human connections,

and computers are about trying
to murder you in a lake.

And, to me, the choice is easy.

get broken and mixed up,

and you wish that you
could go back in time

and just open your
heart like a book,

but time travel is not
yet advisable, so plan B.

(elevator dings)

(elevator dings)

Hey, hey, listen.

I am sorry, okay?

I am so sorry about Sprinkles.

You don't mean it.

No, I don't.

And that should make my apology
all the more meaningful.

I'm only doing it because
of how much I love you.

Dwight, it's over.

I can't get past
everything that happened.

I almost died today.

I almost drowned
to death in a car,

and the only thing I
could think of was,

I wish my Monkey
were here with me.

Why, so I could die with you?

- No, that's not what I
meant, I'm talking about-

You know what, stop it.

Just stop it, stop it.

We're no longer dating.

It's over.

And I'm sorry.

I'm not giving up, Monkey.

My name is Angela Martin,

and I'm your corporate
accountant, period.

- Hey, Ryan, how do you
like living in New York?

It's unbelievable.

There's no way to
prepare yourself

for actually living
there all the time.

There's so many people
and so many sounds.

Like, when I come back here

and stay at my parent's
house, it's too quiet.

Like a birdcage.

- [Ryan] It freaks me
out, I can't sleep,

'cause it's too quiet, 'cause
there's not enough happening.

Like, the real people that
would wear that shirt, yeah.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

[Jim] Mhm.

Oh, yes, hello, Mr. Phillips.

I have the file right here.

I've been waiting for your call.

Yep.

Tuesday's not gonna work.

[Pam] Probably 10 minutes.

- Yeah, well, no
day's gonna work

- to get on the course.
- Let's go through it.

- I can't, I'm unfortunately
not allowed to do that.

Okay.

- N-1-G-S-M.
- Yep, I totally agree.

I actually really want to know

what we're eating
for dinner tonight.

I wanna get Thai food.

(upbeat music)