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'This programme contains
very strong language
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00:00:02,701 --> 00:00:04,981
from the outset and throughout.'
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# I've been waiting a long time
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# For this moment to come
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# I'm destined...
No!
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# For anything at all...
Wait!
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Jesus Christ, Cardi.
Just pick a packet, will you?
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There's no thought goes into this.
There's no skill.
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Look...
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Three golden tickets out of
a possible five have been found -
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one in a cheese and onion,
one in a W-Worcester sauce,
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and one in a s-salt and vinegar.
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So smoky bacon and ready salted
are odds-on for the golden ticket.
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Exactly.
Ah, Meena.
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What's the crack with you?
Fuck all.
16
00:00:47,901 --> 00:00:49,901
Bored. Not enough people are dying.
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Business slow, then, is it?
It's like a morgue.
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00:00:52,621 --> 00:00:54,661
Ah.
It's not funny.
19
00:00:54,701 --> 00:00:56,581
Mm.
Could you hurry up, knobhead?
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There's people waiting.
Sorry. Can you fuck off, knobhead?
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I'm looking at the crisps.
I'll take as long as I need.
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Do you understand? Yeah? Cool!
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00:01:04,341 --> 00:01:06,901
Hey, Cardi, relax. Sorry about him.
24
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,661
Hi, Carol?
25
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,821
Yeah, er, yeah, he's with me now.
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00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:13,341
Yeah, all six foot two of him.
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00:01:13,381 --> 00:01:16,981
Erm... Yeah, listen.
Do you think ready salted or smoky -
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You what?
29
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No way!
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Ah! Please wait.
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00:01:24,181 --> 00:01:27,381
What did I do in a past life
to deserve you here today, eh?
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00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,661
Sorry, Carol. You what?
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Oh... No, no, it's not a problem.
Not a problem at all. Yeah.
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00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:35,941
Fuck. All right, we're on our way.
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All right. Love you, baby. Bye.
Yeah?
36
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Well, smoky bacon.
37
00:01:41,021 --> 00:01:44,021
Let's do this.
No. As in, what's the story, like?
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Which story?
39
00:01:45,701 --> 00:01:47,821
The phone call, Cardi,
that you just had.
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00:01:47,861 --> 00:01:50,141
Oh, yeah. Er, Carol said that...
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00:01:50,181 --> 00:01:51,661
What did she say?
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00:01:51,701 --> 00:01:54,981
She said that you've had your...
Your Yoda's had her caravan nicked.
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She what? Was she in it?
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00:01:56,781 --> 00:01:58,541
Was she?
Was she?
45
00:01:59,261 --> 00:02:01,501
You're asking me?
Was she in it when it happened?
46
00:02:01,541 --> 00:02:02,701
Yoda?
Yeah!
47
00:02:02,741 --> 00:02:04,301
I didn't ask.
My goodness.
48
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:07,381
We need to get over there now.
I've got my car, if you want a lift.
49
00:02:07,421 --> 00:02:09,501
Good woman. Shotgun! C'mon, Cardi!
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Fuck!
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You haven't?
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# The best things in life are free
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# But you can give them
to the birds and bees
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# I need money...
# That's what I want... #
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I just, I don't see how this is even
a little bit necessary, man?
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Believe me, there's plenty of things
I'D rather be doing.
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00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:45,501
Fuck me.
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00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,981
So, how have you been?
We're not doing THAT!
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00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:51,621
We're not having small talk while
you try and fist me back there.
60
00:02:51,661 --> 00:02:55,221
It tends to relax everyone
if we have a little conversation.
61
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What do you mean EVERYONE?
Why do YOU have to relax?
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Ooh.
63
00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:02,021
Don't worry, that wasn't you.
Ha-ha.
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00:03:02,061 --> 00:03:03,901
Fuckin' dickhead.
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00:03:03,941 --> 00:03:06,621
Right, just gonna...
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00:03:06,661 --> 00:03:09,941
No.
Just point your toes inwards.
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00:03:12,861 --> 00:03:14,781
Dude.
You have to give me something.
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00:03:14,821 --> 00:03:18,461
I... I feel like that's generous.
That's a good amount of finger.
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All right, deep breath.
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00:03:21,581 --> 00:03:23,781
Oh, fucking hell.
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00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,661
Haven't seen you for a while.
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00:03:27,781 --> 00:03:31,061
Maybe you don't need me so much
since you've been seeing Fiona.
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00:03:31,101 --> 00:03:33,061
The new therapist?
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00:03:33,101 --> 00:03:35,141
Yeah, she's lo...
She's lovely, actually.
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00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:38,101
She's helping.
She is helping, making a difference.
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Bet.
What you fucking laughing at?
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00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,661
Oh, is that
a bit of professional jealousy
78
00:03:42,701 --> 00:03:45,141
or something? You fucker! Fuck me!
79
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:47,701
Both hands or summat back there?
What's going on.
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00:03:47,741 --> 00:03:49,661
Right, perfect.
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00:03:50,461 --> 00:03:52,861
Nice smooth prostate.
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00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:55,301
Ooh. Armful of dicks.
83
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,541
Nothing to report down there.
Thank God!
84
00:03:59,301 --> 00:04:01,021
Well, all that's left to do now,
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00:04:01,061 --> 00:04:03,101
is go and cut
that enormous wheel of cheese
86
00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:05,421
you put that fucking coat on for.
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00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:07,141
Dude. Fucking hell.
88
00:04:08,981 --> 00:04:10,381
Right...
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00:04:12,181 --> 00:04:14,301
How's your...hernia?
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00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,261
What are you on about,
bloody hernia?
91
00:04:17,301 --> 00:04:18,901
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
What?
92
00:04:18,941 --> 00:04:22,661
God, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
What?
93
00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:24,861
You're "O'Neil", aren't you?
Yeah.
94
00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:27,101
I have Vince "O'Malley".
I'll get your records.
95
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,581
Dickhead.
96
00:04:28,621 --> 00:04:32,541
You fingered me for no reason?
Fucking hell, man.
97
00:04:32,581 --> 00:04:34,621
You wouldn't believe
how often this happens.
98
00:04:34,661 --> 00:04:37,021
I fucking WOULD believe
how often that happens!
99
00:04:37,061 --> 00:04:40,141
Fucking Carol. You all right, love?
100
00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:45,341
You all right?
Oh, eh, it's Meena, innit?
101
00:04:45,381 --> 00:04:47,501
How's me hair? Is it all right?
It's all right.
102
00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:49,421
What about the front?
Best it's ever been.
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00:04:49,461 --> 00:04:52,021
You all right?
How the man?
104
00:04:52,061 --> 00:04:54,181
Is that where Yoda's caravan was,
down yonder?
105
00:04:54,221 --> 00:04:56,181
Just that plot there, yeah.
Who's "Yoda"?
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00:04:56,221 --> 00:04:57,501
My great gran.
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00:04:57,541 --> 00:04:59,621
It's a nickname -
cos her name's Rhoda.
108
00:04:59,661 --> 00:05:02,901
Is it fuck! It's because she looks
exactly like Yoda.
109
00:05:02,941 --> 00:05:04,781
What the fuck have I told you lot?
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00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:07,421
My great gran looks NOTHING
like fucking Yoda. Right?
111
00:05:07,461 --> 00:05:10,861
No, all I'm saying is, George Lucas
has got a law suit out on her.
112
00:05:10,901 --> 00:05:12,741
Shut your fucking mouth, Tommo.
113
00:05:12,781 --> 00:05:15,541
She looks NOTHING like fucking Yoda!
No.
114
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:18,861
No, she doesn't, but she sounds
the fucking spit of him, you know?
115
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,981
Come here! I warned you, Tommo!
116
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,381
Does she?
Yeah, honestly.
117
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Swear to fucking God.
Oh, here they come!
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00:05:24,181 --> 00:05:27,981
The Red Hand Gang on the Case Of
The Mysterious Disappearing Caravan.
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00:05:28,021 --> 00:05:31,901
The big mystery is why would
anyone nick that rotten old thing
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00:05:31,941 --> 00:05:34,541
when there's all these decent ones
around. Makes no sense.
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00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:38,021
I agree. I think...
Just... J-J-J-Just... Fuck me!
122
00:05:38,061 --> 00:05:40,021
Oi! Give over. Pair of cunts.
123
00:05:40,061 --> 00:05:42,021
Ashley,
where the fucking hell's Doolan?
124
00:05:42,061 --> 00:05:43,861
I thought he were living
with fucking Yoda?
125
00:05:43,901 --> 00:05:46,061
No! He went back to Ireland.
126
00:05:46,101 --> 00:05:47,781
Get out of it.
He's in hiding.
127
00:05:47,821 --> 00:05:49,261
Fucking...
Or...
128
00:05:49,301 --> 00:05:52,541
Or has he kidnapped himself again?
No, he took himself off -
129
00:05:52,581 --> 00:05:54,861
after the McGuigans
put a bounty on his head
130
00:05:54,901 --> 00:05:57,781
because he called off the engagement
with their eldest, Dervla.
131
00:05:57,821 --> 00:06:00,181
Daddy, he's done it again!
132
00:06:00,221 --> 00:06:02,141
So, who's Doolan?
It's er...
133
00:06:02,181 --> 00:06:03,701
It's Ashley's uncle.
134
00:06:03,741 --> 00:06:05,341
He's got a pathological desire
135
00:06:05,381 --> 00:06:07,421
to get engaged
to every woman that he meets.
136
00:06:07,461 --> 00:06:09,341
He's weird.
What's your problem today?
137
00:06:09,381 --> 00:06:12,621
Look, it's not his fault he's got
an animal magnetism, all right?
138
00:06:12,661 --> 00:06:14,461
He's a hopeless romantic.
139
00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:17,381
He's catnip to a certain type
of female caravan-dweller.
140
00:06:17,421 --> 00:06:19,461
He is.
Wow.
141
00:06:19,501 --> 00:06:21,661
All right, for Christ's sake.
Bloody Francis.
142
00:06:21,701 --> 00:06:23,541
What the fuck does he want with us?
143
00:06:23,581 --> 00:06:26,141
I mean, we know fuck all
about missing caravans, do we?
144
00:06:26,181 --> 00:06:28,461
He's just trying to get
anyone he can to find it.
145
00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:30,981
He's even offering a reward.
146
00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:33,141
Now he's after going nuclear
on someone over.
147
00:06:33,181 --> 00:06:36,501
You fucking pricks!
You fucking arseholes!
148
00:06:36,541 --> 00:06:38,501
Keep your head down
when this happens.
149
00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:40,941
Right, yous, fuck off out!
150
00:06:40,981 --> 00:06:42,741
Go on, fuck off out!
151
00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:44,581
That's not ideal, is it.
152
00:06:45,741 --> 00:06:47,421
And yous...
Hey, Francis.
153
00:06:47,461 --> 00:06:49,221
Hey, Francis.
Fuck off in!
154
00:06:49,261 --> 00:06:50,901
All right, then.
155
00:06:50,941 --> 00:06:54,261
He did a full 360 then.
CAROL: Oh, here we fucking go.
156
00:07:00,181 --> 00:07:02,981
Last night, an elderly woman
157
00:07:03,021 --> 00:07:05,821
coming home from bingo
158
00:07:05,861 --> 00:07:08,701
was shocked to discover
her caravan...
159
00:07:10,741 --> 00:07:12,861
..had been
brutally abducted from her.
160
00:07:12,901 --> 00:07:16,061
May I ask,
how Rhoda is with everything now?
161
00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:18,101
Have you not FUCKING heard me?!
162
00:07:18,141 --> 00:07:19,901
She's fucking shocked!
163
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:22,861
Her home of 20 years robbed away.
164
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:26,501
So, erm, where is Granny?
Are we gonna get to see her?
165
00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:28,261
She's inside in the toilet.
166
00:07:28,301 --> 00:07:31,101
And what d'you mean,
are you going to get to see her?
167
00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:33,501
No...
168
00:07:33,541 --> 00:07:35,101
No reason.
169
00:07:35,861 --> 00:07:38,421
Ooh.
170
00:07:42,341 --> 00:07:43,741
There she blows.
171
00:07:46,941 --> 00:07:49,701
Now, then, Rhoda,
how's it going love?
172
00:07:49,741 --> 00:07:52,341
I'm... I'm super sorry
to hear about this...
173
00:07:52,381 --> 00:07:54,421
caravan...stealery.
174
00:07:54,461 --> 00:07:56,581
It's a rum do, innit? It's rum.
175
00:07:56,621 --> 00:07:58,901
Shocking business this is.
176
00:07:58,941 --> 00:08:02,981
Oh, it is that, Rhoda. It is.
Stolen me caravan, they have.
177
00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:06,301
Yes, we know. Shocking, Great Gran.
It really is.
178
00:08:06,341 --> 00:08:08,701
Shocked.
Were all very shocked, aren't we?
179
00:08:08,741 --> 00:08:11,661
Terribly so.
Oh, no, it's awful. It was...
180
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:14,781
Shocked about it, we are.
Sorry.
181
00:08:14,821 --> 00:08:18,861
So, erm, do you have you any idea
who might have...abducted it?
182
00:08:20,141 --> 00:08:24,261
Well, my thinking right now is
it's the type of people who erm...
183
00:08:24,301 --> 00:08:27,101
who like erm....
184
00:08:27,141 --> 00:08:28,661
stealing caravans.
185
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:31,541
"The type of people
who like stealing caravans."
186
00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:33,061
Mm.
I mean, who's that?
187
00:08:33,101 --> 00:08:36,701
Well, whoever it is,
they'll be dealt with fairly lively.
188
00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:39,221
But first thing's first.
189
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:42,341
That caravan needs returning -
immediately!
190
00:08:42,381 --> 00:08:44,981
Well, it...
Yeah, Franny it's just that...
191
00:08:46,101 --> 00:08:48,901
I worry we won't find it.
Only cos there's thousands of 'em.
192
00:08:48,941 --> 00:08:51,021
I just wouldn't know where to start.
Yeah.
193
00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:55,261
Would it not be easier, Francis,
just to buy her a brand-new one?
194
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,861
Would you like
a new caravan, Rhoda?
195
00:08:57,901 --> 00:09:00,141
It's just that the old one
was very falling apart
196
00:09:00,181 --> 00:09:02,301
and decrepit very much so.
It's fucked.
197
00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:05,381
Fucked very much so.
I'm not fucking deaf!
198
00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:08,301
Wouldn't mind a new one.
She doesn't want a new one!
199
00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:11,021
She wants the old one.
Let the rain in, the roof did.
200
00:09:11,061 --> 00:09:13,621
It has to be THAT one.
She's an emotional attachment to it.
201
00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:14,901
That's understandable.
202
00:09:14,941 --> 00:09:17,821
Which is why
I'm going to offer ten grand...
203
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,501
What the fuck?
204
00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:23,901
..for its return.
Big Daddy.
205
00:09:26,461 --> 00:09:29,461
Would like to get my Aloysius back.
206
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:32,741
Who's that, then?
CAROL: Aloysius is her stuffed cat.
207
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,101
It was in the caravan
at the time of abduction.
208
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,101
Stuffed cats. What is it
with old ladies loving stuffed cats?
209
00:09:38,141 --> 00:09:40,661
Stuffed cats and the smell of piss.
210
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,221
Oh, sorry.
211
00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:49,341
Come on. What the fuck, dude?
212
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,261
Fucking listen to me.
Listen to me.
213
00:09:51,301 --> 00:09:52,781
Yeah.
Ten fucking grand.
214
00:09:52,821 --> 00:09:55,141
Ten grand for a fucked-up,
fucking caravan.
215
00:09:55,181 --> 00:09:56,781
What the fuck does that all mean?
216
00:09:56,821 --> 00:09:59,581
Look, for that sort of money,
it's worth a fucking go.
217
00:09:59,621 --> 00:10:03,461
The amount of cash that stingy
bastard has squirreled away
all over the place,
218
00:10:03,501 --> 00:10:06,141
I'd say he could buy her
a new caravan ten times over.
219
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:08,061
Something's not
sitting right with me.
220
00:10:08,101 --> 00:10:11,061
Francis doesn't give a shite about
anything that doesn't benefit him.
221
00:10:11,101 --> 00:10:14,181
So why is he interested
in that shag of an old caravan?
222
00:10:14,221 --> 00:10:17,221
Yeah. He probably stashed
all his fortune in it.
223
00:10:17,261 --> 00:10:20,381
And that's why he's so desperate
to get it back.
224
00:10:20,421 --> 00:10:22,341
Bloody hell, Cardi,
you're a genius.
225
00:10:22,381 --> 00:10:23,941
That's what it is, in't it?
226
00:10:23,981 --> 00:10:26,141
Jesus Fucking Christ,
the lads got it!
227
00:10:26,181 --> 00:10:27,781
No.
You've fucking got it, mate.
228
00:10:27,821 --> 00:10:30,101
He's always tinkering
under Rhoda's caravan.
229
00:10:30,141 --> 00:10:33,101
It's probably where he's keeping
all his cash.
230
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,461
Nice one.
Right, so, listen.
231
00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:39,661
So we find that caravan,
as requested.
232
00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:41,901
We take the fucking money
from out of it.
233
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,901
He's gonna think the guys that
stole the caravan took the cash.
234
00:10:44,941 --> 00:10:47,341
We say, "We just found this caravan
dumped in a field."
235
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:50,581
Doesn't have to know, does he?
236
00:10:52,821 --> 00:10:55,941
So he...he's just gonna assume
that we've done our job.
237
00:10:55,981 --> 00:10:58,781
Right? You know what I mean?
We keep the fucking cash.
238
00:10:58,821 --> 00:11:00,821
He's gonna be none the wiser.
By the way...
239
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:04,101
we have a fucking reward
of ten fucking grand.
240
00:11:06,181 --> 00:11:08,781
Madam. Please, madam. Oh, madam!
241
00:11:08,821 --> 00:11:12,021
Oh, madam! Oh, shit, dude.
242
00:11:12,061 --> 00:11:13,341
Hello.
243
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,061
What's up, love?
244
00:11:15,101 --> 00:11:17,941
All right, sweetheart,
just slow down a little bit.
245
00:11:18,621 --> 00:11:21,221
All right.
Listen, I'm on my way right now.
246
00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:22,981
I'm on my way.
247
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:30,661
The police are on their way.
Just try to remain calm.
248
00:11:30,701 --> 00:11:32,621
Don't fucking tell me to calm down.
Erin.
249
00:11:32,661 --> 00:11:34,541
What's going on?
Tyler's gone missing.
250
00:11:34,581 --> 00:11:36,901
He not arrived at school, Vin.
All right, sweetheart.
251
00:11:36,941 --> 00:11:39,221
Where's the fucking police?!
They're on their way.
252
00:11:39,261 --> 00:11:41,221
Just calm down a little bit.
What do we know?
253
00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:43,061
He... He forgot his lunch box
254
00:11:43,101 --> 00:11:46,141
and when I came in t'school
to drop it off, he wasn't here.
255
00:11:46,181 --> 00:11:48,221
He could've bunked off, could he?
No.
256
00:11:48,261 --> 00:11:50,661
A voice message had been left
on the school phone.
257
00:11:50,701 --> 00:11:54,261
It appears a man
claiming to be Tyler's grandad
left a message on our voicemail
258
00:11:54,301 --> 00:11:57,381
to say that Tyler wouldn't be
in today due to him being ill.
259
00:11:57,421 --> 00:12:00,101
He hasn't got a fucking grandad!
We realise that now.
260
00:12:00,141 --> 00:12:02,621
Did you recognise his voice?
Do you know who it is?
261
00:12:02,661 --> 00:12:04,381
We don't know.
Christ on a bike,
262
00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:07,621
it's a fucking joke this, in't it?
The police are on their way.
263
00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:09,581
They'll be able
to trace the voicemail.
264
00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:12,341
I wanna hear the voicemail
fucking now!
265
00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:16,901
'Message received Friday at 8:47am.'
266
00:12:16,941 --> 00:12:19,421
JIM: 'This is
Tyler Croft's Grandad.'
267
00:12:19,461 --> 00:12:22,141
BOTH: Jim.
'I'm calling
to report Tyler absent.'
268
00:12:22,181 --> 00:12:24,541
I'll stop that there. That's Jim.
Yeah.
269
00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:26,781
Thanks for your time. Sorry.
OK. Sorry.
270
00:12:32,341 --> 00:12:33,901
Where is he?
Eh? Who?
271
00:12:33,941 --> 00:12:35,701
What do you mean who?
Fucking Tyler.
272
00:12:35,741 --> 00:12:37,381
Tyler?
Jim!
273
00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:39,941
I'm not fucking about. Where is he?
There.
274
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:47,341
Is he driving that juggernaut?
Jim!
275
00:12:47,381 --> 00:12:50,661
Fucking hell.
You're in some shit, dude.
276
00:12:50,701 --> 00:12:53,701
Tyler, we thought something terrible
might have happened to you.
277
00:12:53,741 --> 00:12:56,421
What were you thinking?
Why are you not at school?
278
00:12:56,461 --> 00:12:58,821
I don't like school.
Excuse me? Since when?
279
00:13:00,901 --> 00:13:03,541
You were fine last week.
What's the matter with you?
280
00:13:03,581 --> 00:13:05,941
Just forget it, Mum.
We'll talk about this at home.
281
00:13:05,981 --> 00:13:09,021
I am fuming with you.
Absolutely fuming with you.
282
00:13:09,061 --> 00:13:12,021
Right, so you tell me
how it's dangerous.
283
00:13:12,061 --> 00:13:14,141
I showed him where the brakes are.
284
00:13:14,181 --> 00:13:16,941
What are they gonna do at school
except fill his head
285
00:13:16,981 --> 00:13:20,141
with a load of woke bollocks
about the world being round?
286
00:13:20,181 --> 00:13:22,461
It fucking IS round.
Jesus Christ, Jim.
287
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:24,621
Look, the lad's doing good here.
288
00:13:24,661 --> 00:13:26,621
He's my best worker.
Is he?
289
00:13:26,661 --> 00:13:30,021
Are you paying him for it all?
Well, it's like an apprenticeship.
290
00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:32,861
Yeah, I'll bet it is. Yeah.
Invaluable life skills.
291
00:13:32,901 --> 00:13:37,021
He's the perfect size to climb in
and clear any jams in the baler.
292
00:13:37,061 --> 00:13:38,781
Right, Tyler?
It's a bad story to tell.
293
00:13:38,821 --> 00:13:40,781
We're going.
Vinnie, keep him away from me.
294
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,981
I'm gonna murder you, Jim.
I am gonna fucking murder you.
295
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:45,581
I understand. No, I get it.
Shut up, man.
296
00:13:45,621 --> 00:13:48,981
I'm not the totally insensitive
Neanderthal you think I am.
297
00:13:49,021 --> 00:13:52,181
I can tell when you're on a period.
It's no problem.
298
00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:53,941
What did you say?
Eh? No, no.
299
00:13:53,981 --> 00:13:56,581
What the fuck did you say, Jim?!
I didn't say anything!
300
00:13:56,621 --> 00:13:58,381
Say it again!
I didn't say anything!
301
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,541
You fucking did, Jim.
Say it again now!
302
00:14:00,581 --> 00:14:02,181
Vinnie.
You're a dickhead.
303
00:14:02,221 --> 00:14:04,821
You misheard me.
Keep her going, Vin.
304
00:14:15,301 --> 00:14:17,141
I might have the panini.
305
00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:24,381
I have to see a man
about a rabbit in half an hour.
306
00:14:24,421 --> 00:14:26,381
They're short-staffed.
307
00:14:26,421 --> 00:14:28,541
Shouldn't take much longer.
308
00:14:28,581 --> 00:14:31,021
What do you mean you have to see
a man about a rabbit?
309
00:14:31,061 --> 00:14:34,101
It means I have to see a man...
about a rabbit.
310
00:14:35,621 --> 00:14:39,741
Lola's gonna turn four. She really
wants a rabbit for her birthday.
311
00:14:39,781 --> 00:14:43,221
Wow. Four already? Time flies.
312
00:14:44,061 --> 00:14:45,541
Yep.
313
00:14:46,381 --> 00:14:50,821
I heard you've had some issues when
you took over the Benson Street lot.
314
00:14:50,861 --> 00:14:53,581
That's a whole load more plates
to keep spinning.
315
00:14:54,821 --> 00:14:57,021
I'm not losing any sleep.
316
00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:59,021
Yeah?
317
00:14:59,061 --> 00:15:01,181
You need to tell me your secret.
318
00:15:01,941 --> 00:15:05,301
No secret.
Just no caffeine after noon,
319
00:15:05,341 --> 00:15:07,541
a bit of yoga nidra...
320
00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:10,221
and people who can be depended on.
321
00:15:10,261 --> 00:15:12,221
And how IS Vincent?
322
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,261
Triple espresso...
323
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:19,981
and two hot chocolates.
324
00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:23,101
Er...two hot chocolates
with marshmallows.
325
00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:24,741
Oh, I'm really sorry.
326
00:15:24,781 --> 00:15:28,141
We were running low
and only had enough for the one?
327
00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:35,101
Shall we let our guest...
328
00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:37,741
have some of the marshmallows,
329
00:15:37,781 --> 00:15:39,381
Davey?
330
00:15:40,901 --> 00:15:43,381
Friends share, don't they?
331
00:15:45,381 --> 00:15:48,341
There's more than enough
to go round for everybody.
332
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,301
In't that right, Manolito?
333
00:15:53,541 --> 00:15:57,461
No need for anyone to get upset,
is there?
334
00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:00,941
It's not always so simple, though.
Oh?
335
00:16:00,981 --> 00:16:02,861
People DO get upset.
336
00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:07,061
Sometimes you have friends
who upset other friends.
337
00:16:07,101 --> 00:16:11,181
And those other friends, they don't
want to share with them any more.
338
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:14,181
Well, maybe in such a scenario...
339
00:16:14,981 --> 00:16:18,821
..you'll be well placed to make
the case to this..."friend"...
340
00:16:20,141 --> 00:16:23,101
..that such an arrangement
would be beneficial for all.
341
00:16:27,141 --> 00:16:29,261
We're friends.
342
00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:31,501
We can be trusted.
343
00:16:36,981 --> 00:16:39,021
You know we've honoured
our agreement
344
00:16:39,061 --> 00:16:42,301
not to circulate certain...pictures.
345
00:16:43,421 --> 00:16:46,701
Unfortunately, I very much doubt
I would have any success
346
00:16:46,741 --> 00:16:49,061
in persuading
this particular friend.
347
00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:51,301
You're being modest.
348
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:54,661
We both know you can be
very persuasive if you want to.
349
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,941
That's flattering...
350
00:16:56,981 --> 00:16:59,581
but this friend I'm thinking of...
351
00:16:59,621 --> 00:17:02,821
is quite discerning
about the company he keeps...
352
00:17:02,861 --> 00:17:05,061
and was adamant
about not doing business
353
00:17:05,101 --> 00:17:08,141
with anybody
who's unpleasant to his friends.
354
00:17:27,461 --> 00:17:29,021
Mm.
355
00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:32,101
I swear on our Barry's grave,
we didn't kidnap Dylan.
356
00:17:32,141 --> 00:17:33,781
We've been nowhere near him.
357
00:17:33,821 --> 00:17:36,221
So why would Dylan tell Vinnie
that you DID?
358
00:17:36,261 --> 00:17:37,861
I do not know, Donna.
359
00:17:37,901 --> 00:17:40,021
If he was here, I'd ask him.
360
00:17:40,061 --> 00:17:43,101
When you've finished sucking
on that, I'll wait in t'car.
361
00:17:50,061 --> 00:17:51,981
That goes in t'recycling.
362
00:17:52,021 --> 00:17:55,141
Then you should put it there,
if it means that much to you.
363
00:18:06,341 --> 00:18:08,701
You know, Tyler,
I'm so upset with you.
364
00:18:08,741 --> 00:18:10,221
I really am. I can't...
365
00:18:10,261 --> 00:18:12,461
Honestly, I can't believe
that you lied to me.
366
00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:16,181
I'm in two minds to not let you go
to this barbecue later on.
367
00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:18,021
Good.
368
00:18:18,061 --> 00:18:21,301
Excuse me, what do you mean "good"?
DRIVER: What the fuck?!
369
00:18:22,221 --> 00:18:24,861
I said "good". I don't wanna go.
370
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:26,501
Why don't you wanna go, man?
371
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:29,181
Cos Seb will be there -
and he picks on me.
372
00:18:29,221 --> 00:18:31,581
Seb? What you talking about?
You two are friends.
373
00:18:31,621 --> 00:18:33,581
You've known each other
since nursery.
374
00:18:33,621 --> 00:18:35,861
He's not my friend.
He still goes on about
375
00:18:35,901 --> 00:18:38,781
when I wet myself in nursery -
and tells everyone.
376
00:18:38,821 --> 00:18:40,741
Oh, God.
Right.
377
00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:43,501
This is the kid
that's bullied you before, is it?
378
00:18:43,541 --> 00:18:47,741
No, it's, erm, it's another one.
No, it's a little shit in his class.
379
00:18:47,781 --> 00:18:51,061
His mum's one of the PTA
cake stall Nazis.
380
00:18:51,101 --> 00:18:53,741
All right, well, listen,
don't worry about Seb.
381
00:18:53,781 --> 00:18:56,781
If I see him, I'll pull his arse -
We'll resolve it with words.
382
00:18:56,821 --> 00:18:59,701
We'll have a chat with him.
That's what grown-ups do.
383
00:18:59,741 --> 00:19:02,181
Right, I'll talk to Seb's mum later.
384
00:19:02,221 --> 00:19:04,461
What, at the barbecue thing?
Yeah.
385
00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:07,021
What is it, like,
a kids-and-parentsy type deal?
386
00:19:07,061 --> 00:19:08,861
It is, yeah.
So why the bloody hell
387
00:19:08,901 --> 00:19:11,621
haven't you asked ME to come?
Vin, you would've said no.
388
00:19:11,661 --> 00:19:13,621
I might not have done.
Might've wanted it.
389
00:19:13,661 --> 00:19:15,861
No, you hate things like that.
390
00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:18,821
Like what?
Things with lots of people there.
391
00:19:18,861 --> 00:19:22,261
Like a big, you know...
gathering...people.
392
00:19:22,301 --> 00:19:23,821
I DO avoid people.
393
00:19:23,861 --> 00:19:26,261
Well, fuck!
That's the abducted caravan!
394
00:19:26,301 --> 00:19:27,621
Shit!
What?
395
00:19:27,661 --> 00:19:29,621
Fucking ring Ashley!
Bloody caravan!
396
00:19:29,661 --> 00:19:30,941
Fuck!
397
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:49,581
ASHLEY: I can see Rhoda's caravan
hidden away up that hill there.
398
00:19:50,301 --> 00:19:54,061
It's definitely the McGuigans.
They got moved on last week.
399
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:56,581
Looks like they're fixing
for a celebration.
400
00:19:56,621 --> 00:19:59,261
The two of them sisters
there fighting...
401
00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:02,461
..they've both had the misfortune
to be engaged to Doolan before.
402
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:04,621
Why would they bother
taking a shite caravan?
403
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:07,541
Well, I mean, happen that's where
he DOES keep his bloody cash.
404
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:10,581
That's where Franny's money is.
He wouldn't know that. WE didn't.
405
00:20:10,621 --> 00:20:13,261
And we're flesh and blood.
It's deeper and thicker than water.
406
00:20:13,301 --> 00:20:15,741
Shut up! For crying out wittering.
407
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,861
Look, the fucking caravan's got
a ten-grand reward on it, right,
408
00:20:18,901 --> 00:20:20,821
and if we all find Franny's money,
409
00:20:20,861 --> 00:20:23,461
that's just a fucking
massive bonus, innit?
410
00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:26,381
Now listen to me now. Hey. Hey!
411
00:20:28,341 --> 00:20:30,581
I'm pondering, aren't I!
Give over pondering.
412
00:20:30,621 --> 00:20:32,661
I'm speculating.
I need you lot
413
00:20:32,701 --> 00:20:36,101
to scope that shit out after dark.
Eh? Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.
414
00:20:36,141 --> 00:20:38,821
"You lot"?
I've gotta go to a fucking barbecue.
415
00:20:38,861 --> 00:20:41,741
Do you know that? Shit.
There's loads of bloody spaces.
416
00:20:41,781 --> 00:20:43,901
We could've parked up here.
Oh, yeah.
417
00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:45,381
You all right?
Me?
418
00:20:45,421 --> 00:20:46,621
Yeah.
Yeah.
419
00:20:46,661 --> 00:20:48,781
Are YOU all right? How you feeling?
Fine.
420
00:20:48,821 --> 00:20:51,701
Good? Listen, I wouldn't blame you
if you weren't fine.
421
00:20:51,741 --> 00:20:53,501
You're not going in there
on your own.
422
00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:56,461
You're going in there with a very
exclusive properly hard gang.
423
00:20:56,501 --> 00:20:59,741
We're not a gang! We're a family.
Yes, well, it's the same, innit?
424
00:20:59,781 --> 00:21:02,821
It's the same,
only we never leave each other.
425
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:05,661
You know,
always have each other's back.
426
00:21:05,701 --> 00:21:07,661
Never not be there.
Do you understand?
427
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:09,141
Yeah.
Right, you.
428
00:21:09,181 --> 00:21:11,341
OK. What?
Better have my back in there.
429
00:21:11,381 --> 00:21:13,901
I'm terrified.
I've got your back.
430
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:17,541
Hi! Erin, Tyler.
Oh, I'm so glad you came.
431
00:21:17,581 --> 00:21:19,061
Mm.
432
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,781
I'm Vinnie. I'm Tyl...
Tyler's...
433
00:21:22,821 --> 00:21:24,301
I'm Tyler's dad.
Yeah.
434
00:21:24,341 --> 00:21:26,301
You're welcome. Come in, come in.
435
00:21:27,101 --> 00:21:29,141
Come on.
All right!
436
00:21:31,181 --> 00:21:33,381
# EMPIRE OF THE SUN:
We Are The People
437
00:21:35,581 --> 00:21:38,821
Oh, there you go. He's happy.
There's his mates, look.
438
00:21:38,861 --> 00:21:41,021
Got some friends over there.
Yeah.
439
00:21:41,061 --> 00:21:43,261
Help yourself to drinks.
Thank you.
440
00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:44,781
Erin.
Yeah?
441
00:21:44,821 --> 00:21:47,181
Are you OK?
Oh, hiya. You all right?
442
00:21:47,221 --> 00:21:49,141
No...
443
00:21:49,181 --> 00:21:50,661
No.
444
00:21:50,701 --> 00:21:52,301
Hubby!
445
00:21:52,341 --> 00:21:55,301
Introducing Vinnie.
Hiya. You all right?
446
00:21:55,341 --> 00:21:56,381
Vinnie.
Now, then.
447
00:21:56,421 --> 00:21:58,901
Good to finally meet you.
Heard a lot about you from Tyler.
448
00:21:58,941 --> 00:22:02,341
Have you? Little bugger.
Combination there.
449
00:22:02,381 --> 00:22:04,461
Do you know Greg, Craig,
Adrian, Toby?
450
00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:08,181
You all right, lads? How's it going?
Adrian's Eva's dad. Toby's Harry's.
451
00:22:08,221 --> 00:22:10,221
And Greg and Craig
are Freddy's dads.
452
00:22:10,261 --> 00:22:13,261
So welcome to the dad gang.
It's not got a uniform, has it?
453
00:22:13,301 --> 00:22:15,101
There's a lot of beige pants.
454
00:22:15,141 --> 00:22:17,541
In't there?
And the Hawaiian Shirts.
455
00:22:17,581 --> 00:22:19,581
You look like a calypso group.
Look at you.
456
00:22:19,621 --> 00:22:21,861
No, it's just a...
457
00:22:21,901 --> 00:22:24,221
happy coincidence, you know,
can't go wrong.
458
00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:27,181
Well, you CAN go wrong,
cos you've all worn the same shit.
459
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:28,981
You look...
460
00:22:29,821 --> 00:22:31,021
Uh...
Mm.
461
00:22:31,061 --> 00:22:33,181
Well, we're flying back again
next half term.
462
00:22:33,221 --> 00:22:35,501
What'll that be?
Your fourth trip abroad this year?
463
00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:38,501
Yeah! I mean...
I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it
464
00:22:38,541 --> 00:22:42,021
if we weren't already taking steps
to reduce our carbon footprint.
465
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:45,221
Oh, we put in a wood burner.
Oh.
466
00:22:45,261 --> 00:22:46,501
Lorraine.
Yeah?
467
00:22:46,541 --> 00:22:48,501
Can I have a word?
Oh, sorry.
468
00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:50,741
If it's about the cake stall,
my hands are tied.
469
00:22:50,781 --> 00:22:52,901
Oh -There's still
a waiting list for helpers.
470
00:22:52,941 --> 00:22:55,461
No, no, no, it's about your Seb.
Erm, so he's been...
471
00:22:55,501 --> 00:22:58,141
He's been saying things about Tyler,
to the other kids and -
472
00:22:58,181 --> 00:23:00,061
Oh, God, Erin. Boys!
What are they like?
473
00:23:00,101 --> 00:23:02,501
All as bad as one another.
Uh...don't know about that.
474
00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:05,701
What are we gonna do, eh?
They're doomed to turn into men!
475
00:23:07,301 --> 00:23:09,861
Katherine,
what's going on with these mojitos?
476
00:23:09,901 --> 00:23:11,701
I don't want yous going home sober.
477
00:23:11,741 --> 00:23:13,221
Coming up.
Listen. Maybe....
478
00:23:13,261 --> 00:23:16,541
Oh, yes, this is my jam! Wooh!
479
00:23:16,581 --> 00:23:18,581
# JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: Rock Your Body
480
00:23:25,261 --> 00:23:27,101
Go and have a look.
Is it a new barbie?
481
00:23:27,141 --> 00:23:28,501
Brand-new.
It's bonnie.
482
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,221
Yeah, have a look a that.
Very nice.
483
00:23:30,261 --> 00:23:32,661
How are you getting on, lad?
I'm good, thanks.All right.
484
00:23:32,701 --> 00:23:34,861
Can I have a go with your tongs?
Yeah, go for it.
485
00:23:34,901 --> 00:23:37,741
Fucking range on them.
You know they're good, don't you?
486
00:23:37,781 --> 00:23:40,581
Just gonna have a go
at one of these sau-sarges.
487
00:23:40,621 --> 00:23:42,541
It's harder than it looks, innit?
488
00:23:42,581 --> 00:23:45,221
They're very thi...
quite thin sau-sarges.
489
00:23:46,061 --> 00:23:47,661
Oh, it's fucking dropped in.
490
00:23:47,701 --> 00:23:51,261
Gone right down there, hasn't it?
491
00:23:51,301 --> 00:23:52,941
Oh, no, it's gone.
492
00:23:52,981 --> 00:23:55,461
Take that off me,
cos honestly I'm just fucking use...
493
00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:58,661
Lads, listen. I'm sorry.
I don't socialise well.
494
00:23:58,701 --> 00:24:01,661
I thought...
I thought I could fucking handle it.
495
00:24:01,701 --> 00:24:03,541
But there's just too much going on.
496
00:24:03,581 --> 00:24:05,341
You're fine, man.
No, it's not fine.
497
00:24:05,381 --> 00:24:08,661
I'm fucking rude and I'm weird.
You're all in this Hawaiian shit.
498
00:24:08,701 --> 00:24:11,141
I don't understand. It's freaking...
You're fine, mate.
499
00:24:11,181 --> 00:24:13,141
Erin?
500
00:24:14,421 --> 00:24:16,701
# BIG COUNTRY: In A Big Country
501
00:24:23,661 --> 00:24:27,101
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.
502
00:24:27,141 --> 00:24:29,101
This is giving me fucking bad jujus.
503
00:24:29,141 --> 00:24:30,981
It's giving me Wrong Turn vibes.
504
00:24:31,021 --> 00:24:34,221
Why would they park a caravan
right up here...
505
00:24:34,261 --> 00:24:36,541
unless they've got
something to hide?
506
00:24:36,581 --> 00:24:38,701
Who's going in, then?
Who's going in?
507
00:24:38,741 --> 00:24:40,581
Who's going in?
Ashley, get gone.
508
00:24:40,621 --> 00:24:42,941
CAROL: Come on,
we want to know what's in there.
509
00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:45,661
Why's it always me first?
I don't take orders from you.
510
00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:48,341
You fucking will.
Carol, tell Ashley to go inside
511
00:24:48,381 --> 00:24:51,141
and make sure no-one's in there.
Go and have a look in there.
512
00:24:51,181 --> 00:24:53,541
What's gonna be in there?
It's not anything scary?
513
00:24:53,581 --> 00:24:56,101
Go on.
I'm right behind you.
514
00:24:56,141 --> 00:24:57,581
Let's go. Come on.
515
00:24:57,621 --> 00:25:00,901
Where do you reckon
the money's hidden?
Can't be too many places.
516
00:25:00,941 --> 00:25:03,101
Look, let's just get in and out.
517
00:25:03,141 --> 00:25:06,021
There's Aloysius there. Look.
Err. It's fucking weird.
518
00:25:06,061 --> 00:25:08,061
Why is this chain
locked to the fridge?
519
00:25:08,101 --> 00:25:10,901
Shh, shh, shh.
Shut the fuck up, lads. Shh.
520
00:25:10,941 --> 00:25:13,101
Oh, wait, guys. What's that?
521
00:25:13,141 --> 00:25:15,501
What is in there
that needs chaining up?
522
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,941
What the fuck?!
523
00:25:18,981 --> 00:25:22,341
Doolan!
Fuck sake, you terrible cunt!
524
00:25:22,381 --> 00:25:24,421
You scared Ashley half to death.
525
00:25:24,461 --> 00:25:26,381
Why the fuck
are you chained to a fridge?
526
00:25:26,421 --> 00:25:29,061
Are you not supposed to be
in Ireland, hiding out?
527
00:25:29,101 --> 00:25:32,861
The McGuigans burst in just as I was
about to leave for the ferry.
528
00:25:32,901 --> 00:25:35,541
I managed to barricade myself
into the jacks pretty good,
529
00:25:35,581 --> 00:25:37,301
so's they couldn't get at me.
530
00:25:37,341 --> 00:25:40,381
Next thing I know, they're taking
the whole caravan with me in it.
531
00:25:40,421 --> 00:25:43,661
Why? What are they gonna do to you?
They want revenge.
532
00:25:43,701 --> 00:25:46,541
They're forcing me to marry
Dervla McGuigan in the morning.
533
00:25:46,581 --> 00:25:49,741
Ah, right. Yeah. Dervla McGuigan.
I've been so scared.
534
00:25:49,781 --> 00:25:52,821
I don't want to have to get married.
I'm too young.
535
00:25:52,861 --> 00:25:56,021
I just get caught up in the whole
romance of it all, you know?
536
00:25:56,061 --> 00:25:58,021
Oh, er. Yeah, no, we HAVE heard.
537
00:25:58,701 --> 00:26:01,421
I'm so relieved
you've come to rescue me.
538
00:26:02,381 --> 00:26:04,701
Ah, right. Man up there, Doolan.
539
00:26:04,741 --> 00:26:06,861
Which one is it?
Him.
540
00:26:06,901 --> 00:26:10,181
The one in the glasses?Yeah.
And terrible shirt.
541
00:26:12,181 --> 00:26:14,741
All right, lads? Seb, hiya.
542
00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:16,901
Can I have a quick word?
What about?
543
00:26:16,941 --> 00:26:18,621
Er, well, listen.
544
00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:21,301
I think you might not be aware
that some of the things
545
00:26:21,341 --> 00:26:23,901
you're saying about Tyler
is making him really sad.
546
00:26:23,941 --> 00:26:25,701
Oh, really?
Yeah.
547
00:26:25,741 --> 00:26:30,661
You know, I don't think you realise
that bringing certain things up
from people's past
548
00:26:30,701 --> 00:26:34,261
can be embarrassing for that person.
What? About him wetting himself?
549
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:36,741
Yeah, but it was a long time ago.
It was in nursery!
550
00:26:36,781 --> 00:26:38,901
I mean, everyone's
had accidents growing up.
551
00:26:38,941 --> 00:26:40,661
It's not my fault, though, is it?
Sorry?
552
00:26:40,701 --> 00:26:44,221
It's not my fault
that HE wet himself and people
call him Little Miss Piss Pants.
553
00:26:44,261 --> 00:26:45,781
Well, I'm not saying that.
554
00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:48,101
But you're the one bringing it up
and telling people.
555
00:26:48,141 --> 00:26:50,101
All I'm doing is
telling the truth, right?
556
00:26:50,141 --> 00:26:53,381
Am I not allowed to tell the truth?
Well, I'm not suggesting that, am I?
557
00:26:53,421 --> 00:26:55,861
Good, cos you can't stop
my right to free speech.
558
00:26:55,901 --> 00:26:59,461
It's a free country.
I can tell whoever I want
that he pissed his pants.
559
00:26:59,501 --> 00:27:02,181
Well, yeah. Yeah, you could but I
don't understand why you'd want to.
560
00:27:02,221 --> 00:27:03,781
Cos it's funny.
It's funny?
561
00:27:03,821 --> 00:27:05,541
Yeah.
Yeah. It's not funny to Tyler.
562
00:27:05,581 --> 00:27:08,501
It is to a lot of other people.
People have a right to know
563
00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:11,501
that he might piss his pants on them
at any moment.
564
00:27:15,021 --> 00:27:16,541
OK.
565
00:27:17,781 --> 00:27:19,461
Oh, Seb!
566
00:27:19,501 --> 00:27:22,181
Oh, no, he's had an accident!
567
00:27:22,221 --> 00:27:24,021
Oh. Er, Lorraine?
568
00:27:24,061 --> 00:27:26,141
Lorraine, Seb -
he's had an accident!
569
00:27:26,181 --> 00:27:27,941
He's peed in his chinos.
I didn't do it.
570
00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:29,821
Are you Seb?
He's peed...
571
00:27:29,861 --> 00:27:32,181
He's pissed his trousers.
Your mum's coming.
572
00:27:32,221 --> 00:27:34,901
Your mum's coming.
# Little Sebby piss pants!
573
00:27:34,941 --> 00:27:36,781
# Little Sebby piss pants!
574
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,861
# Little Sebby piss pants!
Little Sebby piss pants!
575
00:27:38,901 --> 00:27:41,341
Sick!
# One of these days, these boots...
576
00:27:41,381 --> 00:27:44,101
I didn't do it.
# ..are gonna walk all over you #
577
00:27:51,581 --> 00:27:53,661
Oh, bugger.
578
00:27:53,701 --> 00:27:55,701
They make it look so easy
in films, don't they?
579
00:27:55,741 --> 00:27:57,501
I told you.
What would the world be like
580
00:27:57,541 --> 00:28:00,501
if every lock could be picked
by a fucking fork or a nail file?
581
00:28:00,541 --> 00:28:03,381
Should we just put some butter
on your wrist or something?
582
00:28:03,421 --> 00:28:05,461
Fuck sake,
you're the brains of the op, eh?
583
00:28:05,501 --> 00:28:07,861
Is there no-one better could help?
584
00:28:07,901 --> 00:28:10,141
What are they up to?
585
00:28:10,181 --> 00:28:12,141
Nothing. Just...nothing.
586
00:28:14,821 --> 00:28:17,701
TOMMO: I can't see anything.
Oh! Hang on! There's something.
587
00:28:17,741 --> 00:28:19,221
There's something!
What?
588
00:28:19,261 --> 00:28:21,221
CAROL: A safe?
It's here, I've got it.
589
00:28:21,261 --> 00:28:23,301
It's a handle. It's a...
And are you pulling it?
590
00:28:23,341 --> 00:28:25,901
Yep, I'm pulling it.
I'm pulling it.
591
00:28:25,941 --> 00:28:28,901
Ah, come on, Tommo.
Put your shoulder into it, will you?
592
00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:30,861
Do it!
I got it moving a little bit.
593
00:28:30,901 --> 00:28:33,261
Yes!Yes.
Come on, Tommo! Go, man!
594
00:28:33,301 --> 00:28:35,501
It's coming loose! Ah!
595
00:28:35,541 --> 00:28:39,221
Jesus fucking Christ,
what the fuck is the smell?
596
00:28:39,261 --> 00:28:41,781
He's released the toilet tank.
Yeah.
597
00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,941
I never knew there was
such a thing in there.
598
00:28:43,981 --> 00:28:46,021
Jesus Christ.
You don't use the toilet?
599
00:28:46,061 --> 00:28:48,581
Never in the caravan.
That's fucking disgusting.
600
00:28:48,621 --> 00:28:50,061
That's unhygienic.
601
00:28:50,781 --> 00:28:52,821
Oh. Hi, Tommo. You OK?
602
00:28:53,621 --> 00:28:56,661
So, Cardi says Francis
has his cash under the caravan?
603
00:28:56,701 --> 00:29:00,781
Oh, Jesus.
There's no cash under there, Doolan.
604
00:29:00,821 --> 00:29:03,101
What the fuck happened to him?
Oh, Jesus.
605
00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:04,661
Toilet emptied on him.
606
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:06,421
You all right, Tommo?
Mmm.
607
00:29:06,461 --> 00:29:09,501
I'm...sort of processing.
608
00:29:10,421 --> 00:29:13,581
Maybes Francis left money
somewhere else in the caravan.
609
00:29:14,341 --> 00:29:16,181
Yeah, probably. Yeah.
610
00:29:21,061 --> 00:29:22,981
Cardi, what are you
supposed to be doing?
611
00:29:23,021 --> 00:29:24,101
I j-j-just...
612
00:29:24,141 --> 00:29:26,621
Put the fucking crisps down
and look for the money!
613
00:29:26,661 --> 00:29:30,221
All these years of trying
to get my own back on that
tight bastard brother of mine,
614
00:29:30,261 --> 00:29:33,701
and his cash was here somewhere.
You're not getting a cut of it.
615
00:29:33,741 --> 00:29:36,581
What? I fucking deserve a cut
after the shit he put me through.
616
00:29:36,621 --> 00:29:39,341
What are you on about?
You've just been rescued.
617
00:29:39,381 --> 00:29:41,341
You don't get a cut
if you've been rescued.
618
00:29:41,381 --> 00:29:43,821
I don't make the rules.
I just implement them.
619
00:29:43,861 --> 00:29:46,501
There's no money here, anyway.
We've searched every inch.
620
00:29:46,541 --> 00:29:48,461
Aw, shit, I was so sure it was here.
621
00:29:48,501 --> 00:29:52,261
Nah, Francis would never leave it
somewhere where we can easily
just stumble upon it.
622
00:29:52,301 --> 00:29:54,941
We have to go and get the tools
and come back for Doolan.
623
00:29:54,981 --> 00:29:56,781
What?! You can't leave me here.
624
00:29:56,821 --> 00:29:58,821
They're coming for me
in the morning.
625
00:29:58,861 --> 00:30:02,821
They're gonna forcibly marry me.
Please don't leave me!
626
00:30:02,861 --> 00:30:05,901
OK, Doolan. All right, Uncle.
Breath now. Relax.
627
00:30:05,941 --> 00:30:09,021
Don't forget your breathing.
Doolan, will you fucking man up?
628
00:30:09,061 --> 00:30:10,541
Come on.
See you.
629
00:30:10,581 --> 00:30:12,141
Oh, see you, then.
630
00:30:12,181 --> 00:30:14,181
Love you loads.
631
00:30:14,221 --> 00:30:16,101
You're my precious sweet peach.
632
00:30:16,141 --> 00:30:17,821
He's fucking cheered up.
Gum.
633
00:30:17,861 --> 00:30:20,221
You're a badass mum, you know?
You're my Brandy...
634
00:30:20,261 --> 00:30:22,421
Brandy Vermouth.Vermouth.
I can't say it.
635
00:30:22,461 --> 00:30:25,461
Well, you're a badass dad,
Vincent O'Neil.
636
00:30:26,341 --> 00:30:28,141
Flirting.
Mmm-hmm.
637
00:30:29,221 --> 00:30:31,061
You coming in?
638
00:30:35,261 --> 00:30:36,941
Yeah, definitely.
639
00:30:38,821 --> 00:30:41,021
You know what?
640
00:30:41,061 --> 00:30:42,981
It's Ashley.
641
00:30:43,021 --> 00:30:44,461
Course it is.
642
00:30:44,501 --> 00:30:46,901
Go on.
Shit.
643
00:30:46,941 --> 00:30:48,821
What do you want, you?
644
00:30:48,861 --> 00:30:51,541
'We need a tow.
Soon as possible, please.'
645
00:30:51,581 --> 00:30:53,421
Course.
646
00:30:54,861 --> 00:30:57,221
You need to go. OK?
Sorry.
647
00:30:59,141 --> 00:31:00,741
It's OK.
I'm so sorry.
648
00:31:00,781 --> 00:31:02,501
I'll see you tomorrow.
All right.
649
00:31:02,541 --> 00:31:03,861
I fancy you loads.
Night.
650
00:31:03,901 --> 00:31:05,701
Loads and loads.
651
00:31:09,141 --> 00:31:11,661
Fucking... Where are you, then?
652
00:31:18,181 --> 00:31:20,741
ASHLEY: Excuse me.
Can you stay back please, Tommo?
653
00:31:20,781 --> 00:31:22,821
You stink bad. Carol, tell him.
654
00:31:22,861 --> 00:31:24,781
Stay back, you're fucking rancid.
655
00:31:24,821 --> 00:31:26,621
Doolan, can you push a bit harder?
656
00:31:26,661 --> 00:31:29,901
We're after fucking saving you!
657
00:31:31,461 --> 00:31:34,621
Right, Vin's gonna meet us
with Jim and his tractor...
658
00:31:34,661 --> 00:31:37,541
on Steep Lane.
CAROL: Where the fuck is Steep Lane?
659
00:31:37,581 --> 00:31:40,061
Steep lane,
that's fucking two fields away.
660
00:31:40,101 --> 00:31:42,261
This is stupid.
We're gonna get caught.
661
00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:45,781
We're gonna get caught if you don't
stop your fucking griping.
662
00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:48,741
DERVLA: Doolan!
I love you! I want you!
663
00:31:48,781 --> 00:31:51,061
I can't wait until, tomorrow.
Oh, shit.
664
00:31:51,101 --> 00:31:54,661
Dervla, don't.
It's bad luck before the wedding.
665
00:31:54,701 --> 00:31:57,381
I want him to see
how beautiful I look.
666
00:31:57,421 --> 00:31:59,501
I just love him so much.
667
00:32:00,741 --> 00:32:02,261
Wait.
668
00:32:02,301 --> 00:32:04,581
They're taking the caravan!
669
00:32:04,621 --> 00:32:07,901
Fucking bastard!
Leg it!
670
00:32:07,941 --> 00:32:09,861
Oh!
671
00:32:09,901 --> 00:32:12,181
He's trying to escape!
672
00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:13,701
Push! Push!
673
00:32:18,661 --> 00:32:21,221
# DAVID BOWIE: Suffragette City
674
00:32:22,101 --> 00:32:23,941
CAROL: They're shooting at us!
675
00:32:23,981 --> 00:32:26,141
Just get it rolling down the hill!
676
00:32:26,181 --> 00:32:28,261
That's right. Shut up!
Ow!
677
00:32:28,301 --> 00:32:30,781
That's it! That's it. Push!
678
00:32:30,821 --> 00:32:32,821
CARDI: It's moving. Keep moving!
679
00:32:32,861 --> 00:32:34,901
Kill them!
ASHLEY: Push!
680
00:32:34,941 --> 00:32:37,141
Sorry, Uncle!
You're on your own!
681
00:32:37,181 --> 00:32:39,821
Get in! Get in!
682
00:32:41,221 --> 00:32:44,021
Oh, no, no, no, no!
683
00:32:44,061 --> 00:32:46,141
Come on, run!
684
00:32:46,181 --> 00:32:48,021
Run, Doolan! Run, boy!
685
00:32:48,061 --> 00:32:50,981
Hold on there, boy.
Run, Doolan, run! Run!
686
00:32:51,021 --> 00:32:53,821
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
687
00:32:59,541 --> 00:33:01,461
# When you're smiling
688
00:33:01,501 --> 00:33:03,781
# When you're smiling
689
00:33:03,821 --> 00:33:06,781
# The whole world smiles with you
690
00:33:06,821 --> 00:33:09,221
Oh, no, you fuckin' stink!
691
00:33:09,261 --> 00:33:11,541
Eurgh! Fucking eurgh!
692
00:33:11,581 --> 00:33:13,461
Bastards! You!
693
00:33:13,501 --> 00:33:16,101
You fucked us anyway.
694
00:33:16,141 --> 00:33:18,661
Oh, no!
695
00:33:19,781 --> 00:33:21,741
Oh! The golden ticket!
696
00:33:21,781 --> 00:33:25,501
The golden ticket!
I've won 50 grand, lads!
697
00:33:25,541 --> 00:33:28,301
The ticket! The golden ticket!
698
00:33:28,341 --> 00:33:30,421
What the fuck?
699
00:33:30,461 --> 00:33:32,941
Doolan, grab the ticket!
It's worth 50 grand.
700
00:33:32,981 --> 00:33:34,701
Get the ticket!
Get the ticket!
701
00:33:34,741 --> 00:33:36,461
50 grand!
702
00:33:42,701 --> 00:33:46,021
It's the ticket off the crisps!
The golden ticket!
703
00:33:46,061 --> 00:33:48,381
50 grand! Give it here!
Give it to me!
704
00:33:50,781 --> 00:33:52,661
Doolan, grab the fridge door!
705
00:34:05,261 --> 00:34:08,941
I can't believe you've let Tyler
drive that fucking death trap.
706
00:34:08,981 --> 00:34:10,741
F-Fucking death trap?
707
00:34:10,781 --> 00:34:13,541
Hey, it wasn't a death trap
when YOU was his age, was it?
708
00:34:13,581 --> 00:34:15,021
Hey? It was all right then.
709
00:34:15,061 --> 00:34:19,341
Can you just shut up wittering,
you old... Oh, what the fuck?
710
00:34:19,381 --> 00:34:21,501
There's Doolan
holding a fridge door.
711
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,741
Hi, there, Doolan.
712
00:34:27,261 --> 00:34:30,421
Oh, you fucking stink, Tommo. Oh.
713
00:34:31,941 --> 00:34:34,701
What the fuck?
We found the golden ticket, man,
714
00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:36,621
but now the McGuigans have got it.
715
00:34:36,661 --> 00:34:39,381
We couldn't find any hidden money.
We found Doolan.
716
00:34:39,421 --> 00:34:41,261
He got hit in the face
with a fridge door
717
00:34:41,301 --> 00:34:43,741
and now we all stink of old poo!
Gross.
718
00:34:43,781 --> 00:34:46,181
Because Tommo was deliberately
rubbing up against us.
719
00:34:46,221 --> 00:34:49,301
Fucking get it together! We've got
to get the fuck out of here!
720
00:34:55,301 --> 00:34:57,901
All right. Style it out.
Style it out.
721
00:35:01,901 --> 00:35:03,901
We're just on a walk with t'dogs.
722
00:35:05,061 --> 00:35:06,701
It's fuckin ruined.
723
00:35:06,741 --> 00:35:09,181
Well, you know, I mean, Christ.
724
00:35:09,221 --> 00:35:11,181
She's been through the bloody mill,
725
00:35:11,221 --> 00:35:13,421
but that is still
a very good workhorse, that.
726
00:35:16,061 --> 00:35:18,501
I wouldn't say it's ruined.
Do you know what I mean?
727
00:35:18,541 --> 00:35:21,421
I would. You trashed it,
so you won't be getting ten grand.
728
00:35:21,461 --> 00:35:23,581
Bit of gaffer tape.
729
00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:26,301
It never were worth ten grand.
730
00:35:26,341 --> 00:35:29,181
Eh. Shut your hole, you.
Yep.
731
00:35:29,221 --> 00:35:31,341
Very angry, in't he?
Angry old man.
732
00:35:31,381 --> 00:35:33,981
Shall we fuck off?
He's depressed. That's what it is.
733
00:35:34,021 --> 00:35:35,981
Can we leave him?
Trapped rage.
734
00:35:39,581 --> 00:35:42,021
# THE SPENCER DAVIS GROUP:
Gimme Some Lovin'
735
00:35:43,861 --> 00:35:46,701
# Let me in, baby,
I don't know what you got
736
00:35:46,741 --> 00:35:49,661
# But you better take it easy,
this place is hot
737
00:35:49,701 --> 00:35:52,581
# And I'm so glad we made it
738
00:35:53,941 --> 00:35:56,101
# So glad we made it
739
00:35:56,141 --> 00:35:59,181
# You gotta gimme some lovin'
740
00:35:59,221 --> 00:36:00,941
# Gimme, gimme some lovin'
741
00:36:00,981 --> 00:36:04,221
# Gimme some lovin'
# Gimme, gimme some lovin'
742
00:36:04,261 --> 00:36:07,381
# Gimme some lovin'
# Every day... #
743
00:36:08,461 --> 00:36:10,541
You all right, Fran. Are you happy?
744
00:36:10,581 --> 00:36:13,261
You'll have to buy her a new fridge
is all I knows.
745
00:36:13,301 --> 00:36:15,061
You're putting her back
in that shit hole?
746
00:36:15,101 --> 00:36:18,381
That woman is very fond
of her wagon.
747
00:36:18,421 --> 00:36:21,381
Stomp, stomp, Hagrid. Fucking hell.
748
00:36:21,421 --> 00:36:23,901
Hagrid.
Never mind fucking Hagrid.
749
00:36:24,621 --> 00:36:26,341
I reckon we should feel good there.
750
00:36:26,381 --> 00:36:28,341
We've done
a really good thing there.
751
00:36:28,381 --> 00:36:29,861
Fucking hero stuff.
752
00:36:29,901 --> 00:36:32,981
Now, then, come here to me, you.
She's the apple of me eye.
753
00:36:33,021 --> 00:36:35,781
Gorgeous woman, are you happy
you've got your wagon back?
754
00:36:35,821 --> 00:36:37,701
Fucking state it is.
755
00:36:37,741 --> 00:36:41,941
Want an 'and with your bullshit?
No, I don't, and it's not shit!
756
00:36:41,981 --> 00:36:43,821
You all right, Granny?
757
00:36:43,861 --> 00:36:45,981
Sit down, love. OK, Great Gran.
758
00:36:46,021 --> 00:36:49,141
She's got her home back, hasn't she?
Yes, thank you.
759
00:36:49,181 --> 00:36:51,301
Oh, that's nice.
760
00:36:51,341 --> 00:36:54,141
Now...
Wrecking the gaff.
761
00:36:54,181 --> 00:36:56,741
Hey, what's the petrol for,
Great Gran?
762
00:36:57,861 --> 00:36:59,781
Oh...shit.
763
00:36:59,821 --> 00:37:02,901
Oh...
764
00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:08,861
CAROL: After all that!
Fucking hell!
765
00:37:08,901 --> 00:37:10,821
What the fuck?
766
00:37:11,501 --> 00:37:13,701
What the fuck?!
767
00:37:13,741 --> 00:37:16,661
TOMMO: She's only gone and done it!
No! The caravan!
768
00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:19,261
My fucking money! No!
769
00:37:19,301 --> 00:37:21,341
Fuck!
770
00:37:21,381 --> 00:37:22,661
No!
771
00:37:24,421 --> 00:37:27,021
Oh, Christ, he loved that caravan.
772
00:37:27,821 --> 00:37:28,901
Fuck!
773
00:37:28,941 --> 00:37:31,261
I've never seen him
so fuckin' upset.
774
00:37:31,301 --> 00:37:33,421
Well, that's summat at least.
775
00:37:33,461 --> 00:37:35,141
Fuck!
776
00:37:35,181 --> 00:37:37,381
No! No! Fuck!
777
00:37:37,421 --> 00:37:39,701
No!
778
00:37:39,741 --> 00:37:41,981
Fuck!
779
00:37:42,021 --> 00:37:44,061
Fuck!
780
00:37:44,101 --> 00:37:46,061
Aarghh!
781
00:37:51,941 --> 00:37:54,221
It's nice to meet you, Erin.
782
00:37:56,141 --> 00:37:58,221
Yeah, you too.
783
00:37:58,261 --> 00:38:00,421
I've heard a lot about you.
784
00:38:00,461 --> 00:38:02,941
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
785
00:38:03,981 --> 00:38:06,861
Why do you think Vinnie
wanted you to come today?
786
00:38:09,381 --> 00:38:13,941
I guess he wants you to explain
why he's such a monstrous fuck up.
787
00:38:13,981 --> 00:38:17,581
Now, there's a challenge.
788
00:38:18,341 --> 00:38:22,021
Mr Rabbit Man here took my money
for a snow-white bunny rabbit
789
00:38:22,061 --> 00:38:25,101
and on the day of my Lola's
birthday, he says there is problem.
790
00:38:25,141 --> 00:38:26,741
I'll get you a white bunny.
791
00:38:28,421 --> 00:38:29,901
Oh, fucking hell!
792
00:38:29,941 --> 00:38:32,461
What the fuck were you thinking,
driving so recklessly?
793
00:38:32,501 --> 00:38:36,061
Look at the size of this bastard!
Can I have him back now?
794
00:38:36,101 --> 00:38:38,021
You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
795
00:38:38,061 --> 00:38:40,581
No, I do. I have to do it
for me and for Carol.62157
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