All language subtitles for Salvation.Have.You.Said.Your.Prayers.Today.1987.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.GG - YTS.BZ]

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[soft, eerie music]

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Did you know...

that New York City

is the least Christian city
in the United States?

It's a fact.

The United States
Government Census, 1980.

Christians ranked
a distant fourth.

Number three:

Catholics.

Now we can only hope
that these people

who are so close to being saved

will find the true path,
the only path to Heaven

through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now the number two religion
in New York City,

the number two religion
is the Jews.

Those bankers.

There are more Jews
in New York City

than there are in the Holy Land.

And there are more banks
in New York City

than there are anyplace else
in the world.

Now the number one religion,

the number one religion
in New York City is...

atheism.

Atheism.

Worship of the devil.

[sermon playing on TV]

- Sin, sinners.
- Jerome, get away from me.

- Get away from me.
- We're all sinners, right?

- Nobody likes it.
- Get away from me.

I've got things to do.

Come on, you're my wife.

This is a natural behavior here.

Jerome.

Can you believe it?

It's come up again.

The mark of the Beast.

The final days are here, Jerome.

The final days.

These are horrible acts
of satanic rituals,

and they are taking place
right here,

right here in our own backyard,

right here
in our own great nation.

Secular humanism.

They are the worst type of all.

We must be missionaries
to bring back those lost sheep.

We must bring back
those lost sheep.

We must bring back
those lost black sheep.

Bring 'em to me, Reverend.

Burn the devil out of 'em
like fire.

Fire.

- [stove ignites]
- Hallelujah.

There is a real hunger
in our nation's young people,

a hunger that you can't feed
with fast food chains,

with mindless
sex-crazed entertainments,

with, uh, with, uh, um,

fashion groupies worshipping
the rock metal stars.

Rhonda.

Hey, Rhonda, what's this, uh,

uh, this red thing
on the TV, huh?

Since when
have you been interested

in the Reverend's show?

Since you've been sending him
half my paycheck.

It's my allowance, Jerome.

Don't be a smartass, Rhonda,
all right?

Just tell me
what the hell is that thing?

So if you'll please just sit
down and open your checkbooks,

make your checks payable
to the Reverend Edward Randall,

Theological Seminary Fund.

Look at him,
he's jacking off your cash.

My cash!

Everybody's cash.

So he can dress like a faggot.

Jerome, you can't expect him
to walk around in rags.

No one would watch his show.

[pop music]

Lenore, switch back to my show.

I don't mind,
I like watching the Reverend.

[Rhonda]
Praise God.

Yeah, well, I'm sick and tired

of listening
to this crap anymore.

I gotta go to work.

Well, Jerome, maybe I'm
getting really sick and tired

of you saying that every morning
before you go in.

Come on, I mean,
look at this guy.

It's just cheap entertainment.

It's bullshit.

You could put on a better show
than this guy, Rhonda.

Yeah?

Jerome, if I had my own show,

I would just sing the praises
of the Lord.

I'd save so many souls.

And I say we do it
by sending a satellite

to orbit this precious Earth.

I didn't know you liked
my voice, Jerome.

Sure, you got a good voice.

Hey, Jerome.

You think you'd be into
a little pajama party maybe?

We could reach them in...
in Memphis, in Cleveland,

in... in... in Miami.

We could reach them in Libya.

We could reach them
in New York City.

And this is just the beginning.

Glory to God.
Glory to God.

You hear what I'm telling you?

Let's bring Jesus back in.

I think he's sexy.

[Rhonda]
Lenore, that's obscene.

[Lenore laughs]

I bet he would be.

Come on, Jerome, let's bet.

You know, uh, you used to be
pretty obscene yourself,

so I don't know
what you're getting

- so high and mighty about.
- [mug clatters, liquid splashes]

What's the matter with this cup?

I thought you fixed it.

Jerome, by experiencing
the worst in life,

we can then start to appreciate
the salvation...

- [mug shatters]
- Damn it,

god damn it, god damn it!

Every god damn time
I say one and a half.

One and a half lumps of sugar,
Rhonda,

and every fuckin' time
you put in two.

What is it with you?

I'm going to work where I can
get a decent cup of coffee.

You know something,

you are really fuckin' out there
with this shit.

You'll be damned to Hell.

You're going to Hell.

You'll be eternally branded
with the number of the Beast,

666.

The number of damnation.

666.

The number of Hell.

666.

Wonder if Heaven has a number.

[rock music]

[indistinct chatter]

[rock music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

[train whistle blares]

[items clatter]

[tools and machinery whirring]

[telephone ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[heavy machinery whirring]

[indistinct chatter]

[rock music continues]

You're firing me?

I'm afraid I gotta let you go.

You're firing me?

You owe me, you cocksucker!

[punches thudding]

[kick thuds]

[engine revving]

[pop rock music]

[engine humming]

- Hey, man.
- Hey, guy.

- Hey, heavy metal!
- Wish I was that cool.

[teen shrieks mockingly]

You guys got a fuckin' problem?

Yeah, you, white trash!

Why don't you take a bath?

Oh, fuck you, man.

- Fuckin' loser.
- Come on!

[tires screech]

Go back
to your own neighborhood,

you yuppity motherfuckers!

[pop rock music continues]

[dog barking]

[engine humming]

- Hey!
- Whoa!

Hey!

[dog barking]

[dog barking continues]

[can clattering]

Damn it, 'burg!

[dog barking continues]

[birds chirping]

[Edward]
Religious solicitation.

[Jerome belches]

[Jerome] Oh great, you girls
still sitting around on your asses.

Well, look who rolled in.

Hell on wheels.

You shut the fuck up, Lenore.

Fuck you.

[items clatter]

You rod!

If you broke anything,
you're gonna pay.

What the hell you gonna do?

What are you doing home?

[sermon continues on TV]

Have you been drinking again,
Jerome?

I just got fired, Rhonda.

Hallelujah.

Let's bring Jesus back in.

Hallelujah.

[laughs]

Can't believe
you just got fired.

Now what are we gonna do?

We?

Like to see you do somethin'

instead of sittin' around
on your ass

painting your fingernails
all goddamn day

spending my money.

Big deal.

[beer can pops open]

[soft, eerie music]

We'll just have to cut
some corners.

When they brought the...
the insane to Him,

when they brought the, uh,
the misguided to Him,

He said,

"In My name,
you shall cast out the devil."

I'm gonna start by cutting out
your little Reverend there.

We're gonna start taking instead
of giving all the time, Rhonda.

Jerome, seek and ye shall find.

Glory to God.

You hear what I'm telling you?

Glory to God, glory to God.

Let's bring Jesus back in.

Would you get your head
out of the clouds, Rhonda?

I just got fired.

Don't you understand?

The Lord will provide.

[sermon continues]

[soft, eerie music continues]

And so that great old glory,

American dream,

has become
a hideous American nightmare.

It's such a subtle thing.

I mean, you can take a frog

and you can drop him
into a pot of boiling water

and he'll hop out.

[soft martial music]

[sighs]

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[music tape stops]

And so the great,
great American dream...

has become
a hideous American nightmare.

Such a... such an insidious thing.

I mean, you can take a frog

and you can drop him
into a pot of boiling water

and he'll hop out.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Okay.

Now.

[starts tape player]

[soft martial music]

And so that great American dream

has become
a hideous American nightmare.

It's such an insidious thing.

I mean, you can take a frog

and you can drop him
into a pot of boiling water,

and he'll hop out.

[laughs]

But you can take that same frog

and you can drop him
into a pot...

and you can drop him
into a pot of cool water

on the stove

and you can cook him to death.

It happens so slowly.

Oh, God.

[doorbell rings]

[soft, pensive music]

[Lenore]
Hello, hello.

Uh, is anyone home?

[knocking]

[pensive music]

[rain pouring]

[Lenore] Hello, could
someone please help me?

My car's stuck.

It's down the road
and I need to use a phone.

[rain pouring]

- Hello?
- [thunder crashes, rumbles]

[pensive music continues]

[thunder rumbles]

[Lenore]
Hello, please.

[knocking]

[locks clicking]

Hi, um, could I come in?

It's my car, it broke down.

I need to use your phone.

What's wrong with your car?

I don't know, it just stopped.

[pensive music]

[door locks]

Fuck.

What am I gonna do?

[thunder crashes]

[door opens]

Come in.

[Lenore]
Great.

For a minute there, I didn't
think you were gonna let me in.

Would you all like
whole or fat-free?

Oh, it doesn't matter to me.

You know, I know I know you
from somewhere.

What do you mean?

This is gonna sound
really stupid,

but haven't we met
somewhere before?

I think I'd remember.

Excuse me.

Oh, wow, these are so cool.

You know, I know we met.

[kitchen items clattering]

Oh my God.

You're that reverend!

You have that TV show.

That's you, isn't it?

Come on down from there.

I'm right, aren't I?

[Lenore]
You're that TV reverend.

Oh my God.

All right.

Come get your cocoa.

Oh, wow.

[Edward]
Come on down from there.

This would really burn Rhonda up
if she knew I was here.

Who's Rhonda?

She's my sister.

Well, maybe we should
give her a call.

She's not home right now.

Maybe we should, uh,
get a tow truck.

You know, she watches your show
all the time.

It's like she's hypnotized
by you.

Somebody's got to do it.

So where were you headed?

Excuse me.

[Edward]
Where were you going?

I was, um,
going nowhere in particular.

I was just driving around.

Really?

Isn't that marvelous?

[Edward]
What's your husband's name?

[laughs]

You have a boyfriend?

How old are you?

Hm?

I'm 18.

[Edward]
Really?

Did you see anybody bent over
in the bushes out there?

[scoffs]

Any homosexuals, queers?

I always have to run them off
the property.

Why are you asking me
so many questions?

How did you come
to pick my house?

Can I ask you somethin'?

[Edward]
Certainly.

Can I have your autograph?

I mean, you're famous and all
and I'd really like to have it.

What ever for?

Hm?

For me.

[sensual music]

Mm.

What is this, huh?

The hell, you're in disguise,
huh?

- Who are you?
- [Lenore laughs]

[Lenore moaning]

We better take
the rest of this off, eh?

Yes, we better.

Just how stupid
do you think I am, hm?

You think you can play
this game with me, hm?

What are you talking about?

- What are you...
- Get the hell out of my house!

What do you mean?

I mean, get your stuff,

get your wig, get your panties,

and get the hell
out of my house.

Let me go!

God!

You don't listen very good,
do you?

What are you, crazy?

You don't wanna go?

You want me to beat you out,
is that it?

Is that your game, hm?

- Let me...
- Is that it?

- [fabric whips]
- Ouch!

I don't understand
why you're doing this.

Oh, now we understand
each other.

Yeah.

Now you do.

Yes, don't you know
I could be dangerous, hm?

Don't you know that?

Stop it!

Yes.

- Don't you think I have eyes?
- Okay.

Don't you think these hands
want to do things, huh?

- Yes, now we're talkin'.
- I can play like this too.

No.

Yes.

That's it.

- [fabric whips]
- Ouch!

Stop it!

[intense music]

Oh no.

Okay, that's it.

That's it.

No more of this game.

- No!
- No! No!

[Lenore grunts]

[Edward]
No free lunches here.

[Lenore screams]

Please, help me!

Please!

[Lenore shrieking]

Ah, no.

You can't blackmail Jesus.

You can't...

[soft, tense music]

No!

Now you feel the power.

Here I come.

Yes!

No, no!

[Edward shouts, Lenore screams]

Salvation!

[Lenore whimpering]

[Lenore screams, moans]

Have you said
your prayers today?

No!

Oh, yeah!

No, no!

Oh, yeah!

[Lenore screams, whimpers]

[intense rock music]

[intense rock music continues]

[Lenore laughs]

[inaudible screaming]

[Lenore laughs]

[intense rock music continues]

[doorbell rings]

[Lenore]
Who is that?

[Edward]
You tell me.

I don't know.

How am I supposed to know?

[drawer rattling]

You just sit there
and don't make a sound

or you will turn into
a pillar of salt, little girl.

[Lenore scoffs]

[door closes]

Men.

You think he's gonna answer?

Of course he's gonna answer.

- Think I should try?
- Try it again, yes.

All right.

[knocking]

[soft, tense music]

More forceful.

Oh yeah.

[knocking]

[Stanley]
Hello?

Is he comin'?

- [Oliver chuckles]
- See, I told you.

[knocking]

[Stanley]
Hello?

Hello?

Could you open up?

Yes?

[Stanley]
Uh...

Well?

We're your new neighbors
from up the beach, uh,

we wondered...

wanted to know
if you could open up.

[lock clicks]

Hi.

Yeah, we heard
all the commotion and, uh,

thought you were havin'
a little twanky party,

maybe we could join in,
you know?

Okay.

She's upstairs.

You can go on up
and get her now.

- Huh?
- Who?

What are... what are you
talkin' about?

Listen, I am fed up
with this game.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

If there isn't any party,
what's all the noise?

I mean,
what are you doin' in here,

beatin' up the wife, uh,
rapin' a teenager?

Okay.

Do you know how many people
have tried to blackmail me?

And you two are just
ridiculous amateurs,

so why don't you go up there
and get her and call it a day?

Oh, I get it.

He's having a private party.

[laughing]

Yeah, your own little party,
huh?

Go on, go on upstairs
and get her.

Go on, go up there and get her
or I'll drag her down.

Uh, I think...

Oh, Miss?

I think, uh,
we got the wrong address.

Sorry, neighbor.

Miss!

Your friends are here.

You can come down now.

Come on down.

Miss!

[door closes]

[locks clicking]

[pop music]

[shower running]

[energetic rock music]

[Lenore singing]
♪ I'm so tired of talkin' ♪

♪ Too much beat you said ♪

♪ Talk to me in paint by number
pictures in your head ♪

♪ We tell each other stories ♪

♪ Driving through the Keys ♪

♪ The beat that's on
the ambulance ♪

♪ Gonna bring me to my knees ♪

♪ Turn it up now
loud and clear ♪

♪ 'Cause that's the sound
that I wanna hear ♪

♪ Turn it up,
now give me more ♪

♪ 'Cause that's what
I'm dyin' for ♪

♪ The beat,
play the beat ♪

♪ I got to play the beat ♪

♪ You said you'd give me
what I need ♪

♪ I got you oh
now play the beat ♪

♪ Now you're talkin' diamonds ♪

♪ Stretch white limousines ♪

♪ You offer me the oceans ♪

♪ And everything between ♪

♪ You could rip
your heart out ♪

♪ You could beg and plead ♪

♪ But that won't
get ya nowhere ♪

♪ Just give me what I need ♪

♪ Turn it up now
loud and clear ♪

♪ 'Cause that's the sound
that I wanna hear ♪

[engine revving]

[glass shattering]

Dear God.

Where's Lenore?

Where the fuck is she?

[items clattering]

[suspenseful pop music]

Don't do it!
Don't do it!

Breaking and entering!

Don't do it!

[door shatters]

Oh my God.

You little Sandinista.

Wake up, wake up!

[Edward]
The party's over.

Your friends are here.

Come on.

His terrorist tactics
won't work on me.

What's going on around here?

[Jerome chuckles]

What the fuck's goin' on here?

[Edward panting]

What?

What's going on here?

Let he who is without sin...

[punch thuds, Jerome grunts]

Ya cocksucker.

Come on.

Jesus Christ, you're heavy.

[Jerome grunting]

[table shatters]

[inaudible muttering]

[fabric tearing]

[inaudible muttering].

[grunts]

[Edward moaning]

[Jerome grunting]

[Jerome grunting]

[Jerome cheering]

[panting]

[grunts]

[slow rock music]

[Edward]
Oh, God!

God?

God won't fuckin' help you now,
man.

[grunting]

There's no escapin' sin.

Isn't that what you always say,
man?

Sin, sin, sin.

We're all sinners.

We're all sinners, man.

[Edward]
Oh, please.

Please.

There is still time to repent.

Jerome!

Jerome!

[slow rock music continues]

[Jerome giggles]

Come on, come on.

[Jerome laughs]

You can't fuck with
the Almighty.

[Jerome grunting]

Jerome, stop!

[Edward]
What are you doing?

Oh, God, not this!

Stop!

Stop!

No!

[panting]

Oh my God.

[waves crashing]

[Edward]
Please, stop!

I'll do anything!

I don't wanna die.

Die? This is
your fuckin' baptism.

Please!

- Stop!
- [inaudible gasping]

Shut up!

What are you doing?

God damn minister.

[Lenore]
No!

Jerome, what are you doing?

[shrieking shouts]

[Lenore shrieking]

Stop! No!

Get him out.

I'm just trying
to have some fun.

You're ruining everything,
you fuck!

Help me get him up.

You'll kill him!

[Lenore shrieks]

Oh my God.

Is he breathing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

[Lenore shrieks]

[moaning]

Oh my God.

[grunting]

Oh, please.

Oh my God.

Maybe I got
a little carried away.

- I don't know.
- Are you all right?

Hold this.

Do something.

What's the matter with you?

You been born again
or somethin', Lenore?

You fucker!
You fucker!

I hate you!

Praise the Lord!

[Jerome screams]

[waves crashing]

[water splashes]

Hey, Lenore, where you want
to put this piece of shit?

[water running]

Just get him in there
and get his clothes off.

[Jerome]
Ooh, fancy, fancy.

[muttering]

Holy shit.

Man does have taste, doesn't he?

- Are you having fun?
- Yeah.

Well, enough now. Come on.

Ah.

Take it slow, sugar.

[Lenore] I told you
to get his clothes off.

Jerome, would you get in here?

[Jerome]
I'm comin', I'm comin'.

Jesus Christ.

What do you think, Lenore?

Pretty fancy, huh?

Jerome, he's gonna
catch pneumonia.

Would you help me?

You know what I always say,

the only good ministers
are dead ministers.

And what good is he gonna be
to us if he's dead?

I don't give a shit
if he's dead anymore.

I'm tired of this.

- You don't give a shit?
- Mm-mm.

Just... just help me
get his pants off, all right?

No, I'm not gonna help you
take his pants off.

That's where I draw
the friggin' line.

Jesus.

Fuckin' sick.

Man of the cloth should not
be swingin' his dick around

playing with jailbait
like you anyhow.

Jailbait?

Jail... what are you?

Jerome, would you get over here?

Help me get
his fucking pants off.

[Lenore crying]

Get out of the way.

I can't do everything myself!

Stop... stop fucking crying.

Would you fuckin' help me
with this?

Jesus Christ.

[Lenore]
Careful, careful with him.

[water running]

[Jerome grunts]

Be careful, don't drown him now.

- Would you chill the fuck out?
- Just watch his head.

Come on, come on.

Let me turn the water off.

- Come on.
- All right.

[Jerome]
Let's get out of here.

[water bubbling]

The place is a wreck.

[Jerome] Yeah, it looks like you
two had a real good time here, man.

Hey, Lenore, baby,

why don't you get out
of those wet clothes

and hop in bed?

Yeah, right.

So you can hop on me?

Don't get so high and mighty.

You ain't nothing special, girl.

Well, I ain't no cycle slut
either, Jerome.

You'd be wankin' off to me
all the time

if Rhonda
didn't have her eye on you.

I mean, I can't even
take a shower

without you buggin' out on me.

Hell, one Finley's not enough
for you, is it?

Well, the fact of the matter is,

there's not enough of you
for one Finley.

I'm glad you're not a butcher,
Jerome,

because you don't have
enough meat

to take to the market.

Shut up!

Shut the fuck up!

You just shut the f...

fuck up.

[groans]

[panting]

Mm.

[panting continues]

[water splashes]

[panting continues]

[Lenore] He looked like he was
gonna shrivel up and die for sure.

[inaudible chatter]

[inaudible conversation]

[Jerome and Lenore chuckle]

[Jerome] Sometimes
you make me [inaudible].

[Lenore]
Well, look who's talking.

You almost fuckin' drowned him.

[inaudible dialogue]

[Jerome] Just wanted
him to suffer a little bit.

Mm-hm, mm-hm.

[panting continues]

[shades sliding]

[window unlocking]

[window opening]

[thunder rumbling]

[distant dog barking]

Why me, Lord?

[sighs]

[dog barking]

[airplane flying nearby]

[cross thuds, zaps]

[airplane flying nearby]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[panting]

[soft, suspenseful music]

[garage door rattling]

What?

[grunts]

Hey, neighbor.

Remember us?

Oh, thank God.

You guys have gotta help me.

There are these... these
crazy people in my house.

Look, buster.

I just walked a mile
in the sand,

and I'm not doing
a camel commercial.

I want to know,
where is the twanky party?

Yeah, man, there must be plenty
of young, tasty things around

here for a couple
of good-looking guys like us.

No, you've got
the wrong address.

There's no par...

Excuse me.

[Stanley chuckles]

- Please.
- I guess I got in the way.

I gotta get out of here.

Please let me go.

Let me get out of here.

Why are you being so difficult?

You know what I think?

I think he is
one greedy son of a bitch.

You got the wrong address.

There's no party.

Come on, we know
you're goin' on a beer run.

Now, listen, you've gotta
let me out of here.

I wouldn't mess with Oliver,
no way.

Yeah, get tough.

[Edward grunts, screen flaps]

I wanna know
where the twanky party is,

'cause I'm not gonna miss it.

[suspenseful music]

The only thing you missed
is an ugly, ugly rape.

You know,
it's hard for me to imagine

that a prayerful man
like the Reverend here

would commit such a satanic act
of devilry.

But he was possessed
by Satan himself

and he has been baptized.

Hallelujah!

[loud thud]

Like I always say,

forgive and forget.

[lighter clicks]

For the right price.

[Stanley chuckles]

Let's get on
with the negotiations then.

Negotiations.

You can't be serious.

[Stanley chuckles]

Oh, we're serious, Reverend.

We're about as serious
as cancer.

[Jerome]
Stanley.

Darling, buddy,
make yourself cozy.

Now, what we're proposing
is a give and take situation.

Yep, you're gonna give
and we're gonna take.

- [Oliver chuckles]
- Yeah.

All right,
now let's cut the crap.

Would you mind telling me

exactly what it is
that you people want?

Partnership agreement.

No, dollars and cents.

Just give it to me
in dollars and cents,

and I will have my lawyers
take care of it.

We ain't just talkin'
about cash here.

What we're talkin' about
is a priceless piece of talent.

Am I right, guys?

- [Ollie] You said it, Jerome.
- [Stanley] Yeah.

[Stanley]
You said it.

And that talent
just happens to be

my darlin' little wife Rhonda.

Rhonda?

Then who's upstairs?

Never mind who's upstairs.

We ain't talkin' about her.

[Stanley chuckles]

Now, Rhonda, you know,

she could be the next
Shirley MacLaine, right?

Absolutely.

[Jerome]
Not only does she have visions,

she can dance, she can sing.

- She's absolutely gorgeous.
- [Ollie] Yeah.

She's just what you need
for your cohost, right?

Well, I really can't use
a dancer,

but you said that she can sing.

- Like a bird.
- [Stanley] Yeah.

Is she white?

- [Jerome] Yeah.
- Yeah.

Is she American?

- Yes, yeah.
- [Jerome] True blue.

Does she sing gospel?

Has she recorded before?

Has she been
on television before?

Reverend, Reverend,
let me just interrupt here,

Reverend, and say somethin'
about Rhonda.

She's an amazing woman.

She's got plenty of zip,

plenty of pep,

and the two of you would
work together beautifully

on your show.

Well, this sounds like
we can work something out,

so why don't I arrange
a meeting with my lawyers

for tomorrow?

[laughing]

[Jerome]
A meeting for tomorrow?

You think we're fucking stupid?

You ain't gettin' rid of us
that easy, Rev.

We're gonna be stuck to you
like glue, Rev.

[Ollie]
Hold the phone.

Would you look
at this morbid crap?

- [Stanley] Shut that stuff off.
- [Ollie] Oh!

Knock it off, Oliver,
we're trying to do business.

[commotion]

Well that fair line ends here.

[Jerome]
Jesus Christ.

Come on, Stanley,
you fuckin' pussy.

You son of a bitch!

One step and he's dead.

[thud, Edward groans]

[Jerome]
Way to go, Lenore!

All right!

Least someone around here's
got fur on her balls.

[Lenore]
He's bleeding, he cut his head.

[Jerome] So what?
The fuckin' lunatic.

Stanley, help me
get him upstairs.

- He tried to kill me.
- [Jerome] Help her.

- [Jerome] Help her, Stanley.
- She tried to kill me.

[Jerome]
Stanley, now!

Dammit.

The fucking Reverend
won't cooperate.

And I'm workin' with a bunch
of friggin' idiots here.

Oh, wait a minute, Jerome,
you know, we've had...

Shut the god damn hell up,
Ollie.

You don't know
what the god damn shit

I've been through tonight.

Look at my fist, man.

I mean, I almost broke
my god damn hand

'cause of that faggot.

Oh.

[Lenore panting]

Sorry.

- Ow!
- Oh no!

No.

Oh.

Tell me.

Just sit up.

[Edward groans]

I'm givin' him the sweetest
damn deal imaginable, Oliver.

50/50 split.

Rhonda thrown in as his co-host.

What the fuck is his problem?

Lenore.

How did we let this happen?

[soft music]

[punch thuds, Lenore grunts]

[cross thuds, zaps, shatters]

[punk rock music]

Come on, you guys,
what do we do, what do we do?

[Jerome] Stan, go around...
go around the beach here.

- Go around...
- [lightbulb shorts]

Fuck, fuck.

Go around... around the woods.

I'll meet you guys
at the main road.

Come on,
drop that fuckin' thing.

Drop it!

Let's go.

[energetic rock music]

[Edward grunts]

[energetic rock music continues]

[birds chirping]

[puddle splashes]

[soft country music]

[singer] ♪ Well, I’ve had
my share of bad luck ♪

♪ Lost my woman,
lost my job ♪

♪ Even my pickup truck ♪

♪ I got more debts
than an honest man can pay ♪

♪ You can find my name ♪

♪ in the Yellow Pages
under layaway ♪

♪ 'Cause you know
through it all ♪

♪ I’ve learned
to heed the call ♪

♪ 'Cause you know
He's always watchin' ♪

♪ And you just can't make
no dirty deals ♪

♪ When you're talkin'
to the man above ♪

[country music]

♪ 'Cause you can't
blackmail Jesus ♪

♪ Blackmail Jesus ♪

♪ 'Cause He don't
tell no lies ♪

- ♪ You can't blackmail Jesus ♪
- An angel from Heaven.

[radio continues playing]

[Edward grunts]

What happened to you?

[Edward sighs]

I was visited by Satan tonight.

Oh, him.

You know,
he's lurking everywhere.

He's made my compass go astray.

You know, I understand now
why the youth of America

is just absolutely mesmerized

by sex and drugs
and metal music.

Praise to God.

A real Christian woman.

Yes. And I want to save
the youth of America.

I want to fight fire with fire.

And I think we could use
that evil tool of rock and roll.

And I...

You know how many souls
we could save?

Just praise the baby Jesus.
Praise Him.

I never quite thought about it
like that before.

After tonight,
I'd use any weapon.

Ha, you would not believe
what happened to me.

First,
this conniving young harlot

appears on my doorstep
and proceeds to rape me.

No.

Yes.

No.

And then her maniac boyfriend...

husband, I don't know
what he was.

He breaks into my house
and almost kills me.

And then these
two toothless halfwits

try to blackmail me.

Can you believe it?

Oh my God.
Oh my God.

You're the Reverend Randall.

[tires screech]

You are the Reverend Randall.

My husband Jerome
did that to you.

What? My God.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait!

Stay away from me!

I was coming for a meeting
with you.

You're all crazy.

You're trying to kill me.

No, no, they're not crazy,

they just get carried away.

But I know
how to save your show.

You have to trust me.

[birds chirping]

I know how to save
the youth of America.

And I'm going to help you do it.

[soft, ethereal music]

You know, the other day

a young woman came to me

distraught, in despair.

She came to my door lost, alone.

And she said that she had
a question for me.

I didn't recognize her,

but later I realized
that I'd known her family

as we'd both grown up
in very humble circumstances.

She said she had
a question for me,

and I caught myself thinking,

"Oh, she's going
to ask for money.

How much should I give her?"

But she had a question
which surprised me.

She said,

"Reverend,
why is it that nowadays

so few of our young people
find salvation?"

As I said, I was surprised,

and I find myself...

I found myself saying words
that I had known

but that had been lost to me
in this age of economics.

I said,

"Sister,

nowadays very few
of our young people

can stoop so low."

Well, this opened a floodgate,

and we enjoyed
an evening of intercourse

that was as spiritual
and enlightening

as any I have ever experienced.

I want you to welcome her now.

She has a voice as sweet
as Saint Peter's trumpet,

and she has dropped
like an angel onto my doorstep.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Ms. Rhonda Stample.

[majestic music]

[inaudible speaking]

Thank you, everyone,

and thank you, Reverend Randall,

for inviting me to be on

the Reverend Randall
Family Ministry Show.

And I want to invite
each and every one of you

watching right now
to join the family.

Yes, join God's kingdom.

I'm not just inviting
the brothers and sisters,

but all of you.

The poor drug afflicted.

Those of you who have been
forced to sell your flesh.

And those of you
who have been seduced

into secular humanism.

I want you to know

that I feel that you
have been really marvelous.

- [lighter clicks]
- Thank you.

You have done a splendid job
for me here.

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Now I want you
to reach out your hand

and close your eyes.

I have something for you.

I'm closing my eyes?

That's right.

Close 'em.

Just a little token
of my appreciation.

- Huh?
- Rev.

Huh?

It's solid gold, isn't it?

- Yes.
- Isn't it?

And I want you to know
that that comes

from the bottom of my heart.

We don't care who you are
or what you've done.

We just want you to do
what we believe.

For as it says
in John chapter 2, verse 8,

"He that believeth on Him
is not condemned,

but he that believeth not
is condemned already."

And I'm telling you,

there is no middle path
with the Lord.

Praise to God.

Yes, until you are on
the path of righteousness,

you are on the path of doom,

headed for the enemy's camp.

And I'm warning you,

they are a sneaky bunch.

More cash for more gash.

Stanley, don't be so crude.

It just so happens
that this is money

for the hungry, okay?

This is cash
for the hungry gash.

England, England, New Jersey.

Indiana.

England.

That satellite is armed,
I'll tell ya.

Everywhere, everywhere.

Ohio, Ohio, Ohio.

No more... no more postcards.

[pop rock music]

Now what have we got here?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Female!

Here's a contribution, Rev.

How 'bout a pair
of black panties, buddy?

They'll lure you down
that path of eternal damnation

while you're thinking
everything is innocent enough.

[soft, eerie music]

You could be humming along
to a catchy rock tune,

and the next thing you know,

you're singing a satanic anthem.

You could be watching
the evening news,

and the next thing you know
you are imagining your spouse

copulating with goats!

You could be in need
of just a little something

to boost your spirits.

And the next thing you know,

you are shooting heroin.

And once you stray down
that evil path,

it is almost impossible
to turn back.

Bingo!

Fuckin' bingo!

Whoa!

The Rev's color!

[Oliver laughs]

There's gotta be more
in here, man.

Fucking what is this,
the postcard back?

[pop music]

The postcards go on the...

god dammit,
the postcards go on the floor.

You take the envelopes out,

you cut them open
with the scissors.

I take the money out
and I put the cash there

and the checks there, all right?

Now can you handle that?

Well, even I was lured
down that path,

to the point where I was
about to renounce my savior

and join the armies
of the Antichrist.

No one cared about me.

No one tried to lure me
off of that path.

But I would like to help you.

Come on.

Hey, why won't you let us in?

Maybe you should have sent him
a pair of red ones.

That's the Reverend's
favorite color though.

[Stanley chuckles]

That's why we want you
to consider what we're saying.

We are confident, Reverend.

There's a future for you
in politics.

I've always said he has senator
written all over him.

Yes.

I bet you say that
to all the preachers, don't you?

[Edward clears his throat]

But, you know, of course I'll
need a little time to, um,

consider such an important
and enticing offer.

Of course.

We love you
and we're counting on you.

You're the only one
that can bring back prayer

into the schools.

We'll just have to think
about that.

Yes, we will, won't we?

Mm-hm.

You'll be a pillar of support,
won't you?

Mm-hm.

[inaudible whispering]

[soft music]

Well, I want to thank you all
very much for coming,

but right now we've got to run.

Thank you all.

Excuse me.

- Come on, let's go.
- Get away from me.

- What's going on?
- Get away from me.

No!

We got the car today anyway.

- We're supposed to have...
- Remember our timeframe.

- We can fit in there too.
- We're supposed to have a car.

- Jerome.
- What?

We can go in there too,
can't we?

- Rhonda.
- Today is Sunday.

I have the car on Sunday,
you get it on Saturday.

So why don't you just get on her
and ride her home?

Wait a minute, driver.

Driver, stop.

Hold the donations.
What's going on?

Get back there, get Rhonda.

Get these tarts out of my car.

- [slap thuds]
- Who do you think you are?

Don't you fuckin' ever hit me?

- Some kind of rock star?
- Oh yeah?

Yeah!

Get lost.

Come on.

I'm leaving.

Rhonda!

Hey, Reverend, hold on a second.

Do you realize how long it took
to set this whole thing up?

[Edward] Yo, what are
you trying to do, set me up?

We were just trying
to have some fun, Reverend.

You know, if Rhonda finds out
about this,

you're both gonna be out
on your ass in a minute.

♪ Help me, Rhonda,
help, help me, Rhonda ♪

♪ Help me, Rhonda, yeah ♪

♪ Get them out of my car ♪

Oh, are you girls ready
for a religious experience?

Yeah.

And there's nothing wrong
with fun,

it's just that Satan tricks you.

He has evil ways to deceive you,

to lure you and seduce you
into his army.

Well, the Lord has given me
a spiritual command

to care for you,

and I don't want to lose any
member of the family to Satan.

I don't want one single soul
stricken by his cursed weapons.

Glory to God,
brothers and sisters.

I am waging war against Satan,

and I can't do it by myself,

I need your help.

Hey, hey, hey.

You know why men were created?

No, tell us.

No, no, wait,
why were men created?

'Cause dildos can't take out
the trash.

[laughing]

That ain't funny.

That's a pun.

That ain't funny, ha-ha-ha.

That's supposed to be a joke?

- Yeah.
- I'll tell you a joke.

Why were women created?

Why?

Because sheep can't cook.

[laughing]

And that's a joke.

That's a joke, yeah.

All right, ante up.

Come on, deal a hand for Jesus,
Rev.

All right.

You girls want to play a hand?

- No, I don't play.
- Oh, yeah, I do.

I played hands
all across America, man.

[she laughs]

Wait, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Excuse me, girls,
but this is a man's game,

- am I right?
- Come on.

Now play, come on, let's go.

Clear a path, girls.

Let's give 'em some room here.

What is this?

Whoa, whoa.

Lenore,
I can't stand you anymore.

Get the hell out
of my dressing room.

Naughty, naughty, Rhonda.

This means 10 big demerit points
with the big man upstairs.

- Get out!
- No.

- Get out!
- I don't have to.

You don't own
this dressing room.

And I got all my stuff
hanging around here.

- Get out of here!
- No!

I have some pull with him too,
you know?

Edward!

- I knew him first!
- Edward!

- You can't do this.
- Edward!

- I'm not moving.
- Edward!

- I'm not moving from here.
- Edward!

It's not your place.

[laughing, indistinct chatter]

Get that thing out of my face.

- No!
- Cut it out!

All right, learn how to play.

Chill out.

Chill out?

Chill out?

Whoa, Reverend, where'd you
pick up the colloquialisms?

You've been hanging out
with the homeboys?

- Yeah, us!
- The homeboys.

Yeah, you guys
are a bad influence on me.

[laughing, indistinct chatter]

What are you doing?

You idiot animals!

Now, Rhonda, hold it a minute.

[woman barks]

[Edward]
Rhonda, no, wait, wait, wait.

Where are you going?

[door banging]

What is it?
Why are you so upset?

You're becoming as corrupt
as them.

You're being pulled down.

[Edward panting]

I have been possessed by you.

Your whole family
has taken me in.

And now what?

You want it to end?

Yes, we must cast
that demon out.

[overlapping chatter]

Motherfuckers!

Put me down,
put me the fuck down!

What is this, Jerome?

What is this?

Get these scumbags outta here.

- Come on. Get 'em out.
- Hey!

Jerome, you greasy creep.

- Get the fuck out of here.
- You greasy traitor!

I swear to God,

the crosshairs
are gonna follow you

the rest of your life.

I'm fuckin' shittin' my pants.
I'm scared.

We're your best friends, Jerome,
how could you do that to us?

Hey, I don't need
friends like you,

you bunch of fuckups.

Get 'em out of here.

Jerome, I am gonna kill you!

Get the fuck out of here!

Get 'em out!

Lock the fucking gate up.

I'm gonna kill you, you...

[dance music]

You guys kill me, man,

you guys really
do your job, huh?

Hey, what the fuck
are you doin'?

Hey, we're just
following orders.

I give the fucking orders
around here,

so move out, come on.

Hey, hey, hey!

I'm Jerome Stample,

that's my fucking wife
in there, all right?

Jerome Stample?

Jerome Stample, that's right.

Jerome Stample?

That's right.

At least somebody recognizes me.

Jerome Stample.

Here's your divorce papers.

This is a joke, right?

[Jerome grunting,
Lenore screaming]

Hey!

Rhonda!

- Let me go!
- Rhonda!

- Let me go!
- Rhonda!

- Let me go!
- Hey!

Rhonda, you owe me, you bitch!

[unintelligible shouting]

Don't... let go, you motherfucker!

Now, take a look at page four,

article seven, paragraph E,

Revenues from T-Shirt Sales.

Now, uh, Dan,

I think these revenues
should be split 50/50.

[Dan]
What? No way.

We compromised
on the record sales.

We're firm on this point.

You don't seem to remember...

- I have a very good memory.
- Dan.

Let me just explain
something to them.

I designed those t-shirts,

and I feel that something
a little more than a 50/50 split

is in order, don't you agree?

Now, Rhonda,
let's be reasonable here.

Now, we all realize that you
have been a true gift from God.

But we're talking
about money here,

money made for the Lord's work.

So, um, don't you feel
that the Lord

would want us to share equally
in the profits as well?

What equally?

You know, I don't think
I can trust you anymore.

You do things that would make
the Lord shrivel up and die.

[Edward] What, am I
supposed to be ashamed?

Ashamed of what you...
you forced me to do?

I had nowhere to go,

so I had to fight fire
with fire.

I never forced you
to do anything.

I sacrificed my mind
and my body for your honor.

Honor?

What about your honor?

But I suppose you lost that
a long time ago.

Now just a minute,
hold the sermon, Rhonda.

I think your jewelry's choked
off the oxygen to your brain.

[Edward]
I want you to listen to me.

You were blind
to your own family,

and I had to tear
the blinders off your eyes

so you could see them
for what they really are.

[Rhonda]
What they really are?

What about what you really are,

you lying, fornicating,
alcoholic, drunken, perverted...

[Edward's lawyer]
Hold it.

The 50/50 split goes to cover

all the problems
that your family created.

Now just a minute, we're not
handing out a bill here.

We're not interested
in retribution.

But it is my ministry.

And ultimately I am responsible.

You're right,
it is the Lord's work

and it is the Lord's money.

And I think
that all the revenues

from the t-shirt sales

should go to the homeless people
of New York City.

What?

[chuckles]

Rhonda.

I think
this entertainment business,

I think you take it
a little too seriously.

Come on, it's showtime.

- Hm?
- Yes.

Let's go out there
and raise a little hell, huh?

Are you with me or against me?

I'm with you.

All the way.

Every 90 minutes,

a young American
commits suicide.

Every 10 minutes,

an unwed teenaged mother
gives birth to a baby

that will go unbaptized.

But worst of all,

every minute of every day,

some child stops believing
in the almighty God.

Now you have got to pound
the word of the Lord

into their heads.

I don't care how you do it,

I don't care where you do it,

so long as you do it.

You've got to preach
the word of the Lord.

Get Him on your side.

You've got me on your side,

now get the Lord on your side.

But first you've got to stop
blaming the children.

Children are the victims.

Rock and drugs are the symptoms.

Now what, you are asking me,
is the illness?

What is this plague
of disbelief?

What is this plague
that has settled in our land?

Humanism, humanism,
humanism, humanism.

Humanism has perverted
and corrupted

everything that has made
this country great.

Humanism has turned
our children into victims,

victims of lies,

victims of teachers who lie
about the creation of man,

victims of teachers who lie

about the history
of our country,

about the Constitution
of America.

Our children are being lost.

They are falling
into a pit of hell,

and we've got the scare
the devil out of Hell

and the hell out of the devil.

You hear what I'm telling you?

I am right.

Agree with me or not,

I am right.

[thunder crashes]

[hard rock music]

♪ Waging the war when
the light's shining down ♪

♪ from Heaven ♪

♪ Cleanse your soul in the
warriors of Jesus ♪

♪ Fightin', fightin', fightin'
for the right to freedom ♪

♪ The soldiers of the Lord
destroy all evil ♪

♪ All evil ♪

♪ We're gonna burn
down the devil ♪

♪ Destroy all evil ♪

♪ Trapped in a world
with only one life to live ♪

♪ Victory will come
through the guiding light ♪

♪ The final days are here,
my mental soldiers ♪

♪ March in the name
of the Lord ♪

♪ Destroy all evil ♪

♪ All evil ♪

♪ We're gonna burn
down the devil ♪

♪ Destroy all evil ♪

♪ Destroy the evil within ♪

♪ And let the guiding
lights in ♪

♪ Destroy the evil light,
you bastard ♪

[hard rock music]

♪ Spilling the blood
of innocent unborn babies ♪

♪ Sinners beware
for the Lord has no mercy ♪

♪ Glory, glory, glory,
hallelujah ♪

♪ The mark of the devil
is here ♪

♪ Destroy all evil ♪

♪ All evil ♪

♪ We're gonna burn down
the devil ♪

♪ Destroy all evil ♪

♪ All evil ♪

♪ We're gonna fight all evil ♪

♪ Destroy, destroy all evil ♪

♪ Destroy, destroy all evil ♪

♪ We're gonna fight all evil ♪

[dance music]

♪ I was standing by the ocean
when I saw your face ♪

♪ I couldn't look at you ♪

♪ I guess you knew it
but I never realized ♪

♪ That we were through ♪

♪ And now I'm down here all
alone ♪

♪ With every feeling
that I own ♪

♪ You can't take that away ♪

♪ And with every
breath we take ♪

♪ And the illusions we create ♪

♪ Will come to you someday ♪

♪ And I was touched ♪

♪ By the hand of God ♪

♪ Never knew it ♪

♪ But of course I was ♪

♪ I was touched ♪

♪ By the hand of God ♪

♪ I never knew it ♪

♪ But of course I was ♪

♪ 1 never hoped
to do the things ♪

♪ in this world
that I wanted to ♪

♪ Because everything 1 own ♪

♪ It belongs to you ♪

♪ And I never looked
at you in a sexual way ♪

♪ In my life before ♪

♪ But then I’ve never
woken up like this ♪

♪ So desperately before ♪

♪ And I was touched ♪

♪ By the hand of God ♪

♪ Never knew it ♪

♪ But of course I was ♪

♪ Touched ♪

♪ By the hand of God ♪

♪ Never knew it ♪

♪ But of course I was ♪

[dance music continues]

♪ Touched ♪

♪ By the hand of God ♪

♪ I never knew it ♪

♪ But of course I was ♪

♪ I was touched ♪

♪ By the hand of God ♪

♪ I never knew it ♪

♪ But of course I was ♪

[dance music continues]