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1
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:00,580
Hi.
2
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,140
Hey.
3
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,320
I don't really know how to do this.
4
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,160
You give me money, and I blow you in the bathroom.
5
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,320
It's not that complicated.
6
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:20,600
How much?
7
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How much you got on you?
8
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:22,900
Twenty?
9
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,214
Alright, fifty.
10
00:01:28,928 --> 00:01:30,000
A hundred?
11
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:34,927
Two hundred.
12
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Fine.
13
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:40,030
Alright.
14
00:01:41,549 --> 00:01:42,967
Show me the money first.
15
00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:45,271
So I know you're not lying.
16
00:01:46,128 --> 00:01:47,225
Yeah. Of course.
17
00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:53,036
Two hundred.
18
00:02:02,797 --> 00:02:05,078
You little fucking assholes!
19
00:02:05,078 --> 00:02:05,893
Throw me the wallet.
20
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,142
Or what?
21
00:02:11,759 --> 00:02:13,649
Goddamnit.
22
00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:18,867
Better wash your hands after touching that, bro.
23
00:02:18,867 --> 00:02:20,730
I doubt this guy gets any action.
24
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:23,204
Thanks, daddy.
25
00:02:24,674 --> 00:02:25,793
Really?
26
00:02:25,793 --> 00:02:26,741
Let's go.
27
00:02:27,559 --> 00:02:28,059
Later, flamer.
28
00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:35,182
Sorry.
29
00:04:10,982 --> 00:04:14,358
They're coming to get you, Barbara.
30
00:04:16,306 --> 00:04:17,526
(scoffs)
31
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:29,268
(distant laughter)
32
00:04:33,392 --> 00:04:47,138
(creepy laughter)
33
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,589
DANTE!
34
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,223
You don't look so good, Dante.
35
00:05:26,958 --> 00:05:30,809
What's someone like you doing in a place like this?
36
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:31,965
I...
37
00:05:33,562 --> 00:05:36,867
You wish you still looked like them, don't you?
38
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:38,867
Of course you do.
39
00:05:39,821 --> 00:05:42,216
You were a late bloomer...
40
00:05:42,956 --> 00:05:47,930
You didn't come out of your closet until you were nearly 40.
41
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:48,930
Poor boy.
42
00:05:50,998 --> 00:05:56,027
You never got to have any real fun.
43
00:05:57,037 --> 00:05:58,047
Well...
44
00:05:58,741 --> 00:06:03,448
It's your lucky day.
45
00:06:04,058 --> 00:06:10,000
I can make you look just like how you've always wanted.
46
00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:11,046
Young.
47
00:06:11,643 --> 00:06:12,746
Handsome.
48
00:06:12,934 --> 00:06:14,720
Desirable.
49
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:18,447
Irrisistable.
50
00:06:22,053 --> 00:06:23,594
Forever!
51
00:06:25,006 --> 00:06:26,808
How does that sound?
52
00:06:28,641 --> 00:06:32,773
I don't want to just be young again.
53
00:06:33,611 --> 00:06:36,747
I want someone to be with.
54
00:06:38,374 --> 00:06:38,874
(scoffs)
55
00:06:40,284 --> 00:06:43,876
Unfortunately, love is not my expertise.
56
00:06:44,792 --> 00:06:45,708
Besides.
57
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,531
Why settle for a single droplet of water
58
00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:54,323
When you can have the entire ocean?
59
00:06:55,483 --> 00:07:01,239
I'm offering you the very fountain of youth, Dante.
60
00:07:01,927 --> 00:07:03,167
Now...
61
00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:05,817
Are you thirsty or not?
62
00:07:38,968 --> 00:07:40,818
(gulp noise)
63
00:08:03,062 --> 00:08:10,378
(crowd chattering)
64
00:08:20,571 --> 00:08:21,999
(gay gasp)
65
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:42,694
You're like, the hottest guy I've ever seen at the Abbey.
66
00:08:43,459 --> 00:08:44,964
So many trolls.
67
00:08:47,051 --> 00:08:50,891
You're like, the hottest guy I've ever seen, period.
68
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,671
Having fun already, I see?
69
00:08:55,489 --> 00:08:56,151
You good?
70
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,799
Oh, don't worry. He can't see me.
71
00:09:03,266 --> 00:09:08,057
Yes. Sorry, I thought I heard something.
72
00:09:08,057 --> 00:09:09,239
Okay. Mhmm.
73
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:17,115
So, I did forget to mention one tiny little thing.
74
00:09:17,115 --> 00:09:21,764
If you want to stay looking like a twink forever
75
00:09:21,764 --> 00:09:25,127
You're going to have to pay for it.
76
00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:27,127
In blood.
77
00:09:27,594 --> 00:09:30,836
But, only on nights like tonight.
78
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:33,420
When the moon is full
79
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:37,524
and the gays are their most feral.
80
00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:41,853
I even got you your very own dagger.
81
00:09:42,413 --> 00:09:43,557
And don't worry.
82
00:09:44,057 --> 00:09:47,206
I'll clean up the mess.
83
00:09:48,768 --> 00:09:52,628
It'll be like they never even existed.
84
00:09:53,212 --> 00:09:55,511
Pretty easy these days.
85
00:09:57,380 --> 00:10:01,586
One good stab to the heart should do it.
86
00:10:01,586 --> 00:10:04,540
And please don't keep me waiting.
87
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:05,878
I have plans after this.
88
00:10:11,059 --> 00:10:11,829
(scoffs)
89
00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:14,160
Come on, Dante!
90
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,160
He's not even that cute!
91
00:10:21,692 --> 00:10:24,196
You can't ignore me, Dante!
92
00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:26,196
You drank from my chalice.
93
00:10:26,196 --> 00:10:27,750
Remember?
94
00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:31,958
You know what?
95
00:10:31,958 --> 00:10:34,542
I think you need a little taste of what will happen
96
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:36,971
If you don't give me what I want.
97
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,728
What the fuck?
98
00:10:48,199 --> 00:10:50,670
Get off me, you fucking troll!
99
00:10:53,674 --> 00:10:54,458
Oh my god.
100
00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:58,931
(Demon laughing)
101
00:10:59,837 --> 00:11:01,093
I must be hallucinating.
102
00:11:02,416 --> 00:11:03,700
I'm gonna' throw up.
103
00:11:04,527 --> 00:11:06,484
Come on.
104
00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:10,000
You know you want to.
105
00:11:11,402 --> 00:11:12,571
What is that?
106
00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:13,571
No! What are you...
107
00:11:14,071 --> 00:11:15,077
(grunt)
108
00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:46,311
Yoohoo!
109
00:11:46,311 --> 00:11:49,051
See? Back to normal.
110
00:11:50,657 --> 00:11:54,873
Now you get to have all the fun you want.
111
00:11:54,873 --> 00:11:56,619
Just remember.
112
00:11:56,619 --> 00:12:00,956
Every full moon, you spill blood.
113
00:12:01,584 --> 00:12:03,225
Easy, right?
114
00:12:03,225 --> 00:12:05,322
(Demon laughing)
115
00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:07,445
Enjoy.
116
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,843
(door knocking)
117
00:13:14,297 --> 00:13:15,037
Hey.
118
00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:17,921
Demon twink for right now?
119
00:13:18,544 --> 00:13:19,167
Come in.
120
00:13:19,793 --> 00:13:20,419
(scoffs)
121
00:13:32,527 --> 00:13:33,766
Nice place.
122
00:13:34,719 --> 00:13:36,490
Sorry. Forgot to tidy up.
123
00:13:38,255 --> 00:13:40,020
(water bubbling)
124
00:13:41,144 --> 00:13:43,242
I've seen worse.
125
00:13:46,553 --> 00:13:47,722
Take your shirt off.
126
00:14:05,509 --> 00:14:06,404
Oh.
127
00:14:07,727 --> 00:14:08,660
You're watching Nosferatu?
128
00:14:10,357 --> 00:14:11,509
I love Nosferatu.
129
00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:12,635
You do?
130
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,131
It's really old.
131
00:14:15,131 --> 00:14:15,631
So?
132
00:14:16,819 --> 00:14:18,007
Older movies are better.
133
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:18,507
Plus
134
00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:20,588
Count Orlok is kind of sexy.
135
00:14:21,296 --> 00:14:22,472
No, no, no.
136
00:14:22,472 --> 00:14:23,888
Are you fucking with me right now?
137
00:14:24,722 --> 00:14:25,556
No.
138
00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:26,718
Really think about it.
139
00:14:28,037 --> 00:14:29,395
Dracula is kind of a try-hard.
140
00:14:29,395 --> 00:14:30,635
Slicks his hair back
141
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:32,635
He's got all his wives
142
00:14:32,635 --> 00:14:34,109
Does it make him any happier?
143
00:14:34,969 --> 00:14:35,517
No.
144
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,786
He still dies in the end.
145
00:14:40,403 --> 00:14:41,111
But Orlok
146
00:14:42,176 --> 00:14:43,241
He's weird as hell.
147
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:45,309
But he owns it.
148
00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:46,900
That's way sexier to me.
149
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:49,659
I did always like how Orlok carries his own coffin.
150
00:14:49,659 --> 00:14:51,659
Instead of making Renfield do it.
151
00:14:51,659 --> 00:14:52,919
Yeah! See that's what I'm saying!
152
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:54,802
But sexy? I don't know.
153
00:14:56,321 --> 00:14:58,087
I mean, if Orlok is sexy
154
00:14:58,087 --> 00:15:00,087
then would you make out with a Cenobite?
155
00:15:01,645 --> 00:15:03,252
I think that would hurt too much.
156
00:15:03,949 --> 00:15:05,230
Scream for your lives
157
00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:07,872
The Tingler is loose in this theater!
158
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:12,746
So, you got popcorn?
159
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,271
Poppers? Yeah.
160
00:15:15,271 --> 00:15:17,271
No. Popcorn.
161
00:15:18,861 --> 00:15:20,451
Oh. Yeah.
162
00:15:26,957 --> 00:15:27,837
Are you okay?
163
00:15:28,337 --> 00:15:28,837
Yeah.
164
00:15:29,266 --> 00:15:30,868
(crying)
165
00:15:31,141 --> 00:15:31,992
It's just
166
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:37,005
Is it messed up that I own sympathize with the murderers or monsters
167
00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:38,635
and never with any of the victims?
168
00:15:40,777 --> 00:15:42,334
They always just scream
169
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:43,633
and try to kill them
170
00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:47,494
Then, the monster tries to change itself and become normal, but
171
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,451
It never really can.
172
00:15:53,671 --> 00:15:56,308
I have an idea for a monster movie.
173
00:15:56,775 --> 00:15:58,487
Okay, picture this.
174
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:01,630
This monster, it's chased out of town
175
00:16:01,825 --> 00:16:03,825
Pitchforks and everything, right?
176
00:16:04,215 --> 00:16:06,247
and it goes to the forest and meets another monster
177
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,792
and obviously they fight, and whatever
178
00:16:08,792 --> 00:16:09,546
but eventually
179
00:16:10,364 --> 00:16:11,429
They fall in love.
180
00:16:12,689 --> 00:16:17,378
and they you know, survive off the occasional lost hiker or mountain man
181
00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:18,209
(laughing together)
182
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,281
but they never have to worry about what society thinks ever again
183
00:16:22,051 --> 00:16:24,145
so, they live happily ever after.
184
00:16:28,423 --> 00:16:30,831
Sorry. That was really dumb.
185
00:16:30,831 --> 00:16:32,831
No. It's
186
00:16:32,831 --> 00:16:34,889
Really good.
187
00:16:36,317 --> 00:16:37,745
But, maybe instead
188
00:16:37,745 --> 00:16:41,751
They invite a mountain man inside, and he takes his shirt off.
189
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,639
Then we've got a movie.
190
00:16:52,365 --> 00:16:53,680
It's really late.
191
00:16:55,316 --> 00:16:56,873
I should go.
192
00:17:00,613 --> 00:17:01,841
My name is Virg, by the way.
193
00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:03,746
I know you didn't ask.
194
00:17:04,368 --> 00:17:05,107
I just thought you should know.
195
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:07,758
Dante.
196
00:17:09,588 --> 00:17:10,639
My name's Dante.
197
00:17:13,777 --> 00:17:15,201
Would you, um.
198
00:17:16,292 --> 00:17:18,041
Would you want to come back tomorrow?
199
00:17:19,454 --> 00:17:20,283
Sure.
200
00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:22,067
Eight?
201
00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,502
Sure.
202
00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:24,469
See you tomorrow.
203
00:17:25,793 --> 00:17:26,932
See you tomorrow.
204
00:17:40,753 --> 00:17:41,541
How adorable.
205
00:17:41,541 --> 00:17:46,938
Frankenstein wants his little bride.
206
00:17:47,212 --> 00:17:50,565
We all know how that ends, don't we?
207
00:17:51,101 --> 00:17:53,429
The doctor refuses to make the bride.
208
00:17:53,429 --> 00:17:55,807
Doesn't think the monster deserves happiness.
209
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,372
So what? You don't think I deserve happiness?
210
00:17:59,238 --> 00:18:03,688
I gave you eternal happiness!
211
00:18:03,688 --> 00:18:05,688
How ungrateful.
212
00:18:06,078 --> 00:18:08,792
Stop lying to yourself, Dante.
213
00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:13,877
Lying is what got you into this entire situation, remember?
214
00:18:14,445 --> 00:18:15,636
Don't forget
215
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,298
Tonight is the full moon.
216
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,882
A blood moon, to be exact.
217
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,200
You'll get your blood.
218
00:18:22,872 --> 00:18:24,284
I'll have someone over right now.
219
00:18:24,284 --> 00:18:25,953
Absolutely not!
220
00:18:26,304 --> 00:18:28,148
You defied me.
221
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,492
Now it has to be him.
222
00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:34,720
I'll give you one more day.
223
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,155
But, tomorrow
224
00:18:36,155 --> 00:18:40,000
Say your goodbyes to your little boy-toy, or
225
00:18:41,403 --> 00:18:44,611
You can kiss your body goodbye.
226
00:18:44,611 --> 00:18:46,027
Forever.
227
00:18:47,163 --> 00:18:49,662
Choose wisely.
228
00:18:50,594 --> 00:18:52,071
Wait, come back!
229
00:18:53,587 --> 00:18:55,103
(screaming)
230
00:18:57,869 --> 00:18:59,348
Shit.
231
00:19:06,305 --> 00:19:07,925
Come in.
232
00:19:13,924 --> 00:19:15,931
Surprise.
233
00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:18,989
Sorry. It's too much.
234
00:19:20,937 --> 00:19:23,161
No. It's really nice.
235
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:26,076
It's all ready, so have a seat.
236
00:19:26,076 --> 00:19:26,927
Dig in.
237
00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:34,203
That was amazing.
238
00:19:34,203 --> 00:19:36,203
It's been a while since someone's cooked for me like that.
239
00:19:36,203 --> 00:19:38,417
It's been a while since I've cooked for someone.
240
00:19:43,754 --> 00:19:46,474
I was thinking about that horror movie that you came up with.
241
00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:49,431
Why did the monsters get chased out of the town?
242
00:19:49,431 --> 00:19:51,723
They probably didn't look like everybody else.
243
00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:53,275
You know, they probably had
244
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,871
Hairy skin, one eye
245
00:19:56,339 --> 00:19:57,696
Two heads. Whatever.
246
00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:00,321
What if, instead
247
00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:05,601
It was because the monsters were ugly on the inside, and not the outside
248
00:20:05,601 --> 00:20:07,776
and maybe no one actually chased them out of the town
249
00:20:08,387 --> 00:20:09,738
They just left on their own.
250
00:20:09,738 --> 00:20:10,959
Why would they just leave?
251
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,803
Because they just felt like they didn't belong.
252
00:20:12,803 --> 00:20:14,160
They'd rather be alone
253
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,023
Surviving off random hikers
254
00:20:16,023 --> 00:20:18,023
Than be around people who didn't understand them.
255
00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:22,076
Okay, so when they do finally meet the other monster
256
00:20:22,076 --> 00:20:24,076
and they do feel understood
257
00:20:24,576 --> 00:20:26,089
What happens?
258
00:20:26,089 --> 00:20:27,660
I don't know.
259
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,660
I'm still figuring it out.
260
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,255
Would you excuse me for one moment?
261
00:20:52,339 --> 00:20:56,317
(panting)
262
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,638
No...
263
00:21:01,638 --> 00:21:03,638
FUCK!
264
00:21:07,897 --> 00:21:08,572
So.
265
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:12,153
Is the play date almost over?
266
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:16,861
I'm not gonna' do it.
267
00:21:16,861 --> 00:21:18,861
I like him. A lot.
268
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:23,334
You do realize it has been almost three decades
269
00:21:23,334 --> 00:21:26,191
Since I gave you this body?
270
00:21:26,191 --> 00:21:28,483
If I change you back now
271
00:21:28,483 --> 00:21:32,392
You'll basically be on your death bed.
272
00:21:32,976 --> 00:21:36,223
Do you really think he'd want to be with such a
273
00:21:36,223 --> 00:21:41,456
Desperate, deplorable, decaying man
274
00:21:41,456 --> 00:21:43,456
Like you?
275
00:21:43,456 --> 00:21:45,319
It doesn't matter!
276
00:21:45,842 --> 00:21:47,963
He's not the one who deserves to die.
277
00:21:47,963 --> 00:21:50,000
So just do what you have to do.
278
00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:56,562
What a shame such good looks have to go to waste.
279
00:21:56,562 --> 00:22:00,549
This was some of my finest work.
280
00:22:01,272 --> 00:22:02,735
Besides the freckles.
281
00:22:02,735 --> 00:22:04,735
And I guess the eyes too.
282
00:22:06,541 --> 00:22:10,000
You leave me with no choice.
283
00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:16,375
Say goodbye to Dante, Dante.
284
00:22:16,950 --> 00:22:20,563
(screaming)
285
00:22:20,563 --> 00:22:27,705
(screaming and laughing)
286
00:23:03,856 --> 00:23:05,802
Virg?
287
00:23:06,153 --> 00:23:07,878
Is that you?
288
00:23:18,835 --> 00:23:22,843
You look
289
00:23:22,843 --> 00:23:24,843
Like a monster?
290
00:23:27,153 --> 00:23:28,645
No.
291
00:23:30,788 --> 00:23:32,764
Like an angel.
292
00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:55,115
One more movie?17251
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