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As you remember,
we were asking Mrs. Smith

this million dollar
question:

What are the three most
important organs

in the male body?
And she says...

Keep smiling,

the sun might
come out tomorrow,

but I'm here all week.
Good night!

Y'all give it up
one more time

for the brightest comedian
in town,

Mr. Sunshine, everybody,
Mr. Sunshine.

Remember our
drink specials tonight.

It's one dollar off
all top shelf liquor,

and after midnight,
all draft beers are two for one.

And don't forget
that every Tuesday

we support the best
in local comedy, right here,

at the Last Laugh
Comedy Club.

Yeah. Aah...

Hey, buddy, you're performing
tonight, right?

I think you're on.

You okay, buddy?

First time on stage.

Don't worry, you'll be fine.

Yeah, I remember
my first time.

I was really prepared.

I knew the material
inside and out,

completely memorized.

I knew when I wanted
to sit down,

when to take
a sip of water...

how long to pause
between bits, everything.

Didn't matter.

I couldn't say a word,
heh, heh.

Complete silence,
heh-heh-heh...

until they all started
booing and yelling.

Well, hell, I deserved it.

No one
wants to watch some guy

stand up on stage saying
nothing, right?

No matter how hard I tried,

I couldn't remember
one goddamn bit,

just stood there,
like an asshole,

like a real fucking asshole.

Still, there's nothing like
that first time on stage,

you know what I mean?

Hm.

A real fucking asshole.

We gonna play a few songs,

and give everybody a chance
to freshen up their drink,

until the next comedian
is ready to hit the stage.

Uh, be careful there,
buddy, be careful.

Uh, you can go on in,
ain't no cover tonight.

I'm performing.

Oh, okay.

Ah, is that you?
That's me.

Well, I sure hope you're funnier
than you are punctual.

Next time, try to get here
before we close it up, you dig?

There won't be
a next time.

Aw, man.

Loosen up, brother.
Loosen up, man.

Look, I'm Randall.

I own the joint.

Finally got that itch, huh?

Well, listen,

you got seven minutes,
if you can fill it up.

Just get up there and have fun.
You'll be fine.

How do you like
to be introduced?

My name is fine.

I like that. I like that.
That's old school.

Just your name.
Like I said, bro,

just have fun with it.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a very warm welcome

to a brand new face
in local comedy,

Mr. Denny Briggs,
everybody!

Denny Briggs!

I swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help me God.

The truth is, I'm gonna die
up here tonight.

Now, the truth is
the funniest thing in comedy.

It's what we can
all relate to,

our work,
our relationships,

love, lust, jealousy, hate,

family.

It's these truths
that make comedy funny.

So tonight
I'm on trial...

...and you,
you are my jury.

Now, if you laugh
at the things that I say,

well, it means
that I'm telling the truth,

and the harder that you laugh,
the guiltier I become.

You see, I'm on trial
for murder.

And if found guilty
of this crime,

I will take a gun,
put it against my temple,

pull the trigger,
and blow my brains out.

I recently lost my job.

AUDIENCE :
Aw.

Yeah, I was, uh, fired
from a company that I worked at

for over 17 loyal years.

AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Kill the bastards!

Stop heckling!

Yeah, get us
another round.

This guy's
beyond the fringe.

So I went looking
for another job,

something new, something,
uh, different,

but I realized that I lacked
the skills necessary

to improve my situation.

So I did what
any of you would have done,

I lied
on the job application.

And that, ladies and gentlemen

of the jury,
is the God's honest truth.

Says here you have 10 plus
years of restaurant experience?

Yes, sir.
Wow.

Ah, let's see,
Olive Garden, Chili's,

Applebee's, Lone Star,
Macaroni Grill, Fuddruckers

Buca di Beppo,
Joe's Crab Shack,

Cheesecake Factory, boy, oh,
boy, Bob Evans, Texas Roadhouse,

this is a lot
of restaurants.

Yes sir, all the big ones.

Miller's is a...
family restaurant, Denny.

Do you know what that is?
Um...

it's owned by a family.

Your family?

Yeah.

At Miller's, we give
our customers

that, uh, extra attention
you wouldn't normally get

at your typical
chain restaurant.

We get to know
our customers,

ask them, "How's your day?

How are your kids doing?"
Uh...

"What's new at work?"

Et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera.

You understand
what I'm saying?

Yeah, I think so.

Every customer that walks
through that door

is like another member
of the Miller's family.

That's a pretty big family.

I opened this restaurant

with the idea
that great home-cooked meals,

at a reasonable price,
and world-class customer service

would never go out of style.

And I am proud to say
that after 19 years in business,

we have stuck to that
original plan.

Did you know that every meal
we serve

is cooked using a traditional
family recipe

passed down from my great-
great-grandmother?

I didn't know that.
Yeah.

Linda! Linda, get your
hot buns out here!

Who's Linda?

She's my wife.
Oh.

LLOYD:
Linda-- Oh.

Here you go.

Linda, I want you
to tell Mr. Briggs

about our world-famous
sticky buns.

Lloyd Zane Miller, honey,
please, I'm busy.

Have you heard about our world-
famous sticky buns, Denny?

Linda?

Miller's world-famous
sticky buns

are a Miller's family
tradition.

Each and every meal
starts with a fresh basket

of oven-warmed,
cinnamon-flavored sticky buns

for your family to enjoy.

But be careful,
don't fill up

before your home-cooked meal
has arrived.

And when you're finished,
every customer--

Every customer takes home
a sticky bun

to enjoy for a late night snack,
as a reminder

of the Miller's
family restaurant experience.

Can I go?

Yes, thank you, darling.

A pleasure.

Yeah.

Dig in.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Huh?

Now, I, uh, see here
that you mention...

writing as one of your
interests.

What do you enjoy
writing about?

I like comedy.

There's nothing funny about
the restaurant business, Denny.

I wasn't saying that I--

Only kidding.

I'm only kidding.
Actually, I, uh...

enjoy writing, myself.

Can I show you something?
Sure.

You know what this is?

A menu.

This is what I refer to

as the Miller's dining Bible.

Hm?

Take a look at that.
You know who wrote that?

You.
Yep.

I wrote that the day
I opened this restaurant.

I had $100 left
in my pocket.

And next month,
we're celebrating

our 20-year anniversary.

How about that?

But I think it's time
to update this story.

I want you
to take this home.

Read it, memorize it,

a better understanding
of the Miller's experience.

Okay.

I like you, Denny.

And maybe,
maybe if things work out,

you can help me write
what I am, uh, going to call

the New Testament

of Miller's family dining.

Okay.

Have you met this family?

The one that suffered through
generations of hardships,

traveled from the old country
to a new land,

with nothing but hope
in their pockets,

worked their fingers
to the bone,

and now own a successful

and thriving
family-owned business?

It's kinda sickening
isn't it?

My family hates that family.

Maybe you've met my family.

We're the ones
pushing our way

into the restaurant...

...loud, obnoxious,

gorging ourselves
on-on free bread and refills.

Send the meal back
three times:

"We want our next meal
for free."

We're in the wrong line
at the store,

too loud at the movies,
the neighbors

they forgot to tell you about
when you bought the house.

We sit behind you at church.

"Oh, I'm happy to see the family
partaking in the word

of the Lord
this glorious Sunday!"

Are you kidding me?

More like partaking
in the Holy Communion.

Or as my family
likes to call it,

the Lord's breakfast buffet.

Yeah, yeah...

A little bit of bread,

a long pull of wine,
and then back in line.

That's the family motto.

There's no coat of arms
where I come from.

Our sacred family crest
is the image of a woman

working a scratcher

with the family's
very last welfare nickel.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's, uh--
That's the truth.

You know us all too well.

And sometimes,
the truth hurts.

So what period you got next?

I've got math.

Did you do your homework?
Yes, okay?

I did.

I did it last period.
All right, Denny,

you just gotta
get those grades up.

I don't have any more D's,
okay?

I think
they're fine, okay?

All right.
It's not like Mom's--

Well,

Looks like it's time
to take out the trash. Heh.

White trash,
that is.

Oh, that's original.

Can't afford
your own lunches,

or she already eat yours?

Fuck off, asshole.

Nice mouth,
bitch.

Nice training bra, slut.

You're a real fat fuck,
you know that, right?

Shut up.

What was that, fat fuck?

No, seriously,
try losing some weight.

It's disgusting.

Right, Mike?

Yeah.
Like a hundred pounds.

Ah-ah-ah!

Where do you think
you're going, Turtle Man?

Don't call him that!

Sweetheart, I'll call him
whatever I wanna call him...

Turtle Man.

So slow he took
the 10th grade...

twice.

Hey, Aaron, how about this?

The tortoise and the hair.

MIKE: Oh-ho-ho.
Don't ever touch me again.

Oh...I'm really scared now,
you fat fuck.

What are you
gonna do about this?

You touch him again,
and I will kill you.

Really?
MIKE: Do it.

Christ.

I'm bleeding.

Denny, let's go.

You did it now,
you fat bitch!

I called your parents,

and, as usual,
nobody answered.

Listen, Madison,
I know you're having

a tough time
fitting in at school,

you and your brother,

but how can I help

if you're unwilling
to help yourself?

Help myself?

What do you expect me to do,

sit there while your student
of the month makes fun of us?

Name calling.

You were angry

because they were
calling you names.

You can't get into a fight

every time someone calls you
something you don't like.

I've dealt with these
situations before.

I have 1200 students
in this school,

and there are rules in place
for everyone to follow.

There's a mandatory three-day
suspension for fighting.

I need both you

and your parents to sign.
No.

Madison--
No.

Let's go.

Sit down!

Don't worry.

We're not coming back.

So you can take your school

and its 1200 students,
and you can shove 'em

up your fat-fuck ass!

Turtle Man.

♪ If patience
Is a virtue ♪

♪ Then maybe I need more ♪

♪ I never meant
To hurt you ♪

♪ Like a thousand
Times before... ♪

LENNY BRUCE :
All right, sin town,
Marin County.

Two cops, right?
Waiting behind the sign

for a-awaited victim,
out-of-state plate.

Slow to the edge...

And one accident...

No speeders, I'm dying

to get that black flag
up there, baby...

All right, let's
grab that.

There's the guy. Let's
grab him. He's walking!

At Miller's
Family Restaurant,

we're ready to serve you,
just like we've been

serving our own family
for generations.

At Miller's, we're dedicated
to serving you

great home-cooked meals,
at affordable prices,

with world-class
customer service.

Whether you choose our famous
meatloaf and mashed potatoes,

a bowl of our homemade
tomato rice soup,

or one of our
daily specials,

you'll always enjoy
the great taste of home.

Each and every meal
starts with a fresh basket

of oven-warmed,
cinnamon-flavored sticky buns.

And don't forget
a slice of apple pie

topped with vanilla ice cream
for dessert.

Founded by Lloyd Miller,

based on recipes passed down

from his
great-great-grandmother,

Miller's would like
to dedicate its menu

to the people
and communities it serves.

That too.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey, Mads.

Got any good jokes for me?

Um...

No.

No, I... You?

Cheeseburger
walks into a bar.

Bartender says,
"Hey, buddy!

We don't
serve food in here."

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you.

Where were you last week?

Something came up.

What came up?

Actually,
I had to find a new job.

Funny, I forgot the part

where you mentioned
you were looking.

I thought you liked
the warehouse.

I just thought it was time
for a change,

so I'm gonna be a waiter
in a restaurant.

Really?

I heard they
have those there.

Yeah.

What restaurant?

It's a little place.

You wouldn't know it.

I would have said something.
I-I would have told you sooner,

just, it all happened
really quick.

Well, I have some news,

I mean, that is
if you're even interested.

Of course.

We're gonna be a family again,
after all these years.

What do you mean?

I mean,
brother and sister...

a real family.

We are a real family.

Not like other families,
we're not.

Not like this.

You know I love you,
right, Denny?

Of course.

And you love me just the same
as you always have, right?

Madison, what is it?
You're starting to scare me.

I got parole.

I'm getting released
at the end of the month.

I-I'm gonna be on probation,

but I'll be allowed to work
a-and travel some.

Denny,
say something, please.

Sorry, I just--
I wasn't prepared.

It's okay.

It's gonna be all right,
you know?

Just like when we were kids.

I'll make it
better this time.

Whoa, hey. Shaun.

Hey.

Denny!

Hi.

Hi, let me take
a look at you.

I'm sorry.

Oh, no, it doesn't have
to be perfect,

just presentable.
Okay.

Okay?
I'm going to have you

cover all two tops
and help with takeouts.

Uh, have you met Shaun?

And Sarah,
and that's Mandel.

Sarah preps, does short order,
and answers takeouts.

Mandel is our amazing
and talented chef.

And Shaun,
can't forget Shaun,

he cleans, does the dishes,
and closes the kitchen.

Um, what else?

Oh, your passcode

for the register
is "sticky."

That's S-T-I-C-K-Y.

And tonight I'm going
to have you do inventory,

so I can close the books
on Friday.

Okay.
Okay?

Okay.
Go ahead, get going.

Oh, hold on.

God forbid you forget these.

Okay.

Oh.

Sorry.

Denny.

Hey.
Hey.

You're gonna be great.

Just remember,
treat 'em like our family.

Okay. Yep.
Okay.

Hello.

ALL: Hello.
How's everyone doing?

We're starving.

Me too.
I didn't eat breakfast.

That's never
a good idea.

Breakfast is the most

important meal
of the day.

I think so too.

I'm sorry, could we get

some drinks and the menus?

Well, sir you want,
uh, you-- Waters?

Waters are good.
Waters'll be fine.

Waters, great.

So you taking
the day off today?

Excuse me?

It was Monday,
and I thought maybe

you were taking time off
to spend with the family.

I think that's really great.

Dad lost his job.

Sweetheart, don't say that
about your father!

Well, he did.
Oh, I didn't--

I didn't lose it.

I'm just taking
a little time off.

You know, I lost my last job,

and I thought I'd take
some time off too,

but then, it was--

Gotta get back to work--
I didn't

lose my job.

Could we please
just get the menus

and order
some goddamn food!

Dad, you're embarrassing us!
Sweetheart.

This is ridiculous.

I don't need to be

interrogated
by some waiter!

Hi, folks!

What seems to be
the problem?

His waiting style,

it is not very appropriate.

I'm sorry,
it's his first day.

Then maybe you should
first teach him

some good old
family manners.

Absolutely.
We'll talk.

Hey!
How 'bout this,

first off, you've got
the complimentary sticky buns,

I'd love to bring out
a cup of delicious

homemade tomato rice soup, on
the house? How does that sound?

All right.
Beverages coming up!

Okay.

You can only order something
that's six dollars or less.

I was--

Don't beat yourself up.

You said family, and I was,
I was trying to--

You're doing great. Look...

even in a family,
sometimes people are touchy,

and, uh, it happens.
Don't worry about it.

Back on the bicycle.

Okay?
Okay.

Four cups tomato rice soup,

we're gonna comp them.

Should I get the waters?
First?

Get the waters first,
good thinking,

uh, and some lemon,

and maybe a little more ice
in the pitcher.

Okay.

Doing great, Denny.

Back in the kitchen.

Okay.
Yeah.

Come on guys,
we need to get going!

You know what?

Why don't you do the honors?

Okay.

All right, Monday,

what do we got?

I vote
Mandel's meatloaf

and mashed potato Monday.

LLOYD: Too spicy.
MANDEL: I can cut down

on the jalapenos.

Come on, all in favor?

Yeah!
All right.

How about, uh,
chicken pot pie Tuesday?

ALL:
Ah.

I'm gonna put you
to work in the kitchen.

Yeah, how long has he
been here now?

Uh, I don't know, what,
like three weeks?

SHAUN & MANDEL:
Three weeks!

Ha, ha! Come on!

You guys know
what that means?

MANDEL: I sure do.
Don't you go

scaring him away just yet.

What?

Oh, you don't--

You don't really wanna know.

No, I do. I wanna know.

Well, it's
a Miller family tradition

to take the newest member
of our family

out on the town
for some fun

and spirits.
Mm-hm.

That is not
a family tradition.

No, in fact,
it's more of an excuse

for Mandel and Shaun
to get piss-ass drunk.

You know what?
You can call it what you will,

the fact remains, we all still
have to go out and formally,

you know, welcome Denny
to the family. Ha-ha-ha!

I mean,
I don't really drink much.

MANDEL:
That's okay. We do.

I do not want everyone
showin' up

with a hangover tomorrow.

SHAUN & MANDEL:
Yes, Grandpa Miller.

I do have
tomorrow off, though.

Ooh.
You should not have said that.

Come on,
what do you guys say?

Linda...

Mm...
Oh, no.

Sarah?

Come on!
Mm, okay, okay, come on, Linda,

we'll just have a couple.

Famous last words.
Ha-ha-ha.

Come on, Lloyd, wanna get
a drink tonight?

LLOYD:
No. You go ahead.

I am trusting you
to get these kids home

at a reasonable hour.

Grandpa knows best.
He does, he does.

LLOYD:
I'm as young today
as the day I opened this joint.

It's your wisdom we admire.
LLOYD: Yeah,

well wise up to this then,
before you go,

one of you wisenheimers
has to hightail it in

to the women's bathroom.
The toilet's clogged up again.

Come on.
Yes!

You always win!
Bye-bye!

Okay, Wednesdays.

LLOYD:
All right, Wednesdays.

Wisenheimer pie?

ALL:
Wisenheimer pie.

SARAH:
♪ Get drunk ♪

Hey, guys.

MANDEL:
Oh, my God. Hello!

How are ya?

SARAH: Good.
Hi, ladies.

Hello.

MANDEL:
Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Oh, wait, we need
to make a toast!

Excuse me?
Yeah?

Can we get another round?
Okay.

And some more shots, please.
Sure!

SARAH: No!
Oh, no, no, no! I--

No.
No, no.

Yeah, yeah.
MANDEL: We need to make a toast.

Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes.

You guys, all right.

A family that gets drunk
together, sleeps together.

Wait, wait, no.
That's-- Is that right?

This is coming out
of your mouth, no.

SARAH:
Anyway.

So, Denny,
what do you do for fun?

Not much.

Yeah, you don't have

any hobbies or anything?

Yeah, actually,
I collect comedy albums.

That's unique.

What got you into that?

DENNY:
A couple years ago,
I went

to one of those
record exchange stores.

I was looking through
bins of music,

and I came across
this album.

And it was a compilation of all
these different
comedians.

And something told me
to buy it, so I did.

And whenever I was

lonely or,
you know, feeling down,

or just kinda
needed to laugh,

I'd put it on, and it would
instantly make me feel better.

Who's your
favorite comedian?

Lenny Bruce.
SARAH: Who's Lenny Bruce?

Lenny Bruce was
kind of a comedic martyr.

Very controversial.

He died of a drug overdose
years ago.

He was a pretty big influence
for a lot of modern comics.

Have you heard of,
uh, Nick Swardson?

Is he on vinyl albums?

I have no idea,

but he's really--
He's really fucking funny.

DENNY:
I'll have to check him out.

SARAH:
What about you,
do you ever think about

doing stand-up sometime?

Maybe someday.

I think you should do it.

Come on. Let's hear a joke.

I wouldn't do jokes
or one-liners,

n-not that kind of comedy.

SHAUN:
Come on, man.
Lay one on us. Come on!

Come on,
let's hear something.

Um... Okay,

so this cheeseburger--

He's got a night off
from the grill,

so he decides to go to a bar
and have a drink.

and right away, the bartender
just goes, "Hey, buddy!

We don't serve food here."

SARAH:
That's cute.

Oh, I really
don't get that, though.

Seriously, what?

Oh! You know,
I almost forgot,

my parents are dropping off
my little brother

at the restaurant
this weekend.

He won his 40-meter dash
at gym class,

so I'm gonna make him
his favorite meal,

stuffed green peppers,
mashed potatoes, the works.

That is adorable.

Your little brother
Nicholas?

"Nick the Quick" they call him
around the house.

That's what my girlfriend
says about me! Ha, ha!

SARAH:
I bet she does.

Hey?

Have I mentioned a little
something else coming up

called my birthday?
Wow.

I'm turning 50,
I'm proud to say.

DENNY:
Linda, you do not look 50.

Bless his heart.

Are you
doing anything for it?

Anything special planned?

I'm working,

the cost of owning
your own business.

But Lloyd is taking me out
to a movie,

and then we are going home
and having wild, passionate sex.

Jeez.

WAITRESS:
Okay, here we go.

Family that sleeps together,
huh?

Thanks!

WAITRESS:
You're welcome.

And it's
seventeen fifty.

LINDA: Oh, no.
MANDEL: Now...

may we all raise
our glasses.

I'd like to make a toast
to Denny.

Although we may not be
brothers in blood--

Are you sure?
How could you tell?

MANDEL: Please, Shaun.
SHAUN: Oh, shit.

MANDEL:
I'm trying to welcome him
to our family

of cold-weather
restaurant misfits.

May all of your customers
tip heavy,

and all of the heavy
customers

stay out of
the women's bathroom.

SARAH: Amen.
Amen.

LINDA: Salut!
DENNY: Here, here!

LINDA: Oh!

Ahh...

MANDEL:
Whoo!

You.

Give this
to me again.

Who...ate...
the cheeseburger?

Are you sure I can't
give you a ride home?

You know,
I'm thinking maybe, uh,

maybe you shouldn't
be driving.

Oh, no, I'm okay.
Okay.

I live really close.

I usually walk
to work, actually.
Okay.

In fact, you could take
my car if you want.

You know, I'm a pretty big fan
of public transportation.

Really?
Yeah.

Yeah, plus I don't have
my driver's license.

Heh, heh. No.
What?

What? Why?

Oh, I like the bus.

You know,
you'd be surprised,

but there's a lot of
interesting people on the bus.

I bet.
Yeah.

I like your hair.

It's like a bunch of
different shades of brown,

it's like, a little red...
I like it.

Thank you.

Hey, you know,
we're having a party,

a surprise party for Linda
this weekend at my apartment.

I would've told you sooner
but it's just,

we kind of have
a high turnover rate

at the restaurant and...
Well, the week's not over yet.

Oh, okay.
I could be--

Pfft. --gone.
All right.

Well, if you decide to hang
in there, you should come.

It'll be a lot
of fun.

Consider yourself
officially invited.
Okay.

I think that
I will be there.

Good.

You know, you could bring some
of your comedy albums too.

That'd be fun,
don't you think?

You could be,
like, our DJ.

Sir Jokes-a-lot--

--or something funny.

We'll-- We'll work
on the name, but--

Okay.
Heh-heh-heh,
yeah, okay, sure,

I'll bring a few.
Sure.

Cool.
Cool.

Well, I'll see you there.
Okay.

They like you,
you know,

Lloyd and Linda.
You think?

Um, considering you had zero
restaurant experience? Yeah.

Who said that?
You didn't know what dressing

goes on a Caesar salad!
I never had one before.

Well, your secret
is safe.

So what were you doing
before the service industry

came calling, anyway?
Um...

Actually, I drove a forklift
in a warehouse.

That sounds extremely
exciting.

Oh yeah, yeah,
it was a real dream job.

Heh. I bet.
Yeah.

Wait a minute. Okay, so you
were driving a forklift,

but you don't have
a driver's license?

You'd think that after
17 years,

somebody would have
asked, but--

I mean, I was gonna go to NASA
and fly spaceships,

but then, you know,
I got the job at Miller's, so...

Oh, yeah, sure.
Couldn't do that.

Heh, heh.
So why the change?

DENNY:
Actually, I was listening
to one of my Lenny Bruce albums,

and on it
he's doing this bit

that I've heard
a thousand times,

I mean, I could do it
word for word.

And for some reason,
I heard it differently

than any other time
before that.

So I'm at my house,

just...laughing to myself,
and it hit me.

I realized that the reason
it was so different

because what he was saying
was absolutely the truth.

And the truth in itself
is funny.

Heh, heh. And so,
I'm at work the next day,

on my forklift,

and I just start laughing.

I mean, out of
controllaughing, and I couldn't
stop.

I mean, I had tears,
like, running down my face,

and I couldn't see straight,
and I'm crashing into things,

and my coworkers
are running for their lives.

And it hit me,

I hated driving a forklift
for a living.

That's the truth.

You know, and the fact that
it took me 17 years to realize
it

was just...
Heh, it was hysterical.

So you quit.
No, they fired me.

Oh, no!
They brought me in

and-and they looked at
my record,

and they saw that I had
no driving credentials,

so they, uh,
they-they let me go.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.
It's all right.

I don't mean to laugh,
but it's very funny.

After that, I ended up
applying to the restaurant,

and, you know,
getting the job...

It's been good.

I'm learning a lot
of new things.

Well, good. That's the way
life should be.
Yeah.

Have you ever had an experience
that changed your life?

Yeah.
Um...my daughter.

Wow...

You have a daughter.
That's cool.
Yeah.

Her name is Isabella.
She's 6.

She's amazing. She's the reason
I get up every day.

Wow.
Yeah.

I'm really proud of her,
heh.

She's--
Yeah, I've never really

spent much time with kids,
you know,

except when I was one,
but even then...

That's her.
Wow.

Oh, wow,
she's beautiful.

Thank you.

I hope to meet her
sometime.

Oh, you will...at the party.
She's bartending.

Oh, okay.
Good.

No, I'm-I'm--
I'm joking.

Heh!
Heh! Wow.

You are very gullible.

Thank you.

Yeah, I wanted to actually be
a music teacher

before Isabella
was born.

But as life turns out,
you know,

I got pregnant
and had her,

and now I wouldn't really
change it

for anything
in the world.

So do you play any instruments?
Yeah!

I play the piano
and I sing a little too,

but it's just not as good,
heh, heh.

I'm teaching Isabella
to play

and she just-- She loves it.
That's amazing.

Yeah, I don't know
about that, but--

No, it's good for me.
It's--

Music's always kind of been
a way for me to cope

when life's
a little hard.

You probably feel the same
about your comedy records.

Well, I should get going,
I have the babysitter waiting.

Okay.
Um,

it was really nice
talking to you.

Yeah, you too.

I'll see you
tomorrow?

Actually,
I'm taking tomorrow off.

There's someth--
Someone I'm meeting.

Lucky lady, perhaps?
Hah, hah.

My sister.
Oh.

I didn't know
that you had a sister.

Yeah.

Such a man of mystery.
Hah!

Some girls find that
attractive, you know.

Not the ones
riding the bus.

♪ You say that you don't
Love me ♪

♪ You try to push
And shove me ♪

♪ I've got a war
Inside my heart ♪

♪ I've got a pain inside
My head ♪

♪ Some things
Are better left unsaid ♪

DENNY: I swear to
tell the truth,

the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth,

so help me God.

And can you please state
your relationship

to the defendant?
She's my sister.

PROSECUTOR:
And can you please
identify your sister

for us in this courtroom?
She's over there.

Thank you. Let's go back
to the day in question,

February 18th.

I'd like you to walk us through
the details of that day.

Tell us everything
you can remember.

Can you do that for us?
I remember her

waking me up
for school.

Mom and Dad
were sleeping,

so she made me
a bowl of cereal.

PROSECUTOR: And then?
DENNY:She didn't eat.

She thinks that she's too fat
and I'm too skinny.

We went outside
and waited for the bus.

I think school was a better
place than being at home.

Did you get to school?
Yes,

but we were
in different grades,

so we don't have class together,
except for lunch.

And it was during that
lunch period

that your sister
got into the fight.

DENNY:
Yes, but she didn't start it.

PROSECUTOR:
She broke that boy's nose.

I hope so.
Is that when you and your sister

went to the principal's office?
DENNY: Yes.

PROSECUTOR:
Was your sister angry?

She was frustrated.

PROSECUTOR:
Is that when
your sister decided

that the two of you
should skip school?

We weren't just skipping.
We were never coming back.

Where did you go?
We took the city bus,

we went home...

CALISTA:
Don't you give me that look!

Worthless fucking excuses
for children.

That's all we have here.

I swear to fucking God,
we're gonna kill the both of you

if things don't start
to change around here.

You think we want to spend
every minute

worrying about your
fucking problems?

Listen to your mom!

FELIX:
You!

I told you...

we ain't raising

no goddamn sissy fagots
in this household, boy!

It's time you grew up

and started acting
like a man.

PROSECUTOR:
Were your parents angry about
what had happened at school?

Because this had happened
many times before.

They wouldn't listen to us.
They never listened.

Ah, is that when
Madison went to get the gun?

Is that when
Madison went to the back room

to get the gun?

Is that when
Madison left to get the gun?

DENNY: Yes.
FELIX: Look at me when I'm

talking to you!

Goddamn it! Listen to me.

We're gonna make a man
out of you.

No!

LENNY BRUCE : If
what is you have to sleep

eight, 10 hours a day,

that is the truth.

A lie will be
people need no sleep at all.

Truth is what is.

If every politician,

from the beginning,
is crooked,

there is no crooked.

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Is gonna leave me
Yet again ♪

♪ And, oh ♪

♪ I thought I
was a friend ♪

♪ Your love ♪

♪ Is gonna kill me
Yet again ♪

♪ And I'm bleeding out
For you ♪

I brought you a jacket.
Thanks.

So...you can just
leave?

He's gotta finish
processing my paperwork.

♪ That nothing
Means more to me ♪

♪ Than you and
I holding on ♪

♪ To all that we can be ♪

What do you wanna do?

I was thinking we could
go to the park.

Okay.

♪ As I lay myself out
For you ♪

♪ Anything ♪

♪ As I lay myself ♪

♪ All out for you ♪

♪ Anything ♪

♪ To see you
smile again ♪

♪ I wanna see you
Smile again ♪

♪ I wanna see you ♪

So the rent's pretty cheap.

♪ Smile again ♪

I've never met
the landlord.

So if something breaks,
I usually just fix it myself.

Oh, yeah, it's...

It's a lot.
I know.

There's a lot of doubles
in there though.

Usually, if I find one
in good condition,

I just kind of buy it.

What's this?

Oh, that was there
when I moved in.

Come on.

Here's the bathroom.

And, you know...

the rest of the place.

I know it's not a lot.
It's fine.

I sleep on the couch,
so I made the bed up for you.

Okay.
Come on,

I'll show you
where it is.

TV works.

It gets three
channels,

but it works.
Thanks.

Do you want
something to drink?

A glass of water.
Okay.

So I've gotta work
a double tomorrow.

Which means I'll probably
be gone before you get up,

and I'll be getting home
pretty late.

I'll leave a key
and some money

on the table
in the back room there.

And if you want,

I can bring you back some food
from the restaurant.

You know, I'll probably--

♪ And I'll do anything ♪

♪ As I lay myself out
For you ♪

♪ Anything ♪

♪ As I lay myself
All out for you ♪

♪ Anything ♪

♪ To see you
smile again ♪

♪ I wanna see you
Smile again ♪

♪ I wanna
See you smile again ♪

♪ Just to see you
Smile again ♪

Hey, man,
welcome to Miller's.
Hi.

You waiting
for your family, or...?

Nope. It's just me.
Oh, okay.

Hey...

you're not Mandel's brother,
by chance?

Why?
Because I'm black?

No, it's 'cause
you're good-looking.

Heh. It runs in the family.
Yeah, I'll bet.

Hey, Nicholas.
Oh, hey, Sarah.

I heard that you won
a race at your school.

Yep!
Dang! That is awesome!

All right, I'm gonna go
get your brother.
Okay.

Do you want some sticky buns
or some pop while you wait?

Can I get a water instead?
I'm in training.

That is the cutest thing ever.
You got it. I'll be right back.

So you're in training?
Yep, I'm pretty fast.

You think
you're faster than me?

Come on.

I know, I'm a grown up,
and I may not look it,

but I'm a pretty athletic guy.
In your dreams.

You wanna find out?
Find out what?

Who's faster.
You? Race me?

That's what I'm saying.
You're crazy.

Well?
Wait a minute.

In here?
Out there.

Oh, let me see.

Okay, sure,

but you're not
gonna win.

DENNY:
How far is 40 meters?

NICHOLAS:
Uh, no, no...

Oh! To that pole!
DENNY: That pole right there.

Yeah, that one.
MANDEL: Hey, Nick!

Oh, hey, Mandel!
MANDEL: What's going on?

About to find out who
the fastest man in Wisconsin is.

Be careful, I don't want
anyone getting hurt.

What the heck is everybody
doing outside?

We got a restaurant to run
in here.

Denny's racing
Nick.

What? Hah!

That's preposterous!
Heck, I could beat him.

DENNY:
I just heard that.

LLOYD:
Wanna put a little money
on that?

DENNY:
I'll take that bet, Grandpa.

LINDA:
What in God's name
is going on out here?

SARAH:
Your husband and Denny are about
to have heart attacks.

MANDEL: They're racing Nick.
Gonna race with that?

LINDA:
What do you think you're doing,

you're in no shape
to be playing around,

You're going to hurt yourself.
LLOYD: Hush up, woman,

I'm in the best shape
of my life. Don't say it.

DENNY:
Mandel, would you do
the honors?

MANDEL:
Sure.

On your marks...
SARAH: Oh, I can't...

Get set...

What-what's the finish line?
Just run.

Go!
What's the finish line?

Run, grandpa, run!

MANDEL: Go, Nick!

Oh, honey...

DENNY: Aw, man.

SHAUN:
That was awesome!

SARAH: Good job!
MANDEL: Good job.

LLOYD: No, I'm safe, I'm good.

LLOYD:
All right, somebody, somebody,
somebody, somebody...

LINDA:
Hey, good job.

MAN :
Chicago has a rhythm to it,
and a pulse to it,

that you just don't find
in other places.

Come, traveler,
and discover

one of the world's
most fascinating cities.

Chicago is something
you've just

gotta experience
for yourself.

Somebody needs to refill
the salt and pepper shakers!

We know. Honey, please stop
driving us all nuts,

just, you know, relax,
and keep that ice on your leg.

Ow. Nobody told me
where the finish line was.

How am I expected
to win the race

if I don't know
where the finish line is?

I want a rematch.
LINDA: That's not a good idea.

Heh, heh!
I think it's a great idea.

Kitchen's prepped
for tomorrow. We good?

LLOYD:
Did we wipe down
the tables?

SARAH: No, I'll do it, though.
DENNY: I can help.

Yeah, I'll help you
and I'll lock up.

SARAH: Okay.
Hm.

Okay, follow me.

LINDA:
Hey, guys, can you help me
get him in the car?

LLOYD: I'm fine.
Okay.

All right.
SHAUN: Come on, Grandpa.

Don't call me Grandpa.
Hey.

LLOYD: Ow-ow-ow! Boy. Oh, boy.

LINDA:
Come on, big guy,
let's get you home.

You need to heal up

for the restaurant's
anniversary next week.

LLOYD:
Yeah, that's not what you
want me healed up for, woman.

MANDEL: Ooh, damn.

LINDA:
Wow, fantasy thinking, baby...

Would you care for
a late night snack?
Sure.

Mm-mm.
These are good.

That was really nice,
what you did earlier.

Hm?
Letting Nicholas win.

I was actually
trying to beat him.

Sure you were.
Mm...

It seems as if
the beautiful young lady's

calling the nice young man
a fibber.

She most certainly is.

I hope that
we can find some way

for her to give him back
some trust.

Why don't you just
come over here

and give me a big
tomato smoochie.

Smoochie?

Maybe that's enough.

Hey, can I show you something?
Of course.

So...I been working
on some text for the new menu.

I wanna know
what you think.

Does Lloyd know
about this?

No. I was gonna surprise him
at the anniversary.

And I was hoping maybe
if it's good,

he could use
a couple of the ideas.

"At Miller's family restaurant,
you don't have to be related--"

Could you just maybe
read it to yourself, please?

Okay.
Thank you.

I mean,
you're the artist.

This is really nice.

You think so?
Yeah, Lloyd is gonna love this.

When I read the menu
for the first time--

The fact that his grandmother
passed all those recipes down--

The idea
of family traditions--

I just,
I think it's really great.

And what about your family?
Oh, my parents--

They died a long time ago.
Oh...

I'm sorry, I didn't know.
You mentioned a sister?

Yeah. She's, um--

Let's just say
we didn't really have

the most traditional
family upbringing.

Well, I mean,
who does?

I mean, I've been raising
Isabella on my own

from the very beginning,
and it's definitely challenging.

But I mean,
like, she's the best thing

that ever happened to me.

I do wonder sometimes,
though,

what my life
would have been like

if I didn't have her
so young.

I just, I think
I missed out on a lot.

I kind of think I would've
been an amazing music teacher.

Well, you probably are with her.
Awe, thank you.

So what about her dad?

Oh. Uh...
Heh, heh!

That was a big mistake.

Uh, he is way out
of the picture,

which is a good thing.

I mean, I think
that it's really important

for children
to have a father,

but it just didn't
work out that way.

So then,
what about a boyfriend?

I feel like she's a little young
to be dating, but...

I meant you.

Uh, no.

I don't really have time
to date.

Time is what I have.
Yeah?

Yeah,
plenty of time.

It's like I could probably
open up a clock shop.

You know, you really are funny.

You should incorporate
all of that,

that whole bit, into your act
if you ever go on stage.

There's actually--
There's this place in town

that does
an open mic, so...

Yeah, we'll see.
I'm just saying some--

Some girls like a guy
that takes a chance.

I'm gonna tell you
something,

but you have to promise
not to say anything.

All right.

Pinky promise.
I promise.

Okay.

The story on the menu...

It's fake.

There's no
great grandmother

with a traditional
family recipe.

Lloyd comes from
a broken family,

and for whatever reason,

he stopped talking
to his family years ago.

He met Linda
and they got married,

but then she couldn't
have kids,

so they opened
the restaurant

and they've always
just kind of

made their employees
feel like family,

which is why I love it
so much.

I don't know. I feel like
the story on the menu

is probably something Lloyd
wished he had.

You know, when you carry
a lie like that

around with you long enough,

you start to believe
it's the truth.

But don't tell anyone
I told you.
No.

I didn't mean to kill the mood.
No, it's fine.

Give me a smile then.

That's pathetic.

Give me a better one or this is
going right in your face.

Weak.

Holy shit!

Oh man, those things
are sticky.

Just don't.
This one's real sticky.

♪ What to do with all my rage ♪

♪ Since I quit systematically
Poisoning myself ♪

Hi.
Hi.

What can I get
for you?

Um, I'm here
for the comedy night,

to perform.
That's every Tuesday at nine.

Hang on a second.

♪ Let it all out
While you watch painfully ♪

Hey.

♪ As I blend in
With all the urban crazies ♪

Hi, I'm Becky.
I bartend.

Denny.

Go ahead and write your name
right here

and please print
so it's legible.

Looks like
you're going on at 11.

Best to be early though,

so we know
you're gonna perform.

A lot of people
chicken out last minute.

So what kind of comedy
do you do?

Looks like we'll find out.
First time?

Well, this is a great place
to get on stage and learn.

Do you drink?
No, not really, no.

Good. A lot of first timers
get drunk

and they just make an ass
of themselves.

Just get up there
and do your thing.

Once you get the first laugh,
everything'll feel much easier.

Wait for the laugh.
Always wait for the laugh.

Mads, I'm home.

Hey, I brought some food
if you're hungry.

Mads?

Don't just stand there
like a fucking asshole.

Say something!

I told you he'd never
amount to anything.

He's just like his sister,
good for nothing,

pain in the ass
waste of time.

Hey!
We're all waiting.

Come on son.
Make us laugh.

Hah! Say something funny.

MIKE:
Looks like Turtle Man's
got a bad case of stage fright.

What a total loser.
Right, Mike?

Let's hear a joke,
Turtle Man.

Or is it you that's the joke?

FELIX:
I told you
we ain't raising

no goddamn sissies
around here.

You're nothing but
a scared little boy.

A coward. Too afraid
to stick up for himself.

MADISON:
Hey, wake up.
Come on, wake up.

What?
Oh. Jesus Christ!

I wanted to let you know
I was back. Are you okay?

Yeah I was just--

Oh, my God.
What happened?

Heh! It's nothing.
I slipped and fell. That's--

I'm just not used
to being outside. I'm fine.

What time is it?
Late.

I brought you back some food.
Thanks.

Where were you?

Just seeing what I've been
missing, you know?

Hey, will you come out with me
for a bit?

Come out with you?
Where?

I don't know.
It doesn't matter. Just out.

Madison, it's late.
I gotta work in the morning.

Just for
a little while.

There's something
we need to talk about.

Can't we just
talk about it here?

Welcome to Friends.

We're out of the clam chowder,
turkey breast dinner,

blackened chicken sandwich.

Forget about the Cajun pasta
or the fish and chips.

And I'm not even sure why
key lime pie is on that menu.

I've never seen it.

So, what can I get you to drink?
I'm afraid to ask.

I'll have a coffee, black.
Same.

See, that's no way
to greet a table.

I mean, especially if
you're hoping for chances

of a good tip.

Probably a shitty place
to work.

Then he fits in well.

WAITER:
Know what you want?

You heard the one
about the restaurant

that promotes safe sex?
Huh?

MADISON:
They write the bill on a condom,

that way you can wine
and dine your date

and stick her with the bill.

That's great, Seinfeld.
What do you guys want?

I'm good with coffee.
I'm okay.

Suit yourselves.

So, what did you want
to talk about?

I've decided we're moving
to Chicago.

Why?

Why? I can think
about a hundred reasons why.

Chicago?

Yeah, I've been
thinking about it.

There's no reason
for us to stay here.

We'll get a fresh start.

Chicago's within
my parole limits,

and it's a great city
with a lot of opportunities.

Maybe you haven't
had enough time

to really think this through,
Madison.

I've had 20 years
to think it through, Denny.

What exactly do you
expect me to do here?

Go back and finish
high school?

Catch up with some
old friends?

There's nothing for me,
for us, here

except trouble
and bad memories.

I can't just leave, okay?
I've got responsibilities.

Responsibilities?

More important than me?

Of course not.

Just...

Okay, what are we gonna do
to support ourselves?

How are we gonna
make a living?

MADISON:
I'm a perfectly capable person.

Where did you
get that?

Denny, you are the only thing
in this world

that matters to me.

And we can walk out that door,
and climb on a bus, and go.

There's nothing
keeping us here.

Nothing.
My job.

There's a million jobs
waiting tables in Chicago.

But I like this one.

You'll get over it.

I don't know.

Have you ever
even left this city?

What do you mean?

I mean, have you ever left?

Traveled? Seen what else
is out there?

I'm not gonna leave you.
That's just it.

We don't have to worry
about that anymore.

It's really important to me,
Denny, that we leave this place.

Now.

I don't know.

Why are you arguing with me?

I've made up my mind,
and we're moving.

That's final!
Just keep your voice down, okay?

Just-- I just need some time,
that's all.

How much time?

Get you anything else?

Some dessert?
Some anger management classes?

Ah, that's funny.

Get it?
Anger management classes?

Almost as funny as the tip
I'm about to give you.

Fuck off.

There's some people that I work
with that I want you to meet.

I'm not interested
in making new friends.

But they're really good people,
Mads.

They've had a very positive
impact on me,

and I just-- I think--

Since when do you do
the thinking for us?

What the hell is going on
around here?

I've made up my mind.
We are going to Chicago.

So put your final notice in
at work.

♪ In the morning ♪

♪ With the sun ♪

♪ I'm on the job ♪

One ham and cheese skillet

for the new employee
of the month.

What?

It's not an actual award
we do or anything,

but if there was one,
you're my man.

Thanks, Mandel.
I'm not really hungry right now.

Thank you.

I've watched you mope around
this place all morning.

Is everything okay?

Long night, that's all.

Take it from me,

there's no better cure
for a case of the blues

than to enjoy a savory dish
prepared just to your liking.

Okay.

That's really good.

Food is why I became a chef,
which I guess seems obvious.

Deeper than that,
though,

is my enjoyment of food.

Sharing that enjoyment
with others by becoming a chef,

it's what I was meant to do.

That's a big bite.

Mm-hmm.
That's delicious.

It's my little stamp,

or should I say
my food stamp,

on this world.

Bon appétit.

Thank you.

♪ Yeah, I won't stop ♪

♪ I do it good ♪

So, um, what are you
doing tonight?

I may just
continue eating.

Um, there's something--
Well, someplace--

That I'd like to show you,
if your interested.

Sure.

Yeah.

While we're out,

there's something I wanted
to talk about with you too,

if that's cool?

Yeah, that's cool.

Okay.

Um, I'll come get you?

Sure.

Cool.

I'm excited
to see your place.

Hey.

Hey.

I was kind of hoping
to go up.

It's a disaster.

Oh, that's okay.
I don't care.

Which one's yours?

It's the second floor.

It's the penthouse,
top of the elevator.

Well, maybe we can look at it
when we get back.

Okay.

Where are we headed?

Oh, that is a surprise.

But you will need to put
your seat belt on,

because I'm a really
crazy driver.

I'm sorry.
What are we--?

You've got to be quiet.

Okay, but what are we
doing here?

Breaking in.

What?
Shh.

Look, we're not stealing
anything, so calm down.

I'm calm.

Good, then don't worry.

Look, I just don't really
like this place, okay?

That's all.

Did you go to
high school here too?

Yeah, I did, and I don't have
very fond memories of it.

Well, good.

Then tonight
will be your first.

Hey, where did you
get a key for the...?

Oh, from a regular
at the restaurant.

So this is the music
rehearsal wing.

This is where I first learned
how to play the piano.

Here?

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Hey, um, what if we
get caught?

I think that's a risk
I'm willing to take.

You are gonna help me
play a song.

I can't-- I don't--

Sarah, I don't know how
to play a...

I'm gonna teach you.

Okay.

Why don't you have a seat.

All right.

Okay.

So you are gonna play
the rhythm.

What's the rhythm?
Well, technically,

it is a pattern recurrence
of a beat.

Emotionally, it's the heartbeat
of the song.

Okay.

Okay.

So don't kill it.

Okay.

Okay, so you're gonna play
these two notes.

Think you can handle it?

I'll try.
Okay.

Not to kill it.

See?

You're a natural.

Okay, keep that going.

And then I'm gonna play
the melody.

Okay.

♪ Just 18 ♪

♪ Baby chair ♪

♪ You thought that things
Would be so different ♪

♪ Those high school years ♪

♪ Have passed you by ♪

♪ You're not the girl
Who's in the picture ♪

♪ Twenty-five ♪

♪ Barroom dive ♪

♪ It's hard to make
An honest living ♪

♪ You're still young ♪

♪ But he's all gone ♪

♪ You're not the girl
Who's in the picture ♪

♪ Honeymoon's come and gone ♪

♪ Your pain lingers on ♪

♪ Let the water fall ♪

♪ A million miles
From you ♪

♪ Great Niagara ♪

♪ Thirty-five ♪

♪ Middle-aged ♪

♪ You're making dinner
In the kitchen ♪

♪ You laugh a lot ♪

♪ 'Cause it's okay ♪

♪ You're not the girl
Who's in the picture ♪

♪ You're wiser now ♪

♪ You sleep at night ♪

♪ Now that all has been
Forgiven ♪

♪ You fix your hair ♪

♪ Smile to yourself ♪

♪ Just like the girl
Who's in the picture ♪

♪ Honeymoon's come and gone ♪

♪ But your pain lingers on ♪

♪ Let the water fall
A million miles from you ♪

♪ Great Niagara ♪

Wow.

Wow, that's-- Oh--

Did you write that?

I did.
Wow.

I like it.

Thank you.

What inspired the song?

Well, um, when I was
a little girl

my parents took me
to Niagara Falls,

and I just thought that
the Falls were so magical.

And they were so beautiful.

And I felt like
a fairy princess.

And I just-- I just always
told myself

that one day when--

If I get married,

that that is where
I would have my honeymoon.

But, anyway,

here I am,
and still no storybook ending.

Yeah, but every storybook
has its conflict.

Maybe your ending
just isn't written yet.

So, um, what did you
want to tell me?

What?

What is it?

I thought I saw somebody.
Seriously?

DENNY:
No, it's-- It's fine.

Well, you know what?

It's better to be safe
than sorry.

Let's go, we can go.

Okay.

Hi.

You must be Isabella.

I am, and who might you be?

I'm Denny. I'm a friend
of your mom's.

Mom, the comedian's here!

SARAH:
Great, sweetie,
will you let him in?

Come on in.
Okay.

♪ ...is believin' ♪

♪ Breaking down that look... ♪

These are cool drawings.

Thank you.
I made them in art class.

Oh, wow.

I know I'm a couple
minutes early,

but I thought I'd take the time
to set up the record player.

Where should I--?
Oh, over here.

And what's a record player?

It's a...it's a mechanical
device

that plays mu--

Well, it plays these.

It plays these records.

But think about them as, like,
really big CDs.

But these ones
are all very funny.

ISABELLA:
Are you going to make me laugh?

DENNY: Me?
I see the two of you have met.

Hey.
Yup.

He taught me all about
a record player.

Did he?

Sweetie, will you go
do Mommy one last favor

and will you please go tidy up
the bathroom a little bit?

Okay.
Thank you so much.

Wow, she's a cutie.

Yeah, she really is.

You look great.
Thank you.

Since you're here early,

do you actually mind helping me
finish decorating?

Just I don't know
where to put this.

Yeah, sure.

Thank you.
Of course.

SARAH:
I think Linda is gonna be
so surprised.

Yeah, I think she will be too.

Hey, I invited my sister.

I don't think she's gonna come,
but I hope that's okay.

No, of course it's okay.
The more the merrier.

I'm actually really excited
to meet her.

I bet you she has a ton
of funny stories

about the two of you guys
growing up.

Isn't she gonna wonder why
she's stopping by your house?

No, Lloyd told her that
I accidentally took home

the register key, and they have
to stop by and pick it up.

Ah.
You guys remember that time

I forgot to close
the back door?

The next morning, all those cats
were in the restaurant.

MANDEL: Yes.

I'm allergic to cats.

SHAUN: Where's Isabella?
Oh.

She fell asleep
a little bit ago.

Okay, everybody hide
and be quiet.

Oh, Denny, will you get the--

Who is it?

LLOYD:
Lloyd! If you're not decent,

slip the key under the door.
SARAH: No, wait just a second.

Oh, well, don't you two
look nice.

Come on in.
LINDA: No, honey--

You know, we can only stay
for a second.

We're going to a movie,
and we got to catch it

in about 15 minutes.

Oh, my God!
DENNY: Happy birthday.

This is so exciting.
Thank you.

Mwah.
Thank you, guys.

I got you.

♪ Remember times
You used to be ♪

♪ When come hither
Man come to me ♪

♪ Now you assume
animosity ♪

♪ From a kiss
on the cheek ♪

♪ It's those moments
That leave you snowed ♪

♪ You're given silver
But you want gold ♪

♪ But nothing
That you wrote ♪

♪ Could be that
precious ♪

♪ I tried so hard
To tell you... ♪

So I have something
to share with everyone.

I've decided I'm going
to try my own stand-up

at a comedy club.

That's so great.

When?

Tuesday night.

There's an open mic.

And I was hoping that you guys
could all make it.

That's the restaurant's
anniversary.

And I already
thought about you, Lloyd.

I don't go on until very late,
so anybody who's interested,

we can all just go over together
after we close.

I will definitely
be there.

I'm game.
Me too, man.

LINDA:
We'd love to go.

It'll be a wonderful way

to wrap up a great evening.
Wouldn't miss it.

I'd wear a suit,
if I had a suit.

I like when comedians
get dressed up.

I mean, I don't have my routine
fully worked out just yet.

Use the restaurant
as inspiration.

I mean, we all know how funny
things can get around there.

You guys remember that time
I set the sprinkler system off,

and shorted out
the entire kitchen?

That is funny, considering it's
the first time I've heard of it.

Some things are better
left unsaid, dear.

Funny enough, there are a lot
of similarities

to waiting tables and things
that have happened

in my own life.
Like what?

Constantly meeting new people,
developing coping skills

for those people.

For example, I had this two top
the other day,

and they just kept running me
in every which direction.

You know, nothing I did
was ever right for them.

They reminded me
of this foster family

that I used to live with
when I was a kid

that thought that I was actually
their own personal slave.

And so I handled the table
the same way

that I used to handle
the family.

Every time they would send me
to go do something,

I would come back
into the room

with one less item
of clothing on.

And, you know, then finally
at the end, they just--

They just hope
you just go away.

Tell me you did not
do this at the restaurant.

DENNY:
Well, I had this other table.

It was a-- It was a four top
of psychiatrists.

You know,
just very like--

Very--

You can't make any suggestions
to these people,

because they overanalyze
everything.

"You suggested a fruit cup
for dessert.

Does that mean you have some
feelings toward homosexuality?"

I do love a fresh fruit cup.

You are a fresh fruit cup.

MADISON:
Want to know an ex-con's idea
of a perfect date?

Mads...
It starts with a courtship

in the cafeteria,

and concludes with getting raped
at knifepoint in the showers.

You share
a sense of humor.

This is my sister,
Madison.

I knocked, but I don't think
you could hear me

over laughter.
SARAH: That's okay.

I'm Sarah.
Really nice to meet you.

I'm really happy
that you were able to come.

I can't stay. We can't stay.

Nonsense. Join us.

I'm-- I'm Linda.

Denny, you didn't
mention a sister.

LLOYD: I'm Lloyd,

and we are celebrating
my wife's 50th birthday.

Hurrah.

And Mandel, Shaun.

Hey.
It's nice to meet all of you.

Really, I've heard
some really nice things.

But my brother and I
have a lot to get done

before our big move to Chicago
and all.

Chicago?

You didn't mention
a move to Chicago.

Madison, I'd really like it

if you just sit with these
people for a few more minutes.

It's important to me.

CALISTA:
Worthless fucking excuses
for children.

That's all we have here.

I swear to fucking God, we're
gonna kill the both of you

if things don't start
to change around here.

You think we want to spend
every minute

worrying about
your fucking problems?

FELIX:
We aren't raising no goddamn
sissy faggots

in this household, boy!

Come back here, boy!

Goddamn it, I said get
your sissy ass back here.

Right now!

Hey.

Hey.

I'll get it. It just needs
a good-- You know.

I'll get it.

Denny.

Denny.

Stop.

I want to show you
something.

Come on.

Okay.

My father had a Cadillac
when I was a kid.

He'd put me
in the front seat.

This was back when you could
get away with that.

And I'd fiddle
with the radio dial.

Nah, nah, no.

Probably drove him crazy,
but he never said a word.

Mm-hm.

It was, uh,
nice meeting your sister.

Two of you are planning
a move to Chicago.

Nothing's been
decided yet.

I'll give you plenty of notice,
if that's what you're asking.

We really enjoy having you
at the restaurant, Denny.

I'm a member of the family.
That's right.

Except I'm not.
Yes, you are.

I'm not a member of your family,
Lloyd.

I'm an employee.

You know, Lloyd,
I'm not really up

for a romantic walk
on the water.

Well, you're in luck.
We're not walking by the water.

All right, but if this
is some kind

of employee psychological test,

you can just give me an F.

Come on,
you big lollygagger.

When I was younger,
I spent hours out here.

Just looking out
at the lake.

It was calming.

The isolation and the silence
and coldness was numbing.

I'd stand here, I'd let it seep
into my body like a drug.

A drug that would
take the pain away.

Take a deep breath.

Go on,
take a deep breath.

That breath will
freeze your soul for a moment.

It'll let it hibernate away from
its worries and its troubles.

Sarah mentioned
that your parents passed,

and that you've been on your own
for some time.

That's not easy,
being alone.

And all your feelings
stuffed inside of you,

no place to go,
nobody to share them with.

I know.

I lost my family
a long time ago.

My father left
when I was still a child.

To this day I do not know why.

But one morning
he was just gone.

And my mother chose
not to talk about it.

Like he'd never been there
to begin with.

Well, needless to say, things
were different after that.

We lived a lie.

She became distant,

unable to express love.

She locked herself away.

And then one afternoon
I came home from school

and I found her lying
on the bathroom floor.

No note, no goodbye,
no nothing.

The lie caught up to us.

I was 16 years old,

and I was all alone.
And for the next 10 years,

it was like--

Like I was in a coma.

Like I was just
treading water.

Then I met Linda.

She made my life.

She made my life.

We couldn't have kids
of our own,

but we have found so much
happiness in what we do have,

and we're thankful.

We're thankful for you.

I lied on my job
application.

I never worked
at any of those places.

I-- I made it up.

Haven't even eaten
at any of them.

Why the hell do you think
I hired you?

Do you really think
I would hire somebody

who worked at Fuddruckers?

I don't want
to lie anymore.

Hey.
Hey.

I was getting ready to head out,
unless you needed some help.

No, I'm good.

You weren't really
yourself today.

Long day.

That's all.

Are you really
going to Chicago?

Can we talk
about something else?

Yeah, what do you want
to talk about?

Are you nervous
for tomorrow?

Tomorrow?
Yeah, your gig.

I haven't really
thought about it too much.

Probably not a good idea.

Are you sure?

Because you were
really excited about it.

Well, maybe trying to make
people laugh

isn't such
an important thing.

Well, that's a shame.

Maybe another time.

Well, um, I really
gotta get going,

'cause I have the babysitter
waiting and everything.

Okay.

Okay.

Do you wanna stop by?

I promised Isabella
that she could stay up late,

since I'm gonna be here
all day tomorrow, and--

No, I got a while
before finish up here.

Are you sure?

'Cause we were gonna watch
The Wizard of Oz.

She's never seen it.

It's a classic.
"There's no place like home."

I'm good. Thanks.

Oh, um, there's a gift
for you inside.

Not that you'll be needing it.

I can't believe the clothes
I used to wear.

Oh, my God, and Lloyd.

You gotta come here
and look at this, come on.

He-- He was trying to juggle.

Oh, this was taken the day
we opened the restaurant.

Oh.

So many good people
have come and gone.

Oh, Shaun.

Shaun was so nervous
his first day.

This was his first job,
he was still in high school,

and as I remember it,
he even got sick.

Mandel, on the other hand,

he took over the kitchen
the day he arrived,

and he has never looked back.

Oh, Sarah.

Sarah was terrified
of being a mom.

She was two months pregnant
when she started with us,

and she was already
on her own.

May I?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Isn't she
the most adorable thing

you have ever seen?

Mm-hm.

Lloyd and I wanted
to have children.

But I was never able.

I carried around an enormous
amount of guilt for years.

It was hard for me.

At times it still is.

But, uh, Lloyd,
he stuck by me.

He always says,
"As long as I have you...

...I have everything
I'll ever need."

We would have been
such great parents.

I think you already are.

Thank you.

Oh, my God, look at me.
I'm so sorry, I'm--

Tears all over your--

You mentioned how much
you like it

when comedians
get dressed up.

So we all pitched in.

Go on, go on, take a look.

Sarah picked it out
for tomorrow.

The shoes are a pair that Lloyd
doesn't really use anymore.

Maybe they'll-- They'll fit.

We're so excited for you.

Tomorrow is going to be
a very special day.

Okay...

...say "cheese."

Hey, there, buddy.
Climb aboard.

You need a ride there,
buddy?

You're letting in
all the cold air.

All right, buddy,
last chance.

I got a schedule to keep.

Suit yourself.

LENNY BRUCE :
What is

If what is, you have to sleep
eight, 10 hours a day,

that is the truth.

A lie will be
people need no sleep at all.

Truth is what is.

If every politicianfrom
the beginning is crooked,

there is no crooked.

But if you are concerned
with a lie,

what should be,

and what should be
is a fantasy.

A terrible, terrible... I
swear to tell the truth...

LENNY BRUCE:
...that someone gave
the people...

the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth, so help me God.

FELIX:
I told you

we ain't raising
no goddamn sissy faggots

in this household, boy.

It's time you grew upand
started acting like a man.

Come back here, boy!
Goddamn it.

Right now!

What is this?

Goddamn it, boy.

I ain't gonna tell you
again.

You give it to me,
or I'll--

CALISTA:
No!

DENNY:
I killed them.

I killed them.

Is that
what you believe?

Is that
what you remember?

What good
does the truth do us now?

I was there
when they were buried.

PRIEST:
They cry unto the Lord

in their trouble,
and he saveth them...

DENNY:
I never told you.

PRIEST:
...out of their distresses.

DENNY:
The sky opened,

and the sun came out
for the first time in ever.

And it blinded me.
PRIEST: . ..and delivered them

from their destructions.

I told them everything
that you said,

just as you said it.

How you went to the closet,
and you got the gun,

and I wanted to stop you,
but it was too late.

And just like that,
you were gone too.

And I was all alone.

And the longer
that I carried the lie,

the more real it became.

And I began to resent you.

No matter how bad
things were,

was it worse
than not having our family?

I hated you.

And over time,
I stopped loving you.

You don't love me anymore?

Do you know how long
I've waited?

How much I've suffered?

Do you have any idea?

I protected you
because you protected us.

They deserve what they got,

and I hope
that they're rotting in hell.

Don't. Don't touch me.

I can't feel you anymore.

Oh, God, what did I do?

I was raped, Denny.

I never told you that.

The first week
they put me in there

I was raped.

When you're young,
you get noticed.

And for the first time
in my life,

boy, was I popular.

Every day seemed
like a thousand,

each one blurring
into the next.

I kept to myself,

but inside,
trouble finds you.

And they controlled me
with fear

and fucked me like a pig.

MAN:
Hey, little lady.

Only thing
that kept me going,

that kept me alive,

was knowing that each day
brought me closer to a time

when we would be together
again.

And no matter
what they did to me,

I stayed strong.

I knew that if I was ever
gonna make it home to you,

I had to be strong.

Tell me,
how you gonna suck it?

MADISON: And I learned
to hurt them...

Oh! Fuck!

MADISON:
...before they hurt you.

You-- I'm gonna fucking
kill you! No.

No.

Don't.

MADISON:
And I did survive.

And the past is gone.

Hi, guys.
Hey. How you doing?

How are you?
Good to see you again.

LINDA:
Or a small cup of soup,

which is our
tomato rice special.

No call?
No, he doesn't have a phone.

It's not like him to be late.
Especially, today.

I gotta go.

SHAUN: Look out!

DENNY:
There's this saying

that your family's the only one
that you've got,

so you better make

the best of the time you have
with them,

because when they're gone,
they're gone.

But what
if there was a place

where you could trade in
members of your family...

...that you didn't want

for ones that you did?

Right?

"Welcome to The Exchange,
how can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi,
I was wondering what I might get

for two horrible parents?"

"Well, you're in luck.

We're running
a manager's special

on all
dysfunctional families."

"Aah. You are?"

"Today, and today only.

Trade in any two alcoholic
and abusive parents,

and get a set of loving
and caring surrogates.

And if you throw in
that sister of yours,

we'll even give you
a cute, cuddly dog!"

"It's a once
in a lifetime offer!"

But can you feel the same

about people
that aren't your flesh?

Whose blood would you wash
from your hands

if you had to choose?

Hi, gentlemen, can I help you?
Still serving?

Kitchen is closed.

But I'm sure we can rustle up
something for you.

There you go.

Mind if we grab a seat?

Take your pick.

Coffees?
Please.

SARAH: Hey, Linda?
Yeah.

Now that I have a chance
to breathe,

do you mind if I go looking
for Denny?

He was just acting so weird
last night, I'm really worried.

Lloyd's worried he might've
said something to upset him.

I just hope nothing's wrong.

Go on,
I'll take care of these guys.

Thank you, Linda.

MAN :
All passengers traveling
to Chicago on bus 1351

can check in
at this time.

Boarding will begin
in 15 minutes,

and all seating
is first come, first serve.

Stay here.

MAN:
♪ Judge the fruits
Of the family ♪

♪ By the apples
That fall from the tree ♪

♪ The roots in the ground
Entomb them ♪

♪ Until death
Sets them free ♪

♪ A man travels
In search of his needs ♪

♪ And returns home
To find them ♪

WOMAN:
♪ A familiar role
Abandoned in a tree ♪

♪ The bridge
You waited on ♪

♪ Before she ever came
Into view ♪

MANDEL:
In my entire life,

I have never cooked
as much food as I did today.

Dude, my feet, ugh,
are fricking killing me.

Oof. Heh.

How about you give Papa's feet
a little rubsie, huh?

Ooh. Get your nasty feet
off of me.

Come on.
Shaun.

Really?

Linda?
Yeah?

Any word from Sarah?

No. Not yet.

All right.

The dining room clear?

We still have one table.

Goddamn it.

All right, well, soon as
they're gone, just, uh,

just lock up.

Hey, guys? I'm gonna head out
and start looking for Denny.

I'll take the north side,
you divvy up the rest.

Sure. Okay.
All right.

Take a coat, sweetheart.

LLOYD:
I will.

Great work today.
Thanks.

SARAH:
Denny, it's Sarah.

We missed you
at the restaurant.

♪ To lift your faith ♪

Denny?

♪ From your fall ♪

♪ So heavy fog ♪

♪ The life you had ♪

Oh, my...

♪ Before ♪

Denny?

Here's a good one.

What are pennies
made out of?

Dirty copper.

What, do you think
I'm an idiot?

It's the oldest cop joke
in the book.

You gotta do better
than that.

Okay, how about this one?

What'd the cop say
to his bellybutton? Hm?

Hm?

Check this out.

AARON:
No shit.

Well, look what the cat
dragged in.

That sure is one fine suit
you got there.

Where's the funeral...

Turtle Man?

How's that sister of yours
doing?

She kill anyone lately?

You do remember us,
don't you?

It's been a long time.

Too long.

MIKE:
Why don't you join us,
Turtle Man?

Ah, Denny.

Oh, thank God.

We were worried sick.

I was just about to head out
and look for you.

I was gonna scour the town.
Where have you been?

MIKE: You two know each other?
Of course we do.

He works for me.
Is everything okay?

Just buddies from high school,
that's all.

The three of us
go way back.

Just thought we'd take a moment
to catch up.

Any fond memories you'd like
to share with us, Turtle Man?

Turtle Man?

Sure.
His nickname from high school.

We used to have all kinds
of fun together.

Ain't that right,
Turtle Man?

A real class clown, this guy,
he and his sister.

Did you know one time
the two of them

were the talk of the city?

They were in all the newspapers,
on television.

Everybody knew
who they were.

They were the most popular kids
around.

I see.

Well, officers,
I'm afraid we're closed.

So I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave.

Now, that's a damn shame.

Another time.
Thanks for coming.

We'll need our checks.

LLOYD:
No, no. It's on the house.

Now, that's some good
old-fashioned hospitality

right there.
My pleasure.

MIKE:
Well, thank you kindly.

And congratulations
on your anniversary.

Twenty years
is a very long time.

Isn't that right,
Turtle Man?

MADISON:
Touch him again
and I'll kill you.

We were just talking
about you.

Denny, let's go.

Some things
never change.

Denny, I said, let's go.

Nobody's going
anywhere.

Fuck you, pig!

Denny, now!

I need you to relax
and put the gun down.

Denny, we need to leave now.

Do not take
another step.

Denny, please.

Please.

Denny!

LINDA: Lloyd?
No!

What if somebody
loves you so much,

but you don't love them
back?

Is that any different
than a bullet to the head?

"So how's the new family?

You know,
the one you traded us in for?

Your own sister?"

"Oh, they're great.
Thanks for asking."

"So have you told them
about us?

I mean, what you did
to your real family."

"I was hoping
to just keep that a secret."

"I don't think
they'd understand."

"Yeah, but don't you think

they'd wanna know the truth
about what happened?"

"Well,
they know that I love them

and that I'd do anything
for them."

"Anything at all?"
"Yeah, that's right, anything."

"Would you die for them?"

Denny.

I belong here, Mads.

I love you.

You see, love is...

Love is the only thing
in this world

worth dying for.

RANDALL:
Denny Briggs, everybody!
Denny Briggs!

Brand-new face
in local comedy.

OFFICER :
1380-61, 1380-61...

DENNY:
At Miller's
Family Restaurant,

you don't have to be related
to be a member of our
family.

For 20 years,

Lloyd and Linda Miller
have believed

that the people
and communities they serve

are their business.

Miller's also knows

that world-class
customer service

starts at home,

so our focus
is on more than the families

we serve as customers,

it's also on the people
that work with us.

We owe our long history
of success and happiness

to the employees
we consider family.

Over time,
we've remained the same,

dedicated to serving you
great home-cooked meals

at a reasonable price.

Like our popular meatloaf
and mashed potatoes special,

our steaming hot bowl of
homemade tomato rice soup,

and of course, our
world-famous cinnamon flavored
sticky buns.

Come on down
and join the reunion,

where everyone
is welcome,

and each and every meal
is cooked with love.

Miller's Family
Restaurant,

food too good
to remain a secret.

We are proud to welcome you
to the Miller family.

♪ I hate to see you cry ♪

♪ I love to watch
Your eyes ♪

♪ Whenever where we stare
At the sea ♪

♪ We sink
Beneath the waves ♪

♪ Floating all the way ♪

♪ Walk into the sun
With me ♪

♪ I hate to see you go ♪

♪ But I love
To watch you leave ♪

♪ Maybe in another place
And time ♪

♪ I long
To hold you tight ♪

♪ Girl, you
make me high ♪

♪ I couldn't even see
Straight ♪

♪ So girl
Come home to your man ♪

♪ Right where
you belong ♪

♪ Damn this empty home ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ Pieces will remind ♪

♪ Girl, you've gotta know
We tried ♪

♪ And every
time the sun ♪

♪ Shines on everyone ♪

♪ Every time the clouds
Start to fall ♪

♪ So girl
Come home to your man ♪

♪ Right here
Where you belong ♪

♪ Damn this empty home ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ So girl, come home
To your man, darling, now ♪

♪ Right here
Where you belong ♪

♪ Damn this empty home ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man
Darling, now ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man ♪

♪ Damn this lonely man
Darling, now ♪

♪ Right now ♪

♪ Right now ♪

♪ Right now ♪

♪ Right here and now
Damn this lonely man ♪