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1
00:00:27,031 --> 00:00:32,531
- Hallo? - Hallo?
Yes? - Sorry to disturb you.
2
00:00:32,604 --> 00:00:35,865
Am I speaking to the switchboard
of the illustrious company...
3
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:40,323
- ..ltalpetrolcemetermo
textilfarmometalchemicals? - Yes.
4
00:00:40,438 --> 00:00:43,990
My name is Mrs Fantozzi Pina...
5
00:00:44,063 --> 00:00:47,906
..the wife of accountant
Fantozzi Ugo, an employee of yours.
6
00:00:48,063 --> 00:00:53,156
No phone calls allowed
except for notifications of death.
7
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:58,156
Wait, I would humbly like
to remark,...
8
00:00:58,521 --> 00:01:03,365
..that I haven't had any news
of my husband for the last 18 days.
9
00:01:03,948 --> 00:01:10,531
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but I'm starting to get worried.
10
00:01:10,823 --> 00:01:14,198
- Hold on.
- Thank you, miss.
11
00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:19,823
That's very kind of you.
They will find out about daddy.
12
00:01:20,531 --> 00:01:24,781
Is a certain accountant Fantozzi
part of our staff?
13
00:01:24,865 --> 00:01:28,156
I can look at the personnel office.
Fabriani, Facchetti...
14
00:01:28,229 --> 00:01:32,281
...Falabrino, Zarotti, Battifer,
who messed up the files?
15
00:01:32,365 --> 00:01:37,156
General Archives here:
found! ID 7820l8-a.
16
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:39,781
Janitor? We need the master key!
17
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:48,656
That's his punch card,
only the entrance is clocked in.
18
00:01:48,896 --> 00:01:52,406
Notify the office
of lost employees.
19
00:02:48,490 --> 00:02:50,573
What was behind this wall?
20
00:02:50,698 --> 00:02:54,990
The old toilets. They walled them up
20 days ago.
21
00:02:55,063 --> 00:02:57,115
Break through this wall.
22
00:03:23,906 --> 00:03:26,615
- Come on, help him!
23
00:03:28,323 --> 00:03:32,823
- Do you feel sick?
- How did it happen?
24
00:03:34,229 --> 00:03:42,906
- Thanks. - How're you? - Perfect,
just a slight appetite.
25
00:03:43,313 --> 00:03:48,323
Bravo!
26
00:03:53,073 --> 00:03:55,115
7 C.
27
00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:58,656
Miss.
Ok, 13 M.
28
00:04:03,979 --> 00:04:06,323
- Water, miss.
29
00:04:06,406 --> 00:04:12,156
- Miss Silvani, I'm back.
- Yes, I know.
30
00:04:17,521 --> 00:04:21,240
- Accountant, I'm back.
- A 6. - Hit.
31
00:04:21,323 --> 00:04:23,823
- Is it a cruiser?
- Yes.
32
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,240
P 1 2
33
00:04:36,365 --> 00:04:41,615
- Ah! - Carboni?
- Were you hiding? - Ouch!
34
00:04:41,938 --> 00:04:43,990
Good morning, Miss Silvani.
35
00:05:02,896 --> 00:05:08,073
- Fantozzi? - Ouch!
- Are you hurt? - Not at all.
36
00:05:08,156 --> 00:05:12,490
Since you already have so many files,
why don't you take mine too?
37
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:15,990
- It's my pleasure.
- Thanks.
38
00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:36,781
In order to stamp his punch card
exactly at 8:30
39
00:05:37,396 --> 00:05:41,698
Fantozzi used to wake up at 06:15.
That was 16 years ago.
40
00:05:42,229 --> 00:05:46,115
Today, after many experiments
and improvements,...
41
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,948
he wakes up at 07:51
42
00:05:51,198 --> 00:05:54,698
stretching the limits
of human possibilities.
43
00:05:55,281 --> 00:05:57,990
Everything is calculated
in split seconds:
44
00:05:58,063 --> 00:06:00,865
5 seconds to come to.
45
00:06:00,948 --> 00:06:05,656
4 seconds to bear his wife's appearance...
46
00:06:05,729 --> 00:06:08,865
...over 6 seconds to ask himself,
as usual, and with no answer,...
47
00:06:08,948 --> 00:06:14,698
...why he married that
domesticated creature in the first place
48
00:06:14,771 --> 00:06:18,031
3 seconds to drink his wife's
abominable coffee
49
00:06:18,104 --> 00:06:22,781
...at 3000 degrees Fahrenheit.
50
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:27,406
8 to 10 seconds to
cool off his burning tongue.
51
00:06:49,406 --> 00:06:52,615
2 1/2 seconds to kiss
his daughter Mariangela.
52
00:06:56,948 --> 00:07:00,031
Simultaneous combing
and latte-drinking
53
00:07:04,823 --> 00:07:08,948
Brushing teeth with mint toothpaste
and coffee flavor,...
54
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:16,698
...causing a physiological response
requiring another 6 seconds European time.
55
00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:19,406
...3, 2, 1!
56
00:07:21,865 --> 00:07:24,365
Now 3 minutes to get dressed,...
57
00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:28,406
...and run to the bus stop
for the 08:01.
58
00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:38,781
Barring unforeseen consequences.
59
00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:45,490
Switch!
60
00:07:56,698 --> 00:07:58,865
We'll never make it.
61
00:07:59,656 --> 00:08:03,448
- So?
- I'll catch the bus from above.
62
00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:07,490
- No! - No, daddy.
- Yes, I'll jump from the balcony.
63
00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:14,240
- I'll save 2 minutes.
- You never did it before, you're not ready!
64
00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:19,073
I've never done it,
but I've always dreamt of doing it.
65
00:08:24,698 --> 00:08:28,281
- Ugo! - What is he doing?
- He's catching the bus from above.
66
00:08:38,063 --> 00:08:41,906
- Come on, accountant!
- Thanks.
67
00:09:24,938 --> 00:09:26,990
Don't push!
68
00:09:29,615 --> 00:09:31,656
What are you doing?
69
00:09:35,271 --> 00:09:38,906
- What happened?
- No, not me!
70
00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:46,490
- Who was the first one?
- He was!
71
00:09:49,365 --> 00:09:55,865
Wait, I need to go to work,
I have to punch my card.
72
00:10:09,396 --> 00:10:12,698
- I'm late.
- Wait.
73
00:10:12,771 --> 00:10:18,156
- You must sign, it's your responsibility.
- Do you have a pen? - No.
74
00:10:18,229 --> 00:10:22,198
I'll sign with my blood. Goodbye.
75
00:10:30,948 --> 00:10:35,615
- Come on, Fantozzi, you can make it!
- Come on. - You've arrived.
76
00:10:36,688 --> 00:10:39,365
Once more, Fantozzi!
77
00:10:40,156 --> 00:10:42,656
Come on, last effort.
78
00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:49,448
Don't help him or he'll be disqualified.
79
00:10:49,573 --> 00:10:52,865
- Get up, you'll make it!
- Don't give up.
80
00:10:54,073 --> 00:10:59,698
- You're almost there.
- Come on! - Come on, Fantozzi.
81
00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:06,198
Just 100 meters
and you're there. Come on, Fantozzi.
82
00:11:06,771 --> 00:11:08,823
Come on, Fantozzi!
83
00:11:09,104 --> 00:11:16,656
Alè! Alè! Alè!
84
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:35,281
The exit looked like the starting line
of the 100 meter Olympic championships.
85
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:21,823
Miss Silvani was elected Miss 40th floor
for the second time.
86
00:12:22,729 --> 00:12:26,781
Fantozzi had been desperately
courting her for 7 years.
87
00:12:28,021 --> 00:12:33,406
- Fantozzi, what are you doing here?
- Nothing, I need a file.
88
00:12:33,479 --> 00:12:36,365
- Miss Silvani?
- Yes?
89
00:12:36,448 --> 00:12:40,656
I would like to give you a dual color
band for your adding machine.
90
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,740
I know they don't give them out here...
91
00:12:43,813 --> 00:12:50,573
How nice! Fantozzi,
you're an angel.
92
00:12:50,656 --> 00:12:54,281
Miss, I...
if it doesn't bother you...
93
00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:58,740
- Miss Silvani?
- What?
94
00:12:58,823 --> 00:13:02,323
- Did you see the sun
shining... - Yes, nice.
95
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,448
- Are you leaving? - I have an urgent file.
- I'll do that.
96
00:13:06,604 --> 00:13:08,906
I have to go to the bathroom.
97
00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:15,031
During the funeral of the mother
of earl Lamberti,...
98
00:13:15,115 --> 00:13:18,990
...Mega-natural Managing Director,
deceased at 126 years of age.
99
00:13:20,073 --> 00:13:26,073
Fantozzi was in complete panic.
100
00:13:26,156 --> 00:13:29,865
Miss, may I come with you?
101
00:13:29,948 --> 00:13:33,781
Thanks, but I'll take the tram
with surveyor Carboni.
102
00:13:34,156 --> 00:13:37,448
- I insist!
- But I promised him!
103
00:13:37,531 --> 00:13:44,698
- I have a car.
- Well... are you taking me home? - Yes.
104
00:13:44,854 --> 00:13:46,906
We should have talked about it today.
105
00:13:47,104 --> 00:13:51,573
I have a very important meeting.
Where are you going?
106
00:13:52,271 --> 00:13:57,906
- Please, miss. - Also the flowers.
Ouch! Open! - God!
107
00:13:58,115 --> 00:14:03,656
- Fantozzi, are you kidding?
Do you want me to die? - My mistake.
108
00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:06,781
A bad mistake.
109
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:10,406
Which one is yours? This piece of junk?
110
00:14:10,573 --> 00:14:14,281
- The hearse was better.
Let's go. - Please.
111
00:14:14,365 --> 00:14:16,406
My hand!
112
00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:22,490
Get on the other side.
113
00:14:23,938 --> 00:14:28,323
What's up?
All right, I got it.
114
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:35,740
- Are you hurt?
- No, just my finger got smashed.
115
00:14:35,865 --> 00:14:41,031
- Be careful I am closing.
- Wait, I'll do it.
116
00:14:49,438 --> 00:14:54,156
Excuse me, I slightly smashed...
117
00:14:54,896 --> 00:14:58,031
- It could have been worse.
- Much worse.
118
00:14:59,063 --> 00:15:03,031
See the countess?
Today we are alive, and tomorrow we are not.
119
00:15:03,521 --> 00:15:09,115
"Enjoy today, because you never
know about tomorrow"
120
00:15:09,823 --> 00:15:14,948
- Nice poem, is it yours?
- Yes, something from my youth.
121
00:15:15,031 --> 00:15:18,656
What does it mean?
122
00:15:18,729 --> 00:15:23,281
Let's pick up the spring flowers
before the winter comes.
123
00:15:23,365 --> 00:15:25,865
- So...
- Go on.
124
00:15:25,948 --> 00:15:30,781
May I have the honor to invite you
for lunch at "Gigi the fucker"?
125
00:15:30,854 --> 00:15:36,948
- It's a bit late...
- You're busy.
126
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:41,656
- Ok... I accept.
- You accept?
127
00:16:02,646 --> 00:16:08,073
- Ouch!
- You assholes.
128
00:16:32,188 --> 00:16:36,740
- Get out, you turd.
- Show them who you are!
129
00:16:50,521 --> 00:16:53,865
- Now who's the asshole?!
- Me! Me!
130
00:16:59,896 --> 00:17:07,198
- Mind what you say!
- Do something. - Just a moment.
131
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:16,448
- Punch them.
- Say it again, if you have the guts.
132
00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:20,698
If you dare to shout I...
133
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,781
What's up?
134
00:17:34,563 --> 00:17:41,031
- I think everything is clear,
I would like to go. - Where?
135
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:48,073
My hand! My hand, my hand!
136
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:55,323
What do you want now?
It's all the lady's fault!
137
00:17:55,521 --> 00:17:57,990
That stupid lady's fault!
138
00:18:01,198 --> 00:18:05,240
You are disgusting.
Treating a woman that way.
139
00:18:05,771 --> 00:18:09,531
You know that was just a trick
in order to avoid...
140
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:13,490
..a rough fight.
141
00:18:13,698 --> 00:18:18,365
- Thank you.
- What are you doing? Miss?
142
00:18:18,906 --> 00:18:21,323
Miss, what are you doing?
143
00:18:22,573 --> 00:18:26,865
- Miss, and our lunch?
- I'm not hungry anymore.
144
00:18:27,104 --> 00:18:29,156
I booked.
145
00:18:53,146 --> 00:18:56,323
Excuse me? Are you insured?
146
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:01,115
- Pina?
- Yes, one moment.
147
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:05,031
I just wanted to tell you that
you are the most important woman...
148
00:19:05,156 --> 00:19:08,865
- ...and the most beautiful I have ever...
- Oh, Ugo.
149
00:19:09,979 --> 00:19:12,031
Damn...
150
00:19:13,938 --> 00:19:15,990
Good morning.
151
00:19:51,531 --> 00:19:56,781
- Damn. - Good morning.
- How are you, Fantozzi?
152
00:19:57,188 --> 00:20:00,865
- Do you have change?
- Good morning, director. Sure.
153
00:20:00,948 --> 00:20:04,281
One moment...
Here it is, my last one.
154
00:20:04,979 --> 00:20:09,031
I tried before and
it doesn't work.
155
00:20:23,906 --> 00:20:27,073
In every social circle,
there's always a certain person...
156
00:20:27,146 --> 00:20:30,406
...who organizes the
recreational events.
157
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:34,740
In Fantozzi's society
this was Filini.
158
00:20:34,823 --> 00:20:38,990
New year's eve dinner,
Mario Canello orchestra,
159
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:41,823
...Filini organization.
160
00:20:41,896 --> 00:20:44,281
Participation is mandatory.
It only costs 5000 liras.
161
00:20:44,354 --> 00:20:48,865
- I don't know... - I've already
signed you up, and your wife too.
162
00:20:48,938 --> 00:20:54,698
- And also the monkey... Albertina...
- Mariangela. my daughter.
163
00:20:54,771 --> 00:20:56,448
Yeah, sure, she doesn't need to pay.
164
00:20:56,521 --> 00:21:01,281
Fantozzi had never been able to escape
From Filini's abominable initiatives...
165
00:21:01,573 --> 00:21:08,615
...starting from the yearly football
match between bachelors and married employees.
166
00:21:08,698 --> 00:21:12,198
It takes place on the most devastated
field on the outskirts of town.
167
00:21:12,865 --> 00:21:16,323
The teams always play
very badly because of:...
168
00:21:16,406 --> 00:21:20,365
...desertions, forbidding from
mothers, spouses and house doctors.
169
00:21:21,063 --> 00:21:23,323
- Heads.
- Tails.
170
00:21:26,115 --> 00:21:32,323
- Here. - Where is it? - Stop.
- There it is.
171
00:21:32,479 --> 00:21:36,781
- Here. - No, that's a pebble.
- Don't stir up the water. - Carefully.
172
00:21:41,604 --> 00:21:44,698
- Careful. - Under there.
- Give it to me.
173
00:21:45,229 --> 00:21:47,656
- No, in the water.
- Take it out.
174
00:21:47,948 --> 00:21:51,281
- Quickly.
- Pass the ball.
175
00:21:51,438 --> 00:21:55,073
- Stop him! - To the right.
- Don't push. - Careful!
176
00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:59,323
- Goal!
- I scored!
177
00:21:59,854 --> 00:22:03,448
- I scored! - Bravo!
- We are great.
178
00:22:08,490 --> 00:22:12,115
- Braggart.
- Referee? That's a penalty!
179
00:22:14,354 --> 00:22:18,031
- Come on, kick it.
- One moment.
180
00:22:29,771 --> 00:22:32,448
- Careful.
- Come on. - I'm going.
181
00:22:38,646 --> 00:22:41,906
The goal scorer, who is he?
182
00:22:41,979 --> 00:22:45,448
- Referee, it bounced twice.
- What happened?
183
00:22:50,563 --> 00:22:54,323
- Mind the accountant!
- Stop him! - Push him!
184
00:22:55,604 --> 00:22:58,031
- Run!
- Stop him!
185
00:22:58,104 --> 00:23:02,281
- Bravo! - I kicked it!
- Everybody there!
186
00:23:02,604 --> 00:23:05,240
- Watch the shot!
- Look out!
187
00:23:07,021 --> 00:23:10,781
See what you did?!
188
00:23:19,479 --> 00:23:22,948
- Pass the ball. - Don't dribble.
- Don't hold onto the ball.
189
00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:28,865
- Careful...
- Corner! - Corner.
190
00:23:29,396 --> 00:23:34,198
- Let me kick it! - Hurry up.
- Here, this is the right spot. - Yes.
191
00:23:34,531 --> 00:23:36,573
- Spin.
- Kick it.
192
00:23:36,823 --> 00:23:38,865
It's mine! Mine!
193
00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:46,573
- Where's the ball? - He kicked it.
- Did you kick it? - Yeah.
194
00:23:46,646 --> 00:23:50,823
- But I should've kicked it!
- I wanted to surprise them.
195
00:23:50,906 --> 00:23:55,156
Go! Go! Go!
196
00:23:55,229 --> 00:24:00,365
- Keeper! - Where is he?
- Goal!
197
00:24:01,531 --> 00:24:05,406
Kick him out!
198
00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:10,073
- It wasn't my fault. - Twice,
first with the right foot and then with the head.
199
00:24:10,156 --> 00:24:15,865
- I understand that...
- I won't play anymore, go away!
200
00:24:16,313 --> 00:24:20,323
- Ball!
- Come on, accountant!
201
00:24:22,063 --> 00:24:24,656
- It's mine! Mine!
- Stop him!
202
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,740
After 12 minutes
of the first half,...
203
00:24:28,813 --> 00:24:33,115
...the first symptoms
of a heart attack appear.
204
00:24:33,188 --> 00:24:36,365
Followed by the implacable
dark cloud of the employer...
205
00:24:36,448 --> 00:24:40,031
every employer has his own cloud.
206
00:24:40,115 --> 00:24:44,240
These evil clouds can stay away
over 14 months.
207
00:24:44,323 --> 00:24:48,615
But once they realize their
workers are on holiday,...
208
00:24:48,698 --> 00:24:53,198
...they will pour down tons
of thick cold rain.
209
00:24:58,615 --> 00:25:00,656
- Post!
- Stop! Stop!
210
00:25:05,698 --> 00:25:09,073
- Center!
- Try the breaststroke!
211
00:25:09,323 --> 00:25:11,656
I got it!
212
00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:17,573
- The ball.
- Kick it!
213
00:25:19,990 --> 00:25:22,031
Kick it! Kick it!
214
00:25:26,740 --> 00:25:28,781
That's too high!
215
00:25:29,365 --> 00:25:32,865
- I'll head it!
- You sure? - Very sure...
216
00:25:33,604 --> 00:25:37,115
When Fantozzi sees Saint Peter
hovering over the goalpost...
217
00:25:37,198 --> 00:25:40,740
..it is a sign that the tragedy
is finally coming to an end.
218
00:25:41,365 --> 00:25:44,781
It doesn't bounce anymore.
219
00:25:45,531 --> 00:25:48,281
The match is suspended!
Everybody go home!
220
00:25:48,365 --> 00:25:52,490
Last year the married won
3 heart attacks versus 2 drownings.
221
00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:56,531
Fantozzi was Filini's
favorite victim.
222
00:25:56,615 --> 00:26:01,073
Once he convinced him to buy
a boat in partnership.
223
00:26:01,156 --> 00:26:04,906
8 kilos of bills until 1984!
224
00:26:04,990 --> 00:26:09,365
Hunted by the usual cloud,
they left during a wonderful spring day.
225
00:26:18,531 --> 00:26:23,323
Look!
Our countryside is beautiful!
226
00:26:24,865 --> 00:26:29,406
- It's the doll's fault...
- Shall I clean it? - Hands off!
227
00:26:29,490 --> 00:26:31,531
- Can you see?
- Yes.
228
00:26:32,656 --> 00:26:38,240
- I'd drive more to the right.
Or, the left. - I can see clearly.
229
00:26:40,656 --> 00:26:44,448
- Stop. Stop!
- (in French) What is it?
230
00:26:45,365 --> 00:26:50,406
What happened?
Arrest those rascals!
231
00:26:50,479 --> 00:26:54,365
(in French) I'm sorry,
Minister of Petroleum.
232
00:26:54,448 --> 00:26:58,448
- Both of you come out.
Come here. - I'm sorry.
233
00:26:58,563 --> 00:27:04,115
- Don't bother. - Accountant
Fantozzi? - Follow us.
234
00:27:04,188 --> 00:27:06,645
(in French) He's so wet.
235
00:27:06,646 --> 00:27:10,656
He was driving!
Fantozzi, tell him.
236
00:27:10,729 --> 00:27:12,781
I said that, but...
237
00:27:15,938 --> 00:27:18,656
A hundred lashes each.
238
00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:22,531
They didn't fine us.
We were lucky.
239
00:27:22,615 --> 00:27:25,240
Because of this humiliating hitch...
240
00:27:25,313 --> 00:27:28,406
...they arrived at the camping site
late that night.
241
00:27:28,479 --> 00:27:33,115
See how wonderful?
This is heaven.
242
00:27:33,188 --> 00:27:37,406
- Shall we pitch the tent?
- Yes, ready!
243
00:27:41,365 --> 00:27:45,281
- Where?
- I would say here.
244
00:27:45,354 --> 00:27:48,156
Be careful.
245
00:27:49,408 --> 00:27:54,119
(in German) Italians always noise!
Always sing, guitar and mandolin.
246
00:27:54,260 --> 00:27:57,307
(in German) Silence!
"Here sleeping, we German!"
247
00:27:57,388 --> 00:28:01,026
- (in German) We German,
no Italian mandolin! - Shut up.
248
00:28:01,283 --> 00:28:05,791
- Stop the mandolin or they'll kick us out.
- Ok.
249
00:28:08,346 --> 00:28:12,096
First, the stakes.
250
00:28:12,121 --> 00:28:14,252
- I'll take them.
- Good.
251
00:28:25,832 --> 00:28:30,082
- Careful.
- Yes, careful.
252
00:28:30,878 --> 00:28:35,924
- Give me the hammer. - Shall I swing?
- No, you hold the stake.
253
00:28:35,989 --> 00:28:38,416
- Try to be careful.
- Don't worry.
254
00:29:35,559 --> 00:29:41,778
Please, be careful.
Damn, that hurts.
255
00:29:41,961 --> 00:29:45,263
You almost smashed my hand.
Look here.
256
00:30:19,538 --> 00:30:22,865
Once again, come on!
257
00:30:52,349 --> 00:30:53,880
Ouch!
258
00:30:56,726 --> 00:30:58,778
God!
259
00:31:01,677 --> 00:31:03,231
- Shall I go?
- You go.
260
00:31:08,203 --> 00:31:11,209
- I would like to try.
- Sure, come on board.
261
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,466
- You just have to pull the rope.
- Ok. - Shall I go on? - Yes.
262
00:31:23,747 --> 00:31:27,698
- Everything looks OK. - Perfect.
- Let's try it. Shall I go? - You go.
263
00:31:28,210 --> 00:31:30,303
It turned on!
264
00:31:36,179 --> 00:31:45,091
- Did you turn it off? - Yes.
I hate engines, I prefer sailing.
265
00:31:45,169 --> 00:31:48,716
- But you were too stingy to buy
a sailboat! - Yes.
266
00:31:49,255 --> 00:31:53,682
We can make one, with the flag,
and the pole as a mast.
267
00:31:57,622 --> 00:31:59,799
- Did it fit?
- Yes, completely.
268
00:32:01,208 --> 00:32:04,333
- Good, the wind is from the east.
- No, it's from the west.
269
00:32:04,479 --> 00:32:06,698
- It is from the east.
- I insist.
270
00:32:09,688 --> 00:32:11,823
- Shall I go?
- You go.
271
00:32:11,906 --> 00:32:16,177
They rented a rowboat
at a shameful price.
272
00:32:16,258 --> 00:32:18,259
A huge two-ton monster.
273
00:32:18,536 --> 00:32:22,101
- Wait.
- Not like that.
274
00:32:22,406 --> 00:32:27,573
- Don't pull. - I'm not pulling.
- Let me in, so.
275
00:32:27,646 --> 00:32:31,615
- Don't move, I'll go in.
- Where are you going? - Don't worry.
276
00:32:31,698 --> 00:32:38,656
- You need to be absolutely calm.
- Pardon me? - What are you saying?
277
00:32:38,740 --> 00:32:43,781
- Excuse me, Filini?
Come back. - What?
278
00:32:43,854 --> 00:32:47,781
I'll be back there.
We are making a mess of it.
279
00:32:47,865 --> 00:32:51,906
- Follow me, down. - Ok.
- Down, this way. - Down.
280
00:32:51,990 --> 00:32:56,990
- I'm stuck.
- No, put your leg behind your head.
281
00:33:12,688 --> 00:33:15,365
- I can't stand it anymore.
- Neither can I.
282
00:33:15,448 --> 00:33:17,781
I can't resist, I am going crazy.
283
00:33:18,771 --> 00:33:22,531
You sure you didn't bring
any water?
284
00:33:22,604 --> 00:33:29,073
- You should have done it.
- No, you said you would.
285
00:33:29,146 --> 00:33:31,823
No, you took the responsibility.
286
00:33:31,906 --> 00:33:35,156
The... The... the cloud.
287
00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:38,406
The employer's cloud!
288
00:33:38,479 --> 00:33:43,865
Here it is, hurray for the cloud!
Come here above, stop!
289
00:33:44,563 --> 00:33:47,990
- Please Rain!
- Rain!
290
00:33:49,979 --> 00:33:52,448
- Water!
- Water!
291
00:33:54,188 --> 00:33:58,531
- What are you doing? Where are you going?
- No, here! Here!
292
00:33:59,198 --> 00:34:02,031
- Where is it going?
- No!
293
00:34:08,229 --> 00:34:10,573
At 3 pm,...
294
00:34:10,656 --> 00:34:13,906
..Filini started hearing
sirens as if he were Ulysses.
295
00:34:13,979 --> 00:34:16,906
Filini!
296
00:34:16,990 --> 00:34:19,240
Accountant Filini!
297
00:34:19,938 --> 00:34:29,365
You are so beautiful!
We want you! Follow us.
298
00:34:29,448 --> 00:34:32,573
Fantozzi, on the contrary
was holding to his own style.
299
00:34:32,646 --> 00:34:35,531
Mystic hallucinations.
300
00:34:45,031 --> 00:34:49,115
- Do you have any fish?
- We didn't fish. - Any bread?
301
00:34:49,198 --> 00:34:53,823
- No, he should have brought it. - No, him.
- What the hell should I multiply, then?
302
00:35:13,198 --> 00:35:17,490
On Christmas' eve, in the Olympus
at the 18th floor,...
303
00:35:17,573 --> 00:35:22,156
...the natural and collateral mega directors
were exchanging amazing gifts.
304
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:25,740
Golden panettoni with sapphires and amethysts
instead of candies.
305
00:35:25,813 --> 00:35:29,948
And cheers with champagne
dated 1612.
306
00:35:30,021 --> 00:35:33,406
- Gentlemen, shall we go to a cafe?
- Yes.
307
00:35:34,573 --> 00:35:38,656
- The children are here.
- Let them in. - The first one.
308
00:35:44,271 --> 00:35:49,906
Be joyful, Jesus is born.
And many wishes to the Counselor.
309
00:35:49,979 --> 00:35:53,073
Good! Bravo!
310
00:35:54,854 --> 00:35:59,073
- This is for you, merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
311
00:36:00,104 --> 00:36:06,656
- "Flowers with colored petals."
- "But changing in fruits..."
312
00:36:08,229 --> 00:36:10,615
Go.
313
00:36:15,281 --> 00:36:21,115
"A big and nice cherry tree,
said to a little one:..."
314
00:36:21,198 --> 00:36:26,073
"..you are good, you have flowers,
with many colored petals."
315
00:36:26,323 --> 00:36:29,781
"But you won't be able,
to give much fruit."
316
00:36:34,531 --> 00:36:37,656
- A specimen from the zoo.
- She's well tamed.
317
00:36:37,740 --> 00:36:42,281
We should make a selection,
I am a sensitive person.
318
00:36:42,365 --> 00:36:45,490
She's the daughter of
accountant Chimp.
319
00:36:45,573 --> 00:36:49,198
Or Sir Gorilly.
320
00:36:49,354 --> 00:36:54,531
- Cheetah, do you like bananas?
- Cheetah, flip over. - No.
321
00:36:56,771 --> 00:36:59,073
- Her father is here.
- Who is he?
322
00:37:18,063 --> 00:37:23,365
Anyway, I wish you all my humblest
Christmas greetings...
323
00:37:23,438 --> 00:37:25,906
...and a respectable happy new year.
324
00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:28,781
Let's go my dear.
325
00:37:32,188 --> 00:37:34,240
Keep it tight
because it's very cold.
326
00:37:35,656 --> 00:37:37,990
Daddy, why did they call me Cheetah?
327
00:37:38,073 --> 00:37:40,948
- Who?
- Who's Cheetah?
328
00:37:42,740 --> 00:37:47,573
Cheetah Hayworth
was a very famous American actress.
329
00:37:47,656 --> 00:37:50,906
She was the most beautiful of them all.
330
00:37:51,781 --> 00:37:58,573
But, you know what?
You're even more beautiful than she was.
331
00:37:59,771 --> 00:38:01,823
Maybe.
332
00:38:35,031 --> 00:38:39,490
- All the best!
- Happy New Year. - All the best.
333
00:38:41,823 --> 00:38:43,615
Hey!
334
00:38:43,698 --> 00:38:46,865
Let's go there! Good evening.
335
00:38:47,906 --> 00:38:52,740
- Happy New Year Miss Silvani.
- Thanks. - How are you?
336
00:38:52,813 --> 00:38:57,031
- Carboni, do you know my wife?
- Nice to meet you. - Sit here.
337
00:38:57,104 --> 00:39:00,156
I want Mariangela next to me.
338
00:39:00,229 --> 00:39:05,240
Mr Fantozzi, what are you doing?
You're at table 22, not here.
339
00:39:05,313 --> 00:39:08,073
- Carboni, please.
- See you later.
340
00:39:08,938 --> 00:39:10,990
Here I am.
341
00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:24,531
- Nice. - After... to toast together,
...later.
342
00:39:24,604 --> 00:39:27,698
- A toast.
- Shall we toast?
343
00:39:29,656 --> 00:39:32,698
It's cold, isn't it?
344
00:39:32,781 --> 00:39:35,948
- Aren't you cold?
- A little bit.
345
00:39:36,865 --> 00:39:40,615
No, Mariangela,
take it off or you'll look ugly.
346
00:40:19,115 --> 00:40:22,531
Excuse me?
Won't you change it?
347
00:40:24,646 --> 00:40:27,365
Presto! Presto! So it'll be over soon.
348
00:40:29,729 --> 00:40:31,781
Hey!
349
00:40:35,438 --> 00:40:39,906
- The tortellini! - Good.
- Tortellini and sour cream.
350
00:40:39,990 --> 00:40:42,240
- Tortellini?
- Yes.
351
00:40:48,740 --> 00:40:52,865
- Do you like it? - Yes, a lot.
- More? - No, thanks, that's enough.
352
00:41:01,979 --> 00:41:05,365
- Have a bit of salt.
- Thanks.
353
00:41:15,281 --> 00:41:19,698
- Pork leg with lentils!
- I love this dish!
354
00:41:25,021 --> 00:41:27,073
It's nothing!
355
00:41:27,688 --> 00:41:29,740
It can happen.
356
00:41:30,448 --> 00:41:32,490
It brings good luck.
357
00:41:33,354 --> 00:41:37,031
Accountant, it's money!
358
00:41:37,656 --> 00:41:41,490
Be happy, sir!
Happiness all year long!
359
00:41:49,115 --> 00:41:54,323
- Sir, fruit salad and whipped cream.
- I like this a lot.
360
00:42:01,354 --> 00:42:03,406
Enough.
361
00:42:44,188 --> 00:42:46,906
Around 10:30, after dinner,
362
00:42:46,990 --> 00:42:50,198
since the conductor had
another appointment,
363
00:42:50,281 --> 00:42:53,156
he fast-forwarded to New Year...
364
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:56,906
Attention please!
3 minutes to the midnight!
365
00:42:56,990 --> 00:42:59,906
Be ready with the champagne!
366
00:42:59,990 --> 00:43:04,281
- Wait.
- Nine, eight, seven, six,...
367
00:43:04,354 --> 00:43:10,031
..five, four, three, two, one...
368
00:43:10,104 --> 00:43:14,531
Midnight!
Happy New Year!
369
00:43:17,656 --> 00:43:20,073
Toast! Happy New Year!
370
00:43:21,823 --> 00:43:29,323
- All the best! - Who'll kiss me?
- Me! A kiss.
371
00:43:41,396 --> 00:43:45,490
Fantozzi? Where were you?
I've been looking for you all night.
372
00:43:45,563 --> 00:43:51,240
Shall we toast?
Happy New Year! All the best!
373
00:43:56,521 --> 00:43:58,573
Happy New Year!
374
00:43:59,490 --> 00:44:01,531
All the best!
375
00:44:22,521 --> 00:44:24,573
All the best!
376
00:44:25,271 --> 00:44:27,323
Happy New Year!
377
00:44:58,198 --> 00:45:02,406
Ugo?
378
00:45:02,646 --> 00:45:05,906
Are you hurt?
Don't ruin this night, please.
379
00:45:06,031 --> 00:45:10,240
- I'm not hurt.
- Nothing? - Good for you.
380
00:45:10,323 --> 00:45:14,990
- Nothing? - He's not hurt.
- Happiness!
381
00:45:15,073 --> 00:45:18,031
Music! Hurray!
382
00:45:36,948 --> 00:45:40,031
At 1:30 a.m., conductor's
bogus mean-time...
383
00:45:40,104 --> 00:45:45,073
or otherwise, at the real midnight,
the fireworks commence.
384
00:45:50,063 --> 00:45:54,073
- My watch says 1:30.
- It's midnight. They have...
385
00:45:54,146 --> 00:45:56,906
- It doesn't matter! Hurray!
- All the best!
386
00:45:56,979 --> 00:46:00,865
Let's go to my house,
I have a bottle of Brunello wine!
387
00:46:00,938 --> 00:46:04,490
- Party at Fantozzi's place!
- All the best! Ouch!
388
00:46:04,563 --> 00:46:11,198
- Happy new year! - Who'll drive with me?
- I have 7 seats free!
389
00:46:11,281 --> 00:46:16,198
- Careful below!
- Go ahead! A new year, a new life!
390
00:46:16,281 --> 00:46:19,990
- Heads up!
- Happy New Year!
391
00:46:31,406 --> 00:46:36,073
I think I'll leave it parked here.
392
00:46:37,979 --> 00:46:40,906
The wild sir Catellani...
393
00:46:41,406 --> 00:46:44,823
...had been elected Grand Maestro
of the Human Resources Department.
394
00:46:44,896 --> 00:46:49,823
At work:
No pain, no gain!
395
00:46:49,896 --> 00:46:53,073
True words from somebody
who worked his ass off.
396
00:46:53,563 --> 00:46:59,156
He placed in the hall the statue
of his mother, Teresa...
397
00:46:59,240 --> 00:47:02,656
..and forced everybody passing by
to honor her.
398
00:47:10,229 --> 00:47:12,948
- Do you need anything?
- No.
399
00:47:19,906 --> 00:47:22,490
- Enjoy your meal, Miss Silvani.
- Thanks.
400
00:47:22,573 --> 00:47:26,073
- I'll sit next to you.
- Sure, sit down. - Thanks.
401
00:47:28,438 --> 00:47:31,990
- Is this seat taken? - Yes.
- Then I'll sit here.
402
00:47:32,063 --> 00:47:37,323
- This one too... this too.
- Both? - Yes.
403
00:47:37,396 --> 00:47:42,115
- Wine? - Thanks, water and wine.
- But water is discouraging.
404
00:47:42,240 --> 00:47:45,073
- Come here, Fantozzi.
- Thanks.
405
00:47:45,146 --> 00:47:51,198
I say: B 1 2,
and he says: water...
406
00:47:51,281 --> 00:47:53,781
Did you eat pasta with beans?
407
00:47:53,865 --> 00:47:56,906
- No, I had the beef.
- I like it a lot.
408
00:47:58,531 --> 00:48:04,115
You know what? Catellani
likes to play billiards.
409
00:48:04,198 --> 00:48:09,406
Good morning and have a nice meal!
Do you know something?
410
00:48:09,490 --> 00:48:12,656
Catellani likes to play billiards,
411
00:48:12,729 --> 00:48:16,073
Why are you telling me?
I found it out first!
412
00:48:16,156 --> 00:48:20,948
- Somebody from finance department,
Mr Vitti. - I know him.
413
00:48:21,021 --> 00:48:26,365
- Seven games lost,
two promotions. - Two?!
414
00:48:28,896 --> 00:48:30,948
May I come in!
415
00:48:31,406 --> 00:48:33,448
Good morning.
416
00:48:39,813 --> 00:48:42,948
- Do you need anything?
- No, no.
417
00:48:51,156 --> 00:48:56,990
- Good morning director. - Hey!
- The red light is on. - Not for me.
418
00:48:57,063 --> 00:48:59,115
Dear Catellani!
419
00:49:02,156 --> 00:49:06,240
- Where's the sleeping pill?
I can't sleep. - It's here.
420
00:49:06,323 --> 00:49:10,490
From a lowly janitor he became a civil servant.
And Carboni? He's a billiards champion.
421
00:49:10,563 --> 00:49:16,031
Stupid idiot,
he lost 37 games in a row,...
422
00:49:16,115 --> 00:49:19,115
...and so he became
Soglio's assistant.
423
00:49:19,198 --> 00:49:23,323
He can go in Catellani's office
even when it's restricted. Damn him!
424
00:49:30,479 --> 00:49:32,781
- Ugo? - Yes?
- Listen,
425
00:49:33,938 --> 00:49:41,448
- why don't you lose
a couple of games too? - Never.
426
00:49:41,531 --> 00:49:45,281
I'd prefer to starve,
eat bread with onions.
427
00:49:45,365 --> 00:49:50,198
And I never played billiards
in my life.
428
00:49:50,271 --> 00:49:53,198
- I have my dignity.
- You're right.
429
00:49:53,615 --> 00:49:58,323
And I could never look into
your eyes...
430
00:50:01,406 --> 00:50:05,615
To the right, slow down.
Higher. Up your bum!
431
00:50:05,698 --> 00:50:10,698
Hold the cue down.
Wait, I'll show you.
432
00:50:10,823 --> 00:50:15,115
Hold the cue
in this position and...
433
00:50:15,188 --> 00:50:18,115
Rap! What happened?
434
00:50:19,354 --> 00:50:23,615
Don't be silly!
Hold the cue down. Over there!
435
00:50:23,698 --> 00:50:29,156
Up your bum. No, too much.
Up your head, stiff but relaxed.
436
00:50:29,229 --> 00:50:34,240
Now, a bit further, to the right.
Straighten your back!
437
00:50:34,323 --> 00:50:38,990
- You must shoot here.
- And now pull back. Come on!
438
00:50:41,313 --> 00:50:43,365
What have you done?
439
00:50:43,896 --> 00:50:48,823
- What are you hiding? - A tooth.
- A tooth? - An incisor actually.
440
00:50:48,906 --> 00:50:54,240
- Where are the pins?
- The pins are... I drank them.
441
00:50:54,313 --> 00:50:58,490
Very good, now you'll eat them.
442
00:50:58,573 --> 00:51:02,490
- It's 03:30, not my lunchtime.
- Eat the pins.
443
00:51:02,563 --> 00:51:04,073
Do you mind if I eat only the red one?
444
00:51:04,146 --> 00:51:07,448
- All of them! - I am on diet.
- All of them. - All of them.
445
00:51:10,854 --> 00:51:14,281
I just need to learn to lose,
not to win.
446
00:51:14,365 --> 00:51:18,323
I only teach to be a winner or nothing else.
Punishment.
447
00:51:20,073 --> 00:51:24,823
- Give me the back of your hands.
- But you just did it last night. - Hands!
448
00:51:33,271 --> 00:51:37,448
The lesson is over,
read the book. See you tomorrow night.
449
00:51:37,656 --> 00:51:41,698
- Can I come around one o'clock?
- At 02:30. - Fine.
450
00:51:43,031 --> 00:51:47,531
He met the billiards teacher
through a night security guard,
451
00:51:47,615 --> 00:51:50,156
who was an incurable night-bird.
452
00:51:50,281 --> 00:51:56,865
Rather than confess to his wife
the shameful truth,...
453
00:51:56,948 --> 00:52:03,198
..he preferred to simulate
a love affair.
454
00:52:05,865 --> 00:52:11,490
To make the thing believable,
he left clues everywhere.
455
00:52:23,073 --> 00:52:25,115
Until, one night,...
456
00:52:26,479 --> 00:52:33,948
♪ Parlami d'amore, Mariù.
Dimmi che il mio amore sei tu. ♪
457
00:52:34,031 --> 00:52:40,906
♪ Gli occhi tuoi belli brillano.
Dimmi che illusione non è... ♪
458
00:52:41,813 --> 00:52:46,656
- Are you cheating on me?
- Yes. That's life.
459
00:52:57,156 --> 00:53:00,656
I separated the beds...
460
00:53:01,563 --> 00:53:03,615
♪ Parlami d'amore... ♪
461
00:53:09,896 --> 00:53:15,740
- Do you need anything? - No.
This time I've been very careful.
462
00:53:18,656 --> 00:53:25,365
Bitch! Bitch! Old hag!
I'll show you!
463
00:53:25,646 --> 00:53:27,906
You'll see...
464
00:53:28,771 --> 00:53:34,990
I am cleaning well.
It was very dirty.
465
00:53:49,021 --> 00:53:53,531
When you said "bitch"
were you alluding to your wife?
466
00:53:53,615 --> 00:53:56,740
Yes, how did you know?
Everyday I...
467
00:53:56,813 --> 00:54:00,323
That's true, every day
coming in and going out...
468
00:54:00,396 --> 00:54:04,406
- he says to his wife:
old hag and... - Bitch!
469
00:54:06,188 --> 00:54:10,115
- Can you play billiards?
- Me? Sure.
470
00:54:11,115 --> 00:54:13,156
Saturday night at my place.
471
00:54:14,063 --> 00:54:19,240
- Everybody! - He's a nice director.
- Nice director.
472
00:54:19,313 --> 00:54:22,531
- Yes, a wonderful person.
- You are a saint! - An apostle.
473
00:54:22,615 --> 00:54:25,115
- Three cheers for our director.
- Hurray!
474
00:54:43,104 --> 00:54:45,156
Hi, Diego.
475
00:54:46,490 --> 00:54:53,115
- Let's drink a toast to the winner.
- To you!
476
00:54:53,188 --> 00:54:57,073
Stop drinking! Now we play.
Fantocci! Where is Fantocci?
477
00:54:57,573 --> 00:55:02,365
- Er, Fantozzi? - Go find him!
- He's calling you. - "Fantocci"!
478
00:55:03,906 --> 00:55:08,740
Here he is. Are you scared?
Come on! Come on!
479
00:55:10,073 --> 00:55:12,406
- Ready?
- I am. - Mummy.
480
00:55:12,979 --> 00:55:16,906
- Let's go.
- Make room.
481
00:55:33,573 --> 00:55:38,406
- Come on. You do this for me and
for Mariangela. - Don't worry.
482
00:55:39,281 --> 00:55:43,781
- Nice mum.
- Thanks. - Stop it.
483
00:55:44,948 --> 00:55:48,656
- And you? - Mr Filini Renzo,
accidents department.
484
00:55:48,729 --> 00:55:52,740
- Are you an accountant? - Yes.
- You can mark the points. Billiards!
485
00:55:53,063 --> 00:55:56,865
- Thanks, you're very kind.
- So? - I am very happy.
486
00:55:56,948 --> 00:56:00,073
- Let the best man win, me!
487
00:56:04,198 --> 00:56:08,490
- Please. - No, thanks. - Please.
- I don't like them. - Please!
488
00:56:09,031 --> 00:56:11,531
If you insist I can eat this.
489
00:56:12,490 --> 00:56:15,573
Are you eating the chalk?
490
00:56:18,021 --> 00:56:22,281
- Here it is.
- Wait a moment.
491
00:56:25,271 --> 00:56:28,948
- This too?
- What are you doing?
492
00:56:29,656 --> 00:56:35,031
- Here, the left...
- Don't be silly, give it to me.
493
00:56:36,188 --> 00:56:38,490
And play, you idiot!
494
00:56:42,281 --> 00:56:45,531
The ball is the right one.
495
00:56:49,813 --> 00:56:53,990
- Your turn.
- You didn't even touch it.
496
00:56:54,115 --> 00:56:57,490
- A little bit. - Did he touch it?
- No! - See?
497
00:56:57,563 --> 00:57:00,906
- Go on. - I think it is...
- Go on, "asshole"!
498
00:57:04,813 --> 00:57:09,240
- One point for me!
- Yes, one point for the director!
499
00:57:10,021 --> 00:57:14,490
- Very good, director!
- Now, I'll teach you a lesson.
500
00:57:14,729 --> 00:57:17,198
Be careful, it's a masterstroke.
501
00:57:19,156 --> 00:57:25,115
- Go! - Very good, director!
- Good-Thanks!
502
00:57:26,531 --> 00:57:29,781
Eight points, mark it.
Come on.
503
00:57:29,938 --> 00:57:35,365
Hurry up! "Asshole"!
Don't get distracted.
504
00:57:35,448 --> 00:57:38,448
It will all be over soon.
505
00:57:38,531 --> 00:57:42,948
- Pull. - That's very easy.
506
00:57:43,021 --> 00:57:48,365
You touch mine and make a point...
He messed up, stupid!
507
00:57:48,823 --> 00:57:51,490
- Shall I eat them?
- Do you want to eat them?
508
00:57:51,573 --> 00:57:56,365
Are you a cannibal?
Come on. Buffoon.
509
00:57:59,479 --> 00:58:02,115
Bravo! Bravo!
510
00:58:04,115 --> 00:58:09,490
Many thanks to the "asshole".
Accountant, point.
511
00:58:09,656 --> 00:58:11,698
Let's see.
512
00:58:14,188 --> 00:58:17,240
Bravo! Good job! Great!
513
00:58:17,813 --> 00:58:19,865
Please
514
00:58:22,656 --> 00:58:26,948
- Another missing!
- 24 for the director.
515
00:58:27,031 --> 00:58:30,656
- Eight to the company!
- Nice work!
516
00:58:30,729 --> 00:58:33,573
Eight points against the
asshole.
517
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:39,906
That's just luck, asshole.
518
00:58:48,479 --> 00:58:52,365
Eight!
This is skill, asshole.
519
00:58:59,281 --> 00:59:03,615
Yours is luck, mine is skill,
my dear asshole.
520
00:59:04,146 --> 00:59:07,323
After 380 "assholes"
and 49 points against 2,...
521
00:59:07,531 --> 00:59:11,656
...Fantozzi met again
his wife's eyes.
522
00:59:14,740 --> 00:59:16,781
Can you excuse me one moment?
523
00:59:19,729 --> 00:59:21,781
I would like,...
524
00:59:22,938 --> 00:59:25,948
I'd like to play, now.
525
00:59:41,365 --> 00:59:44,990
- Mark! 11 points, not 3!
- I'm sorry.
526
00:59:45,813 --> 00:59:49,156
- "Asshole"!
- There it is!
527
00:59:55,990 --> 01:00:02,198
12 Points. And now
for the central pin effect.
528
01:00:04,865 --> 01:00:07,156
5, pull it up!
529
01:00:08,448 --> 01:00:10,490
Mark!
530
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:15,740
5 corners kick and 11 points.
531
01:00:17,906 --> 01:00:19,948
Match!
532
01:00:21,073 --> 01:00:25,115
Royal triplet back with ball.
533
01:00:31,646 --> 01:00:37,698
Accountant Fantozzi: 51.
Director Earl Catellani: 49.
534
01:00:46,490 --> 01:00:48,531
I'll take the old lady!
535
01:00:49,740 --> 01:00:53,365
What are you doing, young man?
Put me down.
536
01:00:53,938 --> 01:00:56,573
Excuse me, madam
537
01:01:01,615 --> 01:01:04,490
Hallo? Earl Catellani?
538
01:01:04,563 --> 01:01:07,656
These are the conditions
to release your mother.
539
01:01:08,521 --> 01:01:12,198
First: a monthly allowance with a 13th month
for my wife and my daughter.
540
01:01:12,271 --> 01:01:15,948
Second:
a plane to Libya.
541
01:01:16,021 --> 01:01:21,115
The plane is the most important thing.
Because your mother...
542
01:01:21,188 --> 01:01:26,698
- He's my man! - Leave me alone.
- I love you! Forgive me, Diego.
543
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:32,906
- Your mum is asking that.
- Wait a moment. - What are you doing?
544
01:01:32,990 --> 01:01:39,531
- Are you leaving me?
Don't go away, Ugo!
545
01:01:39,615 --> 01:01:43,073
- Wait for me here.
- Open up, Ugo. I love you!
546
01:01:43,156 --> 01:01:47,281
Open! I want you! I love you!
547
01:01:49,448 --> 01:01:51,490
Don't run away!
548
01:01:52,854 --> 01:01:57,240
Three months later, facing
the image of his tragic physical decline,...
549
01:01:57,323 --> 01:01:59,781
Fantozzi decided to go on a diet.
550
01:01:59,865 --> 01:02:03,531
After years of deskbound life,
his new word was...
551
01:02:03,615 --> 01:02:08,990
Sports! I should take up some sport.
Look, I don't fit in anymore.
552
01:02:09,063 --> 01:02:14,531
- Ok, but be careful. Mind your age.
- No dangers, no age!
553
01:02:16,156 --> 01:02:20,406
- Pina. My back.
- My god, Ughino.
554
01:02:20,938 --> 01:02:25,740
- I just told you.
- I'm stuck. - Where's the pain?
555
01:02:25,813 --> 01:02:32,323
- My back.
- Ugo, you can't do sports anymore.
556
01:02:32,396 --> 01:02:35,198
I like you the way you are.
557
01:02:35,281 --> 01:02:39,490
Filini booked the tennis field
on the coldest Sunday of that year.
558
01:02:39,573 --> 01:02:42,448
From 6 to 7 in the morning.
559
01:02:42,531 --> 01:02:44,990
All the other time slots...
560
01:02:45,063 --> 01:02:48,906
...had been booked by players
of higher ranking.
561
01:02:48,990 --> 01:02:53,990
Miraculous director, heirs,
cardinals, and sons.
562
01:02:54,073 --> 01:02:57,448
This way!
563
01:02:57,656 --> 01:03:00,948
This way! Come!
564
01:03:01,771 --> 01:03:05,948
What are you doing?
You almost crashed.
565
01:03:06,771 --> 01:03:13,240
In the changing rooms there were
three players from the night before.
566
01:03:13,323 --> 01:03:15,906
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
567
01:03:17,573 --> 01:03:19,615
Go on.
568
01:03:26,063 --> 01:03:29,156
- Cold, aren't you?
- No.
569
01:03:32,198 --> 01:03:36,781
Filini's outfit: his rich auntie's
white skirt.
570
01:03:36,865 --> 01:03:40,781
White t-shirt, fat leather
walking shoes,...
571
01:03:40,865 --> 01:03:46,573
...scottish socks and garters,
double racket.
572
01:03:47,365 --> 01:03:52,156
FantozzĂ: t-shirt, armpits-length
pants open on the front,..
573
01:03:52,229 --> 01:03:55,531
...and poorly closed
with a safety pin.
574
01:03:55,615 --> 01:03:59,919
Racket from 1912,
elegant green hat with pocket:...
575
01:04:00,021 --> 01:04:02,233
..writing ~Town Hall Casino
of SaĂnt VĂncent~.
576
01:04:02,373 --> 01:04:07,498
- Which side do you prefer to play?
- It's up to you.
577
01:04:07,573 --> 01:04:12,115
- Well, I chose this side.
- Fine. - That way faces the sun.
578
01:04:25,435 --> 01:04:28,538
Well? Are you starting?
579
01:04:28,661 --> 01:04:32,865
- Are you being informal to me?
- No, I mean: Mr Filini would you start?
580
01:04:32,948 --> 01:04:35,466
- Ah, informal!
- Yes! - Wait.
581
01:04:41,773 --> 01:04:44,646
- Well?
- One moment!
582
01:04:45,623 --> 01:04:47,824
- Ready?
- Ready!
583
01:04:49,563 --> 01:04:51,615
Noise of smashed glass
584
01:04:51,698 --> 01:04:58,198
- 15-0.
- What? I'm here.
585
01:04:58,271 --> 01:05:02,823
- I thought you were..
- Hey!
586
01:05:03,216 --> 01:05:05,268
- Ready?
- Ready!
587
01:05:09,958 --> 01:05:11,091
Go!
588
01:05:11,143 --> 01:05:14,771
A good service:
bend your knees,...
589
01:05:15,083 --> 01:05:18,740
...left foot ahead,
hammer position...
590
01:05:18,823 --> 01:05:22,406
..waist rotation and
violently...
591
01:05:34,932 --> 01:05:41,109
What are you doing?,
Retiring? Good!
592
01:05:46,911 --> 01:05:49,671
Let's clean the lines too.
593
01:05:57,944 --> 01:06:02,481
Fantozzi abandoned the idea of sport,
but not the diet.
594
01:06:04,669 --> 01:06:08,115
He sacrificed part
of his summer vacation...
595
01:06:08,188 --> 01:06:12,448
...to find health in the
~Magnolie~.
596
01:06:12,622 --> 01:06:15,240
You are here to pay, aren't you?
597
01:06:15,265 --> 01:06:18,536
No, I am here about the diet.
598
01:06:18,997 --> 01:06:24,786
Perfect! I'll tell you about
the paying terms. All at once!
599
01:06:24,919 --> 01:06:29,833
It's a psychological motivation
so that the patient is involved in the cure.
600
01:06:29,919 --> 01:06:35,450
- I don't have much cash.
- There is some money here.
601
01:06:35,567 --> 01:06:42,156
50,000 liras and 10,000 tip to the lady
and 40,000 for me.
602
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:47,073
For the rest you can sign a check,
and the saints are for you.
603
01:06:47,502 --> 01:06:49,554
Thanks a lot.
604
01:07:14,615 --> 01:07:16,781
Excuse me?
605
01:07:16,854 --> 01:07:21,448
I didn't have breakfast yet,
what about board?
606
01:07:21,521 --> 01:07:26,365
Nothing! You fast the first 10 days.
No food, no drink.
607
01:07:28,354 --> 01:07:32,490
What's the toilet for, then?
608
01:07:41,573 --> 01:07:47,948
Smells like mushroom risotto!
609
01:07:57,438 --> 01:08:01,823
It really is mushroom risotto!
Where is it?
610
01:08:01,906 --> 01:08:04,781
It's not here. Only the smell.
611
01:08:04,854 --> 01:08:09,948
They send it through the air pipe
under the bed.
612
01:08:10,021 --> 01:08:14,490
Tonight I had pot roast
and onions.
613
01:08:14,563 --> 01:08:19,031
Plug the pipe with your coat
if you don't want to go crazy.
614
01:08:24,063 --> 01:08:26,281
No! I must resist!
615
01:08:32,313 --> 01:08:36,948
...were derived from night deals.
616
01:08:46,281 --> 01:08:51,365
"Tagliatelle alla boscaiola.
Paglia e fieno ai 4 formaggi."
617
01:08:51,448 --> 01:08:54,490
"Rigaroni alla bella Bologna".
618
01:08:54,573 --> 01:08:57,115
Cash, please.
619
01:08:57,573 --> 01:09:02,781
- Do you want something?
- How much for a portion?
620
01:09:02,865 --> 01:09:06,281
- 28,000 liras.
- "Paglia e fieno?"
621
01:09:08,229 --> 01:09:12,615
- These are my last 30,000 liras,
no change. - Bucatini?
622
01:09:12,698 --> 01:09:15,365
Here are the bucatini.
623
01:09:15,948 --> 01:09:22,281
- I'm starving, I'm starving!
- Quickly, please!
624
01:09:22,615 --> 01:09:26,323
- For you?
- Lasagnette.
625
01:09:26,406 --> 01:09:32,906
- How much do you have?
- I have 10,000 lire. You need more.
626
01:09:35,396 --> 01:09:37,448
Damn you.
627
01:09:41,063 --> 01:09:47,031
- Here it is!
- NO!
628
01:09:47,115 --> 01:09:52,531
28,000 liras! Thieves!
You will never get me! Never!
629
01:09:53,948 --> 01:09:59,115
But after 2 days and 2 nights
of heroic resistance, they finally got him.
630
01:10:00,115 --> 01:10:05,281
"Ravioli di spinaci
with double butter."
631
01:10:05,365 --> 01:10:08,781
- What's on tonight?
- Pappardelle with hare's sauce.
632
01:10:08,854 --> 01:10:12,990
- Two portions.
- Ok. 56,000 liras.
633
01:10:13,073 --> 01:10:18,198
- I don't have cash anymore...
- We have checks you can sign.
634
01:10:23,490 --> 01:10:25,531
Here it is!
635
01:10:44,063 --> 01:10:49,073
In the following nights
he went 280,000 liras into debt.
636
01:10:49,156 --> 01:10:51,698
Then, he lost count.
637
01:10:51,781 --> 01:11:01,906
(German speaking)
638
01:11:21,188 --> 01:11:27,031
Got! He was eating!
Take him away!
639
01:11:27,115 --> 01:11:29,156
To the check point!
640
01:11:29,229 --> 01:11:33,865
Weight check for patient nr 28.
641
01:11:34,948 --> 01:11:39,490
That night Fantozzi signed
two giant checks.
642
01:11:39,563 --> 01:11:45,740
He bought the most expensive specialty:
"SpaghettĂ alla Montecristo".
643
01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:25,670
(German orders)
644
01:12:29,001 --> 01:12:34,251
- I can't talk.
- A man of class never talks.
645
01:12:36,049 --> 01:12:39,281
My "compact" model,
no diets or sacrifice...
646
01:12:39,365 --> 01:12:42,854
...you have 20 kilos and 20 years less.
647
01:12:51,731 --> 01:12:56,022
Miss Silvani?
You have an old debt to me.
648
01:12:56,240 --> 01:13:00,216
Do you know that they opened
up a new Japanese restaurant?
649
01:13:01,193 --> 01:13:04,505
Ok, Fantozzi, it's a pleasure to accept.
650
01:13:04,997 --> 01:13:08,365
You are thinner, what did you do?
You look like another person.
651
01:13:08,399 --> 01:13:11,368
- Can you turn me, please?
- Yes.
652
01:13:12,213 --> 01:13:17,713
- I go to dinner with the managers.
- You look like a manager too.
653
01:13:19,499 --> 01:13:21,036
Kiss.
654
01:13:22,843 --> 01:13:29,052
- I can't do that.
- It doesn't matter. Bye. See you soon.
655
01:13:29,497 --> 01:13:31,200
Bye.
656
01:14:28,427 --> 01:14:33,152
- Sayonara. - Sayonara. You are so beautiful,
you look very nice dressed like that.
657
01:14:33,209 --> 01:14:37,809
- You're very elegant too.
This is. - My pleasure.
658
01:14:37,879 --> 01:14:41,926
- My beloved puppy.
I can't live without him. - I see.
659
01:14:42,014 --> 01:14:47,655
- He can't eat without me.
- My pleasure.
660
01:14:47,712 --> 01:14:51,619
- He's a peke,...
- Let's go.
661
01:14:51,987 --> 01:14:54,029
I booked 3 months ago.
662
01:15:00,209 --> 01:15:01,998
- Nice.
- Wait.
663
01:15:05,279 --> 01:15:11,445
See puppy, all these people
eating their foody-woody?
664
01:15:20,432 --> 01:15:23,912
- Are you going to feed him?
- Yes, sure.
665
01:15:23,937 --> 01:15:26,772
The rules of Japanese
restaurants are terrible.
666
01:15:26,937 --> 01:15:30,562
The staff speaks only Japanese.
667
01:15:31,329 --> 01:15:38,834
Hello. This dog needs food.
He's hungry! "Yummy"! Hungry.
668
01:15:39,696 --> 01:15:43,045
Kitchen, eat. You, cook.
669
01:15:43,404 --> 01:15:47,224
You understand?
(Japanese speaking)
670
01:15:50,083 --> 01:15:57,343
- Miss Silvani? - Yes?
- Your dog will be fine - Thanks.
671
01:15:57,440 --> 01:16:01,871
He's eating in the kitchen.
You must bow, it's the rule.
672
01:16:02,019 --> 01:16:05,488
- You bow, please.
- I'll go.
673
01:16:06,877 --> 01:16:11,638
I'm sorry, it was my turn!
674
01:16:11,863 --> 01:16:13,769
(Japanese speaking)
675
01:16:13,823 --> 01:16:17,902
- Do you like here?
It's nice, isn't it?
676
01:16:18,023 --> 01:16:23,433
- Kneeling down is a bit uncomfortable.
- I feel very good.
677
01:16:23,583 --> 01:16:26,135
- Miss Silvani. - Yes?
- I would like...
678
01:16:26,269 --> 01:16:30,269
- I would like to tell you the most important
thing of my life. - Tell me.
679
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:33,612
- Did you see the goldfish?
- Yes, why - They are mullets.
680
01:16:33,637 --> 01:16:36,168
What's happening?
681
01:16:36,373 --> 01:16:39,873
Ever since the Human Resource
Department, seven years ago...
682
01:16:40,336 --> 01:16:42,388
Sake.
683
01:16:43,204 --> 01:16:48,311
- What's that? - The famous Japanese wine rice.
- Good.
684
01:16:49,769 --> 01:16:52,488
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
685
01:16:55,196 --> 01:16:59,234
- What's this? Melted lead?
- No, you must drink it very warm.
686
01:16:59,341 --> 01:17:03,921
- Drink it. - The secret
is to drink it all at once.
687
01:17:04,775 --> 01:17:07,655
It doesn't matter! It does...
688
01:17:12,267 --> 01:17:15,405
- Air!
- Have you got a light?
689
01:17:15,488 --> 01:17:17,821
Wait...
690
01:17:22,408 --> 01:17:26,056
See... it's cold water.
691
01:17:26,229 --> 01:17:29,970
Miss Silvani, for 7 years
I've been trying to tell you...
692
01:17:30,048 --> 01:17:32,100
Oh, well!
693
01:17:32,503 --> 01:17:35,931
(Japanese speaking)
694
01:17:39,213 --> 01:17:42,974
What? Yes!
695
01:17:43,839 --> 01:17:48,603
- What did she say? -
She said that... I mean...
696
01:17:48,727 --> 01:17:52,237
- ...enjoy your meal. - You are so wise!
- Yes, but...
697
01:17:52,350 --> 01:17:55,744
Why'd they do that?
698
01:17:56,519 --> 01:18:00,408
- Why did they throw dishes?
- Here?
699
01:18:00,681 --> 01:18:04,810
It's a typical Japanese custom.
700
01:18:04,853 --> 01:18:08,613
The Russians throw glasses,
here they throw dishes.
701
01:18:08,638 --> 01:18:11,773
Please, do that too, please.
702
01:18:12,095 --> 01:18:15,505
I'm afraid I can't scream so well.
703
01:18:15,530 --> 01:18:19,155
Just one time, for me.
704
01:18:19,314 --> 01:18:22,092
- I can do that.
- Good.
705
01:18:22,566 --> 01:18:28,002
Bravo, that was a good scream.
706
01:18:28,363 --> 01:18:33,363
- What are you doing? - I am checking
the water temperature.
707
01:18:33,446 --> 01:18:39,392
Anyway, I've been trying to tell you...
708
01:18:50,034 --> 01:18:51,048
Alive?
709
01:18:51,147 --> 01:18:55,063
- What?
- He'll cook them "alla livornese".
710
01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:57,988
- With some garlic.
- Yes, yes.
711
01:19:04,269 --> 01:19:06,644
He chopped them.
712
01:19:11,535 --> 01:19:16,118
- Thanks. - What, raw?
- No, it's grilled.
713
01:19:16,686 --> 01:19:19,280
Raw, it's raw!
714
01:19:21,030 --> 01:19:26,863
Please, do eat.
Don't complain, smile.
715
01:19:27,738 --> 01:19:31,030
Not with your hands!
With the chopsticks!
716
01:19:32,780 --> 01:19:35,280
Got it? Use the chopsticks.
717
01:19:43,589 --> 01:19:45,419
I am sorry.
718
01:20:16,259 --> 01:20:18,311
Good!
719
01:20:22,869 --> 01:20:27,017
Mr Fantozzi, you cheated me,
you're fatter than before.
720
01:20:27,243 --> 01:20:30,753
Not really, it's because
of the Japanese food...
721
01:20:31,243 --> 01:20:33,785
Do you know Buddha?
722
01:20:38,811 --> 01:20:40,863
"Ghiri ghi."
723
01:20:41,321 --> 01:20:44,946
Fine, you eat this crap,
but be quick,...
724
01:20:45,019 --> 01:20:48,155
'cause I'm fed up of you
and this place!
725
01:20:49,738 --> 01:20:51,946
(in English) What is this?
726
01:20:54,966 --> 01:21:00,280
- Finally some beef.
727
01:21:05,236 --> 01:21:12,446
- Pier Ugo! - What...
- You murdered a Pekinese!
728
01:21:12,530 --> 01:21:16,738
It was a mistake!
I am not a murderer!
729
01:21:16,821 --> 01:21:22,385
It's not my fault, I swear.
I didn't mean it.
730
01:21:22,455 --> 01:21:26,780
Please, believe me.
It's a misunderstanding.
731
01:21:26,894 --> 01:21:31,768
I will make "hara-kiri" with the
chopsticks, you help me.
732
01:21:31,870 --> 01:21:33,854
- It's under the table.
- I am sorry.
733
01:21:34,028 --> 01:21:40,877
I'll kill myself in the pool
of the raw muttels!
734
01:21:48,769 --> 01:21:55,280
My trusted disciples!
High priest, give me bread!
735
01:21:55,446 --> 01:22:01,030
No bread here, only rice.
Bread is forbidden.
736
01:22:01,411 --> 01:22:05,854
Then, I'll make an exception...
737
01:22:05,994 --> 01:22:07,854
..I'll multiply...
738
01:22:07,933 --> 01:22:09,947
..the...
739
01:22:12,853 --> 01:22:18,238
Fish and rice...
740
01:22:22,891 --> 01:22:26,485
The forgiveness of Miss Silvani
cost Fantozzi a very high price.
741
01:22:26,568 --> 01:22:32,401
A litter of Pekinese,
directly coming from Hong Kong...
742
01:22:33,391 --> 01:22:35,443
I'm so excited.
743
01:22:35,955 --> 01:22:40,463
Fresh air. Is it too windy for you,
Fantozzi?
744
01:22:41,151 --> 01:22:45,943
- No, thanks. - You'll regret
having brought a third person.
745
01:22:46,031 --> 01:22:51,833
That's fine for me,
I could have never come alone with you.
746
01:22:51,924 --> 01:22:56,526
- Is the hotel warm?
- Which hotel?! I know everybody here.
747
01:22:56,591 --> 01:22:58,822
They'll want to invite us.
748
01:22:59,319 --> 01:23:02,454
Carboni told so much bullshit...
749
01:23:02,513 --> 01:23:05,838
...that at 1,600 meters Fantozzi
got competitive hallucinations.
750
01:23:05,948 --> 01:23:09,470
- I've been a skiing champion.
- What?
751
01:23:09,651 --> 01:23:12,776
I was on the championship skiing team.
752
01:23:12,933 --> 01:23:16,026
- How nice.
- Yes.
753
01:23:16,099 --> 01:23:22,776
- You'll show us.
- I haven't skied for 10 years. - What?
754
01:23:23,002 --> 01:23:27,877
- I haven't skied for 20 years.
- Speak louder!
755
01:23:27,985 --> 01:23:34,026
I haven't skied for 30 or 35 years!
756
01:23:41,971 --> 01:23:47,106
Hi, Claudio!
Miss Countess, how are you?
757
01:23:48,821 --> 01:23:55,237
Hi, see you soon!
Cheers! Cheers!
758
01:23:58,236 --> 01:24:04,019
- Carboni knows everybody.
- I am not like him.
759
01:24:08,388 --> 01:24:10,440
Here we are.
760
01:24:11,908 --> 01:24:15,367
- Shall we stop here?
- Sure, we'll have a drink.
761
01:24:16,181 --> 01:24:19,515
Everybody is here.
762
01:24:20,683 --> 01:24:24,901
- Andrea, the usual.
- Which usual?
763
01:24:25,755 --> 01:24:30,724
The usual. You are here too.
When did you arrive?
764
01:24:31,058 --> 01:24:35,193
Welcome, how are you?
Hi, Diana. Hi, dear.
765
01:24:35,349 --> 01:24:39,443
- What people. - Shall we sit there?
- Who's he?
766
01:24:40,641 --> 01:24:44,568
- Look at that.
- Where did they find him?
767
01:24:45,193 --> 01:24:50,401
- Where is he coming from?
- Maybe he fell from the snow.
768
01:24:50,864 --> 01:24:54,913
- What's that peak over there?
- Which one? - That one.
769
01:24:55,030 --> 01:24:58,991
- It's the wisdom tooth.
- I didn't recognize it.
770
01:24:59,849 --> 01:25:04,140
I'll wait for you tonight to eat polenta.
771
01:25:04,558 --> 01:25:10,651
- What have you done? Did you hibernate?
- Yes, but I can already move one arm.
772
01:25:10,895 --> 01:25:14,507
- Did we meet before?
- No, but I know you.
773
01:25:14,680 --> 01:25:19,138
- Countess Serbelloni Mazzanti Vien
Dal Mare. - Then we know each other!
774
01:25:19,308 --> 01:25:22,600
She was the daughter of one of the
company's major shareholders.
775
01:25:22,661 --> 01:25:26,286
And he had had the honor
escort her to the train station...
776
01:25:26,523 --> 01:25:29,658
...like in a spy story.
777
01:25:30,296 --> 01:25:36,193
Run, I am here! Run!
Quick!
778
01:25:38,526 --> 01:25:43,610
- Tell me who's the murderer, at least!
- Ok, wait.
779
01:25:45,588 --> 01:25:53,505
- It's Vilan Chesserton Junior.
- What? - Vilan Chesserton Junior!
780
01:25:54,474 --> 01:25:58,735
- Who are you?
- Fantozzi, the guy from the spy story.
781
01:25:58,849 --> 01:26:04,735
- Sure! Fantozzi, how are you dear?
- I...
782
01:26:04,808 --> 01:26:08,444
Carboni, may I introduce you to
Countessa Serbelloni Mazzanti?
783
01:26:08,676 --> 01:26:12,645
Countessa, my pleasure.
We met before, didn't we?
784
01:26:12,823 --> 01:26:15,335
- Mauritius, Seychelles.
- Maybe.
785
01:26:15,416 --> 01:26:19,054
This is accountant Fantozzi.
786
01:26:20,449 --> 01:26:23,960
Tonight I'm cooking polenta,
I'll be waiting for you.
787
01:26:24,193 --> 01:26:28,735
- Sure, we'll be on time.
- Good.
788
01:26:28,808 --> 01:26:31,866
- Fantozzi, you can come too.
- Thanks.
789
01:26:32,442 --> 01:26:37,109
- Maybe later. - Alfonsina,
you are wonderful. - Hi, Gigio.
790
01:26:37,568 --> 01:26:39,401
Elena, how are you?
791
01:26:39,474 --> 01:26:44,345
- Hello! - Miss countess.
- How are you? - Fine, thanks.
792
01:26:44,516 --> 01:26:48,985
- This is my friend, countess Serbelloni.
- Miss Silvani.
793
01:26:49,068 --> 01:26:52,110
- He's Fantozzi, you already know him.
- My pleasure.
794
01:26:52,193 --> 01:26:54,860
After that awful diamond punch...
795
01:26:54,933 --> 01:26:59,818
..the countess introduced him
to a couple of friends.
796
01:26:59,901 --> 01:27:04,151
Miss Bolla, Mrs and Mrs Bertani,
Countess Ruffino,...
797
01:27:04,224 --> 01:27:08,776
..Miss Coronari, Baron Ricasoli,
Marquis AntĂnori...
798
01:27:08,860 --> 01:27:11,443
..and the MorettĂ's, the ones of the beer.
799
01:27:11,519 --> 01:27:15,438
Halfway through the round of introductions,
FantozzĂ was already drunk.
800
01:27:15,591 --> 01:27:18,923
- Engineer Riccadonna.
- Hello! - Fantozzi.
801
01:27:19,933 --> 01:27:24,860
- Martini and Rossi.
- Fantozzi!
802
01:27:25,141 --> 01:27:32,026
- Mr Campari and his girlfriend.
- Fantozzi. - Hi. - Zampozzi.
803
01:27:33,943 --> 01:27:36,735
And the daughter of Sambuca Molinari.
804
01:27:36,808 --> 01:27:41,651
- Something to drink?
- No, thanks, no more.
805
01:27:41,766 --> 01:27:44,235
- Maybe a small beer.
- A small one.
806
01:27:44,766 --> 01:27:48,235
- I'm coming! - Your beer.
- A small beer.
807
01:28:26,474 --> 01:28:29,276
Excuse me, I'll go out for a moment.
808
01:29:22,235 --> 01:29:26,318
Guys, the polenta is ready!
Ready!
809
01:29:26,443 --> 01:29:30,485
- Ready for the polenta!
- Fantozzi? - Fantozzi?
810
01:29:30,568 --> 01:29:35,068
- Do you want a fork? - No, I'm on a diet.
- She eats only if I feed her.
811
01:29:35,151 --> 01:29:37,818
But the polenta is compulsory.
812
01:29:38,235 --> 01:29:40,818
There are the sausages too!
813
01:29:44,724 --> 01:29:49,026
- What is it?
- Fantozzi. - Unbelievable
814
01:29:49,849 --> 01:29:56,943
- Look at that!
- I just wanted to make a joke!
815
01:30:01,349 --> 01:30:05,485
- He's so funny.
- He's also a skiing champion!
816
01:30:05,641 --> 01:30:09,110
- Really? - He was on the team!
- Really? - On the team!
817
01:30:09,907 --> 01:30:14,448
Good, tomorrow everybody goes
on "the big one" with the champion!
818
01:30:15,177 --> 01:30:18,052
No, I've already eaten, thanks.
819
01:30:18,200 --> 01:30:22,669
They rent flophouses
in the cellars of the Post Office.
820
01:30:23,044 --> 01:30:25,958
Miss Silvani slept
in the kitchen-toilet.
821
01:30:26,038 --> 01:30:30,131
Fantozzi shared a dramatic
wedding bed with CarbonĂ.
822
01:30:35,683 --> 01:30:38,817
Gangway! Gangway!
823
01:30:48,099 --> 01:30:51,526
Here's our champion!
824
01:30:52,474 --> 01:30:54,735
Hey!
825
01:30:55,235 --> 01:30:59,110
- How did you dress?
- He's beautiful!
826
01:30:59,808 --> 01:31:04,809
- Champion, shall we start the match?
- The snow is wonderful.
827
01:31:04,966 --> 01:31:08,716
- The slope is frozen.
Hang in here! - I'd rather walk.
828
01:31:08,776 --> 01:31:11,318
Are you crazy? It's 6km away.
829
01:31:16,735 --> 01:31:20,276
See you over there!
830
01:31:46,110 --> 01:31:49,651
- Shall we do the straight one?
- Yes, but that wall is scary.
831
01:31:49,974 --> 01:31:55,068
- Champion, how far can we go ahead?
- Let them go ahead.
832
01:31:55,141 --> 01:32:00,526
- Just count till.
- Ok. - Go!
833
01:32:02,266 --> 01:32:05,360
One, two, three, four, five...
834
01:32:09,151 --> 01:32:13,485
- Fantozzi, come on!
- Fantozzi, you can go down now!
835
01:32:14,068 --> 01:32:17,693
I'm coming, just finished counting!
836
01:32:18,141 --> 01:32:21,235
..97, 98, 99, 100...
837
01:32:24,380 --> 01:32:29,901
..103,104,105,106,107,108,109,... 110!
Ah!
838
01:32:35,068 --> 01:32:37,110
Go, you!
839
01:33:00,036 --> 01:33:02,078
Help!
840
01:33:02,985 --> 01:33:05,026
Gangway!
841
01:33:06,641 --> 01:33:08,901
- Come on!
- Accountant!
842
01:33:24,193 --> 01:33:26,235
Careful!
843
01:33:27,151 --> 01:33:29,193
Careful!
844
01:33:29,558 --> 01:33:31,610
Out of the way!
845
01:33:39,141 --> 01:33:41,526
Careful! I am sorry!
846
01:33:54,766 --> 01:33:59,193
- There!
- Help! - Careful!
847
01:33:59,849 --> 01:34:02,860
- Hands down!
- Let's roll in the mud!
848
01:34:14,068 --> 01:34:18,026
The other ones arrived
almost together.
849
01:34:18,110 --> 01:34:22,151
No sign of Fantozzi.
850
01:34:22,235 --> 01:34:27,026
After 1 hour and 30 minutes
a ski with a ski boot arrived.
851
01:34:28,693 --> 01:34:34,693
After 1 hour and 70 minutes, a pole
and a barrel of whisky.
852
01:34:39,724 --> 01:34:45,818
Then, a lock of hair, two molars,
and the forefinger of his hand.
853
01:34:45,891 --> 01:34:49,735
And finally, in an awful silence
of the deep night,...
854
01:34:49,808 --> 01:34:52,610
..FantozzĂ gliding like a lion's skin.
855
01:34:52,693 --> 01:34:57,360
He imagined himself captain Nobileone
in the hell of the North Pole.
856
01:34:57,433 --> 01:35:04,235
Titina? Has anybody seen my dog Titina?
857
01:35:04,318 --> 01:35:08,401
You, "marquise" Zappi,
did you see my dog?
858
01:35:08,485 --> 01:35:13,943
- She's in the red tent.
- Don't act like this, Fantozzi.
859
01:35:14,016 --> 01:35:20,318
- Have a drink. - Thanks Titina.
I am out of shape.
860
01:35:24,693 --> 01:35:30,026
When he awoke,
he was in the kitchen toilet.
861
01:35:32,985 --> 01:35:35,026
Slowly.
862
01:35:36,610 --> 01:35:40,110
Hey, you're making me fall.
863
01:35:46,651 --> 01:35:50,526
- Darling.
- My love.
864
01:35:59,068 --> 01:36:03,901
FantozzĂ, reacting to that
declaration of love,...
865
01:36:03,974 --> 01:36:08,526
...asked and obtained a transfer
to another office.
866
01:36:12,184 --> 01:36:15,142
- Y 7.
- Water.
867
01:36:18,901 --> 01:36:22,401
Accountant! Fantozzi?
868
01:36:30,735 --> 01:36:34,360
Fate decided that he had to stay
in the room of a certain Folagra.
869
01:36:34,443 --> 01:36:38,193
The black sheep, or rather,
the red sheep of the company.
870
01:36:38,433 --> 01:36:42,068
He was an extreme left wing
intellectual.
871
01:36:42,151 --> 01:36:46,693
Who everybody, including Fantozzi,
had always avoided...
872
01:36:46,766 --> 01:36:51,443
...for fear of being compromised
in the managers' unforgiving eyes.
873
01:37:13,974 --> 01:37:18,526
But because of his contact with Folagra...
874
01:37:18,610 --> 01:37:22,943
...Fantozzi found a new reason to live:
politics.
875
01:37:24,016 --> 01:37:27,110
..and counter-revolution,
I don't know if you understand.
876
01:37:28,266 --> 01:37:34,360
And with the formation of natural groups,
I don't know if you understand.
877
01:37:34,620 --> 01:37:40,755
In an urban collective place we must think
about bringing about a congestion...
878
01:37:41,974 --> 01:37:47,169
...profiting, but in a modest way.
879
01:37:48,308 --> 01:37:52,286
So, what shall we do?
We must destroy the top.
880
01:37:52,399 --> 01:37:54,440
Do you understand or not?
881
01:37:57,193 --> 01:38:02,485
- What are you doing? - I brought you
some food. - I'll eat later.
882
01:38:02,558 --> 01:38:07,151
I'll just have some milk, go to bed.
I must study.
883
01:38:07,235 --> 01:38:09,377
After three months of studying...
884
01:38:09,485 --> 01:38:14,568
..Fantozzi saw the truth,
and he got slightly upset, or actually...
885
01:38:14,651 --> 01:38:16,994
..he got really angry.
886
01:38:17,124 --> 01:38:19,295
They cheated me!
887
01:38:19,320 --> 01:38:23,789
- Who?
- The bourgeoisie, the multinationals!
888
01:38:25,013 --> 01:38:29,270
They wanted me to believe that
I had a job because they were nice people.
889
01:38:29,333 --> 01:38:33,276
- Please, Ugo.
- Compliant and grateful? No way!
890
01:38:34,568 --> 01:38:39,193
One morning he entered the office
with long hair,...
891
01:38:39,349 --> 01:38:41,401
..and a mysterious pack.
892
01:38:54,766 --> 01:38:58,360
Cowards!
You are all against me!
893
01:39:03,266 --> 01:39:06,190
What have I done to you?
Twenty years of my life!
894
01:39:06,308 --> 01:39:09,440
I'll show you!
895
01:39:16,784 --> 01:39:18,836
Come down!
896
01:39:27,807 --> 01:39:30,141
You did it, didn't you, Fantozzi?
897
01:39:32,567 --> 01:39:34,112
Come.
898
01:39:34,786 --> 01:39:38,994
That was the Galactic Director
himself.
899
01:39:39,824 --> 01:39:45,501
The one that no employee
has ever seen.
900
01:39:46,119 --> 01:39:50,167
In fact, it was rumored
that he didn't even exist.
901
01:39:50,315 --> 01:39:54,867
That he was not human,
but an abstract entity.
902
01:40:04,526 --> 01:40:09,735
Around the 19th floor he had
a monstrous hallucination.
903
01:40:12,485 --> 01:40:15,985
Of being crucified in the lunchroom.
904
01:41:18,888 --> 01:41:25,401
Excuse me,... is this...
is this your room?
905
01:41:25,485 --> 01:41:28,934
- Sure.
- What about the 100 rubber plants?
906
01:41:28,985 --> 01:41:31,360
And the chairs made of human skin?
907
01:41:31,385 --> 01:41:35,333
The big aquarium where the luckiest
employees can swim in?
908
01:41:36,122 --> 01:41:41,591
Just rumors, dear Fantozzi,
to create subversive propaganda.
909
01:41:43,802 --> 01:41:50,169
- Please, sit down.
- Where shall we go...?
910
01:41:50,526 --> 01:41:56,276
- Sit down, here.
- Here? In your chair? - Sure.
911
01:41:56,566 --> 01:41:59,997
Some water? A piece of bread?
912
01:42:00,158 --> 01:42:05,408
- Can I eat it together with you?
- Sure.
913
01:42:05,524 --> 01:42:09,024
- What's the difference between you and me?
- There is.
914
01:42:09,098 --> 01:42:11,012
What do you mean by difference?
915
01:42:11,051 --> 01:42:14,833
Surely you're not telling me
that we are equal?
916
01:42:15,552 --> 01:42:19,568
You are the masters, the slavers.
We are the starving ones!
917
01:42:19,651 --> 01:42:25,276
Dear Fantozzi, it's just a matter
of words, of understanding.
918
01:42:25,349 --> 01:42:28,520
You say masters,
and I say employers.
919
01:42:28,609 --> 01:42:32,817
You say slavers,
and I say wealthy.
920
01:42:33,276 --> 01:42:36,776
You say starvers,
and I say lower class.
921
01:42:37,091 --> 01:42:41,692
- But for the rest, I think the same way as you do.
- What?
922
01:42:41,763 --> 01:42:44,372
I am an enlightened man, like yourself.
923
01:42:44,445 --> 01:42:48,427
And I am convinced that in this world
there are many iniquities to cure.
924
01:42:48,543 --> 01:42:55,325
I think the same way as you do,
and the same way Mr Folagra does.
925
01:42:56,122 --> 01:42:59,770
But excuse me, Sir...
926
01:43:00,387 --> 01:43:04,919
You're not going to tell me that you are
a communist?
927
01:43:10,684 --> 01:43:14,810
Well, not exactly a communist.
928
01:43:14,899 --> 01:43:19,243
I am a moderate progressive.
929
01:43:21,258 --> 01:43:23,868
But what do you plan to do
about all these grievances...
930
01:43:24,079 --> 01:43:28,401
..and all these injustices?
931
01:43:29,231 --> 01:43:33,231
Well, this would require...
932
01:43:34,008 --> 01:43:38,680
..that for every single problem,
all the men of good will,...
933
01:43:38,730 --> 01:43:43,365
...men like you and me, start to...
934
01:43:43,657 --> 01:43:45,696
- Please, sit down.
- Here, may I?
935
01:43:45,737 --> 01:43:51,133
They would need to start to meet
together without any violence and talk.
936
01:43:51,833 --> 01:43:54,916
Until we reach an agreement.
937
01:43:55,724 --> 01:44:00,922
But, excuse me, Your Holiness,
this way will take at least 1000 years.
938
01:44:01,039 --> 01:44:04,258
I can wait.
939
01:44:06,041 --> 01:44:08,083
Thanks.
940
01:44:08,860 --> 01:44:14,526
So, the only missing thing would be
the chair made of human skin.
941
01:44:18,871 --> 01:44:20,540
It does exist?!
942
01:44:25,188 --> 01:44:29,094
- Human skin. - Yes.
- Accountant Fonelli...
943
01:44:29,258 --> 01:44:31,086
I recognize him!
944
01:44:32,601 --> 01:44:37,778
Nice. What about the aquarium
of the employees?
945
01:44:42,742 --> 01:44:48,627
It does exist! The aquarium!
Wonderful.
946
01:44:49,683 --> 01:44:56,167
What a show! Here's Miss Perissi.
And mechanic Mr Molli.
947
01:44:57,984 --> 01:45:02,442
And the janitor Tritti, chosen.
And accountant Bulzoni.
948
01:45:05,080 --> 01:45:11,372
As I can see, Your Holiness,
you don't have the mullet.
949
01:45:12,637 --> 01:45:15,095
May I have the honor?
950
01:45:15,867 --> 01:45:20,533
Alright, you may.
951
01:45:22,857 --> 01:45:28,325
- Thanks. - But be always,
respectful and faithful.
952
01:45:28,596 --> 01:45:30,638
I will, your almighty.
953
01:45:58,318 --> 01:46:01,610
Accountant Fantozzi Ugo,
ID 7820l8-a.
954
01:46:02,849 --> 01:46:05,568
From the Accidents Department.
76763
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