Original subtitles

Grab onto that chain. That's it.

Lean back and you can get onto that beam.

Are you sure it's safe?

Course it's safe.

Mind the scythes.

METAL CLANGS AND CRASHES

That's it.

Out along the beam there.

Watch this bit, there's spikes underneath.

Right! Now, can you see them?

It's too dark.

Here.

Ow! Ow! Have a look up the back there.

Yeah, I think these are beehives.

See if you can pull one free.

INDIGNANT SQUEAK HE YELLS

Got it?

Pull it out towards the edge.

What is going on? Come down from there at once!

What?Get down!

Henry, what are you thinking of?

It's dangerous.

Look at all this stuff.

Why do you even have bear traps? We don't have bears.

Not any more.

Look at the state of you.

I came out specifically to tell you not to get dirty

because I've said you'll go to tea today with

Lady Bloomsbury Barton at Bloomsbury Barton Manor.

Sorry, what, pardon?You heard me, and you should be very honoured,

very grateful to be invited.

Who's Lady Blooms...er...?

Lady Bloomsbury Barton owns all the land around here.

We're her tenants and she's asked to meet you.

She hosts an annual charity garden party at the manor.

Whenever we have foster children to stay here at Scatterbrook

she likes to get them involved.

Oh, my gosh! That sounds rubbish!

Nonsense. It'll do you good.

He's not here.

I wanted to show Worzel my binoculars.

They're going to blow his mind!

Mr Braithewaite must have moved him to another field.

He wouldn't stay in another field.

He'd march straight back to Ten Acre.

Hold on. There he is! Let's go.

Hey, Worzel! It's us! It's all right! It's us!

Worzel!

How-do, chillens? Lovely day.

I got these.

You look through them and they make far away objects look up close.

Binoculars you mean?

Oh.

I'm a scarecrow not a caveman.

I knows what binoculars are.

What's been happening, Worzel? Scared many crows lately?

All crows scared what needs to be scared.

I sometimes think I'm too good at my job.

The wise ones don't even come close to Ten Acre Field no more.

Fact, I been thinking of getting another job on the side.

Oh, yeah? What sort of thing?

Bit of part-time modelling. Ha!Rude.

You mean making models? Like model aeroplanes?

No, actually, wise guy, I mean proper modelling on the cat-walk.

Look.

"Garden Party Fund Raiser, Saturday 21st at Bloomsbury Barton Manor...

Read on! Read on!

"Raffle and tombolas.". Down a bit! Down a bit!

That bit.

"Scarecrow Competition, Prize for the best looking scarecrow".

Best looking scarecrow'.

It's got me written all over it.

Or I've got it written all over me.

That's where we're going now, for tea, with Lady Something-Or-Other.

You're going for tea at the Big House?

Wait a minute!

Are...?A didididi...

Would...?Abububah!

The...Aaaaaaah!

I've just had THE most brilliant brainchild!

Ew!

YOU could take me up the manor and enter me for the competition!

But... we didn't really make you.

You didn't nearly make me. The Green Man made me.

But I can't just troll up there by myself

and say "put me down for the competition".

They'd have the screaming abdabs.

But if you won, we couldn't accept the prize.

You're not getting the prize, I am.

What IS the prize? Don't know, don't care!

You may not have heard, but scarecrows is mad for prizes!

Crazy for 'em.

Whatever that prize is, I wants it!

I don't know, Worzel. Are you sure this is a good idea?

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, I'm up for it.

One.

Go on, then.Two! Excellent.

And if the prize is something shareable,

like biscuits, or a cake...

..you're not having none!

Deal.Let's get up there now.

I'll go into a sulk and you can carry me.

How far is it?

About a mile or so yonder.

Well, then, you can walk with us

and we'll carry you when we get there.

Darn it!

Thought I might get a free carry all the way.

How's your pet robin?

Winter George? He's nobody's pet!

I shouldn't let him hear you calling him that.

He barely tolerates me!

'Ere, I'll give him a call.

HE CHATTERS IN BIRDSONG

Here he comes.

Oh!

Ha-ha! Look at him! He's had a shower.

He thinks he looks all handsome, like Mr Darcy!

You're just a ragged robin, my friend!

We're on up to the big house. I'm entering a modelling competition.

Gonna win a prize!

GEORGE CHATTERS PETULANTLY

Once again...

..rude.

Hang on! There's someone I wants to see.

Psst! Earthy! It's me, Worzel.

Hullo Worzel!

Is the coast clear? Any gardeners about?

Not yet! All safe.

You remember Earthy Mangold?

Yes. Hello.

What's new, Earthy?

The buds on the blackthorn, the spiders' webs.

And what's old?The chalk, the church, the songs of the birds.

Perfick. Guess where we're off to?

Where?We're on up to the big house.

I'm entering a modelling competition.

Oh, Worzel! Do be careful.

Are you sure that's wise?

That's what I said.

You can't go round fraternising with 'umans,

present company expected.

There's rules, Worzel.

I'd hate to hear you'd been found out and got dismantled.

Ha! Dismantled! Thing you got to remember about 'umans

is they only sees what they wants to see.

Their brains isn't big enough

to understand walking, talking scarecrows.

I'm practically invisible to 'umans.

Er... Hello?

Not to these two, obviously, but they're young uns.

Their brains haven't fully developed yet, no offence.

Is there a prize? Certainly is.

Big one, as well, probbly.

I'll bring it by and show you if it's not too big.

Cheerio, then! Mind how you go.

Be careful, Worzel!

I mean it.

Don't worry about me.

I'm a very shrewd scarecrow.

Worzel! I'm caught!

Come here. What?

You were being very showy-offy back there.

"Showy-offy" isn't a word.

Vain, then. Boastful.

Somebody's swallowed a thesaurus.

Big-headed.

You too, huh?

You were acting like you've already won.

WORZEL BLOWS A RASPBERRY What was that?

BLOWS ANOTHER RASPERRY And again.

I hope you don't have to eat humble pie.Oh!

Will there be pie?

I quite fancy a bit of pie.

JAW HARP SPRINGS

Come on! You'd better start sulking before anyone sees you.

We'll carry you from here.

Hang on a sec. Some scarecrows there already!

Do you recognise any of 'em?

Can't see from here.

P'raps I should just take a closer look.

Check out the competition. See who I'm up against.

I don't think you should. Come on.

We'll creep around the rhodi-dum-dums, take a quick peek.

Here! Lend me your "magical eye tubes".

Don't recognise none of them.

They look like they been made by children!

Well, they probably have.

That one's called Scarecrow Sam!

What kind of a name is that? Couldn't scare a titmouse.

They're having a laugh.

Well, hello there!

Oh, hello.

I'm not going to have no trouble beating this lot.

I'm better looking than all of 'em. Gummidge...

I'll wear my "special occasions cravat" just to seal the deal.

Worzel...Clinch victory. Aargh!

Oh, how wonderful!

What a very clever costume!

You've dressed as a scarecrow!

Because of the scarecrow competition!

Haven't you?

Um.

Yes!

Yes. That's right. He has!

This is our friend, a man...

A man.

Yes.

..who has dressed as a scarecrow.

What a scream!

But you're two days early! The party's on Saturday!

Oh, yes, we know!

I'm Susan and this is my brother, John.

We're staying with the Braithewaites at Scatterbrook Farm.

Oh, my dears, you've come for tea!

I'd totally forgotten.

You're so very welcome, and you've brought a friend!

Yes.Whose name is...

Worzel Gummidge.

How unusual.

You can call me Worzel.

Or Gummidge.

Or Worzel Gummidge.

Delighted to meet you, Mr Gummidge.

Or Mr Gummidge.

Come on into the house,

and have some tea and I'll lay on a Battenberg.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Are you a scarecrow fan, Mr Gummidge?

You could say that, Your Ladyness.

I'm from the Scarecrow Appreciation Society.

The SAS?Exactly.

I'm not supposed to talk about it.

Fascinating.

Fascinating.

A nice cup of tea and a slice of cake, Mr Gummidge?

Not for me.

I will have a glass of milk though, if I may.

Fresh, is it?

Of course.

Could you pour it for me? I fear a spillage.

More than that. More than that.

Right up to the top.

More. More.

There we go! Ahh, cheers.

HE GLUGS RAPIDLY

TRICKLING

Ah! Good stuff.

GARGLING RUMBLE

Where do you live, Mr Gummidge?

In...

..doors?

In a house, you mean? In a house, yes. That's right.

Where is your house?

Well, I haven't brought it with me, have I?

I left it at home. I mean, where are you from?

Most of me is from right here in Scatterbrook.

Most of you?

Not my arms. My arms is new.

What happened to your old arms?

Fell off. Can we change the subject?

Yes, yes. Of course.

How long have you lived at Bloomsbury Barton Manor,

Lady Bloomsb...? Has somebody farted?

Seriously, has somebody guffed?

HE GROANS

Have you broken wind? Have you let one go?

Smells like someone's pushed down through poo.

Somebody's whispered a bum-secret?

Can I open the window?

Let some fresh air in?

HE GASPS

That's better.

Meaty one, that, wern it?

I reckon it was her! She's blushing.

Anyway let's forget it ever happened.

Soon as the air clears.

Do continue, M'lady.

I've lost my thread.

I'll find it.

He's an outdoors man.

Is that your thread? It's the only one down there.

You might want to think about getting a new one.

What a unique person you really are, Mr Gummidge.

Do say you'll come back again on Saturday for the party.

And do come in costume!

It'll make the day perfect!

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

It'll be your pleasure and privilege to have me there.

Scream!

There is just one thing, Your Grace,

when I win the competition,

will I be required to make a speech?

Win the competition?

Yes, and what's the prize?

Oh! You're joking!

You are funny.

Am I?

Of course YOU can't enter the competition, Mr Gummidge.

Can't enter?Of course not! It's a competition for home-made scarecrows,

not "real" scarecrows.

And anyway, you're far too good-looking.

Nobody else would stand a chance!

Don't worry. If you turn up in costume on the day,

I'll buy you a raffle ticket.

You heard her! "Too good-looking" she said.

"Nobody else would stand a chance".

Yeah, all right, Worzel.

You wait till I tell Earthy.

And a prize just for showing up.

She said she'd buy you a raffle ticket.

I know! My very own raffle ticket.

And me in the Big House!

Who'd've thought I'd actually get to go inside the Big House?

Well, I'm glad you've had a good day, Worzel.

Why, thank you.See you tomorrow?

Indubitably. Cheerio.

Hello.

Nice weather.

Are you from Scatterbrook?

Haven't seen you before.

Hello?

Morning, Mr B.

Look at all this rubbish left up on the track.

Nothing to do with you two, is it?No.

Didn't think it could be.

And gates left open up there too.

Have we had trespassers in the night?Seems like it.

You didn't see anybody hanging around yesterday, did you?

Actually, there was an old bloke up the lane when we were coming home.

Oh, yeah. He was weird.

Yes?

Describe him.

Well, he was old... Had a big beard.

Ragged clothes, tied with rope...

..with leaves and twigs in them.

Did he have a pack on his back?

Yes! A massive one.

That sounds like old Jack Woodwose!

You hear that, Reenie? Sounds like Mr Woodwose is back.

No! He can't still be around!

Kids seen someone sounds just like him.

Where was he?

On the track up Ten Acre Field.

Right, well...

Let's go see if we can find him.

He's a hedge-layer.

Travels around the county, always on foot, repairs old hedges

and lays new ones.

Turns up once every few years, but never takes any payment.

Er... He's a strange old fella.

Thinks he's invisible.

Well, I'll be...

There he is.

Mr Woodwose!

I see you there.

There you are.

Standing here, next to this hedge that presumably is your handiwork?

Beautiful work, Jack.

Been meaning to do this for a couple of years.

I don't understand.

What's he doing? Chopping it down?

No, no. Look! Come here.

He hasn't cut them right through, just halfway.

That way, they'll carry on growing together

to make a fence that will only keep getting stronger and never rot.

Ooh, I made this up for you!

A few sandwiches and bits.

Right, well, I'd best be off.

Someone keeps taking that old scarecrow from Ten Acre Field.

I've got to find him and fix him to his stake.

Couple of nails should do it.

No!

No!What's that?

He wouldn't want to...

I don't think he should be...

Sorry, "he"?

It's a scarecrow, not a person.

I know! Exactly! And scarecrows need to move, don't they?

To scare the birds.

Yeah. If he was fixed to his post

he wouldn't be able to swing around in the wind.

It.It.

Come on, then. I'll give you a lift back.

We'll go and look for Worz...

That scarecrow.

All right. Well, keep an eye out for those trespassers!

Oh and, er... shut any gates that you see open.

Cheerio, Jack!

Where will Worzel be if he's not in Ten Acre?

At the allotments telling Earthy Mangold how great he is.

And she turned to me, with tears in her eyes,

and she said, "Oh, Mr Gummidge!"

Yeah, "Oh, Mr Gummidge", she said,

"It wouldn't be fair. You're too good-looking".

I said, "Fair enough".

I can't believe you went inside the big house.

Oh, yes. Just went right on in through the door.

Do it again! Do going through a door.

Push or pull?Push!

"Hello, there!" It was easy, really. Just went right on through.

Indoors to a room.

Sat down at a table.

On a chair? You're hop-dang right on a chair.

Just sat right down on it, no trouble at all.

Hey, Worzel!

How do? I was just telling Earthy how great I am.

You don't say.

Sorry, Earthy. He's a massive show-off.

I don't mind. It's exciting to hear stories of indoors.

Do the door thing one more time! But this time... pull!

You have to imagine the walls and the...

What's it called? The lid.

Ceiling.Ceiling.

You have to imagine all that.

"How do you do?"

Worzel, the farmer's noticed that you're not in your field.

He's out looking for you! You'd better get back.

Toodle-pip, scarecrow!

Bye, Worzel.

Bye, chillens.

Look at this! Who's done this?

The farmer found a load as well.

He said there must have been trespassers in the night.

Trespassers, eh? Don't like the sound of that one little bit.

Did he get a look at them?

Don't know. Why? Do you know who it is?

Gates left open?

Yes! That as well.

Who is it?

Are they scarecrows?

If you can call 'em that.

There's this travelling band what fancy themselves as a biker gang,

led by Soggy Bogart.

Now there's a proper show-off.

I don't reckon he's scared a crow in years.

That sounds terrifying. Scarecrows on motorbikes?

Oh, they don't have bikes.

None of them have never even sat on a motorbike. They just pretend.

Anyway, I'm not scared of Soggy Bogart.

I remember when he was a young'un before he went off the rails.

He used to wear teddy-bear pyjamas.

What is it?

It's them.

Go stand over there.

Put your arms out.

REVELLING AND CHEERING

IMITATES MOTORBIKE ENGINES REVVING

Well, well, well.

Well. Look who it isn't.

Worzel Gummidge.

Or should I say...

Worzel Bum-idge.

And what have we here? New scarecrows in town?

Not very scary, are you?

How-do, Soggy?

Don't call me Soggy! No-one calls me that no more.

Why not? That's your name, ain't it?

Soggy Bogart.

Not no more! I changed it.

To what?

Harley Davidson.

Pah! Right.

You still up Ten Acre Field then?

Oh, aye, s'where I belongs.

Won't catch me standing still.

I's gotta keep movin'!

Keep right on movin' on.

Right, gang? Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, keep movin' on, yeah.

Right, well, if you're ever moving past Ten Acre Field,

nick over for a cup of splosh.

What, tea? No, thanks!

We drinks fizzy drinks. Right, gang?

Yeah, fizzy drinks.

Yeah. With sugar in.

Oh, well, I haven't got no fizzy drinks

but you're welcome up Ten Acre anyway.

Tea's for old ladies.

CRUEL LAUGHTER

Here, Soggy!

You still got them teddy-bear pyjamas?

The name's Harley Davidson.

And I only wore those pyjamas for one summer.

And they weren't

teddy bears!

What were they?

Just bears.

What you lot doing here anyway?

Heard there was a competition.

Not heard of no competition.

What? Funny that, what with it being on your manor an' all.

Says here, "prize for the winner".

Aye, for fake scarecrows, home-made ones.

So you have heard of it?

Heard of that one, yeah, but as I say,

it's not for the likes of us real scarecrows.

Who's to know? We'll just place ourselves amongst the fake ones.

Pah, what even is the prize? Tin of shortbread?

You mean you ain't heard?

Heard what?

Prize is a trophy.

Silver trophy.

Is it?

Yeah! And you got to be in it to win it.

Oh!

I'm a poet, and I didn't even realise that I am one.

Right, gang? Yeah, didn't realise he was.

Didn't have a clue.

Smell ya later, Bummidge.

REVVING AND SHOUTING

Muddy boots! He's going to win it, isn't he?

A silver trophy!

I thought he was horrible and mean.

Yes, but you got to admit, he looks a million dollars.

You think?

A silver trophy! It's not fair.

Forget about it, Worzel.

Yeah, come on, it's only a glorified beauty pageant. Who cares?

Harrumph.

Did you just say "harrumph"?

I most certainly did! Mumble, grumble.

We'll come by tomorrow and pick you up on the way.

Can if you like. I'm not even bothered. Mumble, grumble.

See you, then. Try and cheer up.

What? There's nothing even wrong. Mumble, grumble, grumble.

MUTTERS AND GRUMPS TO HIMSELF

What about me? Stupid.

Mumble grumble!

Who's that grumbling?

Who's there?

I can hear someone mumbling and grumbling.

That's me, Worzel Gummidge, the Scarecrow of Scatterbrook.

What have you got to grumble about?

Lots! And you're not helping by hiding while you're talking to me.

So show your fizzog!

I'm right here.

Oh, hello, Mr Green Man, sir.

I didn't mean to be rude.

Why were you grumbling?

Oh, nothin'.

My shoulder.

What's wrong with your shoulder?

It's not very stiff and it hardly even creaks when I move it.

How far can you lift it?

All the way up.

Hmm, that's no good. I'll see if I can, agh!

I'll try and stiffen it up a bit.

Thank you, Mr Green Man, Sir.

I didn't mean to be rude, sir. I didn't realise it was you.

Then why did you answer me?

Huh?

If you didn't know who was addressing you, why did you answer?

You're not supposed to talk to humans, Worzel.

I...

I thought you was a scarecrow.

And the children?

You thought they were scarecrows too?

Matter of fact I did when I first met them.

How did you know about the children?

How could I not know? A thousand little birds told me!

A million leaves whispered it on a million breezes.

How could I not find out? Hmm? Nature loves to gossip.

But they're good kids! They are almost like scarecrows.

And the lady at the Big House?

You've been breaking the rules, Worzel.

I've had a complaint.

About me? Who from?

The farmer.

He says you've been going abroad.

Abroad? Oh, you mean in the old-fashioned sense

like "away from home" not "Tenerife".

Concentrate, scarecrow!Sorry.

The farmer wants to fix you to your stake.

Oh, please don't, sir! I don't know as I could stand it.

I needs to move in order to do my job proper!

And does that job involve going for tea up at the Big House?

I'm not going to fix you to your stake this time, Worzel,

but I want your word.

You are to stay here, in Ten Acre Field, and scare crows.

But...No buts.

You have a job to do. And a very important job it is too.

Do you hear me? And no more speaking to humans.

But...Worzel!

No good will come of you speaking to those children.

They're young enough now that they'll forget about you

and imagine it was all a dream.

There. Try your shoulder now.

That's a bit better.

Bit better? I think so, yes. Thank you.

Worzel!

What's up? It's us.

We're heading down to the Manor today. Remember?

The Big House? For the garden party.

Don't sulk, Worzel, please.

Are you worried about being seen?

If you button yourself up people will think

you're in costume like Lady Thingy did.

Or is it that you don't want to see someone else win the trophy?

Please, Gummidge! You won't get your raffle ticket if you don't go.

Come on. Let's leave him.

We'll come back later.

No! I want to know why he's not talking to us!

We'll come back later, John.

Give him time to cheer up.

MUSIC: English Country Garden by Jimmie Rodgers (Instrumental)

Is Mr Gummidge with you? Um, no, he was...

Sulking.

He was feeling unwell.

Oh, poor thing. What a shame!

I was going to ask him to judge the competition for me.

You were going to ask Worzel to judge the competition?

What with him being such an expert. Do you think he would have agreed?

He would have LOVED that. Oh, my God.

Well, you'd better take his raffle tickets

and maybe you can help me choose a winner, hmm?

Come along.

Oh, this is a fun one!

Oh, it is, isn't it? Really, really fun.

Well done. What's his name?

Scarecrow Sam.Scarecrow Sam!

How did you come up with that name?

What a very, very good name.

This one's a contender. Mark this one down as a contender.

Ooh, terrifying! Look at this one.

Nice use of a football for a head.

Look at the way its eyes seem to follow you around.

Very scary.

Now, this is one of the strange creations

that turned up in the night.

Oh, dear.Oh, dear, oh, dear.

What's its name? Is it Harvey?

Harley?

Looks like...Soggy.

Soggy Bogart?

Well, I don't like it.

What would Mr Gummidge say?

"Utter Shambles."

"Couldn't scare a meadow pipit".

Next.

Oh, sorry, I didn't realise these were supposed to be scarecrows.

I thought somebody had dropped some rubbish.Next!

Oh, look at this one - Scarecrow Simon!

How simply terrific and marvellous.

HE GROWLS

Thank you to Mike and Jenny from the Raptor Centre

for their wonderful falconry display earlier.

And if you could all keep an eye out for a...

What was it? White-tailed eagle.

A white-tailed eagle.

And probably best to keep pets and babies indoors

until it's safely recaptured.

Thank you, everyone, for making scarecrows

for the scarecrow competition.

I hope you've all had a jolly good chance to look at them.

And have we decided upon a winner?

We've decided that the best looking scarecrow...

..and by far the most scary...

..the one with the coolest name... ..is...

BOTH: ..Scarecrow Sam.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

CHEESE!

Now, it just remains for us to draw the raffle.

Has everybody got their tickets ready?

It's a pink ticket, number four-four-one.

Yes! Four-four-one!

Oh, well done! Well done.

First choice of anything on the prize table.

Look Worzel, a whole book of raffle tickets!

I chose it for you.

It wasn't even supposed to be a prize.

They left it on the prize table by mistake.

Look at all the colours!

It was hilarious. She asked us to judge the competition!

Guess who we chose as the winner?

You'd have been proud of us! Guess who we chose?

Still not talking, huh?

I don't get it! What have we done?

HORN BLARES

Here.

You can look at it when we've gone.

You kids seen my cows?

No. What's happened?

Gates left open! They've wandered off! The entire dairy herd!

Don't know what direction they went.

I'm going to look down the lane.

Could you head on over the hill and see if they're up at Church Farm?

Yeah, we'll go now.

It's Soggy and the Trubblemakers.

Should have known they wouldn't just disappear!

We humiliated them back there at the manor.

They're going to want revenge.

DISTANT JEERS AND SHOUTING

PRETEND MOTORBIKE REVVING

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

"Utter shambles", am I?

"Couldn't scare a meadow-pipit", huh?

Get lost, Soggy. You're not allowed to speak to humans.

It's against the rules.

Rules, shmules! Right, lads?

Yeah, shmules!

I ain't scared of YOUS!

What have you done with Mr Braithewaite's cows?

What have you done with my trophy?

It's not YOUR trophy. You didn't win.

ROBIN TWITTERS URGENTLY

What's that? What you saying?

Stop shouting in my ear!

Slow down, I can't understand you!

URGENT PEEPING

The kiddos? Where?

TWITTERS RAPIDLY

But I aren't supposed to talk to them no more.

The Green Man said so.

RAPID TWEETING AND FLITTING

You're right.

Good guff, you're right!

What am I doing wasting time?

THUNDER RUMBLES

Where's...My...TROPHY?

We.

Don't.

Have it!

Not my problay-mo.

Hand it over! How can we if we haven't got it?

Like I said, not my problay-mo.

Comprendee?

Here I come!

Ooft!

MOCKING LAUGHTER

Stop laughing, you bully!

Are you all right, Worzel?

Yeah!

Went down on me face.

I've come to rescue you.

Hear that, lads?

Bummidge here thinks he's Luke Skywalker!

Pah!

Don't you "Pah" me.

I'll "Pah" whosoever I like.

Pff!Did you just "Pff" me?

What if I did?

I'll pull your head off.

I'll just put it back on again.

Not before we've played skittles with it.

You bounder!

What will you use for skittles?

Never mind what we'll use for skittles.

We'll find something.

You'll never find ten things the same size

and shape to use as skittles around here.

Oh, yes we will, and we'll knock 'em over

by rolling your head in them!

Stop arguing!

I want my trophy!

You let us go, Soggy!

Worzel?

Is that you?

Are you there?

Oh!

There you are! I came to find you.

Oh, hello, everyone!

Well, now. Who have we here?

How-do, my pretty?

I'm warning you, Soggy!

The name's Harley Davidson

and I'll thank you to remember it!

Soggy?

Soggy Bogart? Is that you?

It IS you.

Soggy Bogart!

I used to baby-sit for you when you were a baby scarecrow.

Don't you remember me?

Hello, Miss Mangold.

I used to tuck you in and tell you a bedtime story, didn't I?

Yes.You had a favourite one that you always asked me to tell,

about a teddy bear, I think.

SMIRKING GIGGLES

Over and over again, you wanted that story.

Teddy Bodkin.

Teddy Bodkin!

And your favourite Teddy Bodkin pyjamas.

How is your mother?

She's very well, thank you, Miss Mangold.Is she?

And how do you think she'll be

when she finds out what you've been up to?

Don't know.I do.

She'll be very upset.

She'll be disappointed with you, won't she?Yes.

Yes.Please don't tell her, Miss Mangold.

Speak up.

Please don't tell her, Miss Mangold.

And I don't know what you scarecrows are sniggering about.

I know most of your mothers too.

Oswald Pollypop, don't think I didn't notice you skulking

back there,

and you, Jackie Pudding.

What would your mothers say?

Don't know, Miss Mangold.

What are you going to do about it, Jackie Pudding?

Bring the cows back.

I think you need to, before evening milking.

Where are they?

In the bottom meadow, but...

But what?

It was Jackie Pudding's idea.

She found a pot of paint.

It was your idea to do swears!

Swears?!

Swear words?

He made us paint swears!

On what?

COW MOOS IN DISTANCE

CHORUS OF MOOING AND LOWING

Ohh, Soggy.

What have you done?!

Look!

"BURP".

I saw that one.

Very rude.

I done that one. Sorry.

"SHUT UP".

"CUD MUNCHER".

I should never have wrote that. It's a terrible thing to call a cow.

HE GASPS

"Pat factory".

Poor animal.

And over there... "Leather milk balloon." Dreadful!

Look at that one.

GALES OF LAUGHTER

Well, I'm surprised at you.

You find that kind of filth and potty-talk amusing, do you?

I don't see what's funny about writing "UDDERS"

and an arrow, on a cow.

HUGE GUFFAWS

We all know where the udders are!

"I LIKE GRASS"!

Well, I hate to spoil the great big, funny joke,

but isn't it getting close to evening milking time?

Oh, God! He's right. How are we going to clean the cows?

I know! Follow me!

GIGGLING AND CACKLING

They're not a bad lot really, are they?

It's just a phase.

I had a phase once.

I remember it clearly.

Where will they go now?

I'm going to invite them all back to live in the allotments.

There's plenty of patches need protecting,

and I can keep an eye on them.

Good idea. Get 'em back to basics.

We better get these cows back up the hill.

Thanks for everything, Earthy. You saved the day.

We better leave you here.

See you tomorrow?

What is it, Worzel?

I'll say goodbye.

Don't worry, that's the hedgelayer.

That's old Mr Woodwose. He's harmless.

I'll say goodbye.

You mean goodnight?

We'll see you tomorrow, won't we?

Ouch! Mind out for splinters.

Off you pop, then.

Worzel, what have you got to say for yourself?

It's hard to come up with something on the spot, sir.

You gave me your word. You said you would stay in Ten Acre Field

and you wouldn't talk to humans.

Sir, I'll never leave Ten Acre Field again, if that's what you wants.

You can nail me to the stake and set it in concrete,

but please don't stop me talking to those chillens.

They're...

..important.

They're children!

Exactly.

They're the future.

Come, Worzel.

Let's go for a walk.

Of all the scarecrows I ever made

there's not been one as good at their job as you.

Oh, thank you, sir.

And not one of them has caused me half as much trouble.

I've never known a scarecrow so quick to break the rules.

I can't help myself sometimes.

Everything's all so exciting.

You're a free spirit, Worzel.

That's my fault, because I made you,

but you can't go gallivanting across the countryside

at the drop of a hat.

You've got a job to do.

I loves scaring crows, sir, I do

but I get distracted

and before I know it, I've wandered off

and started poking my nose in where I think it might be wanted.

You are much more than a scarer of crows.

You are my eyes and ears out here in the fields.

I need you to watch out. Spot the changes.

But talking to humans is not allowed.

That's the way it's always been.

Does it mean it has to always be?

I mean...

..ways can change, can't they?

You remember not long back when the redcoats on the horses chased

the foxes all over the county?

They said "it's the way it's always been".

But eventually,

they realised it was old-fashioned and cruel

and now they don't do it no more.

But what good can come of talking to them?

Because 'umans and Nature need to work together.

Like you laying the hedges.

Now's not the time for not talking.

The chillens learned me that when The Tree of Tree was sick.

"Speak to the crows", they said.

"Make a deal."

And it was hard, but they was right.

And you think humans is ready to discover

that scarecrows can come alive and walk and talk?

Not all of them, no.

But what if there were some special ones, like my friends,

what could see things that the others can't?

I'm worried, sir.

I'm worried about the weather and the seasons,

and all the plastic everywhere.

I's worried about the hedges and the ditches,

and the bees and the flowers.

They're all having a tough time of it, sir.

You think two children could turn it all around?

Well...

They'll do their bit and spread the word.

And little by little, we'll get things back on track.

You're not as silly as you look, are you, Worzel?

To be fair, sir, it would be difficult.

What did I make your brains out of? Can you remember?

Conkers, sir. Conkers, that's right!

Well, those conkers serve you well.

Come on, Worzel. Let's get you home.

Sir?

Maybe it wouldn't be so against the rules

if we was to make them honorororary scarecrows?

How would you do that?

By giving them scarecrow names.

See, they got these peculiar human names

but if I could call them by their scarecrow names

it would make more official.

What would their names be?

Well, Susan would be Soopie Lupinstraw,

and John would be Johnny-John Barleyjohn.

Of course.

Maybe that's the answer.

You think it could be?

I think you might be right about those children.

There's something special about them.

But you won't go just talking to anyone willy-nilly.

Copy that.

No posh ladies in big old houses.

Ten four.

Go well, then, Worzel Gummidge.

Guardian of the Levels,

Sentinel of the Seasons,

Scarecrow of Scatterbrook.

..And once the Blossom Fairy had fluttered away...

..Teddy Bodkin decided it was time for all the other toys to go to bed.

Night, night, toys!

Night, night, Teddy Bodkin.

Night, night.

Night, night, toys.

Night, night...

..Teddy Bodkin.

Hey! Off you go, now.

Come on. Come on, girls. Hey!

# Oh, the sun shines bright # And the corn grows high

# And the crows are gathering in the sky

# And the scarecrow sees

# And the scarecrow knows

# How the seasons change and the seasons roll

# Oh, scare 'em, scare 'em,

# Don't you know?