Original subtitles

(GIRL SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

What's he saying?

He said,

"May their lives flow together in peace and happiness toward the great sea. "

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

For the ceremony of the bowl, I choose my friend, the friend of all my friends.

I choose the haole.

ALL: Haole! Haole!

"In peace and happiness toward the great sea. "

Wafford, ain't that a pretty speech?

(WAFFORD SNORTING)

Oh, you ain't got no sentiment!

You'll never be nothing but a pig as long as you live.

(BOTH SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

May you have as many years of happiness, as I can make pieces of this bowl.

(ALL SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

(SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

Well, what about it?

Let him sing at a native wedding if he likes.

Let him dance the hula if he feels like it.

But, Father, it isn't just today, we haven't seen him all week.

I don't care if I don't see him for months.

When Tony Marvin does come in, he brings an idea. Look at this.

"Pineapple Girl. " Pineapple Girl! Did you ever see such publicity?

(CHUCKLES)

And what about his idea of syndicating her impressions of the Islands?

Why, it's magnificent!

It may be,

but I still believe you're undermining the morale of our other employees

when you permit Tony Marvin to lie around on his boat like a beachcomber

and pay him for it.

Now, listen, Son. If I was 40 years younger,

and I could pull ideas out of the air like he does,

I'd live on a boat, too. And if I felt like it, by George, I'd dance the hula!

(IMITATING HAWAIIAN MUSIC)

Father.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Well, what is it?

Mr. Durkin and some gentlemen to see you, sir.

Yeah, send them in.

Durkin, that's great! Now we'll really hear something!

He's been with the girl all the morning.

John!

Gentlemen, I'm very pleased to see you!

And how is our little Pineapple Girl this morning, eh?

Well, that's what we came to talk to you about.

Well, what is it?

Well, the fact of the matter is, J.P.

the girl doesn't like it here.

She doesn't like it here?

Well, she must like it! Did you carry out my suggestion?

Sure.

We got her up at sunrise and showed her around the island,

the whole bunch of us.

I can't understand it. I can't understand it.

I'll get to the bottom of this myself.

We'll go to the hotel and I'll ask her point blank.

I'll say to her...

Miss Smith, do you think this is the way that a contest winner should behave?

Yes, Miss Smith, exactly what do you want?

Well, I want to go home.

Impossible!

Why do you want to go home?

Because I'm not having any fun.

You know, you promised the winner of your contest

three romantic weeks in Hawaii.

Well, I'm here and I'm not getting them.

Well, I can't understand it, Miss Smith.

Hawaii is the most romantic spot in the world.

And another thing, gentlemen.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to draw the line

at having my picture taken with that thing.

All we ask you to do is to step behind here

and have your picture taken,

like this.

My pal.

There's no use arguing, Miss Smith. You can't go home. It's out of the question.

But why? Your syndicated impressions of Hawaii

will be read by more than 50 million people.

If you tell them you don't like it here,

we may as well close up the Islands.

(WOMAN SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

Oh, boy, a party! Yeah, look at all the men.

(WHISTLING)

That's for me, kid.

Who are you?

Why, I'm Public Stenographer Number One!

Shall we start, Georgia? All right, Myrtle.

If you gentlemen will excuse me.

Start? Start what?

My impressions.

I have to finish the first installment.

Here.

Will you pardon me?

Oh, yes. Here's where we left off.

"To me, the place is just... Birch Falls with a lot of palm trees stuck in it. "

Well, what about your great-idea man now?

Where is he? Get him.

Get him? Try and find him.

Well, why isn't he at the office? Who does he think he is?

Fooling around the Islands, paying no attention to business.

I'll get him! I'll tell him!

Yeah, some people get ideas standing up, and some get them sitting down,

but I figure if we just get you a feather bed, we'd never have to work again.

Never? I tell you, Shad, a man has really got to relax

if he's gonna get a good idea.

TONY: Like the Pineapple Girl, huh?

Yeah, boy, I'll never forget the day that one floated in on you.

Man, that was a day.

By the way, I wonder what she looks like.

Well, I'm afraid I wouldn't know about that.

Probably looks like something you win at a shooting gallery, though.

Well, what's the difference? The only thing I care about is what she's done for us.

Why, that J.P. Todhunter, he don't know I'm alive.

That sweet old sour puss.

Why, hello, J.P.

We were... We were iust talking about you.

Yes! Your Pineapple Girl is going home.

What?

Well... She can't do that!

That's what I came to tell you.

Why, the publicity will ruin us!

Now, you've got to think of something to stop her.

(STAMMERING) Well, yes, we... Well, you...

Yes, and right now! That's what comes of leaving everything to you!

Since she got here you've done nothing!

You haven't even seen her.

Well, what about a suggestion from you or your intellectual playmate?

What is that?

Oh, that's Wafford, Mr. Todhunter.

Say hello to Mr. Todhunter, Wafford.

(WAFFORD SQUEALING)

If that pig says one word to me, I'll kick him off the boat!

Well, what about an idea? And let it be brilliant.

That's what I'm paying you for!

Oh, Mr. Todhunter,

now, you might laugh at me, but people are a whole lot like pigs.

Now, you take Wafford here, for instance.

Right now he's perfectly satisfied with my company,

but it's only a question of time till he's gonna start

craving the company of other pigs.

Now, that's the way I figure that girl.

She's starting to look for a little bit of romance.

She's beginning to squeal, and she's gonna keep right on squealing for romance

till somebody gives it to her.

(WAFFORD GRUNTING)

(STAMMERING) Well, yes. Well, we... You...

Well, come on boys, here we go. For romance

and Imperial Pineapples.

Let's go, huh?

K- O-K.

Bye, Myrtle.

Where you going?

Oh, I just thought I'd see if I can get this letter on the China Clipper.

K- O-K.

Hey, do you spell coconuts with two "K's" or one?

Oh, never mind.

(GROANING)

(YELLING)

(PLAYING ROMANTIC MUSIC)

Go on, sing!

(SINGING) N�ght and you

And blue Hawa��

The n�ght �s heavenly

And you are heaven to me

Oh, lovely you

And blue Hawa��

W�th all th�s lovel�ness

There should be love

Come w�th me

Wh�le the moon �s on the sea

The n�ght �s young

And so are we

Dreams come true

In blue Hawa��

And m�ne could all come true

Th�s mag�c n�ght of n�ghts w�th you

(SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

Are you sure we got the right bungalow?

Sure I'm sure.

Come w�th me

Wh�le the moon �s on the sea

The n�ght �s young

And so are we

Dreams come true

In blue Hawa��

And m�ne could all come true

Th�s mag�c n�ght of n�ghts

W�th you

Come on in, fellows. I mean, I'll be right out! I mean,

do you mean me?

Oh, boy! When those guitars go...

(IMITATING GUITAR)

I'm a gone woman!

I... That is, we, we were wondering what you were doing tonight.

Well, I was just working on the last installment, but that can wait.

We thought maybe you might like to go out some place?

Oh, boy!

(MIMICKING MYRTLE) "Oh boy!"

Did I bring that over here?

It's all right, boy, you stay right in there and pitch.

I'll be ready in a minute, honey.

We'll go down to the beach,

and every time a wave comes in...

Wow!

When's your birthday?

August 2nd.

That's for you.

Now, wait a minute!

Oh, boy!

Say, if you think that...

Hey!

Here I come!

Wow!

(HEEL BREAKING)

(HAMMER POUNDING)

I beg your pardon.

I beg your pardon!

Yeah?

May I borrow your hammer? My heel came off.

I guess so, yeah.

Thank you.

Here.

That's fine. There goes my hammer.

Do you know that's my case hammer?

What's the matter with you? You got butter fingers or something?

Well, I'm very sorry.

Well, being sorry ain't gonna get my hammer back.

How in the world do you think I'm gonna finish what I'm trying to do here?

Well, you needn't shout about it.

I'm not shouting at you!

Oh, I see.

Hey, wait a minute. I'll fix your heel for you.

Oh, I guess around the other way, huh?

Heist. Come on.

Well, give me the heel.

(SPUTTERING)

Did you hurt yourself?

Look at me! Look what you've done to me.

Well, I'm sorry. I was only trying to fix your...

Sorry? You deliberately pushed me into the water!

Why, don't be idiotic. I wouldn't...

Don't you dare call me an idiot!

I'm not calling you an idiot. I didn't mean to push you in the water.

Oh, yes, you did!

Oh, everything happens to me in this place, and I hate it!

I hate it! I want to get out of here tomorrow.

Well, why don't you go? There's nobody stopping you, are there?

No, nobody but the whole Imperial Pineapple Company!

Why should they stop you?

Because I'm their dear little Pineapple Girl, that's why.

Why, you can't be.

Oh, now I'm a liar!

No, I don't mean that, but you can't be the...

Pineapple Girl!

Oh, I wish I could get my hands on the half-witted imbecile that called me that!

I'd murder him, that's what I'd do!

I'd murder him!

You would?

Well, if she's really going, she ought to be here pretty soon.

The boat leaves in 20 minutes.

Well, do you think there's any chance of stopping her, J.P.?

I don't know. I don't know.

Hey, you're the Pineapple Girl, ain't you?

Why, yes, but...

Look. You're a guest of the Islands.

You can get away with murder, see?

I got these for my sister in San Francisco,

I can't get them through the Customs Office.

Here, take them. Well, I don't want them!

All you gotta do is wear them in plain sight. My sister will meet you on the dock.

All ready, Miss Smith.

Thank you.

Thank you, Miss Smith.

Take us to the boat, and hurry, please.

Yes, miss.

Do you think this is worth smuggling?

If you paid more than a buck for it, you got robbed.

Well, then, why did...

Myrtle, there's something very funny about this.

Yeah.

Driver, are you sure you're taking us to the boat?

Yes, lady.

Hey, what's going on here? Where's the boat?

I'm gonna notify the police!

(STAMMERING)

We seem to...

(BOTH SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

Hey, come on, talk American. What's the matter?

Where you get necklace?

A sailor gave it to me.

Sailor friend?

No, he just asked me to help him get it through the Customs.

Is no Customs for Americans.

(SHIP'S HORN BLARING)

MYRTLE: There she goes.

Where's a policeman?

Where's anybody?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) Would you pardon us?

Boy, am I glad to see you!

Well, hello! How's your heel?

Hey, when you call me that, smile!

Hello, Kimo. What's going on here?

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

Now, if you'll tell me what started all this, Miss...

Smith. Smith, I'll see if I can help you out.

Well, it seems to be this thing.

Open.

Like this.

SHAD: That's the granddaddy of all black pearls!

The eight ball!

I think you'd better tell us exactly how you got this.

Well, it was iust before I left the hotel.

I was standing near the curb waiting for the...

(CREAKING ON DECK)

We're moving!

Well, if we ain't, I'm getting another one of my dizzy spells.

Hey, Kimo, now what is this? Pearl must go back.

(DRUMS BEATING)

Now, listen, Kimo.

(MAN CHANTING IN HAWAIIAN)

So, that's it.

So, that's what?

What are they saying?

Mom� Pele, the sacred pearl,

dedicated many years ago to the goddess of a volcano on one of the smaller islands.

(SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

A while back the pearl was stolen from its shrine,

and since then, the volcano has been rumbling and pouring out smoke.

The natives claim that if the pearl isn't returned to its shrine,

the volcano will erupt and destroy the village.

And they think I stole it?

Seems to be the general impression, yeah.

But I'm sure if you give it to Kimo here, he'll...

Well, here. Oh, no, no, taboo, taboo.

You give it to holy man on Pele's Island.

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

Fine thing, shanghaied in Honolulu.

Well, why don't you do something about it?

Well, shucks, them boys won't give us no trouble

if we let them have their own way.

They ain't cannibals.

Besides, if they was, you'd be safe.

Why, sure, I'd...

(INTERCOM BUZZING)

Yeah?

SECRETARY: Long d�stance telephone call from B�rch falls, Iowa.

All right.

MAN: Hello! Hello! Todhunter? Yes. Yes, this is Todhunter.

Th�s �s Dr. V�ctor Qu�mby speak�ng! Who?

Dr. V�ctor Qu�mby. Dr. Victor who?

Qu�mby, DDS. I'd cabled the boat

and the hotel, and... You did what?

I say, I've been cabl�ng and call�ng all over, and I can't f�nd Georg�a Sm�th.

Now, where �s she? Now, we don't know where she is.

She's just gone.

Well, I'm com�ng over there, and �f anyth�ng has happened to her �n the meant�me,

I'm gonna tear your ears off! Well, now, listen, young man...

(TELEPHONE HANGING UP)

Who was that?

The Pineapple Girl's boyfriend, the dentist.

Says he's radioed the hotel and the boat but can't find her.

Says he's coming over here.

Says he's gonna tear my ears off.

Well, when you're running around the Islands without any ears,

you can thank Tony Marvin!

(PEOPLE SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

Aren't you feeling a bit sleepy?

No, I'm too excited to be sleepy.

Look, what was all that about?

Oh? I... Kimo told me to keep her right on the course, and I said, "Will do. "

Where's your compass?

Up there.

You see that little kid blinking at you?

Yes.

That's our guiding star.

Oh.

Would you mind if I tried that?

No, go right ahead.

Keep her right on the course. Keep the bowsprit pointed right at that star.

Oh, this is swell.

Sailing into the moonlight.

Hey! Hey! Don't go sailing into the moonlight

or you'll land us in Indochina, and that Kimo will land right on my neck.

Gotta keep her on the course.

Well, your star moved.

Oh, lady!

If men could count on women the way they can count on that star

there'd be much more smooth sailing and far less wrecks!

Well!

Personal experience or something out of a book?

What's the difference? It's true.

I see. Out of a book.

(HUMMING)

What is that?

What's what?

That thing they're singing up there. I've heard it somewhere.

Oh, well I should'think you would have.

It's very popular here on the Islands. They all play it and sing it.

It's called Blue Hawa��. Oh.

Nice little song, too.

(HUMMING)

(SINGING) Blue Hawa��

(HUMMING)

The n�ght �s heavenly

And you are heaven to me

Lovely lyrics.

Yes, and lovely you

BOT_: And blue Hawa��

W�th all th�s lovel�ness

There should be love

What now?

"Come with me. "

Come with me.

No, no, you gotta sing it.

"While the moon is on the sea. "

(SINGING) Wh�le the moon �s on the sea

That's right, and, "The night is young. "

The n�ght �s young

Very good. "And so are we. "

And so are we

Don't tell me, I remember now.

Go ahead.

Dreams come true

You got �t r�ght

_O_: In blue Hawa��

And m�ne could all come true

Th�s mag�c n�ght of n�ghts

W�th you

I wonder what happened. That star must have moved, huh?

Now, drink this, honey, then I'll tuck you in.

Hey, where does that pig sleep at night?

Under my bed.

Well, isn't it unhealthy?

Mmm-mmm.

Wafford's never had a sick day since I had him.

Do you know, you can't hardly kill these razorback pigs.

I remember one time my uncle was blowing out stump with dynamite,

some of it didn't go off,

and this pig started rooting around, and he swallowed 16 sticks of dynamite.

Later on that day, he was fooling around in the barn and a mule kicked him.

That dynamite exploded, and blowed down the barn,

and broke all the windows in the house,

and I want to tell you, for a couple of days, there,

we had a mighty sick pig on our hands.

Well, I guess I'll just have to learn how to grunt.

(YELLING IN HAWAIIAN)

(BOTH SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

(YELLING IN HAWAIIAN)

(BOTH SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

We brought the pearl.

You will come to the village and await the arrival of the High Priest.

You'll be all right as long as nothing happens to the pearl.

(SQUEALING)

Hey, come on! Get that pig.

(GRUNTING)

(WAFFORD SQUEALING)

Hey, come on! Hey, what's this all about?

Well, oh, come on now, break it up, kid.

Brother, you're looking at the champion hog caller of Crawford County, Arkansas.

Now, don't you worry about that pearl. You sit down here and keep your sheet on.

You know, I hope you won't think I'm bragging,

but there just seems to be something about me that a pig can't resist.

And I want to tell you, where I come from, we've got some pretty snooty pigs.

Now, you wait a minute.

(SHOUTING)

Somebody calling me?

Pig! Pig!

Hear him? He's a long ways off, but he's a-coming!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

GEORGIA: Oh, Shad, you found him! Yeah.

Oh, is this a relief. There you are.

I got him! I got him! I got...

Hey! Who are you?

That's the future Mrs. Wafford.

I told you when I call them every pig in the county turns out.

Yeah.

Don't look now, but we got company.

Man, you even carried Maine and Vermont!

(MIMICKING APE)

Hello, Operator? Get me the Imperial Pineapples Limited.

Yeah. Mr. Marvin's office.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello. Oh, hello, Mr. Marvin. How are you doing?

The second installment's a lily.

That's right. Goodbye, Mr. Marvin.

Good evening, Mr. Everett.

Where's Mr. Marvin?

I couldn't say.

Where's the Pineapple Girl?

I couldn't say.

Well, wherever she is, her impressions of Hawaii are being printed in the paper.

I don't suppose you know anything about that, either.

Oh, yes. I know all about it.

Oh, you do?

Yes, Mr. Marvin dictated it.

He dictated it?

Before he went away.

The first five installments. Clever, isn't he?

Yeah, if he can think of the right answer to tell her

when she finds out what he's done to her.

Where's Marvin taken that girl?

To one of the islands,

to give her the romance she wasn't getting.

But she certainly gets it in this installment. It's a lily. Listen.

"And in the morning, while we waited in the village,

"I began to feel, for the first time, that I was part of the Hawaii

"I'd always dreamed about. "

(MAN SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

There.

Now you look li_e wah�ne kanaka.

What's a wah�ne kanaka?

Hawaiian girl.

Yeah? Well, how do I look?

You look like... You look very nice, too.

Yeah.

(SINGING) Sweet Le�lan�

ALL: Sweet Le�lan�

Heavenly flower

Trop�c sk�es are jealous as they sh�ne

Oh, sweet Le�lan�

I th�nk they're jealous of your blue eyes

My lovely Le�lan�

Jealous because you're m�ne

Sweet Le�lan�

Sweet Le�lan�

Heavenly flower

I dreamed of parad�se For two

Oh, sweet Le�lan�

You are my parad�se completed

My lovely Le�lan�

You are my dream

Come true

You see, there? One lullaby from me

and the child tosses fitfully for hours.

Hey, look!

What's that?

Oh, that's a native game, sort of a Hawaiian post office.

You mean, if I lasso a guy with one of these things,

he's gotta kiss me?

That gets it.

Well, what am I waiting for? Here I come!

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

(WAFFORD SQUEALING)

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

Well, I guess we might as well get in the game, huh?

(DRUMS BEATING)

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

The High Priest is here.

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

He says, he hopes the return of the pearl will quiet the volcano.

What if it doesn't?

Well, in that case you run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

(DRUMS BEATING FASTER)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

Oh, Shaddy-pie?

What?

I've got something for you.

What is it?

Oh, it's something.

Give it to me.

Uh-uh. I'm bashful.

Well, wait a minute. I'll fix that.

Hey, go easy on that stuff. That's okolehao.

Concentrated Hawaiian dynamite and mule kick.

That stuff will make you bold as brass.

Yeah, well that's wha# I'm waiting for, but nothing happens.

Look.

(HICCUPS)

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

(PEOPLE SINGING IN HAWAIIAN)

(SINGING) We should be together

In a l�ttle hula heaven over the s�lver sea

Gay and free together

In a l�ttle hula heaven under a koa tree

Days would be lazy

And sweetly crazy

T�ll sk�es grew hazy above

Then we'd be all alone together

In a l�ttle hula heaven l�v�ng a dream of love

_O_: Days would be lazy

And sweetly crazy

T�ll sk�es grew hazy above

Then we'd be all alone together

(TONY WHISTLING)

In a l�ttle hula heaven l�v�ng a dream of love

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

Tony,

do you like girls who say what they think?

I'm crazy about them.

All right. Here goes.

There are an awful lot of things I like about you.

All right. Let's take them in alphabetical order.

Start with the A's. Right.

Well, I can't think of any A's.

Oh, fine. Now you're backing out on me, huh?

No, I'm not.

Well, for one thing, I like you because of all the things you've done for me.

Well, I haven't done anything for you.

I mean...

Well, I iust seen my duty and I done it.

Well, at least you didn't do it because I'm the Pineapple Girl.

I could kiss you for that, Tony.

In fact,

I'm going to.

Georgia.

Yes, Tony?

You being the Pineapple Girl actually has...

What I mean is, it really...

You mean if I hadn't won the contest,

I wouldn't be here with you, now.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, what I meant was that your being so nice to me has nothing to do

with selling pineapples.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, why do you keep on saying, "mmm-hmm"?

Well, "mmm-hmm" seems to cover the whole situation.

(PLANE APPROACHING)

Herman. Uncle Herman.

Yes?

What do they say now, Victor?

They say they can't find her anywhere.

Oh, we'll find her, all right.

Oh, wait till I get my hands on that...

Take another radiogram to J.P. Todhunter.

Holding you personally responsible for safety,

welfare, health of Georgia Smith.

Signed, Victor P. Quimby.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING LOUDLY)

Myrtle!

Are you all right, honey?

Oh, that's a nice way to wake a girl up.

You hit her in the head with a baseball bat!

Oh, honey, you know I didn't. Now, that's just that okolehao talking.

All I wanted to get was a little sleep.

All right, baby. You cuddle up right where you are

and Shaddy-pie will sing you a nice lullaby.

Yeah.

(CLEARING THROAT)

(SINGING) Everyone's affected by Hawa��an moons

They leave me cold

Everyone's affected by Hawa��an tunes

I'm st�ll unsold

When palm trees sway �n the breeze

I say to myself, pooh-pooh

But I can't get enough

Of

Okolehao, okolehao

There's man-made moonsh�ne �n Hawa�� now

Okolehao, h�p-h�p-hooray

After two s�ps your h�ps start to sw�ng and sway

When the gals beg�n to beg just for one more keg

Then the boys know what they mean

And they send for the Mar�nes

Okolehao, I'm tell�ng you

After one dr�nk you'll th�nk you're Hawa��an, too

Well, all right, then!

Down �n Mex�co

They dr�nk a bottle of tequ�la for a bracer

Russ�ans have the�r vodka

Then they have another vodka for a chaser

Up �n Harlem, home of sw�ng

They dr�nk almost anyth�ng that's handy

Oh, boy

Now, beer and ale and scotch and g�n

And rum and rye and brandy

Stout and port and shandygaff and bourbon and Ch�ant�

Creme de cacao, creme de menthe, applejack and zazarat

lambor�n�, dry Mart�n�, alkal�, wh�te mule

And panther soup

(WHISTLES)

(MOANING)

Okolehao, okolehao

Now, �t makes you dance Makes you s�ng

It's good for almost anyth�ng

L�ke fallen arches, athlete's foot

A spra�ned knee and broken ch�na

Buy a bottle, step up, gents Pr�ce �s only 50 cents

Okolehao, okolehao

Now, �f you want a dr�nk or two

I w�ll dr�nk a toast to you

So pros�t, sante, skoal, cheer�o

And I'cha�m

(SCATTING)

(HICCUPS)

Oh, skip it.

Bottoms up

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

Oh, come on, let's go Okolehao

There's man-made moonsh�ne �n Hawa�� now

Okolehao, h�p-h�p-hooray

After two s�ps, your h�ps start to sw�ng and sway

When the gals beg�n to beg just for one more keg

Then the boys know what

(VOLCANO ERUPTING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

Well?

The pearl has been returned.

But Mom� Pele remains angry.

Follow me.

(DRUMS BEATING)

(SPEAKING HAWAIIAN)

Why, the pearl's a fake.

A phony.

Take these girls to a hut.

Now, just a minute... Put them under guard and keep them there.

Tony got here right on schedule, eh?

Yeah, right on the dot.

Say, I gotta be going.

Next thing on the program is the fight. See you later.

Okay.

(SHUSHING)

I think somebody's following us. Go on, get in there.

(WHISPERING) How we doing?

(WHISPERING) Keep punching. You're winning.

No. I mean the volcano.

Not so good.

What do you mean, "not so good"?

We need more smoke, more stuff.

Okay. Pile it on.

Yeah.

Tony, are you all right?

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

KIMO: Hey!

Hey, men! Tony wants more smoke, more fire!

Okay.

Men, come over here. More fire, more smoke.

Hurry.

Hey...

(EXCLAIMS)

Now we're getting somewhere. What?

Well, we're getting closer to the boat. Oh.

Shaddy-pie, I'm scared.

Oh, that mean old limb.

It hurt me right here.

Come on. We'll get left.

(SIGHING)

Hey listen, Robinson Crusoe.

We might just as well sit down here. We're lost, ain't we?

No. Tony and Georgia are lost, we're here.

Well, we've been walking around all night in a circle.

Hey, where you going?

I'm going to reconnoiter.

You can do that later.

Hey, why don't you climb up this tree? Maybe you can find out where we're at.

Well, all right. But I ain't much on that Tarzan stuff.

Well, I'll give you a hand.

SHAD: I'll be right back, Wafford.

Oh, Shaddy-pie? What?

I'm not too heavy for you, am I?

No, honey, you just keep hanging on.

Ouch!

Myrtle, there's Tony's schooner. He's found his boat.

We'll be with them in just a jiffy.

I don't see a thing up here.

Come on, give me a hand.

Well, don't hold my hand. Come on, pull.

All right, Myrtle, just a minute.

Hey, where are you, Shad?

Up here.

Well, if you're up there, whose hand am I holding?

Ma!

Ma!

(THUDDING)

Myrtle, how did you get your face so dirty?

You know, I was just thinking that...

Oh, cutie-pie, come on below. I just fixed you a nice cup of coffee.

Is it hot?

Almost took my fingernail off.

Go ahead, Shad. I got it.

Coming, honey.

Wafford takes two lumps in his.

Just look how big and yellow and everything that moon is.

You know, we haven't any moon at all in Birch Falls.

Oh, that's silly.

You must have.

Well, if we have, I haven't noticed it.

Yes, there's...

There's a lot of things you never notice about...

About a lot of things.

You in the moonlight.

(SINGING) Sweet �s the word for you

for all that you have done _or me

The one for me

Is you

Sweet you

In the starl�ght

Sweet �s the word for you

But all the stars that glow above

Seem to know of my love

for you

Because of you

The w�nd �s w�ne ton�ght

My heart s�ngs

W�th every beat

Are you a dream

There �n the moonl�ght?

Sweet �s the word for you

And yet you seem d�v�ne ton�ght

You are m�ne ton�ght

My sweet

Georgia.

Yes, Tony?

Well, never mind.

I'll tell you about it tomorrow when we get ashore, huh?

All right.

Georgia!

Come on below and get some shuteye, honey. Your bunk's made up.

Good night, Tony. Good night.

Good night.

Good night. Good night.

Uh-oh.

This one's beginning to go.

Yes, a little around the edges.

Wouldn't be so tough if I didn't feel the way I do about her.

The whole darn thing's come back and hit me like a boomerang.

You ever been mixed up with a boomerang?

No.

I learned my lesson spitting against the wind.

(DOOR RATTLING)

Where are you going?

I'm going to the police.

Oh, now, wait a minute, Victor. There's enough in the papers already.

I don't care anything about that. I'm going to the police.

Like that?

Well, it's all your fault anyway,

letting her come here in the first place.

People back home pointing at me, calling me, "Mr. Pineapple Girl. "

Now, now, Victor.

Don't you "now, now" me!

Everybody back home knows how I feel about Georgia,

and here she is, gallivanting around these islands with some total stranger,

probably doing heaven-knows-what.

Victor.

Yes, and I only say "probably" because you're her uncle.

Nonsense! Todhunter assured us she's in safe hands.

Yeah, well, I don't trust him! I don't trust anybody around here.

And what do we know of this fellow Marvin?

Why, if a thing like this happened back home in Birch Falls,

the whole town would be in an uproar.

But here, nobody seems to care!

Todhunter said she'd be back today.

Now, all we want to do is get her on the noon boat and get her out of here.

Yeah, but not until I've taken care of this fellow Marvin.

You know, I keep quite fit.

You remember what I did to Jim Bledsoe when he refused to pay for his uppers?

Yes, I remember quite well.

You knocked out his lowers.

Precisely.

Myrtle.

Myrtle.

Now, what is it?

Myrtle,

have you ever noticed Tony when he smiles?

Look, it's morning, and you've been talking all night.

Didn't your mother ever tell you about sleep?

Ow!

I'm sorry, Myrtle.

(TONY WHISTLING)

TONY: Oh, Georgia!

Just a minute, Tony.

Just try to get some sleep in a love nest!

Hello, Tony.

Good morning, Georgia. Well, we'll be in in a few minutes.

All right. I'll hurry and get dressed.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, yes. Wait, wait, wait a minute.

When we get ashore, you go right up to the hotel

and slip into your best bib and tucker,

and I'll ioin you there just as soon as I can, huh?

Where are you going?

Well, I got a few things to attend to, but I'll be back,

and then you and I are gonna go places.

Where?

Well, never mind. You just do as you're told.

Well, Tony, what's the big idea?

Stick out your chin.

Now you'll have to marry me.

That's the big idea.

Oh.

(SINGING) You are m�ne ton�ght

My sweet

(SINGING) Sweet you �n the moonl�ght

Sweet �s the word for you

for all that you have done _or me

The one for me �s you

Sweet you �n the starl�ght

Sweet �s the word for you

But all the stars that glow above

Seem to know of my love for you

Because of you the w�nd �s w�ne ton�ght

My heart s�ngs w�th every l�ttle beat

Are you a dream here �n the moonl�ght?

Sweet �s the word for you

And yet you seem d�v�ne ton�ght

You're m�ne ton�ght

My sweet

Hello, Victor. Uncle Herman.

Oh, hello, Tony.

Welcome back. Why, you've surpassed yourself.

Yes, indeed. Congratulations.

Never mind that. Listen to this.

We're not printing another line of the Georgia Smith impressions.

What?

Yes, and what's more, we're releasing a signed statement to the newspapers

saying that the whole thing is a fake.

But everything's worked out exactly as you planned it.

But it hasn't.

I didn't plan on making pineapple hash out of a swell girl who...

What are you talking about?

It's pretty plain, isn't it?

Never mind that. You just get on that phone and tell the newspapers the truth,

or I'll take that thick noggin of yours and bang it against the wall!

We've got a lot of money invested in that wonderful idea of yours,

and we're not gonna back out now.

Oh, but you are...

Everett is right, Tony. We couldn't back out.

Okay.

Then I'm washing up. I quit.

Now, Tony, listen to me... No, no, I'm through.

And if Junior doesn't call the newspapers right now, I will.

Go ahead, call them.

But if you do, you'll never get another job on the Islands. Will he?

No.

Thanks, pal.

Hello. This is Tony Marvin.

Yeah. Will you get me the city editor on all the newspapers in town?

Mmm-hmm, thanks.

Now, listen to me, Tony. I absolutely forbid...

Hello, hello. Who's this?

Chron�cle? This is Marvin, Tony Marvin.

About those Georgia Smith impressions, I just wanted to...

Papa.

Let me tell you, Georgia.

This man has deliberately exploited you

to advance himself with that pineapple outfit.

I'm afraid he's right, Georgia.

Of course I'm right! I only wish he was here, that's all!

I'd show him. He's a bad tooth and somebody ought to pull him out!

Georgia.

Yes, Uncle Herman?

Victor and I want to take you back home.

It's best for you and for everyone.

I tell you what,

we'll get our things together, and you think it over, hmm?

Oh, yes. I like that. That's nice.

Come on, get your hat. We gotta get going.

Come on. We're gonna be married way down at the other end of the island.

Will there be newspapermen and photographers there?

And pineapples?

Pineapples?

No.

Oh.

Tony, I iust want to ask you one question.

Did you write this?

Well, now, wait a minute. Did you?

Well, first you have to let me... Either you wrote it, or you didn't.

I wrote it.

Now, just a minute, Georgia.

And you were paid to do everything you did, weren't you?

Well, yes, that's how the whole thing started.

But a lot of things happened that I didn't exactly count on.

You can understand that, can't you?

No.

All I can understand is that everything you said and everything you did

was planned.

Except one thing. I fell in love with you.

I didn't plan that.

I think you better go now, Tony.

Not a chance.

Tony. Don't.

Well, you heard what she said. Don't.

Who's that?

I have a few things I want to say to you, Marvin.

That's who I am.

Now, now, Victor.

Mr. Marvin, Georgia has decided to go home with us on the noon boat.

She'll need every minute to pack, so if you don't mind...

Is that right, Georgia?

Yes.

All right.

But you're not going home.

The boat leaves in 40 minutes, and you sit there feeding sugar to a pig.

I thought you got ideas. Well, come on, function!

I got one and I think it'll work.

A fellow tried it on me one time, and it worked.

It's a little trick called "the flying tomato. "

Well, come on, then!

(SQUEALING FRANTICALLY)

Here.

One of these days, Georgia,

you're going to thank Uncle Herman and me for getting you out of this.

Yes. Well we haven't much time. We'd better get going.

Oh, yes, yes.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Well, I'll be right down.

There's some sort of mix-up about our reservations.

A man from the ticket agency is downstairs.

I'll be right back.

But we don't wanna go to Shanghai.

My tickets quite definitely say San Francisco.

I don't understand it myself, brother, but I'll sure take care of you.

Oh. Pardon me, my shoelace is untied.

Oh.

You'd better hurry it up. Gonna miss that boat.

Yeah, well, this won't take me a minute.

Oh! You oughtn't to have done that.

Oh, that's bad. Why, that officer never done nothing to you.

Say, what in the... All right, come along.

What? Say, what are you talking about?

You know what I'm talking about. Come along!

But, Officer, I was only standing here... Tell it to the judge.

I wonder what's keeping Victor. Why, he's been gone...

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hello?

In jail? For what?

He... Wait a minute.

He threw what at who?

I'll be right over. Victor's in jail.

Must be losing his mind, throwing things at policemen.

Well, I've gotta go down, bail him out.

There's an officer waiting for me at the desk.

You hurry over to the boat and wait for us there.

But, Officer, what in the world do you suppose made him throw it?

Now, I can't imagine.

Except I had an uncle that was the same way about watermelons.

You know, the minute he'd see a policeman, he'd take that watermelon and smash him.

Oh, pardon me, my shoe lace is untied.

Well, hurry it up.

That's the iail over there, isn't it?

Yeah. Don't worry. You'll be there in just a few minutes.

Yeah, well...

Oh, you oughtn't to have done that.

That's bad. Now, how would you like to have somebody take a tomato and...

Hello.

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

(ALL YELLING)

Will someone please let me out of here?

I've got to get that boat!

Quiet. Quiet. You're getting out.

There's the man! That's him! There's the man!

Well, Uncle Herman, it's about time.

So they got you, eh?

Well, perhaps this will be a lesson to you, Mr. Practical Joker.

And remember this, my friend, "He who laughs last, laughs longest. "

Thank you very much.

Hello.

Will you please get out of here?

You might as well give in now. I'm gonna be hanging around here for five days.

Five days? Mmm-hmm.

I'm going home with you. You happy?

You're what?

I got the cabin right next door.

All you're going to hear for five days is, "I love you, I love you, I love you. "

I want to tap it out on your wall at night.

See? You won't sleep a wink.

You're not going back with me.

No? I got my ticket.

What do you think of that?

I'll change my cabin. Oh, no, you can't.

Oh, purser.

Can a man travel to the States on a cigar store coupon?

On a... Not on this boat.

Well, there's one in A-23 who thinks he can.

What? Sailor. I'll attend to that, miss.

Thank you, purser.

(TONY WHISTLING)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Come in.

Oh, hello.

I beg your pardon, sir, but I should like to see your ticket.

Ticket? Ticket. Oh, well, I was gonna buy one on the boat.

Sorry, sir, the space is all taken.

That's what I said.

Now, perhaps you'd better go ashore, sir.

That might be a smart move.

Oh, better get my luggage. Will you give me a lift, men?

All right, boys.

Don't leave anything, now. Get it all.

TONY: Thanks.

These are your bags! Don't you want them?

Hey, come on down and get your bags!

You can't do that to me!

Honey, it sure was nice of you to get me out of here.

But where did you get the money to pay my fine?

Oh, I won first prize in a dog show. Well... Huh?

Yeah. Where in the world did you get a dog?

Oh, I got him.

Wafford.

Doggone it, honey. You've spoiled Wafford's whole life.

I'll have to re-christen him Rover.

He'll probably spend the rest of his life thinking he's a dog.

All visitors ashore, please.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Miss Georgia Smith?

Yes, I'm Miss Smith.

I wonder if I could speak to you for a moment, alone?

Of course. No, Georgia.

I'm Miss Smith's fiance.

Anything that concerns her, you may ask me.

I see. Very well.

Does she love you?

What?

Say, who are you?

I'm Tony Marvin's mother.

Oh.

Well, does she?

Why, of course she does.

Do you?

Because if you don't, if you love Tony,

if it's your pride that's keeping you from him, you mustn't let it.

Georgia, I obiect! Victor, please...

No, that's all. There's nothing more to be said, except

Tony knows how foolish he's been and he loves you.

SAILOR: All v�s�tors ashore!

Goodbye.

I hope you'll be very happy.

Well...

There's another thing you can thank me for.

How would you like to have her for a mother-in-law?

Victor!

I'll handle this.

Now, Victor!

Should have left him in jail.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Georgia! Georgia! Georgia!

(SHIP'S HORN BLARING)

Tony!

Well she's! somebody's mother,

I think.

Oh, Tony.