Original subtitles

[upbeat music plays]

Beth, I thought you were practicing at the Lawrence's.

And you're the realtor whose SUV is blocking the driveway?

Um, I could get you a better price if the windows weren't so... old.

- And the insulation... - Otherwise known as sweaters.

- She's funny, your mom. - Yes, she is. Hilarious.

- Have you had the electrical updated? - Mm...

And the pipes?

Do not dial that phone.

Oh, no. No!

What? Oh, oh!

- Jo. - Wait, wait, wait. Holding thought.

You forgot your phone again.

What? How did you know?

Because your sister just texted me.

God. Thank you.

Hey. Tell me she hasn't signed anything

or I'm going to punch that realtor person in the face.

If you're going to carry three phones, maybe one should be yours.

I shouldn't have even said anything.

I cannot believe she's seriously going to sell Orchard House.

Dry rot. Or carpenter ants.

Or both.

- Very loud carpenter ants. - [footsteps]

- It's not for sale. - Your days are numbered.

You said don't dial. You didn't say anything about texting.

Lawyer. Writer. Artist.

Well, I'm right, aren't I? I know people.

Law student, ghost tweeter, lost soul.

Oh, well, see, that's a mother's love talking.

- There's no way you're... - You can't sell the house.

Girls, your father and I were going to break it to you

when we got back from Afghanistan. Gently.

- [all shouting] - Girls!

Whoa, that's impressive. You should bottle that.

Call me when you're ready.

[sighs] All right, sad faces. Who wants to help me pack?

- Are you insane? - You just can't!

- Just because the house needs a little fixing up... - It's more than that, Jo.

The electrical goes on and off at will, the plumbing leaks,

there's literally an arctic breeze blowing through this house all winter.

You always said that the cold keeps you young.

Yes, well, that's before I got old... and your father was injured.

Your father needs to focus on his recovery,

not spend all his time fixing leaky pipes.

- You said that Dad was going to be fine. - He will be.

He just can't be the family handyman anymore.

[sighs] I can see you guys are gonna be a lot of help.

Look, girls, we just can't keep putting money into this house.

We can't afford it. We need something smaller.

A two-bedroom condo with reliable heat.

Two bedrooms? What about us?

[chuckles] You didn't think you were gonna live here forever, did you?

[Margaret laughs]

Meg will ace the bar and get a great job at a big firm.

- We don't know that, Mom. - And Jo will win fame and fortune with her writing.

I don't know if what I do qualifies as writing.

And Amy will hit her expiration date with this theater thing

and leave again for some far-off corner of the earth.

Ouch.

Your father's and my future is going to be that of empty-nesters

in a smaller, easier to maintain nest.

Beth... will figure out what Beth wants.

I want you to keep Orchard House.

All right, we'll talk about this when we get back in January.

- Excuse me, when? - You're missing Christmas?

This year I leave Christmas and Orchard House to you.

- We can't do Christmas without you! - Girls, girls!

[sighs]

You are not little girls anymore, you are little women now.

I'm only gonna be gone for two months. What could possibly go wrong?

[rock music plays]

[indistinct chatter]

[muffled music continues]

Hey, hey! [laughs]

It's your party! Why aren't you partying?

You... Wow, you look amazing.

- Anachronistic, but amazing. - Anachro-mazing. I like that.

- What is this Is that your app? - Uh... No, that's nothing.

- No, let me see! - It's not, no...

You said you'd let me see it when you launched it!

- Come on, please! Please! - No!

- It's porn, isn't it? - Yes, it's porn.

Oh, my God! I wanna see it! Let me see!

Christmas countdown?

Teddy Goldenboy Lawrence!

I told you, it's not finished.

- Oh! It's... cute. - Shut up.

[laughs] So, what are you gonna do? Get dressed. Put on a costume.

You can't go as yourself... rich and useless.

- Oh! Hey! - Here you go.

- Let's party. - Oh! Oh, my God! Wow.

- [music plays] - [indistinct chatter]

- Hi, guys! - What's the thread count, Adonis?

You really did a number on these decorations this year, Chicklet.

Teddy, I'm too old to be called Chicklet.

I'm sorry, every time I see your face, I see that snaggle-toothed

- little girl I grew up with. - Oh, my gosh!

Wait a minute. Teddy. You know what you should do with that app?

You should, um, link it to a charity, like Toys for Tots.

- Make it a "be Santa" app. - [chuckles]

- That's genius. Why didn't I think of that? - Because I thought of that.

Why don't I get you a drink to celebrate your brilliance.

- Teddy, get me a drink. - That would be corrupting a minor.

- Feel free. - Amy.

Oh! Hello!

Why am I looking at Meg making out with Douche Bag Dan?

- Because, uh, John is here. - You didn't.

What? The guy leaves January 1st to go teach little kids

in an impoverished country. What am I supposed to do? Let him spend the holidays alone?

I don't want to go through that again. Neither do you.

- No, we don't. - Love makes people stupid.

You cannot judge love unless you've been in love,

which you, Jo March, have never been.

Yeah, and I never will be.

Not until I'm published and incredibly successful.

Uh, you are published. Just not as yourself.

- [man] Hail Caesar! Oh... - Hi!

- Hey! What's up? - John! Wow!

Nice, nice costume. You look, uh, like a UPS man.

- [laughter] - How have you been? Good?

John, you knew if you were staying here you were gonna

- run into Meg sooner or later, right? - I knew.

Look, I wasn't the biggest fan of you and Meg together,

but I can't stand this guy with her,

so let's get smashed and dull our shared pain.

- Lead the way. - I will. It's right over here. This way.

Excuse me, my dear fellow, I seemed to have lost my favorite clown.

Ah! There she is.

Come on, you're not gonna go all chaperone-y on me, are you, Mr. L?

Elementary, my dear Amy. Elementary.

You can hide at our house and hand out candy with Beth

- until Dan goes. - I'm good. I'm fine.

Band-Aid ripped. I'm so ripped...

Excellent.

Mm! That's not punch.

- Oh, the tragedy of youth. - Hey...

- I'm staying with Ted. - Oh.

Meg, I gotta go. Peace.

- Watch out. - Bye.

John, I love my sister, but she has terrible taste in men.

[laughter]

John, go after her, will you?

Keep your eye on her.

Don't let her out of your sight.

Are you going to miss me?

What's there to miss when I can Skype-sex you?

Look, Meg, if I don't get going, I'm going to miss my flight.

I'll give you a call when I get to San Francisco, OK?

I had a good time tonight.

Yeah... OK.

Well, it's not a blown fuse.

Did we pay the bill?

Maybe it's a Halloween trick,

and tomorrow all the lights will magically pop back on.

Maybe Mom was right, and this place is totally falling down around us.

[sobbing]

Beth, you can't cry every time we talk about this.

I can too. I've only ever wanted to live here, Jo.

I can! I can cry if I want to! I'm sorry!

OK, Beth, but maybe you should look at this as an opportunity

to move on and figure out what you wanna do with your life and...

Look, if ghost-tweeting celebs' lives

earned me a living,

and you wouldn't have to go anywhere.

- Yeah. I'm cold. - I'm freezing.

Those fishnets aren't keeping you warm?

They would have if Mr. Lawrence hadn't interrupted.

- Slut! - Frozen slut.

- Slut-sicle. - [laughter]

That's a good one.

[sighs]

I can't imagine coming home to anywhere else.

I know.

It'll all be OK, though.

Why Meg thinks she needs some rich guy,

when we all know perfectly well she can and will take care of herself...

You're just remembering what she told you in college.

Do you wanna go over there

and comfort poor, lonely Meg?

Because I will go with you.

In case Jo is there?

Friends with absolutely no benefits whatsoever.

No balls. None. OK? Both of you. Just... ball-less wonders.

No! You got four perfectly fine women in that house right over there,

a short walk away, two of them the loves of your lives...

- I don't know about that. - Meg and I have been over for years.

And you two sit here, alone. Right? Complaining.

Moaning. Pissing. OK? I cannot believe

Are you two gonna go fight for these women or not?

Answer me!

We should throw a kick-ass good-bye Orchard House party.

- More like a funeral. - Kill-joys.

What if someone actually wrecks the house, though?

Papier maching is not remodeling, Amy.

Well, there's something called the Internet that will tell us how to fix everything

- that needs fixing. - I don't know.

And they could afford to do it themselves, if they hadn't paid for our college

and your law school and your piano lessons

and your strange battles with the law in Thailand.

- I'm going to pay everybody back someday, I swear. - Mm-hm.

Your generation with its tweeting and hooking.

That's an important distinction.

You're good at talking about the girls.

But I don't see you going after them.

[sighs] We're respecting what they say.

No, it's not respect, it's cowardice. You respect them by engaging with them.

By showing them what they're worth. Make them notice you.

- Believe me, in my day... - When you communicated by cave painting?

- [laughs] - OK, you can laugh all you want

at the lack of technology in my formative years, but, I'll tell you,

we had no problem getting women to fall for us.

We were respectfully relentless. We courted.

- Courted? - Yeah.

And that does not mean texting in the middle of the night, hoping for a booty call.

[chuckling]

Come on, we owe it to them. You know that.

No, OK, I know.

But you're working three jobs,

and her play opens in December, and I have to study. It's just...

We don't have time. It's too much.

It's not too much.

You know that we're going to convince you sooner or later

this is the right thing to do.

Or we'll do the whole thing ourselves

and not let you be in control of any of it.

- Oh, wow! Nicely done, Bethy. - You guys are evil. All of you.

Although I really have been wanting to paint over that nasty stain in the ceiling.

- [gasping] - Oh, the stain! Yay!

John, Meg may think she that wants financial security,

and all the things that you bring to the table.

- Yeah, maybe, but... - And Teddy,

you have to use that knowledge to get her to let you in.

- Right, but she... - You two guys love these girls! Am I right?

Then I dare you to prove to me that your generation

- is not a lost cause. - You want us to prove to you that we can get them into bed?

No, no. On the contrary! No, completely on the contrary.

OK, I have no idea what you're talking about.

You have to lead with romance, my friends. Romance.

You have to kiss them. You have to get them to kiss you.

I mean, really, really kiss you, not when they're drunk.

And not under the mistletoe. Get a March sister

to fall in love with you.

Restore my faith in my own kind.

A kiss by Christmas.

- What just happened? - We got schooled.

[laughing]

OK, screwdrivers, check. Vise grips, check.

Claw hammers... check.

Um, OK. Fix the floors in the kitchen and hardwood throughout.

Replace leaky plumbing, winterize the windows,

remove all old lead paint, replace the water heater and all the electrical.

We can't do all this ourselves.

- Yeah, we can. - Maybe Bob at the front desk

can recommend someone for electrical.

I can take care of that too.

Amy, hanging Christmas lights

does not make you a wiring expert.

I've been working with Jed down at the theater.

Making out with the tech director does not make you an expert either.

- That's not what he says. - Wow!

- [laughter] - Oh, my God! I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

[groans] We can't afford... this.

We can't afford any of this. I think we have to put it back.

- All of it? - Yeah. Yep. We're gonna put it back.

We'll figure something out.

I miss you too. No, I know, the time difference is difficult.

Honestly, Dan, it's kind of difficult to stay turned on when you're texting me

- in between red lights. - OK, hi, bye. Bye, Dan. Bye.

- Are you crazy? - Girls, I thought we would need some chocolate for this.

- Look! - Another thing for the list.

OK, I don't think we have any more room on the list.

- I talked to Bob about the electrical. - I said I was gonna do that.

You guys have no faith that I can do anything. You treat me like a baby.

- I'm 20. - [all] We know!

And I'm capable of a lot more than you think I am.

OK, that's really annoying.

OK, so, all for Bob doing the electrical

and all of us doing the rest ourselves, aye.

- Aye. - Aye.

- Beth! - Let's talk cash.

I'm putting the feelers out for a new client, but Sean, Curtis and Natalia

don't want me taking on someone who might overlap.

I could postpone my trip with Dan, though, and just stay and be an extra pair of hands.

- OK. - I have a little money saved up, but that means

- no Christmas presents this year. - That's fine. Amy?

You have heard the expression "theater doesn't pay," right?

[laughter]

- Oh, my God! - [saw buzzing]

What is that?

- Teddy? - Why do you have all this stuff?

You guys can't fix up the house without this stuff. It's top of the line.

- You bought all this? - You are the best. [laughs]

- Um, we can't take this. - Jo. Yeah, we can.

You are the nicest guy, Teddy Lawrence, but we just can't take all this.

No, no, please, please, do not pull that virtuous "March girls must do it all ourselves" crap.

Don't worry, we never put you and virtuous in the same sentence.

You need tools, I got you tools.

Two words for that: "thank" and "you."

How about, "take them back"? All of them. Now!

- Don't tell me what to do. - I just did. Deal with it.

- Oh, really? - I hate when they fight.

Oh, my God! You are such a baby!

We've been over this a million times before.

Yeah, simple fact. I have money, you don't.

Why do you think it's a mortal sin to spread the wealth?

You can't buy stuff so that people will like you.

[laughs] Well, I kind of thought you liked me already.

How many times did your mom check in on me when I was sick?

How often was I included, was I made to feel like part of your family,

when I wasn't part at all?

You are part of our family,

and you should know us well enough to know by now

that you can do what you can do. But you can't do this.

God, you're a stubborn pain in the ass, you know that?

- Well, that's why you love me. - Not so much right now.

You're the one who said to do something good with my Christmas app money.

I said give it to charity. We're not a charity!

I never said you were a char...! God, you make it really hard, Jo, you know that?

I'm not trying to make it hard, I swear. But, please, Teddy,

understand, we can't just take...

- Borrow. Just borrow. - No, it's "take" if we can't pay it back,

I don't know how we'll ever be able to pay it back.

I know that your heart is in exactly the right place, but,

- please understand... - I... it's fine. I got it. OK?

But you damn well better say yes to me painting and sanding floors.

By hand, apparently.

- What? - Just the idea of you sanding.

- Hm... that's funny. - It's funny.

It's just like your hands... [laughs]

- No, no! [laughs] - Yeah!

[piano plays]

[whispers] Don't disturb her.

She's gotten so good.

I know. I thought about giving her the piano.

I don't play it much anymore. But then I realized that would be depriving myself

- [electrical fizzling] - [shrieks]

Hey, Natalia, what's up?

That sounds intriguing.

Yes. Of course. I would love to write your autobiography.

[gasps, mouthing]

Meet with your editor? Yes, of course.

OK, bye!

- [laughing] - What's the dance party for?

I got a writing gig. A big, fat, real book writing gig.

- Your novel? - Natalia's autobiography!

That's amazing! Oh, my gosh!

- Dancing! - Oh! Work it out!

[stammers] What's that smell? Is something burning?

- Oh, God. Oh, God. - Amy?

- Amy! Amy! - [coughing]

[all shouting]

You set the house on fire. All the water damage in the basement!

- Amy, what were you thinking? - I was thinking I was going to replace the fuse box.

- But we agreed. - You agreed. I didn't.

The important thing is not to have something that everybody needs to be OK about!

- It was an accident, Jo! - An accident is a mistake.

It's not an accident when you do something that people tell you not to do.

Who says that you get to tell me to do anything?

Clearly, I can't. And I'm not gonna tell you to do anything anymore.

I will not speak to you, OK?

- Jo... - Jo!

No, no, no. No, no, no.

You let her cool off, and then you can suck up to her later, OK?

I'm not sucking up to her. She can suck up to me.

And you wonder why you're not treated like an adult?

What does this have to do with being the youngest, Amy?

You almost burned down our family home.

We've got the right to be angry right now, not you.

Hey, did you get my text earlier?

Um, call me back when you get this, please.

I heard what happened.

- You OK? - Yeah.

I'm just shaken up, I guess.

Won't you need electricity to hang the Christmas lights?

Yes.

I hadn't thought of that.

God, that could have been really bad.

- Why doesn't Amy get that? - Because...

...as she never hesitates to remind any of us, she's 20.

- She knows everything. - [chuckles]

- in the name of helpfulness. - No. Not us.

- Hanging protest banners from the roof. - That wasn't me.

- Nobody can prove that was me. - Except me. I have pictures.

- You do? - Of course I do.

What do you think, we broke up and I erased you?

Wouldn't that be easier in some ways?

You know, you break up and press delete,

and then everything's gone.

I wouldn't want that.

Do you want to forget?

Well, I would like to forget

some of the things that I said to you.

- In the end, you know? - No.

I needed to figure out what I wanted and go after it.

Have you?

Yes.

[phone vibrates]

Dan, isn't it?

Yeah, but I can call him back.

No. Answer it. Tell him I said hi.

Hey.

It works. Great.

This is a little lawyer-interview-suit-y, but it's, I don't know,

- better than what you have. - Honestly, try to make it back without ruining it, please.

You realize if we put your closet on eBay, we'd be covered.

OK, yeah, this looks a little less masculine writer,

a little, you know, I don't know. But I think I'm good to go.

Oh, my God. No. Take that off.

Is someone talking? 'Cause I don't hear anyone.

- All right. - Jo, she's trying to help.

[Beth] Wow, OK. I like...

- I like that color. - Oh, my God. You are not wearing that.

This is loose. I always wear boots.

- She always wears boots. - Put these on.

Definitely heels...

...on an interview.

All right.

Wow! I can't believe we were gonna let her leave the house in that other outfit.

- So much better. - Yeah.

- Really? Really? - Yeah. You look amazing.

- [laughter] - So we're good now?

- No. - Jo!

- [Jo] House on fire! - Unbelievable.

Give her time.

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, no, I'm glad we're... I'm gonna have to call you back.

My appointment's here. Yeah. I'll call you back.

@Nataliaforreal? Is that you?

Uh, @Seanbr91 at the moment,

tweeting from my work at an orphanage in Haiti.

Natalia's on the West Coast, so I won't be hashtagging her for another few hours.

- She's not an early riser. - Right.

- @MarchJosephine. - The voice behind the tweeters.

Tweets. They're called... They're called tweets.

- Really? - Yeah.

You're kind of looking at me funny.

I guess I'm just trying to reconcile how the person who wrote those tweets

is the same woman who is writing this compelling historical novel

about four generations of women growing up in an old New England house.

My novel? How the hell did you get that?

You submitted your Natalia twitter feed and this manuscript.

Oh, my God.

That was an accident. Oh, my God!

Yeah. Was I not supposed to read the writing sample you sent to me?

I... I didn't... I...

Um, I'm so... I'm so mortified right now.

Can we just focus on the autobiography?

- The paycheck makes me care. - But it shouldn't.

She's a pop star. She's 19. Arguably, probably a very nice person, and talented, but...

Um, why, do you want to publish this?

I don't.

I'm very confused right now.

When I first took this job they told me I could take

this place in a more literary direction.

But, strangely, books that are enjoyable,

books that mean something, they don't keep the doors open.

So here I am, editing a cash cow of an auto-biography

in the hopes that, one day, I actually get to do something meaningful.

- Exactly. - What?

Cash, Mr. Bhaer. I need the cash.

I don't know. I guess I just thought the person who wrote this

was aspiring for something more.

Well, don't get on me for selling my soul

when yours has already been purchased.

Jo.

Jo... you're right.

And I'm sorry.

Those of us without souls

should not be so critical.

- I still have the job? - Yes.

Normally I would turn you down in a fit of righteous indignation,

Well, if I have to publish crap then you're just the woman to write it for me.

Outline by next week, manuscript by December 20th.

That's six weeks away.

You made me a vision board.

With your vision of what I should be doing.

But... I have a special twist on this one.

Great, special twist. Holding my breath.

Another board of things I'll never do.

OK. But do you see how this one is in black and white?

- I do, I do see that. - That's 'cause you get to color it in, with these!

- OK. - This is an achievement board.

It's how you make the vision a reality.

So every time you accomplish something that's on the board,

like, um, write an essay for a grad school application,

or, you know, you apply for a grant, then...

Let me guess, you have them listed too.

I do. Yeah.

So you do it, you color it in,

and then when you're done, you're left with this

beautiful, swirly pattern of accomplishments. It feels so good.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- Wow! - Well, I'm really glad that you're wowed, Beth,

because I just really do think that it's time.

- Time? - For you to move out, move on, next steps.

So I will just let you start then.

The first thing that you would color in is "receive board from Meg."

Right there.

Red. Red's good. OK.

- Yay, red! [laughs] - Yay, red!

Yay, red.

Look, if you're just gonna be whining the whole time

that you're not sitting under palm trees, then...

Can you hold on? Hold on one sec,

I got another call.

There isn't another call,

- is there? - You don't get it.

No, I don't.

But Dan's coming for Thanksgiving?

- That's great. - You don't think that.

What?

Hey, sorry, I'm back.

[chuckles] That was funny.

[phone rings]

- Teddy Lawrence! - You don't have to yell.

How else am I gonna get you to get it through your thick head that you can't buy...

- I did not buy. - ...charge....

I did not charge. I borrowed.

This is the Simpson's power washer,

the Englert's saw, the Lerner's sander.

All sitting in their garages begging for us to use them.

Oh, my God. So perfect.

- I know. - Why didn't I think of this?

Because I thought of it. And I'm brilliant.

See, I'm not completely useless.

- Where are you going? - Getting to work. Come. Carry.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

Natalia says she thwarted a riot?

I'm selling my soul for this!

I do have your first advance.

- Thank you. - I wish it could be more.

[hammering]

[clears throat]

[banging]

Oh, my God, what are you doing?!

- And the floors! - I said I was going to do the floors.

- Hey. - Look at this! Look what she's done!

- Let me talk. - No!

You know, Jo, I knew you were gonna do this.

- Do what? You're the one who... - Who found the hardwood

under the crappy linoleum and the hidden fireplace?!

How are we going to fix this too? I can't.

when this is sanded and stained and sealed, this could look really good.

OK, I have preprogrammed all my tweets for the next few days.

I am officially going off the grid to finish chapter four. Tell everyone else

- not to bother me! - Jo!

- You know what your uncle's going to say. - Have a drink?

No. Be a man. These girls need some help.

- [rock music plays] - What's under here?

♪ Peel back the layers Love ain't always what it seems ♪

♪ Peel back the layers Love ain't always made of dreams ♪

Oh, my God!

♪ You'll know exactly what I mean ♪

Oh, my God!

♪ Earn my treasure so all the world can see ♪

♪ Earn my treasures Baby, the best gifts are free ♪

♪ This Christmas, baby You're gonna give yourself to me ♪

♪ Bring back love Bring back the heart ♪

♪ Our generation's back where it starts ♪

♪ Risk it all and on the line ♪

♪ Open up your heart You'll never know just what you'll find ♪

[sighs] I can't.

I have a book to write, and my jobs to keep up with,

and a house that's getting worse and worse. I can't do it all.

- You don't have to do it all by yourself, Jo. - Really?

It was a great idea. It was a fantastic idea, like all your ideas.

- Says you. - Fine. You say it.

- I don't want to. - Do it.

You're amazing. Just say it.

- I have to work. - Say it or I'll serenade you.

- Teddy. - ♪ Jingle bells

♪ Jingle bells Jingle all the way ♪

I can do this all night. ♪ Oh what fun...

Stop, stop, stop! It was a good idea. It was a great idea.

Stellar idea. I am a world of great ideas.

Good girl.

You know, you always do this, right?

And in the end, it always works out.

I adore you, Teddy. You know that.

See, I always thought I was the one adoring you.

- I have to get back to this. - Right. Um...

Take the basket. It'll help.

What would I do without you?

Uh, starve. Languish. Die of boredom.

[laughs]

- [knocking] - Writing.

Hey, sorry. I know you're busy,

but this thing has been pinging like crazy..

Oh, no. No, no, no!

I didn't tweet this.

- Oh, that little bitch! - What? What's going on?

- You ruined me! - What?

You ruined me!

You have ruined paying for the house!

- You ruined everything! - I didn't do anything.

Don't lie on top of everything else! You tweeted as Natalia.

- What's going on? - Go on, tell Beth

how you ruined our chance to keep our home.

Tell her why we're losing our home!

I was angry, all right? You weren't talking to me.

So you go and do this? You ruin everything I've ever worked for!

You don't even care about this! Why don't you go write your book!

Well, Amy, I can't afford to think like that!

And if you weren't such a spoiled little brat, maybe you'd understand that.

How could you do something like that?

- Leave her alone, Meg. - It's not a big deal.

No, Amy, it's disloyal.

And something like this can never be un-done.

Ever.

Amy...

Mom wouldn't have wanted this.

I don't like being a grownup.

I know what you mean.

Come here.

It's gonna be OK.

- OK, careful, careful, careful! - We know to be careful.

You don't need to tell us to be careful.

We shouldn't even be doing this ourselves.

Well, we can't afford not to do it ourselves, thanks to Amy.

OK, so what we are gonna we do now?

You're so good at figuring everything else out,

Meg, I'm sure you can figure that out all by yourself.

- Beth, please! - What?

Guys, maybe I could rig something and...

No! We are not doing this half-assed! We're not rigging!

Everything she touches turns into a hazard zone. No more rigging!

[Mr. Lawrence] Girls, dinnertime!

- [all] Not hungry! - Come on in here!

It's Thanksgiving, I brought dinner!

Come on, or I'm gonna call your mother and tell her everything!

Right this way.

Sit wherever you like.

It's so beautiful, Mr. L.

But we thought, you know, if this is gonna be your last Thanksgiving in this house,

we wanted it to be one to remember.

Well, the plan wasn't to have it be our last Thanksgiving,

but Amy pretty much ruined that.

- That's not fair. - She just does whatever she wants,

without thinking about how it's going to turn out for anyone else.

Just, enough already. Please, both of you, enough!

At least I am who I am.

You hide, pretending to be other people all the time.

Who I am is earning a living for you, apparently.

- Can you pass the croissants? - If you're serious about actually earning a living, Jo,

maybe you'd call back that editor who keeps calling here

- and leaving messages every five seconds. - And tell him what?

My sister is a slut who posted naked pictures and ruined my life?

OK, that's enough. You both have rooms, why don't you go to them,

and cool off.

Come back when you're ready to eat.

I know. I promise you we will not eat without them.

I have a little surprise for you.

- Close your eyes. - Close my eyes?

OK.

Oh, Beth, this is amazing!

Oh, my gosh! I don't understand...

- I want you to have it. - [laughs]

Just think of it as an early Christmas present.

I can't... I can't believe this! Mr. L, I can't...

- I can't believe you did this! - Oh...

[playing classical music]

[squeaking]

Hey. Uh, you want to come over?

I'm sulking.

Seriously, Teddy, you don't want to be around me right now.

Jo, come on. It's freezing.

This might be our last Thanksgiving here. Please.

Hurry, I'm so cold. Take that, yes. Thank you.

[piano continues]

Hey. Where is everybody?

I don't know.

[moaning]

No! This is my parent's room!

I have good college memories of this room.

And voila!

You've gotta be kidding me.

What? We always decorate our tree the day after Thanksgiving.

- What is it, 12:01? - Yep, so I'm right on time.

Teddy, I don't know.

Remember these? The weird Shrinky Dink ones we made

- when we got loaded in high school? - Please, stop.

It's so screwed up and awful. [sighs]

Hey. Can I remind you how much you hated Natalia?

- But I liked having a job. - You'll have another job.

There is nothing that you cannot do, Jo March.

- Except for earning a living. - Except for that.

Oh, gosh! Teddy, Teddy, Teddy!

- Oh! No, don't! - You kissed me...

- You did. - I didn't mean to. I'm...

It's so late, and I think that we should just...

We should go to bed and then we can decorate

the Christmas tree in the morning and we'll just pretend this didn't happen.

I don't want to do that.

Yeah, you do.

I love you, Jo.

No. No, you don't.

You're the one for me.

OK? You've always been the one for me. You are my best friend.

You're my best friend, Teddy, but...

...I don't...

I don't feel that way about you.

And I just really don't think you feel that way about me.

- I don't believe you. - Teddy...

You have to.

There's someone else, isn't there?

- Of course not. - No.

There has to be. Something has changed.

Teddy, listen to me.

I don't want you to be upset.

And this doesn't have to ruin our friendship.

I don't want friendship. I want more.

I don't.

Teddy. Teddy!

Teddy, where are you going?

Teddy! Teddy!

Let's go get drunk.

[music plays]

- How you guys doing? - Good.

- Could I just see your ID, please? - Yeah.

Come on, man, it's the holidays.

No, it's fine.

Happy birthday.

- How about a birthday shot? - Yeah.

Everybody was a little bit distracted

by how pissed off they are at me,

so I'm not really expecting a birthday party.

- But I'm expecting you to buy. - Ha.

Of course you are.

Thank you.

Happy birthday... to me!

I sorry, I can't... get over the fact that I feel like I'm corrupting you.

What happened to you two tonight anyway?

You didn't actually tell her how you really feel, did you?

- Oh, you didn't. - Oh, I did.

Oh, I think you already know the answer to that one.

To you March sisters. Under my skin,

part of my stupid heart and soul.

There is nothing stupid about love, Teddy.

Nothing at all.

You did promise.

I can't believe you remember that.

I was... I was 12 years old,

and miserable about the way my front teeth looked

and this super cute high school senior guy

promises he's gonna kiss me? I mean, like that's not a pivotal moment.

Seriously?

Well, I mean, then you started calling me Chicklet,

and all your friends did.

And so my crush just went... Ooh!

No more Chicklet, I swear.

Thank you.

- Oh, no. We're not doing that. - Yeah. No.

- 'Cause that's... - Cliche.

- ...bad habit. - And, um, yeah...

I think I just drunkenly...

...tried to make good on my promise.

I mean, when you do kiss me, I want it to be...

- When I... - If.

It can't be while I'm on the rebound from your sister?

- I really need a drink. Now. - Yeah...

I'm gonna get you a beer at my house. [laughs]

And you better keep your hands off.

- OK. I'm good. - I'm just...

- Mm! This way. - I'm not...

[car approaching]

Oh!

Well, that didn't take long.

Oh, no! We didn't... This is not what you think.

It never is. I was up all night worried about you.

[moans] Good. You should be.

- Jo, we just had a couple... - Get out. There's someone at the door for me.

- Someone who's important to me. - Oh, really? Who would that be?

- Why do you care? - Why wouldn't I?

- He's my editor. - Oh.

- [doorbell rings] - OK. I'll get it.

- Teddy, get out. - No, it's really...

- Stop! Get out! - It's not a big deal.

Why are you doing this? Stop!

- Oh, hi! - Marcus, hi.

- Maybe kind of. - Oh, it's a great time. It's a wonderful time.

- Sorry, what was your name? - Uh, Marcus. And you're...

Just the boy next door. And I apologize.

We got sort of a late start this morning. Come on in.

- Maybe this was a bad idea. - Showing up on someone's doorstep

at 8:45 the morning the day after Thanksgiving?

I personally think that it's a novel idea.

I just, I happened to be at my aunt's house

in Concord for Thanksgiving dinner so I thought...

Really? Really? Do we believe that?

Teddy, if you're not going to be helpful, shut up.

Oh, I can be helpful. And useful. I'll go make coffee.

Jo, lots of cream, way too much sugar, that I know. Marcus?

- Huh? Uh, black. - OK, I'll be right back.

- But don't be going anywhere. - I wouldn't dare.

I'm so sorry, he's untrained and I'm not dressed.

- I sort of noticed that. - [laughs]

I didn't need you to come all the way over here to let me know that I screwed up.

- I know why Natalia fired me. - That's not why I'm here.

- It's not? - No, it's not. Actually, I'm here for this.

What are you doing?

[stammers] Oh, I'm making coffee.

No. You are not.

I don't know, Teddy.

You corrected my not-novel.

This is like getting a "D" in English lit all over again.

I didn't correct it. I edited it.

What?

I want to work on this with you.

I wanna get a couple sample chapters and give them to my boss.

- Seriously? - Yes, this is the kind of book I wanna work on.

This is the reason I took the job, this is what I want to persuade them to do.

- I love this. - But what about @Nataliaforreal?

I'm not interested in her.

What I am interested in is @MarchJosephine.

Sorry I took so long.

You guys go... [sighs]

So, what happens from here?

Well, I'm a good editor, but I gotta tell you that I don't pull any punches, OK?

This needs a lot of work. Unfortunately, I don't have any money for an advance.

And I really don't deal well with tears.

[grunts] Tears?

I'm sorry, have you met this woman?

- Teddy. - She's heartless.

- Shut up. - OK.

All right, why don't you look that over, and then if you want to work together,

- we should probably start soon. - What about tomorrow?

Tomorrow it is. Thanks for the coffee.

- You're welcome. - Go home, Teddy.

[loud crashing]

Oh, my God! Amy! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Get it off of her!

- Please! - [Meg] Beth, call 911!

- Teddy, grab the other side. - Amy, can you hear me?

I can't believe she tried to move this by herself!

Oh, God, the phone! The phone won't work down here!

Amy, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand. Oh, my God, Amy.

- Listen to me. - Jo, it's all right. OK? She's going to be fine.

Why don't... Just go talk to her.

- What do we do? - Amy.

If this is you not talking to me because we're fighting, you're not playing fair.

Amy, please!

- I can walk. - I know you can, just let me do this.

The doctor told us to watch over her very closely for the next 24 hours.

Because that's what I need, for you guys to draw on my face while I sleep.

No, Amy, this might be one of the only times that it's OK for us to treat you

- like a baby, OK? - Hey. Don't ever do that to me again.

when we were fighting like that...

I know you love me, Jo.

Even when you want to kill me, I know.

- Should we talk about...? - [phone vibrates]

Sorry.

No, it's OK, take it. You should tell him she's OK.

- Tell who? - Dan.

No, that wasn't Dan. We broke up.

[sighs]

[all] Happy birthday, Amy!

Now you can use your real ID!

- I thought you guys forgot. - Come on, never!

Where's Teddy?

He'll be by later.

- Give me a wish! - ♪ Amy makes the world go round ♪

[cheering, laughing]

[playing soft music]

I hate that Mom and Dad are going to come home and we'll have made this place worse

- than it was when they left. - No, that's not gonna happen.

- Why? - 'Cause they put me in charge.

Oh, Beth, that reminds me.

Where are you on that Julliard application?

Just because Mom put you in charge of the house

does not mean you're in charge of my life.

Beth, if you would just listen to me for five minutes, all I'm trying...

- [overlapping chatter] - Stop it! Stop it! Stop!

I know that I'm letting you down and, trust me,

I hate that I'm letting you down, but I'm not Juilliard Girl.

I am not Philharmonic girl. And I am definitely not the girl who gets the grants!

- Who says? - My teachers, my college evaluations.

Basically, everyone!

- Snow! - Are you seeing snow? Do we need to call the doctor?

[Amy] No... Look at the window.

Wow! Look, look!

Hey, I wanna see.

- [laughing] - I love the first snow.

- Mm-hm. - It makes it seem like

- everything's going to be all right. - Mm-hm.

- That's what Mom always says. - Yeah.

Do you guys remember when we were little and she would wake us up

in the middle of the night so we could go outside to drink cocoa?

- Yeah! - Do you remember how upset she would get

when Teddy and I would start a snowball fight?

- Yeah. - It was annoying.

- No, it wasn't! - And then she'd win.

Which she almost always did.

This can't to be our last Christmas at Orchard House.

- Hey. - Oh, hi.

I just wanted to check in and see if you needed anything.

No, I'm good. But thanks for checking.

You're good? Come on, Meg...

They're cold in there and I said I'd make them...

- Stop. - [laughs] OK.

I have something I need to say.

OK.

It's you and me, Meg.

- It's always been you and me. - John...

And even if you tell me to go away right now, it'll still be you and me.

I love you.

I know this is fast.

I don't want to waste another moment with us not being together.

- John... [gasps] - This was my grandmother's.

Maybe you want something new, and if you do, I promise you I'll buy that for you.

[sobbing] John, stop! Oh, my God!

I'm... I'm not the same person that I was in college.

I'm not even the same person that I was two months ago.

And I don't need a big diamond at all.

I... I just need you.

- You do? - Yeah, I do.

- Marry me, Meg March. - I will.

Meg, what is taking so...?

Don't mind me. You can just keep kissing.

No, Jo, don't. Jo, wait! I have a question.

How do you feel about, um,

really ugly dresses that you can't wear again?

I hate them. Why?

- [laughs] - So I'm really happy

to see the end of Douche Bag Dan.

What?! Welcome to the family!

- You never forget, do you? - Never.

It's blank.

Do whatever you want.

Just don't leave it blank, OK?

OK.

Well, I was thinking of cutting it. That part.

Um... it's a little too weird maybe?

Orchard House itself is a voice in the story.

Yes, it is a little weird, but it's good weird.

- It's compelling weird. - So, what's the problem?

You. You're doubting yourself,

and it's showing through in the writing. So don't doubt this.

And don't doubt you.

It's kind of hard not to doubt myself

when there's more red ink on the page than black ink.

Look, Jo, this is who you are underneath the Jo you show the rest of the world.

It's not Natalia, it's not Sean, it's not Curtis.

This is you.

And I kind of like getting to know you.

I'm betting the rest of the world will too.

I just... I don't know what to say.

- I'm not done. - I'm sure you're not.

But I have to go. My sister's play opens tonight

and I am blood-bound to give the props mistress's assistant a standing ovation.

- What play? - Twelfth Night.

Ah, yes. "With adoration, with fertile tears,

with groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire."

- You know it? - Absolutely.

You mind if I come?

[indistinct chatter]

- Hello, Beth! - Hello.

- Mr. Lawrence! - The lovely Miss Meg March, ladies and gentlemen.

Well, not "Miss" for very much longer.

- [laughter] - Wow. I'm impressed.

- Oh, thank you! - Congratulations!

That's a very good man you have here.

- Thank you. - Yes, he is.

Thumbs up.

Poor Teddy.

- Hey. - We're gonna go sit.

- Can we sit here? - We saved these.

- You did? Great. - Yes.

Uh, I wanted to see the view from behind the scenes.

- You're spying on Jo, aren't you? - Yeah.

Why? You knew she'd be here. Why'd you come?

'Cause I promised you I would.

And I've been trying to keep all my promises these days.

Plus, I didn't realize she was gonna bring a date.

OK.

Just stay back here, OK?

Watch. Don't touch anything.

M-O-A-I.

This simulation is not as the former.

for every one of these letters is in my name.

Soft! Here follows prose.

"If this fall into thy hand, resolve.

In my stars I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness."

- [music fades in] - ♪ Let love in

♪ Let the rollercoaster

♪ Start twisting and bending ♪

♪ On the other side of the ocean wide ♪

♪ When you least expect The intersecting lines ♪

- [laughter] - ♪ Crossing in time

[actor continues speaking]

♪ And a knock upon your door ♪

♪ Is the one that you've been waiting for ♪

♪ And you never been so sure ♪

♪ You never been so sure So you let love in ♪

It's so cheesy, but I love Christmas.

Yeah? Me too. Movies and Chinese food.

- Oh, you're Jewish. - Yep.

For me, every year at Christmas is a party at Fu's Palace.

I have always wanted to try that restaurant.

No, you gotta get the scallion pancakes, dumplings, the chicken in lettuce cups.

Now? You haven't talked to me in two weeks.

Please, Jo. I just...

I need to talk to you.

- It's fine. - No, it's not.

- I was going to drive you to your car. - It's OK, I'm a big boy.

I'll just send you the edits, OK?

No, you don't have to do this.

[scoffs] Unbelievable!

I'm sorry to interrupt your... date, or whatever it was.

- Teddy. - I can't lose you, Jo.

I can't not have you in my life.

There are no... sighs of fire.

- Sighs of fire? I've no clue... - You're gonna burn for somebody, someday, Teddy.

That poor girl... That girl is not me.

I'm not quite sure I agree with you on that.

But for your sake, for our sake,

I'll... try.

Always.

Oh, yeah, the... 152,742.

- What? - "Be Santa" toys donated, and counting.

I am so proud of you!

- It was your brilliant idea. - But you made it happen.

You want to stay over?

Yes. As long as it's not that stupid Woody Allen musical...

- Christmas in Paris? - That one.

It's a Wonderful Life, Christmas Vacation, The Re.

- Oh, OK, The Ref is genius. - [laughs] I'll go get the popcorn.

OK, good.

[upbeat music plays]

[inaudible chatter]

Jo, hi. I didn't realize we had an appointment.

We don't.

I have just been working and re-working the chapters,

and I thought maybe you could key in to what it needs.

You could have just emailed me, you know.

Yeah, but there's no caffeine involved with that.

Do you not want to work on the book with me?

I just think that we should work from a distance.

I don't... I don't get it.

We had a moment.

I think we should just keep this professional.

I... I never realized that I was being unprofessional.

I've had a lot of moments go wrong in my life,

and if I can save myself from a little bit of pain,

I'm going to do it. All right, so I've got a meeting.

But email me the chapters and I'll look them over.

[indistinct chatter]

that we're gonna put all the money into the house?

- I didn't that memo. - [chuckles] Mr. L...

No, no, no. They're not from me.

- They're from me. - But Beth, we had a deal.

All the money was gonna be going into the house.

I didn't spend any money, I swear.

OK. Well, since we have the tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve, let's do it.

- Yes! - Alrighty.

This is for you, Amy.

Yes, please, that's for Meg.

Here you are.

This is for you, Jo Jo.

- Beth. - Your first drawing of Orchard House.

And that's to remind you of the scales of justice.

It's beautiful! Looks like it's 100 years old. Where did you get this?

The attic. In all that junk piled in there, there were a few treasures.

Oh, my gosh!

- My diaries. - Really? What did you write about me?

- No, no, no, no! - So you can listen any time.

- That's for me? - Yep.

Sweetheart. Thank you so much.

- Merry Christmas, Mr. L. - Merry Christmas, Beth.

- [doorbell rings] - Pizza!

No, no, no!

No, no, no, no, you're not! You're not paying!

- No, no! - Delivery!

- Dad! Dad! - Jo.

Oh, my gosh! Oh!

Oh, my gosh!

[all laughing, chattering]

How are you? Merry Christmas.

[chatter continues]

How are you? Merry Christmas.

- Welcome home. - Good to see you.

Margaret, you didn't tell me you renovated the Orchard House.

I didn't. what happened here?

Well, we all helped out, and Mr. Lawrence offered moral support.

- [laughter] - Am I to understand that my four little girls

- remodeled Orchard House? - We're not little girls. We're grown women.

- [laughter] - And Orchard House will always be our home.

- Mm-hm. - Yep.

[plays Christmas music]

[gasps] Meg! It's beautiful. Truly.

Oh!

I'm so impressed at all the work you girls have done.

The realtor will be really impressed.

- Mom, can't you...? - We didn't do it for the realtor.

Actually, we were hoping that because of the work...

And she'll also be very disappointed that we won't

be putting the house on the market.

- Really? - I can't promise

- that it's forever. - Well, will me paying rent help?

- [Margaret] Paying rent? - I got a job.

Don't freak out. It's a little job.

Music classes for kids at the community center.

but right now this is exactly what I want to be doing.

All I want is for my daughters to be strong, happy,

and to stay single and live at home with me for the rest of their lives.

- Oh! Robert! - Is that too much?

- Yes. - Oh, yes!

I think this calls for more rum in the eggnog.

You need any help?

Pouring booze? I think I got it.

You, uh, look...

...beautiful.

I... made you a promise.

And I would like to... keep that promise.

Only if you mean it.

I'm sorry, just not like this.

- With the mistletoe... - Listen.

I'll be here.

Merry Christmas, Amy.

Merry Christmas, Teddy.

[laughter]

- OK. - Merry Christmas.

[Amy] Jo?

I'm gonna be there in a second. I'm just looking for something.

- And that would be? - Just something.

It's something that I... can't find.

Jo, what's going on?

- Jo-Jo. - Are you OK?

- Jo! - I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm really happy. I'm working more,

and Dad's home, and we get to keep the house.

But I don't know, I just feel...

Like something's missing?

Or someone.

The editor. Right?

I can't.

I want to be with him, but I can't. I'm not ready.

[laughs] Oh, God!

Love is so stupid.

But I think that I'm in it.

So then what are you doing here? Go.

Go.

Aren't you supposed to be surrounded by your friends and family,

watching a Yule log burn or something?

...I suddenly got this urge to have scallion pancakes, with you.

You know, I was going to call you after the holiday.

I'm sure you say that to all the girls.

I have good news. My boss likes the chapters.

What are you doing? Don't you have anything to say?

It's a lot easier when I write it down

and then you scribble all over it with red pen

and tell me what I was really trying to say, OK?

Oh, right.

We did.

Let me see the chalk.

I think it reads better like that, don't you?

What about Teddy?

He's the boy next door.

Well, then, Merry Christmas, @MarchJosephine.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la ♪

[laughter, chatter]

- This is my editor. - Hi.

- Hello, how are you? - How's it going?

- Good to see you. - Mom.

- How are you? - My dad.

Hi. Marcus. Pleasure to meet you.

He's my editor.

[Christmas music plays]

Whoo-hoo!

Faster.

Why are you doing this?

Merry Christmas!

[man vocalizing]

♪ My favorite time of year with you ♪

♪ The perfect kind of winter

♪ And I know that you remember too ♪

♪ There is magic in December

♪ And it snowed when we kissed ♪

♪ All the bells rang too

♪ But you're gone and I think ♪

♪ It took Christmas with you

♪ Why aren't the snowflakes coming down? ♪

♪ Coming down, coming down Tell me ♪

♪ Why aren't you holding me right now? ♪

♪ Tell me why, tell me why Baby ♪

♪ You are the only thing that ever felt like ♪

♪ Christmas to me

♪ And if you were here

♪ It would finally feel like Christmas this year ♪

♪ Last year the city hung up lights ♪

- ♪ Earlier than ever - ♪ Earlier than ever

♪ And I remember holding hands at night ♪

♪ We were snuggling together

♪ In the snow when we kissed ♪

♪ All the bells rang too

♪ But you're gone and I think ♪

♪ It took Christmas with you

♪ Why aren't the snowflakes coming down? ♪

♪ Coming down, coming down Tell me ♪

♪ Why aren't you holding me right now? ♪

♪ Tell me why, tell me why Baby ♪

♪ You are the only thing that ever felt like ♪

♪ Christmas to me

♪ And if you were here

♪ It would finally feel like Christmas... ♪