Original subtitles

� Introducing �

� Whoo! �

� Come on, the one and only �

Woman: I've never seen anything like it.

��

Okay, today, we are shooting

in a waiting room of a medical center.

We've taken over the whole place.

I hired receptionists to answer phones

and help the people that walk in.

I'm gonna be the person that walks in.

Here we go.

Okay, Sam.

I have you right in front of me. It says 4:30.

Yes, sir.

Hi. How are you?

Good, how are you?

I'm doing well. I don't have an appointment.

I'm just here to leave some samples for Dr. Connor.

Okay, and may I have your name?

Yes.

It's Jerry...

Jerkins.

J-e-r-k-i-n-s.

That one I can spell.

Yes, that's an easy one. And, um...

I, uh...

Uh... well, maybe...

Can I borrow a spoon?

Ye-- Whatever you need to do.

Thanks.

��

I got the total face rejuvenation.

You look great. Thanks.

Why? What'd you look like before?

Pbht! [ Chuckles ]

That is -- That is another story, let me tell you.

But it works -- it works good. I'm having just --

If you want to let him know that the left is going fine.

Okay, let me -- I have to write this down. Okay, so left --

Left is going okay,

and the right's just getting, like, right...

Left is okay, right is what?

Does it -- Like, does it look a little pinkish right there?

Okay. 'Cause the air gets in there.

But you know what?

I'm gonna leave it, 'cause he said to leave one,

so I'm gonna leave one of them in there.

But the other one's

acting, like, totally fine, okay?

I have some, uh, saline if you want to...

Yeah, other than that, you know...

Okay.

That should be good, right?

All righty, so...

Keep that swishing around, and then that should be pretty good.

The only other thing, and if you talk to him,

just tell him the seam on the nose.

All right, so, I've got left --

left is okay, right eye is a little pinkish,

and seam on the nose is what?

It's just -- I think it looks visible.

Do you see it?

Like this on...

It's just -- I would just say "visible seam."

Like, when I pull like this,

it's like I can get this part to come off,

and I want the right...

I want that to stay...

When that goes on, [Sniffling]

it stays legit, right?

Okay, now --

[ Sneezes ] Maybe sneeze...

Now it looks a little over.

It looks a little over, right? Yeah.

Now you've got it kind of like this. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. Hold on. Okay.

Is that better?

Bit more straight?

It looked better before.

Did it? Yes.

Now you can you tell. Now your nose is like --

Okay, well, then tell him that, too.

Okay. Nose... Seam in the nose.

I'll leave you with this just 'cause I'm gonna be back later,

so, you know, that'll be...

Oh, my God. [ Muffled ] It's okay.

��

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

...flipping when I'm trying to talk and eat.

Okay? Okay, so, wait a minute.

Now you put that in there. Now what are you gonna --

I can put that in there with the eye, it's fine.

You can? Okay. Yeah.

That's 'cause it's both saline-based.

Okay. I have --

All the facial rejuvenation parts are saline-based.

Okay. So everything keeps clean

with the same kind of ordinary eye stuff.

That's why it's so good.

So what are you gonna do now for the...

until you get this stuff back?

Well...

Yeah, that's the thing.

That becomes difficult.

I'm gonna come back tonight. He said I can come tonight.

Okay, all right.

So, yeah.

Okay. Very good.

You know what? Yeah.

If he knows I'm here, maybe he'll know --

Mr. Jerkins. Oh, hey.

Dr. Connor was just talking about --

We will see you right now. Oh, great. Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

You can leave that in there.

And then I'll leave this.

If you see Dr. Connor also,

if you get the orthopedic surgeon.

I'm gonna leave this one for him, okay?

Just let him look at it and let him know what happened, okay?

Your nose looks a little crooked. That's what people are saying.

Yeah?

[ Speaks indistinctly ]

Exam room 4.

��

2:00 for Brian Jergins?

Okay. All righty.

Thank you.

Living Green. [ Chuckles ]

Okay.

Well, Women's Modern Medicine or Living Green.

You're gonna go with Living Green?

[ Both chuckle ]

Okay.

��

[ Clears throat ]

Do you know if the doctor's running late

or if, um... whoops.

Or if they're on time? Yeah.

To be honest with you, I'm not sure.

That's okay. I have a little bit of time.

Okay. Oops, sorry.

��

Travel.

��

Are you --

[ Chuckles ]

There are so many of these little...

I'm sorry.

It's a -- That's a lot for one book.

Yeah.

I think because of the Internet, maybe,

magazines are probably getting a little more aggressive

because... [ Laughs ]

You know, people aren't used to...

oops.

��

Sorry, here.

That is really weird.

Kind of give it a little wiggle.

I've never seen that many in one book.

Well, you -- you turn the page

and then shake, it seems.

So... That is so weird.

Yeah. That is insane.

I mean, it feels a little strange.

��

Yeah. Feels thicker, right?

Yeah. Yeah, and it --

So kind of stretch it out and shake.

Just kind of grabbing the spine and pulling.

Maybe you got them all out.

Maybe, yeah.

That's weird.

That was a lot of post things.

Oh, no, here. I saw a page that had...

That has a whole thing in it.

A what? Look.

Oh.

��

Looks like a cologne sample.

I didn't even see that in there.

Yeah.

Just 'cause they're so thick, I think.

Yeah, I was pulling the spine open.

Just keeping it pulled. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, there we go. Is that it?

Nope.

This is insane. I'm really sorry.

No, it's okay.

That is so weird.

Mr. Jergins? Yes?

Okay. All right, I am...

Uh, I'm sorry.

Here, I'll put this back.

Okay.

[ Sighs ] I'm really sorry.

That's okay.

��

��

If you could just sign in for me.

Oh, sure thing. Let me just get...

just make sure she's good.

Okay. Let's see.

The first one, write your name.

You got it. Okay.

Is this good?

Sophie. Sophie.

I'm sorry.

Okay. Thank you, though.

You're welcome. Thank you.

Sophie, what was that?

Who's talking like that?

Who's talking like that?

Sophie, are you thirsty?

There you go. Come on now. There here go. Come on.

Ah, ah!

Here we go. Good Sophie.

Good Sophie.

Okay. Good.

Come on. Good girl.

There we go, yes, we like we see that.

That's a good little girl.

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Yeah.

Soon as she gets water, she's like, "Okay, I'm hungry."

You have pets?

No. I have children.

Children? That's harder, probably.

It's like pets.

It's like pets.

She doesn't need the glove.

I just use it for her because that's how she learned.

Okay.

You ready, honey? Here we go.

Are we looking? We're looking?

Here we go. Come on. That's for you.

[ Growling, carrier rattling ] Good girl.

Okay, that's a good girl.

All right. That's right.

Oh, my gosh.

Did not get me, did not get me.

Doing good. Doing very, very good.

Okay. Can I close this?

Yeah.

Doctor: Mr. Jergins?

Ah, yes? We're ready.

Okay, excellent.

Um...I'm gonna...

yeah, I'm probably just gonna be in there like 10 minutes.

Can I leave her up here with you?

No.

Really? She fine after she eats.

No, I don't think so. Really?

Yeah. Okay, I'll let her -- You know what I'll do?

I'm gonna let her out just to walk around,

'cause otherwise, she'll get really upset inside there.

'Cause after she eats, she can get really cranky.

Here we go. Come here, honey.

Oh, hi.

What are you doing?

Oh, yeah.

Look at you. Ooh.

She's four pounds, but she can be --

she can be a handful.

Look at you, doing good.

Do you want -- You want to hold her?

No, I don't like dogs.

Oh, my goodness. [ Laughs ]

Okay, we're gonna let her sit here, then, and she'll be fine.

No following me,

and we're good now because we ate.

We are good now 'cause we ate.

We are good now 'cause we ate!

��

[ Imitates air blowing ]

[ Imitates balloon squeaking ]

It's a little dog.

[ Imitates dog barking ]

Michael: That's so much tinsel. What are you gonna do?

Yeah. You're going crazy today.

Yeah. Y'all don't have, like, green or blue, right?

These are awesome. I just got these in.

I was setting up this little display up. Isn't that cute?

Oh, yeah, that is really cute. It's called Dom Poppingnon.

Have you seen the commercials for this stuff? No.

Do you ever see them work? You haven't seen them work?

Nah, I've never seen them work.

Okay, watch. You take one of the balloons,

and they have these tiny, little bottles on there.

And you do them one at a time. Here, hold on to that.

Okay. All right.

And it's made of some kind of, like, combustion plastic.

Okay. Here, I'm gonna stretch it. Drop it inside.

All right. Just drop it in there?

Yeah. Okay. Oh, my God.

I'm like, "Can it drop in that?"

Yeah, it goes down into the bottom.

Oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah, you blow it up.

Uh-huh.

And the pressure from all the air around it...

Yeah.

It will pop in there?

It kind of breaks, like, inside of a glow stick.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

So once it's... [ Rattling ]

You hear it? Yeah.

Yeah, the bottle gets decompressed,

and you can leave that in there for the whole party... Oh, that is pretty cool.

and if people don't know what it is, it's great.

You have them, like, shaking it, and you show them what it is. Yeah.

And then when you're ready to do it, you take,

like, a pen or something to pop it, and...

��

Ohh! Yeah.

No way! Isn't that great?

No way. Michael: I know, I know.

No, no, no, no, no way. I know.

I'm loving it.

Isn't that sick? Hold on. I got to get me one of these.

You just freaked me out.

Yeah, I know. OMG, no.

No, no, no, no, no. I know!

And it's actually -- I can't get over this right now.

You can drink this, too?

Yeah, we'll make custom ones for people.

Wow, that's pretty cool.

Oh, y'all can do custom stuff like that?

Yeah, custom. Oh, that's pretty awesome.

So, when you pop it, how do you grab it?

Well, that's the hard part. You try to reach for the center.

I don't know which one is in this, but let me try.

You just kind of reach...

Oh!

Ohh.

How do y'all do this?

Wow, this had a whole glass in there.

Whoops. This is amazing. Oh, my God.

Smell that. That's the real deal.

Oh, my God!

You know what?

Let me go get the price, 'cause we were just scanning this.

Hold on. This is amazing.

Nobody would never believe this.

��

That is dope.

I got to get this.

I got to get it. I got to.

All right.

You have got it.

That is a lot of green beads.

Oh, my gosh, and take a piece of this with you.

We're promoting this.

We're gonna start selling it for $40 a piece, so...

Yeah, right. No, well, we're testing it first,

but if it works, we'll do it.

It apparently, like, will never lose its flavor.

It's like a piece of gum you can use again and again and again.

No way. Yeah.

Be very careful with the paper.

Don't rip the paper at all.

Oh, 'cause you want to keep it in there later?

Yeah. The paper's what...

So interesting.

Yeah, if you save the paper...

��

...just stick it in there,

and then it will re-wrap itself.

And then you can open it again the next day.

Sickest thing, right?

Did it really just, like, re-wrap?

Isn't that insane?

And the paper's memory paper.

So the gum will -- This is really cool.

Yeah.

I never even, like, thought of that or anything.

Yeah. People use them as party favors.

This is the future. This is the futu--

This is the future right here. Really is.

And they have a little, uh, whatchamacallit inside,

a little comic book inside.

Not a comic book, but a comic. Yeah.

You ever seen when gum comes,

it has that whitish powder?

Mm-hmm. Feel that. It makes it soft.

Yeah.

That's what helps the memory paper work.

Here, like, watch.

If it knows something's in there, watch, I can trick it, like...

��

Oh. Right?

Yeah. Okay, hang on one sec.

I'm gonna check the price on this one.

Enjoy that.

[ Chuckles ]

I'll be back.

All right.

��

Well, howdy.

How are you doing? Good, how you doing?

Good to see you. What are you getting there?

Beer boot. Beer boot.

Okay, good. Oh, careful. Yikes.

I should actually not keep these here.

[ Chuckles ]

They don't let us sell them to anyone

unless they're over 21.

I know, it's a sticker that --

it's like, who plays with stickers unless you're...

Okay. You haven't seen that?

No, I never saw a 21-and-up-sticker, no.

Yeah, 21-and-over stickers.

They're pretty insane.

See, the confetti is, like, trapped inside.

Oh, what do they think they're gonna do with it?

Yeah.

Well, it's infused...

So, watch this. If you take --

It's infused with gunpowder and gelatin.

So if you squeeze it...

It's pops. ...it'll pop.

Oh, that's cool. [ Laughs ]

Isn't that something? Yeah.

Check that out. Oh, that is so cool.

It's like right through there, right?

Yeah, kids were sticking them on themselves,

so that's why it's only -- That makes sense now, okay.

Yeah. Here, watch.

I'm gonna do one again. You know where they --

Do you know where they work really well is, like,

on a book or something --

if you put them on something solid.

And you can leave it there, you won't know.

And it won't -- It won't go off on its own.

That's what I love.

And then, it's like you kind of give it a squeeze.

Here, check this out. Okay, ready?

It won't go unless I give it a little...

Isn't that something? You'll scare the crap out of somebody.

Oh, shoot, look what it did to the book?

That's crazy. Yeah.

If that was your skin... Yeah.

...you know...

That would've caused some damage to a kid.

Yeah.

You know what works good?

You know, I bet if I did it into my wallet...

I wouldn't try. You wouldn't do it?

No, I wouldn't try that.

Yeah, but it's not gonna be able to break through there.

It shouldn't break it, but...

I'm gonna --

I'll keep it to use for later, you know what I mean?

I just think it'd be pretty cool.

Whoa. [ Laughs ] See -- Oh, [bleep]

What happened?

Oh, shoot.

Oh, man!

Oh [bleep]

Oh, my gosh.

Oh [bleep]

Hang on one second. [ Sighs ]

Donna!

Those confetti stickers --

they can really destroy stuff.

��

[Bleep]

��

Oh, man.

She just -- You know what?

She just said this is like something

you'd see on "The Carbonaro Effect."

[ Laughs ] Yeah. Wait, do you know that?

Yeah, it sounds like something like, um...

like a spy thing?

Have you seen that show? No.

"The Carbonaro Effect."

I thought you was -- I thought I knew what you were, but no.

Oh, oh, "The Carbonaro Effect"

is a hidden-camera, magic TV show

that you are on right now.

[ Laughs ]

Yes. Are you serious?

I'm a magician.

[ Laughs ]

Dude.

My microphone.

Dude.

[ Laughs ]

You blew my whole mind. Yeah?

Oh, my God. What did you think?

That was pretty good. That was pretty cool, right?

How did you do that?

Darren: Ah, Jeffery, I see the problem.

Hey, this is my buddy Darren here.

We're at the Chicago History Museum.

Darren has been sealed into concrete,

he's been turned into bugs.

Tonight, electricity at the Tesla exhibit.

It'll be shocking. You ready for this?

I am ready. Yeah.

Let's do this.

Michael: Here we go. Nikola Tesla.

Man: That's fantastic.

Super cool. That's super cool.

Yeah, um...I'm sorry. What was your name?

I'm Darren. Darren. Nice to meet you, Darren.

Michael. Michael?

Yeah. I'm Jeffery.

Jeffery. Darren's an electrician.

Thank you for coming so late at night.

Is this your hat? That is my hat.

Please, not on the exhibit.

Why don't you come around to this side of the table there?

This is --

You guys are actually one of 30 people who have seen this.

This is -- This is Tesla's journal.

That's fantastic.

And it was burned in a barn fire,

and this is an actual newspaper from the time.

And I don't know how much you know about Tesla, but...

I go to Park. I'm studying physics.

Oh. Oh, mint. Okay, good.

Well, the Feds wouldn't let the museums have any of his stuff

for a really long time after he died.

Why? It was too powerful. Well, because --

Like, FDR had all this stuff about believing

in breaking through the time continuum,

so we said, "Well, if it's burned and destroyed,

then why can't we just put it on display?"

Yeah, like, no one's gonna touch it. Exactly.

So, we're running electricity through it,

and it does light up

when we put just regular voltage through.

And if you want, guys, you can take a picture.

Y-Yes. Yes. But don't -- no, wait a minute.

Don't post it until after -- I don't post anything.

Okay. That's not --

Technically, no one's... yeah.

Yeah, I have a whole crate. I feel foolish.

I've just given you these cards to do,

but here, let me put this back over here.

All right.

You know, when I first, like, accepted this job, I was like,

"All right, I'm just gonna be doing random things."

No problem. And this is...

it makes it all so much better.

Yeah, cool. You get to do something cool, right?

Fantastic. Oh, super cool.

All right, well, I'm gonna get that crate of stuff

for you to inventory for me,

and I will be right back.

See this thing... where'd he put it?

Oh, there it is.

So, I may ask you to help me with this --

the regulator thing? There's three positions on it.

There's off and variable and then full.

So do you mind holding on to that?

I'll go up there and then... Just let me know.

Yeah.

It's off now, right? Yes.

The middle switch, it's off?

Yes. You want --

You want to turn that to variable, that switch?

All right. It's on variable.

And the dial's all the way down, though, right?

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Turn it up to, uh...

just try, like, 70.

Turn the dial to, like, 70.

Is it up? Yes.

Nothing.

I'm not sure they connected it up there is the problem.

Turn it up a little bit higher.

All right.

Yeah, I'm at 100. Want me to go...?

Ah, Jeffery, I see the problem.

They've got an old cable connect--

[ Electricity humming ]

Darren?

Whoa, what was that sound?

It was that. I turned it off.

This went on? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh, great! Where's, uh...

Darren might be blind back there,

'cause that was really bright.

Where is he?

He was -- It was -- He was on the ladder.

I don't know what happened to him.

��

I was right here.

Right, right, right. You were looking at --

Wait, where did he have you put this on?

Where was this one on? This?

It wasn't -- wasn't working when it was on variable.

We put it to full, 100, still wasn't working.

Raised it a little higher, went to 120,

that's when you heard everything and I turned it immediately off.

But this made power. Yeah.

So he must have made some kind of connection or something.

No, it lit up.

The reason why -- he said it wasn't working

'cause there's old wire connected to a new wire.

Oh.

Okay, and he left? 'Cause I didn't see him?

I don't -- he teleported. I have no idea where he went.

'Cause he was on the ladder when the light went off,

and now he's gone. Wait, the lights went off?

No, that light -- the, uh...

��

Wh--

It flashed.

It was super bright, and I couldn't look at it.

And so I turned back, and I turned it off.

There was a super bright flash? These have to be covered.

If that goes back on,

because this -- these -- this isn't UV glass...

��

Jeffery: That's Darren.

��

What's going on? What the --

What's going on? What the [bleep]

I'm sorry. Did you touch the inside?

No, I did not. I did not touch any of it.

You didn't touch any of the artifacts. I didn't touch nothing.

I don't... What?

Hold on a second. Wait, no.

No. No, no one touched -- no. No.

Are you -- No, stop.

What the hell is going on? Stop.

No.

Okay. No.

Wait, wait, wait. Did you take a picture?

I -- I definitely took a picture.

I definitely took a picture.

See, look at this. Look at that.

Right there. All right there.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

'Cause this is restored.

Michael: Wait, wait, wait, wait. See, this is...

Tragedy was avoided last night,

electrical fire broke out in Tesla's lab, engulfing...

��

Invention -- What the f--

��

So, what, did he go back in time and fix...

That'd be super fantastic because now --

No one's gonna believe me. I don't care. I have pictures.

One, boom, boom, ha, ha.

Is that possible? I...

With enough energy -- I mean -- Not with this.

But you said it has a bunch of things in there.

Yeah, they rewired it. Yeah, so --

So maybe the old and the new together

could've caused the Carbonaro Effect.

Have you heard of that?

I have -- I have, but I don't know anything about it.

One of my physics professors...

You've heard of the Carbonaro Effect?

"The Carbonaro Effect" is the name of a hidden-camera,

magic TV show...

��

...that you're on right now.

What? No, you're messing with me.

I am. Yes, but...

My name's Michael Carbonaro.

I'm a magician.

You're on my TV show, "The Carbonaro Effect," right now. No.

Yes. What?

Yes. What?!

Yes! This is the show. That was fantastic.

Dude, you were awesome. That was fantastic.

You were fantastic.

Oh. [ Laughs ]