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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,966 [man] Hey! 2 00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,219 Hey. 3 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:12,054 For those of you who watched last week 4 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,722 and don't have drug-induced brain damage, 5 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,057 you can skip the next 30 seconds. 6 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,725 You don't have to watch that shit. 7 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:17,518 - [man shouts] - The rest of you losers... 8 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,977 here you go. 9 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:21,813 Sparky, Shelly. Shelly, Sparky. 10 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:22,814 She's your boss. 11 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,233 Well, vice boss. 12 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:27,069 I made a little arrangement with Larry. 13 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,071 - So you're mine now. - [Mickey] You were right. 14 00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,239 We got to kill her. 15 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:31,573 If you want Todd, 16 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:32,491 you're gonna have to go through me. 17 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,451 His manager. That's who. 18 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,245 [Claudia] Do you want to go upstairs? 19 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,996 We could kick off these heels, 20 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,790 raid the minibar, and check out the view. 21 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,708 I left you a little something on the nightstand. 22 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,961 ♪ rock music ♪ 23 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,588 [Carl] Saw an old lady get shot 24 00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,090 at the Ashcroft bus stop last night. 25 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,133 You know, the streetlights were out. 26 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,719 You did a good thing, Citizen Carl. 27 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:53,762 Got involved. 28 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,931 Made a change. 29 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:56,890 Do you want to join me? 30 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,643 - Faye Donahue. - Frank Gallagher. 31 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,895 Let's go to my place and eat this Greek food. 32 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,063 You live in your car? 33 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,648 Indeed I do. 34 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:14,449 ♪ rock music ♪ 35 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:18,787 ♪♪♪ 36 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,956 ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ 37 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:25,085 ♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪ 38 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:28,213 ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ 39 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:32,467 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 40 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:35,846 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 41 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,308 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 42 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,435 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 43 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:45,981 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 44 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:51,111 ♪♪♪ 45 00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:56,658 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 46 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:59,578 ♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪ 47 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,080 ♪ You were willing once before ♪ 48 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:06,918 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 49 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:10,213 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 50 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,924 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 51 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:16,053 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 52 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,514 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 53 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:23,518 ♪ pounding rock music ♪ 54 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:27,731 ♪♪♪ 55 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:31,568 [Paula whistling idly] 56 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,160 [toilet flushes] 57 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,374 [coughs] 58 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,042 [gasps] 59 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,794 You? 60 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,504 What the fuck are you doing here? 61 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,714 Hey, hey, what the fuck, man? Hey! 62 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,385 [body thuds] 63 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,844 ♪♪♪ 64 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:02,057 [indistinct shouting] 65 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,396 [both sigh happily] 66 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,400 Good morning. 67 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:12,567 Where--where's Fred? 68 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,569 He passed out while nursing. 69 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,570 We've got six to eight minutes tops. 70 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,198 Mm. 71 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,324 [moans softly] 72 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,743 Oh, and one of us has to go to the store today 73 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:22,703 and get more diaper cream 74 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,287 'cause his rash is now halfway up his back. 75 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,539 Oh, yeah. Talk dirty to me. 76 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,082 [laughs] 77 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,168 ♪♪♪ 78 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,462 Wait. 79 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,839 Wait. You said it's worse than yesterday. 80 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,007 What? 81 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:36,800 Fred's rash. 82 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:40,804 Uh, no, it's fine. 83 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,890 Hey. No. His ass is fine. 84 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:46,435 And your ass is fine. 85 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,603 [giggles] 86 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:52,858 ♪♪♪ 87 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,277 Yeah. It's just--sorry. 88 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,195 It's just, the new daycare says 89 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,698 they can't take him if he's sick. 90 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,491 It's diaper rash. 91 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,578 It's not the bubonic plague. All babies have diaper rash. 92 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:05,495 - [Lip] Okay. - [Tami giggles] 93 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,789 Mm. 94 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,542 ♪♪♪ 95 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,419 Mm, maybe we should get it checked out, though. 96 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,463 - [groaning] Lip. - You know? Yeah. 97 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,132 Lip, he's gonna be at daycare for four hours total. 98 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,425 - [Lip sighs] - Get a grip. 99 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,219 Look, we don't have a choice. You want to-- 100 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,179 Look at my chart. 101 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:26,266 [Lip] Yeah, but it's his first day. 102 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,643 [Tami] You've got AA. Then you're at work till four. 103 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,312 I'm at the salon at noon. 104 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,314 So there's a four-hour gap in child care. 105 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,858 Yeah. So Brad'll let me out of work early. 106 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,652 We need the cash. 107 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,696 [sighs] Well... 108 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,824 I mean, we need the cash so we can afford daycare. 109 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,327 Doesn't that seem a little ass-backwards? 110 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,787 No. 111 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:47,954 Ass-backwards is the Gallagher method, 112 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:51,333 where the next-oldest kid just keeps kind of a vague eye 113 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,501 on the rest of the herd. 114 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,336 Well, it's free. 115 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,754 Liam is ten. 116 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,130 He's not watching our baby. 117 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,673 Liam? 118 00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,466 I was gonna say Franny. 119 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:03,804 - [laughing] Oh, Franny? - Mm-hmm. 120 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,180 [Fred fusses, cries] 121 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:07,349 - [groaning] No. - Fuck. 122 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:11,478 [Fred continues crying] 123 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,979 ...get some fuckin' flapjacks. 124 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,398 Ian Gallagher? Mikhailo Milkovich? 125 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,781 [fence rattling] 126 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,157 Yeah, I'm Ian Gallagher. Can I help you, Officer? 127 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,451 Got some bad news for you. 128 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,078 Your PO was found dead this morning. 129 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,287 Paula's dead? 130 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,039 Fell out of a third-floor window. 131 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,041 Detectives want you both to come down to the station today, 132 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,543 make statements. 133 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,836 Why? 134 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,712 We don't know anything about that. 135 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,214 Whenever a PO dies, detectives interview all the parolees, 136 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,716 especially if the death was suspicious. 137 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,093 Suspicious? 138 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,095 Well, people usually open a window 139 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,930 before they jump out it. 140 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:47,806 See you at the station. 141 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,767 Bring Milkovich. 142 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,644 [car door opens, closes] 143 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,729 Good. 144 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:55,730 Go. Get your backpacks. 145 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,692 - Get your book, Amy. - [door opens, closes] 146 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,403 Let's go! Let's go, people! 147 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,738 Kev, get dressed! We leave in three. 148 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,907 V, look at this. 149 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,284 - What is it? - [Kev] IRS. 150 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,910 Oh, no! 151 00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,871 Sweet baby Jesus. No, no, no, no. 152 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:11,621 [Kev] Our day just got shitty. 153 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,874 Did we not pay our taxes on time? 154 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,292 Are you asking me? 155 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,793 How do I know? You do the taxes. 156 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,086 No, I know--I know-- I know we did. 157 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,421 I-I paid the check, 158 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,922 and I did the amend B-59X whatever. 159 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,592 I know I paid it. 160 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,927 What do you want me to do? Flush it? Burn it? 161 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:27,053 No. We got to face it head-on. 162 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,389 Hold Mommy's hand, girls. 163 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,391 - [paper rustles] - [Kev sighs] 164 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,938 No way. A check for $825? 165 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,690 $825? 166 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,276 What? Give me that. 167 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,527 [Kev gasps] 168 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:45,906 "Tax credit," blah, blah, blah. 169 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,949 From when I worked at the nursing home? 170 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:48,992 I vote Jet Ski. 171 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,703 And I vote no! 172 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,289 Come on, girls. We got to go to school. 173 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,166 - Kev, you coming? - [breathlessly] Yeah. 174 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,751 - Kev! - Shh. 175 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,713 - Come on, girls. - Let me have this. 176 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,965 - [door closes] - [exhales deeply] 177 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,718 ♪♪♪ 178 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,096 Mickey? 179 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,808 Mickey! Hey, come on out. Cops are gone. 180 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,396 The fuck they want? 181 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,649 Paula's dead. 182 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,610 [chuckling] No shit. Is it Christmas? 183 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:24,361 It's not funny. 184 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,322 Someone threw her out a window. 185 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,907 You kidding me? That's extremely funny. 186 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:29,491 There's, like, a fucking verb for that 187 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,660 I-I'm serious, Mickey. 188 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:35,080 They want us to go into the station for questioning. 189 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,998 You know anything about this? 190 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,501 Nah. Fuck, no. I didn't kill her. 191 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,044 Wait. Do you know something about this? 192 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,088 No. 193 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,923 - That what you're telling me? - [Ian] Of course not. 194 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,342 Got it. 195 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,260 Good strategy. 196 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,554 Wait, what stra-- I-I didn't kill her. 197 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,973 - Little bit, you did, though. - No. Not little bit. 198 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,768 I did zero murdering of my PO last night, Mickey. 199 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:57,894 - Okay. - I'm not the one 200 00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,730 who came home late without any sort of explanation. 201 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,691 I did explain. I was with my dad. 202 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:05,235 No. You didn't explain why you were with your dad. 203 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,278 Exactly. 204 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,697 Okay, so, to be clear, you didn't kill her, 205 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,699 or, you know, you "didn't" kill her"? 206 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,159 Why are you putting shit in weird fucking air quotes? 207 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,202 Because I didn't fucking kill her. 208 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,328 Okay. Me neither. 209 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,998 We both know what we know we know... 210 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,041 that we know. 211 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,712 What the fuck does that mean? 212 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:24,379 - Hey. Where you going? - [Mickey scoffs] 213 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,673 Wouldn't you like to know? 214 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,049 I-I-I would. 215 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,553 I would like to know! 216 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,387 All right. Pick your poison. 217 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,098 - Cereal or toast. - [Liam] Pass. 218 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,559 Todd's biggest game of the season is today. 219 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,728 Got to stay sharp, stay hungry. 220 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,688 Shouldn't you be doing fun kid stuff this summer? 221 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,273 Like Slip 'N Slide in the yard? 222 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,276 Talent management is fun, Tami, 223 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,318 if it's the kill that you love. 224 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,529 - [cell phone rings] - Excuse me. 225 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,905 It's the coast. 226 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:51,948 Go for Todd. 227 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,910 Good. You're still here. 228 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:56,911 - [Lip] Hey. - I need to talk to you. 229 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,830 Uh, okay. 230 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,415 I met this awesome woman last night at a hotel bar, right? 231 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,751 - [Lip] Okay. Yeah. - Claudia. 232 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,753 She's older than me, but not in a rape-y way. 233 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:08,256 She's got this beautiful smile and these bright eyes 234 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,924 and these sexy little Lisa Loeb glasses. 235 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,718 Debs. Hey. 236 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,763 So, anyways, we spent the night together last night. 237 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,932 - [Lip] Yeah. - And then she gave me this. 238 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:20,727 I'm really confused. 239 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,353 Why would she give me 1,000 bucks? 240 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,189 [chuckling] Um... 241 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,774 [clicks tongue] I'm not. She, uh-- 242 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,276 [inhales deeply] She thinks you're a prostitute. 243 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,944 - What? - Yeah. 244 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,821 But it was voluntary hooking up. 245 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,948 I liked the sex. I think she did, too. 246 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,784 Yeah. I like fixing bikes. 247 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,952 But it's my job because someone gives me cash to do it. 248 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,662 - But we really hit it off. - [Fred crying] 249 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:43,458 It wasn't like a gross sex worker situation at all. 250 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,876 Who's a sex worker? 251 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,169 - Debbie. - [Debbie] No. 252 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,462 This is a misunderstanding 253 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:48,963 that will be cleared up immediately. 254 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,799 Okay. 255 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,467 - Tami. - Yeah? 256 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,135 Could you wake up Franny in 20 minutes 257 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,136 and watch her till I get back? 258 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,805 I can for a little while, 259 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:57,889 but then I got to take Fred to daycare, get to work by noon. 260 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,308 - Cool. I owe you. - [Lip] Wait, wait, wait, Debs. 261 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,018 How much do you owe her? 262 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:02,727 Because you have to be clear about terms up front. 263 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,854 - Shut up, dick. - You know? 264 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,064 - [Tami laughs] - [door opens] 265 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:06,940 [Ian] Oh, thank fuck you're here. 266 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,650 - [Lip] Hey. - I need to talk you. 267 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,528 - You're popular this morning. - Yeah. 268 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,697 Hey, Tami, uh, it's kind of a brothers-only situation. 269 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,204 Thanks. 270 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,332 What's up? 271 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,375 I think Mickey killed our parole officer. 272 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,961 - You what? - Yeah. 273 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,130 She got thrown out a window last night, 274 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,049 and he hates her, and he was out late. 275 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,884 Plus, he's a psychopath, so... 276 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,177 Yeah, but you-you really think 277 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,804 Mickey would kill a parole officer? 278 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,264 We just had this whole conversation 279 00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,932 where he said he basically did it, 280 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,559 you know, in his Mickey way of not saying he did it 281 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,519 but totally saying he did it. 282 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,187 - You know? - No. 283 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,939 Well, I don't know what the fuck to do. 284 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,107 I mean, I'm supposed to make a statement to the police, 285 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,442 and--I mean, do I lie and say he was here all night? 286 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:52,694 - Or-- - Yes. 287 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,320 You're a Gallagher, right? 288 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,572 Always lie. 289 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,869 Why are you squirming so much? 290 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:01,494 - Something wrong with you? - I'm not squirming. 291 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,705 [Kev] The point is, V, 292 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,206 when you have the money, you got to spend it. 293 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,542 - Five-dollar scratchers. - No, Kev. 294 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,377 But we have $800. 295 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,212 We could buy a million five-dollar scratchers. 296 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,214 What about Disneyland, 297 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,216 a once-in-a-lifetime experience for our children? 298 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,218 Fuck that mouse. 299 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,387 I'll take another Sea Breeze, please. 300 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,890 Or we go to the Indian casino, and we double down on craps. 301 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,434 Let it ride. 302 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,852 What do real people do with money? 303 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,228 That's what I want to do. 304 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,105 - [Tommy] Invest it. - In what? 305 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,815 You know who you should talk to? 306 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,775 My buddy Gerald's daughter. She is a money genius. 307 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,029 She--she invested in this Korean company, 308 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,406 selling their products from home. 309 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,742 Now she's got a Mercedes. 310 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,035 [Kev] I want a Mercedes. 311 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,786 We could sell Korean stuff, V. 312 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,579 We could sell the shit out of Korean stuff. 313 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,748 We don't have a ton to invest. 314 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,082 Well, neither did she. 315 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,126 She was a waitress. 316 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,085 Want me to get her number for you? 317 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,378 - [door opens] - Good morrow, friends. 318 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:56,090 Chums. Old pals. 319 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,675 I'm gonna use the ladies' room. 320 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,384 - [door closes] - Hurry back, bunny. 321 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,095 Mm, hop, hop, hop. 322 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:03,932 [both chuckle] 323 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,892 [Frank] Is it a beautiful morning or what? 324 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,144 - [Tommy] Stop gloating, Frank. - [Kermit] Oh, shut up. 325 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,772 You and the lady friend are getting tight, huh, Frank? 326 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:11,189 Wait. I don't care. 327 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,774 [man laughs] 328 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,818 We are getting tight, V. Thank you for asking. 329 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,780 Only thing that's a little bit odd is, 330 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,949 she appears to live in a Rolls-Royce. 331 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,659 A Rolls? 332 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,910 You see, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable 333 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:24,911 that she's homeless. 334 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,663 We've all been there. 335 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,997 - [Veronica] Never. - We've never been there. 336 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,791 I'm probably homeless right now. 337 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,501 Got to check with the kids about that. 338 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,627 Are you sure she's homeless, Frank? 339 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,921 The Rolls-Royce doesn't make sense. 340 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,172 Yeah, have you actually asked her, 341 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,466 "Do you have a house, Faye?" 342 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,302 Got to play the long game with a woman like this. 343 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,429 Let her dole out the info at her own pace. 344 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,140 Peel back the onion 345 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,977 and reveal her ripe fruit to me when she's ready. 346 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,728 [door opens] 347 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,189 Hey, Faye, do you have a house? 348 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,649 Yes. Why? 349 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,989 [clanging] 350 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:01,322 Staff meeting. 351 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,157 [clangs] 352 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,200 Now in session. 353 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,243 [clangs] 354 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,495 All right. 355 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,414 We got a special today. 356 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,373 Shrimp tater tots. 357 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:13,334 Part tater, part shrimp. 358 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,669 I'ma throw up. 359 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,005 Looks like you fried a turd, Lori. 360 00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,881 [Lori] Serving these beauties up with a slice of lemon 361 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,676 and a dollop of tartar jizz. 362 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,219 Seven-fifty with a combo drink and fries. 363 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,805 Jesus. 364 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,851 You getting all this, Carl? Hello? 365 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,853 - Yeah. I got it. - What's wrong with you? 366 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,689 [Stump] He's questioning his life choices. 367 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,816 Going through his "wants to do good for the world" phase. 368 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,318 It'll pass. 369 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,569 Why would you want to do good? 370 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,738 I don't know. 371 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,533 Guess it felt good saving lives and fixing streetlights. 372 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,576 Felt like I had a purpose on this earth, you know? 373 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,037 - Join the military. - I can't. 374 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,455 I'm banned. 375 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,040 So gain 50 pounds and be a cop, then. 376 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,208 I'm too young to apply. 377 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,045 Guess this is my fate-- serving shrimp taters. 378 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,131 Let me tell you something, Carl. 379 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:03,426 You think I always wanted to do this with my life? 380 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,095 Serving up fried turd balls with a bunch of ex-cons? 381 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,097 I'm a vet, Lori. Two tours! 382 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,017 This wasn't my dream. I wanted to be a teacher. 383 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:15,855 But cocaine tasted so good, I just did that instead. 384 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,066 The point is, you got to have dreams. 385 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,817 Go be a cop. 386 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,736 Can't apply till I'm 21. 387 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,696 Uh, you ever heard of faking a birth certificate 388 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,198 using a dead guy's name? 389 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,449 [scoffs] 390 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,452 ♪ funky music ♪ 391 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:34,499 ♪♪♪ 392 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,586 Some big people here today. Am I right? 393 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,631 - Yep. - Whose your boy? 394 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,091 Sixteen. 395 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,759 You got Todd Bryerson? 396 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,511 Nice. 397 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,637 I'm with 22. 398 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,098 Cordel Jackson. 399 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:53,601 Yeah, we're positioning him to take a third endorsement today. 400 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,103 Timbo Keller, RCE Sports Management. 401 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,980 - And you are? - You're not poaching my boy. 402 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,108 [chuckles] Whoa, little man. I was just gonna say-- 403 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,317 Walk away. 404 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,111 - Wow. You're paranoid. - I've seen you eye him. 405 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,654 Walk away. 406 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:08,449 [net swishes, buzzer sounds] 407 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,784 [crowd cheers] 408 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,954 Listen, buddy. Got a strategy. 409 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,455 Check it. 410 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,624 The new Apollos? Not out yet. 411 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,501 They're gonna be huge. 412 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,628 New lace technology. 413 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,672 Self-tightens. 414 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,881 Apollos? 415 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,800 That's all you can get me? 416 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,635 Cordel's got Air Jordans, and RCE signed him. 417 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,345 [Liam] Trust me. 418 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,515 Get photographed in these. Boom, leverage. 419 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,475 What's leverage? 420 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,185 Don't worry about it. 421 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,604 Trust me. 422 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,816 ♪ quirky rock music ♪ 423 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:46,863 ♪♪♪ 424 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,830 Hey, Officer Berto. Can we talk for a second? 425 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,249 I haven't seen your dad. Buzz off. 426 00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,876 Wait, wait. It's not about my dad. 427 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,836 - It's about lawyers. - [groans] Worse. 428 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,087 - I'm on my break. - Great. 429 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:06,716 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 430 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,594 [door opens, Ian grunts] 431 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,138 When you got arrested 432 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,806 for beating the shit out of that Cardinals fan, 433 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,516 who was the lawyer that got you off? 434 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,476 Danny Alvarez. 435 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,687 Best lawyer around. 436 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,398 Five hundred an hour. Worth every penny. 437 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,192 Yeah, I thought I was fucked when Tina wouldn't marry me, 438 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:24,775 but Danny saved my ass. 439 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:28,487 Got me off scot-free. 440 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,031 Wouldn't marry you? 441 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,699 What's that got to do with anything? 442 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,326 Oh, 'cause married people can't testify 443 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:34,702 against each other in a court of law. 444 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:35,995 It's called spousal privilege. 445 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,623 That's why I tried to get Tina to marry me, 446 00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,416 but the bitch said, no, she wouldn't cover for me. 447 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:41,542 So I had to hire Danny. 448 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,419 Married people can't testify against each other? Ever? 449 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,379 Nope. 450 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,464 Any knowledge you have 451 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:49,050 of each other's shit is strictly confidential. 452 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,052 It's what we in the biz call a loophole. 453 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:54,388 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 454 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:55,556 What's his blood type? 455 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,141 [Fred coos] 456 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,434 What? They need to know his blood type 457 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,061 so he can do tummy time? 458 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,270 Mm. 459 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,564 I'm just gonna put "red." 460 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,651 Who's his emergency contact? 461 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,403 That's easy. Me. 462 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,156 Who are they supposed to call if we're both unreachable 463 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:12,657 and Fred's having a seizure? 464 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,033 Seizure? Jesus. 465 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,994 What are they gonna do to him in this place? 466 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,579 Cami. 467 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:19,580 No. Your sister? No. No, no, no. 468 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:22,041 Uh...Ian. 469 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,085 Ian the felon? 470 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,420 Uh, uh, Debbie, then. 471 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,421 The prostitute. 472 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,173 [chuckling] Okay. Um... 473 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,510 look, why don't we just leave it blank, huh? 474 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,429 You can't leave it blank. So Cami. 475 00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,348 [sighs] 476 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:38,683 She and Brad are gonna be Fred's legal guardians anyway. 477 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,185 What? Since when? 478 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,522 Why wouldn't they be? 479 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,066 Uh, because Brad fell off the wagon so hard 480 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:47,775 that we had to pick him up out of a ditch last year, 481 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,152 and you hate your sister? 482 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,823 - I don't hate my sister. - Yes, you do. 483 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,199 And we all do. 484 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,787 Fine. Um, my Aunt Oopie, then. 485 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:00,454 Aunt Oop--no. Fuck, no. What? 486 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,915 Okay. 487 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,333 Who did you have in mind to be Fred's legal guardian? 488 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,799 I don't know. Can we just do this later? 489 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,759 A Gallagher, though, right? 490 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,595 Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it. 491 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:16,304 [smooches] 492 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,764 Bye, buddy! [smooches loudly] 493 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:19,473 Hey. We will be talking about this later. 494 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,350 Yes. 495 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,060 - [door opens] - Bye! 496 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:23,185 [door closes] 497 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:25,980 Debbie? 498 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:29,233 Hey. Uh... 499 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,361 I was just wondering why you gave me this last night. 500 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,322 Oh, I'm sorry. Was it not enough? 501 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,866 Here, come in. Come in. 502 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,326 Just, um-- my wallet's right over there. 503 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:39,160 Just take whatever your rate is. 504 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,329 - I wasn't sure. - [door closes] 505 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,831 [scoffs] Claudia, I don't have a rate. 506 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,374 I'm not a prostitute. 507 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,500 You're not? 508 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:48,878 Why were you sitting with all the prostitutes, then? 509 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,630 You know, they call that Ho Corner. 510 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,633 I did not know that. [chuckles] 511 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,552 I just met you, and I thought I liked you. 512 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,347 So I was a freebie? 513 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:00,514 No, you weren't a freebie, 514 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:04,018 because you're not a john and I'm not a prostitute. 515 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,436 I just thought we hit it off. 516 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,688 Oh! 517 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,024 Well, I thought we had a connection, too. 518 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,692 So this is a misunderstanding? 519 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,862 Big mistake. Huge. 520 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:15,946 Great. 521 00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,239 Um, I have to get to work, 522 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:21,911 but can I take you out on a proper date later? 523 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,080 Sure. 524 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:24,872 How long are you in town? 525 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,917 I live here. Up in Lake Forest. 526 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,169 I just get a hotel room 527 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,046 when I have a late meeting in the city 528 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,882 or I'm too fucked up on, you know, and looking for a... 529 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,092 [inhales deeply] 530 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,927 [clicks tongue] So, uh, dinner? 531 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,555 How about seven o'clock tonight? 532 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,474 - Sure. Sounds good. - [Claudia] Okay. 533 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,308 And here, I'm gonna return this. 534 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,268 Oh, no, no, no. Keep it, as a gift. 535 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,105 It's the least I can do for insulting you. 536 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,606 [chuckles] Oh! 537 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,066 And if you're free today, 538 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,984 why don't you just enjoy the room? 539 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:56,278 I mean, I have to go to work, 540 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,655 but I can arrange for a late checkout. 541 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,198 I mean, just order up some room service 542 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,158 or a spa treatment. 543 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,619 Well, thanks. 544 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,789 ♪ rock music ♪ 545 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,457 [door closes] 546 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,084 I don't understand. 547 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:13,003 If you have a house, why didn't we sleep in it? 548 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,005 It's embarrassing. 549 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:19,093 You'll think I'm crazy. 550 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:22,263 There is zero percent chance that I'll think you're crazy. 551 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:26,142 What's embarrassing? You got bedbugs? 552 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,227 You know what? Let's change the subject. 553 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,270 Come on. 554 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,563 Tell Frank. 555 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,106 You got a husband back home? 556 00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,233 Much worse than that. 557 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,651 Children? 558 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,987 It's haunted, Frank. 559 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,531 I'm terrified to be there alone. 560 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,117 [whispering] That's why I sleep in my car. 561 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,453 "Haunted"? 562 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:47,371 Every floor, 563 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,373 every room, 564 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,293 including the ballroom and servants' quarters. 565 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,378 How big is this house? 566 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,882 Twenty-two thousand nine hundred eleven square feet. 567 00:20:57,965 --> 00:20:59,967 On the lake. 568 00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,303 Nine bedrooms, including the master. 569 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,388 But that's mostly just storage 570 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,682 for my father's single-malt scotch collection. 571 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,144 Your father collects scotch? 572 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:10,936 Did. Yes. 573 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,481 He's dead now. 574 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:16,692 He has hundreds of bottles of the stuff in that room. 575 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:17,693 I mean... [scoffs] 576 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:21,322 Not that I'm brave enough to go in there. 577 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:25,242 You know, Faye, I believe in ghosts. 578 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,827 I see them. I hear them. 579 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:30,039 And I can exorcise them. 580 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,041 We're simpatico. 581 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,126 I could help you get rid of 'em for good. 582 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:35,419 Really? 583 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:39,632 Who else you gonna call? 584 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:43,052 [both laugh] 585 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,179 ♪ We rock and roll, and we rock ♪ 586 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:47,223 ♪ Hip-hop, you know it don't stop ♪ 587 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,432 ♪ Let's do work and don't punch the clock ♪ 588 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,309 ♪ And, uh, ticktock a mill off the top, ma ♪ 589 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:53,646 ♪ Catch my vibe, catch my vibe ♪ 590 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,898 ♪ Catch my vibe, catch my vibe ♪ 591 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:59,860 ♪ Gimme my room while I catch my vibe ♪ 592 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:00,736 [announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, 593 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,531 let's all stand for the national anthem. 594 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,367 [drumroll playing on speakers] 595 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:09,703 ["The Star-Spangled Banner" plays on speakers] 596 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:14,750 ♪♪♪ 597 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,879 ♪ mischievous music ♪ 598 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,173 "Southside Kid Finally Takes a Stand." 599 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,174 ♪ Yeah ♪ 600 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,342 ♪ Hey ♪ 601 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,176 ♪ Yeah ♪ 602 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:25,219 Boom. 603 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:26,637 ♪ Yeah ♪ 604 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,681 - ♪ Hey ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 605 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:29,974 Man, let me ask you something. 606 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:33,018 Who's your kid's guardian? 607 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:35,312 You, I think. 608 00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:37,565 [laughs] No. I'm just kidding. 609 00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:41,068 It's, uh, some Bible-thumping aunt on Cami's side. 610 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,695 Oh, and you're okay with that? 611 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:45,573 I mean, it not being someone in your own family? 612 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:48,075 You've clearly never met my family. 613 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,369 Guardian stuff's up to the mother anyway. 614 00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,246 Everything is. 615 00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:53,956 Sooner you accept that, the better your life will be. 616 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:57,001 Remote control, up to her. 617 00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,085 Temperature of every room, up to her. 618 00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,045 Your balls, up to her. 619 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:01,755 [phone quacking] 620 00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,048 Oh. 621 00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:07,970 Yo. What's up? 622 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:08,971 Hey. The new daycare wouldn't take Fred. 623 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,682 [Lip] What? 624 00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:13,976 The daycare wouldn't take Fred because of his rash. 625 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:15,144 Oh. Is that right? 626 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,313 [Tami] Well, not his rash, 627 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,480 but because of his stupid rash, they took his temperature, 628 00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,609 and it's point-two degrees higher than it should be, 629 00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,861 so they sent him home. 630 00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:25,112 [Lip] Okay. Where are you now? 631 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:27,114 Uh, I'm almost home. 632 00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:29,074 Aunt Oopie is meeting me there, and then, hopefully, 633 00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:30,659 I will still make it to work on time. 634 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,119 Oh, your-your-your aunt I've never met? 635 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:34,455 [Tami] She's available. 636 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,332 You know, you can meet her when you get home. 637 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,374 Oh, and can you pick up some baby aspirin? 638 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:38,792 Mwah. 639 00:23:38,876 --> 00:23:41,587 Ah, f...uck me. 640 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,467 [Faye shudders] We're getting close. 641 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:49,136 Oh, Frank. 642 00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:52,181 [exhales sharply] I'm in a cold sweat. 643 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,850 Let's talk about these spirits for a second. 644 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:57,311 Uh, can you see them, or are they more of a presence? 645 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,646 [Faye] A presence. 646 00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:01,440 Like a cold hand on my neck. 647 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,359 Okay. Right here. 648 00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:05,361 [sighs] 649 00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:10,449 [shudders] It's the worst when I'm in bed. 650 00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:12,826 They hover over me. 651 00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:15,371 Oh, God. 652 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,414 Oh, God. 653 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,249 [shivers] 654 00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:20,626 Fr... 655 00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,085 [quietly] I-I-I... 656 00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,921 I can't do this. 657 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:24,838 Give me your hand. 658 00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:27,466 It's like our black president said, 659 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,426 "Yes, we can." 660 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:30,844 Come on. 661 00:24:30,928 --> 00:24:33,931 Come on. Come on. 662 00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:37,726 It's just a house. 663 00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:40,646 A very expensive house, but nothing we can't handle. 664 00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:51,073 [clock chiming, number pad beeping] 665 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,658 [door closes] 666 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,997 Let's start 667 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,039 with the scotch-collection room and go from there. 668 00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,000 Which way? 669 00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,459 Up the stairs. 670 00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:03,877 Uh, for whatever it's worth, 671 00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:08,674 my spidey sense is really not picking up any spirits. 672 00:25:08,757 --> 00:25:09,717 [calling out] Right? 673 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,469 No ghosts in here, right? 674 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:13,595 I can't. 675 00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:14,138 I literally can't go up the stairs, Frank. 676 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:16,724 Faye, take my hand. 677 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:19,518 I want you to really hear what I'm about to tell you. 678 00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:21,061 I've got you. 679 00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:21,687 And you're safe with me. 680 00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:27,067 Aw. 681 00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:30,904 Is that you? 682 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:32,823 Yes. 683 00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,616 At high-school graduation... 684 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:38,412 right before everything changed forever... 685 00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:40,456 when my life still had promise. 686 00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:53,469 - You're late. Grab an AK. - [gun cocks] 687 00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:54,678 - What's up, Mickey? - [George] Hey, the large file 688 00:25:54,762 --> 00:25:55,637 works best on serial numbers. 689 00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:59,266 Yo, I heard about that bitch PO going down. 690 00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,852 [George] Yeah, who's the lucky parolee that gets that trophy? 691 00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:02,770 I bet he's loving life right now. 692 00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:05,272 [Terry] Why you make me ask you twice? 693 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:06,940 Sit. File. 694 00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:08,817 [Mickey] I'm not really here to work, Pops. 695 00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:10,486 "Not here to work," he says. 696 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:11,862 You helped us move 'em last night. 697 00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:14,448 - Now you got cold feet? - No. I just... 698 00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:17,451 I need advice, actually. 699 00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:19,286 - What the fuck? - [Mickey] Yeah, I know. 700 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,580 Look, I'm pretty sure Ian popped that PO. 701 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,373 Who's Ian? 702 00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:25,417 Fuck you, man. Don't start with that shit. 703 00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,211 [laughing] Hey, I'm just fucking with you. 704 00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:29,963 No way in hell that little gay carrot boy shot her. 705 00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:31,298 No. She didn't get shot. 706 00:26:31,381 --> 00:26:33,675 She got...pushed out a window. 707 00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:35,177 Did he tell you he did it? 708 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:36,804 [stammers wordlessly, sighs] 709 00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,555 In so many words, yeah. 710 00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:39,473 Shit. Were you wearing a wire? 711 00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,309 Anyone else hear the conversation? 712 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:44,686 No. Look, cops want us to come in and answer questions. 713 00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:45,646 Fuck! All right. Go get packed. 714 00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,315 George, call Benny. Tell him to get the van. 715 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:49,650 We got to take some cargo to Canada. 716 00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,318 No. No. I'm not running. I need to protect him. 717 00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:53,278 What are my options here? 718 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,906 Oh, you want options? 719 00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:57,533 He wants options. [laughs] 720 00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,284 - [laughter] - [Terry] God damn it! 721 00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:01,578 You're a Milkovich. 722 00:27:01,662 --> 00:27:03,539 Cops gonna pin this on you so fast, 723 00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:04,832 you'll be back in the pen 724 00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:06,875 before lights out in cellblock C. 725 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:07,793 Nothing else you can do but run. 726 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:09,711 [George] Oh, unless you got married. 727 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:11,505 See, you can't testify against each other in court 728 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,675 if you're mister and mister. 729 00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:17,636 Milkovich men marry vaginas, period. 730 00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:19,346 He's gay, Terry. 731 00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:21,765 I'm gay. People are gay. Do you want a beer? 732 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:22,891 [Terry] Shut your filthy mouth. 733 00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:26,186 Hey, marriage isn't about sexual orientation anyway. 734 00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:27,229 We like pussy, right, Snook? 735 00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,356 Fucking love pussy. 736 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:30,983 Can't get enough pussy. 737 00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:32,317 We're both zero percent gay. 738 00:27:32,401 --> 00:27:33,569 Yeah, we're not even prison gay. 739 00:27:33,652 --> 00:27:35,112 But technically, 740 00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:36,822 we've been legally married for what, George? 741 00:27:36,905 --> 00:27:38,323 - Nine years? - Yeah. 742 00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:39,741 Thirteen federal court hearings. 743 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:40,742 Never testified against each other once. 744 00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:43,203 [Mickey] H-hold on. So you're saying that 745 00:27:43,287 --> 00:27:44,705 if Ian and I get married, 746 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,582 then anything that happens between us is a secret? 747 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:49,126 [Terry] You marry someone with a cock, 748 00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:51,670 I will bludgeon you dead in your sleep. 749 00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:54,590 Good talk, Dad. Thanks. 750 00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:57,134 Product conviction. That is what it is about. 751 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:59,553 You have got to have conviction in your product. 752 00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:03,015 Equals sales, equals profit, equals new Mercedes. 753 00:28:03,098 --> 00:28:04,558 I don't sell Escargold. 754 00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:05,934 Escargold sells itself. 755 00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:09,062 I get to sit back and wax my 'Cedes with an Hermes scarf. 756 00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:11,356 Mm! 757 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:12,065 Kev knows what I'm talking about. 758 00:28:12,149 --> 00:28:14,192 - Kev knows! - [giggles] 759 00:28:14,276 --> 00:28:15,569 Can you talk some more about the marketing tiers? 760 00:28:15,652 --> 00:28:16,653 What exactly is that? 761 00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:18,739 Multitier marketing. 762 00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:21,283 It's like-- You know what it's like, Kev? 763 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:22,659 Sports. 764 00:28:22,743 --> 00:28:23,911 I'm the captain of my team, 765 00:28:23,994 --> 00:28:24,786 and I want you two to play for me 766 00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:26,747 because you're gonna be great players. 767 00:28:26,830 --> 00:28:29,374 MVPs. Top-draw producers. Okay? 768 00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:30,751 So I'm gonna take a little percentage 769 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,711 of your sales off the top because I recruited you. 770 00:28:32,794 --> 00:28:33,712 - [Kev] Mm-hmm. - But once you are up 771 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:35,047 and running and you have 772 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:36,590 quadrupled your initial investment-- 773 00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:38,175 Which takes how long? 774 00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:39,927 [Tessa] Six months if you've got hustle. 775 00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:41,637 You good with Insta? Snap? Twitter? 776 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,930 So good. 777 00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:44,056 So what's your capital investment? 778 00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:45,974 Because for 2,500, 779 00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:47,267 we can get your inventory set up, and we can play ball. 780 00:28:47,351 --> 00:28:49,561 We have 825. 781 00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:52,814 For 825, 782 00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:55,651 we can get your inventory set up, and we can play ball. 783 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,945 So why don't you two follow me out to my 'Cedes? 784 00:28:58,028 --> 00:28:58,862 And we are gonna load you up. 785 00:28:58,946 --> 00:29:00,822 I still don't know what the product is. 786 00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:02,658 - What is Escargold? - Yeah. What does it do? 787 00:29:03,492 --> 00:29:05,786 ♪ rock music ♪ 788 00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:07,204 Now, I know what you're thinking: 789 00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:08,997 "This is just some Korean skincare fad." 790 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:09,957 And the answer is no. 791 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,292 Escargold eyepatches minimize wrinkles 792 00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:14,962 and de-puff eyes. 793 00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:17,255 [Veronica] Using a special ingredient-- 794 00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:20,133 snail mucus. 795 00:29:20,217 --> 00:29:22,052 Snail? Like slugs? 796 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:23,303 No. 797 00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:25,472 Snail like expensive. 798 00:29:25,555 --> 00:29:26,473 - [Kev] Mm-hmm. - Very rare. 799 00:29:26,556 --> 00:29:28,308 [Kev] They're really popular all over Europe 800 00:29:28,392 --> 00:29:28,850 and parts of France, guys. 801 00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:30,811 They really do work. 802 00:29:30,894 --> 00:29:34,147 Ingredients are all-natural and organic. 803 00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:35,816 Yeah, 'cause they're snails. 804 00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:38,151 Free samples coming around. 805 00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:39,653 Once you try it, you are sure to buy a case 806 00:29:39,736 --> 00:29:42,739 for our special introductory price 807 00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:46,493 of $29.99. 808 00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:47,786 V, what the hell are we supposed to do again? 809 00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:49,621 Make a face story on graham cracker? 810 00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:51,999 Why don't you let me handle the social media? 811 00:29:52,082 --> 00:29:57,004 ♪♪♪ 812 00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:58,588 [camera shutter clicks] 813 00:29:58,672 --> 00:29:59,464 ♪ militaristic percussive music ♪ 814 00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:02,676 [keys clacking] 815 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:05,053 Afternoon, sir. Name's Carl Gallagher. 816 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:06,972 I'm here to join the police academy, 817 00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:09,307 dedicate my life to law enforcement, 818 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:12,769 and here is my ID that says I'm 21. 819 00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:15,188 How old are you really, son? 820 00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:18,025 - How old do you need me to be? - The age you actually are. 821 00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:21,653 I'm 21. Just look at my ID. 822 00:30:21,737 --> 00:30:24,364 Well, this says your name is Lewis McGillicutty, Carl. 823 00:30:24,448 --> 00:30:26,742 Born 1947. 824 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:29,369 But this just shows how much I want it. 825 00:30:29,453 --> 00:30:31,705 - Out. - [Carl] Oh, come on. 826 00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,915 How many minors do you get in here begging to join the force? 827 00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:35,500 Begging to make shit money and get called a pig? 828 00:30:35,584 --> 00:30:38,003 This is my calling. 829 00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:38,545 Punishing the oppressors of the underclass 830 00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:40,839 is what I'm all about. 831 00:30:40,922 --> 00:30:42,716 I have three skills to offer you, sir: 832 00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:44,843 I like to choke things, I'm good with weapons, 833 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,595 and I got a buttload of rage in my heart. 834 00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:48,138 Hey, Cody. Come on out. 835 00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:50,640 What? 836 00:30:50,724 --> 00:30:52,184 Now, it's not exactly the academy, Carl, 837 00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:53,727 but it might be up your alley. 838 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:55,187 Uh, this is Carl--I think he'd be a great candidate 839 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:57,814 for the kids thing that we do. What are we calling it-- 840 00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,775 [Cody] what the hell you talking about? 841 00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:01,526 The youth thing we do for-- 842 00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:03,528 uh, mentorship for the teenagers. 843 00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:04,780 Oh, we're still doing that bullshit? 844 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:07,783 It's called the Youth Committee 845 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:11,078 to Investigate Youthful Comm-- uh, something like that. 846 00:31:11,161 --> 00:31:12,079 Yeah, that's it. 847 00:31:12,162 --> 00:31:14,039 And it's for students who are interested 848 00:31:14,122 --> 00:31:15,415 in a career in law enforcement. 849 00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:17,542 I'm interested. What does it entail, sir? 850 00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:19,252 Eh, not much, just a couple hours after school every week. 851 00:31:19,336 --> 00:31:22,005 Um... 852 00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:24,382 there's usually a flash grenade demonstration at some point. 853 00:31:24,466 --> 00:31:26,635 Flash grenades? What about real grenades? 854 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,095 Oh, he's gonna fit right in. 855 00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:32,265 [news anchor] In today's segment 856 00:31:32,349 --> 00:31:34,935 - of "Snowflake Central"... - [door closes] 857 00:31:35,018 --> 00:31:38,105 ...we focus on the latest victim of the liberal agenda-- 858 00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:40,107 an elementary-school gun show. 859 00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:41,066 Dallas resident Sandra Benson 860 00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:43,110 was looking forward to sharing... 861 00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:44,528 [sweetly] Hey. 862 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,780 Hi, hi, hi, hi. 863 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:47,948 [news anchor] ...a fourth grader who couldn't wait... 864 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:50,367 Uh, hello? 865 00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:52,994 Oh, hello. Aunt Oopie here. 866 00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:53,620 - [Lip] Hey. - Not gonna call you Lip. 867 00:31:53,703 --> 00:31:56,414 Hope that's okay. 868 00:31:56,498 --> 00:31:58,792 Gonna call you by your lovely God-given name, Phillip. 869 00:31:58,875 --> 00:31:59,835 Okay. 870 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,378 - After the prophet. - Right. 871 00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:03,255 Oopie Tamietti at your service. 872 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:04,798 Is that O-O-O-pie? 873 00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:06,550 No, it's Oopie. Like "loopy." 874 00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:07,592 [chuckling] Okay. 875 00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:09,803 Uh, well, thank you-- 876 00:32:09,886 --> 00:32:11,805 thanks for watching Fred for us, you know? 877 00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:14,182 Honestly, I'm just so happy to be able to spend time 878 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,434 with that creamy little Alfredo sauce! 879 00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:17,644 - Yeah. - He's the best baby on Earth. 880 00:32:17,727 --> 00:32:18,979 He is. 881 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:20,814 He is. Um, has he been resting long? 882 00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:23,400 - I'd say about 40 minutes. - Okay. 883 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,694 Uh, so I did two loads of laundry, 884 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:27,988 - caught up on my Hannity... - I saw that. 885 00:32:28,071 --> 00:32:28,780 ...roasted a chicken for supper, and made sweet rolls. 886 00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:31,366 Do you like sweet rolls, Phillip? 887 00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:33,827 Come on. Sit down. 888 00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,537 You've had a long day at work, I'm sure. 889 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:38,623 Have a seat. 890 00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:41,126 So listen, I have to insist 891 00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:45,005 that Fred not go back to that filthy daycare center. 892 00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:46,506 Oh. 893 00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:50,468 Because why would he, when Aunt Oopie is free? 894 00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:51,928 Yeah, I just--Tami and I, we should really, uh, 895 00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:53,763 - maybe discuss-- - Here. Try this. 896 00:32:53,847 --> 00:32:55,098 You're gonna love it, Phillip. 897 00:32:55,182 --> 00:32:55,974 - [Lip mumbles] - Am I right? 898 00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:57,642 - Am I right or am I right? - Mmm. 899 00:32:57,726 --> 00:33:00,729 Yeah, you're--you're right. 900 00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:04,649 That's delicious. 901 00:33:05,609 --> 00:33:07,819 [door opens] 902 00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,529 Here we are... 903 00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:11,031 the master bedroom. 904 00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:12,949 This is full of promise. 905 00:33:13,033 --> 00:33:15,202 [gasps] 906 00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,204 Jesus H Christ in Heaven, my Lord, 907 00:33:17,287 --> 00:33:18,371 thank You for this gift 908 00:33:18,455 --> 00:33:19,664 - of daily stuff. - [door closes] 909 00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:22,167 He organized them by year and distillery. 910 00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:25,629 His lifelong passion. 911 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:28,548 This one... 912 00:33:28,632 --> 00:33:31,968 - looks really old. - [scotch pouring] 913 00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:35,555 This is the scary room? 914 00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:37,057 [scoffs] 915 00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:39,976 There's nothing in here. A bed and some air. 916 00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:42,312 That's 'cause you're not on the bed. 917 00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:43,605 - That's where they torment. - Uh... 918 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:46,024 Cheers, to us. 919 00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:49,903 This bed? 920 00:33:54,658 --> 00:33:56,034 Nothing here. [laughs] 921 00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:57,911 I'll take another one, doll. 922 00:33:57,994 --> 00:34:00,080 That's 'cause you have to lie on the bed. 923 00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:00,538 - Ah. - Close your eyes. 924 00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:02,958 You'll see. 925 00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:06,002 Mm. 926 00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:06,211 Eh? 927 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,009 - Now lay very still. - Okay. 928 00:34:13,093 --> 00:34:16,012 - Don't move a muscle. - [chuckles] 929 00:34:16,096 --> 00:34:18,598 Eyes shut tight. 930 00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:20,267 And listen. 931 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:23,561 - [handcuff clicks] - [Frank chuckles] 932 00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:26,314 - [Faye] You hear that? - [Frank] Mm-hmm. 933 00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:29,150 [chuckles] I think you may have scared the spirits away. 934 00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:31,278 ♪ exciting music ♪ 935 00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:34,281 Do you like to play, Frank? 936 00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:35,532 [Frank laughs] 937 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:36,658 Mm-hmm. 938 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:38,660 Then let's play. 939 00:34:38,743 --> 00:34:39,661 ♪♪♪ 940 00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:41,454 Open your eyes. 941 00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:44,291 ♪♪♪ 942 00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:45,959 What? 943 00:34:46,042 --> 00:34:46,960 Boo! 944 00:34:47,043 --> 00:34:49,129 ♪♪♪ 945 00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:53,717 [crowd shouting] 946 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,345 Whoo! 947 00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,096 [whistle blows] 948 00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:01,600 ♪ rousing hip-hop music ♪ 949 00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:06,605 ♪♪♪ 950 00:35:09,733 --> 00:35:12,485 [shouting continues] 951 00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:15,822 [crowd, chanting] Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd! 952 00:35:15,905 --> 00:35:18,283 - You're Todd's manager, right? - Guilty. 953 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:20,327 His kneeling photo is blowing up. 954 00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:22,370 120,000 likes already. 955 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:24,456 And Jay-Z commented, "We're past this." 956 00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:26,666 Your guy is famous. 957 00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:27,500 Well, it's easy to represent 958 00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:29,544 someone who takes such a strong stand. 959 00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:32,297 ♪♪♪ 960 00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:34,174 [buzzer sounds] 961 00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:34,716 What are you doing after the game? 962 00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:35,592 Excuse me, ladies. 963 00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:38,678 Business calls. 964 00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,263 Dude, you're trending. 965 00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:42,724 Time to decide what you took a knee for. 966 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:44,184 - Huh? - Lots of options. 967 00:35:44,267 --> 00:35:46,853 Race, Trump, being poor, 968 00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:48,938 bad food in schools, kids with leukemia. 969 00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:50,440 Got to pick. 970 00:35:50,523 --> 00:35:51,858 I was just fixing my shoes. 971 00:35:51,941 --> 00:35:54,402 You want sponsorships or not? 972 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:56,529 Thanks. 973 00:35:56,613 --> 00:35:57,447 Thanks for meeting up with me. 974 00:35:57,530 --> 00:36:00,408 No problem. Let me just take my Plan B. 975 00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:02,077 Totally screwed the pooch last night. 976 00:36:04,037 --> 00:36:06,539 A guy I boned was legit poor. 977 00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:08,333 Like, works at goddamn Macy's 978 00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:10,794 and is not even associate manager. 979 00:36:10,877 --> 00:36:11,544 His tie had a snipped-in-half label on the back. 980 00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:14,881 Fuck my life. 981 00:36:14,964 --> 00:36:17,217 How about you? How'd you make out? 982 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:21,054 Yeah. So that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 983 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:22,972 I think I might be a prostitute. 984 00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:24,599 Yas, queen! 985 00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:27,268 So I didn't go off with that old rich guy last night. 986 00:36:27,352 --> 00:36:29,229 I met someone else. Her name is Claudia. 987 00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:31,898 We went up to her room and hooked up, 988 00:36:31,981 --> 00:36:35,235 and now she's buying me dresses and giving me cash 989 00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:37,362 and gonna take me to a nice dinner. 990 00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:37,904 I'm really conflicted. 991 00:36:37,987 --> 00:36:41,241 You hit the jackpot. 992 00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:42,409 Or... 993 00:36:42,492 --> 00:36:43,785 the mother lode. 994 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:45,453 Get it? 995 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:46,913 You don't think it's a little slutty? 996 00:36:46,996 --> 00:36:49,165 Having a sugar mama? Fuck, no. 997 00:36:49,249 --> 00:36:50,291 It is a true unicorn. 998 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:53,712 You got no dusty dicks. No dangling balls. 999 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:54,671 You get actual orgasms all night. 1000 00:36:54,754 --> 00:36:57,298 You ride her 1001 00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:59,175 all the way to a college fund for Franny, girl. 1002 00:36:59,259 --> 00:37:02,220 ♪ quirky music ♪ 1003 00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:03,221 ♪♪♪ 1004 00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:05,306 [whimpering] I look like a rabid raccoon. 1005 00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:06,933 [shouts] My eyes! 1006 00:37:07,016 --> 00:37:10,145 The pain comes in waves! 1007 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:12,397 Your snail piss burned our skin off! 1008 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,565 [groans] 1009 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:14,441 [man] Fuck! 1010 00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:16,276 This sucks! 1011 00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:17,986 We hear your concerns. 1012 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:20,196 Obviously, we have the same concerns 1013 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,198 about our product as you do. 1014 00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:26,077 Aloe gel coming around. 1015 00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:29,456 Put it on the burned area with our deep apologies. 1016 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:31,458 You need to call that bitch back again. 1017 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:33,293 We got to return this shit and get our money back. 1018 00:37:33,376 --> 00:37:34,669 I have called her 20 times. 1019 00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,337 She keeps sending us to voice mail. 1020 00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:37,589 Give me the phone--I know how to get her coward ass here. 1021 00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:39,507 [groans] 1022 00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:41,843 "Girl, we need more product. Sold out inventory." 1023 00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:44,512 Smiley face emoji. 1024 00:37:44,596 --> 00:37:46,973 - [message app swooshes] - [customers groan] 1025 00:37:47,056 --> 00:37:50,226 She's coming right over. 1026 00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:52,562 [groans] 1027 00:37:52,645 --> 00:37:54,063 Uh, you know, we usually just kind of all grab something 1028 00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:57,150 and eat clustered around the sink. 1029 00:37:57,233 --> 00:37:58,401 Well, that's a bunch of crazy. 1030 00:37:58,485 --> 00:38:02,322 You want to keep this great country of ours great, 1031 00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:04,657 it starts at the home, 1032 00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:06,242 with prayers to our Lord Jesus 1033 00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:08,161 - and three square meals a day. - [door opens] 1034 00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:09,829 [door closes] 1035 00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:11,331 - [Tami] Hello! - Hey! 1036 00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:12,999 - [Oopie squeals happily] - Hi. Oopie! 1037 00:38:13,082 --> 00:38:16,544 Little Tami! Oh, my goodness. 1038 00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:19,214 I love this baby so much. 1039 00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:20,673 And this man of yours-- 1040 00:38:20,757 --> 00:38:22,509 a fixer-upper, for sure... 1041 00:38:22,592 --> 00:38:25,303 [whispering] ...but that house has good bones. 1042 00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:26,763 Well, thank you so much for coming 1043 00:38:26,846 --> 00:38:28,056 on such short notice, Aunt Oopie. 1044 00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,767 Of course, honeybun. Now, let's see. 1045 00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:33,144 Fred has probably got another hour or so 1046 00:38:33,228 --> 00:38:34,187 before I wake him up for supper. 1047 00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:37,315 - Okay. - I can do bath time. 1048 00:38:37,398 --> 00:38:41,027 So why don't you two go have a date? 1049 00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,320 Aunt Oopie's got everything covered here. 1050 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:44,239 - Date? - A date? 1051 00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,699 Yeah. Or a nap or just an adult conversation. 1052 00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:48,576 Go on, now. 1053 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,620 I'm gonna teach Fred and that little colored boy 1054 00:38:50,703 --> 00:38:52,247 about the Gettysburg Address after supper. 1055 00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:54,082 I'm sorry. Wha-what was that part? 1056 00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:56,125 - A date. - She just-- 1057 00:38:56,209 --> 00:38:57,585 - A date. - No, I heard-- 1058 00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:58,920 That's great. Thanks, Aunt Oopie. 1059 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:00,046 Go on, now. Enjoy yourselves. 1060 00:39:00,129 --> 00:39:01,714 - No, see, the other part-- - It's good to go out 1061 00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:02,966 and participate in the economy 1062 00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:04,175 so we don't have to give handouts 1063 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:05,844 to those welfare cheats and... 1064 00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:07,428 - [Tami] Okay! - ...illegal immigrants. 1065 00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:08,721 - Yeah. I just-- - All right. Bye. 1066 00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:09,514 Please. Come on. 1067 00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:12,308 - Have fun. - [door closes] 1068 00:39:12,392 --> 00:39:14,894 ♪ rock music ♪ 1069 00:39:14,978 --> 00:39:16,729 [door opens] 1070 00:39:16,813 --> 00:39:21,568 ♪♪♪ 1071 00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:22,694 Hey. 1072 00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:23,945 - Hey. - [groans] 1073 00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,864 Thanks for meeting me. 1074 00:39:27,907 --> 00:39:28,950 Yeah. Sure thing, Formal. 1075 00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,243 [chuckles stiffly] 1076 00:39:30,326 --> 00:39:31,744 Let's order. I'm fucking starving. 1077 00:39:31,828 --> 00:39:34,414 [clears throat] 1078 00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:37,125 You, uh, get your new PO assignment? 1079 00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:38,585 I'm back with Larry fucking Seaver-- 1080 00:39:38,668 --> 00:39:39,961 I think we should get married. 1081 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,047 What? 1082 00:39:43,131 --> 00:39:45,300 We should get married. 1083 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,969 Then we can't testify against each other... 1084 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:50,179 in a court of law. 1085 00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:53,141 You know, in case one of us, uh... 1086 00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,517 had something on the other. 1087 00:39:56,269 --> 00:39:59,147 It's called spousal privilege. 1088 00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:01,900 Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, heard of it. 1089 00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:03,109 It's for both of our protection, you know? 1090 00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:05,778 Just help us keep things clean, 1091 00:40:05,862 --> 00:40:07,822 help us toe the line a little bit. 1092 00:40:07,906 --> 00:40:09,073 So what are you thinking? 1093 00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:12,160 I think staying out of jail's a crap reason to get married. 1094 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:13,453 No. We fucking love each other. 1095 00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:15,914 That's why we're gonna get married. 1096 00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:19,000 The legal stuff, it's just...bonus. 1097 00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:20,919 I mean, this is marriage, though, man. 1098 00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:24,422 It's kind of a...big step, don't you think? 1099 00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:27,216 I love you. 1100 00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:28,760 ♪ stirring guitar music ♪ 1101 00:40:28,843 --> 00:40:31,054 And... 1102 00:40:31,137 --> 00:40:32,805 and I trust you. 1103 00:40:32,889 --> 00:40:37,560 ♪♪♪ 1104 00:40:37,644 --> 00:40:40,313 Do you love and trust me, too? 1105 00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:43,691 ♪♪♪ 1106 00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:46,277 - [chuckling] Jesus Christ. - [hand thuds] 1107 00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:47,987 Okay. 1108 00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:50,239 So maybe this decision isn't that hard. 1109 00:40:50,323 --> 00:40:51,741 Jesus Christ. 1110 00:40:51,824 --> 00:40:53,159 You proposing to me over fucking patty melts? 1111 00:40:53,242 --> 00:40:55,703 Yeah. I guess I am. 1112 00:40:58,331 --> 00:40:59,999 So what do you say? You want to fit it in? 1113 00:41:01,417 --> 00:41:03,628 Fuck it. I do. 1114 00:41:03,711 --> 00:41:08,174 ♪♪♪ 1115 00:41:09,509 --> 00:41:12,053 There he is. The slayer! 1116 00:41:12,136 --> 00:41:13,346 - Way to slay. - [door closes] 1117 00:41:13,429 --> 00:41:14,514 I got you six more cases, you killer. 1118 00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:18,351 Well, psych! 'Cause we don't want any more. 1119 00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:19,560 [Veronica] You burned our customers' faces off. 1120 00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:21,729 Look at 'em. Like a bunch of linebackers. 1121 00:41:21,813 --> 00:41:23,606 We want a full refund, and we want it now. 1122 00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:27,402 You know, as I always tell my teammates, 1123 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,571 a life in sales means good days and bad. 1124 00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:32,573 Sometimes your products 1125 00:41:32,657 --> 00:41:33,199 are just gonna fly off the shelves, and other times-- 1126 00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:34,951 Oh, cut the shit, Tessa. 1127 00:41:35,034 --> 00:41:37,328 Our eyes feel like liquid molten lava. 1128 00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:38,997 Eight hundred and twenty-five dollars, now. 1129 00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:42,333 Look, I really want to give you guys your money back, 1130 00:41:42,417 --> 00:41:43,209 but the thing is, 1131 00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:45,795 my hands are tied. 1132 00:41:45,878 --> 00:41:47,422 There are absolutely no refunds of Escargold. 1133 00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,757 It is a firm company policy. 1134 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:52,385 And you two did... 1135 00:41:52,468 --> 00:41:53,011 e-sign the agreement. 1136 00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:54,721 [Kev sighs] 1137 00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:58,683 What the fuck are we gonna do with nine cases of slug burn? 1138 00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:01,352 I don't know. Be inventive. 1139 00:42:04,397 --> 00:42:06,399 [sighs] Here we go. 1140 00:42:06,482 --> 00:42:07,900 These are the Youths Discovering Leadership Laws 1141 00:42:07,984 --> 00:42:10,278 or whatever. 1142 00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:14,574 Youths! This is Carl. 1143 00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:16,075 [Carl] Whoa. 1144 00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:17,577 What the shit is this? 1145 00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:19,746 Our youth leader program. 1146 00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:20,913 Uh, that's Wilder, 1147 00:42:20,997 --> 00:42:22,123 Hemingway, 1148 00:42:22,206 --> 00:42:24,500 Penelope, Hunter-- 1149 00:42:24,584 --> 00:42:26,753 - Stop. - [camera shutter clicks] 1150 00:42:26,836 --> 00:42:28,171 These are our future police? 1151 00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:30,423 Mm, doubt it. 1152 00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:31,758 Uh, most do it for their college applications. 1153 00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:36,429 They put it next to ski club, yearbook committee.. 1154 00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:38,264 - Oh, no, no, no. - ...Habitat for Humanity-- 1155 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:40,099 Who's in charge here? 1156 00:42:40,183 --> 00:42:42,602 Well, we had a lieutenant running things for a while, 1157 00:42:42,685 --> 00:42:44,812 but he's out recovering from a heart attack. 1158 00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:47,940 So, for now, they're kind of on their own. 1159 00:42:48,024 --> 00:42:50,651 ♪ dramatic Western music ♪ 1160 00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:53,529 [Carl] Just give me 24 hours with them, sir. 1161 00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:55,656 I'll whip 'em into shape. 1162 00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:58,367 ♪♪♪ 1163 00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:16,803 [cell phone chimes] 1164 00:43:16,886 --> 00:43:19,138 Hey, uh, I don't think we're supposed to... 1165 00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:20,473 Hold up. I got a link from Larry. 1166 00:43:20,556 --> 00:43:23,101 [news anchor] In what now appears 1167 00:43:23,184 --> 00:43:25,144 to have been a lover's quarrel, 1168 00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:26,813 Michelle "Shelly" Demeter has been arrested and charged 1169 00:43:26,896 --> 00:43:28,189 for the aggravated murder of Paula Bitterman. 1170 00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:30,399 What the fuck? 1171 00:43:30,483 --> 00:43:31,859 [anchor] An eyewitness account has confirmed that Demeter... 1172 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:33,694 Wait. Is that the lady from the ambulance company? 1173 00:43:33,778 --> 00:43:36,072 [anchor] Bitterman was just 47 years old. 1174 00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:37,657 You didn't kill Paula. 1175 00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:39,200 I told you I didn't. I thought you killed Paula. 1176 00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:40,701 Told you I didn't. 1177 00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:41,494 But you kept talking about how you wanted her dead. 1178 00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:43,830 You said you wanted her dead, too, 1179 00:43:43,913 --> 00:43:45,623 and then you were with your fucking dad all night. 1180 00:43:45,706 --> 00:43:46,290 Doesn't mean I just went and murdered somebody. 1181 00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:48,709 I just got out of prison. 1182 00:43:48,793 --> 00:43:50,503 I just got out of prison, too. 1183 00:43:50,586 --> 00:43:55,091 Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Milkovich? 1184 00:43:55,174 --> 00:43:57,135 ♪ rock music ♪ 1185 00:43:57,218 --> 00:44:00,138 ♪♪♪ 1186 00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:01,597 Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Milkovich. 1187 00:44:01,681 --> 00:44:03,224 - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 1188 00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:09,272 ♪♪♪ 1189 00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:12,692 Okay, everybody, time to think outside the snail box. 1190 00:44:12,775 --> 00:44:15,486 What could we use these guys for? 1191 00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:17,572 What secret use do they have? 1192 00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:18,030 Garbage can liner. 1193 00:44:18,114 --> 00:44:21,701 [laughter] 1194 00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:25,913 For a 10% cut of our total sales, 1195 00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:29,709 what else could these little gold bitches be used for? 1196 00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:32,003 All right? Best idea wins. 1197 00:44:32,086 --> 00:44:33,296 Come on, guys. Be creative. 1198 00:44:33,379 --> 00:44:36,215 They're small and sparkly. 1199 00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:38,634 They reduce puffiness and cause burning. 1200 00:44:38,718 --> 00:44:40,553 Mm, might work for herpes. 1201 00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:42,221 I hear herpes. Do I have a counter? 1202 00:44:42,305 --> 00:44:44,056 Well, if you put 16 of them on your chest, 1203 00:44:44,140 --> 00:44:45,391 it'll help you quit smoking. 1204 00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:47,393 - Okay, good. - Glue stick. 1205 00:44:47,476 --> 00:44:48,936 - Paint thinner. - Just smoke the shit. 1206 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,855 Cure for snoring, 'cause your nose is burned off. 1207 00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:51,647 I like it, yeah. What else? 1208 00:44:51,731 --> 00:44:53,941 What's the main ingredient in 'em? 1209 00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:56,903 Uh, Korean, Korean, Korean, and caffeine. 1210 00:44:56,986 --> 00:44:57,904 Caffeine? 1211 00:44:57,987 --> 00:45:01,073 That's the main ingredient in Preparation H. 1212 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:04,118 Not that I know anything about hemorrhoids, 1213 00:45:04,202 --> 00:45:05,286 because I do not. 1214 00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:06,913 [clears throat] 1215 00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:12,293 I can't believe you thought I did it! 1216 00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:13,753 I can't believe you thought I did it. 1217 00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:15,463 I'm not the one fucking prone to murder here. 1218 00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:16,756 "Prone to m--" 1219 00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:18,883 Name me one person I've murdered! 1220 00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:23,095 Is this the only reason you proposed to me? 1221 00:45:23,179 --> 00:45:24,347 - No. - It is. 1222 00:45:24,430 --> 00:45:25,806 'Cause you thought I was fucking guilty. 1223 00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:27,475 There's plenty of fucking reasons. 1224 00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:29,101 But, yeah, I'd say it came up today 1225 00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:30,895 'cause not testifying against you is 1226 00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:33,231 a pretty big plus, Mickey. 1227 00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:36,609 So, uh, Misters Gallagher and Milkovich, 1228 00:45:36,692 --> 00:45:40,571 um, shall I proceed with the marriage license application? 1229 00:45:40,655 --> 00:45:42,949 Yeah, please, proceed. 1230 00:45:43,032 --> 00:45:44,450 Okay, great. 1231 00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:45,618 So, Mr. Milkovich, if you could just sign 1232 00:45:45,701 --> 00:45:48,454 right on that line there. 1233 00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:52,917 And now, Mr. Gallagher. 1234 00:45:55,878 --> 00:45:57,797 - Just sign... - [both] Yep. 1235 00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,298 Yep, right on that line right there. 1236 00:45:59,382 --> 00:46:00,007 That's good. 1237 00:46:01,467 --> 00:46:04,053 Mr. Gallagher? 1238 00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:06,180 ♪ bluesy rock music ♪ 1239 00:46:06,264 --> 00:46:09,392 [pen clatters] 1240 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:11,269 - You're fucking kidding. - Can we just talk for-- 1241 00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:12,311 Fuck. 1242 00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:15,147 Hey, can we have our paperwork back, please? 1243 00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:16,732 Sorry, sorry to waste your time. 1244 00:46:16,816 --> 00:46:18,985 Hey, Mickey! 1245 00:46:19,068 --> 00:46:24,073 ♪♪♪ 1246 00:46:24,156 --> 00:46:28,327 [indistinct chatter] 1247 00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:30,579 Hey. 1248 00:46:30,663 --> 00:46:33,833 Hey. Oh, did the silk dress not fit? 1249 00:46:33,916 --> 00:46:35,251 Uh... [chuckles] 1250 00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:38,504 Look, Claudia, I really like free gifts and free money-- 1251 00:46:38,587 --> 00:46:41,257 Oh, good, because I have one more thing 1252 00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:42,508 I'd like you to have. 1253 00:46:42,591 --> 00:46:43,175 What's this? 1254 00:46:43,259 --> 00:46:46,470 Just open it. 1255 00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:49,015 It's a luggage tag. 1256 00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:49,890 You put your name and address on there, 1257 00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:51,684 and then you attach it to your luggage, 1258 00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:54,228 which you should pack, because... 1259 00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:56,647 [imitating drumroll] 1260 00:46:56,731 --> 00:47:00,067 We're going on a girls' trip to Kennebunkport. 1261 00:47:00,151 --> 00:47:01,694 Beach weekend. 1262 00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:05,239 [scoffs] I don't even own a suitcase. 1263 00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:08,909 But even if I did, it's hard for me to accept this from you. 1264 00:47:08,993 --> 00:47:11,912 It's all making me feel like a prostitute. 1265 00:47:11,996 --> 00:47:13,581 Oh, God, uh, come here. Sit down. 1266 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:16,667 I am--I am so, so sorry. 1267 00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:20,671 Uh, that was not my intention at all. 1268 00:47:20,755 --> 00:47:22,965 I-I mean, yes, I did think you were a prostitute 1269 00:47:23,049 --> 00:47:24,508 when I picked you up on Ho Corner, 1270 00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:28,387 but I see now that you are much more than that. 1271 00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:30,389 Uh... 1272 00:47:30,473 --> 00:47:32,892 You make me feel 1273 00:47:32,975 --> 00:47:36,312 all flustered and tongue-tied and-- 1274 00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:41,233 [sighs] I am sorry about the gifts. 1275 00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:43,694 The truth is, it's the only way I know how to show affection. 1276 00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:45,946 I am working on it with my therapist 1277 00:47:46,030 --> 00:47:48,741 because my father was a withholding narcissist, 1278 00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:51,702 but, truly, I am sorry. 1279 00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:53,537 [sighs] 1280 00:47:53,621 --> 00:47:55,247 [Debbie] No. 1281 00:47:55,331 --> 00:47:57,500 Hey, I-I'm sorry, too. 1282 00:47:57,583 --> 00:47:59,960 I can see you were just trying to be nice. 1283 00:48:00,044 --> 00:48:02,171 And trust me, I'm fucked up, too. 1284 00:48:02,254 --> 00:48:04,882 I see your withholding narcissist parent 1285 00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:07,593 and raise you a set of drug-addicted alcoholics. 1286 00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:08,928 [both chuckle] 1287 00:48:09,011 --> 00:48:12,765 Let's have a true do-over. 1288 00:48:12,848 --> 00:48:14,642 We could even go dutch on dinner. 1289 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:17,895 Does dutch mean that you'll pay? 1290 00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:19,897 'Cause I doubt I could afford anything at this restaurant. 1291 00:48:19,980 --> 00:48:21,649 [both laugh] 1292 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:24,777 [door creaking] 1293 00:48:27,488 --> 00:48:28,948 [groans] 1294 00:48:29,031 --> 00:48:32,118 Do you remember Kyle Holmes, Frank? 1295 00:48:32,201 --> 00:48:33,452 What? Where am I? 1296 00:48:33,536 --> 00:48:35,454 Why does my head hurt? 1297 00:48:35,538 --> 00:48:36,705 I drugged your scotch. 1298 00:48:36,789 --> 00:48:38,791 That's Holmes, Frank. 1299 00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:41,877 H-O-L-M-E-S. 1300 00:48:41,961 --> 00:48:43,587 What? 1301 00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:46,799 Do you remember Kyle Holmes, Frank? 1302 00:48:46,882 --> 00:48:48,676 Why am I handcuffed? What the hell is this? 1303 00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:51,679 Kyle Holmes was my fiancé... 1304 00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:54,515 when my life was full of promise. 1305 00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:56,308 We were gonna get married... 1306 00:48:56,392 --> 00:48:58,644 until you ruined it. 1307 00:48:58,727 --> 00:49:02,022 Who are you? Who is this Kyle guy? 1308 00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:03,065 You know what you did! 1309 00:49:03,149 --> 00:49:05,234 I don't! I swear. 1310 00:49:12,741 --> 00:49:14,243 Summer of 1995. 1311 00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:20,499 It doesn't ring a bell? [scoffs] 1312 00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:24,253 Let's see if we can jog your memory. 1313 00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:29,675 It is an epidemic that we are facing in this country. 1314 00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:31,886 Street drugs, like crack, 1315 00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:36,640 ensnaring young American boys like you, 1316 00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:38,267 from good American families. 1317 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:41,562 That is why there is a war on drugs in this country. 1318 00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:42,563 [Frank] Is that him? 1319 00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:45,024 That's you, asshole. 1320 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:47,359 [judge] Instead of punishing this poor man, 1321 00:49:47,443 --> 00:49:49,487 the victim, who was seduced 1322 00:49:49,570 --> 00:49:52,364 into using illegal street drugs, 1323 00:49:52,448 --> 00:49:55,409 we're gonna punish the hoodlums, the miscreants 1324 00:49:55,493 --> 00:49:58,579 for perpetuating this dark epidemic. 1325 00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:01,916 Frank Gallagher, 1326 00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:05,878 this court reduces your charge to a misdemeanor, 1327 00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:08,005 and you are sentenced to 30 days in rehab. 1328 00:50:08,088 --> 00:50:11,050 [Frank] Thank you, Your Honor. 1329 00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:13,802 [judge] You have a good day now. 1330 00:50:13,886 --> 00:50:15,721 As for you, the deviant thug 1331 00:50:15,804 --> 00:50:18,057 that tried to rob and steal 1332 00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:21,227 this bright young man's future, 1333 00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:24,480 you are hereby sentenced to 45 years 1334 00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:26,732 for drug possession of crack cocaine. 1335 00:50:28,484 --> 00:50:29,568 Society's gonna be a lot safer 1336 00:50:29,652 --> 00:50:32,821 without you super predators out on the streets. 1337 00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:36,784 [light thud] 1338 00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:39,411 Twenty-four years he's been rotting in prison, 1339 00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:42,581 his entire adult life behind bars. 1340 00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:45,251 I-I-I mean, that's very unfortunate. 1341 00:50:45,334 --> 00:50:47,419 The '90s were a racist time. 1342 00:50:47,503 --> 00:50:49,838 But this feels like a "not me" problem. 1343 00:50:49,922 --> 00:50:52,299 This feels like a "not you" problem? 1344 00:50:56,345 --> 00:50:59,181 - You really don't remember. - I don't remember! 1345 00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:02,893 Look, admittedly, I was on crack at the time. 1346 00:51:02,977 --> 00:51:05,271 - [handcuffs tightening] - Ouch. 1347 00:51:05,354 --> 00:51:08,107 I'm going to the hardware store for supplies. 1348 00:51:08,190 --> 00:51:11,318 Why don't you watch the video a few dozen more times? 1349 00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:13,529 - It's on a loop. - It is an epidemic... 1350 00:51:13,612 --> 00:51:15,573 What kind of supplies? 1351 00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:17,658 The kind that might make you remember. 1352 00:51:17,741 --> 00:51:19,410 Wait, no, can't we-- 1353 00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:23,038 [judge] ...ensnaring young American boys like you. 1354 00:51:23,122 --> 00:51:24,873 All right, flashlights. 1355 00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:26,834 - Check. - Walkie-talkies. 1356 00:51:26,917 --> 00:51:28,002 Check. 1357 00:51:28,085 --> 00:51:29,962 - Tire irons! - Check. 1358 00:51:30,045 --> 00:51:31,880 - Tasers. - [both] Check. 1359 00:51:31,964 --> 00:51:34,133 - Chains. - [both] Check. 1360 00:51:34,216 --> 00:51:36,302 Do we have to keep saying "check" every time? 1361 00:51:36,385 --> 00:51:38,846 Because my throat's getting dry-- 1362 00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:40,848 Sorry, sir. 1363 00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:42,641 - Gloves. - [all] Check. 1364 00:51:42,725 --> 00:51:44,184 - Roll of coins. - [all] Check. 1365 00:51:44,268 --> 00:51:44,852 - Map of the South Side. - [all] Check. 1366 00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:47,271 All right, let's review. 1367 00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:50,065 You, you're gonna take half the platoon due west. 1368 00:51:50,149 --> 00:51:52,693 Your mission-- police this neighborhood 1369 00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,653 between point A and B. 1370 00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:56,030 I will take the other half due east. 1371 00:51:56,113 --> 00:51:59,658 We meet back at Camp Carl at 0600. 1372 00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:02,620 If someone fucks with you, you fuck back! 1373 00:52:02,703 --> 00:52:04,121 You will not sleep, 1374 00:52:04,204 --> 00:52:06,707 you will not eat until your zones are secure. 1375 00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:08,083 Am I clear? 1376 00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:09,793 - [all] Yes, Carl! - Good. 1377 00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:12,379 Head on swivel. Radios on. 1378 00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:14,340 On my command, move out. 1379 00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:17,885 Go, go, go, go! 1380 00:52:17,968 --> 00:52:20,387 Hi, there. I'm Kevin at the Alibi. 1381 00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:23,015 Hi. I'm Veronica at the Alibi. 1382 00:52:23,098 --> 00:52:25,309 [both] And we struggle with hemorrhoids. 1383 00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:27,394 Shh, Kev, that's embarrassing. 1384 00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:30,022 Why, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, V, 1385 00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:32,024 not when there's such an affordable and easy way 1386 00:52:32,107 --> 00:52:35,152 to cure hemorrhoids, for a very low introductory price 1387 00:52:35,235 --> 00:52:37,571 at the Alibi on the South Side. 1388 00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:39,698 That's right, Escargold Butt Patches. 1389 00:52:39,782 --> 00:52:42,785 Safe and easy to use. 1390 00:52:42,868 --> 00:52:45,537 You just rip open the package 1391 00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:48,374 and put 'em on your butt crack. 1392 00:52:52,002 --> 00:52:55,631 Wow, that is so easy. But does it work, Kev? 1393 00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:57,466 Why, yes, Veronica, it does. 1394 00:52:57,549 --> 00:53:00,886 Just listen to some of our happy customer's testimonials. 1395 00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:04,890 I used to have hemorrhoids. Now I don't. 1396 00:53:04,973 --> 00:53:07,518 Thanks, Escargold Butt Patches! 1397 00:53:10,312 --> 00:53:14,233 [both] So come see us at the Alibi. 1398 00:53:14,316 --> 00:53:16,860 Your butt will thank you. 1399 00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:20,406 - Okay. - [Kev sighs] 1400 00:53:20,489 --> 00:53:22,199 Posted! 1401 00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:23,450 How long you think before 1402 00:53:23,534 --> 00:53:25,119 people will come through the door? 1403 00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:26,662 Oh, that door is gonna bust open any second now. 1404 00:53:26,745 --> 00:53:30,582 Here we go. 1405 00:53:30,666 --> 00:53:32,209 - Shot? - Sure. 1406 00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:34,586 Any second now. 1407 00:53:34,670 --> 00:53:35,754 [exhales deeply] 1408 00:53:35,838 --> 00:53:39,925 ♪ rock music ♪ 1409 00:53:40,008 --> 00:53:41,260 I guess not. 1410 00:53:41,343 --> 00:53:43,178 Well, fuck, we tried. 1411 00:53:43,262 --> 00:53:46,014 Ladies and gentlemen, 1412 00:53:46,098 --> 00:53:47,099 today I take a knee 1413 00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:50,936 in support of the following causes-- 1414 00:53:51,019 --> 00:53:53,856 PETA's Lobster Empathy Center, 1415 00:53:53,939 --> 00:53:54,898 The Cigar Rights of America, 1416 00:53:54,982 --> 00:53:58,652 the Asperger Pride Movement, 1417 00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:01,155 Parents Who Are Against Miralax, 1418 00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:04,700 Parents Who Are Against Spelling Bees, 1419 00:54:04,783 --> 00:54:08,370 and Association for Canine Spirituality. 1420 00:54:08,454 --> 00:54:09,246 Thanks. 1421 00:54:09,329 --> 00:54:10,789 [feedback whines] 1422 00:54:10,873 --> 00:54:14,626 [cheers and applause] 1423 00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:18,881 [all, chanting] Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd! 1424 00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:21,592 Mickey, come on, hold up. 1425 00:54:21,675 --> 00:54:24,136 Leave me alone, Gallagher. 1426 00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:25,471 [Ian] It's just that I hadn't really thought 1427 00:54:25,554 --> 00:54:26,472 this marriage shit through. 1428 00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:28,724 I don't know, I didn't think we were gonna be 1429 00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:29,600 having this fucking conversation today. 1430 00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:32,519 Then why the fuck did you bring it up? 1431 00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:34,313 The whole thing was your fucking idea! 1432 00:54:34,396 --> 00:54:34,646 - You talked me into this shit! - I know! 1433 00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:36,148 I know! 1434 00:54:36,231 --> 00:54:38,901 Frank and Monica aren't exactly 1435 00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:40,611 the fucking picture of marital bliss, okay? 1436 00:54:40,694 --> 00:54:42,154 I don't really have a frame of reference 1437 00:54:42,237 --> 00:54:43,530 to connect this shit to. 1438 00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:45,240 - Oh, poor fucking you. - It's not personal. 1439 00:54:45,324 --> 00:54:45,991 - It's fine, it's fine. - It's not personal. 1440 00:54:46,074 --> 00:54:48,202 Mickey, I love you! 1441 00:54:50,954 --> 00:54:53,123 It's--it's marriage that I don't know if I love, you know? 1442 00:54:53,207 --> 00:54:56,168 Maybe, I-I-- I don't know. 1443 00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,628 But you're right, it is--it is really fucking important, 1444 00:54:57,711 --> 00:55:01,840 so can we just talk about it for one second, please? 1445 00:55:01,924 --> 00:55:03,675 I-- 1446 00:55:03,759 --> 00:55:04,676 I want to know how you feel, you know? 1447 00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,470 [chuckling] 1448 00:55:21,068 --> 00:55:23,904 ♪ lively piano music ♪ 1449 00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:27,866 ♪♪♪ 1450 00:55:27,950 --> 00:55:31,161 [Ian groans] 1451 00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:32,955 ♪♪♪ 1452 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:35,374 Fucking really, Mickey? 1453 00:55:35,457 --> 00:55:35,791 [Ian grunting] 1454 00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:37,751 Fuck. 1455 00:55:37,834 --> 00:55:40,921 [door opens] 1456 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:45,217 - [Lip] Hey. - Hey. 1457 00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:47,302 [Lip sighs] 1458 00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:55,519 Okay, so Aunt Oopie... 1459 00:55:55,602 --> 00:55:58,105 she can't be Fred's guardian, Tami. 1460 00:55:58,188 --> 00:56:01,900 No, yeah. I know. 1461 00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:04,403 She's racist as fuck. 1462 00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:08,365 I thought it would get more subtle with age, but... 1463 00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:11,159 What's with the third person? 1464 00:56:11,243 --> 00:56:13,495 "Aunt Oopie's here." 1465 00:56:13,579 --> 00:56:14,705 "Aunt Oopie baked." 1466 00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,708 I know. 1467 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,627 She's weird and sad. 1468 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:23,839 Doesn't mean that Aunt Oopie can't babysit, right? 1469 00:56:25,841 --> 00:56:28,176 It's not like Fred understands what she's saying. 1470 00:56:28,260 --> 00:56:29,970 [chuckles] 1471 00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:31,763 I don't think his hearing even works yet. 1472 00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:34,266 [sighs] 1473 00:56:34,349 --> 00:56:36,476 What if something happens to us? 1474 00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:40,772 We don't have anyone to be Fred's guardian. 1475 00:56:42,316 --> 00:56:44,693 So nothing'll happen to us. 1476 00:56:46,528 --> 00:56:48,614 Make a deal right now... 1477 00:56:48,697 --> 00:56:50,240 neither one of us will die. 1478 00:56:50,324 --> 00:56:51,950 [spits] 1479 00:56:52,034 --> 00:56:53,619 [laughs] 1480 00:56:53,702 --> 00:56:55,287 ♪ rock music ♪ 1481 00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:57,331 [spits] 1482 00:56:57,414 --> 00:56:59,791 ♪ 'Cause I think I feel the same as you ♪ 1483 00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:01,585 Deal. 1484 00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:04,463 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 1485 00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:07,674 ♪ Yeah, all I want is you ♪ 1486 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:10,010 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 1487 00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:11,553 ♪ Yeah, all I want is you ♪ 1488 00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:17,976 Hey, jaywalking's illegal. 1489 00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:19,853 [laughs] Buzz off. 1490 00:57:19,936 --> 00:57:22,606 You sure you want to say that to me? 1491 00:57:22,689 --> 00:57:24,358 Beat it before you get hurt. 1492 00:57:25,734 --> 00:57:27,402 [whistles] 1493 00:57:27,486 --> 00:57:30,322 ♪ rock music ♪ 1494 00:57:30,405 --> 00:57:33,283 - [Taser clicking] - [groans] 1495 00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:38,372 ♪♪♪ 105801