Original subtitles

[music playing]

[fighting]

This one's dead.

[non-english speech]

[stereo playing]

[siren]

ELAINE (VOICEOVER): They say be a benevolent person,

and you'll be blessed by heaven.

That way, you get to die in your own bed with your friends

and relatives around you.

Sam Wong must have made a few mistakes along the way.

The night he died, he left an awful lot of coins around.

Nobody knew who he was trying to call.

Hello?

Is there anyone there?

My first assignment-- I'm going to execute

a will that I can't even read.

[non-english speech]

Excuse me.

[horn playing]

[bell ringing]

[non-english speech]

Good to see you, ma'am, OK?

I don't know what's going on either.

Hello, Mama, sorry a bit late.

[non-english speech]

A pregnant woman cannot be with the dead.

Such simple common sense.

What did they teach you at Oxford?

What if the child becomes all mixed up?

Why worry?

It's going to be a mixed up kid anyway.

Isn't Michael coming?

[non-english speech]

Sorry I am late-- important mahjong game just now.

Lost watch-- bad luck.

Bad luck?

Don't you remember me?

Ah Chee, the cook.

The time I lost my restaurant to Sam Wong in mahjong game,

you arrange paper and everything.

Although Sam Wong hasn't met you,

he impressed with way you handle whole thing,

even though you're not real lawyer.

We save a lot of legal fees.

Sam trusts you.

Come.

Elaine, this is Cherry, Sam's number one daughter.

This is Siu Long, Cherry's husband.

[non-english] Elaine, lawyer.

[non-english speech]

I'm not quite a lawyer.

I'm just helping out I'm still studying,

not the bleeding Lord Chief Justice.

[non-english speech]

This is Ah Ying, Sam's wife.

[non-english speech]

Now not time to talk.

Family dinner at Sam's restaurant tomorrow night--

then we talk.

[non-english speech]

Excuse me.

Can I give you a lift?

It's all right.

I can take a taxi.

No trouble.

Is not safe for a girl to be alone this late.

Just one moment.

I didn't know you were a cop.

Yes.

No.

I was one.

Yes, no?

I mean, I don't understand.

Well, Hong Kong-- long story.

Must go back to my office.

Please come.

It will be fast.

Look, why don't I just take that taxi now?

Office right here.

Office?

Here?

[non-english speech]

Sam Wong-- good man.

We all respect him.

[non-english speech]

Doesn't Mr. Wong have two sons?

Only one was present this evening.

Both were not at my wedding.

The son's not the same as Mr. Wong.

Mr. Wong work hard, think fast, good gambler, good businessman.

[non-english speech]

Sounds quite an adventurer.

Chinese will sometimes very complicated.

It can be very messy.

If you need help--

Oh, this one sounds quite simple.

I don't think it'll be any problem.

Good.

You never know.

I'll drive you home.

No thanks. I'll take a taxi.

OK.

Say.

You never know.

Thanks.

[non-english speech]

Oh, Ah Chee, no more gambling, or my spirit

will harm you from the other side of the river below.

You got to be kidding.

UNCLE CHOI: Written by Sam Wong himself.

My restaurant not to be turned into a high-class tourist

wonton establishment.

Money not to be spent for Alan's [non-english].

[non-english speech]

What [non-english] mean?

[non-english] means fallen devil.

[non-english] means woman-- a fallen devil woman.

You already half [non-english].

Uncle.

Thanks for getting me into this.

Did you know Sam's wife when you were back in Chinatown?

Oh, Ah Ying?

She was really hard worker.

Sam Wong was very lucky.

And did they meet here.

No, she come from a fishing village in Hong Kong

to marry Sam Wong.

She know more than 17 years old where she first

come-- an arranged marriage.

Quite common then.

And Cherry is her daughter?

No, stepdaughter.

Sam Wong had another wife in China,

I think very long times ago.

Weird-- 17.

No stranger than you were first come from Macau--

seven years ago, ponytail, spoke not a word of English,

hide behind the couch whenever you saw an Englishman.

[knocking]

PETER: Where's my little Chinese lawyer?

you're evening classes seem to be

getting longer and longer, unless they're

teaching you something.

I don't know about.

What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?

All right, come on.

Oh, I've got a right to know where you've been evening.

That's all.

You're drunk.

Oh.

Peter.

Elaine, I was the one that taught you everything you know,

remember?

And I can still teach you.

Thanks.

Elaine!

Oh.

Where's room number one?

MAN: Authentic Chinese restaurant.

Oh, you have to start with the sweet and sour.

Now, that's the dish that tells you

just how good a place it is.

Yeah, and the roast duck.

Did you see the way they were hanging in the window?

That's against the law in LA now.

Waiter, we're ready to order now.

OK, what would you like to order?

We're going to try the wonton soup.

That's got vegetable, right?

Right.

Just say the number wonton soup number three, yes?

Number three, yes.

And roast duck, that's--

Number 11.

Number 11.

Sweet and sour, that's--

15.

15.

Dave, what was it you wanted?

Uh vegetable chop suey.

OK, number 23.

You want some fried rice with your food?

Got no fat.

Got no calories.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

OK, number 35.

You sure you got all that?

I didn't see you write anything down.

Sure. Sure, I got it.

100%.

Very clever, these Chinese.

Yeah, they're brighter over here.

Yeah, smartass.

Excuse me, I'm looking for the Wong Family.

Ah, you must be the lawyer.

[non-english speech]

Miss Elaine!

Won watch back.

I cook something special for you-- secret recipe.

Get on with it, Ah Chee.

The way you're carrying on, we won't finish

the dinner until midnight.

More like next Chinese New Year, the way

you lay that stupid table.

You have to shout an order in to be heard.

It's a Chinese meal, like this wok-- around table.

That's the way they bring meals in England-- over long tables.

This is English law.

And English law is very long.

-Alan? -Yeah?

How is Maggie?

She's fine.

She's fine.

This is the will made by Mr. Sam Wong, June the first, 1982.

I shall announce the items first,

followed by the names of the beneficiaries,

and then the conditions as stated by Mr. Wong.

The house on Wickham Street, to Mrs Wong,

also known as Ah Ying.

The food warehouse also to Ah Ying on condition

that my daughter Cherry continues to manage it.

The Chinese vegetable farm in the country to Mr.

Chen on condition that he visits the farm once a week.

The Golden Garden Restaurant to Mr. Chow,

known as Ah Chee on condition that Jimmy Lee take charge

of the management and that Mr. Chow refrain from gambling

for the next five years.

[non-english speech].

The Jaguar XLJ8 to Dr. Alan Wong.

The sum of 90,000 pounds to be evenly distributed

between my sons, Dr. Alan Wong and Mike

Wong and my daughter Cherry.

[non-english speech]

Over here.

Over here.

[coughing]

[non-english speech]

You!

You put him up to it.

[non-english speech]

The vintage sports car to Sarah Lee

upon her receiving a valid driver's license.

Sarah Lee?

Who is Sarah Lee?

Sarah Lee?

Finally, Sam Wong's restaurant-- the New Loon Fung

Restaurant to Mr. Michael Wong on condition

that it be managed in a traditional Chinese way.

The will only comes into effect after all parties have

signed the relevant documents.

[non-english speech]

Isn't your son, Mr. Michael Wong, coming?

You're too thin.

You eat more.

To Mr. Michael Wong, the new emperor.

[laughing]

[music playing]

[tape playing]

I'd like to know the procedure for sending

a dead body back to China.

[non-english speech]

Chairman Mao?

It's Prince Charles talking about intermediate technology.

What can I do for you?

I'd like to know the procedure for sending

a dead body back to China.

The dead man is Chinese, you see.

And he wanted to be buried in his native village in Toishan.

You understand.

Yes.

A dead Chinese wants to travel to China, right?

Sort of.

Will he need a visa?

It's not unusual.

[phone ringing]

[non-english speech]

The application form is coming.

Don't worry.

It is written in Chinese and in English,

so you can understand everything.

It's very simple.

Of course, someone, preferably related to the dead,

will have to accompany the body for entry procedures.

It's a pity that we have to speak to each other in English.

You should learn your Chinese language.

Go back to your homeland.

Homeland?

Which one?

Where else?

China, of course-- the central kingdom.

You must not wait until you're dead like your father,

you know.

My dad?

Oh, he died ages ago in Macau.

It's very close to China.

Excuse me.

[speaking italian]

I have an appointment with Mr. Michael Wong.

He's in the office, straight ahead through the open door.

Thank you.

Prego.

MICHAEL: Ethnic rubbish. -Really?

MICHAEL: And don't come back until you've

got an original idea.

A real Chinese restaurant-- real Chinese--

a Chinese who's for real, or a real person

who happens to be Chinese?

That's what it's all about, your father will, isn't it?

You work for my father?

Only concerning the will.

Oh.

One would never have guessed it.

In the past, it's always been Chinatown types,

if you see what I mean.

The will is ready for you to sign.

To be quite frank, Miss Choi, I'm not interested in running

another restaurant at the moment and certainly

not under conditions I can't remotely understand.

There is something else.

Right.

Beer is the best tonic for a hangover, especially

a New York to London hangover.

Cheers.

First lawyer I've met who turned down a drink.

Your father left instructions for his body

to be sent back to China for burial

in his native village in Toishan.

The Chinese embassy needs a signature

of the head of the family on the application form.

Avanti.

[speaking italian]

Grazie.

Ciao, Giorgio.

Are all the workers here Italians?

Yes, but the boss isn't.

Not exactly Chinese either.

This week is our Italian cream pie week.

The only time my father set foot in here,

he stormed out when the waiter failed to come

out with a pair of chopsticks.

You two look quite friendly there.

You must be talking about two different people.

They said goodbye to each other a long time ago.

So much for Chinatown.

What a waste of a wonderful cream pie.

Do you know how long it takes to make a really good cream pie.

Yes.

Well, the application form-- is it all right?

Well, that's what my father wanted,

and my father always got--

-You do know that someone-- -Hello?

--from the family must accompany

the dead body back to China.

Bruce, I sent those two clowns packing who

you sent over with the plans.

What do I think of the plans?

They're shit-- S-H-I-T, shit.

Now, look, we talked about a concept.

What do you send me?

Just a moment, Miss Choi.

Speak to my mother about the restaurant.

One more chance, Bruce.

We meet in New York, OK?

I'll be there in a couple of days, and I want it right.

Just get it right.

[whispering]

[non-english speech]

I'm sorry.

Oh.

My son, Mike, how is he?

He doesn't want the restaurant.

He says he doesn't know how to run a real Chinese restaurant.

He not want the restaurant or not want

the restaurant Sam Wong's way?

I think it's best you talk to him.

They didn't have candles at church

in my own village land, only incense.

[music playing]

I tell the gweilo, the foreigner,

what he want to hear.

But the best thing I put here.

Sam Wong climbed taller than any of us or any of them.

He just flew higher and higher and have

no time to look down or tell us what it look like up there.

[music playing]

Don't be frightened.

Be patient.

Please sign this.

No need for that.

I sign only after Mike sign.

Sam Wong knows what is the best for everyone.

[music playing]

Put it there.

The first principle of the Chinese

is China's the central kingdom, has the earliest civilization,

has one billion people, is poor.

The capital of China is Hong Kong?

BOY: The Chinese invented paper, gunpowder, printing.

The third principle.

The principle is a Chinese son must

always obey his parents and elders and never question them.

[non-english speech]

And they also invented McDonald's hamburgers.

Are you Chinese are not?

The way you two behaving, how can you live up

to your ancestor's expectation?

Dad, someone's been waiting outside for a long time.

Have you waited long?

Come sit down.

Please sit down.

-Sorry, am I disturbing you. -Thank god you came.

You saved us a lot of hassle.

Yeah, that was close.

I'll get it right this time.

Yeah, we must get it right this time.

Hey.

Hey, your dad's coming.

He's going to kill us.

Yeah, you. .

Mom, [inaudible] knows how to spell Chinese.

[non-english speech]

Thanks for getting us out of trouble.

Sorry to trouble you.

It is like this-- some questions about the will.

You want some tea?

What about the will?

It is not your mistake, but we think that the will

should be someone older, more experienced,

know Chinatown better.

I don't understand.

Our will is clear.

You're a stranger to Chinatown--

the shops, restaurant people.

We know someone who can help very much. .

I don't think that's really advisable.

You see, to appoint a new executive for the will,

you have to submit the request to the Court of Probate.

What it means is whatever profits Mr. Wong's business

makes during this period will end up going

to lawyers and court costs.

[non-english speech]

Excuse me?

We talk heart to heart.

This warehouse I work for 10 years.

I work very hard.

My father put me in charge here.

It is everything I have.

Now, Ah Ying get it.

She never even been here.

She get the house, this warehouse.

Even someone not the family get the farm.

How can I sit here and not do anything about it?

Calm down.

My wife is right.

She work hard here 10 years, not a short time.

Look, Why don't you discuss the matter with the beneficiaries?

A private and separate agreement can be made outside the courts

between you and the other.

Otherwise, Mrs. Wong or Mike Wong will have to adjudicate. .

You do understand.

The English law is not everything.

I'd choose restaurant.

I don't know.

about Ah Chee.

You'll be your own boss.

You'll be running it.

My protectors.

Otherwise, trouble from other [inaudible].

They're Chinatown's policemen.

Who is Sarah Lee?

You don't know this because you're from here.

Back home, in Hong Kong, everybody know this one.

See?

A woman warrior [non-english] disguised as a man defending

China against the foreigners.

Who is Sarah Lee?

Yes, very good people, real Chinese, just like the Queen.

The queen very Chinese, just like the woman warrior.

Respect the parents, loyal to family and country.

We should be like that, like--

Sam Wong?

ELAINE (VOICEOVER): I hope you're

listening to all of this, Sam Wong, wherever you are.

Maybe you're having better luck on the other side of the river.

persuading the spirits of your good intentions.

Must be a pushover compared with your family and friends,

Good intentions are getting me nowhere fast--

a big fat zero in the only mahjong game

I could ever get serious about.

[phone ringing]

MAN (ON TELEPHONE): Good afternoon.

Sam's Restaurant.

Hello, can I speak to Mr. Michael Wong?

It's Elaine Choi.

Thanks.

MAN (ON TELEPHONE): Un momento, senorita.

[chatter]

Is it all right to meet sometime tomorrow?

MIKE (ON TELEPHONE): Lunch.

ELAINE (VOICEOVER): Tomorrow, fine.

What time?

MIKE (ON TELEPHONE): 1:30.

OK, I'll be there.

Oh, one other thing-- did your father

call you the night he died?

[dial tone]

[music playing]

[phone ringing]

Yup?

Hello?

Hello?

MAN: [speaking italian]?

ELAINE: Mr. Wong's expecting me.

I wouldn't go in there.

Oh, don't worry.

I do know the way.

[shouting]

Take that.

[laughing]

One dry martini for table three.

[singing]

Vino. Vino, vino.

More vino.

Six years old-- not a good vintage.

He keeps the best stuff stashed away.

Six years old-- that's exactly how old I was when I had

my first glass of French wine.

Giorgio, the special.

Monsieur.

Per favore.

My father had this celebration dinner party with his friends

and business associates-- a proper Chinese meal.

You know, chopsticks.

The only foreign presence was an English gentleman-- oh yes,

and this French bottle of wine he brought along.

Many, many thanks to you, Mr. Orbach.

He first had me buy the restaurant and second got me

the license for business.

Very, very good friend to me.

MIKE: I didn't speak any English then.

Well, how are we going to turn young master

Wong into an English gentleman?

[non-english speech]

MIKE: He was the first Englishman

I ever made friends with.

You can't understand a word I say, can you?

[non-english speech]

Sam, we're going to have to do something about master Wong

here.

Well, come on, boy, throw back.

Retaliate.

Throw it back.

They won't.

Ow.

[non-english speech]

MIKE: He had impeccable taste in wine.

[non-english speech].

No need for that.

[non-english speech]

He says sorry.

Not to worry.

No harm done.

MIKE: That's when I discovered the forbidden delights

of Chateau Latour.

A week later, I was whisked away to boarding school,

no explanation from my father or anybody.

I saw it as my father's punishment

for my pinching the Englishman's wine.

Punishment for life, I'd say.

[laughing]

How perceptive.

You see, master Wong has since then

become irredeemably corrupt.

To the very model of an English gentlemen.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Such a great bullshitter.

All right.

All right, you bums.

Elaine and I are leaving.

What?

Leaving?

Have to excuse me.

I have be the absent host for a couple of hours.

[grumbling]

We've only just started.

St. John's.

St. John's.

It wasn't the Chateau Latour, was it?

My god, you took it all in like the others.

You believed every word I said.

[music playing]

A present from a friend.

Some friend.

ALAN: Why would he want his body sent over and buried in China?

Alan, whatever the reason, someone in the family

must accompany the body through customs

I still don't understand.

Do you and Alan see Mrs. Wong often?

Well, I'm supposed to eat these to have a healthy son.

She sends one over every week.

Do you know who Sarah Lee is?

You must be joking.

Nobody tells me anything around here.

ALAN: I'm sure you understand my position.

Oh, excuse me.

ALAN: Come in.

Come in.

Maggie's due soon, and it's our first.

Uncle Michael.

Can't you postpone your trip to New York?

You can do it, Michael.

Just change your schedule.

While we're here, would you sign this, please?

Oh great, the Jag

And 30,000 pounds kept in a trust fund

for your children's future education.

That will come in handy.

Which-- the money or the baby?

Both.

Exactly the same with Dad's restaurant

for you-- very handy.

Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, doctor.

Dr. Alan Wong, model Chinese son,

until Alan decided to marry an Englishwoman,

Mother spent the whole day in church praying

for Alan to change his mind.

Father disowned him.

The thing I like about the Wongs is they're

such a normal family.

That's none of your business, Miss Choi.

The will is my business.

[honking]

When did you last see your father?

When did you last see your dentist?

Annual bother.

MIKE: Father was a real gambler.

He never played safe.

ELAINE: A real gambler.

Who was your father calling the night he died?

[honking]

[music playing]

Take the wheel.

[tires squealing]

[grunting]

So what can I do for you?

More like what are you going to have to do for me?

My job is to execute a will, and I certainly

don't need no bodyguard.

You don't understand.

People like Mike is not like us.

Look at his stupid plans for pulling

Sam Wong's restaurant down.

Bullshit.

You're just worried it might affect your business interests.

Then see for yourself.

[music playing]

[chatter]

MR. CHEE: Sam work very hard and buy the other half.

He spent a lot of money-- lots more-- to fix the place.

Listen, all I need to check for the court

is firstly, the restaurant's license and secondly,

the business registration.

[non-english speech]

Listen, I'm not from the VAT.

Nor am I from the Inland Revenue.

And I'm not a sanitary inspector either.

Excuse me.

Are you from the Court of Probate?

Yes.

These people simply don't seem to understand a word I say.

I sometimes find you lot a bit inscrutable.

Do you have any milk?

The license.

He's not going to eat you, you know.

And the restaurant registration.

[music playing]

Oh, thank you.

There you go.

Oh, at last.

He always seemed so-- you know what I mean?

I'm so sorry to bother you and get you all dirty.

Oh, it's nothing.

Excuse me.

[non-english speech]

Everything OK?

Everything's [inaudible].

Ah.

Useless.

[non-english speech].

Mr. Chen is afraid of the government people.

I spoke to Mike and Alan yesterday.

I don't think either of them want to go to China.

Well, that's it.

Everything seems to be in order.

How do you come to speak such good English?

Same reason as you do.

Oh.

Well, thanks for all your help.

Goodbye. -Bye.

Goodbye.

Thank you.

Very nice cup of tea.

Bye-bye.

[non-english speech]

Oh, sorry.

[inaudible]

Oh, Mr. Chen.

I'm very, very busy.

I must go now. .

Mr. Chen, please.

MR. CHEN: I will soon sell my farm.

But you can't, not for five years!

I can't leave Chinatown.

I need my bone doctor.

You don't have to live there.

But you must see the farm once at least.

Why I must?

It's Mr. Wong's wishes.

Weren't you good friends.

--[laughing] All right, I must check Chinese calendar

and pick the right day.

-Why? -Why?

You're don't know?

This very important.

I did not leave Chinatown for over 20 years.

You didn't leave Chinatown for 20 years?

I can't leave Chinatown. I'm illegal citizen.

I began collecting newspapers in '53-- End of Korean

War, private collection.

1953?

Were you here that long ago?

Long before that-- 1936 we first come, me and Sam.

Sam?

We jumped ship in Liverpool.

1936-- very good year for ship jumping.

No good-- three years old.

You couldn't possibly be illegal.

You've been here for so long.

Mr. Wong wasn't illegal.

That's because he washed soldiers' clothes.

War?

Before the war, we wash common people's clothes--

very good business.

Then we help the war and wash soldiers' clothes.

So government made us legal because we help them.

So you both were legal?

Oh no, I not fill the government form.

Why become English citizen?

I stay in Chinatown.

I'm still Chinese.

And my own people protect me.

Where's my calendar?

Ah, here it is.

At last, my secret recipe--

Bean sprouts.

You know.

Where'd you grow them?

In restaurant basement-- my job after the war.

Stretch bean sprout.

Grow with just one light.

Very cold in the basement in winter.

That's why I got my bad leg.

Bean sprout-- very popular with gweilos.

My secret recipe-- I think I lost you a long time ago.

Mr. Chen, would you sign this now,

or do you want me to explain the details first?

Sign?

Sign what?

Just a document according to Mr. Wong's will.

Whose will?

Oh, Sam's.

You're [inaudible] sister.

Of course I am.

Good.

Now, you'll take out my will too.

I show it to you.

Here-- the inheritor-- Arsenal Football Club,

you know, the best team in the world.

Arsenal?

My god.

How about Spurs.

Sam go many time to see them.

1947-- Arsenal in cup final-- 1949-- Arsenal

the league champions-- 1972-- FAA [inaudible] champions.

You know, I never see them in real life.

Bad leg and working.

Sam tell me all about them.

Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, London Zoo-- like Arsenal,

I never see them in real life.

I give bean sprouts recipe to Arsenal

and everything in Chinatown to Arsenal.

Gambling clubs, mahjong palace, cake shops,

Sam Wong's restaurant-- everything to Arsenal.

I got everything written down in my will.

You'll help me my will like you help on Sam's.

Now, what do you say?

OK?

You think me crazy.

Me no crazy.

Very uncrazy.

I tell you one story.

This famous scholar dream himself as a butterfly.

He get up next day, you know what he think?

He think, how do I know I am not a butterfly

dreaming that I'm a man?

That is clever.

Did Sam call you the night he died?

Me?

No [laughing]

How do you know he call anybody?

Maybe someone call him.

So what?

Sam is dead.

I-- I don't want the farm.

[laughing] Butterfly.

[laughing]

I didn't know immigration law dating back to the 1930s

was part of the syllabus.

Pretty little Chinese lawyer.

I'm a mess without my little China girl.

My little China girl says treat me nice, and I'll be good.

Look, Elaine, it's just that I can

see the work is getting you down,

and well, I can help, like before.

After all, you are talking to one of the leading

lights in Chancery law.

English law isn't everything.

Well, we Happen to practice it here.

At least let me take you out for a meal tonight, hm?

Oh, come on.

Cantonese?

Posh Indian?

Nouvelle cuisine?

How about Italian?

[speaking italian]

A toast to Peter, our first-time visitor

to this establishment.

Cheers.

Such a coincidence one might say.

Was it your idea to come here, or was it yours?

Oh, mine entirely.

And as Elaine didn't object--

You know I'm no wine drinker.

In that case, Mike and I shall do to drinking.

And Winnie and Peter can order the food.

Anyway, here's to Winnie for coming

all the way from Hong Kong.

Actually, Winnie's doing some research here.

Well, you see my father has this plan

to develop a seven-story leisure complex in London's Chinatown.

You mean he's getting his money out when he can.

Well, it was Mike's idea really.

This was his reward.

Try it on.

I've already tried it.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

But wouldn't that involve rather complicated

rezoning procedures?

Oh, I'm sure Mike can fix that.

He's very good at fixing things, so I hear.

Who told you that?

Word gets around.

I hear you're involved in this case that Elaine's handling.

These things can be rather complicated.

Pretty simple, really.

Pretty simple.

I'll drink to that.

What other little surprises do you

have in store for me this time?

Ah, trade secrets.

As long as you got the chopsticks. .

Private joke. .

I spoke to your mother earlier this morning.

You've been seeing Mike's mother?

You two are--

Yes.

No.

--[speaking italian], are you ready to order?

Leave it to me.

I'll have a word.

Giorgio.

Were you born here like Mike?

No. .

And do you know his family well?

He rarely talks about them.

Strictly business, that's all. .

Excuse me.

MIKE: Alan, just don't mention anything about New York

to mother, all right?

And keep Siu Loong out of it.

I'll talk to you later.

Bye now.

Miss Choi, I think you've been trying to tell me something.

Whatever gave you that idea?

I'm just slightly pissed off because you

and your mother made me feel like a bleeding ping pong ball.

I shan't ask you to transmit any more m--

Look, why don't you two just speak direct to each other?

If you and Alan don't want to go with the body,

then why don't you just have him buried here?

I mean, England does have cemeteries, you know?

You really think it's that easy?

What do you mean?

You don't understand a bit about my mother.

Bury him here-- yes, you try to tell her that.

And you're trying to bury Sam Wong's restaurant

under seven-story leisure complex-- wonderful idea. .

That is why you will not sign his will.

Private joke.

Pazzo.

TELEVISION: [shouting]

[music playing]

[shouting].

(SINGING) [non-english speech]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Elaine?

I'm afraid she's asleep.

Can I take a message then?

Sorry, I don't know.

OK.

(SINGING)[non-english speech]

FORECASTER (ON TELEVISION): Good morning.

Well, it's a cold morning again, with fog

and icy roads and frost about.

Fog particularly in the eastern part of England

and southern central areas-- dense fog patches.

I don't want to underestimate those.

They're going to stay around for quite some time.

So if you're allowing another [inaudible].

I forgot to tell you.

Last night a certain Sarah Lee called you,

but you were asleep.

What did she want?

Some stranger-- she wanted the date off Sam Wong's funeral.

And then she hung up.

Did she leave any number?

No, not at all.

She really whacked me in the eye.

Are you sure you're OK?

Foreign girls are shit.

You must not tell anyone about this.

Promise, OK?

DOORMAN: Sorry, chief. Closed.

Is Sarah around?

We're her friends.

Oh, Sarah Lee?

Don't work here no more-- left.

When?

Oh, it must be about two weeks ago.

Is she working anywhere else?

Don't think so.

Then she got married and left.

Married?

You could be held under the Trades Descriptions Act.

Oh, yeah?

This is my very good [inaudible].

One of your girlfriends?

Girlfriends?

Shit.

What did she try on you-- her latest kung fu?

Oh, [inaudible].

Foreign girls big trouble.

Only good for having fun.

Spend every penny.

I'll save money.

ELAINE: A Chinese girl's good for raising family.

Is good for--

Exactly.

Big trouble.

Rainbird, I've been trying to call you all week.

Jimmy, where were you last Saturday night?

We were supposed to see your latest kung fu video,

and don't give me any of that rubbish about having

to help out at the video shop, because you

were seen with some blond.

Actually, Jimmy's been helping me

out with the affairs of the Wong family, right, Jimmy?

In fact, you've got these to sign.

Otherwise, Chinatown will know about Sarah Lee.

And I suppose about the blond who gave me the smack.

Be a hero, like the Woman Warrior.

Would you run the restaurant with Ah Chee?

Neither would I. I'm only doing this for Sam.

He was like a father to me.

He wants me to look after Ah Chee's well-being.

Exactly.

See for yourself, Rainbird.

I don't even have time to sign these papers on a proper table,

so busy helping out this famous lawyer.

I can see Jimmy has very good taste.

Rainbird, where'd you get that black eye from?

You.

Rainbird.

--[non-english speech] Chinese mushroom.

[non-english speech]

Hello, Elaine.

Please, Miss Choi, will you give me a hand here?

You celebrating?

The warehouse is not doing business anymore.

Cherry close it.

It is her way to protesting against the will.

Well, everything will be settled when

I come back from the Toishan.

Toishan?

Yes.

I don't understand.

Oh, please, would you mind?

Don't be frightened.

ELAINE: How long are you going for?

I have been here since I was 17.

I haven't been back for my own village long, long time.

I still have the relatives there.

People says [non-english].

I'm must go back when I can.

Elaine, why are you crying?

Please don't cry.

I'm happy because I'm going back at last.

Now, don't cry, please.

Don't cry.

I'm happy.

See?

This won't solve anything.

The shop's got to do business.

Well, you better talk to Ah Ying, then.

She's leaving. -Leaving?

Are you all right, Grandma?

Oh, I'm all right.

[non-english speech]

Elaine?

When I'm away someone else will own the store,

but the will must be observed.

The paper you gave me last time-- I sign it now

[non-english speech]

Bye, Grandma.

Bye.

[non-english speech]

The third principle-- Chinese always obeys their elders,

never questions them.

Third principle?

You tell Ah Ying's son Michael Wong that he's

playing a heartless game.

And what game are you playing?

No one, but no one, messes around with Sam Wong's wishes.

[music playing]

[laughing]

[wind noises]

[laughter]

[door opening]

[footsteps]

[door closing]

See?

Like this.

[knocking]

MIKE: Hello?

Ah Chee told me you'd been to the warehouse.

He didn't tell me you were clearing the place out, though.

[non-english speech]

So, mother is all prepared to go

Somebody has got to go with the body.

Please, would you ask my mother is she leaving for good?

Tell Mike after funeral in Toishan,

I will go back to my home village to visit my relative.

Too bad Mike too busy.

This would make your father very happy.

In that case, why didn't Father put that in his will?

Would it make difference, yes?

No, it wouldn't.

Is this asking so much from you, just for your father?

He's dead.

No.

No.

No.

He still lives.

This is Toishan-- his final resting place. .

Miss Choi, while I am here, I sign the paper, if you have it.

Have you decided about the restaurant yet?

Don't waste it.

Finish it.

When I'm not here, who's going to take care of you, huh?

Finish it.

[burning]

Now, be sure your father get enough money.

Burn it all.

Finish it.

My mother's making sure the old man has enough spending

power in the life hereafter.

It's more than enough for one.

She wants to be buried next to Sam.

Is that why you won't go with her?

MIKE: Here's to this lethal concoction.

Yuck.

There's this old Catholic church nearby

with a really steep staircase.

I used to sit there for hours reading comics.

MIKE: [inaudible]?

Women warriors fighting.

Amazing clothes they used to wear.

Women warriors? Oh!

Woman warrior.

My parents died in a fire.

It's all the junk of fire there.

It's beautiful.

Then the funeral rites-- Christ, I'm talking like Mr. Chen.

Doesn't seem to have been a very successful dessert.

A 50-story building, each floor representing

a particular Chinese dish.

The customer starts on the ground floor

with the hors d'ouevres-- lobster in lotus blossom--

and slowly works his way up.

Banana and Peking duck, Pacific scallops with sub-tropical

seaweed, Cantonese rice paddy birds with Tibetan honey,

et cetera, et cetera, all the way up to the top floor over

a whole evening and ends up in this magnificent view

of a central London, and the last dish--

wonton soup with real wonton-- an emperor's meal. .

The mecca of Chinese cuisine, but built like it's invisible.

In Gerrard Street.

To the future Attorney General.

You've got too many secrets up there.

A magician.

Elaine!

Elaine.

Invisible magician.

(WHISPERING) Elaine.

The invisible magician salutes the invisible Mecca

of Chinese cuisine.

The woman warrior.

Mr. Restaraunteur.

Please, your mother.

Damn!

[glasses breaking]

[crying]

[praying]

[sobbing]

Oh, Sam.

[sobbing]

Mr. Wong sure had good taste.

[crying]

[music playing]

Don't worry about Sam.

He's doing OK.

He's always getting the perfect mahjong hand.

Have you been gambling again?

Nah.

Why are you so happy about it?

I can always make it up when I kick the bucket.

It Makes me feel good about dying.

Imagine the perfect hand.

Miss Choi, would you mind?

The Wong family in England.

OK, smile.

[camera shutter]

Come on.

The motorway's murder after four,

and we've got a plane to catch.

You better get going.

Ah Chee.

What do you mean, "we?"

Right.

Don't be afraid.

[music playing]

[car starting]

So you passed your driving test.

The vintage car went with Sam.

No Sam, no car.

We had some good drives together in the countryside.

He loved the countryside.

It's a shame, really.

I think Sam would rather have been buried here.

ELAINE (VOICEOVER): Mr. Chen once said that gweilos always

ask the question why, but for him,

everything moves in cycles, The end is the beginning,

like Sam Wong returning to his birthplace with open eyes..

8577-85156.

OK, thanks very much.

Off you go.

[phone ringing]

MAN (ON TELEPHONE): Hi.

Hello, is there anyone there?

MAN (ON TELEPHONE): Hi.

Hello?

MAN (ON TELEPHONE): [non english speech]

Is there anyone there related to Mr. Sam Wong?

[non-english speech]

Hello, this is Mr. Sam Wong's lawyer calling.

I'm calling from London.

MAN (ON TELEPHONE): [non english speech]

Toishan?

MAN (ON TELEPHONE): [non english speech]

[laughing]

ELAINE (VOICEOVER): Sam Wong-- you had it all worked out,

calling your brother in your native

village about the arrangements for your own burial. .

[music playing]

Buckingham Palace, just like on postcard.

Cool.

The real thing.

Must take photos of Parliament.

[inaudible]

Big Ben, hold it.

The Hyde Park [inaudible].

Drive here.

Look.

[music playing]

[laughing]

Cool.

There's enough vegetable here for the rest of my life.

[non-english speech]

[shouting]

[cheering]

[shouting]

Come on, [inaudible].

[shouting]

[cheering]

[shouting]

Ha!

Your old neighborhood in Macau--

cow the old house are gone.

The church is still there-- a little more dilapidated.

And I couldn't find the comics with the woman warrior.

They went out of print a long time ago.

You know, when I was over there, I had this fantastic dream.

I dreamt of myself as a kid again lost in some alley.

One of those kinds of dreams.

When are you going to sign the will?

I saw this man with his back to me.

I ran towards him to ask him the way.

He didn't answer.

He just flew away like a Chinese Monkey King.

I turned into Superman and flew after him.

I got closer and closer, and finally I overtook him.

When I looked at him, guess what.

It wasn't a him.

Guess who it was.

[laughing]

Open it under the tree.

[music playing]

What's it like up there?

Elaine!

What's it like up there?

[music playing]

Very good country here.

When I die, I want my grave here, facing east

and looking at home far away.

Yes.

I want this place.

[music playing]