Original subtitles

Andrey Miagkov

My heart is sad - I dare not tell, My heart is sad for Somebody.

I could wake a winter night For the sake of Somebody.

There's no one with me, I've got to find Someone.

AN OFFICE ROMANCE I could range the world around For the sake of Somebody.

For the sake of Somebody...

I could range the world around...

Play: Emil BRAGINSKIY Eldar RYAZANOV

Director: Eldar RYAZANOV

As you all know...

...labour ennobles mankind.

That is why people find delight in going to work.

I personally go to work...

...only because it ennobles me.

If not for statistics...

...we wouldn't have the slightest idea...

...how well we work.

This is Ludmila Prokofievna Kalugina.

Director of our statistic bureau.

She knows well the business that she manages.

Such things do happen, too.

She comes to the office well before hours.

And leaves after everyone has already left.

Which means that, alas...

...she is not married.

We call her "our hag".

Behind her back, certainly.

Music: Andrey PETROV

Every morning, before I get to work...

...I get rid of my hooligans.

Here are 40 kopecks, buy 2 cartons of milk.

- Don't you forget that! - OK!

And don't forget to eat breakfast!

Now, you. When will you stop misbehaving?

Why does everybody complain of you?

I'm not misbehaving!

Why don't they complain of other kids?

Why did you eat playdough?

But I ate it with sugar!

But you're a grown-up man.

You know you can't eat playdough.

Why did you lock Masha in a wardrobe?

I locked her, and then lost the key.

Go! And don't you dare to smear the teacher's chair with glue!

OK, OK!

My name is Anatoly Efremovich Novoseltsev.

I exist on my salary, that is, hand to mouth.

In a word, I make ends meet...

...finding ways and means.

This is Olga Petrovna Ryzhova. Olya.

Songs lyrics: Robert Burns, Evgeniy Evtushenko, Nikolai Zabolotskiy, Eldar Ryazanov Poem: Bella Akhmadullina

Songs sung by: Alisa Freindlich and Andrey Miagkov

She's my truest friend.

We became friends when we were students.

What I like most of all about her is her optimism.

Come what may...

...but we all know that optimists move the Earth.

There are too many people in our city.

Too many visitors, and too many cars.

And all are rushing somewhere, all are late for something.

There are crowds everywhere, standing in long lines.

But anyway, I love this city.

This is my city.

It is a very good city.

This is Verochka.

She is inquisitive, like all women...

...and feminine, like all secretaries.

Her salary is that of a secretary.

But her outfits are all of foreign make.

How she manages that is mystery.

And this is Shura.

She is likeable but, unfortunately, energetic.

Once she was put forward as a union activist...

...and since then nobody has managed to put her back.

Refreshed by mandatory morning exercises...

...in the public transportation system...

...we finally come to the office.

Hi.

Morning.

Vovka has torn his shoes again.

Where can I get 20 rubles till payday?

No idea.

Wait a sec, I'll buy some pills.

Something for my head, please.

Comrades, it's a collection!

Don't go away! People, 50 kopecks each.

What is it today?

Masha has got an addition to the family.

Not my fault.

Who's been born?

A boy or a girl. I have not found out yet.

People, stay here, who has not paid!

Sign for me, too.

Who has not paid for Masha, don't leave!

What a nasty voice!

Where can I find 20 rubles?

I wish I were appointed the Head of Department.

I would appoint you.

You're a superb statistician, with great experience.

Go see our hag and talk to her.

Jesus, who to appoint but you?

No, it's past belief.

Let's go.

Go talk to our hag. Tell her you've got two kids.

She doesn't even know that there is such a thing as kids.

She's sure they are born as adults...

...in accordance with the staff instructions.

But extra 50 rubles do not grow on trees.

No, they don't...

It's not even about the money.

I am just bored sitting at my desk.

I feel an overaged retard.

I can do more.

Then go to her office and tell her that.

No, I won't talk to her.

I hate begging. I am a proud man.

Each morning starts the same way in our bureau.

It's become a habit.

A tradition.

I'd say, a ritual.

Peter Ivanovich Bublikov.

Head of Public Catering Dept.

Maybe that's why he is so... well-padded.

And this is Yuri Grigorievich Samokhvalov.

He is a very good man.

I have known him for ages, since university.

All this trouble started when he came.

It started one usual morning...

...when our statistic beauties...

...were through with the war paint...

...and dived into the delightful, magical, poetic world...

...of the accounts, balance sheets, and profit-and-loss reports.

You were the last to leave. Have you checked the lock?

[Why are you asking?]

[We split up yesterday.]

I do remember. You were very rude.

I am sorry. Is Ludmila Prokofievna in?

Yes, wait a minute.

By the way, you fried eggs on my pan...

...and didn't even wash it!

What is that rubbish that you are smoking?

By the way, my name is Yuri Grigorievich.

I'll call you back!

I am sorry, I thought you are a visitor.

So, is Ludmila Prokofievna in?

Yes, please.

Good morning, Ludmila Prokofievna!

I am present for duty.

Guess what I'm smoking right now!

Marlboro!

Rich man's generosity.

The new Deputy cast off a whole block of cigs.

Making friends with a secretary.

Right now he is at the crone's.

[And I don't care now, who makes friends with you.]

Sorry. I called you automatically.

Never will call again.

Allow me to bring you a present from Switzerland.

This is an 8-colour pen.

Very convenient for signing documents.

Black is for "Refuse"...

...red is for "Pay", green is the colour of hope...

...blue is for "Consider further".

Thank you.

Very funny. Please, have a seat.

Vera, call Novoseltsev, please.

Which Novoseltsev?

A Novoseltsev.

A weak, inactive worker. We have many of them.

So, Yuri Grigorievich...

Anatoly Efremovich!

Kalugina wants to see you.

Coming!.. She is calling me herself.

Do not lose your chance.

You have to leave her office the Head of Department.

You say! For her, I am zero. Just like anybody else.

So, review the work of the Chemical Industry Dept.

Fine. in Switzerland, I worked with chemical statistics...

...then supervise the installation of computers.

Yes. In Switzerland, computers...

I am very glad they have computers there.

What I am not glad about, though, is our Light Industry Dept.

It is still without a head...

[Novoseltsev is waiting.]

...and I can't find a fitting candidate.

Let him in!

Come in!

Come in, don't be afraid.

You called me, did you?

Take a seat, comrade Novoseltsev.

Tolya! Tolka, damn you!

Yurka! What brings you here?

- Where are you from? - I work here.

What's the matter, comrades?

Glasses, moustache, you're bald!..

Well, not bald completely...

Comrade Novoseltsev.

This is my old friend.

I see.

Comrade Novoseltsev.

Well, wait a sec.

Comrade Novoseltsev, is this your report?

Yes.

When you do something...

...do it carefully or don't do it at all.

Statistics is a science. It does not bear approximations.

How can you use unverified data?

Why? I verified them.

Have you ever noticed regular interruptions in the supply of goods?

Sure, I go shopping.

In Switzerland, shops...

This happens because deliveries...

...are scheduled by such gapers as you.

Kindly rework it.

Getting back to our business.

I ask you as my deputy to pay a special attention to discipline.

Unfortunately, our discipline is rather poor.

Novoseltsev, anything else?

Ye...es.

What?

A question...

Which question?

No, no questions.

No questions? You may go.

Tolya, please wait for me there. I'll be quick.

During work hours, they would run shopping.

And recently we had an outrageous case.

Absolutely shocking, in my opinion.

In the women's toilet room - pardon me...

Somebody put a "Pantyhose for sale" ad there.

It's perfectly monstrous.

Do you know who was appointed our hag's deputy?

No. Who?

Guess.

Can't guess. Who, then?

Yurka!

Which Yurka?

Skip it! As if you didn't go out together.

Samokhvalov!? Who could've thought that!?

How does he look now?

Fit as a fiddle.

- Yura! - Olya...

Jesus, you look smart.

Only against me.

Olya, you haven't changed a bit.

You say!

I am so glad to see you.

So am I.

Guys, where can we talk?

I can't invite you to my office.

Kalugina ordered that it should be repaired.

As always, you know: a new boss starts...

...with repairing his own office.

How's life, Olya?

Great.

A separate flat, not in the city, but close to the railway station.

And my son, Vitka, is 14 already.

He is a sportsman, winner of the long-jump competition.

What's that you're smoking? Hold this. Marlboro.

And my husband is also OK.

Professor Pokrovskiy himself operated on his ulcer.

The surgery was successful.

And then they sent him free to a health resort.

He's there now.

So that's it, I live, keep in pace.

"The smoke of Fatherland is sweet..."

And how are you?

I'm OK.

I worked in Geneva for the last two years.

- A Swiss souvenir. - Thanks.

And how are things in Geneva?

Complicated.

Listen, talking about Switzerland...

...can I rob you of 20 rubles?

This goes against my principles.

I never borrow from my superiors.

I haven't been consecrated yet.

Then I can do it. So far. I will pay you back on payday.

It's so good you've been appointed.

You should help Tolya.

What's the matter?

Olya, stop it! Stop it, please!

It's just a rank injustice. We have a vacancy.

Tolya is the best candidate.

Olya, I beg you, calm down.

He's clever, he's experienced.

Then, he's got two kids on his back.

How are old the kids? And who's your wife?

That woman dumped him and left him with two kids.

It was me who took the kids away from her. It doesn't matter, really.

It's Novoseltsev. Spitting!? Give him what for!

I'll be a bit later. Yes. I will go and buy shoes.

And fetch him then. Thanks.

I like this idea of appointing Tolya.

Just go and appoint him, if you're the boss.

I'll go and appoint him right away.

Guys, stop it, please. I made errors in the report.

And I could change for the worse in all these years!

You can't be too bad to become the head of a department.

- That's true. - Wait here.

Yura, it's not the right time, believe me!

You know, he hasn't changed a bit.

No. But if he goes on like that, he won't stay here for long.

Tolya, please, be honest... am I still... good-looking?

Olya, how can you... you're perfectly all right.

Ludmila Prokofievna, I've got an idea.

What if we make Novoseltsev...

...the Head of the Light-Industry Dept.?

That he has made a bad report means nothing.

It's just that he stayed too low for too long.

I've known him for long, he's very bright.

Speaking of old friends, I would rather appreciate your rating people...

...by their business qualities.

Pardon me.

Failed so far. But you can't do that at one blow.

Guys, have some patience, and it'll be OK.

I've always believed in you, Yura.

No, it's hopeless...

Don't be afraid, in the office, I'll stay strictly business-like.

You have always been so tactful, Olga Petrovna.

Well, you have a chat...

I'll go shopping before they close for lunch.

We have a very bad lunch break.

Same time as in grocery stores.

What time makes to us...

Do you remember how she looked once?

We are not getting any younger either, are we?

With women, it's more obvious.

I would really like to see my friend in this position.

Understandable. A new broom...

...places its new men everywhere, right?

- You are my man, I hope. - Sure.

Although up to now I've been nobody's.

Let's go down, I will show you something.

Vera, please call my car.

First floor, please.

Just a sec! Are you our new deputy?

Good!

Masha Selezneva has an addition to her family.

Give me 50 kopecks and sign here.

It's real sweet!

How pleasant to see a man respond in such a way.

Take the change.

No, I spare no expense for Masha.

Have you paid?

I have paid.

- Have you? - I have!

Have you bought new boots, Vera?

I haven't decided yet. Do you like them?

They attract too much attention.

I wouldn't wear such boots.

And if I were you, I wouldn't be interested in boots during the hours.

They are good boots, then. I have to buy them.

Kalugina has no great opinion of you.

She thinks you're a mediocrity.

I think she's right.

Irony is a mask for the helpless.

But we have to find a way to approach her.

What's her weak point?

She has no weak points.

She is a woman, not young, not beautiful, lonely...

She is no woman, she's the director.

What's this? Your car?

Get in, little boy.

I'd say! Is this a Volga?

In a way.

Get in.

It's a small apartment!

And what's this?

Just a stereo.

Ooh... built-in, isn't it?

Two speakers, left and right.

I am going to the Ministry, will be back late.

Comrade Novoseltsev, attend to your report, finally.

Ludmila Prokofievna, so I am waiting for you tonight.

I'll be there.

If you only knew, how dreadful she is to me.

Like a wolf.

I am having a party tonight to celebrate my appointment.

Please, come too.

While out of the office, try to establish a contact with her.

Try stepping up to her a bit.

If I suggest you promotion again, she'll growl at me.

How can I step up to her, when she growls?

No, it's a brilliant idea.

Treat her as a woman.

I can't treat her as a woman.

As a man, I can't.

Yes, I can, as a man...

I do not suggest your flirting her seriously...

...with far-reaching intentions.

Just, well, go for her... slightly.

No position in the world can make me step up to her.

Let's make a deal: I am not stepping up...

...and you invite Olya, eh?

I am invited, and she's not.

What's Olya for?

Yes, anyway! Come around eight.

Bite in. It's good. Why aren't you eating?

Your home is very nice. Cosy.

And I like your wife.

Here, we have matching tastes.

I hope they will also match in our work.

What is this thing?

It's a mobile. Kinetic sculpture.

You know, it's in high fashion in Europe. Used to decorate interiors.

Illusion of a motion. A concept developed by Scalder, an American.

Our time is all rush and no peace. At home, it helps to settle your nerves.

Interesting.

Get back to your guests, they will be bored without you.

How can I leave you alone?

I'll just sit here, browse through magazines.

Noise wears me down.

I like being alone. Don't bother.

- Have a rest. - Thank you.

Tolya, can I see you for a sec?

Coming.

- Tolya! - I'm coming.

You glutton.

It's a favourable situation.

She is alone there having a rest.

Good, I will not interrupt her.

Stop being a fool!

Go and offer her a cocktail.

You're the host, you do.

I do understand. She's a scarecrow.

Don't look at her, look aside.

Have pity on me! I'm afraid of her!

Tolya, seize the chance!

- I am afraid. - Tolya, go ahead!

Well, how do you feel, Olenka?

Your life's grand, Yurka.

Try that salad.

This one? I have.

I am making this salad better than your wife.

You should add apple paste in it.

Your character hasn't changed.

Do you remember my character?

I remember everything.

So do I.

Tolya! What's this!? Go!

Tolya!

Go now!

Oh Lord, why is it happening to me?

May I come in, Ludmila Prokofievna?

You may, comrade Novoseltsev.

Thank you very much.

Have a seat.

Not here.

- Have you got some question? - No!.. Yes.

Have a cocktail.

I do not drink, comrade Novoseltsev.

And right you are. Neither do I.

Then why have you brought it in?

To drink it.

But it was a mistake.

And not the only one.

Ludmila Prokofievna, I want to say...

You were amazingly far-seeing.

What's that!?

An extraordinary foresight.

I am currently reworking my report...

...and you know, it's getting better and better.

Glad to hear it, comrade Novoseltsev.

Do you like picking mushrooms?

What?

M-mushrooms. Birch mushrooms.

Aspen mushrooms. Mushed... mushrooms.

Not interested.

My most sincere condolences.

Picking mushrooms is amazing.

Take stump mushrooms,. They grow on stumps.

If you find a good stump...

...you can gather a nice pile of stumps... mushrooms.

Aspen mushrooms, they grow... under aspens.

Under birches. Under... spruce... -es.

In dry summers, they like it where it's wet... in hollows.

You find a hollow, and... there... picking them, one by one.

You're a great expert in mushrooms, comrade Novoseltsev.

In mushrooms, yes.

My name is Anatoly Efremovich.

I will remember it. Would that be all?

No. Yes.

You may go, comrade Novoseltsev.

Why haven't you offered her a cocktail?

She doesn't drink.

And what were you doing?

What were you talking about?

Mushrooms.

Why mushrooms?

What else, Yura?

Snakes?

I tried to court her... I just don't know how.

Last woman I courted was my wife. 12 year ago.

I must have lost the knack.

Did she understand you were courting her?

I think not.

Yura, have you been to a striptease show?

- Never. - And honestly?

- Why would I need that? - I would certainly go.

Comrades, Swiss cheese, Greek olives. You are welcome.

- Do you want to be a senior statistician all your life? - No.

Can't you think of something else but courting?

When I see her, my legs sprawl.

Don't stand. Sit down.

I don't know what to talk about.

Talk about something intellectual. She's a clever aunt.

Intellectual? Damn... I can... intellectual.

Only, she wouldn't understand.

I will go refresh myself and start casting pearls.

Yuri Grigorievich! Why don't you invite me to dance?

I'm inviting you, Olga Petrovna.

After I asked you myself.

Do you remember how we skipped the finance lecture and went to a cafe?

You made a grand order, and then you didn't have enough money.

I do remember.

Listen, this Bublikov, is he from the Catering Department?

- Yes. He is the Head.

- What kind of a man is he. - Career-seeker.

Won't your wife be jealous?

- Of whom? - Of me.

Sure will.

Do you remember how we went kissing to Kuntsevo?

It's not a forest any more, it's a city.

I do remember.

What can you say about that Borovskikh?

A swell guy.

You know, I am dancing with you now...

...and it is as if no time has passed.

Well, off I go.

Step on the intellect, Tolya.

It's me again.

Haven't we said good-bye already?

That's right. Then let's say hello again... shall we?

Hello, Ludmila Prokofievna.

Good evening.

May I have a seat?

Suit yourself.

Yes. Well. Thanks.

Aren't you bored, Ludmila Prokofievna?

No. I am used to being alone. So I am never bored.

So, I may go, right?

You may stay. You are not disturbing me.

A cigarette, a match, a matchbox?

Thank you.

And I, if you please...

Cognac, whiskey, gin, tonic, vodka?

We've agreed I do not drink.

Damn, right! Something happened to my memory...

What's in the papers?

So far so good.

Why are we sitting here silent, as if we have nothing to talk about?

Let's talk.

We have talked about the report...

You are not interested in mushrooms, are you?

You're right.

Berries? Not interested either?

Only in jam.

And verses, in poetry? How do you treat them?

With respect.

Excellent! Let's talk about poetry.

You know, when I was young, I wrote verses myself. Didn't you?

No, I had no talent.

Neither had I.

I will read you a little bit, and you will see for yourself.

Maybe we shouldn't run the risk?

Why? Let's try.

I would like to make a favorable impression upon you.

You have already.

I would like to make it stronger.

Some of earlier verses.

In everything I seek to grasp The fundamental:

The daily choice, the daily task, The sentimental.

In your early years you were much more talented than you are now.

Although I could not suppose your pen name was Boris Pasternak.

And I couldn't suppose you know poetry.

Good verses, but you read them poorly.

You judge.

I do.

Friends think I am good at it.

They flatter you. It's awful.

And what do you think about music?

In any form? No?

I hope you are not going to make a concert?

Yes, I want to sing.

How unfortunate!

Why? Friends say I have a beatiful descante-baritone.

I just guessed: are you drunk?

Not at all!

When I am drunk, I am wild!

And right now I am quiet.

I am lucky.

So, what should I sing?

It's not worth the trouble.

So you're sure I can't sing either.

I am very tired of you, Novoseltsev.

I will sing to you, and it will pass.

It's quiet in the woods, And only the badger can't sleep.

He's hung his ears up on a branch And dances around the tree.

Are you mad?

So, you don't like my singing either.

Alas, no.

You don't like anything.

It's hard to please you. But I will try anyway.

I will dance for you. A modern dance would hardly suit you.

I will try something classic. A Russian folk dance, right?

And you will sing!

No, you won't. I will sing myself.

Yuri Grigorievich! Take this rowdy away!

You don't like my reciting, my dancing, and singing...

...because you're dry-as-dust!

That's what you are! You are callous!

You have nothing human in you!

Yuri Grigorievich, let him speak.

You have no heart, because you have only reports and figures!

Let him speak!

Let me go, I haven't finished yet! You can sack me after all this...

...but I am very glad I have told you all this in your face.

Thank you for the beautiful evening.

You are welcome, Ludmila Prokofievna.

I was very glad to meet you. Thank you.

Goodbye, comrades.

Comrade Ryzhova, goodbye.

Goodbye, Ludmila Prokofievna.

Goodbye, comrade Novoseltsev. Anatoly Efremovich.

All the best! May I see you home?

I think it's not worth... the trouble.

Should I see you home, Ludmila Prokofievna?

He's not as bad, Ludmila Prokofievna.

I really enjoyed it.

He drank too much. It's my fault.

It can happen to anybody.

Don't get offended. I could not expect that.

He talked such drivel.

Why, it's very interesting to learn...

...what your subordinates think about you.

- Home! - See you tomorrow.

In trams, we are packed like sardines.

We clatter and drudge along.

And the subway swallows us daily...

...and ejects us again from its mouth.

In noisy streets, in white snowy flutter...

People, we pass by other people.

Our breaths are jumbled together.

Our traces are all mixed up.

We pull out cigarettes from our pockets.

We mumble new popular songs.

And when we elbow each other...

it's just "Sorry" or nothing at all.

Along the same streets of the city

But all on their separate ways

We go unknown to each other

Just touching each other slightly.

PERSONNEL RECORD: Anatoly E. NOVOSELTSEV

- Hail to the hellbender! - Hallo.

Can you explain, what maggot bit you yesterday?

Don't torture me, I couldn't sleep all night.

OK, just don't think about it. Go to her and apologize.

Never! I can't face her now.

After dinner comes the reckoning!

- Listen, who's that girl? - I don't remember.

All right, I'll go. I may be lucky and she will not see me today.

Good morning, Olenka. I'm very glad you came yesterday.

I've been waiting for you. To say thank you for the evening.

Yes, it was some evening all right.

- What are you plans for today? - To have a rest after yesterday.

- Good morning, Verochka. - Good morning, Yuri Grigorievich.

- Is she in? - As always.

- A Swiss souvenir. - No bribes.

What are your plans for tonight?

What company? Will there be men?

Always invite me. I am a single woman now.

Vera, please bring in the mail.

Here it is. Wait here.

You know everything about everybody.

That kind of a job.

What do you know about Novoseltsev?

He's a loser.

A bachelor with two kids.

Have you been waiting long?

OK, I'll come later.

Do you remember Liza Leontieva?

A pretty blonde...

...with a braid?

- She doesn't work here now. - No, I can't remember.

Sure. So, she was his wife. Gave birth to two kids...

...and then... went astray.

How could she leave the kids? She's a mother!

Some mother! Novoseltsev, he was their mother.

A quiet, gentle, harmless person.

Never heard a rough word from him.

Yes... harmless...

Novoseltsev, you're up against the wall.

The crone's got interested in you.

She's studying your personal file.

I am being fired.

What for?

For hooliganism.

Vera, could you find out... maybe she won't see me now?

OK. Wait here.

Novoseltsev is here.

I haven't called him.

OK, I'll tell him you're busy.

No... it will be tactless.

Tell him he may come in.

You must see her.

Must I? How is she?

Break your leg.

Good morning, Prokopia Ludmilovna...

I have come... I don't...

I have... don't know why.... Yes.

Yesterday... a maggot bit me.

I noticed that.

Or I broke loose.

Very close to the truth.

So, I got loose... like a cannon.

Sit down, comrade Novoseltsev. Anatoly Efremovich.

Better die standing.

Sit down, don't be afraid.

Thank you.

Please be my guest.

Yesterday you... Sit!..

...took the liberty of saying...

...I have nothing human in me.

You should not pay any attention to what I was babbling yesterday.

Yes, I should! Why not? You express the opinion...

... of a certain part of our staff.

Do I?

Yesterday you slandered me in public.

Insulted me.

I did...

- Everything you said is a rank lie! - A rank... lie.

- I totally disagree with you. - And me... totally...

- Why do you weasel all the time? - I don't weasel.

What kind of man are you? I can't get the hang of you.

Don't hang me... Why?

- You said I am callous! - No, you're tender.

- Inhuman! - Human...

- Heartless! - Heartful.

- Dry! - Wet.

I am sorry, Ludmila Prokofievna...

Stop... mocking me!

God forbid... It's not my intent... I just... I don't....

I can't understand why this word... 'wet'... I...

I was going to say... 'sweet', Ludmila Prokofievna.

I can't see why you hate me so much, in what way have I offended you?

I didn't do you out of your job.

No, you didn't.

- You were not laid off from your job. - Not just yet.

You have been getting your bonuses...

I have... I... Ludmila Prokofievna...

I criticized your report, but then, pardon me, I have the right to do it.

- I'm the director, as yet. - We adore you...

We love you... Deep in our hearts. Somewhere very, very deep.

- So deep I can't see it. - No, you can. You should.

What is that nonsence you're talking?

You're so democratic. Yes, democratic.

Lying again! Stop that now!

You can't even imagine... When you summon us to your office...

- It's like a holiday! - It's horrible!

What are you doing? Are you crying?

Stop crying! You can't do that, you're a director.

It's not for you to decide, what I can do as a director.

I have superiors to make such decisions.

Here, drink... water... in a bottle.

- May I... - Yura, wait outside... Get out.

- What's happening? - We have a meeting!

- What's going on? - She's firing him. For hooliganism.

Ludmila Prokofievna, I have to talk to you.

- Later. Let us have our meeting. - Stop ordering people around...

I am still the director here, still the host... the hostess...

I'm afraid he's off his crust again. What a rouser!

Stop blubbering, damn it!

I'm not a nanny to look after you, am I?

I am not some garbage... either.

OK, go on crying. It's good for you.

If you are able to cry, not everything may have been lost.

Don't bother, I'll answer. Hallo!

Hallo! No, she's busy. What minister?

Minister?

- She doesn't care for a minister. - Give me the phone!

What have you done? How can you talk to the management in such a way?

- Even I never presume to do that. - Have some water, calm down.

Go on hiccuping.

Is it that everybody thinks that I am a horrible monster...?

Don't exaggerate. Not everybody. Not that horrible.

Jesus, that's impossible.

Go away! I don't want to see you, nor listen to you.

Is Novoseltsev still there?

Just think of that: they locked the door!

Maybe we should break in?

Are you nuts?

I assure you, I meant no offence.

It's just that you started crying as if you were normal. I was shocked.

I am so tired of you!

On my honour, you know... I... I'm just tongue-tied... by nature.

Thinking is normal, typically, but when I try to express it... I don't.

- All right, what did the minister say? - Damn if I know.

I think he didn't understand me. I am not used to talking to ministers.

Maybe he's calling me... How can I see him now?

My eyes will be red all day. And my nose too.

Only if you rub them. If you wait till they're dry, nobody'll notice.

I haven't cried for so long.

Sometimes I'd just like to cry, but what's the use of crying alone?

It's like a drunkard who cries... that is, drinks... alone.

Next time you'd like to cry call me to your office...

...we'll cry together.

Could you pour down some water?

You're lucky, you've got your kids.

Yes, two. A boy and... a boy.

And I am all alone.

I get up in the morning, I make coffee.

Not because I want it, just because I have to.

I force myself to eat and go to work.

This office, it's my home, actually. And the evenings!..

If you only knew how afraid I am of the evenings!

I stay late, till the guards start locking the doors...

I pretend I have a lot to do... actually, I just have nowhere to go.

Home... home, home, home! Only TV waits for me.

You see, I can't even buy a dog because there's nobody to walk it.

That's how it is.

Sure, I've got friends, but they all have families, kids, homes of their own.

And I've made myself an old woman. When I am only 36.

Why... 36?

Yes, I'm younger than you, Anatoliy Efremovich.

And how old do I look like?

Well, thirty... Five.

You're lying again, comrade Novoseltsev.

It's just that the clothes you wear are too dark. Lustreless.

I never noticed that.

50 kopecks and sign here. It's an anniversary. Borovskiy's fifty.

So it's one copeck a year. Pretty inexpensive. Sign here.

Anniversaries are out of fashion.

When you're 50, we'll make a collection too.

I will not live to see it. My job is too hazardous.

All right, Anatoly Efremovich, go to your workplace.

I have a lot to do, really.

And then, I've got to find out what the minister wanted.

Don't get angry. Don't curse me.

You neither.

Don't blame me for being so... cri-de-coeurish.

How was that, Tolya?

Novoseltsev! 50 kopecks!

Well, has the old crone fired you?

She's not an old crone.

Why so long, Tolya?

I'll work a bit more.

- Bye. - Bye.

Yura! Can I have a word with you?

Hallo, Olenka.

Can we meet tomorrow evening?

I can't. Tomorrow we are going to see our relatives.

And the day after tomorrow?

My friend is having a birthday party.

And two days after tomorrow there's a game on TV, isn't there?

It's hard to get out during weekends...

But you understand...

OK, go. You've got to have a rest from yesterday.

See you tomorrow.

May I, Ludmila Prokofievna?

Vera! Call the brightest mind...

...of our mutual times.

What do you mean, who? Novoseltsev!

Please come in, comrade Novoseltsev, have a seat.

Dear Anatoly Efremovich!

I would like to give you your due.

As they say, to each according to his gifts, isn't it?

Strange as it may be, an idea has come to our management, that is, to myself.

To appoint you, one of the leaders of Soviet statistics...

...you can't deny it, ha-ha-ha...

...the Head of the Light Industry Department.

The Lightest Industry Department.

What would be your answer, Anatoly Efremovich?

Negative, Prokofia Ludmilovna.

I am inert, inefficient, and clumsy.

I am also shy, Ludmila Prokofievna.

I will screw up the operations of the Light... Lightest Industry Dept.

Come in.

Thank you.

Don't be so shy, comrade Novoseltsev.

Thank you, Ludmila Prokofievna.

Have a seat.

Yes sir!

My name is Anatoly Efremovich.

I will try to remember that, comrade Novoseltsev.

Is such a trifle worthy of remembering it, comrade Ludmila Prokofievna?

It is, Novoseltsev, the more so because I think that you're a most industrious...

Ho-ho...

No ho-hos, an industrious... worker!

Well, Ludmila Prokofievna, you will spoil me by saying that.

Everybody left, and you're still here... like a fool.

I'm still here, as you have noted rightly, like a fool...

...because you criticized my report. And you were right criticizing it.

It does credit to you... Your Modesty.

My modesty is nothing compared with your inifinite insight, dearest Ludmila Prokofievna.

I am sorry.

Fine...

Excuse me...

Why? It's interesting.

And this chair fits you.

I am really sorry. Take it back.

Why? You're comfortable there.

No, let us switch... vice versa.

But why do you think I am a bad worker?

Why didn't you go home with the rest of your colleagues?

Where has this zeal come from?

You said this: my report is bad.

So you came to my office, right? A strange idea...

I thought you would help me... me... to correct it.

Lying again.

You've stayed after hours because you took pity on me.

In the morning, I was as week as to burst into tears and talked too much.

And you... you believed me.

But I am fine. Absolutely fine.

It can't be better.

And it has nothing to do with my personal life.

As if you had nothing but personal life. There are many other things.

I manage a big organization. I love my work. I am respected by many.

And feared by some.

By the way, I have just seen the minister. He praised me.

So I need neither your compassion, nor your protection.

I thought I saw real you in the morning.

But it was a mistake. You are real now.

All right, go home. Fast. The kids are waiting for you.

Go, will you?

Nobody cares, and I'm racking my brains about a present to Borovskikh.

I've found a bronze horse in an antique shop.

Please let Novoseltsev help me tomorrow, I will not cope with it.

There's no such thing as bad weather.

Each weather is Nature's grace.

Rain or snow, each season...

...should be accepted with gratitude.

Traces of rough weather in your soul...

A seal of solitude on your heart...

And grievous crops of insomnia...

...shold be accepted with gratitude.

Death of desires, years and misfortunes...

The burden is heavier with each day.

What nature has destined for you...

...should be accepted with gratitude.

Changing years, sunrises and sunsets...

And the grace of final love...

And the date of your departure...

...should be accepted with gratitude.

There's no such thing as bad weather.

You can't stop the passage of time.

The autumn of life, as the autumn of a year...

Should be blessed without feeling sad.

Should be blessed without feeling sad.

Hallo, Verochka, may I?

Yes, do come in.

Could you give this letter to Yuri Grigorievich?

OK.

As "Private and confidential".

Verochka, this is very urgent.

OK.

And don't forget it, please.

OK. It's my responsibility, after all.

And don't register it.

OK, I won't... register it.

Yura! Good morning!

Hallo, darling.

Good morning, Verochka!

- Morning. - Is she in?

- As usual. You've got mail. - Oh, a letter... thank you.

Vera, please come to my office.

I am here, Ludmila Prokofievna.

I'd like to talk with you, Vera.

About what?

- Do sit down, please... - I am all attention.

I need your... consultation.

Would you like to gather data about somebody else?

Well... Not exactly...

To be brief... What do people wear now?

- What do you mean? - I mean clothes.

Why do you need this? Oh, I'm sorry, Ludmila Prokofievna!

It's OK. A relative has come to see me.

She lives in a small town and... is interested.

I see. I see.

Let's start with the shoes. Shoes make a woman a woman.

Is it so?

Shoeses now should be high-heeled, and with a lappet.

What is "shoeses"?.. I don't know that.

It's from English "shoes". Meaning footwear, in English.

I got it now...

As for boots, they should be high-heeled and pleated.

Wait a minute, I have to write it down. Not so fast.

OK, OK....

I'll make notes.

What should be pleated? The heel?

The top.

Ah, yes...

Does your relative have beautiful legs? Slender?

Legs... Just legs... Let's assume they are standard.

OK, I see. So, bad legs should be hidden.

Where?

Under a maxi!

Oh, you're a one, Zhora!

- What does that mean? - Inventory check.

4322. Chair. 1315. Business souvenir.

- What's the matter, comrades?

3892. Table lamp.

- 113. Chair. - Look, how good this lamp is.

- Comrades, wait a second... - Conference table, 4308.

How dare you burst in?

We are fulfilling your order, comrade director.

You are brain workers.

And so we are.

4264. Calculating machine.

Careful, please!

- Let's go to the conference room. - Absolutely no tact.

- Vase, 1348.

- Let's go. - Locusts! Highjackers!

1319. An ink set. 5869. "Moser" vase.

1314. Business gift: an airplane.

4319. Chair.

Zhora, what can this be?

- A rude word is written on it. - Delete.

Another important factor is combinatorics.

Meaning... matching things.

A sweater on top. A slimline shirt.

Right now, they're up in the mall... a blazer, maybe...

- What's a blazer? - A blazer is a club jacket.

- For a House of Culture? - ...For it, too.

A blazer, a shirt, but that's not the main thing.

For example, wigs are not in fashion now, then...

Thank Heaven. It is much better without them, lively, isn't it?

A wig is... like a house on your head.

Well, if you want it lively, then yes.

What do we have if there are no wigs? We have the face.

Now, eyebrows are of collossal importance.

Since we are having this discussion, I am sorry...

...but let's take your brows.

What about my brows?

They are just indecent. If your brows are so thick...

...you have to do something about them.

And what can be done about them?

You have to pluck them. Thin out.

With what?

For example, with a drawing pen.

A drawing pen? But that will hurt!

And what of it? You're a woman, have patience.

An eyebrow should be thin as a thread...

...and raised in amazement.

Like yours?

Well, I'm not perfect either.

But that plucking... ...you'll need a lot of pain-killers.

That is still not the main thing.

What is the difference between a business woman and a... Woman?

What?

The walk!

Here. How do you walk?

How?

It's just unbelievable!

You would clot up, knot down, curdle and turdle...

...like and old torn shoe, and off she is, whooshing to work...

...as if she drives piles home! Now, how do we walk?

My God, is this how I walk?

A woman should be a mystery.

The head is up, slightly.

The eyes are down, a bit.

Here, everything is relaxed.

Shoulders are drawn backwards.

The gait is free and starts from the hip.

It's a loose relaxed posture of a panther ready to attack.

Men can't miss such a woman.

Can one learn to walk like this or is this... unachievable?

Even a hare can be taught to smoke.

In principle, nothing is impossible...

You think so?

...for people... having brains. Get up.

Adjust your clothes.

I'm afraid I won't cope with that science.

It's nothing, you'll manage.

Don't be nervous. Head, forward.

Breast, forward.

Breast? You flatter me, Vera!

Everybody flatters you. Pull it up at the back.

Pull in the belly from the front.

How? Either here... or... or there...

Do as you are told: everything in.

Everything in?

And advance freely. Walk from the hip, relaxed! Go!

Ludmila Prokofievna, where have you picked up this vulgarity?

You wiggle your hips like... like a harlot.

- A beauty, isn't it? - Nice horse.

This is no horse, it's some mammoth. Can we come already?

- Who is it for? - Borovskikh. He is 50.

Just don't say a word to him. Where did you get the goose?

None there any more.

You're a woman, and not a Marine sergeant.

I've forgotten how it is.

Add flavour, and make your smile playful!

Let men think you're absolutely OK.

Breathe. Be elegant.

Stop kicking out.

You are not a horse, you're a woman.

And now alone! Get up and go!

Cheer up! Where are you going?

Allow us put this horse away, behind the stage, in the closet.

Why... are you hiding it?

Why? For the birthday boy not to see it.

So that he wouldn't be pleased before his time.

All right, let's hide it. Where can we hide it?

In the closet, behind the stage!

Yes... will it fit in?

We'll make it fit!

Shura, you're urgently needed at the local committee!

Local committee! Novoseltsev, hide the horse! Coming!

- You don't need me now, do you? - No, Verochka, thank you.

- Come later, I'll sign everything. - We'll sign, we'll talk, you're welcome!

What's that you've been doing here?

Get the horse down.

It's not heavy, I am strong.

How was your evening yesterday?

Didn't you fall ill?

Why should I have fallen ill?

Do I look sick? I had a nice time yesterday... in the evening.

A friend picked me up... he's got a Volga car.

You say.

Where has he got the money?

Money is no problem for him. He is a major aircraft designer.

We went to a restaurant.

Which restaurant?

Get the horse down, it's too heavy. Have you frozen to it?

I am addicted to it.

Which restaurant? We went to Aragvi.

We had dinner there. A feast. Georgian quisine. Satsivi...

Sha... shashliks... Georgian pies: chebureki.

Chebureki?

And what did you drink?

Drink? Khvanchkara, Borzhomi water...

But you do not drink.

Why? I do. And how!

I never refuse good wine, especially in good company.

Have you stuck to the horse? Get it down. You'll burst.

I won't. It's a small horse. It's a pony.

And what happened after the dinner?

You go too far, comrade Novoseltsev!

Put the horse down, you look like a family reunion.

I love animals.

And how was your... evening?

It was quiet. I took a trolley bus home...

...helped the older son with his lessons...

...played with the younger one.

And then my wife announced dinner.

She's Lisa, right? Let me help you.

A blonde, with a braid?

Yes, a blonde, with a braid.

- Is this your previous wife? - No, consequent one.

You've got no wife, and I know that. Why are you lying all the time?

I follow your example.

I know that you've got no aircraft designer.

Why is this familiarity?

Who gave you the right to talk this way to your director?

Why have you thrown the horse?

Why are you lying down... with it?

We are not lying down. We have fallen.

Have you fallen down?

Yes, from the horse.

Stop shamming!

We... we feel bad.

You're pretending!

No, I am not.

Kindly get up and away, together with the horse.

It'll hurt us to get up. We've got a bump here.

A bump?

Put something cold on it.

We've got a labour accident.

You've got no bump.

It will rise.

If you say so, than you need... something cold.

Why are you treating me yourself?

Assign this task to your secretary.

When will you stop seeing me only as your director?

Can you imagine that? Bublikov died.

How is it, died? I have not ordered... Why... died?

What for?

I have not found it out yet.

A collection for the funeral wreath.

How much?

50 kopecks. For the wreath and the orchestra.

Another death or birth today, and I'll have no lunch.

Sign here!

Wait a minute, I'm your director still!

Yes, according to seniority...

Novoseltsev! Put the horse in the closet!

Nice time to be having rest!

We didn't make it to the closet.

So how are you? Do you feel... better... there?

There... No.

What have you got there? A bump?

No. No bump. You're all right. Get up. Should I help you?

Get up, at last! Get up and get down... to your work.

My horse and I are sorry that we... you...

Are you all right, Anatoly Efremovich? How do you feel?

To tell you the truth, not bad, compared with Bublikov.

And get along with you... then.

- Hi. - Hallo.

You've become a regular here. Implementing my plan?

No, my horse and I were engaged in social activities. Falling down.

Yura, haven't you discussed my appointment yet?

See, I have had no opportunity yet... I will talk to her, by all means.

Please don't. Let it stay as it is. I don't want this position.

You're strange, aren't you?

Verochka, if Ludmila Prokofievna asks, I am at the ministry.

OK.

Keep hold of your chair, not to fall down.

Ryzhova, she sits next to you...

A dyed blonde, always running around with bags.

Turn your head back! There she is... in ugly roses.

She passed me a letter for Samokhvalov. I saw it by chance.

Sure, you can't read other people's letters.

But I started to read and couldn't stop. Listen.

Dear Yura! I hesitated long before I wrote this... bla-bla...

Women nearing forty often make silly things.

She knows better, I'm sure...

I understand that you don't need all this...

I know... when I saw you I understood...

...that I may have loved only you all these years.

Here we are.

The pension's on the horizon, what does she think about!?

It's a sexual revolution!

Have you ever heard anything like that?

She must have gone crazy...

I beg you, don't tell anything to anybody.

How much are these carnations?

Bunches for 2.50 and 4.50.

2.50... No, 4.50! Thank you. Keep the change.

What do you mean? Take the change, please!

My heart is sad - I dare not tell.

My heart is sad for Somebody.

I could wake a winter night...

...for the sake of Somebody.

There's no one with me...

I've got to find Somebody.

I could range the world around...

...for the sake of Somebody.

I could range around the world.

You Powers that smile on virtuous love, O sweetly smile on Somebody!

From any danger keep him free, And send me safe my Somebody!

There's no one with me,..

I am sad without a reason.

I would do - what would I not?

For the sake of Somebody.

I would do - what would I not?

Let me pass!

Please, call Novoseltsev. Tell him to bring the report.

Novoseltsev, come to Ludmila Prokofievna's office with the report.

Good morning, Yura.

Olenka, you moved my heart, but you should understand.

That's how our life went.

I appreciate your feelings and your attitude.

But please, torture neither me, nor youself.

You're a clever woman, after all.

When a woman is told she's clever...

...does it mean she's a complete fool?

You're going too far. I haven't said this.

You've become so polite, Yura.

I didn't know it was a vice.

But you have no vices.

You're full only of merits.

I will dwell on this in my next letter.

Good morning. Is she in? What's happened to you?

Don't pay attention. I have it at times.

Do you?

Yes!

It's nothing, just don't pay any attention!

Come in, have a seat. Let's have a look at this.

Fine.

You see, you can work when you wish.

I love my profession, you know.

I think that there is no life without statistics.

Pure misery.

You know, it's so curious.

I come here in the morning, and there are flowers on the table.

You don't say!

Who could've brought them?

Yes...

...what?

I have no idea.

Don't you?

No. I don't know.

Interesting.

It's a mystery, then?

Yes...

I know! That's Shura.

Which Shura?

Shura is a woman... the union woman.

You see, Bublikov died...

...and then he didn't.

It happened to his namesake, in the hospital...

...and they called us. By mistake.

And the wreath was bought already.

We don't know whether he'll die again...

...but the flowers are fading.

Shura pulls them out from Bublikov.

I mean, from Bublikov's wreath...

...and makes presents to our women.

I recommended this to her.

No, it doesn't fit.

What doesn't fit?

I came to my office before hours...

...and the bunch was here already.

That Bublikov was alive became known later.

It doesn't fit.

It doesn't.

Then, my hypothesis is wrong.

I am afraid it is.

So, who could've done it? What do you think?

Why, do you suspect me of bringing this wisp in?

Why are you saying this? It's not a wisp.

It's a beautiful bunch of flowers.

And I suspect that you...

...were the one who brought it.

Only you're not brave enough to say so.

It's ridiculous.

How can you suspect me, an honest man?

Why should I bring you flowers?

Do you think one cannot bring me flowers?

One can. To you, one can.

Only, this requires some...

Some... birthday. Or... how is it? ...Women's Day!

But I'm not going to do that, no!

Why are you lying constantly?

No, I'm not lying.

I haven't brought you any flowers.

What am I, a complete nutter?

A crackpot? I'm sorry, I've got my work to do.

First you bring me flowers.

And then you come to offend me.

I haven't offended you!..

Take your wisp back!

You wouldn't allow yourself throwing a bunch...

...into the face of anyone of the staff.

Can it be that you are not indifferent towards me?

Just one word more...

...and I will throw the water bottle at you.

If you do it with the bottle, then you're really... with me...

Leave. Now!

I will.

And don't you dare come until I call you.

Until you call, no.

Do you understand?

I do.

And please come only on reception days.

I please will.

If you have a specific reason to see me...

No such reason!

...register with the secretary!

And never come without a reason!

Without a reason, never.

I will never come to you again.

That's for sure. I am sorry.

My office is not a thoroughfare.

It will never happen again. Where are those doors?

They are where they should be.

Found them. Best regards, Ludmila Prokofievna.

Lovers' talks end.

The last starling flies away.

And scarlet-heart silhouettes

Fall down from maples.

What have you done to us, autumn?

Earth freezes in red gold.

The grievous flame whistles under feet...

Moving fallen leaves around.

Dad, it's for you.

Uncle Misha? Tell him I'll call back.

It's some lady I don't know.

All right, let's find it out.

Please forgive me for my yesterday's language.

I got angry, and my behaviour was absolutely unforgivable.

It might be it wasn't you...

...who brought those ill-fated flowers in.

Yes, it was me.

Last poppies wither.

Cranes fly away.

And the nature, painfully dark...

Is not itself.

Why do you go bareheaded

along a bare and empty parkway

Full of fallen leaves

Having no pity for yourself

Life of plants went on hiding...

In these strange stumps of branches.

And what has happened to you?

What has happened to your soul?

How dare you let this beauty...

Your precious soul...

Go roving all over the world...

And perishing in a far land?

The walls of your home may be weak...

The road may go off into the dark.

There's no sadder betrayal

Than a betrayal of yourself.

Betrayal of yourself.

Good morning, Verochka.

Morning.

May I?

Please, come in.

Please play the postman again.

My pleasure. I remember. Private and confidential.

This is my proposal on improvement...

...of statistical accounting in light industry.

You know, I see your meaning.

It's very important to improve statistic accounting...

...especially in light industry.

I so understand you.

Yes. Here it is.

OK.

Thank you.

Everything will be OK.

Hallo, Yuri Grigorievich.

You'll make me enter my office through the window.

It's not good.

Morning.

Morning. You've got mail.

From Ryzhova.

Thank you.

You are welcome.

And, Verochka...

Call me Shura.

Please tell Shura Yuri Grigorievich'd like to see her.

Why should they repair my office during my work hours!?

Can't it be done at night or in the morning?

They have the same work hours as you and me.

I'll be in the meeting hall.

Your letter!

Shura, I want to discuss a rather delicate matter.

Yes?

I don't even know where to start.

I am worried about the mental state of one of our colleagues.

I think I can guess who you're talking about.

And can anyone else... guess?

The whole collective.

Our information service is very good.

Then we should really help her out of this crisis.

Lend her a helping hand.

Just read this.

Why?

Read it.

Can I read aloud?

You can.

My dear beloved Yura...

Shall I go on?

Yes.

But this is very personal.

I have nothing to hide from our collective.

See, there she is!

They are fixing windows in my office.

Then mine is ready.

Shura, please.

Not a word!

Shura? Have you got any questions?

We've got an emergency!

Emergency?

Ryzhova has fallen for Samokhvalov...

...and is flooding him with love letters!

How do you know?

See, how many of them are there!

How have you got them?

He gave it to me himself.

So that the public could step in.

Give them to me!

That's her own fault!

She could keep her feelings about herself.

If my memory doesn't fail me...

...you're on the accounting office payroll?

I think yes.

Do you remember it well?

Yes, I think...

It would be great if you sometimes, now and then...

...dealt with your job duties, and not only with public affairs.

Vera, don't let anybody in!

Can you imagine that?

Samokvalov gave me Ryzhova's letters...

Filthy beast!

...and I got exiled to the accounting office!

Still too good for you!

Here are the letters you've given to the local committee.

I would ask you not to...

I have to disappoint you.

My viewpoint doesn't match yours.

Such matters should be resolved without drawing the public in.

It's easy for you to say...

I am ashamed of you.

There is nothing between us!

You should have patience and tact.

It's cruel to make the letter known to other people.

It's a base act, don't you understand?

What a silly thing to say!

I know Olya and her husband, they're a nice couple.

Why are you always gossiping?

He's given me these letters...

...so that we could discuss them at a union meeting.

Yuri Grigorievich?

At a union meeting?

Go stick them up... the accounting office!

He's crazy! And I got him free trips for his kids!

Silly cow! Well...

May I?

I will talk to her again.

Well and kindly.

I am glad you appreciate it.

Yes, I can! Sorry...

Did I borrow 20 rubles from you?

I would like to pay you off.

Why here and now?

Right here and right now.

...70 ...80 ...90 ...20.

Please count the money.

It's all right.

No, you check it. Right, is it?

You're crazy or what?

I'm sorry, Ludmila Prokofievna...

Please, go on.

If you were not here...

You will not get away with it!

You can hit him back.

I will hit him back, but in a different way!

You have abased yourself, comrade Novoseltsev...

...so far as to start a fight in the Director's office.

Deputy Director's office.

But you right. Next time I will beat him up in your office.

Not only are you a liar, a coward, and a smartass...

...you're also a bully.

Yes, I'm a toughie.

I am afraid, I'll have to use corrective measures.

I must ask you to do that.

Please let me in.

I just ran out for the money! I stood here!

The old crone exiled me to the accounting, but I escaped.

A courageous deed.

You have my sympathy as a woman...

...but your behaviour is just immoral.

I didn't believe the gossip.

But Samokhvalov talked to me himself.

I read your messages.

How could you? You're a married woman.

You're a mother, and still writing some indecent letters.

I advise you to get all this out of your head.

Get back to the family, to the collective...

...to your work! You have to.

Why did he give you the letters?

Did he want to make laugh on me?

Nothing of the kind!

He just wanted advice on how he could help you.

I have no doubt you gave him very good advice.

My heart is sad - I dare not tell

My heart is sad for Somebody.

I could wake a winter night

For the sake of Somebody.

There's no one with me

I've got to find Somebody

I could range the world around

For the sake of Somebody.

I could range the world around.

You Powers that smile on virtuous love

O sweetly smile on Somebody

From any danger keep him free

And send me safe my Somebody!

There's no one with me

I'm sad without a reason.

I would - what would I not?

For the sake of Somebody

I would - what would I not?

Come in, it's open.

Please come in, I'll be with you in a minute.

Go to the room, have a seat, just a minute.

Please, don't be in a hurry... I'm in.

Feel yourself at home.

I do... I feel.

Why are you silent?

It doesn't look well on me?

I shouldn't've put it on.

I must look very funny.

If all this lacks taste, I can take it off.

Sure, I don't know how to wear all this...

You're a real beauty, Ludmila Prokofievna.

Do you really like it?

Very much.

I am so glad to hear it.

Please have a seat.

Thank you.

After you.

Thank you so much.

Let's eat.

Yes, let's.

Or... you here?

No... no, it's OK.

Have a seat.

Please... here... there's... all.

May I... May I pour you some wine?

Absolutely. And for you, too.

Here. Yes. Well... wine.

Good. Red or white?

Or white.

Red will also do.

It doesn't... matter.

Thank you. Now for yourself.

For myself. Stop.

Let's drink to something?

To what?

I don't know.

Neither do I. Then what?

Let's drink to everybody's health.

It's a beautiful toast!

Really? Do you like it?

I like it very much. Let's drink.

To everybody's health.

Yes, to their health.

The wine's a bit stringent, but I... Take the salad.

It's very tasty.

And here is the fish.

Oh, this is for you. Thank you very much.

Thank you...

But... you shouldn't have... But I'm glad...

It's... it's sweets.

I got it. Thank you.

Can I offer you this?

Thank you.

Yes... and the fish. Just a little bit.

I got registered for you to see me...

...next Wednesday.

What for?

Personal matter.

Why should we wait till Wednesday...

...if we can solve all personal matters now?

If you do not object...

I do not object. Right now?

Well, yes.

I just don't know how to begin.

Begin anyway. Begin with the main thing.

Right with the main thing?

Well... begin... in some way.

I have... a proposal.

For an innovation?

Yes, of a kind.

I'm listening.

Just a minute. I am very sorry.

This is for you.

A woman's voice.

No. It's a boy's voice. It's Vovka.

I had to leave them alone, so I gave them...

your... our... phone number. I am sorry.

What happened? Which paint?

What are you doing on the balcony?

Go to bed, and don't call again!

When I am back, I'll kill you both!

Don't call! Sorry...

They ran out of the paint.

What paint?

Green one.

I bought some paint to paint the balcony.

And they painted the kitchen door.

Where were we?

You were going to make some proposal?

Me?

No?

Yes.

But I don't know what you will think of it.

Please, speak out! Don't torment me.

I am starting to get nervous.

I am... so... do you see?

It's so hot. I am sweating.

Can I ask you for some water?

Here's Borzhomi and lemonade.

Lemonade will do. Will you have some?

Yes, please. Thank you very much.

Yes, many thanks.

Oh, the bubbles went up my nose...

Ludmila Prokofievna...

Go on, I beg you...

Ludmila Prokofievna.

No. Dear Ludmila Prokofievna. Right.

I have kids. Two of them. A boy and... a boy.

Two boys. It's a burden.

How can you say this about kids!?

Don't interrupt me, please.

I will get confused myself.

Who are you?

You're a great director, a gifted manager.

You're an attractive woman.

That's true, don't argue.

Who am I?

An average employee, with an average salary...

...and doubtful looks.

Ludmila Prokofievna, please don't interrupt me!

That's not true.

Yes, that's true.

I am afraid of you. That's true.

Why?

I don't know. I am all trembling inside.

How sad.

I will not be able to adorn your life.

Why do you need me? I've got two kids.

You're a lucky man.

Let's drink to you.

What have I done?

Nothing: you spoiled my new dress.

You have to pour some salt on it.

Red wine doesn't come off.

It will! Take off you dress! Now!

No, not now, not here...

But you say "take it off"?

I was out of my head...

Just stop it, please.

Stop it, I beg you. I won't wear it anyway.

Sit down, I will pour some salt on you and it will come off.

Just let it be, this dress, damn it!

If you don't shut up right now...

...I will burn it right now! Sit down!

I am so excited by your confession.

How can you say you're average?

You're so nice... and I'm not...

Why do you need me?

Please don't interrupt me. Don't say a word.

I listened to you, and didn't interrupt you.

Let me have my say.

Anatoly Efremovich... I am all in my work.

I have a well-established life...

...in a way.

I am an old bachelor.

I am used to ordering people around.

I am very quick-tempered and can spoil the life of any man.

Even a very nice one.

But that's not the matter.

The matter is I don't believe you.

Why?

Just... I don't.

I haven't had a dearer person...

...for a couple of days.

You've become very dear to me too.

I think of you more often than I should...

But it doesn't matter.

- It does. - Please, don't interrupt me.

Once I had a sad story in my life.

One man courted me.

He courted me for a long time.

And then... he married my friend.

I am not going to marry your friend.

You won't be able to.

I liquidated all of my friends.

I wiped them out.

But it doesn't mean that I'm ready...

...to rush into a marriage... with you.

Wait. I am sorry. I don't understand.

I don't understand a thing.

Do you refuse?

No! Yes!

You agree, then.

I don't know.

Yes, Vova?

Give it to me!

Here you are, Vova.

What happened?

What's that?

Something happened?

- Yes. - What?

They've thrown a cat down a rain pipe.

Oh my God! Let's go!

Let's run and save the cat!

Oh, my shy hero! You've saved your face so deftly.

I played my part so long Without any help from my partner.

I haven't used your cursed help, not a single time.

You hid behind the stage, in the shadows, unseen.

And I, in this disgraceful dream, walked forward for the cruel public...

In my lonely unlucky role, seen by everyone.

You'd guffaw, pit stalls!

You did not excuse the shameless evidence of my losses...

...And innocence of my smile.

Your herd would lap My sorrow greedily.

I stand alone, amid the shame With drooping shoulders.

The real hero is unseen to the unwary crowd.

My hero, you dread disclosure. Don't be afraid, I won't betray you.

All our roles are my role only.

I lost, and it was cruel.

All our pain is my pain only.

But it's so strong!

So strong...

Olenka, I am waiting for you.

How are you, Olenka?

Best of all.

I inform you about it each day, in writing.

You're sweet, kind, nice...

What's happened to you, Yura? You're OK?

Olenka! Olya, wait!

Don't mock me, Olya.

I read your letters as poems.

I couldn't even imagine that you write so well.

I always have them with me.

Don't worry. I will not write you again.

And give me back those letters.

Your wife can discover them and make a scene.

Please forgive me.

I can't believe that.

I started removing this ugly paint at 6 a.m.

Neither knives, nor soap, nothing can get it off.

That's our Soviet paint, nothing will cope with it.

Tomorrow my Aleksey will be back from the sanatorium.

I'm very glad.

So am I.

Give him my best regards.

You've got a very good husband.

Very good...

Come visit us on Sunday.

For sure. Thank you.

When I'm looking at you, Vera, I think...

...that if were some dasher, I would...

Olga Petrovna, good morning, You look great today.

I like your work very much.

Come to see me some time, we'll have a chat, gossip a bit.

Good morning.

Good morning.

How is the cat?

It says it feels better.

Does it really?

Yes, that's what it says.

A wonderful cat.

The best cat in the world.

I've got an idea - let's go out today? Anywhere?

A wonderful idea!

- To the theatre? - Wonderful.

I haven't been to the theatre for ages.

What shall we see?

I don't know. Does it matter?

No, it doesn't. Let's go.

Good morning, Verochka.

Is comrade Kalugina in?

My God, who is it?

It's me. What do you think?

Cool!

You have even become younger.

Am I a good pupil?

A prodigy!

Thank you, my dear.

Guess why I am late.

Have you been to the district committee?

I've overslept.

I overslept for the first time in my life.

How do you like my hairdo?

It's a killer.

I agree.

Have some coffee.

Thank you.

Vera, sometimes I am rude and rushing...

That's true.

Yes, can't be hidden. My character is terrible.

Absolutely.

Please, forgive me, if this happens.

Sure. I'm no God's gift, either.

We are both no gifts.

Shall we forgive each other?

That's to health.

It's an interesting copy of Mona Lisa.

It's not a copy, Ludmila Prokofievna.

It's our computer system.

Borovskikh wrote a program for it.

It's been here for a month.

I didn't notice... I didn't notice anything.

I don't want...

God knows I don't want to...

...but I have to go and manage the business.

Good morning, Ludmila Prokofievna.

Morning.

You look great today.

I will always look this way now.

Verochka, you always know everything.

Could you explain what's happening to her?

She has an affair with Novoseltsev.

Don't you know? Everybody knows.

An office romance!

I'll help you, Ludmila Prokofievna!

Thank you. What's up, Yuri Grigorievich?

The staff discuss only one thing.

And this is..?

Some nonsense.

I don't want to talk about it.

Please speak.

No. You will learn about it yourself.

Why? Speak up.

I would like to be informed.

Sign here, please.

I don't know how to call it.

Call it some way.

In a word, they say Novoseltsev is courting you...

It's true. And what of it?

Nothing, it's just that is somehow discredits you.

Please, here too...

My reputation is so impeccable...

...that it should've been discredited long ago.

But you don't know all the facts.

I just have to warn you.

Here, more.

Do you remember my party?

Yes. How can I forget it?

That's when Novoseltsev decided to step up to you.

In order to obtain the position of the Head of Department.

I wouldn't like to blame him, he is talented, he'll manage.

And it's so easy to understand him.

A good rise in the salary, and ambitions, too.

And I am not thinking it up to have my revenge on him.

But there are things that I could learn from him only.

How he offered you a cocktail, and you refused it.

Or how you were talking about mushrooms.

Thank you very much.

Vera, come here. Take your pad.

I have a surprise for you!

Look what I've got.

A shirt. They say, it's a Cardin. 50 rubles only.

Thank you.

Write down an order.

Appoint...

...the head of the Light Industry Department...

...with the salary according to the staff payroll.

My signature.

Who?

You haven't said, who.

Haven't I?

Novoseltsev, Anatoly Efremovich.

Verochka, you're charming today.

Sorry I am not knocking.

Please, don't let anybody in. We have a meeting.

She's not in, and she won't be in today.

For your ministers not to interfere.

Please have a seat, comrade Novoseltsev.

I have locked the door.

Please sit down.

And you. Please.

Sit down... comrade director.

I've bought two tickets.

Not to the theatre, to the circus.

Do you like circus?

It's not acceptable to sit on the table in my office.

I'm sorry. Got it.

I thought this rule didn't hold true for me any longer.

My congratulations, comrade Novoseltsev.

I've been choosing the right man for a long time.

And couldn't find... anyone better.

You're determined, energetic, inventive...

Very inventive.

I have signed the order...

...about appointing you the Head of Department.

What's that for? What have I done to you?

Do you reject the appointment?

I just wouldn't like to be appointed in such a tone.

You don't deserve any other tone.

Why? What happened while I ran for these tickets?

It happened much, much earlier.

And I do justice to your inventiveness.

What inventiveness? I didn't invent anything.

Don't be too modest.

Isn't a brilliant idea, to court me...

...in order to gain the position?

I knew it would end in tears.

Sure, I had no right to court you...

...for the purposes of my career.

But I didn't know then...

...that I would fall in love with you.

You can't even imagine, how far I was then from this.

You're a horrible man, Novoseltsev.

Me?

You.

There's is no name for what you've done.

You can't understand how ugly and evil it is.

I have mitigating circumstances.

I love you.

I do.

I don't believe you.

But do you believe Samokhvalov?

All right. Stop it. Go and work.

You have a new interesting job.

It will require much skill and effort.

You have to concentrate.

You've gained what you sought.

What about the circus?

I've had enough of circus in my life.

Maybe...

No.

It may not.

Then I reject the appointment.

The price is too high.

You're lying again.

No. I'm in no lying mood.

That's enough. Go away.

I am not interested in these... nuances.

Go to your work place.

Where's the order?

At the secretary's.

Give me the order about my appointment.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Kalugina's office.

No, I haven't forgotten your voice yet.

[You know, I understood why we split up.]

[We need a baby.]

You want us to have a baby?

[- Yes. And the sooner the better.]

I can't right now.

It's 2 hours before the day's end. I can't leave.

Why don't you say hello, Tolya?

Hello, if you wish, Yuri Grigorievich

Tolya! I would like to have no uncertainty between us.

I think that everything is clear between us.

I have to say, though it is not easy.

You're great! I started to respect you.

You hit me... deservedly.

You'll go far.

Novoseltsev has left a letter of resignation.

Have you really decided to go?

Yes, I've found another job.

Closer to my home, handsome salary, bigger scale.

Do you think I understand nothing?

You've decided to quit because of her.

Please come to Ludmila Prokofievna's office.

Did you call me?

I have reviewed your resignation letter...

...comrade Novoseltsev.

Some way to review it.

It's very simple to write a second one.

It will meet the same end.

I will write the third, the fourth, and the fifth.

I will not work underneath you. I don't want to and I will not!

You will, comrade Novoseltsev.

I won't, comrade Kalugina.

I won't let you go.

You're an irreplaceable staff member.

There are no irreplaceable people.

You will find an honest man who will not lie to you.

And you also count on finding a different boss...

...younger and prettier. Is it so?

It is, it is. The more so, since it's not a problem.

Why do you always rush into my office to offend me?

I do not rush in. You call me, you rend me off from my work.

I haven't called you!

Yes, you did.

Go and work! Who keeps you here?

You keep me here.

You do not sign my resignation. I cannot be paid off.

Write your letter. I will sign it.

With greatest pleasure.

Go on, write it. Paper does not blush.

I am writing.

It'll make me a pleasure to get rid of you.

Here, I've written it.

I hope you didn't suffer much financially?

Won't the circus tickets be lost?

I will sell them at the black-market price.

I have no doubt about your practicality.

Let's read this curious document.

What's that?

What a pity! The form is wrong.

It does not state Where? the reason. It does!

Any check will show I let go key workers with no reason.

You don't care for the lack of paper?

No, I don't. Our paper industry works fine.

Faster, please. I've a got a lot to do.

Your lot will have to wait.

- Faster, please! - I fear I can't.

- Were you a bad student? - Why, I was good.

- I knew you were a flunkey. - Don't worry my dark past. Here.

Let's have a closer look.

Do me a favour.

So, you're leaving...

I leave, you stay.

And what is the reason for your leaving?

It's explained in the letter.

You are leaving because the director...

...of your organization is a tyrant, are you?

A ty-rantress!

What a considerate, sensitive...

...hearful person you are!

Stop torturing me, after all!

You don't say! What a princess!

Yes, a princess!

What an original, amusing...

...way of flirting you have!

No doubt, you're a typical modern man.

Who gave you the right to offend me in such a way?

Look who's talking.

You think if you are a directress...

Crush people! Destroy them!?

As for you, yes!

- Beat them? - Too little for you.

Insult them!

You're a hag!

A real hag, now...

A hag? Take it, then!

Comrade Minister!

What are you doing, Ludmila Prokofievna!?

It hurts! Not with this!

I beg you, be careful.

Have mercy! You will kill me!

It's no you use trying to kill you...

Take this!

Call for Comrades' Court!

I have to defend myself. Look out, Ludmila Prokofievna!

You're trampling your own coat!

Don't fell down. And please let me be.

You'll hurt a key employee.

The country will lack specialists!

Don't hit my head, it's my weak spot!

It's your empty spot!

One, glasses. You bruised me, it's two.

My patience has run out.

What's that?

Calm down. It's a shower.

I will wipe it up. And dry it up. I will wash it!

Not with a chair! What are you doing?

Put the chair back! Vera, save the father of two kids -

Don't hit a man when he's down.

It's another weak spot!

Vera, help!

Vera, he called me a hag!

Oh, don't tickle me!

Put Vera back, and never touch her again!

You Powers that smile on virtuous love, O sweetly smile on Somebody!

From any danger keep him free, And send me safe my Somebody!

There's no one with me.

Where can I find Somebody?

I could range the world around For the sake of Somebody.

I could range the world around...

I'll kill you! I'll maim you! I hate you! Let me go!

Let me go! I hate you!

Where to?

Straight ahead!

Nine months after, the Novoseltsevs had three boys already.