Original subtitles

Ah, it is so good to be home.

Yeah, that Nazca realm was loco.

I hope I never see another line again.

Huh?

What the...

-Whoa. -Whoa.

Panchito: Somebody's been keeping busy.

Oh, great. You're back.

You'll never guess what we found.

It'll blow your mind.

Don't be mad, but while you were gone, we kinda sorta...

May: Broke into Sheldgoose Manor.

Together: Like a boss!

You what?

I know, thanks!

But after digging through his dirty laundry...

-Literally. -Ew.

We found a secret chamber.

A really secret chamber.

So secret, it doesn't even know about itself.

Where did it lead?

We don't know.

It's a secret!

That's what "secret" means.

Linguistically, she's correct.

It turns out the Sheldgoose family line

has a dark connection to every major catastrophe

in history.

Together: And it all started with him!

-Xandra: Felldrake. -Donald: Wow.

(gasps) Get out.

There's even a connection

between Donald's great-grandfather, Clinton Coot,

and the Sheldgooses.

I think it's Sheldgeese.

Pretty sure it's Sheldgeeses.

Maybe it's a Sheldgaggle.

Astonishing.

It would appear our blood lines

have been intertwined in a befuddling kerfuffle of fate.

Ah, phooey.

I'm gonna check my messages.

(beeps)

Daisy (over phone): Hi, Donald. It's Daisy.

Uh-oh.

Daisy: Well, I thought about everything that happened,

and I've decided to give you one more chance.

But this is your last, last chance.

-Don't stand me up. Bye! -(beeps)

Whoopee!

I've got a date.

You see, everything always works out.

Even if you don't do anything.

(evil laughter)

(Xandra gasps) Felldrake is in Mexico.

Unless it's another trap.

Yes. And though he has fooled us before,

he will not fool us again.

Unless he does. Then he will.

I can't go.

Daisy's coming.

Panchito: But we must.

(all gasp)

I have taken the oath of the luchador.

Oh, yeah.

(strumming triumphant music)

A true luchador must forever help those in need,

protect the unprotected, be good to their mothers.

Woman: Such a good boy.

And always eat their vegetables.

Even the gross ones.

I'm looking at you, broccoli.

He makes a persuasive argument.

Works for me.

No way!

Daisy's coming, and I'm not going.

It's fine.

You take care of Felldrake, we'll take care of Daisy.

Donald, you got your magic mirror?

Yeah.

Then, wait for our call.

But I don't wanna...

(playing triumphant music)

(theme music playing)

♪ We are Three Caballeros ♪

♪ Three brave caballeros ♪

♪ They say we are birds of a feather ♪

♪ We're happy amigos ♪

♪ No matter where he goes, the one, two, and three goes ♪

♪ We're always together ♪

Aye.

♪ The Three Caballeros ♪

...go to Mexico.

Ah, nuts.

Welcome, Caballeros, to Mexico!

(echoing) Mexico. Mexico.

(sniffs) Ah!

The sweet smell of my home country.

The magic realm is that way, at the Temple of the Sun.

Man: Beware, amigos.

(all gasp)

The Temple of the Sun has but two exits,

life or death.

The contest of fates will decide.

Okay, thanks, muchacho.

We'll take it from here.

Then, good luck.

We'll be watching.

(evil laughter)

Hmm, don't like that.

There's nothing here!

The atlas says "The journey ahead be only half done.

To fare any further, you must shine as the sun."

Say what?

While I love a good limerick, I do not get this one.

Wait a minute.

Donald, give me the mirror.

No, I need it for Daisy.

It will only take a second.

-No! -Come on. Give...

Donald, come on.

No.

Huh?

All: Whoa.

Panchito: Cool.

Aw, more steps?

Come on, guys.

Those stairs won't climb themselves.

(panting)

-Whoa! -Huh?

-Whoa! -(grunting)

Ah, Mexico, I fall for you every time.

All: Huh?

(clucking)

Brace yourselves, Caballeros.

(grunting)

Behold.

A messenger from the god of life has come!

(cheering)

(chanting) Life, life, life, life!

"Messenger"?

"God of life"?

Life, life, life!

Sorry, I just got caught up.

(all cluck)

Why do you think Panchito is this messenger?

His arrival was foretold.

All: Huh?

Ancient carvings don't lie.

(cheering)

(clucking)

(screaming)

We welcome you to the Valley of the 13 Heavens.

Thank you, Your Highness?

Oh, no. (chuckles)

I am merely a priestess,

while you represent the god of life

and shall be treated as such.

Hit it, boys!

(peppy music playing)

Cannonball!

(gasps)

(sighs)

(exhales)

Hey!

Ah, come on!

I'm hungry.

Ahh, I'd worship me.

Whoa!

Hey, everybody, look at my cool seat.

(cheering)

This may not be the best table in the house,

but I have had worse.

(toilet flushing)

Ugh!

Um, hello?

Could we at least get some water?

Server: I'll get to you.

Messenger of the god of life,

we honor you with the ceremonial dance of the lights.

(fast-paced drumming)

Here's your slop.

And there's a fly in my soup.

(buzzing)

Now there is soup in your fly.

(buzzing)

(burps)

And at least you got soup.

My food is made entirely of angry insects.

Donald, what did you get?

I miss Daisy.

(mirror chimes)

Hello?

Donald, Daisy will be here any minute.

You won't believe this plan.

No, really, you won't believe this plan.

I've gotta get this!

Argh. I don't like any of this.

Where is Felldrake?

Why is Panchito the messenger of a god?

-It doesn't make any sense. -I agree.

We must get to the bottom of this immediately.

Hola. (chuckles)

Care to dance?

Hold that thought, Xandra.

My rug-cutting skills

are suddenly required on the dance floor.

Huh?

(humming)

Mmm.

Uh, Panchito?

Hey, Xandra, are you enjoying the party?

No. Don't you think this is all a little suspicious?

Ah-ah-ah. No thinking.

It taxes the messenger's brain.

Now, let us lose ourselves in dance.

Baila!

-(peppy music playing) -Hey, that's my song.

Am I the only one not seduced by all this?

Pardon me, senorita.

I couldn't help but notice

you are without a partner.

Huh?

For the dance floor.

Uh... Whoa!

(chuckles) Wow, gosh.

Dance?

I'd love to.

Both: Weird.

April: Donald, just talk into the mirror

like everything's normal.

Aunt Daisy won't notice a thing.

Unless she has eyes or a brain.

Thanks, girls.

Don't thank us yet.

(doorbell dings)

Here we go.

Hi, May. Where's Donald?

Donald is standing right over there, completely normal.

(quacks)

Hiya, toots.

(April and June whispering)

Donald, w-why is it so dark in here?

Not dark.

It's romantic.

June: Ke-ke-keep it steady.

Daisies for a daisy.

Oh, you know, I never made that connection before.

Thank you.

Ugh, I can't believe this is working.

I can't believe this is working.

Pay close attention.

The thumb is quicker than the eye.

Hmm? Oh.

(laughs) Ta-da!

Ooh. (giggles)

And who is this autograph for?

-Chica. -"To Chica."

And who is this autograph for?

-Chica. -Okay, Chica.

And who is this autograph for?

-Chica. -Panchito: Okay, another Chica.

And then, boom, I am face to face to face to face

with a seven-headed hydra.

Then what did you do?

I punched him in the stomach.

(laughing)

Xandra, you're as clever as you are beautiful.

And you're very clever.

(laughs) Oh...

(snorts) Oh, you. (chuckles)

It's a shame this has to end.

End?

-(triumphant music playing) -Ugh, what now?

Now that our spirits are high let us proceed to the ceremony!

Ceremony? What is she talking about? Huh?

I thought this was the ceremony.

Messenger of life, the time has come for you to do battle

with the messenger of death!

(both gasp)

Surprise!

Both: Huh?

Uh...

Daisy's in the bathroom.

What did I miss?

Official messenger of life merchandise.

Get your keychains, your bobbleheads,

your unauthorized autobiographies.

Bienvenidos, amigos.

(speaking Spanish)

The arena of champions!

And now it's time to battle!

The gods of life and death have chosen their messengers,

who have been preparing all day to fight it out

in an eternally awesome championship showdown!

(cheering)

In this corner, standing at three feet eight inches

and weighing in at 34.6 pounds,

the messenger of life, El Gallo Loco!

Yahoo!

(audience gasp)

I'm okay. Vamos.

Ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh.

Uh-huh. Unh! Unh!

Yeah!

And in this corner, standing at five feet, four inches,

weighing in at a whopping 210 pounds,

the messenger of death, Gonzo Gordo!

(muttering)

Way to make an entrance, moron.

The rules are simple, one on one,

no holds barred, three rounds.

But remember the most important rule,

have fun, you guys.

Okay, Senor Loco, are you ready, my friend?

A luchador is always ready for everything.

Well, idiot, I don't see how you have a chance.

That's my pep talk. Go get him.

I wasn't the intramural wrestling champ

at Sheldgoose Prep

three years in a row for nothing.

-(clucks) -(dings)

-(audience cheering) -Ya-woo-hoo-hoo!

(grunting)

(laughs menacingly)

(grunts)

Ooh, ooh, ooh. (laughs)

(grunts)

(laughing)

This is still suspicious.

Why would Sheldgoose lead us here

just to put on a wrestling show?

Quiet! I'm on the mirror.

May I offer you some tea?

Yes, please.

June: Come on, what are you doing?

April: Ugh, I can't see.

Are you all right, Donald?

Never better.

I hated that teapot.

(vacuum cleaner whirring)

(Ari coughs)

Ya-woo-hoo.

-(groans) -(whooping)

Gallo Loco is numero uno!

Such humble beginnings.

Turn the page, Leopold.

(grunting)

I've got some questions for you, Mr. Wonderful.

Keep an eye on our luchador.

It appears to be going well.

Do you not agree, Donald?

You look so cute in that outfit.

Really? This old thing?

But I wear it all the time.

Shh. Quiet!

(grunting)

All right, handsome,

I think you know more than you're letting on.

So spill it!

Xandra, calm yourself, please.

Sit and all shall be revealed.

(grumbling)

-Xandra. -Hello.

To begin with, the battle between life and death

is an ancient tradition, a symbolic tradition.

Ya-woo-hoo!

(whimpers)

(yells)

(groans)

(grunts)

(all exclaim)

(screaming)

-(cheering) -(laughing)

(gags)

Now I've got you

in the first legitimate wrestling hold of this match.

Lighten up, goosie.

This is supposed to be fun.

(clucks)

Whoa-oa! (grunts)

(clucking)

-(clucks) -(dings)

That's round one.

Grab a snack and come right back.

(panting)

-How'd I do? -Terrible!

That outfit was a mistake.

No, I mean my technique.

Even worse.

Leopold?

(grumbling)

You are doing fantastico, Gallo.

That was definitely one of your top four wedgies.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

I've got a bucketful of wedgies, and I'm ready to spend them.

Donald, can you hand me that towel?

Quiet!

Oh, Daisy, tonight, I'm all yours.

-(humming) -(off-key music playing)

(scatting)

You're so light on your feet.

Thank you, Donald.

Ow!

You're so heavy on mine.

Sorry, toots.

Uh, I've got two left feet.

And two right ones.

Gah!

(grunts)

(bell dings)

Hop, hop, hop.

Panchito: Woo-hoo.

Come on, man, wrestling is supposed to be fun.

Don't take it so serious.

I am serious, deadly serious.

So because the gods of life and death are immortal,

they choose mortals to fight for them.

This way, there can be a victor, because one of them will die.

(chuckles nervously) You mean die symbolically, right?

Oh, no.

I mean die, die.

Like dead, dead.

Forever dead.

Dead!

Uh-oh.

(grunts)

Panchito, it's a fight to the death!

To the death?

To the death!

(chanting) To the death, to the death, to the death!

Hey, come on!

And can you believe Minnie did that?

Well, I told her he was trouble, but she was so sure...

Oh, will you shut up?

-Uh-oh. -Oh!

Wait a minute.

-Uh... -(gasps)

(quacks)

-April? -(chuckles nervously)

Hi.

Mm, Donald Duck, what is going on here?

Uh, I love you?

What kind of sick joke is this?

Using my nieces for one of your weird schemes?

It was their idea.

Panchito, this is serious.

Whoever loses the match loses his life!

Well, maybe Sheldgoose doesn't want me dead.

(snickers)

(gulps)

The situation is unambiguous.

You must win.

But I cannot be responsible for somebody getting dead.

It's against the luchador oath.

Wait a minute.

This is the final round.

Perhaps if we run out the clock, it will be declared a draw.

No winner or loser.

There's nothing in the luchador oath about that.

Let's do it.

What are you waiting for?

Just finish him already.

He's-he's too fast.

He keeps slipping out of my legal holds.

Then stop playing legally, dummy!

It goes against all my prep school training, but fine.

Sorry, Coach Sheldgoose.

-(clucks) -(dings)

Yeah!

(grunting)

(shouting)

Okay, Shelby, we're gonna sit tight

until the clock runs out.

Oh, no, we're not!

Leopold, give mommy to daddy!

Mommy?

What? I'm not mommy.

You're mommy!

Whee!

(laughs)

Hey, no fair!

Daisy, I can explain.

Explain this.

(steady beeping)

(angry mumbling)

(screams)

You hurt Daddy!

I'm daddy!

Back off, Leo.

(cheering)

(grunting)

Ya-woo-hoo-hoo!

Ha-ha!

(grunts) Whoo!

(screaming)

Ow!

-(screaming) -(grunting)

(blows a raspberry)

(screaming)

Ha! (grunting)

(yelling)

(grunts)

-(bell dings) -(clucks)

(all grunt)

Man: Enough!

(panting)

What do you want?

A fair fight for once.

(audience gasp)

(evil laughter)

Death!

(screaming)

(shouting)

Allow me to formally introduce myself.

God of death, at your service.

Ha! I knew you were too good to be true.

That is what they say.

And now, you, you brought a foreign object into the ring.

You are disqualified.

What? Balderdash.

You received help from outside the ring!

You are disqualified.

So it's a draw and we all get to go home?

No, you all broke the rules.

You all lose!

And the penalty is...

death!

(groaning in fear)

(yelling)

Where did everyone go?

To the underworld, of course.

I'm the god of death, remember?

Then, why am I still here?

Silly Xandra.

There is no room for immortals in the afterlife.

You monster!

(grunts) Whoa.

I wish it could be different, but it wasn't in the cards.

(whistling)

(horn honking)

(tires screech)

You won again, Life, fair and square.

Booyah!

Life rules.

Farewell, beautiful Xandra.

Until we meet again.

(tires screech)

Whoa!

Huh?

Life stinks.

(theme music playing)