Original subtitles

(shouting)

(shouting continues)

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!

Yes, Sheldgoose. We get it.

You have a body, so you can feel pain.

(gasps) Lord Felldrake, look.

Hey!

What in Hades is this?

We're, like, totally hot lava lizards.

And we're trying to get... out of this volcano.

So our great queen can destroy the Earth with...

with the totally hot la...

ah... ah... ah... ah...

ah... ah... ah... ah... ah...

va.

So what's stopping you from releasing your queen?

Duh, these not hot stone Moai were put here

to keep us from getting out.

They're always, like, stomping us.

See?

I do see.

Lava lizards, if I can dispense with these Moai

and their well-defined calves,

do you vow to wreak fiery destruction over the world?

-If you can do that... -The only thing we won't break...

-Is our promise... -To break...

All: Everything.

(evil laughter)

(imitating laughter)

(evil laughter)

(coughing, wheezing)

Stooge.

(theme song playing)

♪ We're three caballeros ♪

♪ Three brave caballeros ♪

♪ They say we are birds of a feather ♪

♪ We're happy amigos ♪

♪ No matter where he goes, the one, two, and three goes ♪

♪ We're always together ♪

♪ Aye! ♪

♪ The Three Caballer-os! ♪

♪ ♪

(horse neighs)

-(laughing) -Whoa! Wee!

Thanks for the ride, Apollo!

No, thank you, Three Caballeros,

for saving the world tree.

-(beeping) -Holy solar flares!

I'm late for sunset! Tally-ho!

(yawns)

Daylight savings, am I right?

All: We're home!

Welcome back.

We thought you were goners.

Guess we won't need these.

(imitates Beethoven's "5th Symphony in C Minor")

(humming melody)

I'm so proud of you, Caballeros.

You showed those Roman Gods what a real team is made of.

What a team!

You are like my brothers from a different mother,

and a different father, from a different country,

that I recently just met.

Caballeros?

More like "Caballer-bros."

Stage dive!

Nothing can break us apart now.

Yah-woo!

(doorbell rings)

Daisy?

What a surprise!

April, May, and June told me how well you're doing,

so I wanted you to see how much you've changed.

I have changed, Daisy.

I'm a new Donald.

I'm Donald 2.0.

Together: Donald 2.0?

Well, is Donald 2.0 going to introduce me

to his new friends?

Oh, yeah.

This is Jose.

Ah! It is so very wonderful to meet such a sweet, ripe

flower of a lady.

Oh, thank you?

This is Panchito.

Whoa, you've got the handshake of a professional wrestler.

Your friends seem nice, and, uh... weird.

They're not just my friends.

-We're the Three... -Roommates!

The Three Roommates.

Oh, who's this?

That's Cassandra.

She lives in a book.

"Lives in a book"?

Oh! You mean she reads a lot.

Others: Phew.

Uh, hey, why don't we go out,

so you can meet the new me?

Okay, where are we going?

How about the Greasy Pan?

The Greasy Pan?

All right, the Rusty Skillet.

Eww! The Rusty Skillet?

The Burnt Onion?

Ooh, I love the Burnt Onion!

Did not the health department give them a D?

Yeah, for de-licious!

But Donald, you said you'd wine and dine

Daisy at Chez Quackmore.

Chez Quackmore?!

The most expensive restaurant in the New Quackmore Institute.

Expensive?!

Conveniently located within romantic strolling distance.

Expensive?

Oh, that's so 2.0!

It is?

Well then, Chez Quackmore, here we come!

Have a wonderful time, you two!

But you can't tell her about the Three Caballeros!

But I want to impress Daisy.

If she knows, she'll be exposed

to the same dangers you face.

You don't want that, do you?

No.

What are you two whispering about?

Nothing!

Let's go.

Well, this a fine predicament.

Just as we master working as a team,

Donald puts the "I" back into it.

Look, guys, if this works out, we may never have to hear

Donald whine about Daisy again.

He's always...

(imitating Donald Duck) Oh, Daisy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So true, and your Donald impression is spot on!

It's like you ate Donald and he's talking from your stomach!

Aww, thanks, guys!

♪ ♪

(panting So...

how do we stop the Moai?

We destroy them, you simpleton!

Or more accurately, I do.

There, that big one looks like the head honcho.

Lord Felldrake: Point me in his direction, and I'll do the rest.

That is, if you can manage.

(energy surges)

(fizzles)

Well, that didn't work.

Bah, that's not the only trick up my sleeve.

(energy surging)

(bonk)

Still nothing.

Quiet, you!

I have other tools in my shed.

(energy surging)

(head spinning, pops)

Okay, I'm out of ideas.

Actually, I have a plan.

If you're willing to try my way.

Let me guess.

You want to annoy them to death with your tedious questions.

Hah! Good one, me!

(laughing)

Fine, we'll do it your way!

But you'd better hope the Caballeros don't show up.

♪ ♪

I got onesies!

I got twosies.

Threesies, Donald?

(sighs)

We cannot play threesies without Donald.

Oh, come on, guys.

We can have fun without Donald.

-Yeah! -Of course we can!

That's the spirit!

Why do we not try something intellectually stimulating?

Yeah, like TV.

Narrator on TV: The Roman tuber is the eighth most popular starch

in Italy's lower peninsula.

(all sigh)

Whoo-hoo!

So what do you think Donald's doing right now?

Daisy: So you're unemployed and living in a rundown cabana

with three weird guys and a tall bookworm,

but you hired my nieces to cook and clean for you?

Well, when you put it that way...

So what exactly have you been doing with yourself, Donald?

Well... I've been away.

Oh, doing what?

Well, I've been helping those in need.

Helping those in need?

Well, how can you fix other people's problems

when you can't even fix your own?

Yeah...

(gulps)

Ugh, Donald's blowing it.

What else is new?

He needs our help.

All: Let's waiter up.

-Ready... -Set...

Wait.

Whoa, careful!

Whoa, whoa, watch out!

-Easy, corner. -Man: Hey, watch it.

-Steady. -Watch out.

Man: Why, I never.

Sorry, sir.

All: Watch out!

Bob said you've done such a good job,

you should take the rest of the night off.

(gasps) Bob noticed?!

Hurray!

Huh?

Your lobster and a bottle of Chateau Canard fizzy water, sir.

But I didn't ask...

Lobster and Chateau Canard!

My favorite!

And keep 'em coming!

I like this Donald 2.0.

Daisy, tonight, I'm all yours.

Lord Felldrake: Ridiculous.

If my magic couldn't stop the Moai,

how can a simpleton like you?

Trust me.

As president of the New Quackmore Institute,

I know a thing or two about manipulation.

Are you trapped in a rock bottom job?

-Feeling taken for granite? -Yeah.

Well, my friends, no need to be blue,

'cause I've the answer for you.

What's the answer?

Ah, I see what you're doing.

You need a vacation.

-(upbeat music playing) -(fireworks exploding)

We don't get vacations.

♪ You don't get a vacation, you take it ♪

♪ You don't ask for a party, you make it ♪

♪ You don't get a real suntan, you fake it ♪

♪ You don't sit on your booty, you shake it ♪

Come to think of it, I haven't had a vacation in 500 years.

Let's party, boys!

Moais: ♪ Oo, ah, oo, ah, ooo... ♪

(cheering)

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Put up your feet, you need a vacation ♪

Thanks, my feet are killing me.

Feeling thirsty?

-Have a drink. -Ooh.

Why so stone-faced?

♪ Loosen up! ♪

♪ It's sedimentary, don't you think? ♪

It's like, totally, working!

♪ Slip and slide into something more comfortable ♪

♪ You're on vacation! ♪

You only live once, dude.

Especially if you're eternal.

♪ You don't sleep like a baby ♪

♪ You wake it ♪

♪ You don't cabbage a party, you cake it ♪

♪ You don't sit on the Earth ♪

♪ You quake it ♪

♪ You don't get a vacation ♪

♪ You take it! ♪

(Moais cheering)

♪ ♪

Aww.

Your plan is actually working.

I can't believe it.

Well, I don't like to brag, but when you're as cunning,

crafty, shrewd, devious...

Long-winded, boring, smelly...

As me, you get things done.

♪ Step right up, my boiling tide ♪

♪ You must be this hot to ride this ride! ♪

Enough! Your song's over.

Lava Lizards: ♪ Make way for the queen! ♪

My goo!

Narrator on TV: And that concludes the epic saga of the Roman tuber.

(all snoring)

Next up, super exciting monkey monster trucks.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

(Felldrake laughing)

(indistinct, fast talking)

What, what?

(evil laughter)

There's trouble on Easter Island.

Get up, get up, get up!

We're up, we're up!

Next time, may I request a gentler wake-up method?

Yeah, like a bus crash.

April, May, June!

All: What's up, Sandra?

Put Donald on. It's an emergency.

Tell me about it.

We just got triple seated, and the kitchen's out of baked Alaska.

You know, Donald, one of the reasons we broke up

was that I could never count on you.

You were always leaving me stranded.

The old Donald was such an idiot.

(both laughing)

Excuse me, sir, you have some spinach in your beak.

What?

I don't see... what?

Uh-oh.

Oh, yeah, spinach.

Yum, yum, yum.

I'll be right back.

"Spinach, yum, yum, yum"?

He has changed.

I can't go now.

It's going so well.

It doesn't matter how well it's going.

We're a team.

-I'm coming to get you. - No!

Too late!

(growling)

So long, sucker!

Uh-oh.

Heh-heh.

(growls)

Got him!

Donald!

How we have missed you!

Finally, we can play threesies.

I'll get the cards.

Threesies?

-I thought this was an emergency. -It is.

Prepare yourselves, boys.

We're about to go beak-to-beak with Earth-shattering magic

of the darkest kind.

Are you ready?

-Yes! -No.

What was the questio...

Hey, a party!

(party chatter)

all: Uh...

okay...

Perhaps the map was mistaken.

This is not so much Earth-shattering

as... toe-tapping!

Yeah, what's the big idea?

Hey, hey!

Party on!

Xandra: Something's wrong.

The Moai are the guardians of the volcano.

They don't take breaks.

This is ridiculous.

Take me back.

Well, I guess if there's no danger.

But in the meantime, Jose, Panchito, stay on your guard.

You do not need to worry, my dear.

Yeah, we'll scout the conga line.

(muttering)

Have fun. Bye-bye!

Wow, Ari.

You look like you should get out of the house.

Wanna go to a party?

Woo-hoo! (muttering)

Where have you been?

And why are you wearing a dress?

I, uh, I lost my pants.

You don't wear pants.

(gulps)

(party chatter)

Wee! (continues, indistinct)

Stay close, Ari.

I'm not sure I trust this.

Huh?

Ah, now I remember why the Moai never take vacations.

Because lava lizards don't either.

(dance music playing)

Caballeros, quick!

Excuse me very much, but we

are about to win this dance battle.

Ahh!

(gasps)

Oh, man, fiesta foul.

Moai, to your posts.

The lava lizards are escaping.

Relax, lady, we're on vacation.

But you don't get vacations!

(Moais, in unison) You don't get a vacation.

You take it.

They're in a trance. Of course!

Only dark magic could make the Moai have fun.

I'll stop the lava lizards.

You guys shut this party down.

No problem, Xandra.

Hey, anybody got any free-form jazz records?

(grunting)

Lord Felldrake!

Well, if it isn't the Goddess of blabbity blah,

come to beat the bad guy.

Take your best shot.

Ha, ha, ha! I made them do that.

And now they shall cover the world in fire! (laughs)

Steer clear of the Moai.

There they are.

Stop those lizards!

Right there, and there, and there.

Cool move, bro. Do the point!

Ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah!

(lizards hissing)

Sorry, Gary.

Sorry, Sherry.

-Sorry, Harry. -Sorry, Barry.

I'm cool.

A lava bridge to the mainland?

Lord Felldrake: Yes!

Fit for a queen!

♪ ♪

Oh, hello!

You gotta be kidding me.

Get me to bridge so I can bathe the world in my hot goo!

Oh, hello!

Isn't she lovely?

My goo!

Things are certainly heating up, my friend.

Because of the lava?

Yes, Panchito.

That is what I meant.

Ow! Huh?

Oh, Donald, tonight was so perfect.

I almost can't believe it.

You mean it?

Mmm-hmm.

(smooching)

Oh!

Donald!

Uh, kinda busy.

-Jose and Panchito are in trouble. -Huh?

Daisy, I've gotta go.

My friends need me.

(growling)

I'm sure she'll understand.

You don't know Daisy.

Well on the bright side, we might all die.

What? What are you doing?

Get your hands off!

Who wants a goo?

No!

Hey, bro, what's that dance called?

It looks fun.

(Moai humming)

It's Donald 1.0.

His meltdown is stopping our meltdown.

(humming continues)

You saved us, my friend!

Our gooses were almost cooked.

I love a barbecue, but not when it's me.

What are you talking about? Huh?

Farewell, all you little people!

What in the heck is that?

A bridge over very troubled water.

Best luau ever!

Yah-woo!

I got it!

Stage dive.

A stage dive, yes.

Our signature move of friendship.

I've always wanted a signature move of friendship.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm!

(together) Jump! We'll catch you!

It'll be fun.

Cowabunga!

(all gasping)

Yeah!

Oh, no!

My goo!

The queen!

Her goo!

All is lost.

Lava Lizards: Retreat!

Run away!

No, where are you going, you fickle lizards?

What about my plan?

I had to listen to this fool singing for nothing?

I thought it was a pretty catchy tune.

It's over, Felldrake.

Yeah!

(howling)

Leopold, there's my good, widdle boy!

Well, dimwit, another failure.

At least you have one good quality, consistency.

And an excellent sense of rhythm.

Oh, I can keep a beat, too.

(rhythmically bonking on head)

Well, that was refreshing.

Now back to another millennium of our endless boring

sacred duty.

(muttering)

(dance music plays from boombox)

Thanks, little dude.

This'll make the rest of eternity go by in a flash.

Do you see what I mean, my friends?

We are fantastic together.

Like sardines and marshmallows.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Hurray.

Take me back to Daisy.

Or we could just keep hugging it out?

No!

(dance music continues)

Daisy, forgive me!

I'm so sorry I...

April: Daisy's gone.

Oh.

But we cleaned up on tips.

She left a note.

"Donald, you're just as angry,"

"undependable,"

"and selfish as you always were."

Oh.

-April: "Don't ever call." -May: "Email."

-June: "Text." -April: "Write."

May: "Video conference."

June: "BeakTime."

April: "Or smoke signal me ever again."

May: "However."

Huh?

"The service here was excellent."

"Four stars."

Oh.

All: Aww.

You know, Donald, you may still be angry.

And undependable.

But protecting Daisy by not telling her

about the Three Caballeros was very self-less.

Aww, you mean it?

May: Yeah, and here's the bill.

What?

(steam blowing)

(alarm ringing)

(Donald quacking and yelling, indistinct)

Well, it looks like we're back to square one.

Those statues may have failed us,

but they bring to mind some other very useful stones.

(evil laughter)

(theme music playing)