Original subtitles

Help me!

(roars)

(screeching)

Please forgive my ignorance, Xandra, but...

what is that bat-monkey thing?!

It kind of looks like a monkey-bat donkey-rat.

I'd say it's more of a bat-cat, gorilla-dog.

Or some sort of mongoose, pterodactyl, meerkat.

-Maybe it's a chupacabra? -Now that, I would buy.

Enough! Hmm.

(mumbling prayer)

Still got it.

What? Uh-oh.

(screaming)

-Jose, Panchito. -Aye.

Don't just stand there, find something to catch him!

-Oh, right. -Good idea.

-How about this? -No.

-Or this? -What?

-What about this? -Really?

But everything we have is so pointy.

Ha. Hoo-hoo.

Ooh.

Thank you, Ari, my strange little friend.

-(screaming) -Quick.

That-a-way.

-Wait. He's over there. -No, no, no.

Here. Wait.

There. There!

-(Ari quacking) -Ari, stop it.

Do, do, do. (giggles)

Great shadow puppet though.

(screaming) Oof.

Ahh.

(snaps)

(screaming)

(roars)

I know that creature.

Come on, Caballeros! Let's... Huh?

(teeth chattering)

And these are the Three Cabelleros.

We're Three Caballeros

Three brave caballeros

They say we are birds of a feather

We're happy amigos

No matter where he goes, the one, two, and three goes

We're always together

Ay!

The Three Caballeros!

(snorting)

Lord Felldrake, while I respect

your awesome evil authority, must I wear this ghastly thing?

Of course, you must.

That cloak will conceal your identity as a Sheldgoose.

And the Caballeros will think that I have returned for world domination.

And it really accents your eye bags.

-(grumbles) -(roaring)

(growling)

Daddy! (laughs)

Mommy.

Leopold, how I've missed your idiotic charm!

(gasping): Can't... breathe.

Come, Leopold. We've work to do.

-Let us fly! -(screeching)

Come on, guys. That thing is getting away.

We don't have time for this.

(in falsetto): Nobody's home.

(grunts)

(growls)

-(skittering) -Huh? Hmm.

Uh-oh.

(chuckles nervously)

Panchito (echoing): No, no, no. Left foot.

Donald: No, no. Right foot.

Jose: Ow! My face. Not the face!

Panchito: Easy for you to say, with your foot in my eye.

Ee!

Jose: Ow! You elbowed me in the ribs.

(shouting, grunting)

Jose: Ouch!

Hmph.

I know how this must look, but I can assure you,

we have a perfectly logical explanation.

Yeah. We're cowards.

What he said.

Listen. That bat creature out there was none other

than Leopold the Horrible.

I still think he's more of a monkey-bat, donkey-rat.

He is the faithful minion of Lord Felldrake,

the evil warlock who trapped me in this cursed atlas.

Mark my words, if that creature is here,

Felldrake is not far away.

All: Wow.

These lights are called zoom points.

With the atlas, I can instantly take us to any of these places,

like the Isle of Crete, where you faced the Minotaur.

Moo!

This cabana is also a zoom point.

See? Here we are.

So it is like a celestial global positioning system.

-Yeah. It's a smart map. -Uh...

Girls: Mmm-hmm.

Uh... exactly.

Not only that, this map can show us when Felldrake makes a move.

But how?

-(evil laughter) -Just like that!

Come on. Let's get ready.

Here, take this too.

So we can keep tabs on you.

-Huh? -Boo.

Ha! Wow. How about that?

-That is amazing. -Neato.

You'll be saying those kinds of things a lot from now on.

Now, hold tight. We're going to Egypt.

And here we are, Egypt!

(wind whistling)

(bird screeches)

Seriously?

(Leopold screeching)

(Sheldgoose whimpering)

Quickly, Cabs. To way... over there.

Not neato.

Why must we fly so fast?

There aren't any proper seat belts.

Don't be such a mamby-pamby.

Open your eyes and revel in our wicked greatness.

Hmm?

Why, it's Egypt, isn't it?

Very good for a mortal fool.

Maybe I was wrong about you.

(screaming)

Spoke too soon.

(Leopold screeches)

At last, Alqmr Alhrm, the moon pyramid.

Well, I've never heard of it. Why are we here?

All shall be revealed.

-Which means? -Shut up, and get inside.

Stand guard, Leopold.

(snarls)

Oh, he's a good creature, and the only civilized way to travel in Egypt.

Could you imagine riding a camel through this blazing heat?

Forget about it!

-(wind whistling) -(camels bellowing)

-(groans) -Are we there yet?

We're close.

Close to the sun maybe.

(groans)

(water sizzling)

-Donald: Are we there yet? -Xandra: Don't make me turn this camel around.

Hurry, you dolt. We must make haste to the central chamber.

It is the only way we can awaken our army.

-Army? In here? -No, you blithering...

Don't step on that stone!

Ow! What did you do that for?

It's booby-trapped, you boob.

While you're at it, avoid that wall panel,

and that wire, also that lever.

As a matter of fact, don't touch anything.

So many traps.

How do you know where they all are?

I discovered this place long, long ago.

Is this your tomb?

No, you nincompoop!

I'm not dead, I'm a staff!

Oh, you are?

-(screams) -Idiot.

Not you, Carla. I like you.

Oh... liked.

(camels groaning)

Oof.

(groaning)

Oh, you must be thirsty, my friends.

Please, take what is left of our water.

I was saving this, but you've earned them.

Nice.

Water! Water!

Both: Hmm?

(coughing)

Quiet. Look.

(snoring)

-(gasps) The monkey-bat. -Donkey-rat.

Let's be very careful here.

He's a ferocious beast.

So if we're going to sneak by him, we need a solid plan.

Huh? Oh, for the love of...

Wake up, monkey-bat.

It's payback time.

Yah!

(yelps)

(roars)

Uh-oh.

Or we could just do that.

(braying)

Told ya! Donkey.

Quickly, get inside.

Jose: Look out!

(grunting)

(grunts, shouts)

(babbles)

(thuds)

(groaning)

Leopold, you found us!

At least, I have someone around here

with a shred of intelligence.

Quick. We've got to shut him out.

One of these levers must close this door.

-What does this do? -Come on.

What about this one?

(electronic hum)

(rumbling)

Must be the rumble button.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... What's that?

Launch, you fool.

Okay, camels. Smile.

Wha...?

-Hmm? -Hmm?

(rumbling)

It appears we are taking a trip.

Where are we going?

(doors opening)

(gasps) The moon.

Okay. I'm back to neato.

-Huh? -(grunting)

(gasps, yelps)

If I had a body, I'd be in a lot of pain.

We need to gain control of this ship, so let's carefully... (groans)

Pull that one. How about this one?

How about that one?

This one's so pretty.

Careful or we might... Whoa!

(grunting)

Felldrake: Get up, you idiot!

Straighten her out.

Crashing might not be so bad if I don't have to deal with you three anymore.

Why don't we just zap back to the cabana with your magic book?

Yeah!

And if this rocket blows up the moon, what then?

No more werewolves?

-(howling) -They can be quite the nuisance.

-Yeah. -No.

We've got to figure out a way to land this thing

without any more problems.

(growls)

Come. We've no time to lose.

Oh no!

Not until you explain to me what's going on.

Fine. But let's make this quick.

(inhales)

(speaking rapidly): The pyramids were not built by earthlings.

They were built by moon men.

Except they're not really pyramids. They're actually ships.

These ships were used to transport the moon men back

and forth from the Earth to their secret civilization

on the dark side of the moon.

At some point in ancient history,

the moon men disappeared mysteriously,

leaving their lost city, and more importantly,

their advanced weapons, specifically the moon-bot army,

an army that I can control if we get to the moon,

which is why we are here.

Any questions?

-Many. -We only have time for one!

Who's piloting this ship?

That's easy. Astro mummies.

-What? -Huh?

(snarling)

(screaming)

-Huh. -(electronic beeping)

Huh?

-Oh. -(chatters)

I don't see how this can get any weirder.

-I do. -What?

Gallo Loco to the rescue.

Who knew that Panchito was Gallo Loco,

the famous luchador wrestler?

You learn something new every day.

-Yawoo! -(bell dings)

Surely there is something in here that can help us.

Hey, look! An instruction manual.

What is this? Italian?

Never fear. I shall translate.

It clearly says to push that lever.

(rocket engine roaring)

(all yell)

(chuckles) I see.

It is actually that one.

(metal squeaks)

Well, at least now, we will not see our horrible fate.

Third time is the charm.

Donald, pull that.

Xandra: Not helping.

(sputtering)

I would put that back.

(powers up)

Guys, we could use some help.

If only the ship had technical support.

It does.

Help!

(giggling)

April: Uh, you're a taxi cab.

-A popcorn maker. -Gorilla.

(jabbering)

Street mime.

Fabulous.

-(whistle trills) -Obese penguin?

A four-volume series on the Hoover Dam.

-(bell dings) -Cuckoo-koo.

Lucky guess.

-April, May, June. -Hello.

We need your help.

Or we're going to crash on the moon.

And get eaten by space mummies.

Who is this?

Please jump on the Internet and translate this.

Done and done.

Where's the no float button?

Ah-ha.

-Ohh. -Ha.

How do you like that?

Lady, you da man.

Not quite sure how I feel about that, but at least

we took care of our monster troubles.

(roars)

I'm gonna stop saying things.

Well, well, well, if it isn't the Three Caballeros

and Xandra, the goddess of adventure.

Lord Felldrake.

What?

It's you three morons?

Have you ever been to a party where everyone

knows everyone, except you.

Story of my life.

(screaming)

Quick! To the escape pod.

(cackles)

Coward!

Although I really wish I had thought of that.

Guys, we got your glyphs.

This one is for the landing doors.

(buzzing)

This one is for reverse thrusters.

And this one calls your flight attendant.

(dings)

(snarls)

(gasps)

(confused snarl)

(sighs)

I'll bring us in.

Are you sure, Donald?

Because that is a very teeny, tiny target.

Aw, phooey. I got this.

(groaning)

Well, that was better than expected.

The important thing is that we're all alive and out of danger.

(snarling)

Really?

Come on.

Don't worry. I got this guy.

(grunting)

(screaming)

(exclaiming)

He'll be fine.

(gasps)

-Ah. -We've made it.

We're here.

Hmm?

Buckle up, boys.

Hmm. This looks just like the hieroglyphics from the rocket.

No. Your other right arm.

Donald: No. No. Left foot.

-Hey, watch it. -Foot in my mouth.

No. Little to the left now.

Guys, you've got to learn to work together as a team.

Now, follow me.

(gasps)

Are these more rockets?

(evil laughter)

That's exactly what they are.

And they shall carry my invincible moon-bot army

to conquer the Earth.

I don't see an invincible moon-bot army.

(stomping)

Oh, that invincible moon-bot army.

Run for it!

Yeah. I should've seen that coming.

Attack!

(Xandra grunting)

Invincible, huh?

We'll see about that.

(grunting)

Huh?

(shouting)

Huh?

(grunts)

(grunting)

(gasps)

(laughs) Looks like you've escaped your book

just in time to see your story end.

(clangs)

That'll show him.

Caballeros, you actually learned to work together.

-Will you back up? -Ow.

You elbowed me in the ribs.

Incoming fist!

That's it.

Jose, left leg.

Panchito, right leg.

And I'll get the fists.

(clanging)

(Donald shouting)

Oh yeah?

Ahh!

Somebody's working out some issues.

Anger management.

No, you don't.

Yah!

Aah!

Oh no. It's too late!

Hi-ya!

Ha-ha. Hey.

-Ooh. -Pretty.

(laughing) End of the road, Caballeros.

I will so enjoy crushing you.

Donald: Oh yeah?

Ka-pow!

(bell ringing)

(Sheldgoose screams)

Curses, my magic is out of range.

(electricity crackling)

Hey, hey! We did it!

(cheering)

Well done, heroes!

I knew you could do it.

Uh-huh.

I knew you'd do that, too.

-(groaning) -Jose: My beak. Owie.

Owie. Owie. Owie.

We may have won the battle, but Lord Felldrake still got away.

Do not fret, Xandra.

We just saved the Earth from an army of invincible moon-bots.

And it's only our second day.

Plus, we get free snacks.

Gracias, Lucy.

(snarling)

Donald, my friend.

Would you do the honor of bringing us in?

Nah. I've done enough damage for one day.

Why don't you do it together?

Hey, I like that.

Okay. One.

Two.

I swear, Margaret.

I just saw a 5,000-year-old pyramid just fly awa...

I'm leaving you, Richard.

Now, that our moon-bot problem is over, let's go home.

And how!

Okay. Bye, bye!

At this rate, how long will it take us to reach Earth?

Not long. Maybe a month.

That's long.

It'll give me plenty of time to plot the destruction of the Three Caballeros.

I can't believe those buffoons are my neighbors.

It only makes it easier for me to destroy them.

You mean for us to destroy them.

Sure, us. Whatever.

(theme music playing)