Original subtitles

We are Three Caballeros

Three brave caballeros

They say we are birds of a feather

We're happy amigos

No matter where he goes, the one, two and three goes

We're always together

Ay!

The Three Caballeros!

Any last words before I send you to Hades?

How about a last request?

Or a last meal?

I'd settle for a last appetizer.

Caballeros, is that you?

I think you are mistaking us for someone...

Yep. We're The Three Caballeros.

Now, if you will excuse us, we will just walk away slowly,

and pretend this never happened.

Wait a minute.

Why are you wearing those strange clothes?

My good woman, this is cashmere.

And this is burlap.

And this is goodbye.

Bye-bye!

Ah-ha! You cannot fool me, impostors!

For I am Xandra, Goddess of Adventure.

Prepare to die.

(screaming)

Hmm. Headband, bracelet, sandals, ah-ha!

Judging by your ensemble, you hail from Greece?

Yeah?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Jose Carioca.

And you, my goddess, are a vision.

Or as the Greeks say... (speaking Greek)

I smell like feta cheese?

Mi amiga, yo soy Panchito.

Look what I can do.

Hey.

(humming)

Uh-oh.

I'm Donald Duck, and it's my birthday.

It is?

Yeah. You wouldn't hurt a guy on his birthday would you?

I suppose not.

Well, then!

(singing off-key): Happy birthday to me

Happy birthday to...

-(booming) -(Donald screams)

...to me

(coughs)

That was a warning.

Now, tell me the truth.

Where are the real Three Caballeros?

My dear, the truth is, we just do not know.

Yeah. We just got here!

You see, Donald's great grandfather left us this place

and all the cool stuff in it.

Which if you're done raining wrath upon us, we are going to sell.

For a cool million!

You wouldn't dare!

All: Huh?

Huh?

What are you do...

Alll right, let's be reasonable...

Please...

stop...

doing...

that!

Okay, okay.

Now, let's talk about this.

-I... -(laughing)

(humming)

-(gasps) -Looking good.

(gasps) May?

-Mm-hmm. -Cool. Magic mirror!

Stop messing around and go help that customer.

Help you find anything sir?

Oh, no.

Just browsing the wares.

Interested in this ring, sir?

Actually, I already own it.

Mmm-hmm.

Do you have a receipt?

Uh, well, not yet, but, uh...

Fine, I'll give you five dollars for it.

-I'll give you ten. -I'll give you 20.

Twenty dollar bid... (chanting numbers)

-Fifty! -Fifty.

-One hundred! -Two hundred!

-Four hundred! -Five hundred!

Now, $500. Feeling like we're going to go...

-Six hundred! -Six-fifty!

-Seven hundred -One thousand!

Sold! For $1000! to the gentleman with the creepy mustache.

That's good.

Ah, give me the ring.

Pleasure doing business with you.

-You, too. -Here's your receipt.

"So long sucker"?

With his tongue out?

Oh!

Oh. It doesn't matter.

Something tells me this purchase will pay off.

(laughter)

(Caballeros laughing)

You know, I would not have thought the 500th time would be funny, but it still is.

It totally holds up!

Ha, you said it!

What?!

If you are who you say you are,

why do you look just like the Three Caballeros?

Ma'am, I have no idea.

Hey, didn't that sleazy lawyer say something about us

-being direct descendants? -Yes. Yes!

And we inherited your book from Donald's great grandfather, Clinton Coot.

Which I guess, makes us great grand-friends.

Huh?

(gasping)

How long has my book been closed?

I don't know.

(gasps) Zeus's torn toga.

-(honking) -(gasps)

-(electronic beeping) -(gasps)

Ooh.

(gasps)

(barks)

(sighs) It's worse than I thought.

All right.

Let me explain from the beginning.

All: Ooh!

Across the globe and beyond are a multitude of mystic points,

upon which myths and legends are born.

This atlas is a map to them all,

but only I can harness its power.

All: Ah!

Centuries ago, a dark wizard named Lord Felldrake

gained possession of the atlas and bound me to the book,

forcing me to take him to these fantastic worlds.

-(gasps) -No.

Xandra: While there, Felldrake disrupted the balance

of mystical forces, bending them to his evil will,

and built an army to take over the universe.

(crying)

No way!

Xandra: Felldrake's victory seemed certain until they appeared...

The Three Caballeros!

Yay!

The Caballeros stormed Felldrake's stronghold,

and using the power of three magic amulets,

they trapped Felldrake in his own staff for all eternity.

I swore to be their guide and ally.

Together, we adventured to many magical realms,

undoing the evil of Felldrake while searching for a way

to free me from this book.

During one of our most dangerous adventures...

(yelling)

...my book was closed...

and hasn't been opened, until now.

Wow. These stories got everything!

Action, adventure, romance!

-Romance? -I have a crush on her. (chuckles)

All: Hmm?

Bookmark. Lets me close the book

without the hilarious disappearing act.

Well, many thanks for the history lesson,

but there is a gentleman outside who wants to buy this whole place.

Wait, what?

After all that, are you not even interested in what happened to your ancestors?

Nope. I'm interested in cash.

Cha-ching! (laughs)

Unfortunately, given the current state of my finances, I am in the same boat.

Well, I don't need the money, but, you know, peer pressure.

Wait!

But I can take you anywhere on Earth.

Magical places no one has ever gone.

You can protect the innocent, vanquish evil, be heroes!

All: Meh.

(grumbling) And... there's treasure.

Well, why didn't you say so?

You had me at "treasure"!

You had me at "and."

Caballeros: Ooh!

(burbling): Ah!

Wow!

Whoa!

Huh?

Welcome to the Island of Crete!

(echoing): Crete, Crete!

But where are all the Cretins?

And the treasure?

Ah, the real treasure is in there.

On the wall?

Hmm?

(beeping)

Oh, no. You guys go ahead.

I'm staying right here.

You are walking in the footsteps of your ancestors...

literally.

If you were half the hero your ancestor was, you'd have your treasure by now.

Oh, yeah? I'll show you!

Come on, boys.

My dear, are you sure you would not like to accompany us?

What, with your physical prowess,

magic bow, and your general competence?

Alas, I cannot pass through the mystic barrier.

I don't see a mystic barrier.

It's mystic.

Meh, that makes sense. Wait up, Donald!

Well, we are birds of a feather.

Hey, wait for me too, amigos!

This will take a miracle.

Coconut me.

All: Wow!

Yeah. Who'd wanna live here?

What a magnificent place. Look at the craftsmanship.

Are those columns ionic?

Both: Huh?

I am not ashamed of my passions.

How about if we make like a bad joke and knock, knock?

(growls)

(growls)

Moo?

Hello, my good cow man.

Moo moo, moo-moo.

-Wha? -Huh?

Hmm. Horn. Horn.

Chocolate milk.

Ah-ha!

I will handle this.

I am a master of every language known to man or beast.

(clears throat) Moo. Moo moo.

Moo. Moo. Moo. Moo. (snorting)

Moo, moo, moo, moo.

Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo. Ha, ha, ha.

Moo, moo, moo.

-Moo?! -Ooh...

What did you say to him?

I may have called his mother a cheeseburger.

-Moo?! -(yelps)

Moo... moo...

(bellowing): Moo!

(screaming)

(roaring)

Hmm?

(shouting)

(growling)

(Donald yelling)

Jose: Get him away. Get him away!

Ay, ya, ya, ya, ya.

What do I do? What do I do?

Split up. He can't follow us all.

And while he's distracted with those two chumps,

you can get out of here.

Good idea, handsome.

-Thanks, fellas. -(laughing evilly)

Split up. He can't follow us all.

Aw, come on.

You're on your own, buddy.

So long, sucker!

(screaming)

-(bellowing) -(yelling)

Hey guys, look!

(grunting)

Moo?

Ah-choo!

-(bellows): Moo! -(screams)

-Huh? -Whoa.

(shrieking)

Huh?

Wait.

Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo. Hmm?

Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo!

(laughing) This is fun.

-It's like the running of the bulls. -What?

I've got an idea.

Call his mother a double cheeseburger.

Moo. Moo, moo.

-Moo, moo, moo, moo. -Moo!

Moo, moo, moo, moo.

(bellows)

Panchito, ride him cowboy.

You got it.

I love steering steers.

Ha-ha!

-Huh? -Whoa. Ahhh!

Woo. Whoa.

Whoa!

Easy, girl.

Ah-ha!

Donald, why are you stealing that poor statue's loincloth?

Panchito, this way!

(grunting)

Ah, I see.

Toro, olé!

(bellowing)

Panchito: Coming in red hot!

Jump!

(bellowing)

All: Huh?

Minotaur: Hmm?

Oh, moo.

(gasps) My friends, look.

All: Ooh!

-(gasps) -(rumbling)

-Wow! -Fantastico!

Holy mariachi!

-You did it! -Huh?

I have to admit, I thought I'd be going home with nothing

but a handful of feathers.

Well, it was Donald's quick thinking that saved our skins.

Did you see Panchito ride?

And what about Jose's ability to make people

mad just by talking to them.

Yes... What?

We showed that stinky Minotaur who's boss.

Excuse moo?

Did I say stinky?

I meant fragrant.

Moo. (laughs)

I haven't had that much fun since the first Olympics.

Nice work, Larry.

Moo to you too, girl.

My work here is done.

(dings)

Geroni-moo!

Excuse me, but what the heck is going on?

-A test. -What?

One of you alone could not of defeated the Minotaur.

You had to work as a team.

The Caballeros themselves left the amulets here,

so they could be found only by those who are worthy.

Which you know, I guess you are.

But how are you here? What about that mystic barrier back there?

(laughing) There wasn't a mystic barrier, don't be ridiculous!

And now, I will teleport us home using this magic book.

-Wow. -Amazing.

And look, it is almost as if no time has passed.

Donald: Well, what do you know.

Amigos, I think our amulets are trying to tell us something.

All: Oh!

Huh?

All: Whoa.

This was under our beaks the whole time?

Whoa!

Well, boys, I did promise you treasure.

Whoa.

Ooh!

Oh, boy!

Very heroic!

And stylish!

Check it out!

Well, I guess these guys could be the new Three Caballeros with a little help.

Or a lot.

Donald, I... huh?

What are you doing?

We are posing.

Heroically.

Okay...

And who's she?

I am Xandra, goddess of adventure!

Right.

So there a guy outside who says he has a check for you.

Oh, yeah.

Well, hello!

Nice helmetry.

So I believe we agreed on one million for the cabana,

and all of its contents.

Donald: Oh, boy.

What do I do? What do I do?

What do I-

My friends, can we really put a price tag on our destiny?

Well, of course not!

Destiny is an abstract concept.

-I'm sorry, my good man. -Whaaa?

(steam whistles)

You don't know who you're messing with!

I am Baron von Sheldgoose, president of the New Quackmore Institute.

And I'll be watching you very closely, Donald Duck!

Microscopically close.

Subatomically close.

Uncomfortably close!

One slip up, and I vow, on my great ancestors,

to tear your little shack to the ground.

Good day!

I said, good day!

And I say good riddance!

Oh, my nose.

Why you...!

What in the...? (screaming)

(grunting)

Ahh!

Ahh, ow, ow!

Male: Sheldgoose.

Sheldgoose.

(laughing evilly)

It is I, Lord Felldrake the Terrible!

You mean, Felldrake Sheldgoose, my ancestor?

Of course I am, you moron!

We have unfinished business.

-We do? -Yes! I just said that, didn't I?!

Join me.

Yes.

My power now flows through you.

Yes.

I can feel it!

Now, we must summon an old friend.

Awaken, my pet.

Awaken!

Has anyone seen Ari?

(whistling) Come on, you.

Hop to it.

(screams)

Hello!

-Yeah. -Yahoo.

You guys make a pretty good team.

You're more like your ancestors than I thought.

Many thanks for your vote of confidence.

Yeah. I would have given up on us way earlier.

You know, this birthday wasn't so bad.

All: Um, Donald?

-(shrieking) -(screaming)

-(gasps) -Oh, no.

(shouting)

(screeching)

(theme music playing)