Original subtitles

♪ ♪

NARRATOR: This is my boss, Jonathan Hart, a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they met, it was murder.

♪ ♪

[WHIMPERS]

♪ ♪

JENNIFER: Jonathan.

Darling.

Yeah?

Well, you're not dressed. We'll be late for the opera.

It takes me five minutes to get ready.

That's what you said an hour ago.

Why is it that whenever we go to the Dodger game,

we're there for batting practice,

but to take me to the opera...

Believe me, you won't miss a note.

Uh-huh.

Oh, you're so beautiful.

Now, don't you start.

What opera are we going to?

Well, they're doing the entire Ring of the Nibelungen,

and tonight it's Götterdämmerung.

In German?

Natürlich.

How many hours?

[COUNTING IN GERMAN]

Five hours of opera in German?

Jawohl.

And you wanna know why I wanna be late?

Get your trousers on.

That's the trouble. I can't find my trousers.

Which one?

To the gray suit.

Not the gray pinstripe?

Yeah, I put it out on the bed,

and, uh, it's gone now.

Well, I sent them to the cleaners.

Why?

Well, because it's Tuesday.

The cleaner comes every Tuesday.

Whenever you want anything cleaned,

you always lay it out on the bed,

and so I sent it to the cleaners.

Well, then, um... I just won't have anything

to wear to the opera.

♪ ♪

We'll see.

Ah, this would do nicely.

Oh, not that old thing.

If I miss one note of Götterdämmerung...

I better take this one along too.

What for?

Well, with five hours of opera,

I'll need a change of clothes.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Something wrong?

I can't find the tickets.

What?

I'm not kidding. I can't find the tickets.

I put them in the inside pocket. I'm sure of it.

Well, did you look in your trousers?

No, I distinctly remember putting them

on the inside pocket when I laid out the suit

so I wouldn't forget them.

Oh, Jonathan.

The suit. The gray suit.

You put the tickets to the opera in the pocket of the gray suit

you sent to the cleaners. Yes.

MAN [OVER SPEAKER]: Curtain in five minutes.

Oh, my favorite opera.

Don't worry, darling. Come on.

Oh.

Look.

Can't you think of something?

Well, we've still got a few minutes.

Maybe someone has some extra tickets to sell.

Let's take a look.

Excuse me. I wasn't watching where I was going.

I'm very sorry. It was my... That's okay.

I'm a little nervous tonight. It's all right.

No harm done.

You okay? No harm done! Thank you.

Light me a cigarette, will you, honey?

[BELL DINGS]

Curtain in two minutes.

I'll make this up to you, darling.

Oh, you gonna buy me the album?

Hey, look, look, look.

There's a man standing there with two tickets.

Let's see if they're for sale.

Uh, excuse me.

Those tickets wouldn't by any chance be for sale, would they?

Well, I don't know.

You know, my wife had to stand in the rain

to get these tickets,

and she caught herself a terrible cold doing that.

And then we had to, uh...

We had to cancel the baby-sitter,

but we had to pay the baby-sitter anyway.

They get a small fortune these days.

That, uh, sounds reasonable.

Everything is going up.

What do you say...

$50 a ticket?

Fifty dollars a ticket?

You paid $100 apiece

for the Muhammad Ali fight.

He fights in English.

This guy's trying to scalp me.

If he doesn't, I will.

Okay, $50 a ticket. Here's... a hundred.

One hundred.

Thanks very much. Thank you.

Oh, I hope your wife feels better.

Well, I am sure she will sneeze all the way to the bank.

Curtain is now going up.

Please take your seats immediately.

I know I had that wallet when I paid the taxi.

We have got to be in those seats.

There's a man over there. Maybe he's the manager.

Marion, wait a minute.

We can't call attention to ourselves.

You're right.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

That pip-squeak that bumped into me,

he picked my pocket.

If I find him, I'll...

What is gonna happen if we are not in those seats?

I don't know, but we're not gonna wait around to find out.

Come on.

[SINGING IN GERMAN]

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

What act is it?

[WHISPERS] The third.

Still?

Do they serve a complimentary breakfast?

Shh!

I'm giving you the first 100,000 now.

You get the second hundred after the hit.

It's hard to believe this turkey ever was a hit.

Shh.

The hit.

The one you're supposed to make.

What?

The rest of the instructions

are in the envelope with the money.

What money? What are you talking about?

Where'd you get this? Who are you?

Just... Just follow the orders, okay?

Why don't you follow me out to the lobby,

and we can talk about it out there.

Jonathan!

You're not quitting.

The best part's coming up.

I'm not quitting, I'm getting paid off.

There's more c-notes in here than Wagner.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[CROWD CLAMORING]

♪ ♪

Officer, do I look like a murderer to you?

I don't know. What's a murderer supposed to look like?

I've told you over and over again.

I'm Jonathan Hart.

Uh, do you read the financial page?

Sure.

Oh.

Auto loans are up to 17 percent right now.

MAN: Jonathan.

Oh, Andy. Thank goodness.

They allowed me one phone call, Andy.

Hm. Lieutenant Kirkson, Homicide.

Well, it's always nice to hear from you two.

How's Max and Freeway?

Everybody's fine but me.

They've accused him of murder.

So who'd you kill, Jonathan?

Nobody.

Sergeant, you can release Mr. Hart in my personal custody.

I'll call your captain.

Yes, sir.

Uh, the keys?

Keys.

What do you think, Jennifer?

Why not?

Otherwise, he won't be any help

whatsoever with the dishes.

So, what happened?

Well, we were just sitting... I was sitting over...

Wait a minute, Jonathan, you're the prime suspect.

You tell me.

I was sitting over there,

watching my favorite opera...

Your favorite opera?

It's my favorite opera.

You were sitting over there, half asleep,

when the man next to him gave him $100,000

and told him he'd give him another $100,000 after the hit.

Exactly.

Go on.

Well, then I...

Well, then just as he was about to go out to the lobby,

the man next to him slumped over the chair

with a knife in his back,

leaving Jonathan with the cash and the instructions.

That's all we know.

KIRKSON: Well, I know a little bit more.

We got a tip that a hit was being planned

on a very prominent figure.

Who's the target?

We don't know. It could be political,

a celebrity, criminal, businessman.

The field's wide open.

Who tipped you off?

Somebody directly connected with the scheme.

Well, then why don't you ask him who the target is.

Can't. Why?

He's the guy with a knife in his back.

♪ ♪

KIRKSON: That's Harry Carney.

A very clever fellow.

What do you mean?

Well, they...

They must have found out he was talking to us,

'cause they let him deliver the money and the instructions,

and then they killed him.

And they gave me the envelope.

It doesn't look like you need the money.

This whole evening has been a disaster.

First, I sent the wrong suit out to the cleaners,

with our opera tickets in it, and they are sold-out.

So, what do I do?

I buy two more tickets from a scalper,

and guess where I sit?

I sit in the hit man's seat.

Now, the murderer must have seen the payoff,

and he thinks that I'm the hired gun.

Well, you... You took their hundred grand.

Jonathan, what probably happened

is they imported a top gun,

some guy you wouldn't know on sight.

These guys keep their identity under wraps pretty well.

This says that I'm supposed to call this number on Friday

to get further instructions.

Why wait till Friday?

OPERATOR: I'm sorry.

The number you have reached is not in service at this time.

Recording.

That's great.

Look, Jonathan,

I'm sorry you got yourself

in the middle of this thing.

We have, uh, an informant who's dead,

and we don't have one solid lead to stand on.

Oh, yes, you do.

What do you mean?

They saw me make the first contact.

They believe that I'm their man.

I...

I am a hit man.

♪ ♪

Mr. Six. You'll be happy to know...

Hey, hey, hey.

Now, where the heck's the 10 of diamonds, huh?

What?

You'll be happy to know, Mr. Six,

that the opera was a great success last night.

How nice.

Our friend from out of town got his down payment.

He'll, uh, call us on Friday.

That's nice.

By Saturday night,

our courageous district attorney will be dead.

Without him, his case against you

goes right down the drain.

No more subpoenas,

no more harassment.

You'll be moving narcotics in and out of this town

just like before.

How's that sound, Mr. Six?

Sounds nice.

[PHONE BUZZES]

Yeah.

Who?

Oh, McGarity.

He's here?

I thought McGarity was gonna call me on Friday.

What's he doing here now?

Beats me.

And how'd he locate me?

Nobody knows I'm behind this.

There's, uh, one way to find out.

Yeah. Send him in.

Mr. Six?

Mr. Six, it's always a pleasure to, uh...

meet the man who's paying me.

I'm McGarity. Just got in from Chicago.

I never cared for the wind.

Took a few phone calls back home to locate you.

I'm unlisted.

So I noticed.

You know, you have quite an undesirable element

in this town.

Last night, my wallet was lifted.

I didn't make it to the opera.

So...

the opera was a big success last night, eh, Benny?

The guy in the seat took the...

The payment just like clockwork.

What guy? Huh?

Who was in that seat, Benny?

A cop? I don't know.

Somebody trying to double-cross me?

Nobody makes a fool outta me.

Nobody's going to.

I'm here to earn my money, as agreed.

I paid a hundred grand...

already.

Not to me.

I've had less trouble with the IRS.

[SIGHS]

You've come this far, Mr. McGarity.

We have a deal, as agreed.

Fine.

Your reputation is well-deserved.

I also have a reputation to uphold.

I'll tell you what.

For the same money, I'll make the hit,

and I'll find out who took my place at the opera.

I'll take care of him too.

How?

I was supposed to phone in on Friday.

I assume this phony had the same instructions.

That's right. He's to call Friday at noon.

Well, I'll be here to take the call.

You know, a man in your line shouldn't fail a second time.

That's not nice.

♪ ♪

JONATHAN: Right, Alvin, that sounds

just about perfect. [INTERCOM BUZZES]

Hold on one second.

Yes, Deanne.

Send him in.

Kirkson.

JENNIFER: Hi, Andy.

JONATHAN: All right, Alvin. If you'll go ahead and draw those up.

That'll be fine. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Good afternoon, Jonathan.

That was quite a merger you just pulled off.

How did you know?

Well, between the phone company and the police department,

your line is pretty well tapped into.

You're a very busy boy.

Mm-hm. Now it's your turn.

Here's the number.

We're all hooked up to run a trace.

Look, Jonathan, I know they're gonna wanna

keep your call real short.

So just keep 'em talking as long as you possibly can.

Maybe I should make that call.

Jonathan always says I can keep people on the phone for hours.

All we need is two minutes.

[DIALING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Welcome to Los Angeles.

Thank you very much.

Now, be available for tomorrow night.

You've been invited to a costume party,

and you've already accepted.

You'll be on the guest list.

It's 230 Morton Road.

Uh, let me get a piece of paper and a pencil.

I'm not too familiar with this area.

Just a second.

[MOUTHS WORDS]

That's 230 Morton Road?

That's right.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, uh, you're from out of town.

Well, I'll give you directions.

That's right. Just keep him talking.

It's in the Hancock Park section.

An old mansion on the corner of Morton and Ferdinand.

Be there at 9.

Morton and Ferdinand at 9:00.

You'll be contacted at the party as to who the target is.

You'll be given a gun that can't be traced.

How will I know my contact?

Well, we opera lovers can always spot each other.

Isn't that right?

Goodbye.

[LINE CLICKS]

It's great.

We'll have a trace on him in a minute.

Did you get it?

'Course.

The call came from 555-6903.

It came from a place called Hart Industries.

Sounds like a big organization.

It could have come from any one of the thousand extensions.

No, according to these phone company records,

555-6903 is the number assigned

to a Mr. Jonathan Hart himself.

This Jonathan Hart is a corporation president?

Hey, he's probably got a lot of heavy connections.

I don't get it. What's his angle?

We'll know tomorrow.

And our location is secure?

Of course.

With this phone equipment, I can work wonders

Alexander Graham Bell never dreamed of.

[CHUCKLES]

KIRKSON: It doesn't make any sense.

You didn't use an area code,

and the phone company swears

that you were talking to a nursery school

in Winnetka, Illinois.

Where'd you leave the car, darling?

Oh, I parked on the street. Someone was in your spot.

KIRKSON: It was me.

I'm sorry. I was in a hurry.

Let me drive you to your car.

Um, Andy, look.

You've been chaperoning us all week.

We'll be fine.

No one could possibly know who we are.

All right, let me drive you to your car.

♪ ♪

[ENGINE STARTS]

Goodbye, Mr. Hart.

Oh, my God!

Jonathan, be careful!

Oh, my God!

Jonathan?

Jonathan, watch out!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

Now they know who we are.

Yeah, but who are they?

BENNY: Hey, we didn't expect to see you

until the farewell party tonight, McGarity.

Had a little problem.

I wired what I thought was Hart's car,

but a cop got in instead.

Killing a cop is a little problem to you?

What was World War II, a misunderstanding?

Okay.

What about the Harts?

They got away.

Figures.

[EXHALES]

I see this Mr. Hart doesn't give up easily.

Okay, McGarity. I'm running the show now.

Since this Hart is so anxious to kill our DA,

why don't we just let him?

Let Hart kill the DA?

How you gonna do that?

The way I figure it,

Mr. Hart will kill the DA

just like I paid him to do it.

Picture this, McGarity:

There's the DA, lying dead,

surrounded by his family and friends.

Then one angry and indignant citizen

seizes the moment,

takes a stand for law and order,

and gets his revenge by shooting the assassin,

Mr. Jonathan Hart.

And I'm that indignant citizen.

Right.

Right.

♪ ♪

Max, how do you scramble the eggs perfect every time?

My Aunt Sadie taught me.

She was a cook in a woman's prison.

What's her recipe?

First, you steal two eggs, then...

Thanks, Max.

You know, it says here in Trading Commodities

that soybeans have gone down 60 cents,

corn has gone down 20 cents,

and look at this: pork bellies.

Darling, not while we're eating.

Oh, look, on the society page,

all about the party we're attending tonight.

"A virtual who's who of the business,

"sports, political and entertainment worlds

"is expected to turn out tonight for the gala costume bash

"being thrown by Miss Claude Hopkins,

in honor of District Attorney Burlington."

Wow, sounds like everyone who is anyone will be there.

Yeah, and somebody who is somebody is gonna be the target.

Do you know who this Miss Hopkins is?

No, but I sure would like to.

And I'd like to get a look at the guest list.

Maybe we should check out the scene of the crime...

before it's committed.

Are you, uh, finished?

Right.

♪ ♪

[HORN HONKS]

Mr. Hart,

we need to have a word with you.

Jonathan, they're drawing their...

Sergeant Ewell.

Sergeant Tate. We're L.A.P.D.

[SIGHS] We're a little edgy.

We understand. We worked with your friend

Lieutenant Kirkson on this case.

Well, we came early

to take a look around before tonight.

Where you go, we go.

Andy Kirkson's orders.

Well, in that case, uh, shall we?

Here you are, Mr. Hart.

The guest list.

Oh, thank you very much.

Ah, 500 of the district attorney's

most intimate friends.

No, I think he knows perhaps a hundred of those people.

Some of them are my friends.

You know, the DA was just named Man of the Year.

Some of my friends and I are thinking of...

Of backing him for a run at the Senate.

Ohh.

And the other guests?

Oh, well, I hired a public relations firm

for the entire party.

Oh, say no more. I can see that there's

baseball players on here, movie stars, columnists.

Uh, Mrs. Hopkins...

Miss. Miss Hopkins.

Do you know of anybody on this list

who's being threatened?

Threatened?

You know, anyone who might have any enemies.

Enemies that might want to kill them.

Oh, I see. Um...

Uh, like that man?

Oh, yes, yes. Edmund Hall.

He just pulled off quite a stock market deal.

He managed to wipe out his lifelong partner.

[SCOFFS]

Charming.

♪ ♪

Anybody else? Oh.

Oh.

Uh... Helen Ward.

Helen Ward.

Oh, isn't she the one who just won

that... record-breaking divorce settlement?

That's right, Mrs. Hart.

Her ex-husband would like nothing better than to see her

buried six feet under. He makes no bones about it.

Could you have your secretary make up a list

of telephone numbers of the people you think are in danger,

so we could alert them?

Yes, I'll do that, Mr. Hart.

EWELL: Oh, and we'll be here tonight,

armed and undercover.

Thank you, Officers, uh,

Ewell and Tate.

We once entertained at a policemen's ball

as Laurel and Hardy.

[MISS HOPKINS CHUCKLES]

And our wives saved the costumes.

[LAUGHING] I'll see your names are left at the door.

Bye-bye. Thank you.

Goodbye.

Miss Hopkins, would you sign for the catering please?

Oh, certainly.

Thank you. Quite all right.

Everything set up okay?

Oh, yes.

[CHUCKLES]

This set-up is as nice as nice can be.

♪ ♪

Mr. H, Mrs. H, you're supposed to be

at that costume party in a half-hour.

Well, shut my mouth.

[AS RHETT BUTLER] Let me tell you somethin', shorty.

These are four-inch Justins.

They'll put a pretty big dent in that little body of yours.

Now, where's that sweetheart of mine?

Scarlett!

[AS SCARLETT O'HARA] Coming.

Now, that's my girl.

Why, fiddle-de-dee,

I'd rather go to war than be your girl.

Let me tell you somethin', honey.

You're gonna be my girl,

if I have to lick you to prove it.

[CHUCKLES] Wow, Mrs. H.

You did wonders with those old kitchen curtains.

Why, thank you, Max.

Max, uh, will you please bring the car around for us?

Mr. H, uh, let me get a costume and go with ya.

No, that's out, Max.

Just, uh, get the car.

But it can be dangerous.

Max, the police will be there.

Besides, we've already lost one friend,

we have no intention of losing another.

I can grab a bedsheet and go as Julius Caesar.

You know what happened to him?

I'll get the car.

[AS RHETT BUTLER] Sweetheart, I love you.

I really do. You're absolutely scrumptious.

[LAUGHS]

[AS SCARLETT O'HARA] Cap'n Butler.

Everything above the wrist is à la carte.

Come on, will ya.

Don't move.

Back up.

Back up.

I'll, uh, take that, Mr. Hart.

Now, what with the gas crunch,

we'll, uh, carpool it.

You'll ride with me.

Or shall I say,

Mr. Hart will ride in one car, and Mrs. Hart will ride with me.

And, uh, don't try anything, Mr. Hart.

Remember, you got a little job to do for us tonight.

And you'll see Mrs. Hart, safe and sound,

after you've made the hit.

Otherwise...

Well, uh,

Mrs. Hart might have a little accident.

You get the picture?

The back door will do nicely.

Move it.

♪ ♪

Where is everybody?

Hey, boss.

Anybody there?

[BARKING]

What's up, Freeway?

[BARKING]

What are you trying to tell me?

[BARKS]

Something ain't right. I don't care.

Costume or no costume, I'm going to that party.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE HOUSE]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Get in.

Wha...? In there?

In there!

Oh.

Well, I suppose this means

that I don't get to go to the party.

I'm sorry to spoil your fun, Mrs. Hart.

Especially since you've gone to all this trouble

with your costume and all.

Might I add,

that you look extremely attractive tonight.

I don't mean to be ungracious,

but you can keep your compliments,

and your distance.

Oh, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to get close enough

to tie you up.

And after you tie me up, what then?

Oh, I'm gonna leave you alone...

for the moment.

'Course, once you're a widow,

anything's possible.

You're gonna kill Jonathan

regardless of what happens, aren't you?

Just as soon as he makes the hit,

he's a dead man.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, thanks, honey.

I got the list of everybody who's supposed to be here,

but with these costumes on, I can't tell who's who.

Yeah. That's who's here, all right, the who's who.

Your name?

I'm not on the guest list.

Oh, I can tell. Thisisa costume party.

But it's my boss, Jonathan Hart,

he's disappeared.

Hart?

Oh.

Checked his name off myself.

Can't I go in, just for a minute?

No, no, no.

[KNOCK ON WALL]

Is somebody there?

Help!

Help!

Help me!

JENNIFER: Somebody there?

Help!

Help!

I'm afraid this is gonna be uncomfortable, Mrs. Hart,

but, really... you give me no choice.

[KNOCKS]

Get me a bed sheet,

and I'll sneak in as Julius Caesar.

WOMAN [LAUGHING]: Are you crazy?

MAN: Your husband will never find us in here.

[LAUGHING]

Come on.

Oh, your mask is scratching me.

[SIGHS]

[MOANING] Take off your cape.

Oh, if my husband finds out about this,

he's gonna kill me.

MAN: Divorce him.

WOMAN: Yes, but how do I know you can get a divorce?

MAN: Robin and I are separated.

WOMAN: Oh, yeah.

Sounds like an afternoon soap opera.

Shrimp, sir?

No, thanks.

Not hungry tonight?

We'll have two ginger ales.

Right.

Here you are, sir.

♪ ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

Where'd you come from?

I came out of the closet.

Ta-ta.

[SLOW DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

There's no need to be a wallflower.

Would you care to dance?

[AS RHETT BUTLER] No, thanks, little lady.

You see, when it comes to dancing, I'm all thumbs.

[CHUCKLES]

This ring tells me that you're married,

but I won't tell your wife...

if you won't.

No, thanks, honey.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm sure that she wouldn't mind.

As a matter of fact,

I'm sure that Mrs. Hart would encourage it,

Mr. Hart.

Mr. Hart, will you take a peek into my basket.

Why, Red, what big surprises you have.

At exactly 10:00,

Miss Hopkins is gonna present a plaque

to the district attorney,

proclaiming him Man of the Year.

And when the DA rises to accept it,

you're to shoot him.

The district attorney?

He's over there, dressed as Superman.

And these bullets

will penetrate the Man of Steel.

I have two policemen watching us.

One sign from me and they'll pick you up

as an accessory to an attempted murder.

I will give you your freedom

for my wife's.

Now...

where is Jennifer?

Are you referring to those two policemen over there?

Ten o'clock, Mr. Hart.

In exactly 15 minutes.

And one word to the DA

or to anyone else...

and you will never see Mrs. Hart again.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go visit Grandmama.

[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[CLANKING]

Pardon me, madam.

Sorry, sir.

Max.

Please. Maxine.

What are you doing?

I got worried when you and Mrs. H disappeared.

Well, I didn't disappear, but Mrs. H has.

They've got her, Max.

No kidding.

Where?

I don't know.

Once I kill the DA,

maybe they'll lead us to her.

You're gonna kill the DA?

Max, we're being watched. Um...

just act natural.

I do this every night.

You lead.

In about five minutes,

there's gonna be a little bit of an explosion,

so why don't you take off, huh?

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Ooh-fa.

Señorita.

May I have this dance?

Wha...?

Dance with me,

and all of Mexico will be at your feet.

I don't want all of Mexico at my feet,

or any other part of me. Please.

Name your price, huh?

I will give you one of my tin mines.

I am known as Juan Tizol,

[STOMPS FOOT]

the tinfoil king.

I will be never known as the tin foil queen.

I find it repulsive. Please.

Oh, please, signorina.

I love it when they play rough. Maxine.

Maxine, get going.

I'm trying to. Heaven knows I am.

Señorita. Please. Please. Por favor.

She's not all she seems to be.

What woman is?

But when I see them,

wedding bells chime.

Mwah. I love you.

[GRUNTS]

Ladies and gentlemen. [BELL RINGING]

Ladies... Your attention, please? Thank you.

At this time,

it is a great privilege for me to present

the distinguished Man of the Year,

our courageous district attorney,

Mr. Randolph Burlington.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

♪ ♪

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[CROWD GASPING]

[SCREAMING] Get down!

Randolph.

Okay, Mr. District Attorney,

you can get up now.

[GRUNTS]

I'm sorry about the cocktail sauce,

but I wanted to make it look real.

That's all right, Max.

Look at this hole in the wall.

That bullet was real.

It came closer to me than it did to you.

Don't worry.

Mr. H can miss better than anybody when he wants to.

♪ ♪

MR. SIX: You get up front with Benny, I'll get in the back with her.

BENNY: Come on.

Both of you, get out. Come on.

BENNY: Okay, okay.

Come on, get out.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

All right, Red, where's my wife?

In the truck.

Don't let Red Riding Hood fool you.

The wolf could take lessons from her. Pick him up.

Hey, it's me, Rhett.

Oh...

Oh, darling.

Mrs. H.

Max?

Don't ask.

Am I glad to see you.

There you are, my hot-blooded vixen.

JUAN: Mm. The next dance is ours, huh?

If I give you one dance, will you let me go?

[CHUCKLES]

As you wish, señorita.

Once I get them on the dance floor,

they're mine forever.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I wonder where Max is?

It's almost 2:00.

Well, he's probably dancing his way

into the señor'sheart.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, Max,

how was your date? [GRUNTS]

Men.

You can have 'em.

What happened?

With a couple of drinks in him,

it was all lovey-dovey

and, "Let me show you my tin mines."

Then, he sobered up.

Oh, dear.

Dropped me like a rock.

Not even cab fare home.

Max, I tell you what you can do about that.

Make yourself a drink,

put on some cheap music, and, uh,

you'll forget all about him.

Yeah, you're right, but it won't be easy.

Every time they serve me baked potato with the tin foil,

I'll think of what might have been.

♪ ♪

[GIGGLES]

♪ ♪