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Damn! Damn!
Damn!!
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I can't even break a board with that
big, black blueberry's face on it!
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And look at this!
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Is it realy that important to have
the whole black community on drugs?
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Of course not. I could give a damn
about the black community and its mama.
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This is about Black Dynamite.
He thinks he's so black and dynamite.
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Without the black community,
there is no need for a Black Dynamite.
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00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:22,689
Why don't you find another black
that's not so dynamite to have
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- an unhealthy obsession about?
- Shut up! Now, give me an evil plan that
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00:01:26,643 --> 00:01:30,529
will destroy the black
community, thus rendering that
13
00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:34,415
brillo-headed Black Dynamite
obsolete once and for all!
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00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:38,100
Well, congres did just pass
a new domestic aid package, whose small
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00:01:38,135 --> 00:01:41,581
print takes all the money out of
education, planned parenthood, and public
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housing and puts it into subsidizing
illegal drugs in the black community.
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Henry, you sick mothafucka,
this is why I love you.
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With drugs so cheap, no blackie
alive will be able to resist, and
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soon, everyone will be dead,
unproductive, and hopelessly hooked.
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00:02:09,412 --> 00:02:12,710
Hmm. Two wrongs
don't make a right, but when
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00:02:12,711 --> 00:02:16,008
everything's too right,
something's got to be wrong.
22
00:02:16,009 --> 00:02:18,160
What I gonna do?
Huh? Huh?
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What I gonna do? Don't you shut
that off and give me the bait!
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00:02:21,899 --> 00:02:25,334
- Freeze, Tasty Freeze!
- Shit!
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00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:31,194
Tasty Freeze, how
many times has Black Dynamite
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00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,424
talked to you about selling
drugs in his comunity?
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I think it was twice, Black
Dynamite. See, there was
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00:02:35,353 --> 00:02:37,246
the first time you said not to,
and then the second ti...
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00:02:37,248 --> 00:02:40,182
Well, Black Dynamite
only talks with his mouth twice.
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00:02:40,184 --> 00:02:42,985
- The third time, he talks with his hands.
- No, no, no, no, no, wait ...
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00:02:42,987 --> 00:02:45,520
- Ow! Stop!
- If you want Black Dynamite's hand to stop,
32
00:02:45,522 --> 00:02:47,522
you better tell him something
good. Can you dig it?
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00:02:47,524 --> 00:02:51,327
What I was trying to say, before your
hand so rudely interrupted me, is I ain't
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selling drugs to the community no more!
No, Black Dynamite, I swear to God!
35
00:02:54,981 --> 00:02:57,782
I put it on all my hos!
I'm selling drugs for the community.
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00:02:57,784 --> 00:03:01,320
I don't understand, and Black
Dynamite don't like not understanding shit
37
00:03:01,321 --> 00:03:04,857
even more than he don't like
saying shit three times with his mouth.
38
00:03:04,892 --> 00:03:07,858
Get his ass, Black Dynamite!
These drug dealers are messin' up the community!
39
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:09,928
Since when have
you complained about the
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00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:12,531
- drugs in the community, Basehead?
- Since nobody will sell me none!
41
00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:15,567
I can't get no base from
nobody in this damn community!
44
00:03:22,309 --> 00:03:24,375
- Spare me your shuck, and spare me your jive.
- No, no. He's telling
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00:03:24,377 --> 00:03:27,512
the truth, Black Dynamite.
Now, will you shut your fist up
46
00:03:27,514 --> 00:03:30,449
for a minute and just let
me show you, man? Please?
47
00:03:30,451 --> 00:03:35,921
Fine. Let me back up my car so
you ain't pinned to the wall no more.
48
00:03:37,669 --> 00:03:41,392
And I don't know how it happened,
Black Dynamite, but the moment you left the
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00:03:41,394 --> 00:03:44,429
community, it just got flooded
with drugs. I mean good drugs.
50
00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:48,500
Good, good, good drugs. I mean, this shit
have you seeing unicorns and sasquatches,
51
00:03:48,502 --> 00:03:51,570
but not the big sasquatches ...
like, the little, tiny sasquatches.
52
00:03:51,572 --> 00:03:55,474
- Basehead! - Well, anyway,
Black Dynamite, these drugs are so cheap, it was
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00:03:55,476 --> 00:03:58,577
easy to turn a profit, and black people
didn't even want to use them no more.
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00:03:58,579 --> 00:04:01,446
Speak for yourself! I'll take a
high over a life of wealth any day.
55
00:04:01,448 --> 00:04:04,950
Black Dynamite, the word spread so fast
that soon, every white-collar whitey who wanted
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00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:07,953
some white was down here trying to score.
Come to find out, they buy more
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00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:11,690
drugs than the black community. Everybody in
the community became a drug dealer, and I mean
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00:04:11,692 --> 00:04:14,860
- everybody ... except Basehead, of course.
- I got so desperate, I was 'bout
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00:04:14,862 --> 00:04:19,063
to move out of the black community just
so I could come back in and get some drugs.
60
00:04:19,065 --> 00:04:21,467
But I ain't have no car,
'cause I already sold it
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00:04:21,468 --> 00:04:23,869
for some base the second
week I became a Basehead!
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00:04:23,871 --> 00:04:27,005
Okay, then. Tell me ...
what's happening with all this
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00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:29,708
- newfound honky drug bread?
- We cleaned up the streets,
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00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,662
Black Dynamite, with real soap. We buildin'
libraries, and we openin' markets that fulfill the
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00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:36,465
Black man in america's long
struggle to acquire fresh produce.
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00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:39,957
And it's all thanks to the
white community's drug addiction.
67
00:04:40,017 --> 00:04:43,839
I'm trying to see the downside of all this,
but all I keep coming up with is a whole lot of ups.
68
00:04:43,841 --> 00:04:47,709
Oh, damn! I'm gonna be late! All the hustlers
are using this good drug money to sponsor
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00:04:47,711 --> 00:04:50,912
a black fair in the community this afternoon.
Why don't you come check it out,
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00:04:50,914 --> 00:04:54,564
Black Dynamite? You too, Basehead.
We could use you in the Basehead throw.
71
00:04:54,599 --> 00:04:58,478
A Basehead throw?! What kind
of person gonna take a Basehead
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00:04:58,479 --> 00:05:02,357
and throw him at a wall like he a
damn dwarf or somethin'? Fuck you!
73
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:07,796
How much base you get for a Basehead
throw? Like, you get, like, a pound
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00:05:07,798 --> 00:05:11,633
of base? 'Cause I could be thrown
for a pound of base, no problem at all.
75
00:05:15,869 --> 00:05:19,474
This can't be true. They should have
killeach other by now!
76
00:05:19,476 --> 00:05:21,843
Oh, man. This
stuff is real, real, real good.
77
00:05:21,845 --> 00:05:24,813
- Where did you get that?
- The black community. Where else?
78
00:05:24,815 --> 00:05:27,816
Everyone gets their coke from there now.
They've got really good prices.
79
00:05:27,818 --> 00:05:32,621
You fuckin' idiot! We made the drugs
that cheap so they can kill themselves,
80
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:36,133
- not sell it back to us!
- I'm sorry, Mr. President, but you and this
81
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:38,685
Black Dynamite shit has
got me under a lot of stress.
82
00:05:38,725 --> 00:05:42,057
Damn it, kiss. If drugs can't wipe
out the black community, what can?
83
00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,899
Oh, no reason to call there, Darlin'.
84
00:05:43,901 --> 00:05:49,354
- I'm just gonna walk right in.
- Elvis Aaron Presley, the King of rock 'n' roll?
85
00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:52,805
- What are you doing here?
- Mr. President, I heard there was a drug epidemic
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00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,644
in white America, and that thing
made me madder than a premenstrual
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00:05:55,646 --> 00:06:00,682
mosquito in a mannequin factory.
I said to myself, I said, "Elvis, you got to stop the
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00:06:00,684 --> 00:06:03,552
ghetto from selling their black
drugs to the white american people."
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00:06:03,554 --> 00:06:06,555
So I hightailed out of Graceland
faster than a cat can lick his own ass.
90
00:06:06,557 --> 00:06:09,658
Send me into the black community,
Tricky Dicky. I want to serve my country.
91
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,794
Mr. President, you're not going
to let Elvis do this, are you?
92
00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:18,733
- He'll get himself killed.
- Exactly!
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00:06:18,735 --> 00:06:24,340
Elvis Aaron Presley, I knight you
the undercover D.E.A. agent of the secret
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00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:29,711
"Operation Ghetto Blaster."
I give you the complete authority to stop the black
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00:06:29,713 --> 00:06:35,208
community from poisoning the white
community with their drugs, by any means
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00:06:35,282 --> 00:06:39,488
- necessary or unnecessary.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
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00:06:44,424 --> 00:06:48,192
Damn! Damn!
Damn!!
98
00:06:49,227 --> 00:06:51,581
James done died, Penny
got burned by an iron, and
99
00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:53,935
J.J. just got shot. Whoo!
"Good times" is hilarious!
100
00:06:53,937 --> 00:06:57,606
Honey Bee! Are you sure
this perm is supposed to be in here so long?
101
00:06:57,608 --> 00:07:01,114
- It feel like my hair done burnt off.
- Uh-oh.
102
00:07:01,149 --> 00:07:05,382
"Uh-oh"? There ain't supposed to
be no "uh-oh" when you doin' my 'do!
103
00:07:07,384 --> 00:07:11,358
Oh! What the ... ain't no ho
gonna want to be my bottom bitch
104
00:07:11,393 --> 00:07:13,004
- with my hair looking like this!
- What ho is gonna
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00:07:13,082 --> 00:07:16,157
bottom-bitch for a fisher-price
pimp like you in the firstplace, huh?
106
00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:18,593
Oh! First, you gonna take my
hair, now you gonna take my pimp juice?
107
00:07:18,595 --> 00:07:21,730
It may be small, but I got a pimp hand,
Honey Bee, and you 'bout to get
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00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,532
- bottom-bitch slapped!
- Uh-huh.
109
00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:25,384
- You want some of Honey Bee?
- Come on.
110
00:07:25,385 --> 00:07:27,235
- You want some of this?
- Say something else.
111
00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:29,638
- Say something else!
- I'm tappin' out. I'm tappin' out!
112
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,306
Black Dynamite! You're home!
113
00:07:32,308 --> 00:07:34,740
Hey, Black Dynamite!
114
00:07:35,278 --> 00:07:39,881
- Who the fuck are you?
- It's not funny!
115
00:07:39,883 --> 00:07:43,251
It's me ... Cream Corn! Honey Bee ruined my
hair, which ruined my game, which ruined my
116
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:46,387
- pimpin', which ruined my life, Black Dynamite!
- You ain't got no life,
117
00:07:46,389 --> 00:07:49,758
you Kojak, black Mr. Clean,
bowling-ball-head, half-a-pimp-lookin'
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00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,082
- motherfucka. Get out my face!
- All right, Honey Bee.
119
00:07:53,117 --> 00:07:54,413
That's enough. There's only
so many bald jokes a man can
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00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:56,731
take when his head is looking
like a damn Tootsie roll pop.
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00:07:56,733 --> 00:07:59,134
- Now, no more fighting.
- Fine. There won't be no fightin'.
122
00:07:59,136 --> 00:08:01,936
- But I'm thinkin' 'bout pressin' full charges.
- Now, y'all pull it together.
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00:08:01,938 --> 00:08:04,472
Let's go see what's
going down at the community drug-free,
124
00:08:04,474 --> 00:08:07,041
- drug-sponsored block fair.
- I can't go nowhere with my
125
00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:09,077
hair lookin' like this! Everybody
gonna laugh at me, Black Dynamite!
126
00:08:09,079 --> 00:08:12,613
I know looking like a bald, black
Daddy Warbucks done got you down and filled
127
00:08:12,615 --> 00:08:16,317
with sorrow, but like little Annie said,
"that sun'll come out tomorrow."
128
00:08:20,513 --> 00:08:24,458
What's in it for me?
What's in it for me-e-e-e-e?!
129
00:08:35,112 --> 00:08:37,405
Oh. Looks like we got
some serious customers. Excuse me
130
00:08:37,407 --> 00:08:41,943
while I attend to all their white
drug-consumption needs, my dear chaps.
131
00:08:45,839 --> 00:08:48,649
There's a new sheriff in town, baby,
and his name is the King.
132
00:08:48,651 --> 00:08:52,653
Now, I suggest you stop selling your black drugs
to the white community and keep them in your
133
00:08:52,655 --> 00:08:56,424
ghettos, where they belong, or you and your
brothers are gonna be in a world of pain!
134
00:08:56,426 --> 00:08:59,593
Hi, king. The name is Tasty Freeze.
How 'bout if I give you a little
135
00:08:59,595 --> 00:09:03,731
courtesy bag of smack so you and your hillbilly
friends here can go get rehigh in your own
136
00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:07,768
community somewhere and you can let us get
back to enjoying our drug-free block fair?
137
00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:11,739
Uh, what you say?
138
00:09:11,741 --> 00:09:14,976
Now, get up against
that there wall and spread your legs,
139
00:09:14,978 --> 00:09:18,512
Tasty Freeze. We're tearin' this place apart.
Lift the nuts and check the ass
140
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:22,650
of every last man, woman, and child
until we confiscate all the damn drugs.
141
00:09:22,652 --> 00:09:26,020
The President wants us to destroy
everything that was gotten with ill gottens,
142
00:09:26,022 --> 00:09:29,523
so start breakin', burnin', and generally
messin' up shit real, real, real bad.
143
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:34,462
Damn, King! Why your hands so cold?
Black Dynamite!
144
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:39,067
Elvis got tasty by the balls ...
literally by the balls!
145
00:09:39,069 --> 00:09:41,947
Elvis Presley, who you think you
are, showing up in the black community,
146
00:09:42,026 --> 00:09:45,073
- unannounced, frisking black ball sacs?
- Looky here, now. I'm on a mission from the
147
00:09:45,075 --> 00:09:47,292
President of these here white United States
148
00:09:47,293 --> 00:09:49,510
to kick ass and bust heads to the black meat
149
00:09:49,512 --> 00:09:51,780
until I stop your negro community from
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00:09:51,781 --> 00:09:54,048
spreading your black drugs across America,
151
00:09:54,050 --> 00:09:56,191
Causing an epidemic.
Now, this ain't about race.
152
00:09:56,293 --> 00:09:59,057
The black community has
had drugs of epidemic proportions
153
00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:01,822
for years, and ain't nobody
ever sent no Elvis Presley.
154
00:10:01,857 --> 00:10:03,912
Well, if y'all had kept
getting high on your own supply,
155
00:10:03,947 --> 00:10:06,405
this wouldn't be happening right now.
Now, drop your drawers, big fella,
156
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,863
'cause once I'm done searching these two
balls, you and baldy-locks' nuts are next.
157
00:10:08,865 --> 00:10:12,367
Elvis, now, don't let Tricky
Dicky make you get your ass whupped.
158
00:10:12,369 --> 00:10:15,836
Now, take off that badge and gun, and I won't
be cruel. Keep it on, and it's back to my
159
00:10:15,838 --> 00:10:18,806
- regular ass-kicking schedule.
- Bring it on! Bring it on, baby!
160
00:10:18,808 --> 00:10:22,873
If you got to pinch a loaf,
hold your turd cutter tight,
161
00:10:22,908 --> 00:10:27,415
'cause if you move your log shooter,
you gonna miss the whole fight, 'cause Elvis is
162
00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:30,306
about to get his ass
whupped by Black Dynamite!
163
00:10:30,341 --> 00:10:32,467
I don't think your
boy know what he gettin' into.
164
00:10:32,556 --> 00:10:37,558
Well, then, maybe Black Dynamite better
smack some sense into him.
165
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,461
All right, Darkie Dynamite. You're
in for a world of hurtin', baby. Whoo!
166
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,804
You had enough, Pelvis?
You like that, Pelvis?
167
00:10:49,806 --> 00:10:52,407
Actually, that's one of my nicknames.
168
00:10:52,409 --> 00:10:54,142
Why you Hitting yourself? Huh?
Why you hitting yourself?
169
00:10:54,144 --> 00:10:57,645
- Man, look at you.
- You... can't... do... this... to... me!
170
00:10:57,647 --> 00:11:00,160
- I'm the king!
- No, you were the king.
171
00:11:00,195 --> 00:11:02,984
Now you're a fat,
distorted parody of the cool and sexy
172
00:11:02,986 --> 00:11:06,620
motherfucka you used to be. You sold out
the people that gave you everything that made
173
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:09,590
you "you", and you got into bed with
the man. Now, if that's not the least
174
00:11:09,592 --> 00:11:12,460
rock-'n'-roll thing a shit
could do, I don't know what is.
175
00:11:12,462 --> 00:11:16,364
Maybe that's why...
you... are... hitting... yourself.
176
00:11:27,799 --> 00:11:33,781
Okay. All right. All right. I don't...
want to... search... no... more... black... ball... sacs...
177
00:11:33,783 --> 00:11:38,152
Black Dynamite. Oh, Black Dynamite
and the black community in general, please!
178
00:11:38,154 --> 00:11:42,246
Please forgive me, for I have sinned.
Have mercy, if you will, on my soulless body.
179
00:11:42,281 --> 00:11:44,888
Black Dynamite ain't
falling for that old okie-doke.
180
00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:47,346
No, this ain't no trick, Black Dynamite.
Your thorough
181
00:11:47,381 --> 00:11:50,231
ass-whuppin' has shown me the light and
the dark. I realize now that I've been
182
00:11:50,233 --> 00:11:53,167
nothing but an ignorant soul-stealing,
fat-ass, redneck drug addict.
183
00:11:53,169 --> 00:11:56,304
May all of the black ball sacs forgive me,
Black Dynamite! Black-allelujah!
184
00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:59,607
Okay, well, now that Black Dynamite
has baptized you with your own fist,
185
00:11:59,609 --> 00:12:03,110
you need to go spread the gospel to Tricky Dicky
and the rest of them honkies that put you
186
00:12:03,112 --> 00:12:06,130
- up to this. Now get the fuck off.
- Now, hold on one second, Black Dynamite.
187
00:12:06,199 --> 00:12:08,583
And I would like to stay and
help mend what I have broken.
188
00:12:08,585 --> 00:12:11,919
After all, I have built my career ripping
off the black man's blues and his rhythms.
189
00:12:11,921 --> 00:12:15,723
The least I can do is spend the rest of my
days giving back, because the truth is...
190
00:12:15,725 --> 00:12:17,676
♪ I'm all fucked up
mm-hmm ♪
191
00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:21,551
♪ Well, I'm a mess with no soul
what's wrong with me? ♪
192
00:12:21,586 --> 00:12:24,606
# A pill-popping slob,
and I'm as fat as can be #
193
00:12:24,641 --> 00:12:27,768
# I stole rock 'n' roll
from the blacks, you see #
194
00:12:27,770 --> 00:12:29,437
♪ I'm on drugs ♪
195
00:12:29,438 --> 00:12:32,773
♪ I'm all fucked up,
mm-hmm ♪
196
00:12:32,775 --> 00:12:35,310
♪ hmm,
yeah, yeah ♪
197
00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:40,482
♪ My moves and my songs,
yes, I copied 'em all ♪
198
00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:43,332
♪ I'm hangin' all over
Chuck Berry's balls ♪
199
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:46,320
♪ I wouldn't be shittin'
if it wasn't for y'all ♪
200
00:12:46,322 --> 00:12:47,989
♪ I'm on drugs ♪
201
00:12:47,990 --> 00:12:51,325
♪ I'm all fucked up,
mm-hmm ♪
202
00:12:51,327 --> 00:12:54,562
♪ hmm,
yeah, yeah. ♪
203
00:12:56,612 --> 00:12:59,223
♪ It's clear to see that
I was out of my mind ♪
204
00:12:59,224 --> 00:13:02,069
♪ friskin' black ball
sacs and tasty's behind ♪
205
00:13:02,071 --> 00:13:04,992
♪ and then my savior,
Black Dynamite ♪
206
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:08,320
♪ he whupped my ass,
and he showed me the light. ♪
207
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:11,078
♪ He took my hand and
made me smack myself ♪
208
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,860
♪ I lost control of my bowels,
and the pills didn't help ♪
209
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:17,585
♪ I knew at that moment
I'd had enough ♪
210
00:13:17,586 --> 00:13:18,952
♪ I'm on drugs ♪
211
00:13:18,953 --> 00:13:21,685
♪ I'm all fucked up,
mm-hmm ♪
212
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,027
Step to the side, Roscoe, and let
the king show you how it's done.
213
00:13:24,062 --> 00:13:26,593
- What you got there, king?
- This here, Roscoe, is what I like to call
214
00:13:26,595 --> 00:13:30,097
my peanut butter, bacon, pancake
batter, butter, and banana sandwich.
215
00:13:30,099 --> 00:13:33,533
I know you didn't get that shit from
no black folks. That is definitely not it.
216
00:13:33,535 --> 00:13:37,237
I'd like to dedicate this sandwich to the
black community. May its delicious, creamy
217
00:13:37,239 --> 00:13:40,373
goodness be an inspiration to all the
good works we will achieve together.
218
00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:43,310
Long live the king!
Long live the king!
219
00:13:43,312 --> 00:13:47,080
Long live the king!
Long live the king!
220
00:13:47,082 --> 00:13:49,850
- Uh-oh.
- Knock on wood!
221
00:13:49,852 --> 00:13:53,586
Knock on wood! Damn it!
I knew I should have knocked on wood!
222
00:13:53,588 --> 00:13:58,091
Ooooh! They done killed
Elvis Presley. Oh, I'm-a tell it!
223
00:13:58,093 --> 00:14:01,683
And even if they didn't,
I would almost say they did.
224
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,097
Don't you die on me!
You got everything to live for! {*2*}
225
00:14:07,099 --> 00:14:10,033
- Yeah, like a new little bald-headed bitch.
- I'm tellin' you!
226
00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:11,737
- I'm-a pimp-slap your bottom ass!
- Come on, y'all.
227
00:14:11,804 --> 00:14:14,105
We got bigger problems here than
bald-headed bitches loving Elvis.
228
00:14:14,107 --> 00:14:17,909
Having Elvis die in the black community gives
Nixon a reason to drop the big one on us.
229
00:14:17,911 --> 00:14:20,496
Oh-ho, no! Not the big one!
230
00:14:20,554 --> 00:14:24,715
The big one is comin'!
I tell you, not that! Unh-unh!
231
00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:27,218
- What's the big one?
- The N-bomb.
232
00:14:27,219 --> 00:14:29,941
The N-bomb?
You mean nuclear?
233
00:14:29,942 --> 00:14:31,522
- Worse.
- Neutron?
234
00:14:31,524 --> 00:14:34,079
Worser than that. The real N-bomb ...
235
00:14:34,121 --> 00:14:36,693
- the one you can't say on TV.
- That really exists?
236
00:14:36,695 --> 00:14:39,596
I thought that was some jive brothers
was just kickin' at the barbershop.
237
00:14:39,598 --> 00:14:41,933
Oh, no, Cream Corn.
The N-bomb is real.
238
00:14:41,935 --> 00:14:46,537
When I was working for the C.I.A.,
I seen it with my own eyes.
239
00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:50,908
And if they drop it on us...
240
00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:55,303
of course, Black Dynamite will survive,
but the rest of y'all can kiss your
241
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:58,649
- black community asses goodbye.
- All we need to do is make it look like Elvis
242
00:14:58,651 --> 00:15:01,919
decided to quit being a cop and get his fat
ass across the black community city lines
243
00:15:01,921 --> 00:15:04,588
and back to Graceland. Then,
it will look like he decided to die there.
244
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:07,891
Honey Bee, I was about to say
"you took the words right out of my mouth,"
245
00:15:07,893 --> 00:15:09,937
but I knew there was nothing
in there. Now, that sounds
246
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:13,816
like a Black Dynamite plan if
I ever said one. Now, let's go.
247
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:19,254
Kissinger, has that fat, pill-popping
piece of shit died at the hands
248
00:15:19,358 --> 00:15:24,675
- of those chocos yet?
- No, Mr. President. He's still alive, sir.
249
00:15:24,877 --> 00:15:27,711
What the...?
How the hell did you get in here?
250
00:15:27,713 --> 00:15:31,282
I'm a Basehead.
I can get in anywhere. Watch this.
251
00:15:31,584 --> 00:15:35,386
- Poof!
- Okay. I get it. You're a magical negro.
252
00:15:35,388 --> 00:15:37,334
I have three wishes, do I?
The first wish ...
253
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:41,741
Nah, man. I'm a stereotypical
basehead from the community,
254
00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:44,362
and I'm here to tell you
that Elvis Presley is dead
255
00:15:44,364 --> 00:15:49,500
- and Black Dynamite is trying to cover it up.
- Are you sure about this?
256
00:15:49,502 --> 00:15:52,470
Yup, 'cause he done killed Elvis.
Elvis is gone.
257
00:15:52,472 --> 00:15:56,671
Kissinger, prepare the N-bomb.
If I can prove that the black community
258
00:15:56,706 --> 00:16:01,078
killed Elvis, I can finally get
rid of Black Dynamite once and for all!
259
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:05,377
Come on, citizen Basehead.
Lead me to the king's corpse.
260
00:16:05,439 --> 00:16:07,778
But you know you better
261
00:16:07,779 --> 00:16:11,288
put some base in these hands,
or there's gonna be problems.
262
00:16:13,326 --> 00:16:16,310
We made it outside
the black community city limits.
263
00:16:16,312 --> 00:16:18,733
We almost home free.
264
00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:20,675
Oh, my goodness!
Dead Elvis just let out a thunder dumpling!
265
00:16:20,676 --> 00:16:23,134
Oh, excuse me.
I think that might have been me, Cream Corn.
266
00:16:23,135 --> 00:16:24,485
Say what?!
Damn, woman.
267
00:16:24,487 --> 00:16:27,288
It's not my fault.
It was Elvis' peanut butter, bacon,
268
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,358
pancake batter, butter, and
banana sandwiches. Yeah, I ate it.
269
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,461
Well, we need to find a gas
station or somethin', Black Dynamite, 'cause that
270
00:16:33,463 --> 00:16:35,463
wasn't no fart. That was a "shart".
She shit that fart.
271
00:16:35,465 --> 00:16:38,299
We can't, Cream Corn.
We got to get dead Elvis back to
272
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:39,647
Graceland quick, fast,
and in a hur...
273
00:16:39,724 --> 00:16:42,269
oh, d...
oh fuckin' damn, Honey Bee!
274
00:16:50,703 --> 00:16:55,849
Man, them rednecks look
like they ain't lynched a negro all day.
275
00:16:55,851 --> 00:17:00,254
I wish I was pumpin' the gas
so you could go over there and pay.
276
00:17:02,474 --> 00:17:04,458
Look what
you did to my damn head!
277
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:09,363
Well, screw you, too!
You've always been jealous of my hair!
278
00:17:09,365 --> 00:17:11,765
Come on, puny pimp!
Come on, p-p-puny pimp!
279
00:17:11,767 --> 00:17:13,867
You gon' get your ass whupped aga...
280
00:17:13,869 --> 00:17:18,005
- What was that?
- Now, the next one ain't goin' in the air.
281
00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:21,675
We know that's the king's car,
so where's the king?
282
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,582
There.
You rednecks have your king.
283
00:17:28,584 --> 00:17:31,059
Now, let us go so we can
get him back to Graceland.
284
00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:34,008
I don't know, bubba.
The king looks a little strange to me.
285
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,932
You all tryin' to pull a fast
one on us just 'cause we are
286
00:17:36,993 --> 00:17:41,495
a bunch of dumbass rednecks,
huh? If that's Elvis, prove it.
287
00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,865
Hah! Whoo!
Work it out, baby!
288
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:50,371
Get it! Unh!
289
00:17:54,843 --> 00:17:59,613
- Bubba, I think these colored fellas
done killed our king. - Get 'em!
290
00:17:59,615 --> 00:18:01,785
Oh, hell no!
Go, go, go, go, go!
291
00:18:06,491 --> 00:18:08,082
They're commin'!
292
00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:15,496
I got a 8675309! Some negroes
are trying to kidnap the king of
293
00:18:15,498 --> 00:18:18,932
- rock 'n' roll! And I'm in hot pursuit!
- Mr. Kissinger, is there any way
294
00:18:18,934 --> 00:18:21,935
we can drop this N-bomb before 1:00?
They're showing the continuation
295
00:18:21,937 --> 00:18:25,306
of "good times" today, and I need to see
if Penny falls down the elevator shaft.
296
00:18:25,308 --> 00:18:27,550
That show is hilarious.
297
00:18:27,551 --> 00:18:30,715
No "Good times" until
we know we got Elvis' body.
298
00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:43,357
Whoo-hoo!
299
00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,025
What was that?
300
00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:54,968
You think you can outrun me,
you black bastard?!
301
00:18:55,065 --> 00:18:56,228
It's Tricky dick!
302
00:18:56,229 --> 00:18:59,717
All I wanted was a little bit
of drugs in the community, but no!
303
00:18:59,752 --> 00:19:02,376
You brought this on
yourself, Black Dynamite!
304
00:19:02,378 --> 00:19:05,024
Damn it! Basehead
dropped dime on us!
305
00:19:05,025 --> 00:19:09,516
Hurry up!
They're catching up on us!
306
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,215
Base!
How low could you go?
307
00:19:17,376 --> 00:19:21,028
Damn it!
308
00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:24,232
You can't kill a Basehead!
309
00:19:30,283 --> 00:19:33,394
Honey Bee! If we don't make
it out of here, I want you to
310
00:19:33,395 --> 00:19:36,505
know somethin'. Even though
you fucked up my hair and ruined
311
00:19:36,506 --> 00:19:39,980
my life, true friendship is more
important than any amount of hair ...
312
00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:42,362
no matter how silky the perm is.
And don't you worry ...
313
00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:45,136
I ain't gonna press no
charges on you, girl.
314
00:19:45,171 --> 00:19:47,304
Oh, I know you wasn't,
'cause I would have whupped your ass.
315
00:19:47,339 --> 00:19:50,257
But I am sorry for making you
bald-headed and causing you to
316
00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:53,994
look more fucked up than
you already did. Oh, hug me.
317
00:19:53,996 --> 00:19:59,272
Oh! Hey! I got an idea! I know y'all
negroes got some Afro Sheen! Give it here!
318
00:19:59,307 --> 00:20:01,868
Honey Bee,
this ain't no time for cruel jokes!
319
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:05,592
Now, why the hell you sprayin' my
bald head with Afro Sheen?!
320
00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:12,510
There ain't nothin' that
some good black folks can't
321
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,815
do if they put their minds
and their Afro Sheens together.
322
00:20:14,817 --> 00:20:17,685
Cream Corn, your hair ain't
never did shit for us,
323
00:20:17,686 --> 00:20:20,554
but your bald head just saved
our lives. Can you dig it?
324
00:20:25,192 --> 00:20:26,852
Come on, y'all!
Hurry up!
325
00:20:26,853 --> 00:20:28,513
Ok and now what
do we do with his fat ass?
326
00:20:28,514 --> 00:20:30,764
There's only one
place a king can croak when he's
327
00:20:30,766 --> 00:20:34,335
alone, and that's on his
mothafuckin' porcelain throne!
328
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:44,660
Surprise, darknesses! Even though you
got Elvis back to Graceland, I still
329
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:50,050
got you for breaking in and killing Elvis
Presley. Operation Ghetto Blaster was
330
00:20:50,052 --> 00:20:53,420
a success! Maybe not the way
I envisioned it, but whatever.
331
00:20:53,422 --> 00:20:57,225
Kissinger! I got the body!
Start the countdown for the N-bomb.
332
00:20:57,260 --> 00:21:01,145
Well, I guess this is as close as I'm
gonna get to going out in a blaze of glory,
333
00:21:01,146 --> 00:21:05,031
so if this is the way Black Dynamite is
meant to end, squeeze the trigger, mothafucka!
334
00:21:16,554 --> 00:21:19,346
Honey Bee, now ain't the time for
you to be opening up your ass again.
335
00:21:19,348 --> 00:21:23,584
- That ain't my ass opening this time.
- Well, Mr. President, what an
336
00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:26,353
honor having you here at Graceland.
337
00:21:26,355 --> 00:21:28,523
Why are you and these
strange colored folk
338
00:21:28,524 --> 00:21:30,691
holding guns on each
other in my master bedroom?
339
00:21:30,693 --> 00:21:35,729
Fuck! Stop the countdown, Kissinger.
The fat shit is alive.
340
00:21:35,731 --> 00:21:38,499
My goodness. I must have missed something.
Once in a while, I pass out for
341
00:21:38,501 --> 00:21:40,801
a couple days and shit wake myself.
One of these days, I'm gonna
342
00:21:40,803 --> 00:21:42,936
fuck around and shit wake
myself to death.
343
00:21:42,938 --> 00:21:48,576
Here ... you want a polytheondothlicced
acillathondasondaexofolicsedadstadene?
344
00:21:48,628 --> 00:21:53,295
Long live your king, Tricky Dick.
Long live your king.
345
00:21:56,428 --> 00:22:00,762
Damn! Damn!
Damn!!
346
00:22:00,897 --> 00:22:01,715
Poof!
33994
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