All language subtitles for The L Word (2004) S04E03 Lassoed.en

Previously on The L Word.

- This is Max Sweeney.
- It's nice to meet you.

That's sweet.

Well, let me teach you how to be bad.

You get to stay.

I need you to do one last thing for me.

He sent you to fire me?

It was a power trip. He's a scumbag.

I've never had an abortion.
It must be really hard.

...but I feel so sad for Angus.

Kit, you can be sad for yourself, too.

You're Papi?

Actually, it's pronounced Papi.

I can make a woman come
just by kissing her.

- Where did you think you were gonna go?
- Home.

I'm your home now, okay?

It's illegal to keep a child out of school.

Well, let them arrest me.

You pick a TA yet?

Nadia, Nadia Karella.

You're the most glamorous dean
they've had in years.

We call her Heads Will Roll Kroll
because she fires at least one dean a year.

- I think I'm a lesbian, Bette.
- Oh.

I only choose books to review
that hold significance to me.

Why does Some Of Her Parts
hold significance to you?

My partner's a survivor.

"...self-indulgent, and self-pitying"?

Fuck you, Stacey Merkin!

Fuck you!

Stacey!

Stacey!

Ooh! This is the one.

Association of American Universities
digital technology conference.

Yeah, why don't you just
take that with you?

I mean,
just find out who took part in media lab

and make me a list with the bios
and contact information, okay?

Do you have a knot?
Do you want me to unlock it?

It's okay. No, really, it's fine.

Oh, wow, you are really tight.

God, do you feel that?

- Nadia, please...
- It's right there.

Do you want me
to find you a body worker?

Because, oh my gosh,
I have the most amazing a yur vedic healer,

- and he went so deep...
- I... I'd prefer a woman.

Well, that can be arranged, Dean Porter.

Actually, I'm fine, Nadia.

I just...

I just need to find out
what conferences CU has hosted.

I know that we did
the global sustainability last August...

Where Dr. Gorsham
sustained multiple hickeys

from his two teaching assistants.

- You mean he slept with both of them? -
Don't be shocked. It happens all the time.

- Well, that doesn't make it acceptable.
- No, but we're all adults, Bette.

I mean, in a cloistered environment
like a university,

it would be absurd to think
that there weren't relationships

between faculty and students.

I hadn't given it much thought,
to be honest, Nadia.

Well, I know the students
in your college have.

I know at least 20
who would love to be with you.

That's very flattering.

I hate that I'm just one of the pack.

All right, let's do this.

I am gonna need to see
some kind of paperwork.

I don't have a birth certificate.

LAUSD requires complete health
and immunization records.

Has Shay been vaccinated?

Have you been vaccinated?

- I think so.
- Do you know the name of your doctor?

- No.
- Did you go to a public clinic?

Does he have any allergies,

any learning disabilities,
psychological problems?

Do you? No, doubt it.

Listen to me. Over here.
How did he do on his Stanford-Binet.

I don't have any of this information. So...

Why don't you tell me

- what you do you know?
- I'm sorry I'm wasting your time.

- You're not wasting my time.
- Get your stuff.

My mom was proud of me
for my score on that test.

Hold on.

Mr. Petersen, look, I'm not...

Okay. I don't know that kid.
I mean, he's my half-brother, but...

But I don't know him.

You know where the parents are?

Yeah, our...

Our father bailed on him
which he also did to me.

And his mother is mentally unfit.

- You know where she is?
- No.

And before you ask, I don't know
when she'll be coming back either.

But listen, I know this.

I'm not gonna go let Shay live
in some homeless shelter

the way I did when I was a kid.

Okay, 'cause, I mean, the truth is,

he's in a nice house on Spaulding Square,

right around the corner
from this nice school.

And he needs to be here.

Do you understand?

I mean, listen, I promise you,
I'll get you whatever you need.

I swear it.

But I'm begging you.

Please just let him go to school here.

Please.

That is so fucking gross.

So I found an S. Merkin...

Tuna.

...In Van Nuys, which of course,
is where that Vagina Wig's gonna live.

So...

- Vagina Wig?
- Merkin.

- Stacey Merkin.
- Oh, right.

So, I go to the house,
and I'm standing out front,

and I'm like, "Yo, Stacey!"

"Come here and say it to my fucking face,
you fucking vagina."

And so, guess who comes down?

It's like, this little, like,
90 year-old Korean lady, that's like,

"Look what time it is! It is 4:00 in the
morning! I'm going to call the police..."

You were yelling under her balcony
at 4:00 in the morning?

I was, but did you read the review?

- Yeah.
- It was fundamentally dishonest. So?

Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah.

I mean, lesbians love to eat their own.
It's true.

And the thing is,
the Vagina's girlfriend was molested,

and now she's like this perfect saint,
which is awesome,

and, you know, I was abused,
and I'm like this fucked-up nitwit,

but that's my experience.
And that's mine,

and I don't know why she's slamming me
for my own experience, you know.

Right, I get it. I totally get it.

I'm just saying I think you should
let it go. It's a tiny magazine.

- I mean, who reads it? You know?
- I will let it go.

And didn't Elle say
something great about... What...

- "Refreshingly literate."
- "Refreshingly literate."

That's huge. That's Elle.

- Concentrate on that.
- Right. I'll let it go.

- Can I tell you something?
- What?

- I met Papi.
- No!

- What happened?
- Oh! The legend transcends.

She's, like, a walking, living,
breathing Lothario.

- And?
- And I totally fell for it.

What did you do?

- Well, you know...
- Did you fuck her? Oh, my God!

Okay, we were in the back
of this super tricked-out stretch.

- It was hot.
- Yeah.

- She was like un-fucking-believable.
- Was she good?

- Yeah, she's been with a lot of girls.
- Like Shane?

- No, more than Shane.
- Oh, my God.

Okay, to give you an example.

I wasn't sure if I should tell you,
but she was with Helena the same day.

Well, the morning
of the night after that we had...

She fucked Helena
right after she fucked you?

Your roommate? That's so rude!

- No, but that's her, that's Papi.
- Oh, my God!

Because, like, you know,
relationships and her,

they don't exist in the same universe.

- Okay.
- She doesn't know that I know.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Fucking disaster.
- Yeah.

I had three job interviews today.

Either I'm overqualified
or I have no skills whatsoever.

My CV doesn't even get me in
for a job as a receptionist.

- What's a CV?
- My résumé.

- Why are you applying...
- And the people who know me

won't even believe that I'm destitute.

Well, why are you applying
for a job as a receptionist?

I would pretty much do any job right now

that doesn't involve sex
or touching insects.

Otherwise, I'm gonna be stuck here
with Alice in her sweet little one bedroom.

Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up,
the one bedroom.

I... We never had that roommate rule talk.

- I'm gonna go.
- No!

I'll give you mine. I'll start with me.

Okay, like I feel like this would be
your boundary of your space,

so anything in your space
you're responsible for,

and then this would be, you know,
my space.

And anything in my space is mine.

Which includes my office space, which
I'll kind of show you where that starts.

This is my office space. My work space.

And I'm tidy.

I'm a tidy person
and I like to keep this tidy.

But then we have, you know...

The kitchen would be our space,
kind of spaces,

and then I feel like the untidy person
should abide by the tidy person's rules.

So, did you...

Did you have any?

Just that my Pratesi sheets...

Don't put in the washing machine
because they...

We'll talk about that. Sheets.

Hello?

Hey, Bette.

What about
Henry and Tina's cocktail party?

Tina and Henry's cocktail party?

No, I don't believe I was invited.

Well, it's not your fault, Alice.

Oh, my God, that sounds awful.

She did not say, "A mixer for our gay
and our straight friends."

Well, I hope you're still coming
to The Planet tonight.

Kit is so excited
about this new event planner.

Apparently, they do these crazy,
hot women's parties.

Oh, Alice, I gotta go.

Yes. So, I'll see you tonight?

Great. See you later then. Bye.

Phyllis.

I thought you'd like to know
the committee approved your budget

to start researching the cost
of creating that media lab.

So you're telling me that I have a budget
to develop a budget?

Welcome to academia.

Oh, did you hear that Jodi Lerner
requested to come a week late?

I couldn't say no.
She's been short-listed for the Rome Prize.

Bette, did you just say something
about a crazy, hot women's party?

Yeah. My sister, Kit,
she owns The Planet in West Hollywood.

They're doing this party
called Rancho Notorious.

And it's all women?

Only Thursdays.
Thursday is girls' night at The Planet.

Would it be too much of an imposition
if I asked to join you?

Tina's on the phone for you.

I'll come back later for the details.

Tina, hey.

A party? Really?

No, that sounds interesting.

Did Alice put you up to this?

You didn't know whether not to invite me
when you invited all of my friends?

Well, we have a child together, Tina.

I mean, we're gonna have to learn
how to get along.

Fuck. You know something?

You know, you've made
quite a scene or two in your time too.

So don't get on your high...

No, okay,
I don't wanna fight with you either.

I'm just making a point that...

That I've moved on, I've found closure,
and there's nothing between us anymore

that would cause me
to want to make a scene.

You know?

Well, thank you for the invitation.
I appreciate it.

Yes, but I'm going to decline.

Yeah, some other time.

Bye.

You have outdone yourself this time.

Oh, honey, look at this place.
It's fantastic.

- You like it?
- Do I like it?

Mindy and I are gonna have
a bloody shootout at the end of the night.

Well, of course you are.

Oh, here he is.

Meet Angus, my boyfriend.

Say howdy to Mindy and Rochelle.

Howdy, little ladies.
I'm not just your boyfriend.

I'm your
just-been-offered-$100,000-record-deal-

with-Thrill-City-Records boyfriend!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Congratulations, guys.

So this is the air filter.

You just take it out. Check it out.

Can you grab the new one over there?

- Do you wanna put it in?
- Sure.

Okay, all right. Good job.

- We just snap that back.
- Hey, Shay.

- Ready to go to Tina and Henry's?
- Will there be kids there?

Well, Angelica will be there.

And, you know,
they might have a movie for you to watch.

He could stay here with me if he wants.

I mean,
I'm just gonna be working on the car.

Maybe later we could
go get some burgers or something.

- Yeah!
- Really?

Yeah.

Okay, well, that...

Wait, that means you're not going
to Tina and Henry's.

I wasn't invited.

It's cool. I mean,
I don't even really know Tina that well.

And, I'd rather not
have to deal anyway. So...

Well, are you okay with that, Shay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Well, thank you very much.
- Sure.

I appreciate it.

I'll see you later.

Which one is Tina's ex?

She couldn't make it.

Thank God.

So, even the beautiful one over there?

Yes, Brad. Give it up.
They're all lesbians.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Wow. Who is that?

This is a surprise.

Hi.

Yeah, I changed my mind.

- Hello, Henry.
- Hi.

- So where is my baby girl?
- She's asleep.

Watch out! There's gonna be a crash!

- I'll get more.
- Okay. Thanks.

This is nice.

It kind of reminds me
of your apartment on Doheny.

Yeah, it's fine.

I'd remodel it, but I don't live here.

Yet.

Hey.

Thank God you're here.
We're totally outnumbered.

- What do you mean?
- Straight people.

Oh, Jesus.

Hi.

Bette.

- Jenny.
- Hello.

Hello.

What do you say we move
into a big place like this someday?

I say not until your first check clears,
and then mine.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good. And you?

- I'm glad you came.
- Well, of course, of course.

I didn't think anyone was gonna come.

- Oh, no, no, no.
- Do you want some food?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.

Kelly and...

- Alison.
- Alison? Yes.

- This is my friend Shane.
- Hi.

- Do you want a beer?
- I would love one, thank you.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.

That's such a great name. Shane.

Oh, thank you.

It's perfect for you.

Oh, well, thank you, I guess.

Good, glad to know that.

But I'm gonna go find Tina for that drink.
So, see you in a bit.

- Okay.
- See you around.

All right, you guys, grace period's up.
I'm going in.

Good luck.

Shane! Oh, my God!

Oh, thank you!

I am gonna be the best receptionist
you have ever had.

Okay, good, listen. But I'm warning you.
It's a shit job.

- I don't care.
- But it's yours if you want it.

- I want it.
- Okay, good, you got it.

Your daughter is adorable.

Thank you.

What would you do if one day she decided
she wanted to live with her father?

We don't call him the father.
We call him the donor.

I really don't think that's gonna happen.

Sorry, excuse me.
I know you don't want it to happen,

but, you know,
kids have minds of their own, and...

I mean, I'm sure your parents would
rather you weren't a lesbian, you know?

My parents are dead.

- Bette...
- Brad...

Look, I'm not a homophobe,
you know what I'm saying? But...

Look, if my son came home
and he told me that he was gay,

I mean, I'm sure I would come around to it.

But you know,
at first there would be a reaction.

And, I'm sorry,
I'm just trying to be honest here.

An honest homophobe. How nice.

- You know, Bette, don't get into it.
- No, I...

I understand, Brad.
I mean, you find gay sex repulsive,

and you don't care
about your son's personal happiness

as much as you do your own comfort level.

Right?

You know, personally,

I'm all for it, between women.

It's just that, the idea of two guys...

Well, you understand, right?

It's not that bad, actually.

Come again, dude?

That whole dick-in-ass thing.

I used to think it was a little creepy
and painful, too.

But I found this great lube,
it's called Boy Butter.

Once I discovered that, it was like...

Let's get this party started, you know?

I love him.

He loves you too.

I gotta get back to The Planet.

Come on, Butter Boy,
let's slide on out of here.

I have an idea.

Game of celebrity?

You have a couple of extra spots
on the guest list?

My boys are coming down to celebrate
our impeding super mega stardom.

- Of course! Thrill City.
- Here we come.

Phyllis, you can do this.

Hey, beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?

Oh, I'm not quite ready for a drink yet.

- Go? Okay. Here we go.
- Okay, ready?

We won already. This is so easy. Okay.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

- Actress, she was in I Heart Huckabees.
- Naomi Watts.

No. But funnier.

She was in Nine to Five.

Oh, I know, I know, what's her name?

- What's her name?
- Major dyke, major dyke.

She came out big time in 2000.
I mean, we already knew, but...

- Come on, Big Business.
- Dyke...

Big Business.

- Sorry guys, time's up.
- Who is it?

Lily Tomlin!

Lily Tomlin is not a lesbian. Is she?

Brad.

He was on the verge of getting it.

The gay clue threw him off.

- Yeah. Wow.
- Really?

Okay, who's next? Shane.

- What?
- Try me.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Okay, Le Tigre, and Julie Ruin.

- Bikini Kill.
- Oh, easy.

- I know it.
- Thank you.

It's so easy.

One more time.

Kathleen Hanna.

What is she a celebrity for?

Oh, she just pretty much started
the whole riot grrrl music scene, but hey.

What's the riot grrrl music scene?

Okay. Who's next?

My turn, my turn.

Oh, I don't...
I don't know who Terrell Owens is.

What?

Football player.

Do you? Shane?

He's the most talented
receiver in football.

And he appeared with
a Desperate Housewife in a commercial.

- She dropped her towel.
- Okay.

The desperate... What?

This is excruciating.

I would love to get out of here.

- Let's go. Let's just go, okay?
- I'll do another one.

- Let's play. Who wants to choose next?
- It's kind of late though.

Okay, do you want to...

Shane? Shane, what time is it?

- It is late, isn't it?
- It is.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies.

Oh, God,
thank God for my little lesbian planet.

Oh, my God, that's Papi.

- Hey.
- Hey chicas, what's up?

There is Shane. Shane!

Shane?

Oh, this ought to be interesting.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

- Kit saved us a table in the back.
- Oh, good.

You're Shane?

- Yeah.
- You're just a skinny little white girl.

Yeah, I guess I am.

Shane?

- What?
- This is Papi.

Who?

Papi.

So what?

So, I'm your competition.

Oh, okay.

Well, you know, I don't know
exactly what we're competing for,

but you win.

So, it was nice to meet you.

I'm gonna go sit with Bette.
You gonna come?

- Yeah.
- I'll buy you a drink.

Okay.

Okay.

- I missed that reading.
- Oh, yeah. It was last week.

Anyway, the book is really awful.

- Have you read it?
- No, but the review in Cur ve magazine?

Some of Her Parts makes me ashamed
to even call myself a lesbian.

I feel like I don't even really know
how to talk to women anymore.

You just have to be patient, Helena.
I mean, you're reinventing yourself.

- That's big.
- Oh, boy.

- Hello.
- Hey.

Are you okay?

Shit, shit, shit.
I cannot believe she actually came.

- Who?
- What?

Who? What?
Did you sleep with someone?

No, not in this century. Okay,
girls, girls. Okay, here's the deal.

Phyllis Kroll, executive vice chancellor
of California University,

very accomplished, very dignified,
very much my boss,

I repeat, very much my boss.
She's been married 25 years

and is now, at this relatively late date,
is convinced she's a lesbian

and is peeking out of the closet
as we speak.

So please, please, please be nice
to her and try to talk to her

and try not to make her feel

like she's the oldest fucking lesbian
on the planet.

Phyllis, hi. It's good to see you.

I've been here for a while.
I'm just kind of hiding out in the back.

Well, you are now among friends.

- This is Shane McCutcheon.
- Hi, Shane.

- How are you doing?
- This is Alice Pieszecki.

- Hello, Phyllis.
- Alice.

And Helena Peabody.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Helena.

- Why don't you join us?
- Yeah, I'd love to.

Yeah.

I hate to say it, man,
but the A&R guy called back.

The thing is, dude, they need
a hot, young singer to sell records.

- Yeah.
- I mean, it's not like it's anything new.

So, you wouldn't be actually in the band.

They said they've already got
a guy lined up for us.

And you'll totally still get, like,
songwriting credit.

- Oh, no, you're not serious.
- It's out of our control, Kit.

Do you know how long
we've been waiting for this?

Angus.

How long you've been waiting?

You candy-ass piece of shit, you.

You'd be nothing without Angus. Nothing.

You must be
out of your motherfucking mind!

You must be fucking crazy!

Get the fuck out of here. Go on!
Get out of here!

She's the one that ought to be ashamed
to call herself a lesbian.

What I find so utterly specious

is the assertion she made
about her own lady friend.

I know, I mean, Saint Lindsey?
Why is she the pantheon of honesty?

It's pathetic, writing about
her own girlfriend in the review.

The fact that she compared the two of you
is proof enough of her stupidity.

I know. Thank you.
I mean, the whole thing was,

I wasn't writing about
all survivors' stories.

I was just writing about my story
and my experience.

It's a shame you can't do what I did
when I got my first bad review.

- Oh, Phyllis. You never got a bad review.
- I did so, with my second book.

The reviewer from
the Journal of Education and Policy

absolutely ridiculed my premise.

So with a wicked rebuttal,
I dismantled him point by point.

He lost his job because of it.

It's too bad you can't prove
your critic was wrong

about her girlfriend's
unimpeachable integrity.

That is for sure, Jenny. I agree, Phyllis.

Totally agree.

They ain't shit without you,
and you know it.

What does it matter? So they'll suck

and I'll rot away and die,
too old to be viable as a musician.

You're the one who told me
"When you're called to do music,

- "nothing can stop you."
- Yeah, well, they just stopped me.

It's bullshit.

- You can't let...
- Listen, don't try to make me feel better,

'cause I'm just not gonna.

God, you know,
I think I just need to be alone.

Eleven.

Twelve.

Thirteen.

- Yeah?
- Hey.

Hey!

I wonder if you can do me a favor.

Fifteen. Yeah.

I'm trying to find a friend of mine,
named Lindsey,

who I went to summer camp with
in, like, 1987.

I think that she was assaulted

and she had to go to this hospital
named Cold Water Community Hospital

and I wonder whether you could
help me find her.

Well, that's not really much to go on.

But I could do a computer search
and see what I can come up with.

I'd definitively want that
because I'm writing an article

about the hospital for Salon magazine.

So, it's really important to me
that I speak to her about,

you know, her experience there.

Okay?

- What? You want me to do it now?
- If you don't mind.

Okay.

I'm really... I'm sorry, Phyllis.
This is just...

Wow. Go get them, Phyllis!

Okay.

Go ahead.

Fauvism, Dadaism, cubism,
surrealism, modernism.

We'll cover the rest next week.

- Yes?
- Even Fluxus, Dean Porter?

Yeah, falls under Dada.

So, next week, we'll discuss the ways
in which art reveals attitudes

about the culture.

Wait, you wanted me to remind you
to assign everyone topics

at the end of the session, Bette.

- I mean, Dean Porter.
- Thank you, Nadia.

So we'll do that
beginning of next session.

- I love you, Bette.
- Will you marry me?

Shut up.

Good job, Bette.
You've got them in the palm of your hand.

I wish I could do it every day.

Then your department heads
would have to do their own fundraising.

I want to thank you for last night.
I had a lovely time.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

- I especially loved Alice. She's so
vibrant. - Yeah, she's a great girl.

So, do you think she liked me?

You know how to work a credit card?

No. Actually no.

Well, I'm gonna get
bloody Marta to help you.

Okay.

Good morning, The Wax.
How may I help you?

- No! Say Wax.
- Sorry.

- Just Wax.
- Wax.

Marta?

I'm sorry.
What was that you were saying?

I need a box of Bones, reds, tunes,
some wax and grip tape.

I'm sorry,
could you just give me one more minute.

You need a box of red bones and what?

Can you just give me a moment?

Wow!

Wow! Fancy! I like this. This is good.

A whole new Bette, huh? Artsy.
A little artsy-fartsy going on here.

We have a situation, Alice.

What? Are you gonna stick me in a corner

with a dunce cap on, Principal Porter?

My boss is attracted to you.

- Really?
- Yeah.

She thinks you two
made a real connection.

She said that you made
meaningful eye contact with her.

- Is that true?
- She thinks I flirted with her?

- Alice, this isn't funny.
- No.

No, it's not. She wept in my arms
because she's been unhappy for 25 years

and now she's dying to find out
what she's been missing

and she thinks you sent her signals.

- She really thinks I sent her signals?
- Yeah.

- Really?
- Yes.

And we have to do something about it.

- We have to let her down easy.
- Okay, okay.

- Alice, it's not funny.
- No. It's not funny.

You guys, there he is. Isn't he cute?

Now, this batch
is supposed to be cheeseburgers.

- You're sure you don't mind?
- Not at all.

- I'll go get the buns.
- All right.

Hi, Max.

Hey.

I'm really glad you came.

Well, it was nice of your dad to invite me.

I invited you.

Well, then it was nice of you to invite me.

Come on, Brooke!

- I'll see you in a minute, okay?
- All right.

Oh, man.

I'll be right with you.
I'll be right with you.

Good afternoon, The... I mean, Wax.

Shane?

Gary Geller,
marketing director for Hugo Boss.

- Hi.
- I met you at Cherie Jaffe's party

last week.

You don't remember?

- I don't. I was a little...
- Yeah. Yeah, me too.

But you made quite an impression on me.

I have a proposition for you.

Max, you're working too hard.

Come on,
why don't you come use the pool?

No.

Try them on,

I'll take some snapshots and I'll send them
over to Hugo Boss himself.

Look, I appreciate that
you came down here and all,

but I'm not a model.

- It's a lucrative gig.
- Yeah, I'm sure it is but I'm just...

Sorry, I'm not interested.

Excuse me. Shay!

Hey.

How are you doing? How was school?
Do you wanna get your homework done?

Take some time, think about it.

No. But thank you, I appreciate it.

I'm sorry, Brooke. I'm really sorry.

I just...

I have this ear condition, you know?

Ever since I was on the swim team
in high school and I...

I can't go in the water.

Okay? And it really bums me out.

I shouldn't have freaked out
on you like that.

I'm really sorry.

I forgive you.

You do?

I'm crazy about you.

Donald, don't point.

Have a good evening, everyone,

and don't forget to give me your lists
for the major donors' reception by Friday.

- Long day, Bette?
- Yeah, and it's not over.

I still have to approve the artwork
for the presentation.

Phyllis.

- Alice.
- Alice.

Hello, Professor Porter.

Dean Porter, Alice. You're demoting her.

I am taking Phyllis to Murakami.

- Lesbian sushi.
- Really?

Lesbians have their own
special kind of sushi?

Oh, yeah.

Phyllis, I think that you should
order Bette out on a date.

Is this a date?

She works too hard.

Well, I can't exactly order her
to go out on a date.

No, you really can't.

But I do hope you're taking care of
your personal needs, Bette.

Academia can be so very suffocating.

Oh, yeah, she's right.

- Have a good date.
- Okay, thanks.

Phyllis!

Fuck, Alice.

You're right. It's my fault.

I've completely bollixed up the schedule.

I mean, maybe we can make...

Sure.

I'm sorry, I can't even tell
which is the foam and which is the wax.

Maybe if we can have a look at it.

Oh, you want... You want your Visa...

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

This is yours and...

Fuck! And these are yours.

And...

Hello?

That bad, huh?

I'm just not up to this, Shane.

I'm sorry.

Thanks for the opportunity, though.

You know, I...

I can guarantee that
there's something you're really good at.

I do.

But I think you just need to take the time
and figure out what it is.

Thanks.

So don't worry about this.

- It's a fucking mess, but...
- Yeah, what a mess.

Let's go lock up. Can you get my bag?

Thanks, Shay.

- Thanks, Shane.
- Of course. Don't worry about it.

All right. Grab that.

Oh, Nadia.

What are you doing here?

I seem to remember when you were
interviewing TA candidates that you said,

"If I'm working, you're working."

I finished the first set for the media lab.

God, you are really talented.

That means a lot, coming from you.

Nadia?

Where do you live?

Echo Park.

Do you need a ride?

Yeah.

- I don't wanna trouble you.
- No, it's no trouble.

I mean, it's more or less
on my way home. So...

Would it be wrong if I told you
that I can't keep my eyes off of you?

Yes.

Would it be wrong if I told you
that you are the most

intriguing person that I've ever met?

Yes.

Would it be wrong if I told you
that I have never wanted to kiss someone

more than I want to kiss you right now?

Nadia...