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1
00:00:01,311 --> 00:00:03,382
- Previously on Awkward...
2
00:00:03,382 --> 00:00:04,694
- You'’re, like,
the ultimate townie.
3
00:00:04,694 --> 00:00:06,075
- Lesley Ann Miller,
will you marry me?
4
00:00:06,075 --> 00:00:07,076
- Yes!
5
00:00:07,076 --> 00:00:08,353
You dropped out of school.
6
00:00:08,353 --> 00:00:10,596
If you want to be
a Palos Hills mom,
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00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:12,529
this is what it takes.
8
00:00:12,529 --> 00:00:13,772
- Okay.
[baby crying]
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00:00:13,772 --> 00:00:15,774
- Matty, thanks again,
for everything.
10
00:00:18,949 --> 00:00:21,021
- It was
a sweet Saturday morning
11
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,643
with my adorable boyfriend.
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00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:24,507
I should have been loving it,
but I had to admit
13
00:00:24,507 --> 00:00:27,199
that ever since
Matty and I babysat Morgan,
14
00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:28,580
I'’d been a little...
15
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:29,719
distracted.
16
00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:31,652
- Do I want
such a heavy course load?
17
00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:32,998
- Like right now.
18
00:00:32,998 --> 00:00:35,000
Why was Matty
holding my baby sister
19
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,519
in Luke'’s living room?
20
00:00:36,519 --> 00:00:38,935
Oh, my God. Did this mean
I wanted a baby?
21
00:00:38,935 --> 00:00:40,971
That'’s insane.
I'’m 19.
22
00:00:40,971 --> 00:00:42,973
It'’s probably just PMS.
23
00:00:42,973 --> 00:00:44,941
Oh, my God.
It was worse.
24
00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:46,391
I didn'’t want a baby.
25
00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:48,151
I wanted a M--
- Matty?
26
00:00:48,151 --> 00:00:49,635
- What did you say?
27
00:00:49,635 --> 00:00:51,292
- I said,
"You'’re not very chatty."
28
00:00:51,292 --> 00:00:52,328
What are you thinking?
29
00:00:52,328 --> 00:00:53,915
- What was I thinking?
30
00:00:53,915 --> 00:00:55,124
I already had a great guy.
31
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:56,504
Jeopardizing that for Matty
32
00:00:56,504 --> 00:00:58,023
was something
I would have done--
33
00:00:58,023 --> 00:01:00,784
okay--had done
in the past.
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00:01:00,784 --> 00:01:02,924
But Luke was a guy
I wanted to be with
35
00:01:02,924 --> 00:01:04,581
for the foreseeable future,
36
00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:07,860
a guy to whom I could seriously
see myself saying--
37
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:09,483
Let'’s move in together.
38
00:01:09,483 --> 00:01:11,381
I said that last part
out loud, huh?
39
00:01:11,381 --> 00:01:15,178
[keys clacking, loud thud]
40
00:01:15,178 --> 00:01:17,491
- I'’m sorry.
41
00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:19,355
Did you just
invite yourself
42
00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:21,529
to move in
to my studio apartment?
43
00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:23,013
- I can'’t believe
I just said that.
44
00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:24,429
- Because I [bleep] love
that idea.
45
00:01:24,429 --> 00:01:25,878
- Really?
You'’re not freaked out?
46
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,087
- It'’s not like we'’re
moving in together
47
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,640
moving in together.
48
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,400
It'’s just for a few weeks
until you go back to Wyckoff.
49
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,714
And, honestly, I want to spend
as much time as possible
50
00:01:33,714 --> 00:01:35,060
with you until then.
51
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,579
- [giggles]
52
00:01:36,579 --> 00:01:38,339
- Here'’s my only question--
do you think your parents
53
00:01:38,339 --> 00:01:39,720
will be cool with it?
54
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,549
- It'’ll take a little bit
of coaxing,
55
00:01:41,549 --> 00:01:43,724
but if I make my case, maybe.
56
00:01:43,724 --> 00:01:46,175
- Well, you work on them,
and I'’ll work on making
57
00:01:46,175 --> 00:01:48,625
this place a little more...
58
00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,455
girl friendly.
59
00:01:50,455 --> 00:01:54,114
- Okay, let me paint you
a picture with my words.
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00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,599
You, this dress,
brunch at Bagatelle,
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00:01:56,599 --> 00:01:59,705
shopping in Soho,
vodka at Pravda.
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00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:00,706
- Done and done-er.
63
00:02:00,706 --> 00:02:01,914
[cell phone chimes]
64
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,606
- Does this say more
"off-duty model
65
00:02:03,606 --> 00:02:06,091
on Leonardo DiCaprio'’s yacht"
or "'’Bachelor'’ contestant
66
00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:07,437
at a rose ceremony"?
67
00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:08,990
- Will you accept this "no"?
68
00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,613
[cell phone chimes]
69
00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:12,822
I should take this.
It'’s probably Patrick.
70
00:02:12,822 --> 00:02:15,065
Sometimes he calls
from an international number--
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00:02:15,065 --> 00:02:16,653
so hot.
72
00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:19,035
- Miss Kaplan, this is Pam
from Visa.
73
00:02:19,035 --> 00:02:22,211
- Oh, P!
How are you, sweetie?
74
00:02:22,211 --> 00:02:23,695
- Miss Kaplan,
you haven'’t made a payment
75
00:02:23,695 --> 00:02:25,075
on your balance,
and we'’re going to
76
00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:26,076
have to stop--
77
00:02:26,076 --> 00:02:27,147
- No, you stop!
78
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,596
I miss you.
79
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:31,012
- Miss Kaplan,
this is your final notice--
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00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:33,946
- Oh, my God,
you are so bad!
81
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:35,224
- Yes, this is a bad--
82
00:02:35,224 --> 00:02:37,364
- Got to go!
Ta-ta, my love.
83
00:02:37,364 --> 00:02:39,159
- You and Patrick
are gross.
84
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,884
- I know.
85
00:02:40,884 --> 00:02:42,472
You know what else is gross?
86
00:02:42,472 --> 00:02:47,236
This dress is way more Midtown
than Meatpacking.
87
00:02:47,236 --> 00:02:48,754
- Supplicant squats!
88
00:02:48,754 --> 00:02:52,965
Feel the burn of your sin
melting away.
89
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:55,589
Praise the Lord!
90
00:02:55,589 --> 00:02:57,453
Genuflect.
91
00:02:57,453 --> 00:02:58,833
Kick the Devil away.
92
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:00,732
Um...
93
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,944
Okay, everyone
go to the pool
94
00:03:05,944 --> 00:03:07,532
for your biceptismals.
95
00:03:07,532 --> 00:03:10,328
Wash away your sin.
Melt away your fat. Yay!
96
00:03:10,328 --> 00:03:12,502
[cheers and applause]
97
00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:14,159
Jakey.
98
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,989
Why are you sad?
- No reason.
99
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,544
- Jake, we'’ve dated, twice.
100
00:03:19,544 --> 00:03:21,373
I think I know
your pouty face.
101
00:03:21,373 --> 00:03:22,857
- I just read
Ophelia'’s interview
102
00:03:22,857 --> 00:03:24,100
with me on Idea Bin.
103
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,895
- Ophelia?
That "slunty" [bleep]?
104
00:03:25,895 --> 00:03:27,483
- This is why
I didn'’t want to say anything.
105
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:29,105
You get insane
when you'’re mad.
106
00:03:29,105 --> 00:03:31,659
The article'’s
not even that bad.
107
00:03:31,659 --> 00:03:33,937
She said I seem happy.
- That'’s not so bad.
108
00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:36,354
- She didn'’t make it sound
like I'’m genuinely happy,
109
00:03:36,354 --> 00:03:39,391
more like I'’m happy
because I'’m too dumb
110
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:41,186
to know better.
111
00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:43,947
I just feel
like a dumb townie.
112
00:03:43,947 --> 00:03:46,191
- And you said
she works at Idea Bin?
113
00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:48,089
- Lissa,
don'’t do anything crazy.
114
00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:49,367
- [scoffs]Jakey...
115
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:51,817
[giggles]
I'’m very sensible.
116
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:54,337
Have a great day.
117
00:03:54,337 --> 00:03:56,822
- So what do you guys think?
118
00:03:56,822 --> 00:03:58,583
I knew it would be hard
to convince my parents
119
00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:00,861
to let me move in with Luke,
but I was praying
120
00:04:00,861 --> 00:04:03,346
they'’d say yes,
eventually, at least.
121
00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:05,486
- Jenna...
122
00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:08,075
this is such great news!
123
00:04:08,075 --> 00:04:09,421
- For real?
- Yes!
124
00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:11,734
This is going to make everything
so much simpler.
125
00:04:11,734 --> 00:04:14,150
- This house
is way too full right now.
126
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:16,670
- There will be one fewer person
showering here every day.
127
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:19,224
- I think
this deserves a toast.
128
00:04:19,224 --> 00:04:21,640
- I could have been offended
at how excited my parents were
129
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,539
to get me out of the house,
130
00:04:23,539 --> 00:04:25,437
but I chose instead to focus
on the fact
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00:04:25,437 --> 00:04:28,060
that I was totally getting away
with something.
132
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,269
- To...
133
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,098
Jenna and Luke.
- Hello?
134
00:04:31,098 --> 00:04:32,720
[glasses clink]
135
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,274
- Ooh, sorry.
I knocked, but I didn'’t--
136
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,585
I didn'’t think anybody heard.
137
00:04:35,585 --> 00:04:36,897
- Oh, I forgot
you were coming over
138
00:04:36,897 --> 00:04:38,795
to practice
our German presentation!
139
00:04:38,795 --> 00:04:40,763
- Keine Sorge.
"No worries" in German.
140
00:04:40,763 --> 00:04:42,420
So what
are you guys celebrating?
141
00:04:42,420 --> 00:04:45,871
- I am moving in with Luke
for the rest of the summer.
142
00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:47,666
- That'’s a big step.
Congrats.
143
00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:48,874
God, you guys are so cool.
144
00:04:48,874 --> 00:04:50,600
That would never fly
with my parents.
145
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,499
- Oh, I don'’t know
that we'’re cool.
146
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:54,501
It just makes sense.
147
00:04:54,501 --> 00:04:56,882
JK. We'’re so cool.
148
00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:58,919
- In the past,
I would have been spinning out
149
00:04:58,919 --> 00:05:00,645
about Matty not caring
about my cohabitation,
150
00:05:00,645 --> 00:05:02,163
but now that Luke and I
had taken things
151
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,717
to the next level,
152
00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:05,581
I didn'’t care
that he didn'’t care.
153
00:05:05,581 --> 00:05:07,790
My brief blip
of hormonal hallucinations
154
00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,688
this morning
were just that--
155
00:05:09,688 --> 00:05:10,689
a blip.
156
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,450
- [giggles]
Patty cakes,
157
00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:15,211
I can'’t wait until we'’re back
in New York together either.
158
00:05:15,211 --> 00:05:16,557
- Tamara Judith Kaplan!
159
00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:17,938
- Babe, got to run.
160
00:05:17,938 --> 00:05:19,836
[door opens]
161
00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,114
- Do you know
why I'’m so angry?
162
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:23,288
- The change of life?
163
00:05:23,288 --> 00:05:24,772
I'’m just being real.
164
00:05:24,772 --> 00:05:26,671
You'’ve had the A/C
cranked way up all summer.
165
00:05:26,671 --> 00:05:29,294
- No, Tamara.
It'’s not menopause.
166
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:30,985
Do you know
that you have run up
167
00:05:30,985 --> 00:05:32,608
$12,000 in debt?
168
00:05:32,608 --> 00:05:33,816
- I had an inkling.
169
00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:36,508
- Because I cosigned
for that first card,
170
00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:38,027
my credit is affected.
171
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:40,098
- I'’m sorry. I didn'’t--
- Oh, you save it.
172
00:05:40,098 --> 00:05:43,032
- If you don'’t have a plan--
a concrete plan--
173
00:05:43,032 --> 00:05:46,276
to get this debt taken care of
by the end of the summer,
174
00:05:46,276 --> 00:05:47,933
you'’re not going back
to NYU.
175
00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:49,866
- ♪ Hey
176
00:05:49,866 --> 00:05:51,247
♪ Hey
177
00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:53,007
♪
178
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,464
- ♪ By the pond
when we first kissed ♪
179
00:06:01,464 --> 00:06:04,398
♪ I think my heart
just skipped a beat ♪
180
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:07,401
♪ The old familiar path
we took ♪
181
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,818
♪ The broken swings
where we would meet ♪
182
00:06:10,818 --> 00:06:15,409
♪ I look around,
it all feels new ♪
183
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,998
♪ I always think of you
184
00:06:17,998 --> 00:06:19,758
- ♪ Ah
185
00:06:19,758 --> 00:06:21,173
- ♪ I think of you
186
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:23,141
- ♪ Ah
187
00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:26,282
- ♪ Whoo-hoo
- ♪ Ah
188
00:06:26,282 --> 00:06:28,422
- Okay, I'’ll go in first.
189
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,113
You should probably give it
two minutes.
190
00:06:30,113 --> 00:06:31,770
- Do we really
have to keep doing this?
191
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,358
I mean,
we live together now.
192
00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:34,842
- I thought this was
what you wanted,
193
00:06:34,842 --> 00:06:36,706
so you'’d be taken seriously
around here--
194
00:06:36,706 --> 00:06:38,915
you know, not be the fellow
who slept with the guy
195
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:39,882
who recommended her.
196
00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:41,953
- Okay.
197
00:06:41,953 --> 00:06:43,195
- Jenna!
198
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,129
- Lissa.
What are you doing here?
199
00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:47,476
- Great to see you.
200
00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:49,650
I have some
important business inside.
201
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:51,376
Can you let me in?
202
00:06:54,552 --> 00:06:57,865
- ♪ Sir, can I help?
Would you like another pint? ♪
203
00:06:57,865 --> 00:07:01,869
♪ Of course I'’m okay,
it'’s my job to be all right ♪
204
00:07:01,869 --> 00:07:03,630
- Lissa?
Are you looking for Jenna?
205
00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,355
'’Cause I--I don'’t think
she'’s here yet.
206
00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:06,874
- Oh, I know.
She'’s right outside the door.
207
00:07:06,874 --> 00:07:08,462
I'’m looking for Ophelia.
208
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,395
- ♪ Just to witness
your cirrhosis ♪
209
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:14,157
♪ I just do my very best
to keep it all together ♪
210
00:07:14,157 --> 00:07:15,607
- Hi.
I'’m Lissa.
211
00:07:15,607 --> 00:07:18,092
And you'’ve made me
very angry.
212
00:07:18,092 --> 00:07:20,163
- Who are you?
Is this a dream?
213
00:07:20,163 --> 00:07:22,096
- No, it'’s
your worst nightmare.
214
00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:24,133
You need
to "atonercise,"
215
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,997
and not just because
you need to atone.
216
00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:28,344
You'’re a real big B-word
for sleeping with my friend
217
00:07:28,344 --> 00:07:29,725
and then being rude to him.
218
00:07:29,725 --> 00:07:32,313
- This is about Jake?
- Of course it is.
219
00:07:32,313 --> 00:07:33,694
How many other sad,
ambitionless townies
220
00:07:33,694 --> 00:07:35,178
have you slept with
this month?
221
00:07:35,178 --> 00:07:36,973
- Hey, I never used those words
about Jake.
222
00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:38,285
That was all you.
223
00:07:38,285 --> 00:07:39,804
- I'’m allowed
to say those things.
224
00:07:39,804 --> 00:07:42,047
I'’m Jake'’s friend
and ex-girlfriend.
225
00:07:42,047 --> 00:07:44,049
- Why did you break up?
226
00:07:45,395 --> 00:07:47,018
- Well, first he dumped me
for Jenna.
227
00:07:47,018 --> 00:07:49,296
- That is shocking.
- I know, right?
228
00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:50,849
But more recently,
I broke up with him because
229
00:07:50,849 --> 00:07:52,989
he couldn'’t provide me with
the Palos Hills mom lifestyle.
230
00:07:52,989 --> 00:07:54,232
- For real?
231
00:07:54,232 --> 00:07:55,751
- It'’s what
I'’ve always wanted.
232
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,132
Well, until my mommy got engaged
to a toilet seat cover man
233
00:07:58,132 --> 00:07:59,858
who'’s fat and has a pager,
234
00:07:59,858 --> 00:08:02,412
and his son has a VIP membership
at Lucky Chuck'’s Pong and Pucks,
235
00:08:02,412 --> 00:08:03,448
and I don'’t want that!
236
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:05,001
- Okay, it'’s okay.
237
00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:07,210
I'’ve got something for you.
238
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:12,561
You do not need a "P"
to be a Palos Hills mom.
239
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:16,219
You can be
your own rich husband.
240
00:08:16,219 --> 00:08:19,878
- ♪ I want to waste
my day today ♪
241
00:08:19,878 --> 00:08:22,018
- Eine Bratwurst.
242
00:08:22,018 --> 00:08:24,124
- Eine Bratwurst!
243
00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:26,367
Dude, you are killing it.
244
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:27,714
In fact,
I think we'’re gonna need
245
00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:29,370
to make the studying
a little harder.
246
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,648
I'’m getting bored as [bleep].
247
00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:31,925
- [German accent]
Uh, what'’s that for?
248
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,443
- Let'’s take a study spike.
249
00:08:33,443 --> 00:08:35,376
This is the only thing
that got me through finals,
250
00:08:35,376 --> 00:08:37,309
and I got
a 4.0 this semester.
251
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,828
- [normal voice]
All right, hit me.
252
00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:41,348
- That'’s my boo!
253
00:08:41,348 --> 00:08:43,212
Warum so viele Wuerste?
254
00:08:43,212 --> 00:08:46,698
- Ich habe ein Wurstfest.
255
00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:47,975
- Nailed it!
256
00:08:47,975 --> 00:08:50,391
- Ugh.
257
00:08:50,391 --> 00:08:51,738
- Now that Luke and I were back
258
00:08:51,738 --> 00:08:53,809
in our cocoon
of domestic bliss,
259
00:08:53,809 --> 00:08:56,432
having to keep us a secret
at work didn'’t seem so serious.
260
00:08:56,432 --> 00:08:57,847
This was our real life,
261
00:08:57,847 --> 00:09:00,298
and real life
was pretty damn good.
262
00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:03,163
- Babe, that sauce
smells amazing.
263
00:09:03,163 --> 00:09:06,131
- Babe, I can'’t wait
to try your salad.
264
00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:11,102
I can'’t believe
we'’re going to be back at school
265
00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:12,344
in a few weeks.
266
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,829
Hey, have you bought
your ticket?
267
00:09:13,829 --> 00:09:15,796
I was thinking maybe we could
fly back east together.
268
00:09:15,796 --> 00:09:17,453
I have to stop
through New York anyway.
269
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:21,008
- Why worry about that
when I come bearing
270
00:09:21,008 --> 00:09:22,562
a housewarming gift?
271
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,702
I know you'’ve always liked
the scent,
272
00:09:24,702 --> 00:09:26,427
and it'’s been
a slow few weeks.
273
00:09:26,427 --> 00:09:28,913
- Oh, T.
I love it.
274
00:09:28,913 --> 00:09:31,294
Babe, look, it'’s our first gift
as a couple.
275
00:09:31,294 --> 00:09:33,124
- That is so sweet.
276
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:34,504
Babe, did you get the onions?
277
00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:35,954
- Babe, I forgot
to get the onions.
278
00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:37,197
I'’m so sorry.
279
00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:38,785
- Babe, don'’t even worry
about it.
280
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:40,787
It'’s just another dollar
we can put in the fun budget.
281
00:09:40,787 --> 00:09:42,616
- I'’m sorry, T.
What did you want to talk about?
282
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:43,893
Something about your mom?
283
00:09:43,893 --> 00:09:46,068
- I don'’t even remember
what it was.
284
00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:48,346
Brain fart-y of one
over here.
285
00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:51,694
I actually have to go,
but enjoy the candle.
286
00:09:51,694 --> 00:09:52,902
Bye.
287
00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:54,559
- Mmm.
288
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,665
[beep]
- Matty, hi, again.
289
00:09:56,665 --> 00:09:58,528
Entschuldigung
for all the messages,
290
00:09:58,528 --> 00:10:00,634
but where the hell are you?
291
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,912
Frau Hoetzinger'’s letting us
go last, but...
292
00:10:02,912 --> 00:10:04,327
[class applauds]
293
00:10:04,327 --> 00:10:06,536
- Last is right now, Matty.
294
00:10:06,536 --> 00:10:08,815
If you get here
and you see me speaking German,
295
00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:11,818
for God'’s sake,
hop right in!
296
00:10:11,818 --> 00:10:14,821
[upbeat music]
297
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:17,962
♪
298
00:10:17,962 --> 00:10:21,482
- ♪ Maybe I found
299
00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:22,898
- Now that I was living
with Luke,
300
00:10:22,898 --> 00:10:25,210
the days at Idea Bin
dragged endlessly.
301
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,695
I just wanted them
to be over
302
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:29,905
so I could get back
to our blissful nights.
303
00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:31,596
So I have been researching
304
00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,633
rotisserie-chicken recipesall day
305
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,152
and thought maybe we could
do that, a little wine...
306
00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:37,706
- I have plans with Lizzy.
307
00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:39,466
She wants me to come with her
to this book party.
308
00:10:39,466 --> 00:10:40,778
- As her date?
309
00:10:40,778 --> 00:10:42,400
- Of course not.
I'’m just her plus-one.
310
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,850
- So I can'’t come.
311
00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:45,852
- I wish,
but it'’s not a plus-two, babe.
312
00:10:45,852 --> 00:10:47,923
Besides, if you were there,
our cover would be blown,
313
00:10:47,923 --> 00:10:50,235
because I wouldn'’t be able
to keep my hands off you.
314
00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:51,409
- How am I supposed
to get home?
315
00:10:51,409 --> 00:10:53,100
- Luke, are you ready?
316
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,482
I want to get there early enough
to really maximize
317
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:56,897
that open bar.
318
00:10:56,897 --> 00:10:58,899
- Good to go.
319
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:00,521
[mouths words]
320
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:01,799
- Moving in with Luke
321
00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:03,973
was supposed to be
an adult move.
322
00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:07,667
But suddenly, it was feeling
like the wrong move.
323
00:11:12,119 --> 00:11:14,259
- "The service on this flight
was outrageous.
324
00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:16,503
"No blankets
and no ice?
325
00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:20,162
"I was too cold,
and my drink was too warm.
326
00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:21,508
"I expect a voucher
327
00:11:21,508 --> 00:11:25,063
for at least three to five
free flights."
328
00:11:25,063 --> 00:11:26,306
[knock at door]
329
00:11:26,306 --> 00:11:27,721
Ally, stop interrupting me
330
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,378
while I'’m writing
my complaint letters!
331
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:31,104
You know this is my Zen time.
332
00:11:31,104 --> 00:11:32,243
- It'’s me.
333
00:11:32,243 --> 00:11:34,038
- Ew.
You look like [bleep].
334
00:11:34,038 --> 00:11:35,660
- That'’s because
I'’m in deep [bleep].
335
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:38,318
I'’m in $12,000 worth
of credit card debt,
336
00:11:38,318 --> 00:11:39,871
and my mom won'’t let me
go back to NYU
337
00:11:39,871 --> 00:11:40,976
until I deal with it.
338
00:11:40,976 --> 00:11:43,703
- That sucks.
339
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,463
- That'’s all you have to say?
340
00:11:45,463 --> 00:11:47,258
Sadie, this is kind of
your fault.
341
00:11:47,258 --> 00:11:49,191
- Did you just say
this was my fault?
342
00:11:49,191 --> 00:11:50,537
- I didn'’t even have
a credit card
343
00:11:50,537 --> 00:11:52,056
until you showed me
how to get one.
344
00:11:52,056 --> 00:11:53,367
- Listen, you go to NYU,
345
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:54,886
which implies you'’re not
a total idiot.
346
00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:56,681
I assumed that I didn'’t have
to explain to you
347
00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:58,476
that you actually have
to pay your bills.
348
00:11:58,476 --> 00:12:00,823
- I thought I could pay them
after I graduate.
349
00:12:00,823 --> 00:12:02,273
How am I supposed
to pay them now?
350
00:12:02,273 --> 00:12:04,309
I'’m a poor student
living in the dorms.
351
00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:05,690
- Get a job?
352
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,796
I worked 15 hours a week
in the Columbia dining hall.
353
00:12:07,796 --> 00:12:10,522
That, on top of my scholarship,
and the money I get
354
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,801
from my guilt-ridden "slunt"
of a mother got me through.
355
00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:14,285
- I got a job this summer,
356
00:12:14,285 --> 00:12:18,185
and I spent a bunch of money
I made on your birthday.
357
00:12:18,185 --> 00:12:19,566
- Get another job.
358
00:12:19,566 --> 00:12:21,499
- Sadie, I am desperado.
359
00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:23,397
I need you to loan me
some money.
360
00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:25,089
- No.
- I can pay you back.
361
00:12:25,089 --> 00:12:26,607
- Demonstrably untrue.
362
00:12:26,607 --> 00:12:27,643
No.
363
00:12:27,643 --> 00:12:29,093
- Sadie, I'’m your friend.
364
00:12:29,093 --> 00:12:30,680
- You'’re not a charity.
365
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,096
Figure something out.
366
00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:33,511
- You know what?
367
00:12:33,511 --> 00:12:35,858
I don'’t even know
why I expected you to help me.
368
00:12:35,858 --> 00:12:38,516
You are the same rude ass[bleep]
you were in high school.
369
00:12:38,516 --> 00:12:40,414
- And you'’re the same
annoying dumbass
370
00:12:40,414 --> 00:12:42,934
under all those desperate
designer ensembles.
371
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:46,558
News flash, Tamara--
you'’re not fooling anyone.
372
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,595
- [bleep] you, Sadie.
373
00:12:48,595 --> 00:12:50,839
[door slams]
374
00:12:50,839 --> 00:12:53,531
- The long bus ride home
gave me time to think.
375
00:12:53,531 --> 00:12:55,671
In the past, I would have
totally overreacted
376
00:12:55,671 --> 00:12:57,466
to Luke'’s night
with Lizzy,
377
00:12:57,466 --> 00:12:59,606
but being in our home
reminded me
378
00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:00,952
how committed we were.
379
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:03,023
My mood was nothing
a bowl of ice cream
380
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:04,300
couldn'’t take care of.
381
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,371
Rocky road, take me away.
382
00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:12,999
Okay, it'’s nothing a hot shower
couldn'’t fix.
383
00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:16,002
[upbeat music]
384
00:13:16,002 --> 00:13:22,353
♪
385
00:13:22,353 --> 00:13:23,354
Ugh.
386
00:13:23,354 --> 00:13:24,562
Mm-mm.
387
00:13:24,562 --> 00:13:27,565
[solemn music]
388
00:13:27,565 --> 00:13:30,154
♪
389
00:13:30,154 --> 00:13:31,534
- [bleep].
390
00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:36,919
♪
391
00:13:36,919 --> 00:13:38,818
Hi.
This is Tamara Kaplan.
392
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:42,545
I'’m calling you back
about your offer.
393
00:13:42,545 --> 00:13:45,790
How much did you say
you'’re willing to pay me?
394
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:49,483
And that'’s for one night
or the whole weekend?
395
00:13:49,483 --> 00:13:52,072
Okay.
What hotel?
396
00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:54,764
What should I wear?
397
00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:56,318
No, it'’s fine.
398
00:13:56,318 --> 00:13:59,735
You'’re paying me.
I'’ll do whatever you want.
399
00:13:59,735 --> 00:14:03,808
♪
400
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:09,745
- I want to teach Atonercise
at the club.
401
00:14:09,745 --> 00:14:12,265
- Cool. You realize you'’ve been
doing that all summer, right?
402
00:14:12,265 --> 00:14:14,819
- Yes, but before,
I was doing it for Jesus,
403
00:14:14,819 --> 00:14:17,477
and now I'’m doing it for Jesus
and myself,
404
00:14:17,477 --> 00:14:20,031
and that means I want signage,
I want more classes,
405
00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:22,965
and I want to be paid
equally to that of a man.
406
00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:24,933
- We don'’t have any
male Atonercise teachers,
407
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:27,107
but okay.
408
00:14:27,107 --> 00:14:29,282
- You'’re officially put
on notice, Jake Rosati.
409
00:14:29,282 --> 00:14:32,285
- What are you doing?
- I'’m leaning in!
410
00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:34,528
[giggles]
411
00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:39,292
- [sighs]
412
00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:40,707
You didn'’t have to wait up.
413
00:14:40,707 --> 00:14:42,743
I had no idea this thing
was gonna run this late.
414
00:14:42,743 --> 00:14:45,436
[cell phone chimes, vibrates]
- Mm.
415
00:14:45,436 --> 00:14:47,265
What'’s that?
- It'’s a picture from tonight.
416
00:14:47,265 --> 00:14:48,715
Lizzy sent it to me.
417
00:14:48,715 --> 00:14:50,199
- How was the party?
418
00:14:50,199 --> 00:14:52,443
What did you and Lizzy talk
about--how we'’re not dating?
419
00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:54,169
- What'’s this about?
420
00:14:54,169 --> 00:14:56,067
And why are you reading the
Farmer Carl'’s Grocery Gazette?
421
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:58,035
- There are a lot of good deals
on cookie batter in here,
422
00:14:58,035 --> 00:14:59,519
but what this is about
423
00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:02,556
is that you just leave
your towels on the floor.
424
00:15:02,556 --> 00:15:03,937
- What?
425
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,559
- Okay...
426
00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:07,458
it'’s about the fact that
you went on a date with Lizzy.
427
00:15:07,458 --> 00:15:09,356
But seriously,
who only has one towel
428
00:15:09,356 --> 00:15:10,875
and just leaves it
on the floor?
429
00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,325
- Told you, it'’s not a date.
430
00:15:12,325 --> 00:15:13,982
- If a girl sends you cute pics
after your night out,
431
00:15:13,982 --> 00:15:14,983
then it'’s a date.
432
00:15:14,983 --> 00:15:16,467
- Take a look.
433
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:18,538
We make a pretty cute couple,
don'’t you think?
434
00:15:18,538 --> 00:15:19,919
That'’s one of the authorsI met.
435
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,230
Lizzy introduced us.
436
00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:23,612
You happy now?
437
00:15:23,612 --> 00:15:24,958
- No...
438
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,927
but you shouldn'’t leave
empty ice cream containers
439
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,445
in the freezer.
440
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:32,000
- Lizzy'’s my boss,
and when your boss asks you
441
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,725
to go to a networking party,you go.
442
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:36,211
If Lizzy was a man,
you wouldn'’t care.
443
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:37,695
- That'’s fair.
444
00:15:37,695 --> 00:15:40,146
- And by the way,
I was a little nervous to go.
445
00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:42,803
You don'’t seem to realize this,
but I wasn'’t offered the e-book.
446
00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:44,322
And I'’ve been there
longer than you,
447
00:15:44,322 --> 00:15:45,737
and I want a job at Idea Bin
when I graduate,
448
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,429
and if that means hanging out
with Lizzy,
449
00:15:47,429 --> 00:15:49,810
then, yeah,
that'’s what I'’m gonna do.
450
00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:52,158
- What Luke was saying
made me feel guilty.
451
00:15:52,158 --> 00:15:54,884
Here he was, laying
his vulnerability on the line.
452
00:15:54,884 --> 00:15:58,026
I owed it to him
to do the same.
453
00:15:58,026 --> 00:16:00,235
I'’m sorry
for being paranoid.
454
00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:01,788
I guess I just...
455
00:16:01,788 --> 00:16:05,033
felt like it was a date
because we'’re a secret,
456
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:07,345
and...
457
00:16:07,345 --> 00:16:11,315
it brought me back
to a bad time in my life.
458
00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:14,870
- Okay.
459
00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:17,666
I totally get it,
and I'’m sorry.
460
00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:20,082
But, Jenna, I promise,
I'’m not Matty.
461
00:16:20,082 --> 00:16:21,773
- Luke was right.
462
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,742
Matty had kept me a secret
to protect his own reputation.
463
00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:26,847
Luke was only trying
to protect me.
464
00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:29,574
It was totally different,
and I loved him for that.
465
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:31,093
Oh, my God,
I loved Luke,
466
00:16:31,093 --> 00:16:32,612
and thank God
I didn'’t blurt that out
467
00:16:32,612 --> 00:16:34,441
like the moving-in thing.
468
00:16:34,441 --> 00:16:38,100
- I never want to make you feel
like I'’m hiding you, because...
469
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:41,310
'’cause I love you.
470
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,692
- I love you too.
471
00:16:47,247 --> 00:16:48,835
- This as been hard
for me too.
472
00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:50,630
Your name came up
a lot tonight.
473
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:52,563
Lizzy likes your writing.
She thinks you'’re ballsy.
474
00:16:52,563 --> 00:16:54,013
And it'’s been torture
not to say,
475
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,602
"I know. That hot, ballsy writer
is my girlfriend."
476
00:16:57,602 --> 00:17:00,605
But I want the world,
including Lizzy,
477
00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:02,193
to know I love you.
478
00:17:02,193 --> 00:17:05,403
[chuckles]
479
00:17:05,403 --> 00:17:07,716
[knock at door]
480
00:17:11,271 --> 00:17:13,756
- Oh, guten Abend,jerk.
481
00:17:13,756 --> 00:17:16,621
- Lacey, I am so sorry
about the presentation.
482
00:17:16,621 --> 00:17:18,968
My night with Sully
got a little out of hand.
483
00:17:18,968 --> 00:17:20,315
I honestly did practice.
484
00:17:20,315 --> 00:17:21,902
Come on,
I thought we were friends.
485
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:24,008
- Friends don'’t ruin friends'’
chances of getting an A.
486
00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:25,561
What happened?
487
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,633
- Sully thought of this
drinking game for studying,
488
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:30,635
and the next thing I knew,
489
00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:32,982
I woke up, and I missed it.
490
00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:34,329
- Time for some real talk.
491
00:17:34,329 --> 00:17:38,298
Sully sounds like
a whole lot of fun.
492
00:17:38,298 --> 00:17:40,197
You know,
she actually reminds me
493
00:17:40,197 --> 00:17:43,476
of a friend I had who helped
an ex study for the LSATs,
494
00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:46,134
except he didn'’t wind up going
to law school.
495
00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:48,101
He went to rehab,
496
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,103
and you know who
that friend was?
497
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,623
Ally.
498
00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:56,972
I love her to death,
but she is bad news,
499
00:17:56,972 --> 00:17:58,629
and so is Sully.
500
00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:01,839
I'’ll see you in class.
501
00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:04,704
- I was so excited
that Luke said he loved me
502
00:18:04,704 --> 00:18:07,707
that I decided to make
my own grand gesture.
503
00:18:07,707 --> 00:18:09,640
I had proven myself
at Idea Bin,
504
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,263
and neither of us wanted
to hide the truth anymore.
505
00:18:12,263 --> 00:18:15,956
And lucky me, I knew
just how to spread the word.
506
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:26,277
[tapping on glass]
507
00:18:29,246 --> 00:18:30,799
- Sorry I'’m late.
508
00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:32,697
I needed to prepare
for the marathon
509
00:18:32,697 --> 00:18:33,905
that is about to happen,
510
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,804
and you'’re participating too.
511
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:38,013
Two bottomless mimosas, please.
512
00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:39,704
Oh, the best part
about a mimosa-thon
513
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:40,843
is you can'’t lose.
514
00:18:40,843 --> 00:18:42,362
Plus, you get
to drink your medal.
515
00:18:42,362 --> 00:18:45,089
- I-I'’m fine with coffee.Thanks.
516
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:46,849
- If you drink
too much caffeine plus booze,
517
00:18:46,849 --> 00:18:47,988
you'’ll pee all day, dude.
518
00:18:47,988 --> 00:18:50,681
- I'’m not gonna have any booze.
519
00:18:50,681 --> 00:18:51,992
Sully, we need to talk.
520
00:18:51,992 --> 00:18:53,994
- Can we wait
until I get a breakfast burrito
521
00:18:53,994 --> 00:18:55,444
up in this bish?
522
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:57,446
You know I can'’t do anything
on an empty stomach.
523
00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:59,276
- I think we need to go
our separate ways.
524
00:18:59,276 --> 00:19:01,519
I can'’t tell you how much
you mean to me.
525
00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:03,314
I mean, you are the one
who picked me up
526
00:19:03,314 --> 00:19:05,247
and helped me through
a dark time this year.
527
00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:06,731
- You want to break up?
528
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,319
- You'’ve been amazing.
529
00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:10,459
It'’s just--
I-I don'’t know.
530
00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:12,323
Maybe, uh...
531
00:19:12,323 --> 00:19:14,843
maybe it'’s time to move on.
532
00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:16,534
- That'’s cool.
533
00:19:16,534 --> 00:19:18,433
- Uh, what?
534
00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:20,814
- Dude, if that'’s what you want,
I think we should too.
535
00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:23,817
You'’re definitely paying
for the mimosas, though.
536
00:19:23,817 --> 00:19:25,819
- Um, I'’m sorry.
537
00:19:25,819 --> 00:19:28,822
This is not how my breakups
usually go.
538
00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:30,652
You'’re cool?
539
00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:31,756
- Yeah, dude.
540
00:19:31,756 --> 00:19:33,862
It'’s not that deep.
541
00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:36,520
Hey, you'’re okay,
though, right?
542
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,556
- Yeah.
543
00:19:38,556 --> 00:19:40,765
Thanks for checking.
544
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:43,492
- Of course.
[laughs]
545
00:19:43,492 --> 00:19:45,011
Do you want some?
546
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:46,530
- I had learned
from my mistake.
547
00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:48,497
The key
to a grown-up relationship
548
00:19:48,497 --> 00:19:53,053
was being on the same page,
and I knew Luke and I were.
549
00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:57,403
- ♪ Something inside of me
550
00:19:57,403 --> 00:19:59,957
♪ Says that I should keep
it all to myself ♪
551
00:19:59,957 --> 00:20:01,648
[cheers and applause]
552
00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:03,202
- Front page, babe!
553
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,582
When you write about love,
554
00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:06,964
you'’re Miley Cyrus
"Can'’t Be Tamed,"
555
00:20:06,964 --> 00:20:08,517
and, Luke, you...
556
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:11,037
I mean, I never thought
you had it in you.
557
00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:12,383
- What'’s he talking about?
558
00:20:12,383 --> 00:20:14,420
- You said you wanted
the world to know.
559
00:20:19,632 --> 00:20:20,978
- Not like this.
560
00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:22,842
It'’s one thing to say
we started dating.
561
00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:24,947
It'’s another thing to admit
we'’ve been lying to the boss
562
00:20:24,947 --> 00:20:26,017
for the past month.
563
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,227
- Luke, a moment.
564
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:31,402
- ♪ Something inside of me
565
00:20:31,402 --> 00:20:33,784
♪ Is tormenting me
566
00:20:33,784 --> 00:20:36,614
- Looks like no matter
how much more grown-up I felt,
567
00:20:36,614 --> 00:20:40,239
I couldn'’t help but repeat
the mistakes of the past.
568
00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:46,762
- Next on Awkward...
- You'’re acting like a child.
569
00:20:46,762 --> 00:20:48,316
- I am not.Jerk!
570
00:20:48,316 --> 00:20:50,490
- I know this is degrading,
and you don'’t belong
571
00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:52,872
in some strange hotel room...
[sighs]
572
00:20:52,872 --> 00:20:55,461
But you need the money,
so you'’re gonna suck it up
573
00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:57,221
and close your eyes
if you need to.
574
00:20:57,221 --> 00:20:58,878
- Matty?
- Jenna?
575
00:20:58,878 --> 00:21:00,776
I broke up with Sully
and figured, what the hell?
576
00:21:00,776 --> 00:21:02,088
- You broke up with Sully.
577
00:21:02,088 --> 00:21:03,814
- You want to do something
after this?
41851
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