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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,916 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,353 - THE DUDE DATABASE HAS GONE FULL-ON VIRAL. 3 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,832 - THIS IS GONNA REALLY PISS SOME PEOPLE OFF. 4 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:08,225 HEY, I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE COULDN'’T DELETE 5 00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:10,575 THIS STUPID DATABASE. - NO! 6 00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:12,534 JENNA, I DIDN'’T MEAN YOU CAN'’T DELETE IT! 7 00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:13,622 I MEAN DON'’T [bleep] DELETE IT! 8 00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:15,580 [cell phones chime] 9 00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,326 - THEY WERE CALLING IT THE GREAT REPRESSION. 10 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,154 THERE WAS A FULL-SCALE HOOKUP DROUGHT AT PALOS HILLS HIGH, 11 00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:27,114 AND THE HALLS WERE HAUNTED BY AGGRO, SEX-STARVED TEENS. 12 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,985 GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO RANK GIRLS, 13 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,726 BUT WHEN THE HASHTAG WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT, 14 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:34,599 THEY FREAKED, MAKING FOR A VERY AWKWARD VALENTINE'’S DAY. 15 00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:36,819 - IT'’S LIKE A DATING DUST BOWL OUT HERE. 16 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:37,994 IF THINGS DON'’T PICK UP, I'’M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL 17 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,387 THE VALENTINE'’S DANCE. 18 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,780 - THAT'’S A TAD DRAMATIC. - DRAMATIC? 19 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,479 VALENTINE'’S DAY IS LIKE THE SUPER BOWL OF DRAMA, JENNA. 20 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,437 DO YOU SEE A SINGLE GIRL AROUND HERE 21 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,831 WITH FLOWERS OR CHOCOLATES OR HOPE? 22 00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:51,051 THE GREAT REPRESSION HAS MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE. 23 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,183 - I WOULD THINK THE GUYS WOULD BE HAPPY TO BE OFF THE HOOK 24 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,184 FOR VALENTINE'’S DAY. 25 00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:55,968 THEY HATE BUYING FLOWERS. 26 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:59,146 - UH, GOOGLE EARTH TO JENNA, BJs ARE LIKE FLOWERS FOR DUDES. 27 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:01,452 YOU RUINED THAT FOR THEM TOO. - ME? 28 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,150 WE BOTH STARTED THE DUDE DATABASE. 29 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,413 - BUT ONLY ONE OF US CONTROL-ALT-OUTED HERSELF 30 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,937 AS THE ADMINISTRATOR. 31 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:10,592 - OH! WHAT ARE THOSE? 32 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,333 - BLUE BALLS. 33 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:15,727 YOU GAVE THEM TO US, SO NOW WE'’RE GIVING THEM BACK. 34 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:26,608 - THANKS FOR RUINING VALENTINE'’S DAY. 35 00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:29,785 - OKAY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 36 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,830 - I TOLD YOU NOT TO DELETE IT, AND YOU DIDN'’T LISTEN. 37 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,790 I AM NOT BECOMING A PARIAH CAREY OVER THIS. 38 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,314 - FINE, I'’M JUST GONNA HAVE TO SAVE VALENTINE'’S DAY BY MYSELF? 39 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,620 - LET'’S FACE IT. 40 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,970 VALENTINE'’S DAY IS OFF THIS YEAR. 41 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:44,365 - VALENTINE'’S DAY IS SO ON THIS YEAR. 42 00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,280 I WONDER WHAT WILL HAS PLANNED FOR ME. 43 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,457 YOU KNOW THAT HE STARTED OUT AS MY STALKER? 44 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,677 AND VALENTINE'’S DAY IS LIKE THE WORLD SERIES OF STALKING. 45 00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:56,116 - UM, WHY AM I HERE AGAIN? 46 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:59,728 - OH, RIGHT, DO YOU MIND EXPLAINING THIS PAPER? 47 00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,643 - MS. MARKS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'’S LIKE TO LEARN 48 00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,297 YOUR ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE? 49 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:06,213 - WHEN I WAS 14, I FOUND OUT THAT THE WOMAN I THOUGHT 50 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,563 WAS MY SISTER WAS ACTUALLY MY MOM. 51 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,999 IS THAT THE KIND OF THING YOU MEAN? 52 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,175 - THEN YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IT MAKES YOU QUESTION EVERYTHING 53 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,134 YOU ONCE TOOK AS THE FOR-SURE TRUTH! 54 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,613 - I GUESS. 55 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,354 - EVER SINCE MY DAD WAS SENT TO GAY REHAB 56 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,661 AND MY MOTHER SENT MY BROTHER-- 57 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:21,924 NO, MY BOYFRIEND-- 58 00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,318 MY BROTHER TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER FAMILY, 59 00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:27,321 I'’M FINDING IT HARD TO TRUST GOD'’S PLAN. 60 00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,845 SO I'’M WRITING ABOUT MY JOURNEY. 61 00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,716 - OKAY, IT'’S JUST THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WRITE 62 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,065 ABOUT THE NEW DEAL. 63 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:35,111 - THE NEW DEAL WAS A REAL LIFESAVER. 64 00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:37,461 IT GOT PEOPLE BACK TO WORK, 65 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:40,812 INFUSED ENERGY INTO OUR ECONOMY, 66 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:44,076 AND PRETTY MUCH ENDED THE GREAT DEPRESSION. 67 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:45,165 - THAT WAS IT. 68 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,079 I NEEDED A NEW DEAL TO GET US 69 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:50,170 OUT OF THIS GREAT REPRESSION, AND I HAD AN IDEA. 70 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,475 [school bell rings] 71 00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,564 I NEED THE BEST ONE YOU'’VE GOT. 72 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:54,870 WAIT, HOW MUCH? 73 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:57,394 OKAY, WHAT CAN I GET FOR 200 BUCKS? 74 00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,179 GREAT, THANK YOU. 75 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,312 - WHAT ARE YOU FINALLY BLOWING YOUR BABYSITTING MONEY ON? 76 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:05,968 BECAUSE IF IT'’S CLOTHES, I HAVE SOME CONSTRUCTIVE SUGGESTIONS. 77 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,883 - NOT CLOTHES, A PARTY BUS. 78 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,581 IT'’S MY NEW DEAL, AND IT IS GONNA END THE HOOKUP DROUGHT. 79 00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,583 - HEY, JENNA, I HEARD ABOUT THE HURT LOCKER 80 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,542 FULL OF BLUE BALLS, YEESH. 81 00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,805 DON'’T SWEAT IT--IT'’LL ALL BLOW OVER IN, LIKE, 12 MONTHS 82 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,894 WHEN WE'’RE ALL IN COLLEGE AND SPREAD OUT ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. 83 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,765 - TRY 24 HOURS. 84 00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:23,333 I RENTED US A PARTY BUS FOR THE DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT, 85 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,074 AND YOU BOTH BETTER BE ON IT. 86 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:27,642 - HOW IS A PARTY BUS GOING TO SEXIFY THE STUDENT BODY? 87 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,426 - DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE JULIES GOT 88 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,080 THAT DOUBLE-DECKER FOR THEIR SWEET 16? 89 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,647 - OH, I REMEMBER. 90 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,083 - I WAS PRACTICALLY THE ONLY ONE 91 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,824 THAT DIDN'’T LOSE THEIR VEHICULAR VIRGINITY THAT NIGHT. 92 00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:39,088 - EXACTLY. ON A PARTY BUS, THERE ARE NO PARENTS, 93 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,003 THE DRIVER LOOKS THE OTHER WAY, AND THERE ARE PLENTY 94 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:43,266 OF NASTY NOOKS AND CRANNIES TO GET YOUR FREAK ON. 95 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:46,791 - WELL, JENNA, IT'’S A LOT TO ASK, BUT IF IT HELPS THE CAUSE, 96 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,837 I'’M ON BOARD WITH YOUR PARTY BUS. 97 00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:49,707 - AT LEAST ONE GUY WASN'’T HOLDING 98 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,405 THE HOOKUP DROUGHT AGAINST ME. 99 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,363 ACTUALLY, HE WAS HOLDING HIMSELF AGAINST ME, 100 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,539 AND IT FELT PRETTY GREAT. 101 00:03:55,539 --> 00:04:00,457 - SO, WILLY-YUM, SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT'’S THE PLAN? 102 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,806 A LITTLE ROLE PLAY? 103 00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:05,723 A LITTLE, UH, CHAPS AND CHAPSTICK? 104 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,465 - SATURDAY, SATURDAY, UH... 105 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:11,773 OH, I'’M ACTUALLY HEADED OUT OF TOWN FOR A DIVE THIS WEEKEND. 106 00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:16,691 - WELL, DO YOU HAVE A VAL-ID REASON 107 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:20,738 FOR YOUR TIME AWAY? 108 00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:25,265 - YEAH, I JUST NEED A LITTLE R&R. 109 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:29,399 - DO YOU WANT TO MAYBE REE-VAL-UATE THE SITUATION 110 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:30,748 BEFORE YOU LEAVE? 111 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:34,491 - NO, I'’M GOOD. 112 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:37,102 SEE YA. 113 00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:40,584 - ALL RIGHT. BOOZE, CHECK. 114 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,847 TEQUILA FOR THE TEASES. RUM TO HAVE FUN. 115 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,285 BEER FOR NO FEAR. AND VODKA... 116 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,417 DOESN'’T RHYME WITH ANYTHING. UGH. 117 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:50,290 I SHOULD'’VE GOTTEN WHISKEY. WHISKEY MAKES YOU FRISKY. 118 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,466 THAT'’S A GOOD ONE. - THAT'’S A GOOD ONE. 119 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,512 I CAN'’T BELIEVE YOU'’RE DITCHING ME TO GO SERVE SAUSAGES 120 00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,340 TO SAD SINGLES. 121 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,299 - LONELY PEOPLE STUFF THEIR FACES ON VALENTINE'’S DAY. 122 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,865 IT'’S ONE OF THE BIGGEST NIGHTS OF THE YEAR FOR THE TRUCK. 123 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,998 I CAN'’T AFFORD TO TAKE OFF WHENEVER I WANT. 124 00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:04,173 - AND I CAN'’T AFFORD YOUR LAME EXCUSES. 125 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,262 SEE YA. 126 00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,743 - THE ONLY HEART YOU GIVE ME TODAY, SADITA, IS HEARTBURN. 127 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,223 - I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A CHALUPA. 128 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:17,317 - LOOKS LIKE WE'’RE EACH OTHER'’S VALENTINES. GIRLS'’ NIGHT! 129 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,449 - EW, THE ONLY WOMEN WHO ARE HAPPY ABOUT A GIRLS'’ NIGHT 130 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:22,800 ON VALENTINE'’S DAY ARE SINGLE, 30-YEAR-OLD SEX-AND-THE-SADS. 131 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,324 - I'’M NOT SAD. 132 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,805 I'’M JUST NOT SURE IF GOD EXISTS OR NOT. 133 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,634 - WHEN'’S THE PANTY DROPPER SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE? 134 00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,854 I MEANT THE PARTY BUS. 135 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,943 - MATTY WAS DEFINITELY DOING HIS PART TO GET GIRLS 136 00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,640 FEELING ROMANTIC AGAIN. 137 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,208 IF ALL THE GUYS LOOKED AS GOOD AS HE DID TONIGHT, 138 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:43,343 I WAS SURE TO SUCCEED WITH MY PLAN TO BRING SEXY BACK. 139 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,302 UNFORTUNATELY, MATTY'’S PLAN WAS TO BRING GABBY. 140 00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:47,869 - HEY, GREAT TURNOUT. 141 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,392 - YEAH, GREAT. 142 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,481 - THANKS FOR ORGANIZING THIS. 143 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:56,051 - WHY WOULD HE BRING HER? IT'’S VALENTINE'’S DAY. 144 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,793 HE SAID IT WAS NOTHING SERIOUS. - A PARTY BUS ISN'’T SERIOUS. 145 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,969 I THOUGHT YOUR AGENDA WAS TO GET PEOPLE TOGETHER TONIGHT. 146 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:03,450 - IT IS. IT'’S JUST A LITTLE... 147 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,626 WEIRDER WITH SOME PEOPLE. 148 00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,236 - I GET IT, BUT DON'’T SPIN. 149 00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:09,194 WE HAVE A DJ FOR THAT. FOCUS. 150 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:11,022 TONIGHT'’S ABOUT ENDING THE DROUGHT AND NOT OBSESSING 151 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,373 OVER EX-BOYFRIENDS. 152 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,202 - HELLO, LADIES. - WHOA, BACK TO THE FUTUREMUCH? 153 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,683 - YEAH, WELL, I REALIZED THE NO-EFFORT LOOK HAD BECOME 154 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:22,643 TOO MUCH EFFORT FOR ME. 155 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:25,167 - OKAY, DID JAKE HIRE A SWAG COACH? 156 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:28,039 - HEY, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? NO OBSESSING OVER EXES. 157 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,040 [horn honking] 158 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,215 IS THAT-- 159 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:31,826 [all groan] 160 00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,875 - IT'’S NOT A PARTY BUS. THAT'’S A STRIPPER'’S METH LAB. 161 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,574 - IT'’S A DREAM. - NICE WORK, HAMILTRASH. 162 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,754 - '’SUP? GONNA NEED TO SEE THOSE BENJAMINS UP FRONT, BRAH. 163 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,495 - THIS BUS WAS THE OPPOSITE OF SEXY, 164 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,235 AND DID HE JUST SAY "BENJAMINS"? 165 00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,847 BUT DID FDR GIVE UP WHEN HE GOT POLIO? 166 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,936 NO. - LET'’S GO. 167 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:58,113 - ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'’S GET THIS PARTY MOBILE. 168 00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:01,595 SOME BOOZE AND SOME BLING. 169 00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,077 - DID SOMETHING DIE IN HERE? 170 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,471 - SOMEONE, BUT THAT WAS, LIKE, WEEKS AGO. 171 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,473 DON'’T WORRY. I FEBREZED. 172 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,996 - COME ON, GUYS. 173 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,390 IT'’S NOT THAT BAD. 174 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,914 LOOK, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 175 00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,482 HOLLA, PARTY PEOPLE. 176 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,223 [all gasp] 177 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,664 - SO FAR, MY PARTY BUS WAS MORE LIKE A FUNERAL PROCESSION. 178 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,492 NO ONE SEEMED TO WANT TO BE THERE, 179 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,102 EXCEPT FOR MATTY AND GABBY. 180 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,713 I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. 181 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:36,543 ALL RIGHT, TIME FOR A LITTLE "NEVER HAVE I EVER." 182 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:39,154 - CAN'’T HAVE ANY OPEN CONTAINERS WHILE I'’M DRIVING. 183 00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:40,590 - ARE YOU SERIOUS? 184 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,200 - WHAT HAPPENED TO LOOKING THE OTHER WAY? 185 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,247 - ABOUT SIX DUIs. 186 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:48,816 - ALL RIGHT, WE'’LL JUST PLAY WITH WARM WATER. 187 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:54,604 ALL RIGHT, WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST? 188 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,346 ANYONE? 189 00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:59,435 - I'’LL GO. 190 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:02,656 NEVER HAVE I EVER RIDDEN IN SOMETHING SO SICK AND REVOLTING. 191 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,527 - OR ON SOMETHING. - HA. 192 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:09,401 - MY TURN, NEVER HAVE I EVER RIDDEN 193 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:11,621 IN A MOBILE LEPROSY TRIAGE UNIT. 194 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,929 - I'’LL GO. 195 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:18,149 NEVER HAVE I EVER GOTTEN IT ON WITH A MILF. 196 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:21,413 - DUDE. - DRINK UP, BRO. 197 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,980 all: OHH. 198 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,852 - DIRTY. 199 00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,201 - OKAY, I DIDN'’T KNOW WE WERE IN THE ARMY, 200 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:29,726 BECAUSE MAJOR SHENANIGANS JUST REPORTED FOR DUTY. 201 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:30,640 WHO ROBBED YOUR CRADLE, ROSATI? 202 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,250 - DON'’T WORRY ABOUT IT. 203 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,339 - OKAY, WELL, IF WE'’RE NOT GONNA BE TRUTHFUL 204 00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,819 IN "NEVER HAVE I EVER," THEN WE SHOULD PLAY A DIFFERENT GAME. 205 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:38,430 - TAMARA, BELIEVE ME. IT'’S THE TRUTH. 206 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,302 - ALL RIGHT, MY TURN. 207 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:42,783 NEVER HAVE I EVER 208 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:46,830 SCORED TRIPLE DIGITS IN MINI GOLF. 209 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,267 YOU'’RE A STRAIGHT-UP LIAR, MCKIBBEN. DRINK. 210 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,792 - TONIGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT EVERYONE HOOKING UP. 211 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,012 NOT EVERYONE WATCHING MATTY AND GABBY VDTR. 212 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,275 VALENTINE'’S DAY THE RELATIONSHIP. 213 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,451 I HAD TO DO SOMETHING, RIGHT? 214 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:02,063 ALL RIGHT, MY TURN. 215 00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:05,501 NEVER HAVE I EVER TAKEN SOMEONE'’S VIRGINITY. 216 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:11,507 MATTY? - RIGHT, THANK YOU. 217 00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,553 - UH, CHUG-A-LUG, J. 218 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,293 - TAMARA WAS RIGHT. 219 00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:17,731 MY RECENT SWIPE OF OWEN'’S V-CARD MEANT MATTY AND I WERE 220 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,123 SUDDENLY DRINKING BUDDIES. 221 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,777 - WAIT, YOU TOOK SOMEONE'’S VIRGINITY? 222 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:24,172 - YEAH, YEAH--I MEAN, YES. - WHOSE? 223 00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:26,914 - CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT? PLEASE? 224 00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,306 - SO LUKE WAS A VIRGIN IN COLLEGE? 225 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,394 - [chuckles] LOSER. 226 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,700 - WHO SAID IT WAS LUKE? 227 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,396 [brakes screeching, horn honking] 228 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,311 OH! JEEZ! 229 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,924 - YO. - YO. 230 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,752 - WE HITTING THIS VD FEST OR WHAT? 231 00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:41,232 - UGH, I DON'’T CARE. - WHY'’D YOU ASK ME TO CHAPERONE? 232 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,017 I COULD BE PASSED OUT IN MY TANNING BED RIGHT NOW. 233 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,584 - WILL FORGOT ABOUT VALENTINE'’S DAY. 234 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,020 IT'’S SO SAD. 235 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,108 IT'’S LIKE ONCE YOU LET THE STALKER IN, 236 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:48,762 ALL THE ROMANCE DIES. 237 00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,155 - I FIND THE BEST VALENTINE'’S DATES ARE TITO AND JACK. 238 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,722 - TITO PUENTE AND JACK NICHOLSON? 239 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,290 - VODKA AND DANIELS. 240 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,814 WANTED TO BE DISCREET BECAUSE OF THE KIDDOS. 241 00:09:57,814 --> 00:10:00,034 ESPECIALLY SINCE PRINCIPAL COCKBLOCK 242 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,992 CONFISCATED MY FLASK LAST TIME AROUND. 243 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,907 - YEAH, I CAN'’T. I'’M STILL ON THE CLOCK. 244 00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,561 - COME ON. TAKE A PULL OFF MY RACK. 245 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,345 - JUST PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. 246 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:10,261 - OKAY, BUT I WASN'’T BREAST-FED, SO THIS IS ALL NEW TO ME. 247 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:11,828 - ALL RIGHT, YOU DON'’T HAVE TO GO HOME, 248 00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,308 BUT YOU CAN'’T STAY HERE. 249 00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:16,833 - THANK GOD. 250 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,443 - [gasps] FIVE-SECOND RULE! 251 00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:21,751 OOH, I LOVE CANDY HEARTS. WHO'’S MOLLY? 252 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:25,320 - OH, A HOTEL KEY. MY PLAN IS WORKING. 253 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,802 SOMEONE IS ENDING THEIR HOOKUP DRAUGHT TONIGHT. 254 00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:31,021 WHAT LUCKY GUY DOES THIS BELONG TO? 255 00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,980 - UH, ME. 256 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,204 - CAN I TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE? 257 00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:42,119 - A HOTEL ROOM ON VALENTINE'’S DAY? 258 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,555 MATTY'’S USUAL BONE-US OPERANDI 259 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,166 WAS MORE LIKE THE BACKSEAT OF HIS TRUCK. 260 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:47,255 WAS HE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT GABBY? 261 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:50,606 - LET'’S GO. WE'’RE GONNA MISS THE DANCE. 262 00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:53,348 - DUDE, WHERE ARE OUR PARTY FAVORS? 263 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:57,744 - WEIRD, THAT DIDN'’T TASTE LIKE CANDY. 264 00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:00,747 - OH, MAN, THE VESTAL VIRGIN JUST SNARFED A MOLLY. 265 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:01,791 WHAT A [bleep] WASTE. 266 00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,272 - OR A FANTASTIC EXPERIMENT. 267 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,578 SHE MUST HAVE BEEN HUNGRY FOR SOMETHING TO BE SCAVENGING 268 00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:08,232 ON THE GROUND LIKE A FAMISHED BEAST. 269 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,452 both: HUNGRY! 270 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,236 - GO, GO, GO. - GET IN THERE. 271 00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:14,804 - GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! - GET IN THERE, GET IN THERE. 272 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:17,067 - GO, GO, GO! - WHOO! 273 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:19,766 HOLY JEEZ, IS THAT THE TIME? 274 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,943 I GOT SO SUCKED IN BY YOUR BOOZE BOOBS, I MADE US LATE. 275 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:25,946 [mellow alternative music] 276 00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,382 ♪ 277 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,601 - WE NEED TO LUBRICATE THIS PRUDE PARTY. 278 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,255 - THAT'’S IT, THE BOOZE ON THE BUS. 279 00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:32,953 WE NEED TO LIVEN THIS PLACE UP. 280 00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:35,129 - I'’LL SPREAD THE WORD. NO ONE TURNS DOWN A FREE DRINK. 281 00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:38,045 WE HAVE ENOUGH JUICE TO TURN THIS DUST BOWL INTO A MUD PIE. 282 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,394 [clatter] 283 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,396 - COME ON. - WHAT'’S THE HOLDUP? 284 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,180 WE WERE PROMISED SHOTS. 285 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,793 - WELL, MR. PROMISES MALIBU HERE KILLED THAT DREAM FOR US. 286 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,882 WE'’RE AS DRY AS A DOROTHEA LANGE DESERT-SCAPE. 287 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:51,232 - SORRY! - YEAH, YOU ARE SORRY. 288 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,668 - WOW, HAMILTON. 289 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,452 YOU JUST KEEP FINDING NEW WAYS TO SUCK. 290 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,454 - YEAH! - OUCH. 291 00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:57,978 - LOSER. - I CAN'’T BELIEVE THIS. 292 00:11:57,978 --> 00:11:59,762 - THE WHOLE SCHOOL WANTS TO KILL ME, 293 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,503 AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS "OUCH"? 294 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:04,158 - IT'’S NOT MY FAULT YOUR PARTY BUS WAS A PARTY BUST. 295 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,464 - NO, BUT IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT THE RANKINGS WENT VIRAL, 296 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,423 YET I CONTINUE TO TAKE ALL THE HITS. 297 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,558 - YOU GUYS FEEL LIKE VELVET. 298 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:16,474 IS THAT A GAY THING? both: YES. 299 00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,955 - IF MY DAD IS GAY, 300 00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,652 DOES THAT MEAN THAT I COULD BE GAY? 301 00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,743 LIKE, AM I CARRYING GAY GENES? 302 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,962 - YOU MIGHT BE, IF YOU'’RE LUCKY. 303 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,356 I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER HAD STRONG FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER WOMAN? 304 00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:31,838 - WELL, I LOVE MY MOM 305 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,622 AND MY KINDERGARTEN TEACHER 306 00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:34,797 AND SADIE! 307 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:38,192 - SADIE--GOOD CHOICE. 308 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,411 HER HOTNESS LEVEL HAS REALLY PEAKED THIS YEAR. 309 00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:42,152 - YEAH, AND SHE'’S RIPE FOR THE PICKING. 310 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:44,938 - YOU THINK WE FEEL GOOD? YOU SHOULD TRY SADIE. 311 00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,984 I BET SHE SMELLS LIKE BUBBLE GUM, SHAMPOO, AND PUPPIES! 312 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,204 - I LOVE PUPPIES! 313 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:54,034 - GO OVER AND SEE. 314 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,253 - I HADN'’T SAVED VALENTINE'’S DAY. 315 00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:58,038 I'’D RUINED IT FOR EVERYONE. 316 00:12:58,038 --> 00:12:59,779 - I SWEAR TO GOD, 317 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,391 IF I DON'’T GET LAID TONIGHT, I WILL LAY YOU OUT. 318 00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,785 - THE GREAT REPRESSION WAS TURNING INTO WORLD WAR III, 319 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,351 AND I WAS THE COMMON ENEMY. 320 00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,919 WTFWFDRD? 321 00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,704 WHAT THE [bleep] WOULD FDR DO? 322 00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:16,012 [microphone feedback] all: AWW. 323 00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,753 - ATTENTION, EVERYONE, 324 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:20,930 I'’M SORRY ABOUT THAT STUPID RANKING SYSTEM, 325 00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,932 BUT YOU SHOULDN'’T LET IT RUIN THE DANCE. 326 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,195 - NO, YOU DID THAT FOR US. 327 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:26,501 all: BOO! 328 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,546 - IT'’S VALENTINE'’S DAY: 329 00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:32,202 A TIME FOR ROMANCE, A TIME FOR PASSION, 330 00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:35,075 A TIME FOR PINK... - [yawns] 331 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:38,992 - AND SLIGHTLY DARKER PINK HEARTS... 332 00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,951 - WHY DON'’T YOU HELP HER, MILF SLAYER? 333 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,954 AREN'’T YOU AN EXPERT ON ROMANCE AND PASSION NOW? 334 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,390 - WHY DON'’T YOU? 335 00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:47,739 I THOUGHT YOU WERE HER BEST FRIEND. 336 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:51,047 - A TIME FOR CUDDLING, 337 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:55,312 BEING THE LITTLE SPOON, A TIME-- - YOU SUCK. 338 00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:58,098 - A TIME TO QUIT BEING HARASSHOLES TO JENNA. 339 00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,665 SHE DIDN'’T ACT ALONE IN MAKING THE DUDE DATABASE. 340 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,580 I WAS HER ACCOMPLICE. all: AWW. 341 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:05,845 - AND, UNLIKE HER, I WAS TOO SCARED TO TAKE THE BLAME 342 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,542 UNTIL NOW. 343 00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,761 JENNA HAS DONE EVERYTHING SHE CAN TO MAKE IT UP 344 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,589 TO YOU GUYS TONIGHT, AND I WILL NOT LET 345 00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:13,940 MY LITTLE CUPID LOOK STUPID. NOW, LISTEN UP. 346 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,594 - I KNOW SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE AFRAID 347 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:20,381 TO LET LOOSE FOR FEAR OF BEING RANKED OR CODED, 348 00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:24,385 BUT WHO COULD EVER JUDGE YOU FOR EXPRESSING WHAT'’S IN YOUR HEART? 349 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,604 - OR AT THE VERY LEAST, WHAT'’S IN YOUR PANTS. 350 00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,563 [laughter] - SO COME ON, GET CRAZY, 351 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:32,393 BECAUSE THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF. 352 00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,358 - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'’RE DOING? 353 00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:44,753 - PUPPIES. 354 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,624 [all gasp] 355 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:50,802 - SHE'’S COME UNDONE, BITCHES! 356 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,804 - AND JUST LIKE THAT, THE DAM HAD BURST, 357 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:55,851 AND THE DROUGHT WAS OVER. 358 00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,722 - WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? 359 00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:01,726 - OBJECTIVE REASON AND SOME ILLEGAL DRUGS, I THINK. 360 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:04,164 CAN I SMELL YOUR HAIR? IT'’S SO SHINY. 361 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,165 - UGH! 362 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:06,818 - GOD ISN'’T DEAD. 363 00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:09,909 HE'’S EVERYWHERE. 364 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:14,826 THIS GOD TASTES LIKE GRAPE GUM AND ORANGE SODA. 365 00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,176 - OUR FINEST WORK. 366 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,656 - THAT WAS AMAZING. THANK YOU. 367 00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:22,356 - NO, THANK YOU FOR NOT DEFRIENDING ME THIS WEEK. 368 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,662 I SHOULD'’VE VOLUNTEERED AS TRIBUTE DAYS AGO, 369 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:27,665 BUT I WAS TOO CHICKEN. 370 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,407 BE MINE? - ALWAYS WAS. 371 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,758 [laughter] 372 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:36,196 - OH, MY GOD. - OH, YEAH, WE'’RE TOO LATE. 373 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:38,633 THIS IS LIKE SODOM AND GOMORRAH. 374 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:42,332 - OH, RELAX. 375 00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,073 - CATCH YOU LATER. 376 00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,509 NICE SPEECH. - THANKS. 377 00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,511 BUT YOU'’VE GOT TO GIVE UP THE GOODS. 378 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,078 WHO'’S THE MYSTERY MILF? 379 00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:51,559 - THERE'’S NO MYSTERY. 380 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:55,258 I MET HER ON NEW YEAR'’S, AND WE'’VE BEEN HAVING A GREAT TIME. 381 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,173 MULTIPLE GREAT TIMES. 382 00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,827 THREE IN A ROW, IN FACT. 383 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:01,699 - OH, PLEASE. I'’LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT. 384 00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:05,399 - YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. - GAME ON, ROSATI. 385 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:08,184 BUT YOU ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE TO TAKE ME TO O-TOWN, 386 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:10,882 SO LET'’S DO THIS. - COME ON. 387 00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:12,972 - WATCHING ALL THE HOOKUPS, I COULDN'’T HELP BUT FEEL 388 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,582 A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT. 389 00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:17,237 JUST LIKE FDR, I HAD HELPED USHER IN A NEW DEAL, 390 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,847 AND WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE AIR, 391 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,458 THE DIRTY LOOK MATTY WAS GIVING ME STOOD OUT EVEN MORE. 392 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,720 - WHAT'’S YOUR DEAL? 393 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,592 THAT WHOLE THING BACK THERE ABOUT ME 394 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,681 TAKING YOUR VIRGINITY IN "NEVER HAVE I EVER"? 395 00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,944 - I WAS JUST PLAYING THE GAME. - IN FRONT OF GABBY. 396 00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:30,511 THAT'’S KIND OF AGGRO, DON'’T YOU THINK? 397 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,730 AND WHOSE VIRGINITY DID YOU TAKE? 398 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,994 - YOU DON'’T KNOW HIM. 399 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,560 DON'’T YOU HAVE A HOTEL ROOM TO GET BACK TO? 400 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,519 - I GAVE IT TO A NEEDY PARTY. 401 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,216 NO ROOM FOR ME TONIGHT. 402 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,437 THANKS TO YOUR GAMES, GABBY LEFT. 403 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:47,571 - NOPE, NOPE, 404 00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:51,140 NO WAY. 405 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,577 - OH, I CAN'’T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES KEVIN AND I GOT 406 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,971 KICKED OUT OF DANCES FOR HEAVY PETTING. 407 00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,407 - HEAVY PETTING? 408 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,192 - WELL, HE TRIED TO GO DOWN ON ME. 409 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,846 - SO GODDAMN ROMANTIC. 410 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,501 - YOU CAN'’T SMOKE IN HERE. 411 00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:09,680 ACTUALLY... 412 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,595 YOU KNOW, ONE PUFF WOULDN'’T KILL YOU. 413 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,685 WHY DON'’T YOU JUST STAND RIGHT HERE? 414 00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,905 YEAH. 415 00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,563 SO WHERE'’S YOUR FRIEND? 416 00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,304 YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO'’S ALWAYS COMING INTO MY OFFICE 417 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,262 TO SIGN IN, SO WE DON'’T THINK HE'’S A SEX OFFENDER? 418 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,960 - SERGIO HAD OTHER PLANS. 419 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,528 - HEY, WE'’RE IN THE SAME BOAT, SISTER. 420 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:35,837 HERE'’S TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ON VALENTINE'’S DAY. 421 00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,926 - SADITA! 422 00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:40,059 - SORRY, VAL, CAN'’T JOIN YOU 423 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,757 IN YOUR SPINSTER SUICIDE PACT JUST YET. 424 00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,106 - I CLOSED UP EARLY. 425 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,673 I DON'’T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. 426 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:49,329 YOU'’RE MY VALENTINE, NOT THOSE SAD SINGLES. 427 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,202 - [sighs] WELL, IT'’S OFFICIAL. 428 00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:55,639 I AM THE BIGGEST LOSER HERE. 429 00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:58,816 - I WOULDN'’T SAY THAT. 430 00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:01,471 - WILL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 431 00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,212 I THOUGHT YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN. 432 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:05,432 - PLEASE, I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL 433 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,781 FOR VALENTINE'’S DAY, 434 00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:10,219 SO I DECIDED I'’D KICK IT OLD SCHOOL. 435 00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:11,829 I'’VE BEEN STALKING YOUR ASS ALL NIGHT. 436 00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:15,703 - THAT IS SO ROMANTIC. 437 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:21,752 - SWEET. - MM-HMM. 438 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:22,927 [creaking] - HOW'’S THAT? 439 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,799 - IT'’S--IT'’S FINE. 440 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,757 - AND THAT? - IT'’S OKAY. 441 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,368 - HOW'’S THAT? 442 00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:31,197 - [gasps] THAT'’S GOOD. 443 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,633 - AND THAT? - YES. 444 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,331 - AND THAT? - YEAH. 445 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,855 OH, YEAH! 446 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,030 [all gasp] 447 00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,555 [all cheering] 448 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:54,655 - IT LOOKED LIKE I HAD ENDED THE DROUGHT FOR EVERYONE. 449 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,526 WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE. 450 00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,316 - NOW THAT THE GREAT REPRESSION WAS FINALLY OVER, 451 00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:04,926 PEOPLE WERE TREATING ME THE WAY THEY NORMALLY DID. 452 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:07,885 - THANKS FOR HIRING THAT SHARTY BUS, HAMILTUNA. 453 00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:10,584 LISSA WAS CAUGHT ON THE MOLLY THAT SHE ATE OFF THE FLOOR 454 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,412 OF THAT BEATER AND SUSPENDED FOR TWO WEEKS. 455 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:15,850 NOW YOU CAN ADD "LIFE RUINER" TO YOUR LIST OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS, 456 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:19,070 RIGHT UNDER "SUICIDE GIRL" AND "MOODY SLUT." 457 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:21,160 - LIKE I SAID, PEOPLE WERE TREATING ME THE WAY 458 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,423 THEY NORMALLY DID. 459 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:26,687 - HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN JAKE? - WHAT? 460 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:27,949 I THOUGHT YOU SAID WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DANCE 461 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,342 WAS A ONE-TIME THING. 462 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,213 - OH, THE REMIX TO "TAMARA NEVER COMES" 463 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:34,390 WAS DEFINITELY A SINGLE BUT CERTAINLY A CHART TOPPER. 464 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:37,045 OH, THERE HE IS. 465 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,438 - CAN WE NOT? 466 00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:39,439 MATTY'’S MAD AT ME. 467 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,267 - UH, CAN YOU BLAME HIM? 468 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,139 BRINGING UP YOUR SOPHOMORIC SEXNANIGANS IN FRONT OF GABBY 469 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:45,140 WAS NOT YOUR BEST MOMENT. 470 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,750 - TAMARA WAS RIGHT. 471 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,013 I HAD TOLD MYSELF I WAS GIVING EVERYONE A NEW DEAL, 472 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,973 BUT WHAT I'’D GIVEN MATTY WAS MORE LIKE A RAW DEAL. 473 00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:55,150 HEY, I JUST WANT TO SAY I'’M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED 474 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,760 ON THE BUS. 475 00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,242 NEVER HAVE I EVER ACTED LIKE SUCH AN IMMATURE IDIOT. 476 00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:03,463 - ACTUALLY, THE STRIPPER POLE FAIL ALMOST MAKES UP FOR IT. 477 00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:05,116 NO, I'’M SORRY TOO. 478 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,815 I WAS PRETTY DICKISH ABOUT IT, BUT I WAS JUST MAD. 479 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,382 - IS GABBY MAD? 480 00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,949 - NO, NO, SHE JUST WANTS TO TAKE THINGS A LITTLE SLOW. 481 00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:15,257 - WELL, NOT EVERYONE CAN MOVE AS FAST AS I CAN. 482 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,041 - YEAH, I DON'’T THINK WE'’LL BE HITTING THAT GEAR 483 00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,042 FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 484 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,261 - SO SHE IS MAD? 485 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,437 - NO, SHE'’S A VIRGIN. 486 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:30,098 WHICH I RESPECT, AND SOME THINGS ARE JUST WORTH WAITING FOR. 487 00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,100 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 488 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,581 - MATTY, OVER HERE. 489 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,322 - I DID KNOW WHAT HE MEANT. 490 00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:38,759 GABBY WAS WORTH WAITING FOR, 491 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,630 AND I HADN'’T BEEN. 492 00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,376 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 493 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,683 - AW, A CUPCAKE! LAKER TICKETS, HOLY [bleep]. 494 00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:50,858 - I'’M THROWING A LITTLE SURPRISE PARTY 495 00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,599 FOR MATTY LATER-- YOU SHOULD COME. 496 00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:55,341 - GABBY WAS A FIERCE COMPETITOR, BUT I COULD BE TOO. 497 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,647 I WAS GONNA BE SO [bleep] FRIENDLY, IT HURT. 498 00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:59,083 MY PLANS TONIGHT GOT CANCELED, 499 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,694 AND I CAN DEFINITELY COME TO THE PARTY. 500 00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,304 - SURPRISE! 501 00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,001 THAT LOOKS LIKE... both: TAMARA AND SADIE! 37890

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