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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:03,960 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... - IT'’S YOU. 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,135 IT'’S OVER, TAMARA. 3 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,615 - JAKE, NO. 4 00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:07,877 - I'’LL SEE YOU THEN. 5 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,183 - THAT GIRL'’S A STRAIGHT-UP CREEPER. 6 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,445 - I LEFT BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU UP THERE 7 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:11,663 WAS KIND OF ROUGH. 8 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:21,891 - I COULDN'’T FIGURE OUT STANDARD DEVIATIONS 9 00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,588 FOR THE LIFE OF ME, BUT THERE WAS ONE FORMULA 10 00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:24,763 I WAS FINALLY GETTING THE HANG OF-- 11 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,809 THE FORMULA FOR MOVING ON. 12 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,029 ONE SPECTACULAR SENIOR YEAR WITH MY FRIENDS 13 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,726 PLUS ONE AMAZING NEW BOYFRIEND 14 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:34,338 MINUS ABSOLUTELY ZERO LINGERING FEELINGS FOR MATTY 15 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,079 EQUALS ME READY TO START A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE. 16 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:41,911 - OKAY, BABE, BREAK TIME'’S OVER. 17 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:44,696 BACK TO THE RIVETING WORLD OF STATISTICS. 18 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,263 SO FOR EACH NUMBER IN THE FORMULA, 19 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,526 YOU SUBTRACT THE MEAN AND DO WHAT? 20 00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,963 - I HAVE NO IDEA. WANT TO MAKE OUT? 21 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:51,877 - UH-HUH. 22 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,535 - HEY, KIDS, DO YOU WANT SOME DESSER-- 23 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,363 - JESUS! 24 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,713 SOMEONE NEEDS A TUTORIAL ON KNOCKING. 25 00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:02,932 - I AM SO SORRY, SWEETIE. 26 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,238 I'’M JUST GONNA BE A BAD PARENT 27 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,369 AND PRETEND I DIDN'’T SEE ANY OF THIS. 28 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,458 JUST PROMISE ME YOU'’LL BE CAREFUL, 29 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,242 BECAUSE IF YOU'’VE LEARNED ONE THING 30 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,460 FROM YOUR FATHER AND ME, 31 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,940 IT'’S THAT IT ONLY TAKES ONE THRUST 32 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,420 FOR SOMEONE TO BECOME A TEEN MOM. 33 00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,902 - THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING. 34 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:18,121 - [clears throat] 35 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,080 - NOW, WHERE WERE WE? 36 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,385 - UH, IT'’S GETTING PRETTY LATE. 37 00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,300 SHOULD WE JUST PICK THIS UP NEXT TIME? 38 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,519 - GOOD IDEA. 39 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,564 NO MORE DISTRACTIONS. 40 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,958 - IT'’S BEEN A PLEASURE BEING YOUR MATH TUTOR. 41 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,830 I ACCEPT PAYMENT IN THE FORM OF VISA, MASTERCARD, 42 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,920 OR, IN YOUR CASE, A REALLY EXCELLENT KISS. 43 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,314 - MY FORMULA FOR MOVING ON SEEMED TO BE WORKING OUT GREAT. 44 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,620 WHEN I KISSED LUKE, 45 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,665 ALL I SAW WAS MY PRESENT AND MY FUTURE... 46 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:43,886 AND MATTY? 47 00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:46,671 ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE I NEEDED TO GET MY EYES CHECKED. 48 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:50,327 [keys clacking, loud thud] 49 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,460 - HEY. 50 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,549 SORRY TO INTERRUPT. - MATTY, RIGHT? 51 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,985 GREAT TO MEET YOU. I'’M LUKE. 52 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,726 - YEAH, I KNOW. HEY. 53 00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,554 - MATTY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 54 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:02,470 I THOUGHT YOU'’D BE ON LOCKDOWN AFTER THE MR. PHHS PAGEANT. 55 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:03,732 - YEAH, I'’M GROUNDED FOR LIFE, 56 00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,125 BUT WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO, 57 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,343 ADD ANOTHER DAY FOR SNEAKING OUT? 58 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:09,041 ANYWAY, I'’M HERE ON BUSINESS. 59 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,566 - OH, THE BF/GF/BFF CONCERT. 60 00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,569 - BF/GF/BFF IS THE NAME OF A BAND? 61 00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,527 - NO, IT'’S NOT. IT'’S A-- 62 00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:17,659 NEVER MIND. 63 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,748 I'’M SORRY. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. 64 00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,228 - SAME. 65 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,230 NO CLUE WHAT JAKE AND TAMARA ARE DOING WITH THEIRS, 66 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,667 BUT I FIGURED YOU COULD HAVE MINE AND-- 67 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,886 I DON'’T KNOW-- TAKE LUKE IF YOU WANT. 68 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:31,673 - THANKS, MAN, BUT I HAVE MIDTERMS THIS WEEKEND. 69 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,936 WHY DON'’T YOU GUYS JUST GO TOGETHER? 70 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,242 - SERIOUSLY? YOU WOULDN'’T MIND? 71 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,765 - NOT AT ALL. 72 00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,462 YOU SHOULDN'’T MISS A SHOW YOU ALREADY PAID FOR. 73 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,203 - I AM DOWN IF YOU ARE. 74 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,250 - SURE. WHY NOT? 75 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:46,340 IT WAS GREAT BEING WITH A SECURE, MATURE COLLEGE GUY. 76 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,037 ONLY SOME HIGH SCHOOL SPAZ WOULD MAKE 77 00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:50,822 A BIG DEAL OUT OF A COUPLE OF STUPID CONCERT TICKETS. 78 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:53,999 - THESE CONCERT TICKETS ARE A BIG FREAKIN'’ DEAL, ROSATI! 79 00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,479 YOU DON'’T EVEN DESERVE TO LOOK AT THEM! 80 00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:56,741 - OH, OKAY, I CAN'’T LOOK AT THEM. 81 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:57,873 - NO, YOU CAN'’T LOOK AT THEM. 82 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,180 - UGH. - THIS FOOTAGE IS FANTASTIC. 83 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,442 - WHY ARE YOU GUYS FILMING THIS? 84 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,312 - WE'’RE MAKING A DOCUMENTARY CALLED 85 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,966 STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE BASIC. 86 00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,489 YOU'’D BE SO GREAT IN IT! 87 00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:06,925 - OH, NO, NO. 88 00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,275 GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 89 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,277 - WOULD ANYONE BE INTERESTED 90 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:13,062 IN EITHER JAKE OR TAMARA'’S TICKET TO ECHOSMITH? 91 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,672 THERE'’S NO WAY THEY'’RE BOTH GOING. 92 00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:17,371 - OH, PICK ME. PICK ME, PLEASE. 93 00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:20,025 OH, PLEASE, HAMILTACKY. 94 00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,984 EVEN IF AUSTIN AND I DIDN'’T ALREADY HAVE TICKETS, 95 00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,551 I'’D NEVER BE DESPERADO ENOUGH 96 00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,031 TO TAKE YOUR FRIENDS'’ SLOPPY SECONDS. 97 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,599 - I BELIEVED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD THREE PET DINGOES 98 00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:30,601 AND A VACATION HOME IN THE OUTBACK! 99 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,516 DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILIATING THAT IS? 100 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:35,519 - OMG, DID YOU HEAR THAT? - HEAR WHAT? 101 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,956 - THAT'’S THE SOUND OF ME NOT GIVING A FLYING [bleep]. 102 00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,480 all: OH. 103 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,525 - THANK GOD WE WERE NEVER THAT BAD. 104 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,961 I'’M SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE LUKE AND I 105 00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,876 MID-MAKE-OUT LAST NIGHT. 106 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:46,443 - WELL, JENNA, IT'’S NOT LIKE IT WAS THE FIRST TIME. 107 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:49,185 - OUCH. TOTALLY TRUE, BUT OUCH. 108 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,274 - LUKE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY, THOUGH. 109 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,537 I'’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. 110 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,626 [sighs] 111 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:58,368 IT IS HARD TO FIND A PERSON OF QUALITY AROUND HERE. 112 00:03:58,368 --> 00:03:59,674 TRUST ME. 113 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,458 - YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'’LL WRITE ANOTHER SONG 114 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,374 AND CALL IT MY CRAZY EX TALKS LIKE A SPEED FREAK 115 00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,115 NO JK, LOL. 116 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:09,423 - HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT WITHOUT YOUR PRECIOUS HARMONICA? 117 00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:14,689 all: OH! 118 00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:15,646 - AW. 119 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,650 I DIDN'’T DO ANYTHING WRONG, EXCEPT DATE A PSYCHOPATH 120 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,609 WHO CAN DO A CONVINCING AUSTRALIAN ACCENT. 121 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:24,786 - WHEN YOU SPEAK, I WANT TO DIE, JUST FYI. 122 00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,092 - STOP IT! STOP IT! YOU'’VE BOTH BEEN ACTING CRAZY. 123 00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,964 IT IS TIME THAT YOU LEARN A THING OR TWO 124 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:32,359 FROM YOUR FRIENDS/MODEL EXES JENNA AND MATTY. 125 00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,448 THESE TWO HAVE MANAGED 126 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,145 TO MAINTAIN THE PEACE EVEN AFTER JENNA 127 00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,842 CRUELLY CHEATED ON HIM 128 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,280 AND FELL DOWN A RABBIT HOLE OF SIN. 129 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,586 SMASH-CUT TO THE BRUTAL IRONY OF THIS YEAR-- 130 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,501 JENNA IS NOW DATING A HOT COLLEGE STUD, 131 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,721 AND MATTY IS STILL SINGLE AND ALONE. 132 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,244 - I'’M--I'’M FINE, ACTUALLY. 133 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,245 - SHH. DON'’T SPEAK. 134 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,594 WHAT I'’M TRYING TO SAY 135 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,857 IS THAT THESE TWO HAVE A MILLION REASONS 136 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,250 WHY THEY SHOULD BE PUTTING UP THEIR DUKES 137 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,078 IN THE QUAD, BUT THEY ARE CHOOSING 138 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,079 TO BE MATURE. 139 00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,733 - FINE. YOU WANT MATURITY? 140 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,952 I'’M GIVING UP MY TICKET. HAVE FUN AT THE CONCERT. 141 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,302 - YAY! THAT MEANS I WIN. 142 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:04,826 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, STOP! 143 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,219 DO YOU GUYS, UH, KNOW ANYONE 144 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,047 WHO MIGHT WANT JAKE'’S TICKET? 145 00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:11,659 '’CAUSE I THINK I KNOW A GIRL WHO COULD REALLY USE 146 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,791 A NIGHT OF LOVE, LAUGHTER, AND MUSIC. 147 00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,404 TALKING ABOUT ME. 148 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,231 - VAL WAS RIGHT. 149 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,233 IT WASN'’T FAIR THAT I WAS IN A SOLID RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKE 150 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,931 WHILE MATTY WAS GETTING HIT ON BY GIRLS 151 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,454 WHO DIDN'’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL "MONOGAMY." 152 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:26,282 HE DESERVED BETTER. 153 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,718 - NOW THAT MY EX HAS EXED HIMSELF 154 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,198 OUT OF OUR PLANS, WHO SHOULD WE INVITE? 155 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,460 - I'’M COOL WITH WHOEVER. 156 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:33,289 I'’LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER. 157 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,247 - THIS IS GONNA SOUND WEIRD, 158 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:38,207 BUT I KIND OF WISH MATTY HAD A GIRL TO BRING TO THE CONCERT. 159 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,991 - HOLD THE IPHONE. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 160 00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,429 - SEEING MATTY MOVE ON LIKE I HAVE WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY. 161 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,908 - I CALL BLUFFNANIGANS, JENNA. 162 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,954 NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEIR EX DATE OTHER PEOPLE. 163 00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:48,391 - I DO. I WANT MATTY TO DATE. - REALLY? 164 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:49,653 WELL, IF YOU'’RE SO SURE, 165 00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:50,915 WHY DON'’T YOU SET HIM UP YOURSELF? 166 00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,830 - MAYBE I WILL. GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS? 167 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:57,444 - AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO. 168 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,923 EVA. 169 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,534 SHE'’S SO DOWN-TO-EARTH AND NONTHREATENING. 170 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,535 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 171 00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,884 - SETTING UP MATTY 172 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,320 WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST GIRLS IN SCHOOL 173 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,756 WOULDN'’T BE MY FIRST CHOICE... 174 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,628 OR SECOND OR 90TH. 175 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,107 - SEE? I TOLD YOU, JENNA. 176 00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:11,545 PUT A TBD ON YOUR NBD ATTITUDE. 177 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,937 - YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'’RE WRONG. 178 00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,243 HEY, EVA. 179 00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:17,028 - MOTHER "F," I WASN'’T SERIOUS. 180 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:19,248 - HEY, GIRLS. YOU BOTH LOOK SUPER CHIC TODAY. 181 00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:20,554 WHAT'’S UP? - I WAS WONDERING. 182 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,860 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LIVE MUSIC? 183 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,913 - WOW! WHAT A COOL CAR, TAMARA. 184 00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,568 JUST REMIND ME TO PUT A PAPER BAG OVER MY HEAD 185 00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,178 WHEN WE ROLL UP TO THE VENUE, OKAY? 186 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,528 - PRESS PAUSE ON THE UNGRATE HATE, SADIE. 187 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,182 WOULD YOU RATHER BE DRIVING YOUR WIENERMOBILE 188 00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:42,358 TO THE CONCERT? 189 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,447 - YOU'’RE SHOWING VISIBLE SIGNS OF DISCOMFORT. 190 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:47,189 BACK MASSAGE COMMENCES NOW. 191 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:49,017 - NOW THAT I HAD ACCEPTED TAMARA'’S CHALLENGE 192 00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,714 AND GOTTEN MATTY AND EVA TOGETHER, 193 00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:53,282 IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO DO A LITTLE MASSAGING OF MY OWN. 194 00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:55,110 I LOVE YOUR DRESS, EVA. - OH, THANKS. 195 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,982 IT WAS A GIFT FROM AN OLD FRIEND--ALEXANDER WANG. 196 00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,027 - UGH. - TOO STRONG? 197 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,637 - TOO DESPERATE. 198 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,385 - YOU KNOW, YOU TWO LOOK REALLY GOOD TOGETHER. 199 00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,431 - OH, YOU THINK? 200 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,389 - EXCUSE ME. OH, SORRY. 201 00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:16,479 HEY, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 202 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:17,872 - I JUST WANT YOU TO HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT-- 203 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,395 NO HIDDEN AGENDA. 204 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:22,442 - OKAY, WELL, YOU'’RE BEING WEIRD, BUT OKAY. 205 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,269 - PLAYING MATCHMAKER WITH AN EX 206 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,576 PROVES YOU'’VE GONE FROM POINT "A" TO POINT CRAY. 207 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,186 - I'’M NOT CRAZY. 208 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,101 MAYBE ONCE YOU FINALLY GET OVER JAKE, YOU'’LL UNDERSTAND. 209 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,625 - PLEASE. I'’M SO OVER JAKE. 210 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,627 - CAN WE GO? 211 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,803 - ♪ WE WALK LIKE THERE'’S NOTHING WRONG ♪ 212 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:44,464 ♪ 213 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,161 - RUDE. GIVE IT BACK. 214 00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,902 - CAN YOU NOT LOOK AT YOUR PHONE WHILE DRIVING? 215 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,338 YOU ARE WAY TOO OBSESSED WITH JAKE. 216 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,644 IT'’S NOT HEALTHY. 217 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,689 - PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE HERE HAS ALCOHOL. 218 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,909 IF I HAVE TO SHARE THIS GROSS OXYGEN POOL 219 00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,954 WITH YOU LOSERS, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO 220 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,565 IS GET ME DRUNK SO I DON'’T REMEMBER IT. 221 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,131 - I LEFT MY FLASK AT HOME, 222 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,785 BUT WE CAN GET DRINKS WITH OUR FAKES AT THE SHOW. 223 00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,308 - NO ONE HERE HAS A FAKE. 224 00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,615 - [clears throat] I DO. 225 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,707 - MATTY, THIS WON'’T EVEN GET YOU INTO AN R-RATED MOVIE. 226 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,666 IT'’S OKAY; WE CAN STOP BY THIS PLACE DOWNTOWN. 227 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,189 THEY DO FAKES ON THE QUICK. 228 00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,408 I GOT MY FIRST I.D. THERE WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 15. 229 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,628 - YOU TOLD US YOU WERE AT BOARDING SCHOOL 230 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:21,065 IN SWITZERLAND WHEN YOU WERE 15. 231 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:24,155 - LE ROSEY, YES, AND I WAS DATING A DJ IN L.A. 232 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,853 THAT WOULD FLY ME OUT ON THE WEEKENDS AND STUFF. 233 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,942 - FROM SWITZERLAND? 234 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,205 - A COUPLE OF XANNIES ON THE PLANE, 235 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:31,815 AND THE DISTANCE FEELS LIKE NOTHING. 236 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,034 - THE SHOW'’S GONNA START SOON. 237 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,252 DO WE REALLY HAVE TO DO ALL THIS WORK 238 00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,253 FOR JUST A COUPLE DRINKS? 239 00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,733 - OH, COME ON, JENNA. 240 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,518 WE ALL KNOW YOU ROLL WITH THE OLDER CROWD NOW. 241 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,042 BUT US CHILDREN, WE STILL GOT TO FEND FOR OURSELVES. 242 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,304 - OKAY, WHATEVER, I'’LL TAKE US. 243 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,828 JUST PUT THE ADDRESS IN MY GPS. 244 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:50,399 - ♪ WE WALK, WE WALK, WE WALK LIKE NOTHING'’S WRONG ♪ 245 00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:53,054 ♪ WE WALK LIKE THERE'’S NOTHING WRONG ♪ 246 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,838 [siren wailing] 247 00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,927 - EVA, YOU NEGLECTED TO TELL US THIS PLACE 248 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,364 WAS ON THE CORNER OF HEP C AND RAPE. 249 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,844 - OH, IT'’S FINE. WE CAN PARK HERE. 250 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:01,889 SERIOUSLY, I'’VE PARKED HERE ALL THE TIME. 251 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,238 IT'’S NEVER BEEN A PROBLEM. 252 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,761 - EVA, YOU'’VE BEEN EVERYWHERE, 253 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,241 AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. 254 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:08,896 WOULD YOU PLEASE CONSIDER BEING MY LIFE COACH? 255 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,593 - SURE, I'’M ALWAYS HAPPY TO HELP THOSE IN NEED. 256 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,424 SADIE, CAN WE TALK FOR A SEC? 257 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,208 - UGH. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 258 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,776 - I HAVE THIS GREAT PHOTO OF YOU FOR YOUR I.D. 259 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:25,956 - NICE TRY, YOU SKETCHY SKITCH. 260 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,306 NOTHING HAPPENED THAT NIGHT, AND YOU KNOW IT. 261 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,004 - I KNOW. 262 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,875 IT JUST KIND OF LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING DID. 263 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,574 I WONDER WHAT AUSTIN WOULD THINK. 264 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,576 - YOU WOULDN'’T DARE. 265 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,055 - PROBABLY NOT. 266 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,796 BUT IF YOU'’RE AT ALL WORRIED, 267 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:42,103 YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT BEING WAY LESS BITCHY TO ME. 268 00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:45,106 [rock music] 269 00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:52,200 ♪ 270 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,376 - YOU FOLKS LOST? 271 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,944 PINKBERRY'’S DOWN THE STREET. 272 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,816 - HEY, BABE. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? 273 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,079 WE'’RE HERE FOR I.D.s. 274 00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:05,387 - WHITE BREAD, PERMA-SCOWL, YOU TWO, 275 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,954 IN THE BACK, NOW! 276 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,129 - YES, SIR. 277 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:17,225 - JENNA, JUST SO I'’M CLEAR ABOUT WHAT'’S GOING ON, 278 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:20,532 DID YOU INVITE ME TO THE CONCERT TO SET ME UP WITH MATTY? 279 00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,839 - NOT EXACTLY, BUT IF YOU'’RE INTO MATTY, 280 00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,580 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'’D BE TOTALLY COOL WITH IT. 281 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,321 - SERIOUSLY? 282 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,149 - YEAH, IT'’S CLEAR YOU GUYS HAVE CHEMISTRY, 283 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,586 AND I DON'’T WANT TO GET IN THE WAY OF THAT. 284 00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,849 - I'’M SO RELIEVED YOU'’RE NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS 285 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,111 THAT'’S PSYCHO ABOUT HER EX. 286 00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:35,547 YOU'’RE AWESOME. 287 00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,636 [camera shutter clicks] 288 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,509 - WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR NAME TO BE? 289 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,206 - AUSTIN WELCH. - NO, AUSTIN. 290 00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,252 YOU HAVE TO CREATE A FAKE NAME. 291 00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:48,648 - BUT THAT WOULD BE LYING. - DUH, THAT'’S THE POINT. 292 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,607 - AUSTIN S. WELCH. 293 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:52,652 [camera shutter clicks] 294 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,655 [tattoo needle buzzing] 295 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,395 - THAT LOOKS SO PAINFUL. 296 00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,832 - GETTING THEM REMOVED HURTS MORE. 297 00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,747 - REALLY? - YEAH. 298 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,444 WHEN I GOT RID OF ALL MY TATTOOS LAST YEAR, 299 00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,967 I HAD TO DRINK STRAIGHT TEQUILA TO GET THROUGH IT. 300 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,316 - WHY'’D YOU GET RID OF THEM? 301 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,275 - THINGS CHANGE. YOU NEED TO CLEANSE. 302 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,539 - SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I NEED TO DO WITH MY TATTOO. 303 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,845 - DOUBTFUL. 304 00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,455 I BET IT'’S SEXY. SHOW ME. 305 00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:15,936 - [sighs] 306 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,768 - OH, THAT'’S AN EASY FIX. 307 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:24,248 "4 EVA," SEE? 308 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,728 - WELL, THAT WAS QUICK. 309 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,251 WITH JUST A TOUCH OF HER PALM, 310 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,471 EVA HAD FOUND A WAY TO ERASE MY PAST WITH MATTY, 311 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,081 NOT THAT IT BOTHERED ME. 312 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,693 MATTY'’S AND MY HISTORY WAS EXACTLY THAT--HISTORY. 313 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:41,222 - YO, PROM KING AND QUEEN, 314 00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,049 FRONT AND CENTER. 315 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,229 - HEY, DROP THE PHONE. 316 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,796 - JAKE JUST TWEETED THAT HE'’S IN A HOT TUB 317 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,145 MACKIN'’ ON SOME GROUPIES. 318 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,277 WTF? 319 00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,584 I'’M THE ONLY GIRL HE SHOULDN'’T BE GIVING ORGASMS TO. 320 00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:58,326 [cell phone clicking] 321 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,122 STOP IT! 322 00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:14,821 YOU'’RE BEING A BUGABOO, JENNA. I'’M FINE. 323 00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,301 - DO YOU THINK MATTY'’S UPSET WITH ME FOR SETTING HIM UP? 324 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,650 I MIGHT HAVE JUMPED THE GUN ON THIS. 325 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,786 - FURIOUS. HE MIGHT NEVER GET OVER IT. 326 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:27,181 - YOU GUYS, GUESS WHAT NAMES WE CHOSE FOR OUR I.D.s. 327 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:30,271 WILLIAM AND KATE, BECAUSE, DUH, WE'’RE ROYALTY. 328 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,707 - WOW. HOW ROMANTIC. 329 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,491 WHOA! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? 330 00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,624 MY PLAN TO MAKE MATTY HAPPY WAS WORKING. 331 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:38,453 SO WHY WAS I SUDDENLY FEELING SO UNHAPPY? 332 00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:40,498 IT'’S NOT LIKE I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM. 333 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:43,806 HOLY [bleep], I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM. 334 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:44,981 - LET'’S TEST THESE BABIES 335 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,417 AT THE LIQUOR STORE DOWN THE STREET. 336 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,418 - WE'’RE ALREADY LATE. LET'’S JUST GO. 337 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,203 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 338 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,073 I'’D ACTUALLY LOVE TO GET A BOTTLE OF THIS ROSE 339 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,249 THAT LUKE TURNED ME ON TO. 340 00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:55,209 - EVA, WOULD YOU BE UP FOR SOME CLASSY PBR? 341 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,646 - IT'’S MY FAVORITE. - UGH. FINE. GO. 342 00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:58,995 BUT I'’M STAYING HERE. 343 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,475 I WOULD HAVE TO LATHER MYSELF IN PURELL 344 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:01,998 BEFORE STEPPING INTO THAT ETCH-A-SKETCH PLACE. 345 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,568 [cell phone clicking] 346 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,489 - EXCUSE ME. 347 00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,882 DO YOU HAVE THE TIME? - EW! 348 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,231 DO YOU NOT OWN A CELL PHONE? 349 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,406 - I DO NOW. 350 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:19,711 - [gasps] OH, NO, YOU DON'’T! 351 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,452 THIS PHONE IS MY LIFELINE! 352 00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,977 MY TEXTS, MY MUSIC, MY CONTACTS, MY PHOTOS, 353 00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,674 MY TWITTER, MY PINTEREST, 354 00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:28,155 AND MY COMPREHENSIVE NOTES DEDICATING MY FIVE-YEAR PLAN! 355 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,765 BACK OFF, BITCH! 356 00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,114 - HEY, LET YOUR PHONE GO! 357 00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:32,986 - THANKS. 358 00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,422 - I HAD IT UNDER CONTROL, JENNA. 359 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,293 - NO, YOU DIDN'’T. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. 360 00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:39,166 - ACTUALLY, SHE HAS MULTIPLES. 361 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,821 YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED. 362 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,474 - STOP! 363 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,649 MY FRIEND SAID IT WAS OKAY TO PARK HERE! 364 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,869 - I SAID IT'’S USUALLY OKAY. 365 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,262 - PLEASE CAN I HAVE MY CAR BACK? 366 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,264 - CONSIDER IT FOR $200. 367 00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:51,743 - GUYS, PUT ALL YOUR MONEY IN, NOW. 368 00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,882 - THANKS. - HEY! I THOUGHT YOU SAID-- 369 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,753 - SAID I WOULD CONSIDER IT. 370 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,365 - WHAT? 371 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,671 [engine turning over] 372 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,631 GUESS WE'’LL NEVER FORGET THIS FIRST DATE. 373 00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:10,850 - THAT MADE THE THREE OF US. 374 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,422 - JUST SO YOU KNOW, I ONLY CAME BECAUSE OF MATTY. 375 00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,642 - SORRY TO PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR GROUPIE ORGY. 376 00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:22,731 HOPE YOU DISINFECTED BEFORE YOU CAME. 377 00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:24,776 OR SHOULD I SAY AFTER? 378 00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,082 - [clears throat] 379 00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,521 - OH, AM I CRUSHING YOU? - NAH, YOU FEEL GREAT. 380 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,567 - WOW, GLAD YOU TWO ARE ENJOYING YOURSELVES 381 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,917 AFTER OUR FRIEND GOT MUGGED AND WE LOST ALL OUR MONEY. 382 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,050 - IS THERE A PROBLEM, JENNA? - I COULDN'’T SAY. 383 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,312 IN MY QUEST TO MOVE ON FROM MATTY, 384 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,879 I HAD ENDED UP WHERE I STARTED-- 385 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,881 A JEALOUS, INSECURE WRECK. 386 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,187 NO. NO PROBLEM AT ALL. 387 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,102 - LET'’S GIVE EVA A ROUND OF APPLAUSE 388 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:49,671 FOR ALL HER GENIUS IDEAS THAT GOT US INTO THIS HELLHOLE. 389 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:50,802 - [clapping] 390 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:51,629 [cell phone chimes] 391 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,634 - OH, WHAT'’S THAT? - IT'’S NOTHING. 392 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,201 KEEP CLAPPING. 393 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,029 - [clapping] 394 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:07,602 - YOUR THREATS DON'’T SCARE ME, EVA. 395 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:10,257 AUSTIN AND I DON'’T HAVE A TYPICAL RELATIONSHIP. 396 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,824 IF YOU HAVEN'’T NOTICED, HE'’S A LITTLE DIFFERENT. 397 00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:18,178 I CAN BE HONEST WITH HIM ABOUT ANYTHING, 398 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,875 SO YOUR LITTLE PLAN TO BLACKMAIL ME 399 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,138 IS AS USELESS AS YOU ARE. 400 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,795 - IT'’S GOING TO COST YOU $400 TO GET IT OUT OF THE IMPOUND. 401 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,623 - JAKE, YOU PAY FOR IT. 402 00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:29,972 CONSIDER IT MY SETTLEMENT IN THE JAKARA BREAKUP. 403 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,452 - NO, I'’M DONE. 404 00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:32,975 I DON'’T CARE ENOUGH TO FIGHT YOU ANYMORE. 405 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,022 - T, CAN WE SIDEBAR? 406 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,675 YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP IT WITH JAKE. 407 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,721 YOU'’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. - OH, PLEASE, JENNA. 408 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,549 EVER SINCE MATTY AND EVA STARTED HITTING IT OFF, 409 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,899 YOU'’VE BEEN GUZZLING DOWN HATERADE. 410 00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,901 AT LEAST I'’M OWNING MY CRAZY INSTEAD OF LEASING IT. 411 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,121 - [giggles] 412 00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,781 - SO DO WE MAKE OUT NOW? 413 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,740 - NOT YET. I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 414 00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,266 - OH, I HAVEN'’T SEEN THIS PHOTO OF YOU BEFORE. 415 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,138 YOUR SKIN LOOKS BEAUTIFUL. 416 00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:07,401 OH, AND THERE'’S MATTY. 417 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:10,360 - IT WAS TAKEN ONE NIGHT AFTER WE HAD FALLEN ASLEEP TOGETHER-- 418 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,754 TOTALLY INNOCENT, NOTHING HAPPENED. 419 00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,538 - OKAY. GREAT. 420 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,718 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'’RE GONNA PUKE. 421 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,155 - MATTY AND I KISSED, OKAY? 422 00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,026 AND IT MEANT NOTHING, AND I PROMISE 423 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,072 IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 424 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:30,076 [sighs] I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. 425 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,121 - I'’M REALLY GLAD YOU TOLD ME. 426 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,775 - REALLY? I WAS NERVOUS. 427 00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:35,733 BUT I KNEW YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND. 428 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,954 - OH, I UNDERSTAND. 429 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,738 YOU'’RE A LIAR, AND I NEED TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. 430 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,480 - WHAT? AUSTIN, I DIDN'’T LIE. 431 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,178 I'’M TELLING YOU NOW. 432 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:46,962 - YOU LIED WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE MONOGAMOUS, 433 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,269 AND YOU JUST LIED AGAIN BY SAYING THAT YOU DIDN'’T LIE. 434 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:51,097 - AUSTIN, YOU'’RE GETTING THIS TOTALLY TWISTED. 435 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,446 - WHEN SOMEONE LIES ABOUT FIDELITY 436 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,056 IN A RELATIONSHIP, THE PROBABILITY 437 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,232 THAT THEY'’LL LIE AGAIN GOES UP BY MORE THAN 80%. 438 00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,842 - I'’M NOT SOME STATISTIC. 439 00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,062 I'’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND. I JUST NEED TO-- 440 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,890 - I'’M SORRY, BUT THIS IS ABOUT WHAT I NEED, 441 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,848 AND THAT'’S 100% CERTAINTY THAT YOU WON'’T BETRAY MY TRUST. 442 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,372 - I CAN GIVE YOU THAT. 443 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,895 JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO PROVE IT. 444 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:09,028 - BUT THAT'’S THE PROBLEM, SADIE. 445 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,986 YOU'’VE ALREADY PROVEN TO ME THAT YOU CAN'’T. 446 00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:18,428 - HALLELUJAH! WE ARE FREE. 447 00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,560 THEY ARE FINALLY RELEASING MY CAR FROM CAPTIVITY. 448 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,170 - HOW? 449 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:24,043 - MY EXPERT NEGOTIATION SKILLS, OBVI. 450 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,132 MY GRANDMOTHER LET ME CHARGE IT TO HER CREDIT CARD. 451 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:28,351 - ARE YOU OKAY, SADIE? 452 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,745 WHERE'’S AUSTIN? 453 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,747 - MATTY, CAN I TALK TO YOU BEFORE WE GO? 454 00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,967 - SURE. 455 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,840 - I'’M SORRY IF I WAS RUDE TONIGHT. 456 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,408 I THOUGHT I WOULD BE COOL WITH SEEING YOU DATE OTHER PEOPLE, 457 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,105 BUT IT BOTHERED ME MORE THAN I THOUGHT. 458 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,628 - I NOTICED. 459 00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,936 - I PROMISE NOT TO INTERFERE WITH YOU OR EVA. 460 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,112 YOU TWO HAVE MY BLESSING TO BE TOGETHER. 461 00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:53,376 - YOUR BLESSING? ARE YOU SERIOUS? 462 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,770 DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS? 463 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,554 SHOULD I HAVE GIVEN YOU MY BLESSING 464 00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,295 WHEN YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH COLIN LAST YEAR 465 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:01,906 OR MAYBE WHEN YOU STARTED TO DATE LUKE? 466 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:04,300 WE DON'’T NEED EACH OTHER'’S BLESSINGS, JENNA. 467 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,475 WE'’RE NOT TOGETHER. 468 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:09,262 HEY, LET'’S GO. 469 00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,219 EVA, YOU GONNA COME WITH? 470 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,310 - [mouths words] 471 00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,793 - JENNA, WE'’RE GONE, BABY, GONE. 472 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,142 COME ON. 473 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,668 - HEY! GET OUT OF MY CAR, MAN! 474 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,496 JESUS! 475 00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:27,236 YOU TOO! 476 00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:39,205 - CLOSE CALL, BOYS. 477 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,554 - BUMMER. 478 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,251 WE DIDN'’T EVEN GET TO SEE ECHOSMITH PLAY. 479 00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,340 - AT LEAST WE GOT SOME FAKE I.D.s OUT OF IT. 480 00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,168 - OH, YOU GUYS GOT FAKES? LET ME SEE. 481 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,952 - I'’LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS. 482 00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,174 "JOHN SMITH"? 483 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,915 JAKE, THIS IS SO LAME. 484 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:56,439 - OH, WHATEVER, WILLIAM, KATE. - WHATEVER. 485 00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,528 IT'’S CUTE. WE'’RE CUTE. - YEAH. 486 00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,313 - WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CALL JAKE A CAR 487 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,792 AND THEN YOU AND I CAN GET OUT OF HERE? 488 00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,578 - I LOVE THAT IDEA. - GREAT. 489 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,796 JAKE, WE'’RE CALLING YOU AN UBER. 490 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,233 YOU'’RE TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE. 491 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:11,411 - YOU DON'’T HAVE TO DO THAT. - YES, I DO. 492 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,108 UGH, IT SMELLS LIKE TWEAKERS IN HERE. 493 00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,240 ONE SEC. - YEAH. 494 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,552 - I THOUGHT EVA WAS TOO GOOD FOR HIGH SCHOOL GUYS. 495 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:25,033 - LOOKS LIKE SHE MADE AN EXCEPTION THERE, JAKEY. 496 00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,687 [siren wails] 497 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:29,777 - [bleep], HIDE THE BOOZE, MAN. 498 00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:33,911 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 499 00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:35,652 - YOU TWO BEEN DRINKING TONIGHT? 500 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:38,089 - WELL, YES, SIR, WE HAVE, BUT OUR FRIEND 501 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,569 WENT TO GO CALL US A CAR, SO... 502 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:40,962 - YEAH, WE DIDN'’T START DRINKING 503 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,268 UNTIL WE GOT TO THE CONCERT, 504 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,270 WHICH WE DIDN'’T EVEN END UP SEEING. 505 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,923 - HEY, I'’M NOT ASKING FOR YOUR LIFE STORY HERE. 506 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,490 - THAT'’S GREAT, 507 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,100 BECAUSE I DON'’T HAVE A LIFE STORY TO TELL YOU. 508 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,014 - SHOW ME YOUR I.D.s. 509 00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,763 YOU LITTLE CANDY-ASSES GETTING A THRILL 510 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,374 BY BEING IN THIS PART OF TOWN? 511 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:02,766 - YEAH, YOU DON'’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT US, 512 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,464 SO WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A DICK? 513 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,727 - SHUT UP, DUDE. 514 00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,208 - THAT'’S IT. OUT OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW. 515 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,731 RIGHT NOW. COME ON. - WE DIDN'’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. 516 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,211 - THOSE OPEN CONTAINERS JUST JUMP IN YOUR CAR 517 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,212 WHEN YOU WEREN'’T LOOKING? 518 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,213 - HOW'’D YOU GUESS, HUH? 519 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,301 - GET! - MATTY! 520 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,087 [cell phone chimes] 521 00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:26,486 - SOMETIMES IT FELT LIKE I WAS STUCK 522 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,314 IN AN EMOTIONAL PRISON 523 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,707 WAITING TO BE SET FREE FROM MY FEELINGS FOR MATTY, 524 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,928 AND NOW THAT I HAD LUKE, THE HANDCUFFS WERE COMING OFF. 525 00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,277 - GETS EVEN BETTER. 526 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:36,757 PRECINCT LOCKUP IS ALL FULL. 527 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:39,194 YOU BOYS GET TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN COUNTY. 528 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,500 - [sighs] 529 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:45,853 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 530 00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:47,376 WE CAN STILL MAKE IT TO SCU BY MIDNIGHT 531 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,682 AND SPEND OUR NIGHT WITH REAL MEN. 532 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:49,813 - EVERY ONE OF THEM IS LIKE A LIVING, 533 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,685 BREATHING J. CREW CATALOG, ONLY HOTTER. 534 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,600 HEY THERE. - [belches] 535 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,819 - SURPRISE! 536 00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,430 - DON'’T WE GET ONE PHONE CALL? 537 00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,822 - I'’D RATHER DIE IN PRISON THAN CALL JENNA RIGHT NOW. 538 00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:00,389 - GONNA GIVE YOU HIS BROTHER'’S NUMBER. 539 00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:01,956 HE'’LL KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION. 540 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:03,131 - I WENT TO JENNA. SHE SAID SHE COULDN'’T HELP. 39860

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