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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:03,960 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD: 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:04,961 - ON OUR RIGHT, WE HAVE THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT. 3 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,397 - DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE? 4 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:07,224 - WE'’VE BEEN TEXTING EACH OTHER EVERY DAY. 5 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:08,921 SHE'’S REALLY COOL. 6 00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,140 - IT'’S JUST A LITTLE CATFISHING. 7 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,924 IT'’S TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL. 8 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:13,361 - I'’M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I KNOW YOU'’VE BEEN 9 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,057 AVOIDING ME, AND I'’M JUST WONDERING WHY. 10 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:14,971 - I'’M ADOPTED! 11 00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:23,023 - IN THE THREE WEEKS SINCE MY COLLEGE OVERNIGHT, 12 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,981 MY ONE-NIGHT STAND HAD BLOSSOMED INTO 13 00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,939 THREE WEEKENDS OF AWESOME. 14 00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:27,723 LUKE WAS PERFECT. 15 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,638 HE WAS AN ADULT. 16 00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:32,597 I LIKED THE PERSON I BECAME WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER. 17 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:35,383 I WAS JENNA 2.0, A BETTER, MORE EVOLVED VERSION 18 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,645 OF THE GIRL I'’D BEEN... 19 00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:39,256 [mooing cow ringtone] 20 00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,910 ALMOST. 21 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,520 - HEY, A COUPLE OF MY FRIENDS ARE PLANNING A ROAD TRIP 22 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,695 TO SEE ARCTIC MONKEYS IN NOVEMBER. 23 00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:44,696 YOU WANT IN? 24 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:48,526 [cow mooing] 25 00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,528 RIGHT. PARENTS. 26 00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:52,617 I KEEP FORGETTING YOU DON'’T ACTUALLY GO HERE. 27 00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:54,271 I'’M GUESSING ARCTIC MONKEYS ARE A NO GO. 28 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:55,272 - WHAT? WHY? 29 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,926 I LOVE THE ARCTIC MONKEYS. 30 00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:59,363 - YOUR PARENTS WOULD SERIOUSLY LET YOU DRIVE TO ARIZONA 31 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:00,799 WITH FOUR COLLEGE GUYS IN A VAN? 32 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,671 - MY PARENTS ARE SUPER LAID BACK. 33 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,760 THEY DON'’T EVEN LIKE ME TO CALL THEM MOM AND DAD. 34 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,110 THEY TREAT ME MORE LIKE A BEST FRIEND THAN A CHILD. 35 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,938 - WELL, I'’LL COUNT YOU IN. 36 00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:14,117 [phone ringing] 37 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,642 HELLO. 38 00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,557 WHO IS THIS? 39 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,994 OH. HI. 40 00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:25,085 YEAH, SURE. 41 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,000 - JENNA, IT'’S DAD. 42 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,741 - HEY, KEV. 43 00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,308 HOW'’D YOU GET LUKE'’S NUMBER? 44 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,962 - I CALLED THE DORM AND THREATENED TO HAVE HIM 45 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,616 ARRESTED FOR KIDNAPPING IF THEY DIDN'’T HAND IT OVER. 46 00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,226 - WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE? 47 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,359 - NO, I'’M A PARENT, AND YOU'’RE A CHILD, 48 00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,448 ONE WHO IS 45 MINUTES PAST HER CURFEW. 49 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:42,798 GET HOME NOW. 50 00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:46,323 OH, AND JENNA, ONE MORE THING: PLAN ON A LONG NIGHT. 51 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,543 YOUR ROOM'’S A REAL PIGSTY. 52 00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:49,761 [typing] 53 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:52,024 boom! 54 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:54,940 [cheering] 55 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:59,119 - DATING A COLLEGE GUY MADE IT HARDER 56 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,642 TO GET INTO HIGH SCHOOL STUFF, 57 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,644 SOME OF WHICH I HATED IN THE FIRST PLACE, 58 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,733 LIKE BEING CHEER BITCH, BUT SADLY, 59 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,256 WHILE MY HEART WAS IN COLLEGE, 60 00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:08,084 MY HEAD WAS STUCK IN HIGH SCHOOL, 61 00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,868 AND MY FACE WAS TARGET PRACTICE. 62 00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,392 [cheering] 63 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:12,393 - COME ON, MATTY! 64 00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:15,918 NO GUTS, NO GLORY, SON! 65 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,050 LET'’S GO! 66 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,617 - DUDE, THE MARYLAND SCOUT'’S WATCHING YOU LIKE A HAWK. 67 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,228 THAT LAST GOAL WAS INSANE, MAN. 68 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,752 - NO PRESSURE, NO DIAMONDS. - OKAY! 69 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,580 - OUR SON SET THE RECORD FOR MOST SHOTS ON GOAL 70 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,581 HIS SOPHOMORE YEAR. 71 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,322 - YEP, YOU TOLD ME THAT. 72 00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,150 WE'’VE ONLY GOT FIVE SPOTS ON OUR FALL ROSTER, 73 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,368 BUT HE'’S DEFINITELY A STRONG CANDIDATE. 74 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,414 - ALL RIGHT, HE'’S A MCKIBBEN! 75 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,894 - SO ARE THEY BACK TOGETHER OR WHAT? 76 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,635 - NO, THEY HATE EACH OTHER, BUT THEY HAVE TO PUT ON 77 00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:39,724 A UNITED FRONT BECAUSE THEY'’RE MCKIBBENS. 78 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:40,812 - ALL RIGHT, MATTY! 79 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:41,813 MAKE US PROUD! 80 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:42,771 [whistle blows] 81 00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:46,992 [cheering] 82 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,385 - COME ON, MATTY! 83 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,561 COME ON! 84 00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:51,823 GO, GO, GO! 85 00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,738 - AW! 86 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,566 - DAMN IT! 87 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:00,963 - GO, GO, GO! 88 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:02,704 GET IN THERE AND DO YOUR JOB! 89 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,706 THE MR. P.H.H.S. PAGEANT IS IN FIVE DAYS, 90 00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:05,924 AND YOU STILL HAVEN'’T PRINTED THE PROGRAM, 91 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:06,925 FINALIZED THE SETS, OR TALKED LIGHTING 92 00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:09,014 WITH THEO AND COLE. 93 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,060 I NEED RAGE MANAGEMENT TO COPE WITH YOUR STAGE MANAGEMENT. 94 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,758 - T, IT'’S A FAKE MALE BEAUTY PAGEANT, NOT BROADWAY. 95 00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,151 RELAX. I'’M ON IT. 96 00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,675 - THE ONLY THING YOU'’RE ON IS CLOUD 69. 97 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,243 NEED I REMIND YOU THAT THIS IS A MAJOR APPLICATION 98 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:20,939 AUGMENTATION FOR YOU? 99 00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,245 [bell rings] 100 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,899 - WHAT WAS THAT? - WHAT WAS WHAT? 101 00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,292 I SHOULD GO CHANGE. 102 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:28,077 YOU KNOW HOW SWEATS MAKE ME SWEAT. 103 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,774 - YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE CATFISHING. 104 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:30,645 - I AM! 105 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,037 ALMOST. 106 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,038 IT'’S JUST... 107 00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,344 JAKE BOOTY-TEXTED ME. 108 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,912 TAMARA-ME, NOT AUTUMN-ME. 109 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:38,740 WELL, TECHNICALLY, HE BOOTY-TEXTED BOTH OF US, 110 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,437 BUT THE POINT IS, JAKARA IS BACK ON TRACK 111 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,222 TO BEING THE P.H.H.S.P.C. AGAIN. 112 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,484 THE P.H.H.S. POWER COUPLE. 113 00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,225 - PAUSE. REWIND. 114 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,313 ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH JAKE? 115 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,792 - NO! 116 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,707 YES? MAYBE. 117 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,666 - SO DITCH THE ONLINE PERSONA AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH. 118 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,755 - I WILL. 119 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,322 AS SOON AS AUTUMN CONVINCES JAKE THAT TAMARA HAS HIS HEART 120 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:58,542 THIS CATFISH IS FRIED. 121 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,675 - THAT WAS A TOUGH GAME. 122 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,677 - I CAN'’T BELIEVE THE SCOUT BAILED BEFORE HALFTIME, MAN. 123 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,026 WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT? 124 00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,984 - AUTUMN. 125 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,334 THINGS ARE GETTING INTENSE. I'’M REALLY INTO HER. 126 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,161 - YOU'’VE NEVER EVEN MET HER! 127 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:11,294 SHE'’S PROBABLY A 45-YEAR-OLD SEX OFFENDER NAMED RALPH. 128 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,079 - NO WAY. YOU CAN'’T FAKE THAT BODY. 129 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:17,431 IF SHE WANTS YOU TO WIRE MONEY TO HER NIGERIAN UNCLE, BAIL. 130 00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:20,390 - MOMMY, DID YOU SEE MY BASKET CATCH? 131 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,739 - HUMILITY, LISSA. 132 00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:23,785 OH, LOOK AT THE TIME! 133 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,482 TYLER AND I HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO: 134 00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:26,744 BIBLE STUDY, 135 00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,572 SHOPPING FOR MR. P.H.H.S. CLOTHES-- 136 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,227 SO SADIE CAN TAKE YOU HOME, RIGHT? 137 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,838 - I DON'’T HAVE A CAR, AND MY GUARDIAN IS A SKANKAHOLIC 138 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,536 WITH A PRESCRIPTION PILL PROBLEM. 139 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,189 - OKAY, GREAT. THANKS, HON. 140 00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:38,539 - BYE, SIS. THANKS FOR THE CHEER. 141 00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,845 - BYE, BABIES. 142 00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,151 - GET OVER IT, LISSA. 143 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,848 THE BASKET CATCH WASN'’T THAT GOOD. 144 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:46,024 - IT'’S NOT THAT. 145 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,766 EVER SINCE WE ADOPTED TYLER, HE'’S ALL MY MOM CARES ABOUT. 146 00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,986 NOW EVERYTHING'’S ALL ABOUT MR. P.H.H.S. 147 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,988 JUST BECAUSE TYLER'’S IN IT. 148 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:55,773 MAYBE I SHOULD COMPETE SO SHE REMEMBERS I'’M ALIVE. 149 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,775 - ARE YOU TOO BUSY WITH CHEER CAPTAIN 150 00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:00,038 TO STUDY YOUR S.A.T. WORDS, LISSA? 151 00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:03,999 "MISTER" MEANS PEOPLE WITH PENISES. 152 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:07,176 - BUT I'’M THE ONE WITH PAGEANT EXPERIENCE. 153 00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,004 [gasps] I COULD COACH TYLER! 154 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,354 - MR. P.H.H.S. ISN'’T A REAL BEAUTY PAGEANT. 155 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,921 IT'’S A POPULARITY CONTEST. 156 00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:16,794 BRIAN WOODS WON LAST YEAR FOR SHOTGUNNING A SODA. 157 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,448 I COULD TAKE ANY LOSER IN THIS SCHOOL, 158 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,972 AND BEAT YOU AND MUFASA. 159 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:24,324 - I TOLD YOU, WE CALL HIM TYLER, AND YOU COULD NOT! 160 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,848 WINNING ANY PAGEANT TAKES WAY MORE THAN POPULARITY. 161 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,240 - WANT TO BET? 162 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,417 LOSER GIVES UP 40 BUCKS, PLUS THEIR HONOR, 163 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,243 DIGNITY, AND SELF-ESTEEM. 164 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,723 GO AHEAD. 165 00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:35,378 PICK ANY GUY. 166 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,863 - HIM! 167 00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,172 - OH! - GO AHEAD. 168 00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:49,174 - AFTER YOU. 169 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:52,047 UH, HAVE YOU PICKED A TALENT FOR MR. P.H.H.S. YET? 170 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,354 - WELL, WE KNOW IT'’S NOT SOCCER. 171 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,399 - YEAH, YOUR PARENTS SEEMED PRETTY INTENSE. 172 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,270 - YEAH, THAT'’S ONE WORD FOR IT. 173 00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,447 SO I HEAR YOU'’RE INTO OLDER GUYS NOW. 174 00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,796 - WHAT? NO! 175 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,711 - IT'’S COOL, IF YOU'’RE HAPPY. 176 00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:04,668 WE'’RE GONNA BE IN COLLEGE SOON. 177 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,540 YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET A JUMP ON IT. 178 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,891 [beeping] 179 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,501 [line ringing] 180 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:12,676 - HEY. 181 00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,983 - HEY. WHY IS CAMPUS SO FAR? 182 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:17,289 I'’M HAVING SEVERE SEPARATION ANXIETY. 183 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,770 - ME, TOO, AND I'’M LIVING OFF FIVE-DOLLAR FOOT-LONGS. 184 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,729 IT SAVES ME A TON OF CASH, 185 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:22,469 WHICH IS GOING RIGHT INTO THE GAS FUND, 186 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,122 SO I CAN COME SEE YOU. 187 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,081 SPEAKING OF WHICH, SATURDAY IS GOING TO BE AWESOME. 188 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,257 SNUGGLE DOWN WITH SOME COCOA AND WATCH EVIL DEAD. 189 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,345 - I CAN'’T. 190 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,346 I'’M STUCK IN P.V. THIS WEEKEND, 191 00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:32,087 STAGE MANAGING A PLAY. 192 00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:33,218 - WELL, I'’LL COME DOWN, SEE YOU IN ACTION. 193 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:35,656 - THUS FAR, ALL OF THE ACTION BETWEEN US 194 00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:38,180 HAD TAKEN PLACE IN THE PRIVACY OF LUKE'’S DORM ROOM. 195 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:41,183 OUR RELATIONSHIP EXISTED IN TOTALLY SEPARATE WORLDS, 196 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,924 AND I LIKED IT THAT WAY. 197 00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,448 - IT'’S JUST SOME STUPID HIGH SCHOOL THING. 198 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,102 SO NOT WORTH THE DRIVE. 199 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,582 - WELL, THEN I GUESS WE'’LL HAVE TO COME UP WITH WAYS 200 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:51,149 TO MAKE THE DISTANCE LESS PAINFUL. 201 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:51,976 - SWEETIE? 202 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,674 - WOW! 203 00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:54,936 I HAD NO IDEA IT TOOK 12 YEARS TO PAINT 204 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,067 THE MONA LISA'’SSMILE. 205 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,417 NEAT! 206 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,549 - IS THAT LUKE? HI, LUKE! 207 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,681 - BYE! HE HAS TO STUDY. 208 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,160 - WE WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 209 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,553 ARE YOU COMING TO JENNA'’S PAGEANT? 210 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:04,772 - MOM! - PAGEANT? 211 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,861 - MR. P.H.H.S. 212 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:09,777 IT'’S THIS GOOFY LITTLE PAGEANT FOR THE SENIOR BOYS. 213 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,083 JENNA'’S DAD WAS MR. P.H.H.S. 214 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,476 - AH, I SEE. 215 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,956 - IT'’S LAME. - I'’D LOVE TO COME. 216 00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,261 - GREAT! 217 00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,872 COME BY, AND WE'’LL ALL GO TOGETHER. 218 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:18,916 - NO, NO, NO, YOU DON'’T HAVE TO. 219 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,091 IT'’S--REALLY-- - SOUNDS AWESOME. 220 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,310 - YAY! 221 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,007 WE'’LL SEE YOU ON SATURDAY, LUKE. 222 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,356 - MY RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKE MAY HAVE EXISTED 223 00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,837 IN A SEPARATE WORLD, BUT APPARENTLY 224 00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:27,621 THE PLANETS WERE ABOUT TO COLLIDE. 225 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,367 - SAN DIEGO IS SO FAR AWAY FROM AUSTRALIA. 226 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,195 I GET SO LONELY. 227 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,806 - AW... 228 00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:41,635 WELL, SAN DIEGO IS CLOSE TO PALOS VERDES. 229 00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:44,986 SO CLOSE IT'’S--CLOSE. 230 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,770 YOU KNOW, 231 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,511 I FEEL LIKE I CAN TELL YOU ANYTHING, AUTUMN. 232 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,470 - OH, ME, TOO. 233 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,428 OY, THAT'’S MY OLDIES CALLING FROM THE OUTBACK. 234 00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:53,473 BYE, SCHMOOPS! 235 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,735 - BYE, BOOPS. 236 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,956 [bell rings] - O.M.G. 237 00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:01,611 JAKE JUST INVITED AUTUMN TO WATCH HIM IN MR. P.H.H.S. 238 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,699 - GREAT. 239 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:03,700 WHEN AUTUMN DOESN'’T SHOW UP, 240 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,572 JAKE CAN FINALLY MOVE ON, 241 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,443 AND YOU CAN GO BACK TO ACTING LIKE A SANE PERSON. 242 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,836 WELL, SANE FOR YOU. 243 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,925 - AUTUMN WOULD NEVER FLAKE ON JAKE. 244 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,840 SHE'’LL SHOW, BUT HAVE AN UNFORTCH DITCH-SITCH 245 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,494 DUE TO A BAD SHRIMP TACO, 246 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,799 AND INSTEAD OF BEING ALL "HEY, HUNK-SHOW," 247 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,409 SHE'’LL BE ALL, "HEY, CHUNK-SHOW," 248 00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:18,541 AND SHE'’LL MISS THE WHOLE ENCHILADA. 249 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:25,809 - IT'’S LUMPY, HAIRY, MISSHAPEN. 250 00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,594 I JUST WANT TO BIOPSY THE ENTIRE THING 251 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,247 AND THROW IT IN A BIOHAZARD BIN. 252 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,553 - NO. 253 00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,990 I CAN WORK WITH THIS. 254 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,252 DROP TROU. 255 00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:36,167 - SAVE ME. 256 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,734 - OH, I WON'’T EVER GET IN THE WAY OF MY WOMAN 257 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,431 WHEN SHE'’S TRYING TO WIN A BET. 258 00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:41,259 - YOU'’RE A SMART MAN, AUSTIN. 259 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,565 - [screams] 260 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,743 - YOUR POSTURE'’S OKAY, BUT YOU NEED MORE GLIDE, 261 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,440 AND YOU STILL NEED A TALENT. 262 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,660 WHAT CAN YOU DO BESIDES LIVE ON A DOLLAR A DAY? 263 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:51,661 - I WAS THE CHANCELLOR OF THE DEBATE TEAM 264 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:52,967 AT MY BOARDING SCHOOL. 265 00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,622 - HAVE YOU EVER SEEN DIRTY DANCING? 266 00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,841 - PAGEANT PREP WAS IN HIGH GEAR, 267 00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,496 AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS HOW THIS WOULD LOOK TO LUKE, 268 00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:02,411 LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL FREAK SHOW. 269 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:04,761 WOULD HE EVER BE ABLE TO SEE ME AS A SOPHISTICATED, 270 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,546 SEXY GIRL AGAIN? 271 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,416 - HANG TIGHT, GENTS. 272 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:09,418 L-DOG, A-TRAIN, 273 00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,420 THANK YOU FOR VOLUNTEERING TO DECORATE. 274 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,596 THOSE UPTIGHT P.T.A. MOMS BAILED WHEN I REFUSED 275 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,685 TO BAN THE SWIMSUIT COMPETITION. 276 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,470 ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GO GET THIS SOUL TRAIN BACK ON TRACK. 277 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,865 RETURN TO FORMATION, BOYS! 278 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:24,085 - YOU WERE MR. P.H.H.S. 279 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,086 GO HELP. 280 00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,435 - WHAT? 281 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,263 THAT WAS 17 YEARS AGO. 282 00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,396 HOW COULD I POSSIBLY REMEMBER A SILLY DANCE ROUTINE? 283 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:32,920 RIGHT. 284 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,922 - HOT COALS, HOT COALS-- 285 00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:37,446 - MIND IF I GIVE IT A SHOT? 286 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,709 - FINE, BE MY GUEST. 287 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,624 THESE BOYS HAVE NO BUMP IN THEIR GRINDS. 288 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:42,973 - ALL RIGHT. LET'’S DO THIS. 289 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,932 MUSIC! 290 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:47,935 [hip hop music playing] 291 00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:56,683 ♪ 292 00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,554 - [cheers] 293 00:09:58,554 --> 00:09:59,903 - ALL RIGHT, NOW LET'’S TURN UP THE HEAT 294 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,819 AND SHOW THEM SOME SIZZLING STEAK! 295 00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,516 - [cheers] NOT BAD. 296 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,346 - HEY. 297 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,000 SORRY TO BUG, BUT HAVE YOU PICKED A TALENT? 298 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,698 - YEAH, I WAS THINKING MAYBE STAND-UP. 299 00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:14,222 IF IT TANKS, I CAN ALWAYS FALL BACK ON MY MAGIC MIKESTUFF. 300 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:15,919 - STAND-UP? 301 00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,399 THAT'’S MORE DARING THAN STRIPPING. 302 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:18,705 CAN'’T WAIT. 303 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,491 - WHY ARE YOU DOING STAND-UP? 304 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,188 YOU'’RE AN ATHLETE, NOT A PERFORMER. 305 00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,668 YOU'’RE GOING TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF. 306 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:28,715 - MOM, THIS WHOLE MR. P.H.H.S. THING IS A JOKE, 307 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:29,716 I'’M NOT TRYING TO WIN. 308 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,195 - THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING IT? 309 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,414 - WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED ABOUT WHAT I'’M DOING? 310 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:34,329 - BECAUSE I'’M YOUR MOTHER. 311 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:38,028 - YEAH. 312 00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:39,769 - LUKE WAS DUE TO ARRIVE ANY MINUTE, 313 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,553 BUT I HAD A FOOLPROOF PLAN: 314 00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:42,903 HUSTLE MY PARENTS OUT THE DOOR 315 00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:44,469 AND INSIST ON TAKING SEPARATE CARS. 316 00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,515 WHAT COULD GO WRONG? 317 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:47,777 - DAMN, LIL'’ BITCH. 318 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,432 YOU LOOK LIKE A SISTER WIFE. 319 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:52,260 [chuckles] 320 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,783 - MOM, WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE? 321 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:55,089 - CARPOOLING WITH US. 322 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:57,265 YOU KNOW SHE CAN'’T DRIVE AFTER 4:00 P.M. 323 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,396 - HEY. 324 00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,920 - OH! 325 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,661 - WHAT ARE YOU WEARING, DAD? - WHAT? 326 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,836 - HONEY, TAKE IT OFF. 327 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:03,837 YOU'’RE GONNA EMBARRASS JENNA. 328 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:04,881 - IT'’S TOO LATE. 329 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,274 - I'’M NOT TAKING THIS OFF. 330 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,275 - I THINK YOU'’RE GONNA TAKE IT OFF. 331 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,756 - NO, I'’M NOT. - HUH? 332 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,409 - [laughter] 333 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:12,759 - OH! 334 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,456 HEY, LUKE. WELCOME. 335 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:16,197 - HELLO, SIR. 336 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,199 - LUKE HAD COME TO MEET THE ADULTS IN MY LIFE. 337 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,418 UNFORTUNATELY, I WAS SURROUNDED BY CHILDREN. 338 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:47,619 - WELCOME TO THE 28TH ANNUAL MR. P.H.H.S. PAGEANT! 339 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:48,925 [cheers and applause] 340 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,319 - I'’M YOUR M.C., TAMARA KAPLAN. 341 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,364 I HOPE THERE'’S A DENTIST IN THE HOUSE, 342 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:56,193 BECAUSE YOU'’RE ABOUT TO MEET SOME MAJOR MAN CANDY! 343 00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:58,065 [cheers and applause] 344 00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,284 [hip hop music] 345 00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:08,989 ♪ 346 00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:21,871 [cheers and applause] 347 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:27,268 - KYLE, MESS THIS UP AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT 348 00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,270 YOU NEVER POP THAT PATHETIC MAN-CHERRY, 349 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,446 EVEN WHEN YOU'’RE 45 AND SOME CRAZY CAT LADY 350 00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,709 IS FEELING HORNY, SAD, AND DESPERATE. 351 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:36,016 - DID SOMEONE CALL ME? 352 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:39,628 - OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IN FORMAL WEAR IS KYLE COHEN. 353 00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,326 KYLE HAS A PASSION FOR STAYING INDOORS, 354 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:45,242 TWEEZERS, AND SMELLING DEAD THINGS. 355 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:47,505 [cheers and applause] 356 00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:50,508 [hip hop music] 357 00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:56,993 ♪ 358 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,560 - WOO-HOO! HOTTIE! 359 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,127 - SHOW US SOME SKIN! 360 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,476 [laughing] 361 00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:04,392 [applause] 362 00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:09,005 - TAME DOWN YOUR SIMON COWLICKS BECAUSE WE'’VE GOT 363 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:11,312 YOUR P.H.H.S. IDOLS. 364 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,575 NEXT UP IS OUR TALENT COMPETITION. 365 00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:16,578 [applause] 366 00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:19,581 [pop music playing] 367 00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:27,502 ♪ 368 00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,816 [upbeat pop music] 369 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,426 - ♪ YOU'’RE SO CUTE I WANT TO WEAR YOU LIKE A SUIT ♪ 370 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:41,864 ♪ I THINK YOU'’D LOOK PRETTY GOOD ON ME ♪ 371 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:46,477 ♪ YOU DON'’T CARE, I DON'’T CARE, RIGHT ♪ 372 00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,218 ♪ I WANT TO DRAPE YOU ACROSS MY SHOULDERS ♪ 373 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,177 ♪ WANT YOU CLOSE TO THE BONE 374 00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:53,397 [cheers and applause] 375 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,878 [pop music] 376 00:13:55,878 --> 00:14:00,274 - ♪ LISTEN FOR ME 377 00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:04,495 ♪ I'’M FALLING FOR AUTUMN ♪ 378 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:08,499 ♪ AND I CANNOT MISS A SINGLE DAY ♪ 379 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,938 ♪ OF AUTUMN 380 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:16,246 [cheers and applause] 381 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,639 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 382 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:20,163 NEXT UP, CHARLES TUCKER JUGGLES. 383 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,556 [applause] 384 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:25,560 - HELLO? 385 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,517 - HEY, AUTUMN, DID YOU HEAR MY SONG? 386 00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:28,824 - I LOVED IT. 387 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:32,436 I'’D COME CONGRATULATE YOU, BUT I'’M NOT FEELING VERY WELL. 388 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,090 JAKE, COULD YOU HOLD ON A SEC? 389 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,570 WHAT? 390 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,963 - I HAVE TO GO DEAL WITH A SELF-TANNER ACCIDENT 391 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,051 IN THE DRESSING ROOM. 392 00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,269 PLEASE TELL THEO NO MORE STROBE! 393 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:42,272 [electronic dance music] 394 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:43,578 ♪ 395 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:44,535 - GOT IT. NO MORE STROBE. 396 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:47,234 - AUTUMN? 397 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:50,063 - JAKE, COULD YOU HOLD ON JUST A TIC? 398 00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:52,239 THEO, KILL THE STROBE! 399 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:53,675 THE WHOLE CROWD'’S GONNA HAVE A SEIZURE. 400 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,198 - REALLY? PROMISE? 401 00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,722 - TAMARA? 402 00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:02,118 - SORRY, THERE'’S A LOUD GINGER AT THE SINK NEXT TO ME. 403 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,512 - IT'’S YOU. 404 00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:08,298 - JAKE, NO! 405 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:09,299 [applause] 406 00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,171 - HELLO, EVERYONE. 407 00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:14,609 I AM YOUR M.C., GLAMOUR. 408 00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:16,306 ALL RIGHT, MOVING RIGHT ALONG, 409 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,830 DOING SOME RAUCOUS STAND-UP, 410 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,616 MATTY MCK-K-KIBBEN! 411 00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:24,967 [cheers and applause] 412 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,055 - HEY, FOLKS! 413 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,491 I AM MATTY MCKIBBEN. 414 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,711 THANK YOU. 415 00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:32,757 AS A SENIOR, I'’M APPROACHING MY COLLEGE APPS 416 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,281 THE SAME WAY I APPROACH A FIRST DATE: 417 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:35,891 I PUT ON A NICE SHIRT, 418 00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:38,807 I TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME I AM, 419 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,418 AND I DROP 80 BUCKS JUST TO GET BRUTALLY REJECTED. 420 00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:44,987 [laughter] 421 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,903 - JAKE, WAIT! 422 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:48,904 - MOVE. 423 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:50,036 - JAKE, JUST LET ME EXPLAIN. 424 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,341 - WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY SAY, 425 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:52,777 OTHER THAN YOU'’RE TOTALLY INSANE? 426 00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,779 - YOU SAID YOU COULD SAY ANYTHING TO ME. 427 00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:56,172 YOU SAID YOU'’VE NEVER FELT SO CLOSE TO ANYONE. 428 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,478 - I SAID THAT STUFF TO AUTUMN! 429 00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:59,567 - AND I'’M AUTUMN! 430 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,918 - DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANT WHEN I DUMPED YOU? 431 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,181 IT'’S OVER, TAMARA. 432 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,752 - YEAH, TURNING 18, 433 00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:13,711 IT COMES WITH A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY, IT DOES. 434 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:16,410 IT IS NOW OUR CIVIC DUTY TO VOTE, 435 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,281 FIGHT FOR OUR COUNTRY, 436 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,543 DOWNLOAD PORN WITHOUT FAKING OUR DATE OF BIRTH. 437 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:22,242 [laughter] 438 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,375 - OH, HEY, MOM? 439 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:26,594 WHAT? 440 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,683 YOU DIDN'’T THINK THAT WAS FUNNY? 441 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:29,684 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT IS FUNNY? 442 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,555 HUH? 443 00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:35,516 BEING TOLD YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO ACT LIKE A MCKIBBEN, 444 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,214 AND THEN FINDING OUT YOU'’RE NOT ONE! 445 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:40,782 WHOO! 446 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:44,351 MY PARENTS MADE ME WONDER FOR 18 YEARS 447 00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:46,005 IF I WOULD EVER MEASURE UP TO MY GENE POOL, 448 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,268 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 449 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,009 IT TURNS OUT I DON'’T HAVE A CLUE WHOSE GENES I'’VE GOT. 450 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,619 THAT IS [bleep] HILARIOUS! 451 00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:54,143 - MATTY, STOP. 452 00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,188 - HI, JENNA. 453 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,624 - STOP. - JENNA HAMILTON. 454 00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:57,973 HEY THERE, JENNA. 455 00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,583 COME HERE. 456 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:00,802 JENNA HAMILTON. AIN'’T SHE PRETTY? 457 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,847 THANK YOU. HEY. 458 00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:05,415 OH, YEAH, DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WENT ON BIRTH CONTROL 459 00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:06,851 AND MY PARENTS CALLED YOU A SLUT? 460 00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:08,244 - OH! 461 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,246 - THAT WAS GOOD TIMES, YEAH, 462 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,161 OR HOW ABOUT THE TIME WHEN THEY KICKED ME OUT, 463 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,381 AND YOU COULDN'’T TAKE A DUMP FOR A WEEK 464 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,730 BECAUSE I WAS SHARING YOUR BATHROOM? 465 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,253 THAT WAS A-- [fart noise] 466 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:20,517 A GAS! [audience groans] 467 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,780 HOW AM I DOING, MOM? 468 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,178 - SHOW US YOUR BALLS! 469 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:30,788 [laughs] 470 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:39,188 - MATTY-- 471 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,537 - JENNA, I DIDN'’T MEAN TO-- 472 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:41,321 - IT'’S OKAY, MATTY. IT'’S OKAY. 473 00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:43,714 - I'’M SORRY. 474 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:47,370 I AM SO--I'’M SO SORRY. 475 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,677 - WITH MATTY'’S DIRTY SECRET FINALLY OUT IN THE OPEN, 476 00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,723 MY HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA HAD TAKEN CENTER STAGE... 477 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:58,903 AND IT TURNS OUT THAT LUKE COULDN'’T HANDLE THE SHOW. 478 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,476 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 479 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:09,305 WE ARE DOWN TO JUST THREE FINALISTS, 480 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:13,353 ONE OF WHOM WILL CLAIM THE COVETED MR. P.H.H.S. CROWN: 481 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:16,791 KYLE COHEN, TYLER MILLER, 482 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,185 AND JAKE ROSATI! 483 00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,055 [cheers and applause] 484 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,623 - JAKE ROSATI? 485 00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:26,061 LAST CALL FOR JAKE-- 486 00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:29,195 OKAY, IN THE MEANTIME, ONE FINAL QUESTION: 487 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:32,676 TYLER, WHAT IS YOUR MOST CHERISHED DREAM? 488 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:35,549 - MY DREAM IS TO BE ABLE TO USE MY RECENT BLESSINGS 489 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,334 TO GET AN EDUCATION TO ENABLE ME 490 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,641 TO DEVOTE MY LIFE TO ENDING MISERY AND SUFFERING EVERYWHERE. 491 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:41,946 - UGH! 492 00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,471 COULD HE BE ANY MORE CLICHE? 493 00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:46,212 - WELL, I BELIEVE HE'’S SINCERE. 494 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,996 - WHATEVER. GET OVER IT! 495 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:52,131 - KYLE, FOR THE CROWN. 496 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,785 - LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM I WAS EATING SUSHI, 497 00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:57,527 AND WHEN I ASKED WHAT KIND OF FISH WAS IN IT, 498 00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,877 THE WAITER SAID IT WAS HUMAN FLESH, 499 00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:02,053 AND I LIKED IT. 500 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:06,057 IT TASTED LIKE FICKEN, YOU KNOW, LIKE CHICKEN-FISH, 501 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:10,105 AND WHEN I WOKE UP, THE BED WAS WET. 502 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:18,157 - THE WINNER IS... 503 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,941 TYLER MILLER! 504 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:22,552 [cheers and applause] 505 00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:30,952 - AS MUCH AS I'’D WANTED TO CONVINCE MYSELF 506 00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:32,562 THAT I WAS JENNA 2.0, 507 00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:36,218 THE TRUTH WAS I WAS STILL JUST JENNA. 508 00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:41,136 - HI. 509 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,659 - LISTEN, I'’M SORRY I DIDN'’T TELL YOU ABOUT THE PAGEANT, 510 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:43,921 BUT THIS IS WHY I DIDN'’T WANT YOU TO COME, 511 00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:45,184 BECAUSE I'’M STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL, 512 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,663 AND I HAVE EMBARRASSING PARENTS, 513 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,056 AND A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF EX-BOYFRIEND DRAMA, 514 00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:48,752 AND IF YOU CAN'’T HANDLE THAT, THAT'’S FINE-- 515 00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,885 - JENNA, 516 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:51,929 I DIDN'’T LEAVE THE PAGEANT BECAUSE I COULDN'’T DEAL. 517 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,627 - YEAH, RIGHT. 518 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,236 - I LEFT BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU UP THERE 519 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,107 WAS KIND OF ROUGH, 520 00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:59,459 AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD USE SOME CHEERING UP. 521 00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,375 PUMPKIN SPICE, YOUR FAVORITE. 522 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:03,289 WAIT. 523 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,469 - I DON'’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 524 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,035 - I HAVEN'’T BEEN OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL THAT LONG. 525 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,907 I HAVEN'’T FORGOTTEN THE DRAMA, 526 00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,257 AND I WASN'’T NEARLY COOL ENOUGH TO STAGE MANAGE 527 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,128 A MALE BEAUTY PAGEANT. 528 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,869 - SO YOU'’RE NOT SCARED OFF? 529 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,524 - YOU'’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRY A LOT HARDER THAN THAT. 530 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,004 I'’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 531 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:26,747 I LIKE YOU, JENNA HAMILTON. 532 00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,749 A LOT. 533 00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:32,100 [pop music] 534 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:37,497 ♪ 535 00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:46,332 - NEXT ON AWKWARD-- 536 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,942 - NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEIR EX DATE OTHER PEOPLE. 537 00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:50,074 - SEEING MATTY MOVE ON LIKE I HAVE WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY. 538 00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:51,206 - WHAT DO YOU WANT? 539 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:52,729 - I HAVE THIS GREAT PHOTO OF YOU. 540 00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:53,991 - NICE TRY. 541 00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:56,255 NOTHING HAPPENED THAT NIGHT, AND YOU KNOW IT. 542 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,431 - MY PLAN TO MAKE MATTY HAPPY WAS WORKING, 543 00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,607 SO WHY WAS I SUDDENLY FEELING SO UNHAPPY? 544 00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:01,869 IT'’S NOT LIKE I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM. 545 00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:03,392 HOLY [bleep]! I STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM. 37945

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