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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:04,004 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,223 - "HAVE WE MET?" 3 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:09,922 - "YOU ARE CUTE." 4 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,099 - I'M AROUND TO TALK LATER AFTER SCHOOL. 5 00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,057 - I'LL HIT YOU UP LATER, BUT IT WON'T BE TO TALK. 6 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,928 - OH, HEY, JENNA. - IS MATTY HERE? 7 00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:23,197 - I HAD OVERSLEPT, BUT I DIDN'T REMEMBER SLEEPING. 8 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:24,285 I HAD BEEN TOSSING AND TURNING ALL NIGHT. 9 00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,504 WHY HAD EVA BEEN AT MATTY'S HOUSE? 10 00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:27,984 WERE THEY HOOKING UP? 11 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,812 WAS MATTY CONFIDING IN HER ABOUT HIS LIFE, 12 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:32,815 AND WHERE WAS MY STUPID PALOS HILLS HIGH HOODIE? 13 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:35,470 I WAS ALREADY LATE TO TAMARA'S SENIOR HALLWAY DECORATING SESH 14 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,820 FOR SPIRIT WEEK, BUT I WAS DISPIRITED. 15 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,605 THERE WAS ZERO PEP IN MY STEP. 16 00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:43,086 [cell phone rings] 17 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,045 HEY, I'M SORRY I'M LATE. 18 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,742 I KNOW IT'S NOT AN EXCUSE, 19 00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,483 BUT EVA WAS AT MATTY'S HOUSE LAST NIGHT. 20 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,528 I MEAN, I TRY TO BE A GOOD FRIEND, AND THEN HE GOES OUT 21 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,226 AND REPLACES ME WITH THE NEXT RANDOM GIRL HE CAN FIND. 22 00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,271 AND WHAT'S HER DEAL ANYWAY? 23 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,404 I MEAN, SHE THINKS SHE'S SO COOL AND KNOWS EVERYTHING. 24 00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,840 IT'S, LIKE, STOP TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE. 25 00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,059 AND WHY ARE HER LEGS SO LONG? 26 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,843 SHE LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING ALIEN. 27 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,150 - UM, IT'S EVA. 28 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,543 TAMARA'S DOING A MILLION THINGS, AND SHE WANTED TO SEE 29 00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,328 IF YOU COULD BRING HER A LARGE COFFEE. 30 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,894 - IS THAT JENNA? AND A CRONUT. 31 00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,200 - AND A CRONUT. 32 00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,811 - SURE THING. 33 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,204 [keys clacking] 34 00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:16,554 [thud] 35 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:20,080 - [gasps] CRONUT ME. 36 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,778 - WOW. LOOKS LIKE MATTY'S NEW FRIEND EVA'S HERE. 37 00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:25,563 - DO I HEAR A BITCH PITCH IN YOUR VOICE? 38 00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,391 SHE VOLUNTEERED FOR SENIOR SPIRIT COMMITTEE. 39 00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:28,958 - YEAH, WELL, I THINK SHE ALSO VOLUNTEERED 40 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:29,959 TO BE HIS NEW SIDE PIECE. 41 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,656 - SO? SHE'S AN EAGER BEAVER. 42 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:35,312 OR HE'S EAGER FOR HER-- - NO, DON'T. 43 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:36,574 - ENOUGH. 44 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,446 STOP MOPING OVER MATTY. 45 00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:40,665 THE EASIEST WAY TO GET OVER GETTING BUSY WITH HIM 46 00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:43,320 IS TO GET BUSY DOING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE ELSE, 47 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,888 BUT SINCE YOU COULD BENEFIT FROM HAVING A LOCK ON YOUR BOX, 48 00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:47,107 YOU SHOULD CONCENTRATE ON-- 49 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,239 [cell phone vibrates] ONE SECOND. 50 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,241 - DID YOU GET ANOTHER PHONE? - NO. 51 00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,243 WELL, YES, BUT THIS ONE'S AUTUMN'S. 52 00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:56,333 - WAIT. WHO'S AUTUMN? - AUTUMN SAN DIEGO-- 53 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,683 THE ONLINE PERSONA I CREATED TO CATFISH JAKE. 54 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:02,252 - OKAY, AS YOUR FRIEND, IT IS MY JOB TO TELL YOU 55 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,646 THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS WEIRD, STALKER-Y, AND NOT HEALTHY. 56 00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:05,995 END IT. 57 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,215 - CHILL WITH THE FREAK AND CRITIQUE. 58 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,173 OF COURSE I'LL END IT, JUST NOT NOW. 59 00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:12,088 I AM TOO BUSY TO BREAK UP AGAIN. 60 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,045 - BUT IF YOU-- - HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 61 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,699 I HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU. 62 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:16,614 YOU SHOULD COCHAIR SPIRIT COMMITTEE WITH ME. 63 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,356 IT'S A TOTAL RESUME PADDER, AND I NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK. 64 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:20,836 IF THE SENIORS DON'T WIN SPIRIT WEEK, 65 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,577 I'LL JUMP OVERBOARD. 66 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,274 - YOU DON'T NEED ME. 67 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:25,841 I'M SURE THAT IT'LL BE SMOOTH SAILING 68 00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,103 NOW THAT YOU'RE IN CHARGE. 69 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,105 BUT I REALLY DO NEED YOU TO SHOW ME 70 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,760 WHERE TO PUT THESE, UM, RAVE STICKS. 71 00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,414 - IT'S A ROBOT ARM. 72 00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:37,722 THE THEME IS THE FUTURE. DUH! 73 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,376 [whistle blows] 74 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:41,248 THE BANNER IS CROOKED! - NICE ROBOT PENISES. 75 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,163 - CAN YOU HELP US, PLEASE, WITH THIS? 76 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:46,035 - NO. YOUR PRESIDENCY, YOUR PROBLEM. 77 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,082 - MATTY, CAN YOU HELP? - SURE. 78 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,736 - OH. 79 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,042 [grunts] OKAY. 80 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,304 - GOT IT? 81 00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:57,133 OKAY, CATCH YOU LATER, E. 82 00:02:58,787 --> 00:02:59,701 - HEY. 83 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,355 JUST ABOUT LAST NIGHT, 84 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,008 NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND MATTY. 85 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,662 HE JUST WANTED TO TALK. 86 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:06,447 - IT'S FINE, WE'RE NOT TOGETHER. 87 00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:09,406 - UGH, THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS. 88 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,365 - THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS, OR THE S.S., 89 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,976 ARE THE MORTAL ENEMIES OF SENIOR GIRLS EVERYWHERE. 90 00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:16,065 SOMEHOW THESE GIRLS HAD MAGICALLY MORPHED 91 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,328 OVER THE SUMMER FROM DORKY FRESHMEN 92 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,417 TO A HOARD OF CLEAVAGE-BEARING, SHORT-SHORTS-WEARING, 93 00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,419 GIGGLING KESHA CLONES WHO WERE ONLY TOO HAPPY 94 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,639 TO HANG ALL OVER THE SENIOR GUYS. 95 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:26,118 - WHAT'S WITH THEIR HAIR EXTENSIONS? 96 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,208 THEY DON'T MATCH THEIR WHORE-DROBE. 97 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:29,992 IS THIS SOME KIND OF SKANKY CULT THING? 98 00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:31,036 - ORANGE MEANS THEY'RE WILLING TO KISS, 99 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,777 PINK--BJs, 100 00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:34,866 RED--THEY'RE WILLING TO GO ALL THE WAY, 101 00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,607 AND SILVER-- - BACK DOOR? 102 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,348 - BACK DOOR, FRONT DOOR, BASEMENT, AND ATTIC. 103 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,002 - [gasps] SLUTS. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 104 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,222 TAMARA, DO NOT USE THAT TERM. 105 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,572 THERE WILL BE NO SLUT-SHAMING AT THIS SCHOOL. 106 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,530 I PREFER "SLAPPERS" OR "SLAGS." 107 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,750 IT'S BRITISH. MM. 108 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,883 - VAL, YOUR HAIR IS VERY COLORFUL. 109 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,755 - OH, THANKS. YOU NOTICED. 110 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,626 IT'S THE HOT NEW TREND. ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. 111 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:56,888 - WE AREN'T. 112 00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,542 - YOUR POINT? 113 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,022 - VAL, I'M NOT SURE YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND 114 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,937 WHAT THOSE EXTENSIONS REALLY MEAN. 115 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,200 - YEAH, I DO. 116 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,855 THEY MEAN THAT YOU OLD LADIES ARE BEHIND THE TIMES. 117 00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:10,119 SO GO BACK TO YOUR HARD CANDIES AND YOUR MOTHBALLS, 118 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,817 DAME JUDI DENCHES, BECAUSE I... 119 00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:15,211 AM THE FUTURE. 120 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,953 - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 121 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,563 THAT'S VA-JENNA'S JOB, NOT THE CAPTAIN'S. 122 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,696 - I DON'T MIND. 123 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:24,481 I LIKE SORTING THE POM-POMS. THEY'RE SO COLORFUL AND FUN. 124 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:27,702 AND SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PRETEND THEY'RE LITTLE FLUFFY DOGS. 125 00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,269 [imitates barking] 126 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,053 [laughs, imitates bark] 127 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,837 - SO I WAS READING THE BIBLE LAST NIGHT. 128 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:33,925 - [gasps] REALLY? 129 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,275 THAT'S SO AWESOME. 130 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,319 WERE YOU AT A HOTEL OR SOMETHING? 131 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,712 - MY DAD BOUGHT ONE WHEN HE THOUGHT 132 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,540 HE WAS GOING TO WHITE-COLLAR PRISON. 133 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,019 ANYWAY, I READ THAT VERSE 134 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:41,977 ABOUT HOW THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH. 135 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,979 - [gasps] MATTHEW 5:5... 136 00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,198 OR MATTHEW HIGH FIVE. 137 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:49,245 - RIGHT, BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE 138 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,377 THAT CHEERING IS WHAT JESUS WOULD DO. 139 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,944 I MEAN, SHOUTING AND WEARING SHORT SKIRTS 140 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,642 ISN'T EXACTLY MEEK, IS IT? 141 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:58,298 - WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT, 142 00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,909 BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT JESUS WOULD BE A CHEERLEADER, 143 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,128 AND DEFINITELY MARY. 144 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:06,218 - THAT'S A REALLY GOOD POINT. 145 00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:09,178 REVERSE YOU'RE WELCOME. 146 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,267 THANKS. 147 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,662 YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT THE POWER 148 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,185 OF THE CAPTAINCY HAS REALLY BEEN GOING TO YOUR HEAD, 149 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,318 BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE. 150 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,972 - PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT? - DON'T WORRY. 151 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,453 THEY SAID THE SAME ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS CAPTAIN, 152 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,499 THOUGH "GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL" ISN'T EXACTLY MY BRAND. 153 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:28,502 OH, ANOTHER FUN FACT FROM THE BIBLE. 154 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:31,331 DID YOU KNOW THAT "JUDAS" AND "LISSA" HAVE 155 00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:32,549 THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS? 156 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:33,811 SO WEIRD. 157 00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:36,423 [chuckles] 158 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,990 - IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRST COMPETITION OF SPIRIT WEEK-- 159 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,166 CHUBBY BUNNY. 160 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:43,343 [applause] 161 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,780 YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES. - I'M AFRAID I DON'T. 162 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,043 IS CHUBBY BUNNY SOME SORT OF FAT RODENT? 163 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:49,784 - NO, IT'S A PHYSICAL CHALLENGE. 164 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,220 YOU PUT A MARSHMALLOW IN YOUR MOUTH, 165 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,830 AND YOU SAY "CHUBBY BUNNY." 166 00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,658 THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY "CHUBBY BUNNY" CLEARLY 167 00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:56,486 WITH THE MOST MALLOWS IN THEIR MOUTH WINS. 168 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,271 - THAT IS RUDE! - SO PIGGISH. 169 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,361 - YOU'RE BOTH RUDE AND PIGGISH, AND IT'S TRADITION. 170 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,188 NOW, CAN EACH CLASS REP PLEASE COME TO THE STAGE? 171 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,539 [all giggling] 172 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:07,671 AND, OF COURSE, THE SENIOR-CLASS REP 173 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,892 AND THREE-TIME CHUBBY BUNNY CHAMP MATTY MCKIBBEN, 174 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,415 COME ON UP. 175 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,156 [cheers and applause] - PLEASE! 176 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,071 LET ME DO IT THIS YEAR. 177 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:19,509 I'M NOT ALLOWED SUGAR AT HOME. - GO FOR IT, MAN. 178 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,250 - BUT IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT WE WIN THIS. 179 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,470 - KYLE'S GONNA KILL IT. LOOK AT THAT INTENSITY. 180 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,080 - UGH, FINE. GET UP HERE, KYLE. 181 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,909 - MOVE. 182 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:31,695 - ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, STUFF! 183 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,349 - [clearly] CHUBBY BUNNY. 184 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,219 - [mumbling] CHUBBY BUNNY. 185 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,395 - [clearly] CHUBBY BUNNY. 186 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,266 [applause] 187 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,095 - IT'S SUPPOSED TO MELT IN YOUR MOUTH NOT IN YOUR HAND. 188 00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,053 - I'M A DIABETIC. 189 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:45,405 - UGH, FRESHMAN, IS YOUR BRAIN EVEN FULLY FORMED YET? 190 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,797 DO YOU STILL BREAST-FEED? - NOT SINCE I WAS EIGHT. 191 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,756 all: EW. 192 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,627 - KYLE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THEM. 193 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,063 - CAN'T STOP. 194 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:52,803 SUGAR HIGH. 195 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,414 SO HIGH! 196 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,546 - THE MARSHMALLOWS ARE BLAZED. 197 00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:57,765 - [laughs] 198 00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,723 - MY TURN. 199 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:04,336 [all gasp] 200 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,251 - MMM. [giggles] 201 00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:09,559 [mumbling] CHUBBY BUNNY. 202 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:12,649 MMM. 203 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:13,650 [mumbling] CHUBBY BUNNY. 204 00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,086 - SOPHOMORES WIN! 205 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:18,394 [cheers and applause] 206 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,007 - YES! IT IS ALL ABOUT MACKENZIE. 207 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,487 THAT GIRL IS A PROFESSIONAL. 208 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,141 - WE'RE TALKING STAR QUALITY. 209 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:28,099 - MATTY. 210 00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,318 ARE YOU OKAY? 211 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,582 - I'M FINE. WHY? 212 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:35,585 - YOU'RE NOT UPSET ABOUT THE END OF YOUR CHUBBY BUNNY REIGN? 213 00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:38,327 - YEAH, YEAH, I'M REALLY BROKEN UP ABOUT IT. 214 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,242 - [chuckles] LISTEN... 215 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,332 I KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS CHANGED, AND IT'S COOL. 216 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,552 I JUST THOUGHT THAT I WOULD BE THE PERSON 217 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,815 THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO TALK TO ABOUT STUFF, 218 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,121 NOT SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW. 219 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:54,212 - SO YOU WANT ME TO RUN PEOPLE BY YOU BEFORE I TALK TO THEM? 220 00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,171 - NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 221 00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,042 - [giggles] MATTY, DID YOU SEE ME WIN? 222 00:07:58,173 --> 00:07:59,783 - YEAH, YEAH, CONGRATULATIONS. 223 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,263 - SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE. 224 00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:02,786 EVA FOR CONVERSATION, 225 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,136 AND MACKENZIE WAS CLEARLY AVAILABLE 226 00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:06,660 FOR WHATEVER ELSE HE NEEDED. 227 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:09,271 I WAS RENDERED OBSOLETE IN LESS THAN A DAY. 228 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,794 - WE LOOK LIKE IDIOTS. 229 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:13,014 - OH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ROBOTS. 230 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,624 - I KNOW, BUT WE LOOK LIKE HOBOS 231 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:17,453 WHO POSE LIKE STATUES FOR MONEY. 232 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:18,846 - MY FRIEND DID THAT IN CENTRAL PARK, 233 00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,238 AND HE'S IN CIRQUE DU SOLEIL NOW. 234 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,762 - [gasps] I LOVE THE CIRCUS. 235 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:24,242 - FASCINATING, EVA. 236 00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:27,855 - THIS LOOKS AMAZING, SENIORS. 237 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:31,511 IT'S LIKE SOMEONE FROM 1982'S IDEA OF THE FUTURE-- 238 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,208 VERY TRON. 239 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,384 IT'S A COMPLIMENT... 240 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,518 ALTHOUGH I COULD DO WITHOUT THE SPACE DILDOS. 241 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:41,521 - SO ARE WE THE BEST HALLWAY? - LOOKS LIKE IT. 242 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,392 [distant cheering, electronic music] 243 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,220 WAIT. DO YOU HEAR THAT? 244 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:53,141 ♪ 245 00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:59,713 - OH. 246 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,280 - SOMEBODY GET THESE GIRLS BANANAS FAST! 247 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:05,675 - THESE LITTLE GIRLS LOST KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THEY'RE GOING. 248 00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,111 - WOW. 249 00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:11,246 - THIS IS GLORIOUS. 250 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,117 SOPHOMORES WIN THE HALLWAY CONTEST. 251 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,641 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN RECORDED HISTORY, 252 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:18,645 THE SENIORS MIGHT LOSE SPIRIT WEEK. 253 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,647 - [giggles] 254 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,955 - [bleep] JUST GOT REAL. 255 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,526 - THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS HAD SWEPT 256 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,310 ALL THE SPIRIT WEEK COMPETITIONS, 257 00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:33,747 SO THE SENIOR GIRLS, DETERMINED TO PUT THOSE SKANKS 258 00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:35,836 IN THEIR PLACE, WERE ALL ON TIME 259 00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,533 FOR THE POWDER PUFF PRACTICE, 260 00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:40,101 EXCEPT TAMARA, WHICH WAS SO UN-TAMARA. 261 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,103 MEANWHILE, LISSA WAS TEACHING THE SENIOR GUYS CHEERS, 262 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:45,323 BUT MATTY AND JAKE WERE ALSO NO-SHOWS. 263 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,368 - THE CHEER GOES LIKE THIS-- 264 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,326 KNEE 'EM IN THE GROIN! 265 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,459 GOUGE 'EM IN THE EYE! 266 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,549 KILL 'EM, KILL 'EM, PALOS HIGH! 267 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:57,118 - WOW. I NEVER REALIZED HOW VIOLENT THAT CHEER WAS. 268 00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,642 W-W-J-C-- 269 00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:04,516 WHAT WOULD JESUS CHEER? 270 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:05,866 - HEY. ARE WE PRACTICING? 271 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,911 OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU OKAY? 272 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,478 - I WAS UP ALL NIGHT. 273 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,263 "WHAT WAS YOUR EX LIKE?" 274 00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:16,354 "CONTROLLING"? 275 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,401 "YOU MEAN ORGANIZED?" 276 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,449 [scoffs] 277 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,278 "WAS SHE AT LEAST CUTE?" 278 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,932 "OKAY"? 279 00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:31,369 "CRAZY"? 280 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,763 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "CRAZY"? 281 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,811 WHERE IS HE? 282 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:42,163 WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING? 283 00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:43,164 AM I CRAZY? 284 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,383 - NO, HE IS. 285 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:47,734 SO DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED FOR PRACTICE? 286 00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:50,214 - NO, BUT IT'S OKAY. 287 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,694 I'LL JUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT TONIGHT AND LEARN THE PLAYS. 288 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,304 I'LL BE FINE. FINE! 289 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,916 - I'LL COACH POWDER PUFF. - REALLY? 290 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,658 - GIVE ME THE CLIPBOARD AND THE WHISTLE. 291 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:01,356 [whistle blows] 292 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,967 - HEY, POUNDER MUFFS, CAN WE PRACTICE ALREADY? 293 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,752 - PRACTICE IS POSTPONED UNTIL TOMORROW. 294 00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:08,102 I'M TAKING OVER COACHING DUTIES, AND I NEED TIME TO PREPARE. 295 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:09,625 - YOU CAN'T COACH. 296 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,932 ALL YOU KNOW IS LOSING! THE POINT IS TO WIN. 297 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,934 - I COULD TEACH YOU SOME PLAYS IF YOU WANT. 298 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,413 I WAS TUTORED BY A YALE FOOTBALL PLAYER. 299 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:16,850 - I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP. 300 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:20,070 I'M FINE. I JUST NEED TO ORGANIZE MY PLAYBOOK. 301 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:21,506 AND BY THAT, I MEANT LEARN EVERYTHING THERE WAS TO KNOW 302 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,334 ABOUT FOOTBALL BEFORE TOMORROW, 303 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,772 BECAUSE IF THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS WERE MAKING A PLAY 304 00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:28,383 FOR OUR SENIOR BOYS, THEY WERE GONNA BE INTERCEPTED. 305 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:31,516 - MOM, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. 306 00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,693 - THIS IS A TALK WE SHOULD HAVE HAD A WHILE AGO. 307 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:35,346 - I AGREE. 308 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,522 - IT HAS TO DO WITH SOMETHING IN THE GARAGE. 309 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:38,785 - YEAH. 310 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,525 - THIS IS HARD. WHERE DO I START? 311 00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,311 - JUST BE HONEST WITH ME. 312 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,966 - AFTER THE DIVORCE, A LOT OF THINGS CHANGED, 313 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:47,707 PARTICULARLY WITH MY FINANCES. 314 00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:49,317 WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. 315 00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:52,581 SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW DISAPPOINTED I WAS 316 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,322 TO FIND A DENT IN YOUR CAR. 317 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,411 - WHAT? 318 00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:58,587 - I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KEPT IT FROM ME. 319 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,329 - YEAH, IF I EVER FOUND OUT THAT YOU OR DAD 320 00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:04,724 WERE KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME, I'D BE SUPER UPSET. 321 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:09,598 - HEY, DAD. 322 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,817 CAN YOU TEACH ME SOME FOOTBALL PLAYS? 323 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,036 - I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME. 324 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,604 SO, IF YOU CALL A BLAST, THEN WHAT? 325 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,475 - THE RUNNING BACK TAKES A QUICK HANDOFF FROM THE QUARTERBACK 326 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,216 AND HITS THE HOLE BETWEEN THE GUARD AND TACKLE. 327 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:21,001 - SO PROUD. 328 00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,611 YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT MEMORIZING THESE PLAYS. 329 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,613 - I JUST REALLY WANT TO WIN THIS GAME. 330 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,658 - AND DON'T GET ME WRONG. 331 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,791 I LOVE YOUR SUDDEN INTEREST IN FOOTBALL, 332 00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,271 BUT WHY DO YOU NEED TO WIN SO BADLY? 333 00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:32,708 - JUST SENIOR PRIDE. 334 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,275 AND THERE ARE THESE SOPHOMORE GIRLS 335 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,277 WE'RE PLAYING AGAINST WHO ARE SO ANNOYING! 336 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,714 both: THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS? - HERE WE GO. 337 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,020 - HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT? 338 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,065 - HONEY, THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS HAVE BEEN AROUND 339 00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,589 SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. 340 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,288 - SHAMELESS, DISGUSTING, FILTHY. 341 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,377 - ALLY WAS AN ORIGINAL SOPHOMORE SLUT. 342 00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,596 - LITTLE BITCH, BEFORE ME THE TRAMP STAMP WAS SIMPLY KNOWN 343 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,990 AS A LOWER-BACK TATTOO. 344 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,862 - THAT'S TRUE. - "O.G.S.S."-- 345 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,038 "ORIGINAL SOPHOMORE SLUTS." 346 00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,910 OKAY, WELL, NOWADAYS THEY WEAR COLORED HAIR EXTENSIONS, SO... 347 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,783 - UGH. - THOSE NASTY LITTLE SKANKS. 348 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,828 NO OFFENSE, ALLY. - OH. 349 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,265 - OH, THEY WERE LIKE SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE ZOMBIES, 350 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:11,660 AND THE BOYS JUST LOVED IT. 351 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,097 - BECAUSE GUYS ARE ASS[Bleep]. 352 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,882 - OH, YEAH, BLAME IT ON THE GUYS. 353 00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,622 - WHO ELSE SHOULD WE BLAME, KEVIN? 354 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:20,147 - COME ON, SENIOR GIRLS WERE SO STRESSFUL 355 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,714 AND CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONS. 356 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:26,849 - SORRY BEING PREGNANT BROUGHT OUT A LOT OF EMOTIONS IN ME. 357 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:30,200 - SWEETIE, I'M ALL FOR WINNING, BUT BEATING THE SOPHOMORE SLUT-- 358 00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:31,767 I MEAN, GIRLS-- 359 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,290 IS NOT GONNA KEEP YOUR GUY FRIENDS 360 00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:34,944 FROM HANGING OUT WITH THEM. 361 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,033 THEY'RE NOT BAD GUYS. THEY'RE SENIORS. 362 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,992 THEY JUST WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. 363 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,516 - SHOULD WE DO SHOTS? - OH, GOD. 364 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,300 [both laughing] - HEY, MAN. 365 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,563 COME HANG OUT WITH US WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH WORK. 366 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:46,782 - LET'S GET FRO YO. 367 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,262 - SURE, LET'S GO NOW. 368 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:51,308 I'M, UH-- I'M DONE WITH THIS JOB. 369 00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:54,572 I DON'T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING, AND I AM CONSTANTLY COLD. 370 00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,444 - DON'T YOU WANT THE EXTRA CASH? - NO, IT'S NOT WORTH IT, MAN. 371 00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,707 I AM SICK OF PEOPLE CONSTANTLY ORDERING ME AROUND. 372 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,449 - YOU CAN ORDER ME AROUND. - LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 373 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,190 - WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 374 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,278 WHILE YOU'RE ON THE CLOCK, YOUR SHIRT IS OFF. 375 00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:07,368 - WELL, I'M CLOCKING OUT FOR GOOD. 376 00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:10,153 I FEEL RIDICULOUS. - [giggles] RIDICULOUSLY HOT. 377 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:11,894 - LISTEN TO THE TINY TROLLOP. 378 00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:15,550 - OH, YEAH? LATER. 379 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,812 LET'S GO, MACKENZIE. LET'S GET FRO YO. 380 00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,249 - O.M.G., I LOVE A BADASS, 381 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,642 ESPECIALLY A BADASS WITH A GOOD ASS. 382 00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,383 [chuckles] 383 00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,298 - YOU LEAVE NOW, DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK. 384 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,126 [all laugh] 385 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,787 - WHY ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA? IT'S GEEK DAY. 386 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,789 - I THOUGHT IT WAS GREEK DAY. 387 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,009 - WHAT'S UP? 388 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,489 - I DON'T WANT TO BE CHEER CAPTAIN. 389 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,273 - WHAT? WHY? 390 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,580 - BECAUSE... 391 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,843 BECAUSE... 392 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,019 BECAUSE... 393 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,369 - BECAUSE SHE'S COVETING THE CAPTAINCY, 394 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,459 AND A WISE AND POWERFUL OLD MAN WITH A BEARD SAID THAT'S A SIN. 395 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,287 - OKAY, I DON'T CARE WHAT SANTA SAID. 396 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,899 I NEED A MORE CONCRETE EXCUSE, LIKE AN INJURY. 397 00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,988 FOR EXAMPLE, 398 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,772 WHAT IF I WERE TO HIT YOU ON YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW 399 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,729 WITH THIS TAPE DISPENSER? 400 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,775 THAT WOULD TAKE YOU OUT, HUH? 401 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,213 - NEVER MIND! I'LL BE CHEER CAPTAIN! 402 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,434 - AND THAT'S WHAT I CALL A VAL TEACHING MOMENT. 403 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,482 I THINK I'LL REWARD MYSELF WITH A SPICY ITALIAN SUB. 404 00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:25,011 [cheers and applause] - IT WAS GAME TIME. 405 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:26,882 IT DIDN'T MATTER IF MATTY AND I WERE ON THE OUTS. 406 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,840 IT WAS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT. 407 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,364 IF THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS WERE GONNA MAKE A PLAY 408 00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:32,192 FOR THE SENIOR BOYS, 409 00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:34,281 THEY WERE GONNA BE INTERCEPTED OR TACKLED 410 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:37,937 OR SOME FOOTBALL THING, IF THEY EVER SHOWED UP. 411 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:41,418 [all screaming] 412 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:45,074 - ARE WE SHOOTING A BEER COMMERCIAL? 413 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,250 - WE HAVE NO CHEERLEADERS! 414 00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:48,860 THE OTHER GUYS FOUND OUT MATTY AND JAKE WEREN'T CHEERING, 415 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,384 SO THEY BAILED. 416 00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:51,951 - SHEEP. BUT I'M HERE. 417 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:54,779 I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, JENNA. 418 00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:57,173 [grunts] - LET ME TALK TO THEM. 419 00:15:57,304 --> 00:16:01,308 [cheers and applause] 420 00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:10,186 HEY, NO BIGGIE, BUT DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS COULD CHEER FOR US? 421 00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:12,275 BECAUSE YOU'RE DRAGGING EVERYONE DOWN 422 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:13,407 INTO YOUR REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSEHOLE, 423 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:14,495 AND GOOD PEOPLE ARE COLLATERAL DAMAGE. 424 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,236 BUT I'M CHILL. 425 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,803 - REALLY? 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT CRAZY EYES. 426 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,067 - CRAZY? I WILL SHOW YOU CRAZY. 427 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:22,677 NOW, GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES AND CHEER. 428 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,461 IT IS THE LEAST YOU COULD DO! 429 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,463 - ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT THE LEAST WE COULD DO. 430 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,204 COME ON. [cheers and applause] 431 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,772 - LET'S CHEER FOR THE SOPHOMORES. 432 00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:34,167 [cheers and applause] 433 00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,694 - I HAD NEVER WANTED TO WIN SOMETHING SO BADLY. 434 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,261 THE S.S. WERE RUNNING 435 00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:42,827 SOME SERIOUS INTERFERENCE WITH OUR LIVES. 436 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,351 THEY NEEDED TO GET SACKED. 437 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:46,918 both: GO, SENIORS! 438 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,792 - LET'S DO THIS! WHOO! - [mouths words] 439 00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,055 [whistle blows] 440 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:56,102 [all screaming] 441 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:01,281 [cheers and applause] 442 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:07,330 - GO, SENIORS! 443 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:11,117 all: OOH! 444 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,467 - COME ON. ALL RIGHT, LET'S HUDDLE. 445 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:16,165 [cheers and applause] 446 00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:25,827 - HUT, HIKE. 447 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:29,396 [whistle blows, cheers and applause] 448 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:32,312 [dance music] 449 00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:35,924 [all grunting] 450 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,057 - BOY, THAT'S ONLY HALFTIME. 451 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:39,667 [overlapping chatter] 452 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,625 - HEY, COACH. 453 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,236 I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE AN INSPIRING SPEECH. 454 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,107 - I WASN'T FEELING INSPIRING. 455 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:47,762 I WAS FEELING SCREWED, NOT IN A GOOD WAY. 456 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,894 [whistle blows] 457 00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:52,114 OKAY... 458 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,682 SO WE ARE SUCKING OUT THERE, A LOT. 459 00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:56,553 OUR OWN SENIOR BOYS ARE CHEERING AGAINST US, 460 00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,251 AND NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY TO BE THE MATURE ONES, 461 00:17:58,381 --> 00:17:59,991 THEY DON'T APPRECIATE IT. 462 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,951 THEY CHOOSE BIKINIS OVER ROBOTS, SIMPLE OVER COMPLICATED. 463 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,692 AND WHEN THERE IS A HISTORY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE 464 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,563 AND THINGS GET ROUGH, 465 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:08,217 IT IS EASIEST TO FALL INTO THE ARMS OF THE CLOSEST, 466 00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,219 SLUTTIEST OPTION. 467 00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:13,135 AS LONG AS THOSE SLUTS EXIST, WE'RE NEVER GONNA WIN. 468 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:16,747 - THAT WAS LITERALLY THE WORST PEP TALK I HAVE EVER HEARD. 469 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:21,230 I SAY WE GO OUT THERE AND KICK THOSE SLUTS' ASSES. 470 00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:24,190 ARE YOU WITH ME, BITCHES? [all cheer] 471 00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:30,457 [whistle blows] 472 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:33,242 - LOOKS LIKE YOUR GUY FRIENDS CAME OVER TO OUR SIDE. 473 00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:36,376 IT MUST SUCK TO BE OLD AND UNDESIRABLE. 474 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,943 - I LIKE YOUR HAIR. IT ALMOST LOOKS REAL. 475 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,510 - THANK YOU. 476 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,643 IS YOURS? 477 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:45,515 WHOOPS. all: OH. 478 00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,517 - THAT'S WHEN MY DAD'S WORDS CAME TO ME 479 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,040 LIKE A BLITZ TO MY BRAIN. 480 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,477 BEATING THE SOPHOMORE SLUTS IN FOOTBALL 481 00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:51,565 WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. 482 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,262 THESE GIRLS, 483 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:54,916 NO MATTER HOW MUCH I HATED THEIR BARE MIDRIFFS 484 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:57,353 AND HOT PANTS WEREN'T THE PROBLEM. 485 00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,007 THE PROBLEM WAS MATTY. 486 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,749 - IF YOU DON'T DO IT, I WILL. 487 00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,794 [rock music] 488 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:06,406 - [screams] 489 00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,756 [all screaming] 490 00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:24,293 - SADIE, SAVE YOURSELF! 491 00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:26,426 [whistle blows] 492 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:32,388 - MY FIRST FIGHT, AND I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A BADASS. 493 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,434 I JUST HAD A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH. 494 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,392 SENIORS HAD LOST SPIRIT WEEK TO THE SOPHOMORES 495 00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:39,700 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN, WELL, EVER. 496 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:42,398 THEN AGAIN, MAYBE THE BAD TASTE WAS FROM ALL THE DIRT I ATE 497 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,487 WHEN JACKIE SMOOSHED MY FACE INTO THE GROUND. 498 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:48,012 HEY, THANK YOU FOR HAVING MY BACK EARLIER. 499 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,971 - NO WORRIES, AND I DIDN'T KNOW YOU AND MATTY HAD DATED. 500 00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,581 IF I HAD KNOWN THAT, 501 00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:53,496 I WOULD HAVE INVITED YOU INSIDE THE OTHER DAY. 502 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,585 - IT'S OKAY. I'M SORRY FOR BEING A JERK TO YOU 503 00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:57,413 JUST BECAUSE MATTY'S BEING A JERK TO ME. 504 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,633 - WELL, I JUST HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS. 505 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,765 CHICKS BEFORE DICKS... ALWAYS. 506 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,854 [chuckles] 507 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:06,944 - WHOO! 508 00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:09,208 - HEY, HEY, HEY! - [laughs] 509 00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:10,948 IT'S TIME TO GHOST RIDE THE WHIP! 510 00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:12,950 - YES, HOTNESS! 511 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,300 - OH, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOUR CAR, 512 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,431 YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA KILL YOU. 513 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,738 - OH, LIGHTEN UP, ROSATI. 514 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,566 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GONNA FILM IT. 515 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:23,787 [all cheering] 516 00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,876 OKAY, OKAY, GO. 517 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,878 - WHOO! 518 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,880 [dance music] 519 00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:32,753 ♪ 520 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,711 - HOLY-- 521 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,585 [crashes] 522 00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:40,717 both: HOLY [bleep]! 523 00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:46,549 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... 524 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:47,985 - HEY, YOU SHOULD STOP BY THIS FUND-RAISER TONIGHT. 525 00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,117 - I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT. - DO THAT. 526 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,337 - YOUR SORORITY IS AMAZE-TITS. 527 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,947 VODKA PLUS GIRL TALK PLUS COMMUNAL CLOSET 528 00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:55,558 EQUALS HAPPY TAMARA. 529 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,560 - YES, HOT TUB. 38129

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