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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:03,960 - PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD... 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,222 - SO YOU DIDN'’T D.T.R.? - WE'’RE SENIORS. 3 00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:07,007 WE DON'’T NEED TO D.T. ANYTHING. 4 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,920 WE HAD FUN, AND I'’M NOT GONNA OVERTHINK IT. 5 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,661 - I WANT TO BREAK UP. 6 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,272 - DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE SINGLE IN SENIOR YEAR? 7 00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,621 - I'’M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, 8 00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:14,101 BUT I KNOW YOU'’VE BEEN AVOIDING ME, 9 00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:16,146 AND I'’M JUST WONDERING WHY. - I'’M ADOPTED. 10 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,674 - AFTER MATTY DROPPED THE BOMB THAT HIS FAMILY WASN'’T NUCLEAR, 11 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,241 I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO ADOPT 12 00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,938 A NEW ATTITUDE TOWARDS OUR RELATIONSHIP. 13 00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:27,505 I HAD SPENT ALL THAT TIME 14 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,116 WORRYING MATTY WAS SHUTTING ME OUT. 15 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,943 BUT HE ACTUALLY ENDED UP LETTING ME IN... 16 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,641 ON THE FACT THAT HE WAS ADOPTED, 17 00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:34,947 AND HIS PARENTS HAD NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL HIM. 18 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,471 REALITY CHECK FOR JENNA-- 19 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:39,604 TIME TO STOP MAKING EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. 20 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,780 VAL! 21 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,608 I'’M REALLY EXCITED FOR THE PEER-MENTORING PROGRAM. 22 00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,567 - ME TOO. 23 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,177 WITH YOU GIRLS SHOULDERING SOME OF MY COUNSELING BURDEN, 24 00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,092 I'’LL HAVE TWO AFTERNOONS A WEEK FREE 25 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,399 FOR SOME MUCH-NEEDED ALONE TIME. 26 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:54,054 OH, LOOK, THERE'’S YOUR MENTEE NOW--PRUDENCE. 27 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,273 - SHE REMINDED ME OF ME-- 28 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:59,407 A LOST LAMB HEADED FOR THE SLAUGHTER THAT IS HIGH SCHOOL. 29 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,583 I DECIDED I WOULD BE THERE FOR HER, 30 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,802 THE WAY I WISHED SOMEONE HAD BEEN THERE FOR ME-- 31 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,196 WELL, SOMEONE SANE. 32 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,503 I WOULD LISTEN TO HER. I WOULD SUPPORT HER. 33 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,896 AND I WOULD KEEP HER OUT OF HARM'’S WAY. 34 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,552 OH, MY GOD. I'’M JENNA. 35 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:16,989 ARE YOU OKAY, PRUDENCE? 36 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:19,992 THE LAST PERSON THAT CALLED ME THAT GOT THROAT-PUNCHED. 37 00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:23,170 [hard rock music] 38 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,650 - OH, ARE YOU-- - CALL ME ANGEL. 39 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:26,782 - [clears throat] 40 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,918 - HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING GOING AROUND 41 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,355 ABOUT JAKE DUMPING ME? 42 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:35,965 IT IS ALL ABOUT WHO CONTROLS THE STORY. 43 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,314 JAKE BETTER NOT MAKE UP ANYTHING 44 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,360 ABOUT OUR BREAKUP THAT ISN'’T TRUE. 45 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,797 I DID NOT GET DUMPED. I KNEW THE ENDING WAS PENDING. 46 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,538 - DO YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE WE SPEND A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME 47 00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,235 WONDERING ABOUT WHAT JAKE AND MATTY ARE THINKING? 48 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,150 - UH, NO. - OKAY. 49 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:49,021 99% OF THE TIME IT'’S PROBABLY NOT ABOUT US AT ALL. 50 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:50,806 - WHO ARE YOU, 51 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,938 AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH "I AM JENNA HAMILTON"? 52 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,810 HELLO, JACOB. 53 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:58,292 - HELLO, LADIES. TAKE IT EASY. 54 00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,815 - "TAKE IT EASY"? 55 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,077 WHAT IS THE SUBTEXT IN THAT CONTEXT-- 56 00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:02,383 THAT I'’M TAKING IT HARD? 57 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,341 - MAYBE HE MEANT TAKE IT EASY. 58 00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,430 HE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND. - WE JUST BROKE UP, JENNA. 59 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,258 YOU CAN'’T JUST TRANSITION FROM B.F. TO B.F.F. 60 00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:09,781 WITHOUT SOME "D" IN BETWEEN. 61 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:10,913 - "D"? - DRAMA. 62 00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:12,915 - OKAY. MAYBE YOU CAN. 63 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,395 WE'’RE SENIORS. WE'’RE ADULTS NOW. 64 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,223 ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP 65 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,746 DOESN'’T HAVE TO MEAN ENDING THE FRIENDSHIP. 66 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,269 I MEAN, LOOK AT MATTY AND I. 67 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,053 IN A LOT OF WAYS, WE'’RE CLOSER THAN EVER. 68 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,490 - BECAUSE YOU HAD EX SEX? THAT DOESN'’T MEAN YOU'’RE CLOSE. 69 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,144 THAT JUST MEANS YOUR NAUGHTIES ARE. 70 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,623 - NO, BECAUSE WE SHARE THINGS WITH EACH OTHER 71 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,190 THAT WE WOULDN'’T SHARE WITH JUST ANYONE, 72 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,279 SORT OF LIKE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY. 73 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,151 - OKAY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 74 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,414 ARE YOU GUYS DATING OR MERELY MATING? 75 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,067 - I DON'’T KNOW. - [sighs] 76 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,634 WELL, YOU BETTER FIGURE IT OUT NOW, 77 00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:38,984 BECAUSE I AM OFFICIALLY NOT SPENDING MY SENIOR YEAR 78 00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:41,857 STARING AT YOUR "AM I IN OR AM I OUT" POUT. 79 00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,902 - SHE HAD A POINT. 80 00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,861 IN THE PAST, MATTY HAD BEEN A GIANT, FLAKY SLICE 81 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,819 IN MY PIE CHART OF PREOCCUPATIONS. 82 00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,386 BUT THINGS WERE DIFFERENT NOW. 83 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,214 HEY. HOW ARE YOU? 84 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:52,781 - I'’M FINE. 85 00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,957 - HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO YOUR PARENTS YET? 86 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,959 - NO, AND I DON'’T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT AT SCHOOL, 87 00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,004 OR AT ALL, REALLY. - I GET IT. 88 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,398 LISTEN, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS STUPID, 89 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,878 BUT I WAS WORRYING FOR, LIKE, A WHOLE DAY 90 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:05,663 THAT YOU REGRETTED HOOKING UP WITH ME. 91 00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,709 - JENNA, I NEED TO BE ABLE TO NOT TALK TO YOU FOR ONE DAY 92 00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,885 AND NOT HAVE YOU ASSUME I'’M NOT INTO YOU. 93 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,887 - I-I KNOW. I SAID IT WAS STUPID. 94 00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,455 - I'’M INTO YOU. 95 00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,631 - I'’M INTO YOU TOO. 96 00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,633 AND I JUST THOUGHT THAT IF WE'’D SAID IT 97 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:21,157 THAT NEITHER ONE OF US WOULD HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT WE ARE. 98 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,464 - OKAY. 99 00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,030 WHAT ARE WE? 100 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:28,164 - WE ARE TWO CONSENTING ADULTS 101 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:31,036 WHO CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER DEEPLY 102 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:36,216 AND ENJOY EXPRESSING THAT CARE PHYSICALLY... 103 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,000 FROM TIME TO TIME. 104 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,784 FRIENDS... 105 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,525 - WITH BENEFITS. 106 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,441 - I WASN'’T AWARE THAT WAS WHAT I WAS PROPOSING. 107 00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,138 BUT IF THAT'’S WHAT IT MEANT TO BE CLOSE, 108 00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,097 BUT TO NOT HAVE TO EXAMINE WHAT IT MEANT ALL THE TIME, 109 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,012 THEN, HEY, I WAS IN. 110 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,448 YEAH. I GUESS WE ARE. 111 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,233 - I'’M DOWN. 112 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,497 I'’LL SEE YOU LATER... FRIEND. 113 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,281 [chuckles] - OH. 114 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,457 HEY, I'’M AROUND TO TALK LATER AFTER SCHOOL. 115 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:03,199 - YEAH, MAYBE I'’LL, UH, HIT YOU UP LATER. 116 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,462 BUT IT WON'’T BE TO TALK. 117 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,551 - OKAY, SO MAYBE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY 118 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:10,467 WASN'’T SOMETHING YOU COULD ACHIEVE BETWEEN BIO AND GYM, 119 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,556 BUT AT LEAST HE KNEW I WAS THERE FOR HIM. 120 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:16,473 - WELCOME TO THE FIRST MEETING OF WE'’RE HERE, WE'’RE PEERS. 121 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,519 NOW LET'’S GET MENTORING. 122 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:21,217 BEING THE CHICKEN SOUP FOR SOMEONE ELSE'’S SOUL 123 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,132 IS A DELICATE BREW, 124 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,700 BUT YOU'’RE ABOUT TO LEARN FROM THE MASTER CHEF. 125 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,876 I'’VE MATCHED UP EACH SENIOR GIRL 126 00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,574 WITH A FRESHMAN IN NEED OF GUIDANCE. 127 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:33,795 THERE WILL BE A PROGRESS REVIEW AT THE END OF THE WEEK, 128 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,536 WHERE EACH FRESHMAN WILL SHARE WHAT SHE LEARNED, 129 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:39,104 AND EACH SENIOR WILL GET A COMMUNITY-SERVICE CREDIT. 130 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,063 - I LOVE YOUR MAXI DRESS! 131 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:44,109 - IT'’S CALLED HIJAB. WE WEAR IT FOR MODESTY. 132 00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,286 - AW. WELL, YOU SEEM NICE. 133 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,288 IT'’S TOO BAD YOU WON'’T GET INTO HEAVEN. 134 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,333 - IT'’S TOO BAD YOU WON'’T GET INTO JANNAH DRESSED LIKE THAT. 135 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,640 - IS THAT THE NEW THREE-LEVEL, OVER-18 CLUB IN WESTWOOD? 136 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,687 - IT'’S MUSLIM HEAVEN. IT HAS SEVEN LEVELS. 137 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:57,558 - I DON'’T KNOW WHY YOU NEED COUNSELING, CAITLIN. 138 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,777 YOU SEEM SUPES TOGETHER. 139 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,431 - THANKS. I'’M GRATEFUL, NOT HATEFUL. 140 00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,172 BEING A JOINER IS JUST IN MY DNA. 141 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:04,347 - SAME. DON'’T HATE... 142 00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,914 both: PARTICIPATE. 143 00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:08,960 - TRIPPY. 144 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,311 - I NEED LESS VIRGIN AT THE BUS STOP 145 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,790 AND MORE WHORE ON THE FLOOR. 146 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,618 - BUT I'’VE NEVER HAD SEX. 147 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,403 - AND I'’VE NEVER BITCH-SLAPPED AN OLSEN TWIN, 148 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:19,797 BUT THAT DOES NOT STOP ME FROM DRESSING LIKE I HAVE. 149 00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:21,016 WEAR IT TILL YOU TEAR IT. 150 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,278 - SADIE. 151 00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:24,715 S-A-D... 152 00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:27,805 I-E. 153 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,590 DO YOU NOT SPEAK ENGLISH? MINE'’S BROKEN! 154 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,418 I GOT A BROKEN ONE. 155 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,463 - SHE'’S AN EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM ESPANA. 156 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:36,118 SORRY, THAT'’S WHAT WAS LEFT. 157 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:40,775 EARLIER, SHIRI AND ANGEL HAD AN ALTERCATION IN THE HALLWAY. 158 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,560 THIS IS WHAT I CALL A TEACHABLE MOMENT. 159 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:49,218 - "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY WHEN I DON'’T FEEL I AM BEING HEARD." 160 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,568 - [Spanish accent] "IT MAKE ME A-FEEL..." 161 00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,483 - [whispering] FASTER. - QUE ES"ANGRY"? 162 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,224 - OKAY, I... - ENOJADO? 163 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,878 - I GOT A PARENT-TEACHER MEETING OFF CAMPUS IN ABOUT AN HOUR. 164 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,227 SO WHY DON'’T WE HAVE YOUR MENTORS 165 00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:00,621 SHOW YOU HOW IT'’S DONE, HUH? 166 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,756 - "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY"... 167 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,932 WHEN MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRLS, 168 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,586 WHO HAVE SPENT THE LAST THREE YEARS 169 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,067 GIVING HANDIES IN THE SANCTUARY, 170 00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,722 ALL OF A SUDDEN FIND AMBITION IN TIME FOR COLLEGE APPS 171 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:20,162 AND MONOPOLIZE MY FREE PERIOD WITH TOUCHY-FEELY BULL CACA. 172 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:24,035 - I WANTED TO RESPOND IN KIND TO SADIE'’S UNKIND RANT, 173 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,386 BUT I WANTED TO SUCCEED AS A MENTOR EVEN MORE, 174 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,605 AND THAT MEANT EMBRACING THE EXERCISE... 175 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,215 AND THE ENEMY. 176 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:33,480 IT'’S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT'’S NOT YOUR FAULT. 177 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,742 - EW! BAD TOUCH! 178 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:35,960 BAD TOUCH! 179 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,658 SERIOUSLY, I AM GOING TO PUKE. 180 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,445 - OH, HEY, YOU CAN HAVE THE TABLE. 181 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,360 I GOT A WORKING LUNCH-- WORKING ON MY MUSIC. 182 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,189 - OKAY, FLAG ON THE PLAYER-- 183 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,408 HE'’S TRYING TO SPIN THIS. 184 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,887 GIVING ME THE LUNCH TABLE, 185 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,976 HE IS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE THE GOOD GUY. 186 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,283 - CAN'’T YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT MAYBE HE IS THE GOOD GUY? 187 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,416 I'’M TELLING YOU, THIS IS HOW MATURE BREAKUPS GO. 188 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,461 - WELL, IF HE'’S EXPECTING EX SEX FROM ME, 189 00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,680 WE ARE NOT THERE... 190 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,029 YET. 191 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,814 - CAN I CRASH WITH YOU BITCHES? 192 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,251 - HEY, MATTY, ARE YOU NOT EATING? 193 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,297 - NOPE, NOT HUNGRY. 194 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,690 - OH, WELL, IF YOU GET HUNGRY LATER, 195 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,648 I'’LL NEVER FINISH THIS UNI. 196 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,998 - JAKE WON'’T MIND IF YOU SPEND SOME Q.T. WITH SOME CUTIES. 197 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,653 THIS LUNCH TABLE IS NEUTRAL GROUND. SIT. 198 00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,002 - YEAH, I DON'’T WANT TO SIT, 199 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,874 AND I DON'’T WANT UNI, WHATEVER THAT IS. 200 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,658 WHAT I WANT TO DO IS GO TO THE GYM AND LIFT WEIGHTS, 201 00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:25,445 WHICH IS WHERE I WAS HEADED BEFORE YOU GUYS STOPPED ME. 202 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,664 - JESUS, SOMEONE'’S ON THE ROID RAG. 203 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:30,145 - CUT HIM SOME SLACK. HE'’S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME. 204 00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,712 - YOU JUST HAD SEX WITH HIM. 205 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,322 WOULD IT KILL HIM TO HANG FOR ONE PANINI? 206 00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,411 - HE DOESN'’T HAVE TO TREAT ME LIKE A GIRLFRIEND. 207 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,153 WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. WE'’RE FRIENDS, NOT A COUPLE. 208 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:40,503 - ♪ I GUESS I'’M OUT OF LUCK BECAUSE ♪ 209 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,811 ♪ TOMORROW NEVER COMES 210 00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:46,553 ♪ TOMORROW NEVER COMES ♪ 211 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:50,948 - O.M. JESUS CREE! HE IS TAYLOR SWIFTING ME! 212 00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:52,733 - ♪ WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING ♪ 213 00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,261 - ♪ TOMORROW NEVER COMES 214 00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:03,526 ♪ AND I KEEP WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING ON ♪ 215 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,050 ♪ TOMORROW NEVER COMES 216 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,835 - FAKE JAKE! 217 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,358 YOU'’RE PULLING A TIMBERLAKE POST BRITNEY, 218 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,316 A TAYLOR SWIFT POST, LIKE, EVERYBODY. 219 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:15,103 THIS WANNABE REMIX TO JAKARA IS TOTALLY MISLEADING! 220 00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:19,281 TOMORROW DOES COME WHEN TOMORROW IS PROPERLY STIMULATED. 221 00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,804 - THIS SONG'’S NOT ABOUT YOU. 222 00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,546 IT'’S "TOMORROW." "TOMORROW NEVER COMES." 223 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,287 IT'’S ABOUT THE HOPELESSNESS OF LOVE. 224 00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:27,202 YOU DID BREAK MY HEART. 225 00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:29,073 all: AW. - OH. [scoffs] 226 00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:30,510 - BUT THE SONG'’S STILL NOT ABOUT YOU. 227 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:34,818 - OH, CRY ME A RIVER, ROSATI! 228 00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,952 - NOW, THIS IS THE BEAUTY OF SUBCONTRACTING MY JOB. 229 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,562 SHOULD'’VE DONE IT AGES AGO. 230 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,741 - MMM. MMM. 231 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,222 [wax strip tears] AAH! AAH! 232 00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,746 - OKAY, MAYBE IT WAS AN ODD COMBO, 233 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,966 BUT THE GROUPON WAS SO CHEAP. 234 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,620 - IT'’S KIND OF HARD TO ENJOY A SLOW-ROASTED MEAT 235 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,013 WHEN YOU'’RE HAVING MY PUBIC HAIR RIPPED OUT AT THE ROOT. 236 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:58,929 IT'’S ALSO HIGHLY UNSANITARY. 237 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,931 VAL, IT GOT A "B"! [scoffs] 238 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:03,499 - OH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS FOR "BRAZILIAN." 239 00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:06,981 - ♪ SHE WORKS AT THE LOCAL TAQUERIA ♪ 240 00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,548 ♪ SHE ALWAYS SMILES AT ME [computer chimes] 241 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,419 ♪ WHEN I GO THERE 242 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,247 - WHAT UP, MENTOR? 243 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,249 I NEED A LITTLE PEER COUNSELING. YOU GOT A MINUTE? 244 00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:15,772 - SURE. 245 00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,208 - IS IT OKAY TO HOOK UP 246 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,471 WITH THREE GUYS IN ONE NIGHT? 247 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,735 - YOU MEAN AT THE SAME TIME? - OF COURSE NOT. 248 00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:24,781 I'’M NOT A SLUT. [knock at door] 249 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,653 - ANGEL, WILL YOU HOLD ON A SEC? 250 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,570 - IS THAT MATTY MCKIBBEN? 251 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,920 SILF! SENIOR I'’D LIKE TO-- 252 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,748 - WE'’RE JUST FRIENDS. [laughs] 253 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:35,923 MM. 254 00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:38,621 - FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS! BOO-YAH! 255 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,710 - UM, I HAVE TO GO. 256 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,146 BUT DON'’T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'’T DO. 257 00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,800 - WHAT IS THAT, BACK DOOR? 258 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,150 - HEY. COME HERE. 259 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,283 - THIS WAS A MUCH DIFFERENT MATTY FROM EARLIER. 260 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,459 CLEARLY WORKING OUT HAD PUT HIM IN A BETTER MOOD. 261 00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:52,504 I DIDN'’T KNOW YOU WERE COMING OVER TONIGHT. 262 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,115 - I WANTED TO SEE YOU. 263 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:56,683 - OR MAYBE IT HAD JUST PUT HIM IN THE MOOD. 264 00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,120 - UH, I HAVE CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANGON DVD. 265 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,165 I KNOW IT'’S DORKY, BUT, UH, IT ALWAYS CHEERS ME UP. 266 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,950 YOU WANT TO WATCH IT? - YEAH. 267 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:05,387 CAN WE... WATCH IT LAYING DOWN? 268 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,910 - MATTY SEEMED SOLELY FOCUSED 269 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,303 ON THE BENEFITS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, 270 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,348 BUT I CAN'’T REALLY SAY I MINDED. 271 00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:11,741 - HEY. 272 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:13,177 - OH! - OH! 273 00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:15,484 HI, MATTY! - HI. 274 00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:18,052 - UH, JENNA, DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THOSE PAINKILLERS LEFT 275 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,054 FROM WHEN YOU HAD YOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT? 276 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,533 THAT'’S THE LAST TIME I GOT TO A DISCOUNT SPA. 277 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:23,187 THANK YOU. 278 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,059 THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME I HAD CRABS. 279 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:27,191 - MOM! - FROM NANA'’S AFGHAN! 280 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,019 SHE GOT IT FROM A THRIFT STORE IN THE VALLEY. 281 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:30,717 [chuckles] AH! 282 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,240 EEH. [door closes] 283 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,416 - DO YOU STILL WANT TO... - I THINK I'’M GOOD. 284 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:37,332 - WE CAN JUST HANG. 285 00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:41,510 - UH, YEAH, I'’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD TO JUST HANG. 286 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,643 BUT I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 287 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,993 - THERE WOULD BE NO BANG-BANG THAT NIGHT, 288 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,777 AND THAT SEEMED TO MAKE MATTY'’S GOOD MOOD 289 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,301 ONCE AGAIN TURN CHITTY. [door closes] 290 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,785 - HEY, MAN, WHAT DID THAT WATER BOTTLE EVER DO TO YOU? 291 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:58,440 - OH. NOTHING. 292 00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,876 MY, UH--MY PARENTS SUCK. 293 00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:02,879 - WHY? 294 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,316 - JUST--SINCE THEY SPLIT UP, THEY ARE EVEN WORSE THAN USUAL. 295 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,492 SO... - YEAH, SPLITTING UP SUCKS. 296 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,016 I MEAN, UNLESS IT'’S FROM TAMARA, 297 00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,279 AND THEN IT'’S THE BEST THING EVER. 298 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:13,107 - HEY, MAN, NO OFFENSE, BUT DO YOU MIND 299 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,804 IF WE, UH, DON'’T TALK ANYMORE? 300 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,719 - YEAH, DUDE. NO, WE DON'’T HAVE TO TALK. 301 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,461 WE'’RE GUYS... 302 00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,550 SENIOR GUYS. 303 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,204 I THINK IT'’S ABOUT TIME 304 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:26,511 WE SHOULD START CASHING IN THE THOSE CHIPS. 305 00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:29,253 [strums acoustic ballad] 306 00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,472 - ARE YOU SEEING THIS? 307 00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:31,734 HE HAS GROUPIES-- 308 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,997 EVEN MY PEER MENTEE, CAITLIN. 309 00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,520 ONE OF HIS "WHORECEROR'’S" APPRENTICES 310 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,175 MADE HIM A FAN PAGE LAST NIGHT. 311 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:41,396 - UM, IT SAYS YOU'’RE NO LONGER CONNECTED TO THIS USER. 312 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,267 - HE BLOCKED ME? 313 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:45,574 OH, GAME ON. 314 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,971 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HIDEOUS THING ON YOUR HEAD? 315 00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:54,061 - LEARNING ABOUT MUSLIM CULTURE. IT'’S REALLY NEAT. 316 00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,367 LIKE, DO YOU KNOW MUSLIMS HAVE SEVEN LEVELS OF HEAVEN? 317 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,239 WE ONLY HAVE ONE! 318 00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:02,025 AND EACH LEVEL IS LIKE A SANDALS RESORT, BUT BETTER. 319 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:05,289 - SHIRI, FIND THE NEAREST MENTAL WARD. 320 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,291 - WHY CAN'’T SHE WEAR HER SCARF? 321 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,946 - HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING? 322 00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:12,209 TAKE THIS DOWN. 323 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,342 "YOU'’RE NOT BEING A GOOD FRIEND WHEN YOU DON'’T TELL SOMEONE 324 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,517 THEY LOOK RIDICULOUS"... 325 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,432 WHICH YOU DO. 326 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:18,912 YOU'’RE WELCOME. 327 00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,348 [snaps fingers] 328 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:25,483 - [strumming ballad] 329 00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:27,311 [stops strumming] 330 00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,313 [strumming continues] 331 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,576 - OKAY! LISTEN UP! 332 00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,622 PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT-- 333 00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:36,277 THERE WILL BE NO MORE MUSIC IN THE CAFETERIA. 334 00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:39,193 IT IS DISTRACTING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO STUDY. 335 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,586 - WHAT? NO! - SHE'’S RIGHT. 336 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,327 THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE, 337 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:46,026 WHICH IS WHY I'’M HAVING A PRIVATECONCERT 338 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,679 AT MY PLACE TOMORROW NIGHT. 339 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,594 SO WHO'’S IN? 340 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,031 - UH, SORRY, SWEETIE. 341 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:53,685 THERE'’S A MANDATORY PEER-MENTOR MEETING 342 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:56,645 TOMORROW NIGHT AT JENNA'’S. 343 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:59,256 - THERE IS? - WHAT, YOU HAVE OTHER PLANS? 344 00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,388 - MATTY MIGHT SHOW UP UNEXPECTEDLY. 345 00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,042 HE DID LAST NIGHT. 346 00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,957 - JENNA, I DON'’T WATCH TV IN THE SUMMER. 347 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,610 KNOW WHY? - NO, WHY? 348 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,917 - BECAUSE I HATE RERUNS. 349 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,440 THIS IS JUST LIKE SOPHOMORE YEAR. 350 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,138 HE'’S GETTING WHAT HE WANTS, AND YOU'’RE NOT. 351 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,270 - AND WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I WANT? 352 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:16,317 - TO BE MORE THAN MATTY'’S SEX-TRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY. 353 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,493 I DON'’T CARE HOW EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE HE IS. 354 00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,669 IF HE CAN'’T BE CIVIL TO YOU AT LUNCH 355 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:22,366 OR MAKE PLANS WITH YOU RATHER THAN JUST SHOWING UP 356 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,151 WHENEVER HE FEELS LIKE IT, THEN... 357 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,849 YOU'’RE HIS "F" BUDDY, NOT HIS FRIEND. 358 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,245 - HEY, JENNA, GOT ANOTHER MENTOR QUESTION FOR YOU. 359 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,942 WHEN GOING DOWN, 360 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,378 IS IT CUSTOMARY TO TAKE OUT YOUR TONGUE RING? 361 00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:36,511 [upbeat music] 362 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,252 - OKAY. 363 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,862 SO HERE'’S THE FIRST STOP ON THE JENNA HAMILTON 364 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,908 SCARED-STRAIGHT TOUR OF CAMPUS. 365 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,432 THIS IS WHERE I HAD MANY ILL-ADVISED SECRET HOOKUPS. 366 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,434 I DIDN'’T RESPECT MYSELF, AND WORST OF ALL, 367 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,349 I DIDN'’T DEMAND RESPECT FROM GUYS. 368 00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:51,134 - HEY, HAMILTON. LOOKING GOOD. '’SUP? 369 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,832 - WOW. THIS IS THE BALLS-- 370 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,008 A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN COME DURING SCHOOL TO GET SOME? 371 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,400 [laughs] - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 372 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,141 ALL RIGHT. 373 00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:02,711 OKAY, AND THIS IS WHERE I SPENT MANY LUNCHES ALONE 374 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,582 AFTER COMPLETELY ALIENATING ALL OF MY FRIENDS. 375 00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:05,845 - [screams] 376 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,283 - OH, HEY, BIATCHES. 377 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,937 THANK GOD THERE'’S AT LEAST ONE PLACE 378 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,416 WHERE WE CAN PIERCE IN PEACE. 379 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,983 JUST GO GET SOME ANTIBIOTIC CREAM. 380 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,680 YOU'’RE GONNA NEED IT FOR LOTS OF STUFF. 381 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,073 - [laughs] 382 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,466 COOL. 383 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,250 - NO, NOT COOL. 384 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,122 OKAY, LAST STOP, THE PARKING LOT. 385 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,211 THIS IS WHERE LOSERS GO TO CUT CLASS. 386 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:25,952 I USED TO COME HERE AND SIT AND STARE 387 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,171 AND AVOID EVERYTHING I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH IN LIFE. 388 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,308 - [sighs] - MATTY? 389 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:35,918 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - HUH? 390 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,486 [sniffles] NOTHING. 391 00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:41,881 - I'’LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY? 392 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,753 - [sighs] 393 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,886 - ARE YOU HIGH? 394 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,452 - NOPE. 395 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:50,193 - COME ON, YOUR EYES ARE ALL RED. 396 00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:53,457 YOU'’VE EITHER BEEN SMOKING OR CRYING. 397 00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,590 MATTY, ARE YOU OKAY? 398 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,679 IT HAD BECOME CLEAR THAT MATTY WAS USING SEX 399 00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,769 TO AVOID WHAT HE REALLY SHOULD'’VE BEEN DEALING WITH. 400 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,292 I WANTED TO RESPECT HIS FEELINGS, 401 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,468 BUT I NEEDED TO FEEL RESPECTED MYSELF. 402 00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:06,340 - COME ON, LET'’S GET IN THE BACK. 403 00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:09,212 - IGNORING THAT WAS ONE MISTAKE I COULDN'’T AFFORD TO REPEAT. 404 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,823 MATTY, I'’M NOT SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY NEED. 405 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:14,565 - HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED? [sniffles] 406 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,567 - BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT YOU'’RE GOING THROUGH. 407 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,961 - YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH. 408 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,964 - WELL, I'’M TRYING TO. I'’M TRYING TO BE... 409 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,532 - TO BE WHAT? - A FRIEND. 410 00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,360 BUT THE WAY YOU'’RE ACTING IS MAKING ME FEEL 411 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,231 LESS LIKE A BUDDY AND MORE LIKE A [bleep]. 412 00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:29,929 - I'’M SORRY YOU SEE IT THAT WAY, JENNA. 413 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,887 I GUESS I'’VE JUST BEEN A LITTLE BUSY 414 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:34,498 DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE. 415 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:35,935 - AND I'’M SORRY ABOUT THAT-- - THAT IS JUST IT, JENNA. 416 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,372 I DON'’T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY. 417 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:41,070 I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT THE HELL ALONE! 418 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:46,510 NO, I DIDN'’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. 419 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:50,384 - SO YOU JUST WANT TO... 420 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,603 - FOR RIGHT NOW, YEAH. 421 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:56,129 SO IF YOU CAN'’T HANDLE THAT, THEN JUST TELL ME. 422 00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,915 - I CAN'’T HANDLE IT. 423 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:03,527 - ♪ I WISH, I WISH I... 424 00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:06,443 ♪ COULD SHUT IT OFF 425 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,101 - YOU SEE, THAT'’S WHY 426 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,102 IT'’S VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE GOALS. 427 00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:14,538 - IT IS 8:15. 428 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,062 CAITLIN IS OFFICIALLY BITCH-DITCHING. 429 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,585 I KNOW THAT SLUT-SKANK WENT TO JAKE'’S. 430 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,195 - YOU MEAN LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE? 431 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,631 WHY AM I HERE IF NO ONE ELSE HAS TO BE? 432 00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:21,937 - SHE'’S PROBABLY GIVING HIS PRIVATES A CONCERT 433 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,678 AS WE SPEAK, 434 00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,462 BUT I WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME! 435 00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,203 - YOU'’RE NOT DATING HIM ANYMORE. 436 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,075 ANGEL, EARMUFFS. - [sighs] 437 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,079 - I AM NOT DATING HIM, 438 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,558 BUT THAT DOESN'’T MEAN I WANT ANYBODY ELSE DATING HIM! 439 00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,169 IT'’S A CLASSIC BIZNATCH-22. 440 00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,258 I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM, 441 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,650 BUT I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT'’S GOING ON WITH HIM. 442 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:42,566 [distant laughter] 443 00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,351 - I'’M SIGNING IT "FIRE CROTCH." [laughter] 444 00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:46,701 - YEAH! - WHOA, WHOA! MOM! 445 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,659 [all sigh] 446 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,096 - WE'’RE WRITING A REVENGE REVIEW OF THE "SPASTAURANT" 447 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,053 THAT GAVE US COOCHIE POISONING. 448 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,924 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 449 00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,970 - "I'’VE SEEN CLEANER FLOORS IN A BANGKOK BATHHOUSE." 450 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,667 - THAT WAS MINE. - SWISH! 451 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,321 - OKAY, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO MAKE ENEMIES 452 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,236 WITH PEOPLE WHO SPEAR MEAT ONTO SHARP STICKS? 453 00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:02,151 - IT'’S FINE. WE MADE UP A FAKE NAME. 454 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:05,154 - THAT'’S SMART! - MM-HMM. 455 00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:07,896 - WELL, YOU BITCHES REALLY KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN. 456 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,029 IT'’S BEEN A REAL EYE-OPENER. - REALLY? 457 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,248 - REALLY! I'’M TOTALLY READY FOR THE PROGRESS MEETING TOMORROW. 458 00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:15,860 - ♪ LOOSEN UP 459 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,123 [computer chiming] 460 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:22,911 ♪ LOOSEN UP 461 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:26,915 ♪ 462 00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:29,657 - "HAVE WE MET?" 463 00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:33,965 - "NO, BUT I LISTENED TO SOME MUSIC ON YOUR FAN PAGE." 464 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,315 [computer chimes] 465 00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,752 "YOU ARE CUTE." 466 00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:42,844 ♪ 467 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:46,500 - WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO WE'’RE HERE, WE'’RE PEERS. 468 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,024 LET'’S FIND OUT IF WE'’VE LEARNED ANYTHING, HMM? 469 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:50,460 SHIRI? 470 00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:55,117 - I HAVE LEARNED THAT IT DOES NOT PAY TO BE SHY. 471 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:57,554 YOU GOT TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT THEY NEED TO HEAR. 472 00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,556 LIKE YOU... 473 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:03,299 YOU NEED A POP OF COLOR. YOU LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE. 474 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:07,651 POLKA DOTS ARE FOR CLOWNS IN THE CIRCUS. 475 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:11,264 AND FANNY PACKS ARE SOLELY MEANT FOR THE ELDERLY AND DISABLED. 476 00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,440 [laughs] 477 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,659 DE NADA. 478 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,008 [light applause] 479 00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,837 - GRACIAS,SHIRI. 480 00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,622 [door closes] 481 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,102 - [whispering] HI, BABY. HEY, ANGEL. 482 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,191 [sighs] 483 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:28,933 SORRY I'’M LATE, SWEETIE. I WOULDN'’T MISS YOUR BIG MOMENT. 484 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,718 - I GOT TO BE HONEST. 485 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:32,285 I DIDN'’T THINK I HAD ANYTHING TO LEARN 486 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,113 FROM THIS STUPID PROGRAM. 487 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,506 ALL MY LIFE I NEVER REALLY KNEW WHAT I WANTED TO BE, 488 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,247 AND I DIDN'’T CARE. 489 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,337 BUT NOW I HAVE MET SOMEONE WHO'’S SO FREAKIN'’ COOL 490 00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,948 THAT I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HER. 491 00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:48,344 AND THANKS TO MY MENTOR, JENNA, I HAVE SET A GOAL. 492 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,781 I WANT TO BE 16 AND PREGNANT! 493 00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,566 [hard rock music] 494 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,394 AND I HAVE JENNA AND HER BADASS MOM TO THANK 495 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:55,743 FOR INSPIRING ME. 496 00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:58,180 [sighs] 497 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:17,591 - I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE AS A MENTOR. 498 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:20,202 - YEAH, BUT YOUR MOM IS THE COOLEST. 499 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:23,423 SO YOU CAN'’T REALLY BLAME ANGEL FOR WANTING TO BE LIKE HER. 500 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,642 AND DON'’T BE SO HARD ON MY GIRL. 501 00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,992 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE FIRST BROUGHT TO MY OFFICE? 502 00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,994 YOU TOTALLY PUSHED ME AWAY. 503 00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,649 BUT I STAYED ON YOU BECAUSE I CARED, 504 00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:35,739 AND I KNEW THAT YOUR CRAPPY, CRAPPY ATTITUDE 505 00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,177 HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. 506 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,961 DON'’T GIVE UP... 507 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,876 EXCEPT ON THIS PROGRAM. 508 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,747 AFTER HE HEARS ABOUT ANGEL'’S SPEECH, 509 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:46,010 PRINCIPAL COX WILL PROBABLY PULL THE PLUG. 510 00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:49,579 BUT... [inhales sharply] DON'’T GIVE UP, IN GENERAL. 511 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,886 - I WON'’T. 512 00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,366 - YEAH, PROBABLY SHOULDN'’T GET TOO CLOSE 513 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,672 UNTIL I GET RID OF THIS RASH. 514 00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,109 - VAL WAS RIGHT-- I NEEDED TO STAY ON MATTY, 515 00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,676 BECAUSE THE MORE HE PUSHED ME AWAY... 516 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,635 [doorbell rings] THE MORE HE REALLY NEEDED ME. 517 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:04,638 AND I WAS GOING TO BE THERE FOR HIM. 518 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:08,119 - OH, HEY, JENNA. 519 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,731 - UH, IS MATTY HERE? 520 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,646 - YEAH, BUT I'’M NOT SURE HE'’S UP FOR COMPANY. 521 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:15,518 YOU WERE RIGHT--HE'’S REALLY NOT IN A GREAT PLACE RIGHT NOW. 522 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:19,087 I THINK HE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE TO TALK TO. 523 00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:22,003 - UNFORTUNATELY, IT LOOKED LIKE EVA HAD GOTTEN THERE FIRST. 524 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:26,050 - I'’LL TELL HIM YOU STOPPED BY. 525 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,009 [door closes] 526 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:31,447 - ♪ WHEN THE SKY FELL DOWN 527 00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:39,368 - NEXT ON AWKWARD... [whistle blows] 528 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,282 - IF THE SENIORS DON'’T WIN SPIRIT WEEK, 529 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:41,544 I'’LL JUMP OVERBOARD. 530 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:42,415 - FOR THE FIRST TIME IN RECORDED HISTORY, 531 00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,112 THE SENIORS MIGHT LOSE SPIRIT WEEK. 532 00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:45,635 - [bleep] JUST GOT REAL. 533 00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:48,029 - SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE-- 534 00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:49,987 EVA FOR CONVERSATION, 535 00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:51,598 AND MACKENZIE WAS CLEARLY AVAILABLE 536 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,252 FOR WHATEVER ELSE HE NEEDED. 537 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,472 - IT MUST SUCK TO BE OLD AND UNDESIRABLE. 40150

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