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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:02,735
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:03,946
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
3
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:06,104
HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪
4
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:12,177
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
5
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:16,514
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
6
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:20,385
♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
7
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:24,723
♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
8
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,426
♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
9
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,694
♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪
10
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,242
♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪
11
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,843
♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪
12
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,045
♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪
13
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,080
♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪
14
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,183
♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪
15
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,307
♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪
16
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,576
♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪
17
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,611
♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪
18
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,781
♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪
19
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,260
♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪
20
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,983
♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,287
♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪
22
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,433
♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪
23
00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:59,869
♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪
24
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:03,228
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
25
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:09,134
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
26
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:13,638
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
27
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:14,940
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
28
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,809
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪
29
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,149
EIGHT TIMES FIVE...
30
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,685
CARRY THE THREE.
31
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,687
AW, DAMN IT.
32
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,257
I'VE GOT TO MAKE THIS
SPEECH TOMORROW,
33
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:36,828
AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO ABOUT THE... ECONOMY.
34
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:39,297
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS MAN?
35
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:42,078
IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE NOT
WATCHING ENOUGH TELEVISION.
36
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,414
- HE'S TOMMY WU.
- HEY, IDIOT!
37
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,572
ROTTING IN YOUR OWN FILTH!
38
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,975
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS
EXCELLENT LIFESTYLE I'M LIVING? DING!
39
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,890
JUST A FEW MOMENTS TO
AIR, MR. PRESIDENT. ALL RIGHT.
40
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,847
OKAY. LET'S CLEAR.
41
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,060
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
42
00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:01,886
IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO...
43
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,888
FELLOW AMERICANS,
44
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,959
I'VE BEEN STAYING UP LATE, NIGHTHAWKIN'
IT, BURNIN' THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS,
45
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:11,129
THINKIN' ABOUT THIS...
ECONOMIC MESS WE'RE IN.
46
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:15,000
AND I'LL TELL YA, THE WHOLE THING
MAKES ME WANNA EXHALE LIQUID.
47
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:20,872
BUT I'M NOT GONNA,
NOT THIS TIME.
48
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,174
I'VE GOT A LITTLE
TRICK UP MY SLEEVE.
49
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:28,146
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, PLEASE WELCOME
MY NEW CHIEF ECONOMIC ADVISOR...
50
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,148
THE DONALD TRUMP
OF THE ORIENT...
51
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:33,384
AND THE REIGNING KING
OF LATE-NIGHT TELEVISION...
52
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:36,053
MR. TOMMY WU.
53
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:38,757
COME ON OUT HERE, TOM.
THANK YOU, MR. GEORGE.
54
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:44,229
JAPANESE SAY PROBLEM
WITH U.S. ECONOMY...
55
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:47,332
IS THAT AMERICAN
WORKER FAT AND LAZY.
56
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:50,435
OH, YEAH. BUT THEY
ONLY GOT IT HALF RIGHT.
57
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,371
AMERICAN WORKER STUPID TOO.
58
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,808
YOU WANT TO SEE NICE PICTURE
OF AMERICAN AUTO WORKER?
59
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:59,644
THEN LOOK UP
"IMBECILE" IN DICTIONARY.
60
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,480
WHOA, WU. WHOA.
61
00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:06,584
STICK TO THE THOUSAND
POINTS OF LIGHT. SORRY.
62
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:11,189
OKAY. PLAN IS SO SIMPLE EVEN
AMERICAN CAN UNDERSTAND IT.
63
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:13,358
STEP ONE.
64
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,562
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH
BEAUTIFUL CALIFORNIA GIRL...
65
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,798
WITH INTELLIGENCE OF HEAD LICE.
66
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,802
STEP TWO. BUY SPORT CAR.
67
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:28,773
THAT ALL MAKES PERFECT
SENSE. THEN WHAT, WU?
68
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,343
THAT IT, STUPID!
69
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,847
NOW PEOPLE LEND YOU MONEY...
70
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,850
BECAUSE THEY THINK
YOU'RE SO DAMN SUCCESSFUL.
71
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,720
I KNOW IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
MUCH, BUT I'VE CHECKED IT OUT...
72
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:44,322
SCRUTINIZED IT,
SPANKED IT, DIAPERED IT,
73
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:48,192
KICKED IT IN THE PANTS, RAN IT UP
THE FLAG POLE TO SEE WHO'D SALUTE.
74
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:53,031
AND I'M HERE TO TELL
YA, TOM WU'S PLAN WORKS.
75
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:57,369
SEE, AFTER I TOOK THE SEMINAR,
76
00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,439
I PICKED UP THIS
HOUSE... NO MONEY DOWN.
77
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:05,110
WHY CAN'T YOU DO
THAT? AND THAT'S NOT ALL.
78
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:07,011
PRESIDENT BUSH GOT BOAT!
79
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,980
GOT PRIVATE PLANE!
80
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:12,417
HE EVEN TAKE VACATION
IN MIDDLE OF GULF WAR!
81
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,463
AND I'LL TELL YA ANOTHER THING.
82
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:19,190
NOT EVERY WOMAN I SLEEP WITH LOOKS
LIKE SHE JUST STEPPED OFF A $1.00 BILL.
83
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,425
HEY THERE, GEORGIE'S GIRLS.
84
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,265
THAT'S RIGHT. SINCE
BUSH LEARN SECRET,
85
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,934
NO LONGER PEOPLE
CALL HIM "LIMP WIMP."
86
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,936
NO WAY, WU.
87
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:35,139
NOT SINCE I BOUGHT UP FIVE DEFUNCT
S AND L's FOR 10 CENTS ON THE DOLLAR.
88
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,709
AND HOW MUCH PROFIT YOU
MAKE ON THOSE, GEORGE?
89
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:41,046
I MADE 300,000 G's.
G's FOR GEORGE.
90
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,281
NOW, WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT?
91
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:47,151
AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT TOMMY
WU'S PLAN WORKED FOR BARBARA TOO.
92
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,787
COME ON OUT HERE, BAR.
93
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:55,694
SO, IF YOU CAN READ
AT ALL, READ MY LIPS.
94
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:59,898
STOP STIMULATING YOURSELF,
AND STIMULATE ECONOMY!
95
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,467
AND READ MY LIPS.
96
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:06,071
ASK YOURSELF NOT WHAT
YOUR COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU,
97
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,874
BUT ASK YOURSELF...
WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT?
98
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:13,344
GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS.
99
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,618
♪♪
100
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,096
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
101
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,165
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME
YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
102
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,334
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
103
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,803
♪ JUST GIVE IT TO ME ♪
104
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,740
♪ MMM, YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
105
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,809
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO
ME MMM, GIVE IT TO ME ♪
106
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,011
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
107
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,914
♪ JUST GIVE IT TO
ME GIVE IT TO ME ♪
108
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,150
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
109
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,753
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
110
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:57,556
♪ MMM, YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
111
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,958
♪ JUST GIVE IT TO ME ♪
112
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,961
♪ MMM, YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
113
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,364
♪ YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO ME ♪
114
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:08,900
♪ MMM, YOU GOTTA
GIVE IT TO ME JUST... ♪♪
115
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:15,006
AND NOW ANOTHER EPISODE
OF THE HEAD DETECTIVE.
116
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,445
THIS IS PATHETIC.
117
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,814
I'M SHOCKED THAT AN
OFFICER FROM THIS PRECINCT...
118
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,617
HAS STOLEN $20,000
IN EVIDENCE MONEY.
119
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,632
COME ON, CHIEF. NO ONE
IN THIS ROOM IS A THIEF.
120
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:33,424
I DON'T KNOW, PARTNER. SMELLS LIKE
SOMEONE STOLE YOUR DEODORANT.
121
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:37,562
I'M GONNA SEARCH EVERY OFFICER'S LOCKER
IN THIS ROOM, STARTING WITH THE HEAD.
122
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,698
CHIEF, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
123
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:43,234
HEAD'S NEVER DONE A DISHONEST
THING IN HIS LIFE. LOOK AT THIS FACE.
124
00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:48,006
SORRY, HEAD. I'VE GOTTA
DO WHAT I GOTTA DO.
125
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,849
WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOK
WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
126
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,585
I DIDN'T DO IT. IT'S A
SETUP. CAN'T YOU SEE?
127
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,720
THEY'RE TRYIN' TO SET
ME UP. I DIDN'T TAKE IT.
128
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,723
YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR
PROBLEM IS, HEAD?
129
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:08,359
YOU'RE CAUGHT RED-HANDED, AND YOU
CAN'T EVEN ADMIT IT. YOU HAVE NO GUTS.
130
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,506
THAT SHOULDN'T SURPRISE
YOU. I DON'T HAVE ANY SPLEEN.
131
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:13,331
I GOT ONE GENITAL
AND A HALF A COLON.
132
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,900
SHUT UP, HEAD.
133
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,402
I'M SENDING YOU AWAY
FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.
134
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:22,273
I-I WON'T GO. YOU CAN'T SEND
ME AWAY. TELL 'IM, PARTNER.
135
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,909
GET OUTTA HERE, YOU THIEF. OH!
136
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,061
GEE, I STICK MY NECK OUT FOR
THE FORCE ALL THESE YEARS,
137
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,019
AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?
138
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:37,255
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
139
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,357
HEY, MAN, WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?
140
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,727
OH, MAN, THEY SAID I LOOKED
UP SOME LADY'S DRESS.
141
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,807
IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD ANY
CHOICE IN THE MATTER.
142
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,765
YEAH. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
143
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,811
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT KIND
OF A NICE SMILE YOURSELF.
144
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,803
HEY! DON'T TOUCH ME.
I'M NOT INTO HEADS, OKAY?
145
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,753
SAY, LOOK, PAL, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T
RUN AWAY FROM YOUR FEELINGS IN HERE.
146
00:07:56,777 --> 00:08:00,211
I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE HERE
FOR THREE YEARS TOGETHER.
147
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:03,715
LISTEN, BUDDY, YOU STAY ON YOUR SIDE
OF THE CAGE. I'LL STAY ON MINE, OKAY?
148
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:06,150
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I
WANNA GET SOME SLEEP.
149
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:11,188
WELL, YEAH, BUT, UH, YOU KNOW,
THE BED'S ON MY SIDE OF THE CAGE.
150
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:17,362
OKAY, BUT YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO SHAVE FIRST.
151
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,668
HE LOVES ME.
152
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,971
HE LOVES ME NOT.
153
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,440
HE LOVES ME.
154
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,144
HE LOVES ME NOT.
155
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:35,947
PSST! HEAD! YES, DARLING?
156
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,584
HEAD, WAKE UP. IT'S
ME. HEY, PARTNER.
157
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,586
HEY, WHO'S THAT WITH YOU?
158
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,956
OH, THAT'S JUST, UH...
HE'S JUST LOU, A GUY I MET.
159
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,625
- YOU DIDN'T...
- WHAT, LIKE IT? NO.
160
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,806
I DIDN'T LIKE IT. OF COURSE I
DIDN'T. IT WAS JUST A LITTLE FOOTSIE.
161
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,830
SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH! OKAY,
OKAY. WE'LL DEAL WITH THAT LATER.
162
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,077
LISTEN, I KNOW WHO
FRAMED YOU, HEAD. WHO?
163
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,235
- IT WAS THE CHIEF.
- OH, GOD, NO.
164
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,316
YOU GOTTA GET ME OUTTA
HERE. ALL RIGHT. HANG ON.
165
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,785
HEY, PARTNER. ONE
OTHER THING. YEAH?
166
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,609
LET'S KIND OF KEEP THIS
BETWEEN ME AND YOU.
167
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:09,413
SURE. OUR SECRET, HEAD.
168
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,182
THANKS.
169
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,622
AND WHERE THE HELL DO
YOU THINK YOU'RE GOIN'?
170
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,851
UH-OH. THEY GOT US
SURROUNDED, HEAD.
171
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,762
NONSENSE, PARTNER. REMEMBER
WHEN YOU PLAYED WITH PELÉ?
172
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,397
MAN, YOU WERE THE GREATEST
SOCCER PLAYER IN THE WORLD.
173
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,466
HEAD, THIS IS NO
TIME TO REMINISCE.
174
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:31,770
NO. DON'T YOU SEE WHAT I'M
DRIVIN' AT? KICK ME PAST 'EM.
175
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:35,339
IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.
DAMN IT! JUST DO IT.
176
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,308
ALL RIGHT. ! JUEGAN, AMIGOS!
177
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,046
GO, MAN! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
178
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,689
HEY. HEY, BRING HIM BACK HERE.
179
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,758
I'LL GIVE YOU A
PACK OF CIGARETTES.
180
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,402
ALL RIGHT. YES.
181
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,474
PEEKABOO.
182
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:12,777
LOOK LIKE THE GAME'S
OVER, HUH, CHIEF?
183
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:16,513
I JUST WANNA KNOW ONE
THING. WHY'D YOU FRAME ME?
184
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:18,883
I HAD TO.
185
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,664
FOR THE LAST SIX YEARS, YOU'VE
WON THE OFFICE LIMBO CONTEST,
186
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,621
AND I'M SICK OF IT.
187
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,623
WITH YOU OUT OF THE WAY,
188
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:28,693
I WAS GUARANTEED TO
BE LIMBO CHAMP THIS YEAR.
189
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,007
NOW YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING.
190
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:35,433
YEAH, WELL, NOW IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE GONNA DO SOME TIME, CHIEF.
191
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:38,169
I WANT YOU TO SAY HELLO
TO MY FRIEND, BIG LOU.
192
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,438
NO! NO, NOT LOU! NOT
LOU! YEAH. BIG LOU.
193
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:44,508
HE LIKES IT WHEN
YOU TOUCH HIS BEARD.
194
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,510
THE CREEP.
195
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,557
♪♪
GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!
196
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,351
ALL RIGHT, PARTNER. YOUR TURN.
197
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,254
HECK. YOU BETTER LOWER
THAT ABOUT 25 INCHES.
198
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:02,293
- I WANNA GO ANKLE-HIGH.
- COME ON!
199
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:10,334
LOWER! KEEP GOING! GO! GO LOW!
200
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:13,671
AH-HA-HA! WHOO!
201
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:20,411
THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER
EPISODE OF THE HEAD DETECTIVE.
202
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,717
ON BEHALF OF THE UNITED NATIONS,
203
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:29,554
I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT A
PEACEFUL SETTLEMENT HAS BEEN REACHED...
204
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,290
BETWEEN THE
PALESTINIANS AND ISRAELIS,
205
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,726
AND WE HOPE IT LASTS
A THOUSAND YEARS.
206
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,632
NOW, TO HELP US CELEBRATE
THIS NEW BEGINNING,
207
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,369
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE A
GOODWILL AMBASSADOR...
208
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,638
WHO HAS BROUGHT
LAUGHTER TO THOUSANDS.
209
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,941
PLEASE WELCOME DON RICKLES.
210
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:52,543
♪♪
211
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,457
♪♪ THANK YOU, MY DARLING, FOR
THAT WONDERFUL INTRODUCTION.
212
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,860
NOW WAIT IN THE CAR. ANYWAY...
213
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:12,597
YEAH, BABY. CAN I GET A "AMEN"?
214
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,565
IT'S A GOOD THING YOU
CUT IT OFF, THOUGH,
215
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:18,803
BECAUSE THE ARAB WAS
GONNA MAKE A BID. AW!
216
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,840
BY THE WAY, HABIB, YOUR WIFE
CALLED. THE SLURPEE MACHINE IS BROKE.
217
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,576
ANYWAY...
218
00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:28,613
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S HERE. SOMEBODY
RUBBED A LAMP, AND I GET THREE WISHES. AW!
219
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:30,848
NO, SERIOUSLY, MY FRIEND,
220
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,851
GOD KNOWS I LOVE
THE ARAB PEOPLE.
221
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,853
I COUGH THEIR
NAMES UP EVERY DAY.
222
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,233
ACHMED! AW!
223
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,124
THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
224
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:42,460
YOU'RE AN ISRAELI. PARDON ME. I DIDN'T
RECOGNIZE YOU WITHOUT THE GAS MASK.
225
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,796
AW!
226
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,501
LET ME MAKE YOU FEEL
AT HOME. INCOMING SCUD!
227
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,805
NOW THAT'S COMEDY.
228
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,843
WHO ASKED YOU? AW!
229
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:01,513
I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR AT THIS TIME TO
ADDRESS THE IRAQI DELEGATE HERE TODAY.
230
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,414
PUT YOUR VEIL BACK ON, MA'AM.
231
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,362
AW! YOU'RE SCARING THE POLISH
GUY. LOOK AT THE POLISH GUY.
232
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,587
HE'S PUTTIN' ON HEADPHONES. HE
THINKS WE'RE GONNA SHOW A MOVIE.
233
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,634
FIRE ON THE WING!
WE'RE GOIN' DOWN!
234
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:15,594
EXCUSE ME. I AM CZECHOSLOVAKIAN.
235
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,907
OH, BIG DIFFERENCE. HITLER
TOOK THEM BOTH IN 20 MINUTES.
236
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,909
OF COURSE, HE HAD AN
ARMY. WHAT DID YOU HAVE?
237
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,700
GIRL SCOUTS SELLING COOKIES
AT THE BORDER. ANYWAY...
238
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,015
IT'S GOOD TO SEE THE
GERMANS REUNITED AGAIN...
239
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:30,007
- SIEGFRIED AND ROY.
- THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
240
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,956
THIS MAN IS GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING
WE HAVE ACCOMPLISHED HERE.
241
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,446
I'M SORRY. I REALLY DIDN'T
KNOW HE WOULD BE LIKE THIS.
242
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:38,415
GIVE HIM A COUPLE MORE
MINUTES. I'M SURE HE'LL CALM DOWN.
243
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,418
OH! OH! OH!
244
00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:43,388
OH! THE GREEK HAS
GOTTEN RESTLESS.
245
00:13:43,457 --> 00:13:46,458
LET ME SAY SOMETHING TO THE
GREEKS. STAY IN FRONT OF ME, OKAY, PAL?
246
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,761
ANYWAY... SERIOUSLY,
YOU'RE A BIG DUMMY.
247
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,763
AW! WHY CAN'T YOU BE
MORE LIKE THE IRISH GUY?
248
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,131
I LOVE THE IRISH...
ALWAYS QUIET AND HAPPY.
249
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,178
WATCH ME WIPE THE
SMILE OFF HIS FACE.
250
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:59,237
LAST CALL! ANYWAY...
251
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:02,040
WHERE'S THE
ITALIAN? WHERE IS HE?
252
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,509
OH. BLESS YOU, SIR.
253
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,655
THE ITALIANS ARE VERY MUCH
A PART OF THE FOUNDATION...
254
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,658
OF THIS GREAT
COUNTRY WE LIVE IN.
255
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,798
UNFORTUNATELY, THERE
ARE ALSO A COUPLE OF
256
00:14:10,822 --> 00:14:13,118
THEM IN THE FOUNDATION
OF THIS BUILDING. AW!
257
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:17,488
- THIS MAN IS SCUM.
- OH! OH, GREAT!
258
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,425
I'M BEING HECKLED BY A BLACK GUY
FROM ZANABA... ZANAMA... WHATEVER.
259
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,529
AW! DIDN'T I SEE YOU
ON TRILOGY OF TERROR?
260
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,131
ANYWAY...
261
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,033
WHAT IS YOUR NAME, SIR?
262
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,036
MY NAME IS MOTUMBO.
263
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,604
MOTUMBO. ENGLISH
TRANSLATION... LEROY.
264
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,606
AW!
265
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,209
IS HE COMING TOWARDS ME?
SOMEBODY GET THE ELEPHANT GUN.
266
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,211
AW! LOOK! TRACKS.
267
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,548
MOTUMBO, WHITE
WOMEN... THAT WAY. AW!
268
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:47,418
SERIOUSLY, MY FRIEND, WE'RE
ALL THE SAME ON THIS EARTH.
269
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:50,588
AND FROM THE BOTTOM
OF MY HEART... OONGAWA!
270
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:53,925
- AW!
- THIS MAN DESERVES
TO BE TORTURED!
271
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,394
LET'S RIG HIS CAR
WITH DYNAMITE. YES.
272
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:58,396
I CAN GET IT FOR YOU WHOLESALE.
273
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,699
I SAY SHRINK HIS
HEAD. SHRINK HIS HEAD.
274
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:05,002
WAIT! RAIN MAN ISN'T OVER YET.
275
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,872
WHY DON'T YOU GO
UP TO THE ICE RINK?
276
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,141
YOU'RE A BUNCH OF HOCKEY PUCKS.
277
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,143
♪ I'M A NICE GUY ♪
278
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,212
♪ I'M A NICE GUY ♪♪
279
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:20,485
♪♪
280
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,968
OH, THIS IS GREAT... A THEATER
THAT STILL SHOWS THE GOLDEN CHILD.
281
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,393
I SHOULD BUY MORE MOVIE HOUSES.
282
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,439
THEN THEY COULD SHOW
HARLEM NIGHTS TOO.
283
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,799
RIGHT, FRUITY?
YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT.
284
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,739
I KNOW THE MOVIE'S FUNNY,
BUT THIS GUY IS LAUGHING...
285
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,852
THIS GUY'S LAUGHIN' SO HARD,
I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF LAUGH.
286
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:47,779
HEY, MAN, YOU
WANNA KEEP IT DOWN?
287
00:15:47,848 --> 00:15:49,814
HEY, MAN. THAT'S IT...
288
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:55,587
YO, MAN. WHAT'S... HEY, MAN.
289
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,133
YO, MAN, WHAT'S UP? WHY
YOU LAUGHIN' LIKE A JACKASS?
290
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:01,326
EDDIE! IF THE
SHOE FITS, WEAR IT.
291
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,328
OH, MY MAIN MAN, EDDIE.
292
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:06,397
SIT YOUR LEATHER-CLAD,
WANNA-BE-A-ROCK-STAR,
293
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,066
HUNK OF BURNIN' BUTT
ON DOWN NEXT TO ME.
294
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,101
IT'LL BE JUST LIKE
OLD TIMES, EDDIE.
295
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,182
HEY, LOOK, WHAT... WHAT
ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
296
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:17,875
OH. I'M SURPRISED YOU
DON'T REMEMBER ME, EDDIE.
297
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:22,013
IT WAS FOUR LONG YEARS AGO THAT
YOU SENTENCED ME TO MY OWN SHOW...
298
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,883
WHEN YOU KNEW I WANTED
TO BE A MOVIE STAR, EDDIE.
299
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:27,251
DID YOU SEE AMAZON
WOMEN ON THE MOON?
300
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,588
LET ME REFRESH YOUR MEMORY.
301
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,057
I SHOULD'VE WON AN
OSCAR FOR THAT ONE, EDDIE.
302
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:36,861
NOW BYRON ALLEN IS DOIN'
FUNNIER SKETCHES THAN ME.
303
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:41,399
KADEEM HARDISON'S OUT OF TOWN, AND I
GOT THE NIELSENS BREATHIN' DOWN MY "BACK."
304
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:44,428
SO I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
GIVE ME SOME OF THAT "BE MY BEST FRIEND,
305
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:47,171
WANNA HANG OUT WITH ME
ALL NIGHT" MURPHY MAGIC.
306
00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:49,273
BACK TO THE SHOW!
307
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,520
LOOK, I WANTED TO DO MORE CAMEOS,
BUT YOU WAS ALWAYS AROUND ME.
308
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:55,613
I NEEDED SOME BREATHING ROOM. I'M SORRY
FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU A LONG TIME AGO,
309
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,982
BUT THAT WAS A LONG
TIME AGO, ALL RIGHT?
310
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,229
I'M SORRY. ALL RIGHT?
311
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:03,487
OH, YOU DON'T KNOW
"LONG TIME," EDDIE.
312
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,756
YOU HAVE NO
CONCEPT OF TIME AT ALL.
313
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:08,526
YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO
INTERVIEW ED ASNER.
314
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:11,863
AND PAIN? HAVE YOU EVER
TRIED KISSIN' DIANA ROSS?
315
00:17:11,932 --> 00:17:14,577
THE HAIR MOVES WHILE YOU'RE
REACHIN' FOR THE LIPS, EDDIE.
316
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:18,002
BESIDES THAT, I SEEN AN OLD PICTURE
OF PAULA ABDUL BEFORE THE NOSE JOB.
317
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,004
NOW THAT'S PAIN.
318
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:23,233
OH, LOOK, MAN. YOU BUGGIN',
MAN. I'M OUTTA HERE. I'M OUT.
319
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:29,580
VENGEANCE IS MINE!
TELL ME, MY PEOPLE.
320
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,516
EDDIE.
321
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,820
EDDIE, LET ME MAKE
MYSELF VERY CLEAR.
322
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:38,422
I GET INTO 20 MILLION
HOMES A NIGHT.
323
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,424
I CAN GET INTO YOURS.
324
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:45,096
I WANT YOUR CAREER,
EDDIE. YOUR CAREER.
325
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:48,432
EXCEPT FOR THEM LAST
THREE MUSIC VIDEOS YOU DONE.
326
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:52,070
♪ I JUST WANNA
PARTY ALL THE TIME ♪
327
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:55,173
♪ PARTY ALL THE TIME ♪♪
328
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,185
THAT OUGHTA DO IT.
329
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,188
NOW, LET'S SEE IF
HE'S STILL OUTSIDE.
330
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:18,162
EDDIE, YOU BEEN A BAD BOY.
331
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,563
NOW, MY PEOPLE TELL ME
YOU HAVE A RESTRAINING
332
00:18:20,587 --> 00:18:23,101
ORDER AGAINST ME, AND
THAT IT'S LEGALLY BINDING.
333
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:27,171
BUT DON'T FEEL BAD, EDDIE.
I COULD BE ART BUCHWALD.
334
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:31,409
YES. WE'RE GONNA
PARTY ALL THE TIME.
335
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,411
PARTY ALL THE TIME.
336
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:38,016
THAT'S IT. I'M
CALLIN' THE POLICE.
337
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,790
HELLO. THIS IS EDDIE MURPHY.
I'D LIKE TO REPORT A CRIME.
338
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:49,527
HUH? OKAY. JUST ONCE.
339
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,199
WHAT? ALL RIGHT.
340
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,645
I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOME OF THE THINGS...
341
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,603
THAT YOU'VE BEEN
SAYIN' ON THE SHOW.
342
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,972
NOW CAN I GET SOME SERVICE?
343
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,040
OKAY. I'D LIKE TO REPORT
THAT SOMEBODY IS...
344
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:07,011
HE'S... THAT'S FUNNY. HE'S GONE.
345
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,247
NEVER MIND.
346
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,891
BOY, I'M THIRSTY. CONSUELA, CAN
I GET SOME EVIAN OR SOMETHIN'?
347
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:20,458
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO,
MAN. LET'S DO THIS.
348
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:24,161
OH, EDDIE, DON'T YOU HATE
WHEN YOUR MOUTH GET ALL DRY...
349
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:28,132
AND YOU GET THAT WHITE STUFF ALL UP IN
HERE AND THAT CRUST RUNNIN' ON THE SIDE?
350
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,200
PEOPLE BE LOOKIN'
AT YOU, GOIN', "DAMN.
351
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:32,603
IS THAT EDDIE MURPHY
OR CICELY TYSON?"
352
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:37,442
HERE'S YOUR WATER.
EDDIE, DON'T BE FRIGHTENED.
353
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,246
I'M JUST HERE TO DO WHATEVER IT
TAKES TO HAVE YOU COME AND DO ONE...
354
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,348
JUST ONE GUEST SPOT ON THE SHOW.
355
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,950
I'LL CLEAN THE HOUSE.
I'LL SHINE YOUR TABLE.
356
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:49,520
HEY, LET ME UPDATE YOUR SUIT...
TAKE THE BELLS OUT FOR YOU.
357
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,923
LOOK, THAT'S IT. I'M
CALLIN' JOE PISCOPO,
358
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,859
AND HE'S GONNA COME UP
HERE, HE'S GONNA BUST YOUR ASS.
359
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:58,229
WELL, YOU KNOW, JOE...
JOE COULD USE THE WORK.
360
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:03,001
YES. THE STEROIDS DEFINITELY
AFFECTED HIS CAREER. OH.
361
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,170
YO. WHAT SEEMS TO
BE THE PROBLEM NOW?
362
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,539
I DON'T KNOW, MY MAN.
SHE SEEMS TO BE STUCK.
363
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,541
LOOK, JUST GUN IT, ALL RIGHT?
364
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:17,815
YOU CAN RUN, BUT
YOU CAN'T HIDE, EDDIE.
365
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,817
YOU CAN'T HIDE.
366
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,819
♪ WE'RE JUST GONNA ♪
367
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:26,557
♪ PARTY ALL THE TIME
PARTY ALL THE TIME ♪♪
368
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:29,526
CAPE FEAR II.
369
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:33,264
OUR PEOPLE TELL US IT'S COMING
SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.
370
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:38,435
YEA!
371
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,437
♪ BOP DOO BOP-BOP-DEE-BOO ♪
372
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,651
♪ SCOOP DOO
DOOP-DOOP-DOOBETY-DOO ♪
373
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:45,410
♪ DOOP DOO
SCOOP-DOOP-DEE-DOO... ♪♪
374
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:48,290
ONCE AGAIN, WE'D LIKE TO THANK
Y'ALL FOR... THANKS FOR JOININ' US...
375
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:53,283
JOIN US NEXT WEEK! THANK YOU!
376
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:56,386
♪♪ HI, MOM!
28855
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