All language subtitles for Drop Dead Diva (2009) - S04E11 - Family Matters (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Celdra)_track3_[eng]

See that aspiring model there?

That was me, Deb...

until the day I died.

I thought I'’d
go straight to heaven,

but there was a bit
of a mix-up,

and I woke up
in someone else'’s body.

So now I'’m Jane,

a super-busy lawyer

with my very own assistant.

I got a new life,
a new wardrobe,

and the only people who know
what'’s going on with me

are my girlfriend Stacy

and my guardian angel,
Luke.

I used to think everything
happened for a reason.

And, well, I sure hope
I was right.

♪ La, la, la
La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la

Fifteen-year-old
Jenny Evans

went out for
an innocent night of fun

and is now lying in this
hospital on life support.

On behalf of Jenny'’s mother,

we are filing
a gross negligence suit

against rave promoter
Dennis Fullman.

Mr. Fullman created
an environment

that allowed
dangerous drugs to
be peddled to minors.

Councilman Phillips.

The city council
intends to make sure

this tragedy
is never repeated.

We pray for
Jenny'’s recovery.

People are gonna say that
I'’m exploiting my daughter,

suing the promoter
for money.

No, this lawsuit
is how we make sure

this never happens
to anyone else'’s child.

Beth, we'’ve known
each other a long time.

Trust me.
You'’re doing the right thing.

I'’ve seen my son
at least once a week
since he was born.

He'’s 3 now.
I can'’t just walk away.

Unless I'’ve missed something,
you shouldn'’t have to.

You know I'’m the
sperm donor, right?

I didn'’t have sex
with his mother.

Yes, we do. And under the law,
the method of insemination

dictates the rights
of the donor.

Turkey baster.

What'’s that?

The method of insemination
was a plastic turkey baster.

I ejaculated into a cup...

I think we get it.

And it'’s actually
good news,

because without the involvement
of a doctor or sperm bank,

legally,
you'’re the father.

Carrie'’s fiancé doesn'’t agree.

He'’s a lawyer. And a jerk.

He wants to
legally adopt Charlie.

Which is why
they'’re asking you

to relinquish
your parental rights.

Dan, you know
no one can force you

to terminate
your parental status.

Right. You'’ve got
all the leverage here.
We'’ll figure this out.

Hey.
How are you holding up?

The last time
I was in this lobby,

Jenny was born.

And now...

Beth... Beth,
she sacrificed everything,

everything
for her little girl.

And Jenny is
the last person

that you would expect
to OD at a rave.

I mean, it'’s just...
It'’s not her.

Teenagers are reckless.

And when I think about
the things I did...

Well, yeah, it'’s a wonder
any of us survived.

Thank you
for taking the case.

Of course.
She'’s your friend.

Oh, so I had Teri
collect medical records.

Apparently 23
attendees were admitted
to the hospital.

I mean,
that'’s a high number,
even for a rave.

Well, that could bolster
the negligence claim.

That'’s what I was thinking.

All right.Excuse me?

You'’re the lawyer
from TV, right.

Hi. I'’m Jane Bingum,
and this is Owen French.

Hello.I'’m Jenny'’s friend Carla.

I was with her the night
of the rave when she collapsed.

I'’m so sorry.

Carla, I might need to ask
you some questions.

Would that be okay?Whatever you need. Um...

But is it okay
if I see Jenny?

Of course you can.
Uh, 409.

Okay. Thanks.Down to the left.

Hey, one sec. Sorry.Sure.

Hey, Stace.

The hair looked awesome.

What? Sorry.

I'’m licking
wedding-invitation envelopes.

Your hair looked
awesome on the TV.

Oh, my God. I wasn'’t even
thinking about my hair.

We'’re always
thinking about our hair.

So listen, I still need
one address, Owen'’s father.

Right. Um, I will
get it for you.

Mm-hm.
I'’ve heard that before.

Bye, Stace.

So I hate to bother you
with this again.

I'’ll get you the address.

Stacy'’s
a loud phone-talker.

It'’s just we'’ve had this
conversation three times,

and it is your father.

I mean, do you
even know his address?

We should get you
back to the office.

Owen.Please.

Let'’s just focus
on the case, okay?

Okay.

This is
pretty straightforward.

Under the law,
Dan is the father.

We understand the law, but...

But we don'’t
want the child
to be confused.

We'’re getting married,
and it'’s in Charlie'’s
best interest

to have one male
authority figure.

Well,
our position is simple.

Without
guaranteed visitation,

Dan won'’t relinquish
his parental rights.

Well, our position
is also simple.

As you know,
parental rights carry
financial obligations.

From what I understand,
you haven'’t paid one cent.

Rick.No.

If they want
to play hardball,

we'’re gonna sue
for child support.

We actually
hadn'’t discussed any...

I'’ll pay
whatever I can if it
means I can see Charlie.

Stop. Charlie and Carrie
are moving in with me.

So if you
show up at my house,
I will call the cops.

Honey, let'’s go.

Our client has rights.

We'’ll fight
for visitation,
and we'’ll win.

We'’ll see you in court.

Hey!Hi, sweetie.

What are you doing home
in the middle of the day?

Well, I wore my
super-high Louboutins

to the press conference
to give me authority on TV,

and now my feet
are killing me.

Mm-hm.

So this is
the last invitation.

Mr. Thomas French.

You have his address, right?No.

Apparently Owen doesn'’t
want to talk about his
father right now.

Why?I have no idea.

I mean, what doesn'’t
Owen want me to know?

Oh. Maybe Thomas French
is a Russian spy.

Or in the mob.

Oh! Or a female impersonator
in witness protection.

That would be really
fun at the wedding.

And make a hilarious movie.

Stace.
What?

Seriously.

I don'’t like Owen
keeping secrets from me.

You know what? I'’ll have Teri
track down his dad'’s number,

I'’ll ask him
about the problem,
then I'’ll mediate.

And I'’m sure
Owen won'’t resent
you at all for that.

Hm.

Sweetie, let me talk to Owen.
I'’ll get it out of him.

I am an excellent prier.

The trick is to
pretend their problem
is your problem.

You know what?
Great. Fine.

Pry away.

Thank you.

Oh.

It'’s an envelope addressed
to a Ms. Jane Bingum
and Mr. Owen French.

It'’s your
first wedding present!

Maybe it'’s a gift card
to Bloomingdale'’s.
New handbags.

Ooh! Let'’s go shopping.

"Drop the case or else."

Hmm?What?

Oh, my God.

Stacy, that'’s...
That'’s Owen.

This is a death threat
against Owen.

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Whatever you do,
don'’t tell Owen
about the death threat.

Yeah.

Bye-bye.

That was
the presiding judge.

Sheriffs are assigning Owen
a full-time security detail.

Good. But why
don'’t you want Owen to
know what'’s going on?

Because he'’s got
a heart condition,

and this is
the last thing he needs.

I'’m confused.
Why don'’t they just
arrest the rave promoter?

I wish, but we can'’t prove
the threat'’s from him.

Well, then, you need
to drop the case.

Beth will find
another lawyer.

No. I can'’t. I can'’t.

Owen wouldn'’t
want me to do that.Ah.

You don'’t want Owen
to know about the threat

because it would
stress him out,

and you can'’t drop the case
because Owen would know
about the threat.

Exactly.

So I just have to pretend
that everything is fine,

even though
I'’m scared to death.

Carrie and I met
at the local dog park

and became quick friends.

And 10 years later,
she asked you to
father her child?

That'’s right.

So how exactly
did the insemination
process play out?

Carrie called me
and said she was ovulating.

I raced over,

went into the bathroom,
took care of things,

then Carrie went
into her bedroom
and inseminated herself.

And from there...

We'’re sorry to interrupt.

We'’re in session.FDA Enforcement.

We have a warrant for
the arrest of Dan Abraham.

Mr. Abraham, please stand up.On what charges?

Illegal tissue trafficking.

What?What tissue?

Human sperm.

Mr. Abraham
has donated his sperm

to over a dozen women
and fathered five children.

Your Honor, we didn'’t know
about the other donations,
but it shouldn'’t matter.

You can'’t arrest someone
for donating sperm.

Judge,
a little help here?

Nothing I can do.

A federal warrant
supersedes my authority.

Let'’s go.

Dan,
we'’ll met you in holding.

Don'’t say anything
to anyone, okay?

Donating sperm
is not a crime.

It is if the
FDA believes

you'’re operating
an illegal sperm bank,

which I guess they do.

And you called them, didn'’t you?

I'’m a concerned citizen.

You'’re trying to give
Dan a criminal record

to prove he'’s unfit.And strip him of his visitation.

That'’s right.

Come on, Carrie.
Let'’s go.

Stacy.

Do you have a minute?

Of course.
Please. Come in.

A lot of security.

Must be a big
celebrity divorce.

Please, sit down.
What can I do for you?

Well, uh, I'’m a little
worried about Jane.

What'’s wrong?

I think the stress
of the wedding

might be getting to her,
and it'’s kind of my fault.

I'’m her maid of honor,
and I have just been so busy

dealing with my own drama
about my father.

Oh. I'’m, uh...
I'’m sorry to hear that.

Is there anything
I can do to help?

Well, my father and I
have been fighting about...

all sorts
of various things,

and it just
drives me crazy.

And do you get crazy when
you fight with your parents?

Your dad, specifically?

Nope.

Really? Okay.

Maybe you could
advise me on how
to deal with my father.

I actually haven'’t
spoken to my father
in a year and a half.

Really? No way.
Why not?

You know, it--
It could help me.

And, therefore, Jane.

My dad is a corn farmer.

One night,
he had a vision.

He woke up in a cold sweat
like a man possessed,

and he went outside
and he plowed under
the family farm.

Built a baseball field.

Wow. Crazy pants.

Exactly.

And he kept
muttering to himself,

"If you build it,
he will come."

Who will come?

Shoeless Joe Jackson.

Isn'’t he the bartender
at Taco Surf?

Not so much. Stacy...

we lost everything.

Everything.

I'’ve never been able
to forgive him.

That is so sad.

Well, if it'’s okay,
do you mind if I'’m alone?

I-- It'’s just--

It'’s hard reliving
that story and I...

I understand.

Thank you.

Bye.

Hey, boss. Your hoity-toity
wedding caterer just called.

Robert Bardem?Yeah.

He said he can
fit you and Owen in

for a menu tasting
in half an hour.

No, no, no, no.
That'’s impossible.

I'’ve got a settlement
conference. Reschedule.

That'’s impossible.

Robert'’s assistant
told me not even J Lo

canceled her tasting for her
first or third weddings.

You'’ve canceled twice.
You don'’t show up,

you may as well kiss
your dream caterer goodbye.

Okay. Here'’s what
we'’re gonna do.

You are Jane Bingum.What?

Go to the tasting as me.What about Owen?

Oh! You'’re Owen.
You are Jane.

The two of you
are getting married.
Go meet your caterer.

Okay.

Just say "yum"
and "delicious" a lot.

Actually, shorten it
to "delish."

Get our wedding
on the books.

And put on a tie.
You'’re a judge.

For our wedding,
I won'’t be wearing white.

I did nothing wrong.

Your daughter OD'’d.
Not my fault.

What my client means to say

is that while he'’s sorry
about Ms. Evans'’ daughter,

he'’s in no way responsible.

I think the jury'’s
gonna see this differently.

You market these
parties to minors

and then turn
a blind eye to drug use.

Not to mention
the inadequate
access for EMTs.

Miss Bingum,

are you sure
you really want to
pursue this case?

Excuse me?

A simple question.

Are you sure?

I'’m sorry, Beth.
I'’m not feeling well.

We'’ll pick this up later.

Jane.

Oh, my God.

Do not sneak up
on me like that!

Technically, you snuck up
on me, but whatever.

Okay.

So, I know why Owen
doesn'’t speak to his father.

Stacy, I am in the middle
of a horrendous case
with a death threat.

Why doesn'’t Owen speak
to his father?

Okay.

His dad used to be
a corn farmer who went crazy

and built this baseball field
for a guy who never showed.

Stace, that'’s the plot
of a Field of Dreams,

but with
a much sadder ending.

Ugh. I thought
it sounded familiar.

Thanks for trying.Mm.

So how is the case going?I can'’t focus,

'’cause I keep
thinking my fiancé
is gonna be killed.

You know,
and I feel awful for Beth,

but I am just not
an effective advocate.

I don'’t know what to do.

Welcome to Bardem Catering.
I am Robert.

And I'’m Jane Bingum.

I'’m Owen...

French.French.

Owen French.

Just like the language
or the toast.

I create a menu

that has meaning
to the couple,

so I need
to get to know you.

Tell me how you met.

In court.In a bar.

He was so drunk that he thought
he was still at court.

He kept
overruling everything.

"Whiskey sour,
overruled."

Tell me about the proposal.

Oh, you mean
the double-barrel
shotgun she was holding?

What? I'’m kidding. Come on.
Brides. Am I right?

Up high, bro.

Hit it!

No? Okay. All right.

How about we jump right in?
Our flagship appetizer,

tuna tartare
with truffle oil drizzle.

Mm, delicious.Mr. French?

Sorry, I'’m not
a raw-fish kind of guy.

On the form,
Miss Bingum told me

your first date
was over sushi.

Oh, this is sushi.
I did...

Oh! Mmm!

Delish.

I'’ll be back
with another option.

If I wanted to
eat raw seafood,

I would go to the ocean
and open my mouth.

We are doing
this for Jane.

You better start pretending

that you love this food
and you love me,

and stop checking out
the hot sous chef.

Jealous?You are such a cliché.

"Oh, I'’m a hot sous chef.
Watch me pound this cutlet."

Robert,
you'’re back. Hey.

Miss Bingum,
I love catering weddings,

but only when
there'’s true love.

We are desperately in love.
Give us another chance.

Look, we'’re gonna make out now.Get out!

Thank you.

All right,
we paid your bail.

You'’ll be released
in a few hours.

Thank you.

The FDA says you could be
looking at a year in jail,

as well as
a $100,000 fine.

Because I donated sperm?

They'’re classifying
your actions

as trafficking in human tissue.
They could go after you

the same way they would go after
someone who sold a kidney.

I can'’t believe this.
I was trying to be
a good guy.

Well, you weren'’t
entirely up front with us.

Five kids?
Different mothers?

Well, I didn'’t think
it was relevant.

I mean, initially,
it was just
a favor for Carrie.

Then after Charlie was born,
one of her friends
saw her beautiful baby

and asked
if I'’d help her out too.

But before you know it,
you'’re Johnny apple-sperm?

I guess.

Are you in touch with
any of the other children?

No. I made that
clear up front.

Just like I made it clear

that I would have
a relationship with Charlie.

Carrie'’s the only mother
who was also a friend.

The FDA claims
you'’re exposing the moms
and kids to health risks.

A sperm bank
does a lot of testing.

And so do I.

Before every donation, I screen
for infectious diseases,

and I'’ve been
genetically tested
for carrier traits.

I do everything
a sperm bank does,

except I don'’t charge
the women a penny.

I'’d rather they
spend their money
raising their child

than trying
to conceive one.

What'’s wrong with that?

In my book,
absolutely nothing.

The judge will interpret
the law against you.

The FDA policy is clear.

So we find a way
to go around the judge.

Hey.Hey.

How'’d the, uh,
how'’d the settlement go?

Oh, it got tabled.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'’m not
a paranoid person,

but I swear to God
I'’m being followed.

This morning
when I parked my car,

there were these
two guys behind me,

then when I was at
the coffee cart an hour later,

same two guys in line.Probably just a coincidence.

Then I'’m on the men'’s room,
at the urinal.

Guess who'’s peeing next to me.Sweetie, everyone'’s got to pee.

Jane, seriously.
Something is going on.

Okay.

They'’re judicial
security detail.

What?

I got a note.

Threatening your life
if I didn'’t drop Beth'’s case.

I think it'’s from
the rave promoter.
I just can'’t prove it.

Why didn'’t you tell me?

Because I didn'’t
want to upset you.
Your heart...

Well, look how
that worked out.

I can'’t believe
the jackass tried

to get to you
by going after me.

You know what?
I'’m excusing myself
from this case.

No, you'’re not.See?

I didn'’t want to tell you.I didn'’t become a judge

to back down from a threat.

Now, look, just call off
the security detail.

What if something
happens to you?

I can'’t handle that.

I am not gonna
allow anyone,

anyone to intimidate me
or the woman that I love.

The city has taken a keen
interest in the civil case

against rave promoter
Dennis Fullman.

Now, as I'’ve said before,

nothing'’s more important than
the safety of our children.

Excuse me.

Miss Bingum.JANE: Councilman.

Miss Evans, how'’s Jenny?

No change.

I'’m sorry.

The whole city'’s behind you.
Do you feel good about the case?

We do. We do.

And I'’d like to
thank you and the city
for all your support.

Sure.

There were mobs of people.

It was hot,
and the music was loud.

Jenny and I
got in line to buy water,

and the line
was hardly moving.

And then Jenny started
sweating and shaking.

And then she collapsed.

I know this is really
hard for you, Carla.

Can you tell us
what happened next?

I started
screaming for help,

but between all the
music and the people...

How long before
the paramedics showed up?

It seemed like,
I don'’t know, a half-hour.

They couldn'’t get to us
with all the people.

Thank you.

Miss Middlen,
did you know

that Jenny had an ecstasy
tablet in her pocket

when she was brought
to the hospital?

Remember,
you'’re under oath.

Yes.

This is a photo
of the tab of ecstasy

that was removed
from Jenny'’s pocket.

Do you see
the embossed stamp
on the tablet?

Yes.
It looks like a sneaker.

Your Honor, we'’d like
to submit the crime-lab
ecstasy database.

Some dealers
brand their pills.

The, uh, green sneaker
can be traced back
to a Deezy Jones.

Miss Middlen,
do you recognize
this Facebook page?

Yes, it'’s mine.

And one of your friends
is Deezy Jones?

Yes.

On June 23rd,
the day before the rave,

you and Deezy
sent messages to
each other planning to,

I quote, "See Molly."

Isn'’t "Molly"
slang for ecstasy?

Yes.

So you were arranging
to buy drugs.

Yes.

Just for yourself?

No.

For me and Jenny.
I am so sorry, Mrs. Evans.

I'’m so sorry.You bought ecstasy tablets.

When did Jenny
take the first one?

Before the rave,
at my house.

Your Honor,
considering the testimony
we just heard,

the defense wishes
to implead Carla Middlen
as a co-defendant.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait. Excuse me?

Miss Middlen
procured the drugs,

she bears responsibility
for her friend.

Counsel,
in my chambers now.

Your Honor, he wants
to implead a teenager.

We have grounds.

He knows we do not
want to sue Carla.

If you agree to implead her,
we won'’t have a choice.

Drop the suit.
We won'’t complain.

Mr. Cummings?Carla bought drugs

and gave them to Jenny
prior to the rave.

She collapsed
at your client'’s event.

The EMTs
couldn'’t get to her.Enough.

Mr. Cummings has raised
sufficient evidence
of shared culpability.

I'’m granting
his request to add
Carla as a defendant.

Commissioner Seaton,
the law banning
tissue trafficking

is meant to apply
to organs like lungs
and kidneys, not sperm.

The FDA regulates
all human tissues.

Technically,
that includes semen.

That'’s crazy.Yes, it is.

It'’s ridiculous the FDA would
spend their time and money

prosecuting our client.

We understand your pressure.

There are budget shortages,

and you'’re responsible
for our health and welfare.

We just believe
your resources could
better be used elsewhere.

Good cop, bad cop.

Nice try, but we'’re
pursuing this case.

Okay, well, then,
this bad cop is
bringing out her big gun.

Are you aware
that there are
dozens of websites

that connect
wannabe moms with
willing sperm donors?

I had no idea.Well, now that you do,

we expect you
to shut them all down

and prosecute
everyone on these sites,
men and women,

or we'’ll sue the FDA
for selective prosecution.

And if I drop the case
against your client?

Well, then,
I never presented you
with this document.

Mr. Abraham,
you'’re free to go,
and the charges are dropped.

Thank you.
Enjoy your lunch.

You guys were amazing.Thank you.

I think he was
talking to me.

Seriously. You should take
that act on the road.

Excuse me.
Are you Dan Abraham.Yes. Why?

You'’re under arrest.What?

There'’s a mistake.
The FDA dropped all the charges

related to tissue trafficking.

I'’m not with the FDA.
I'’m with the LAPD.

What are the charges?Your client is a gay man.

We'’ve been tipped off
he'’s donated sperm.

You didn'’t tell us you'’re gay.It didn'’t come up.

When is it illegal
for a gay man to donate sperm?Since 2005.

We'’re gonna figure
this out.

For the love of God,

I'’ve represented murderers

who have had an easier time
staying out of jail.

I have been looking
everywhere for you.

What are you
doing out here?

Hiding from Jane.
What are you gonna tell her?

We are in this together.
We have to
coordinate our lies.

The best lies are simple.

How about,
"Robert is a no-go.
His food sucks."

Too many
unanswered questions.

I say we tell her Robert'’s
fingernails were dirty

and a cockroach crawled out
the spicy hummus tower.

Jane'’s not
gonna fall for that.

She knows Courtney Cox
has cleanliness issues

and would have
never hired Robert
for her divorce party.

We are just
gonna have to man up.

Right. We tell Jane the truth.Hell, no.

We got to go beg Robert Bardem
for a second chance.

You wanted to see me?

Please tell me it'’s not true.It'’s not true.

So your gay sperm donor
is not back in jail?

No. That'’s true.

What is going on
with this case?

Bigotry, for starters.

Did you know it'’s illegal
for a man to donate sperm

if he'’s had sex with another man
in the past five years?

There are legitimate
governmental interests

in seeing that
the sperm pool
stays healthy.

The window for
HIV testing is a month.

Dan gets tested regularly.

It'’s homophobia,
plain and simple.

Look,
African-American men

have a higher incidence
of sickle-cell anemia,

Jewish men are more likely
to carry Tay-Sachs,

yet they
can donate sperm,
no questions asked.

Wow, someone'’s been
mainlining Rachel Maddow.

Am I wrong,
or is she kind of hot?

It'’s the glasses, right?

Okay. I get it.

This topic
makes you uncomfortable...

'’cause you'’re a sperm donor.

What?Yeah.

You knocked up
Elisa, remember?

Lucky for you, you did it
the old-fashioned way

instead of
with a turkey baster.

You should
use that in court.

Does the government have
a right to throw you in jail

because of how
you chose to procreate?

I'’m just saying.

No. You'’re right.

Thanks.

We'’re between a rock
and a hard place.

If we continue with this case,
we have to go after Carla.

No, Beth won'’t like that.
Carla bought the drugs,
but Jenny is her best friend.

I can'’t believe this happened.Know what?

If we get a judgment
against both,

we could always forgive
Carla'’s portion.

The trial would put her
through hell

and even expose her
to criminal liability.Yeah.

Hey, Beth. We were just
coming to see you.

No.

Owen, uh...

She'’s... She'’s gone.

My...
My baby, she'’s...

She'’s gone.

Hey.

Hey.
How'’s Beth doing?

I got her home.

She'’s devastated.

Her sister'’s with her now.

I know she doesn'’t want
to think about this,

but what do we do
about this case?

Well, there'’s no question

if the promoter had provided
adequate EMT access

that Jenny would be alive now.I know.

But if Beth continues
with the case,

Carla'’s future'’s
gonna be destroyed.

She doesn'’t want that.CARLA: Don'’t worry about me.

I am so sorry I didn'’t tell you
the truth about the ecstasy.

I was scared.

You know what?
It'’s okay.

No, I don'’t want you guys
to drop the case,

not because of me.

If I hadn'’t bought
those pills, then--

We'’re not blaming you.
Jenny'’s mom doesn'’t blame you.

Please tell her
to keep fighting.

Jenny didn'’t have to die.
No one got to her in time.

There was no one
there to help her!

Officer Andrews, you arrested
my client, didn'’t you?

That'’s right.And why was that again?

LAPD was tipped off
that he violated the code
of federal regulations,

title 21, chapter 1,
subchapter "L," part 1271.

Men can'’t donate sperm
if they'’ve had

homosexual relations
in the past five years?

That'’s right.

I see you'’re wearing
a wedding ring.

Do you have children?Yeah, three.

And how exactly
were they conceived?

I mean, was it missionary
or doggy style,
maybe a little cowgirl?

Objection!What?

Don'’t skimp
on the details.

Were they planned or did you
forget condoms?Objection!

Sustained.It'’s none of your damn business.

You see,
that is exactly my point.

The details of how
your children were
brought into this world

are none of my business,
this court'’s business,

or the U.S. federal
government'’s business.

Miss Kaswell, that'’s enough.

Okay. Moving on.

The defense calls
Sandy Marshall,

Lydia Carter, Miriam Stein,
and Charlotte Phillips.

Counselor?Your Honor,

each of these women
conceived their children

with the help
of Mr. Abraham.

Objection.

And if the ADA wants
to prosecute my client,

he'’s going to need
the sworn testimony
of each of these women.

So here they are.

She'’s right.
Objection overruled.

And in order to
elicit such testimony,

the prosecutor
is going to have to invade

the most intimate aspects
of these women'’s lives

and ask the
exact same questions
that horrified this court

when I asked them
of the arresting officer.

It'’s not the same thing.

Oh, it'’s exactly
the same thing.

Each count
against my client

is an impermissible intrusion
into the act of procreation,

which was granted
protection in 1965

by Griswold v. Connecticut,
when the Supreme Court ruled

that the state may
not legislate how
a woman conceives a child.

And, uh, I don'’t know
about you, judge,

but if the
federal government wants
to get into my bed,

they sure as hell
better buy me dinner first.

Hey.

Hey.
Did you speak to Beth?

I did.
She wants to continue
with the suit.

Okay. Then that'’s
what we will do.

What have you got there?

I went by the hospital.

I got Jenny'’s preliminary
autopsy report. Get this.

There wasn'’t enough ecstasy
in her system to be fatal.

What?Yeah, she didn'’t OD.

She died from renal failure

and extremely low
sodium levels, which means...

She died of dehydration.

That'’s right.Okay, that is really strange,

because I'’ve been going
through ER records from
the night of the rave.

The 23 other ravers
admitted to the hospital,

they all have some
degree of dehydration.

I'’ve been to the Coliseum.
There'’s a water fountain
every 20 feet.

That doesn'’t make sense.And in Carla'’s testimony,

she said they were waiting
in line to buy water.

If they were thirsty, why didn'’t
they go to the fountain?

Something'’s not right.
I'’m gonna go to the Coliseum,

dig around a little bit.
I'’ll call you.

Okay. Owen?Yeah.

Be careful.Always.

Mr. Bardem.

We are so mortified
about our behavior.

Full disclosure,
we'’re not really engaged.

Imagine my surprise.

Was it the fighting?Hardly.

You two are as transparent
as my thinly sliced carpaccio.

She is not wearing a ring,

and you dress
too well to be straight.

Oh, good taste
in clothes transcends
sexual orientation.

You two are
obviously cater-whores,

using my valuable tasting time
to get some free snacks.

This is not Trader'’s Joe.

We are not cater-whores.
We are imposters.

The real Jane Bingum is in
the middle of a big case,

and she couldn'’t
make the tasting,

but she didn'’t want to cancel.

So now that
it'’s out in the open,

the wedding
is September 9th.

Not in a million years.

Mr. Bardem,

Jane was unavailable
to kiss your ring

because she'’s trying
to get justice

for a woman who lost
her teenage daughter.

Now, if you'’re
going to punish her

for trying to make
the world a better place

then you don'’t deserve
to cater her cocktail hour.

Let'’s go, sweetheart.

Jane, hey, good.
I'’m glad you'’re here.

I got your message.
What'’s going on?

I went by the Coliseum, talked
with the facilities manager.

The night of the rave,
all of the water fountains

were offline for maintenance.That doesn'’t make sense.

There were over
30,000 people at that event.

The only water
available was for sale,
10 bucks a bottle.

That'’s insane.Oh, I'’m just getting started.

ClearCalm Water owned the
exclusive water-vending contract
for the event.

Now, say people bought
just two bottles of water...

That is over half a million
dollars in sales for water.

These are ClearCalm'’s
corporate offices.

Okay. What exactly
are we doing here?

We are gonna use my charm
and your good looks

to find the connection
ClearCalm Water has
with the rave promoters.

Well, let'’s go.

Hello.

Can I help you?

Judge Owen French.
This is counselor Jane Bingum.

We'’re here to speak
with your sales director.

I'’m sorry.
He'’s at a conference.

Okay,
how about your CEO?

He'’s out, as well.

Big bottled-water
conference?

Please have him
give me a call

if he doesn'’t want
to receive a subpoena.

Thank you so much.

Is ClearCalm a supporter
of Councilman Phillips?

Yeah.You should know,

I'’m in the middle
of a big lawsuit,

and he is one of
my most vocal supporters.

Jane, I...Yeah, one second.

So tell your CEO
that he should get back
to me really soon

if he doesn'’t
want to receive
a call from the city.

Ma'’am,
I don'’t think our CEO

will be scared
of that phone call.

Why is that?Jane...

Just one second.

Let me be perfectly clear.Jane.

Yeah?Look.

ClearCalm is owned
by Councilman Phillips.

The councilman is in bed
with the rave promoters.

This is a waste
of time, Your Honor.
I have a busy schedule.

I really should
get back to work.

This won'’t take long.

Make your point quickly.

Absolutely.
Councilman Phillips,

are you aware that
on the night of the rave,

the night Jenny Evans
collapsed from dehydration,

that every single
water fountain
in the Coliseum

had been shut down
for maintenance?

While the Coliseum
is in my district,

I'’m not involved in
the day-to-day operations.

Oh, right.

That was silly question.

Okay.
Let me try this one.

Are you familiar
with the ClearCalm
Water company?

Oh, my God.
I did it again!

Of course you are.

You'’re the owner, right?

I am.

And are you aware
that your company

was the only vendor
licensed to sell
water at the rave

and you sold
over 52,000 bottles?

I haven'’t seen
the final figures.

At $10 a bottle,

that'’s over half a million
dollars in one night.

Councilman Phillips,

did you give orders to shut off
the water fountains

to force people
to buy your water,

and are you aware had those
water fountains been working,

Jenny Evans
would still be alive?

Without evidence, this court
will not allow you to throw

baseless accusations
at this witness,

who is not,
may I remind,

on trial here.

You'’re right, Your Honor.

I don'’t have sufficient
evidence to support that.

However,
I did get a subpoena

for Councilman Phillips'’
hard drive,

and I would like to
enter into evidence

this photo of judge Owen French
retrieved from a deleted file.

This same photo

was attached to
a death threat made
against judge French.

Councilman,
did you threaten
a sitting judge,

who is also the most
perfect fiancé on earth?

I, uh...

I invoke
my fifth amendment rights.

Councilman, let me be
the first to inform you

that you are
about to be charged

with an aggravated threat
against my fiancé

and the criminally negligent
homicide of Jenny Evans.

Complete victory.
All charges dismissed.

I can'’t thank
you guys enough.

You are welcome.

And based
on Kim'’s argument,

the judge is issuing
an order to the FDA

to review
the constitutionality
of the 2005 regulation.

Yep.Someone'’s looking to make
the cover of Newsweek.

Oh, well, now we
just have to negotiate
your visitation rights.

Carrie.

Dan.Hi.

I am so sorry.

I didn'’t know Rick
would have you arrested.
If I did, I swear--

Where'’s Rick now?

We'’re taking
some time apart.

I thought he had
Charlie'’s best interests.

I can'’t let a man
like that raise my boy.

I really thought
I loved him, but...

Can you forgive me?

Of course I can.

Hey, how about pizza and bowling
on Friday with Charlie?

I'’ll see you then.

Easiest negotiation ever.

We need to talk
about my caterer.

Oh, um, the, uh--
That was his fault.

Here'’s the contract,
signed, sealed, delivered.

It looks like our
tasting did the trick.

Oh, absolutely.

If your trick was getting into
a huge fight in the kitchen,

insulting his food,
and leering at
his colleague?

So how did you fix it?

A big, old,
non-refundable check.

I'’m so sorry.I forgive you.

But you and me,
we need to talk.

What? Why?
You forgave her.

I'’m just not that good
of an actor, okay?

Oh, my God.
I'’m over it.

There'’s something else
I want to talk about.

I'’m marrying Owen,
and he needs to know the truth

about who I am,
that I am Deb.

Whoa.
Where'’s this coming from?

Owen has a secret.
It'’s a teeny, tiny secret.

He'’s fighting with his father,
and I don'’t know why.

But it'’s driving me crazy
that he'’s keeping
something from me,

which makes me a phony
because my secret
is much bigger.

Jane...We are getting married.

Owen deserves
to know who I am.

Okay. I think
it'’s a great idea.

You do?Sure.

Every guy wants to
hear that the woman
he'’s about to marry

has the soul of
a 24-year-old model
inside of her.

But I actually have a soul
of a 24-year-old model!

Yes.Yes.

You do, and say it
just like that.

I mean, you sound
completely sane,
not crazy a bit.

Okay.

Jane...

Owen fell in love
with you.

Now, whether
you'’re Deb or Jane,
it doesn'’t matter to him.

He loves you.

And if you'’re feeling compelled
to tell him the truth...

I got to wonder,
are you doing this for him?

Hm? Or for you?

Hello, hello.

Hello.

A little vino
for my sweet?

Thank you.You'’re welcome.

I have something else
for you.Ah.

4825 Caddy Road,
Santa Barbara, California,

my dad'’s address.

Talked to him an hour ago.
He is coming to the wedding.

He would like the chicken,
and his new wife
would like the fish.

Well, great.

Are we gonna
discuss this, Owen?

Okay.

A year and a half ago,
my father told me
he was getting married,

and he asked me
to officiate.

That'’s sweet.

The thing is, it'’s his
third marriage, and they...

They'’d only known
each other a short while.

I said no.

I didn'’t think
he should marry her.

Ouch.

My dad was very upset,

told me to not bother
coming to the wedding.

And we haven'’t
spoken since.

I didn'’t want to discuss it,
'’cause I felt like a jerk.

But, hey, my dad'’s
coming to the wedding.Right.

And I thank you
and Field of DreamsStacy

for making me
deal with it.

Well, I can'’t
wait to meet him.

I'’m sorry
I didn'’t tell you sooner.

We'’re getting married.
We shouldn'’t have secrets.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know what?

I have something
to tell you.

Oh.

Okay. What?

Uh, there'’s something
you should know.

I...

love you.

That'’s not a secret.

No, I know.
I just had to say it.

All right.
You know what?

To no more secrets.

To no more secrets.