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[THE TRAMMPS' "DISCO INFERNO" PLAYS]
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♪♪
3
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,146
♪ Satisfaction ♪
4
00:00:14,322 --> 00:00:15,520
♪ Whoo, hoo, hoo ♪
5
00:00:15,545 --> 00:00:18,262
♪ Came in a chain reaction ♪
6
00:00:18,913 --> 00:00:19,993
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
7
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♪ I couldn't get enough ♪
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♪ Till I had to self-destruct ♪
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♪ Whoo, hoo, hoo ♪
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00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:29,284
♪ The heat was on ♪
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♪ Risin' to the top ♪
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♪ Everybody's goin' strong ♪
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♪ Whoo, hoo, hoo ♪
14
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♪ That is when my spark got hot ♪
15
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♪ I heard somebody say ♪
16
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
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♪ Disco inferno ♪
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
19
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♪ Burn that mother down, now ♪
20
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
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♪ Disco inferno ♪
22
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
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♪ Yeah, burn the mother down ♪
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♪ Burn it down ♪
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
26
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- ♪ Disco inferno ♪
- Mmm-blblblblbblb!
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
28
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♪ The mother down ♪
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
30
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♪ Aaaaaaah, ha! ♪
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♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
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♪ Burn that mother down ♪
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[LAUGHTER]
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Good job, guys.
35
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- Best day ever!
- Ahh.
36
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Whoa! Granny, how did I not
notice your humongo muff?
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[LAUGHS] Yeah.
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[FOREIGNER'S "HOT BLOODED" PLAYS]
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♪♪
40
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♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
41
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♪ Check it and see ♪
42
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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
44
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♪♪
45
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Oh, oh, oh, oh! Hey!
46
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Put down that spanakopita.
47
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,708
Friday's the big day.
I need you looking fit.
48
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,581
- What's Friday?
- "What's Friday?"
49
00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:53,088
Come on, Granny. You kidding me?
50
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,647
Friday is the photo shoot for
the Fireman Beefcake Calendar.
51
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,183
Like, hello? It's only the
biggest day of the year.
52
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,384
Hello!
53
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,266
I need you to get beefy, Granny, okay?
54
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:05,191
Station 48 sold 1,000 copies of
their calendar last month alone.
55
00:02:05,397 --> 00:02:06,725
You think I'm gonna let us get outsold
56
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,193
by these hideous gargoyles?
57
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:11,730
No. No. Look at this guy.
Joe Manganiello wannabe.
58
00:02:12,317 --> 00:02:13,932
When are we gonna
stop these competitions
59
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,725
with other fire stations, huh?
60
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,536
My butthole is still burning
61
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,204
from the ghost-pepper challenge video.
62
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,073
Oh, yeah. How many ghost
peppers did you put in your butt?
63
00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:23,765
- Like 12?
- And yet only 11 came out.
64
00:02:23,908 --> 00:02:25,744
- Strange, Granny.
- I don't know about you guys,
65
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,546
but I am ready for the big shoot.
66
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I haven't had a carb in three weeks.
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Good for you, but I got to tell ya,
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the key really is to
be as oily as possible.
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00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:34,794
Now, a little trade secret...
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in my other life, I'm a
professional male dancer.
71
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:37,663
Not sure if you know that.
72
00:02:37,687 --> 00:02:39,743
And looking bad is not an option.
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00:02:39,871 --> 00:02:43,272
That's why I trust generic
brand Canyon Breeze Baby Oil.
74
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BOTH: Canyon Breeze?
75
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Canyon Breeze...
America's number-one choice
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for high-performance stage oil.
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- ♪ Canyon Breeze ♪
- [DING!]
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No, no. You remember what happened
last year when we got too oily.
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Nice technique. Good.
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[ALARM BLARING]
81
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[FLOOR SQUEAKING]
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[GRUNTS] Aah!
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- [SQUISH]
- Ohh!
84
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♪♪
85
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Ahh...
86
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Last year was last year.
87
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,232
Last year, my mom didn't
even put up the calendar.
88
00:03:13,256 --> 00:03:15,057
She said it was borderline pornographic.
89
00:03:15,082 --> 00:03:16,972
Yeah, but your mom thinks
"Dancing with the Stars"
90
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,132
is borderline pornographic.
91
00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:19,464
Well, anything on ABC.
92
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:22,662
But look. This is the annual
beefcake calendar, okay?
93
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It's not about pleasing our families.
94
00:03:24,744 --> 00:03:27,612
It's about vanity, ego, competition,
95
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you know, and charity, I suppose.
96
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,268
- What charity?
- Primates for Pets.
97
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,589
They provide helper monkeys
for retired service animals.
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00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,492
ALL: Aww!
99
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,623
The world has changed.
100
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,486
Issues of workplace
sexuality are delicate.
101
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,021
All right, well, you
can't take the beefiness
102
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,399
out of the beefcake calendar.
103
00:03:44,502 --> 00:03:45,947
It's a point of pride for my guys.
104
00:03:45,972 --> 00:03:47,656
This is coming from up high, Terry.
105
00:03:47,681 --> 00:03:48,721
You know it's not me.
106
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,163
I'm the dirtiest gal
in all of City Hall.
107
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,231
Last year's Secret
Santa, I gave Polly Purdue
108
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,228
a mug that said "Men are like coffee.
109
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,945
The good ones keep
you up all night long."
110
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:01,019
[LAUGHING]
111
00:04:01,305 --> 00:04:02,639
Oh, my gosh!
112
00:04:02,777 --> 00:04:04,442
All right, but, honestly,
what does this mean?
113
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,779
- What are the parameters?
- Nothing hard and fast.
114
00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:08,765
[GASPS, SNORTS] You see?!
115
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,689
I'm like Sarah Silverman over
here with the raunchiness!
116
00:04:11,811 --> 00:04:13,580
- Funny.
- It's common sense, really.
117
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,854
- No more bare butt.
- Adorable.
118
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,457
No more using live animals
to cover private parts.
119
00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:20,258
[CHUCKLES] Sharp claws.
120
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,861
And no more using fire hoses to suggest
121
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the functions of the male genitalia.
122
00:04:25,512 --> 00:04:26,799
Oh, yeah. I didn't see that before.
123
00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:28,874
Huh. You're tying our hands here.
124
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Just think of it as a challenge.
125
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,471
Come up with a nice, wholesome calendar
126
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,991
that has some redeeming value.
127
00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:37,319
Redeeming values? I don't
even know what that means.
128
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,878
Okay, I'm not happy about it,
either, but maybe she's got a point.
129
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,546
- Nah. Come on, Chief.
- What point? What?
130
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,747
- What do you mean?
- No way!
131
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,683
Well, maybe we pushed this
thing into the territory
132
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,432
unbecoming of a professional operation.
133
00:04:46,457 --> 00:04:48,420
But you can't do that! I
mean, I was gonna do this bit
134
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,921
where I covered my unmentionables
in extinguisher foam.
135
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,454
It was gonna be so hot!
136
00:04:52,479 --> 00:04:53,492
You were gonna do this?
137
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,322
Why wouldn't I? I'm a firefighter.
138
00:04:55,386 --> 00:04:57,295
Well, you know, I-I just figured
it was a beefcake calendar,
139
00:04:57,319 --> 00:04:58,831
so it'd be limited to the beefs.
140
00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,034
That is sexist.
141
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:03,035
Chief, like it or not,
part of being a firefighter
142
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:06,707
is the inalienable right to
pose seductively for a calendar
143
00:05:06,732 --> 00:05:09,041
that people give to their
spinster aunt as a gag gift.
144
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:10,909
- Yeah!
- Goddamn right!
145
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,244
Goddamn right! Come on!
146
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:14,513
- Hallelujah!
- Okay. Great point.
147
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:17,893
In the meantime, I would
love for everyone to come up
148
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,118
with a wholesome concept
for this calendar shoot.
149
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,253
- Ugh.
- No!
150
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,188
- Why?!
- Carry on.
151
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,924
MOTHER: This is four Sundays
in a row you've missed church.
152
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:29,194
[SOFTLY] I know, Mom, but they
have me working on Sundays now.
153
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,463
[DEEP VOICE] Ha, ha, ha.
That girl is hot A.F., huh?
154
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,598
Pfft. Shoot! Huh!
155
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,733
Who are you talking to?
156
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,512
Who's hot A.F.? Are you dating a girl?
157
00:05:36,655 --> 00:05:39,071
How come you won't call any of
the nice girls I set you up with?
158
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,005
[SOFTLY] Mom, I... It was
just something on the TV, okay?
159
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,607
What are they making
you watch over there?
160
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:43,808
"Dancing with the Stars"?
161
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,679
Okay, Mom, uh, I got to
go. Okay? But I lov...
162
00:05:46,681 --> 00:05:51,149
[DEEP VOICE] Ha, ha, ha!
Yeah! No, you shut up!
163
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,417
Ah, totally!
164
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,618
[PHONE BEEPS]
165
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:56,088
My dudes are crazy!
166
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,289
How's your mom?
167
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,957
[GROANS] You know, sh...
168
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,360
She's just so disapproving
of everything, you know?
169
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,962
Well, maybe next year, we'll
do a Fun Run for charity.
170
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,365
Yeah, she thinks
jogging is erotic, so...
171
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,766
It's calendar time!
172
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,367
- Chiefy.
- Awesome!
173
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,035
All right. Who's kicking
off the brainstorm?
174
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,504
Okay, yeah, yeah. Let me start, okay?
175
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,708
Because this is a slam dunk, all right?
176
00:06:16,038 --> 00:06:20,256
Let's do the photo spread
covered in raw meat and pastry.
177
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,316
Nobody? Guys, come on.
178
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,018
Raw meat... beef. Pastry... cake.
179
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,925
Beefcake. [LAUGHS] Right? Perfect.
180
00:06:31,268 --> 00:06:33,250
We'll get local businesses
to donate the food,
181
00:06:33,275 --> 00:06:34,940
then we auction it off after we're done.
182
00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:36,432
- That's gross.
- No. Boo.
183
00:06:36,457 --> 00:06:38,053
- What?
- Auction used meat?
184
00:06:38,187 --> 00:06:40,754
- Whatever.
- All right, next. Come on. Let's go.
185
00:06:40,779 --> 00:06:43,913
Okay, so, we are looking
for unsexy, right?
186
00:06:43,938 --> 00:06:45,187
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
187
00:06:45,212 --> 00:06:49,380
What's more un-sexy than
puppet versions of ourselves?
188
00:06:49,405 --> 00:06:50,809
- What does that mean?
- Okay, you know what?
189
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,474
Maybe you'll be more
receptive to this idea
190
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,842
if it's presented by...
191
00:06:56,355 --> 00:06:58,483
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]... Fireman Bob!
192
00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,884
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, boy.
193
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,020
So, uh, you all making
a calendar of sorts?
194
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,065
Ha, ha. Is that it?
195
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,454
- Boo, boo.
- Boo!
196
00:07:04,479 --> 00:07:05,621
How does that even work?
197
00:07:05,646 --> 00:07:06,959
You dummies wouldn't know a good idea
198
00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,157
if it bit you on the behind!
199
00:07:08,642 --> 00:07:09,739
[GRUNTS]
200
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:12,697
Okay. Enough with your
puppet. Next! Come on, next.
201
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:16,101
What if we all pose
in respectful portraits
202
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,087
with our respective mothers?
203
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:21,817
And, uh, we're wearing costumes
that celebrate our heritage,
204
00:07:22,004 --> 00:07:24,042
so I'd do Hawaii, obviously.
205
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,244
- And you would do... white?
- Okay, no...
206
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,512
No, no, no, no, no.
207
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:28,981
- Boo!
- No. Boo, boo, boo.
208
00:07:28,983 --> 00:07:32,184
Okay, when's the last time
any of you saw firefighters
209
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,715
posing with gigantic
fruits and vegetables?
210
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,055
That's not hot, Cap.
That's just bizarre.
211
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,192
Mm. Believe me, Ike, nudity is passé.
212
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,010
Bizarre is the new nudity.
213
00:07:42,241 --> 00:07:43,503
That sounds like a perfume commercial.
214
00:07:43,527 --> 00:07:45,167
Yeah, it sounds like
a perfume commercial.
215
00:07:45,237 --> 00:07:46,704
Chief, I can tell you're intrigued.
216
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,126
Well, we're supposed to do something
217
00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:49,230
with redeeming value, right?
218
00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:50,920
Fruits, vegetables, food groups...
219
00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:52,270
something for the kids.
220
00:07:52,666 --> 00:07:54,691
[INHALES DEEPLY] I like it.
221
00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,942
Run with it, Penisi. Good meeting.
222
00:07:58,719 --> 00:08:00,813
This is the most ridiculous
idea I've ever heard!
223
00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:03,682
Fruits and vegetables? Are
you having an aneurysm, Cap?
224
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,020
Yeah, having an aneurysm like a fox.
225
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:09,095
We can be naked behind the food.
226
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,089
Natural, delicious foods
227
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,719
presented by au naturel firefighters.
228
00:08:14,028 --> 00:08:16,619
It's the perfect Trojan
horse. Think about it.
229
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:18,557
Who's gonna call you out for being naked
230
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,141
as long as the food pyramid's involved?
231
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,846
- Nobody.
- Nobody.
232
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,196
- Nobody.
- Cap! I could kiss you.
233
00:08:24,221 --> 00:08:26,128
Well, you better do it now,
'cause in a couple days,
234
00:08:26,152 --> 00:08:27,239
I'm gonna be naked and oily
235
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:29,241
with a gigantic stalk
of nutritious asparagus
236
00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:30,292
right in front of my wang!
237
00:08:30,317 --> 00:08:32,570
[ALL LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
238
00:08:35,413 --> 00:08:37,066
♪♪
239
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,060
Oh, that's what I like to see...
240
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,885
some hard, buff bodies for our wholesome
241
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,422
and healthy beefcake calendar.
242
00:08:42,447 --> 00:08:44,222
We're gonna out-sell
every station in town.
243
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,698
- You got that right.
- Ooh! Ho, ho, ho! Okay.
244
00:08:48,007 --> 00:08:50,428
Which one of you has been doing one
of those stanky-ass cleanse diets?
245
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,896
Sauerkraut butt blast.
246
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:55,293
- The paprika mega-purge.
- The cayenne clinch. Ahh.
247
00:08:55,318 --> 00:08:57,343
- I've just been doing Weight Watchers.
- Sensible.
248
00:08:57,368 --> 00:08:58,976
Hey, guys, let me get
your opinion on something.
249
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,975
I'm thinking about
growing my nip hairs out.
250
00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:02,683
I think they're making a comeback,
251
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,042
and I do want to be on trend, so...
252
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,378
Lucky for you, the unibrow
is making a comeback.
253
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,912
[LAUGHTER]
254
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,382
And you need a once-over
with those ear and nose hairs,
255
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,571
- old timer.
- Hey, watch it, whippersnapper.
256
00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:14,374
Hey, Andy, doesn't your mom run a salon?
257
00:09:14,399 --> 00:09:16,321
Maybe she can give us all, like,
a friends and family discount.
258
00:09:16,345 --> 00:09:17,900
Yeah, I don't know.
259
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,058
I think there's something
weirdly sexual about my mom
260
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,660
pouring hot wax on your bodies.
261
00:09:21,788 --> 00:09:22,795
Hey, hey.
262
00:09:22,797 --> 00:09:24,997
Uh, then we're definitely
doing it, like 100%.
263
00:09:25,535 --> 00:09:26,909
- Settled.
- Maybe she can take a look
264
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,667
- at Granny's humongous muff.
- Dude.
265
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,135
Yeah, maybe she's got a weed
whacker in the back of her salon.
266
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,737
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Time-out.
267
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,673
Nobody's touching my briar patch, okay?
268
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,741
Remember Samson in the Bible? All right?
269
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,336
You cut off the bird's
nest, I lose my manhood.
270
00:09:39,493 --> 00:09:41,013
- Not happening.
- Ugh!
271
00:09:41,574 --> 00:09:44,069
It smells like a Dumpster behind
a Hungarian restaurant in here.
272
00:09:44,093 --> 00:09:45,576
- We're all fartin'.
- We're all doing
273
00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:47,486
- different master cleanses.
- I'm doing Weight Watchers.
274
00:09:47,488 --> 00:09:49,648
Probie, go to my bathroom
and get the pot-pourri spray.
275
00:09:49,859 --> 00:09:52,735
Oh, great, now it'll smell
like shit and pot-pourri.
276
00:09:52,949 --> 00:09:55,214
Huh. Master cleanses
and vanity workouts, huh?
277
00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:57,515
Seems unnecessary for
a food-group calendar.
278
00:09:57,709 --> 00:09:59,309
We're just trying to
stay healthy, Chief.
279
00:09:59,426 --> 00:10:00,648
- Is that what it is?
- Yeah.
280
00:10:00,673 --> 00:10:02,251
- You sure?
- Poz.
281
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,036
- You should try it sometime.
- What'd you say?
282
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,298
- Hmm?
- You say something?
283
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,662
Uh, I said we're just trying
to stay healthy, Chief.
284
00:10:07,686 --> 00:10:09,483
Okay. It stinks in here.
285
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:13,228
- Mm-hmm.
- [WHISTLING]
286
00:10:13,253 --> 00:10:15,547
Okay, so, we'll meet up
287
00:10:15,595 --> 00:10:17,382
at Andy's mom's place after work, right?
288
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,650
On one condition, though.
289
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,653
Nobody say anything about the calendar.
290
00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:21,816
She'd go nuts.
291
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,014
[FART] I gotta go.
292
00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:25,546
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Unh!
293
00:10:27,373 --> 00:10:28,405
[DOOR BELL CHIMES]
294
00:10:29,109 --> 00:10:30,109
Hi.
295
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:32,079
Ooh, cool!
296
00:10:32,752 --> 00:10:35,753
Alo-Air... Alao... Alo-hay-ir.
297
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,549
Ala... Hair-ah...
298
00:10:38,588 --> 00:10:40,211
Bah! I give up! How do you say it?
299
00:10:40,782 --> 00:10:42,849
Hey! Ka'ponko!
300
00:10:42,874 --> 00:10:44,610
- Hey, Mom. Hi.
- Hi, honey.
301
00:10:44,724 --> 00:10:46,692
Ka'ponko? What's... What's Ka'ponko?
302
00:10:46,756 --> 00:10:48,536
Oh, my Hawaiian name is Ka'ponko.
303
00:10:48,666 --> 00:10:49,798
- Oh.
- Oh.
304
00:10:50,063 --> 00:10:51,797
What are we doing today? A butt wax?
305
00:10:51,822 --> 00:10:53,739
Or are we just touching
up around the ding-a-ling?
306
00:10:53,763 --> 00:10:55,455
- Ooh. Uh...
- [LAUGHS]
307
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,348
- I'll do the usual.
- Oh, okay, all three. All right.
308
00:10:58,373 --> 00:10:59,897
Hey, let's get smooth, huh?
309
00:10:59,937 --> 00:11:01,684
- Hey, get smooth!
- Smooth.
310
00:11:01,717 --> 00:11:03,240
- [TEARING]
- [CHUCKLING]
311
00:11:03,265 --> 00:11:04,314
That's a new feeling.
312
00:11:04,339 --> 00:11:07,278
You should have seem my son
after his first butt wax.
313
00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:09,582
- He cried for days!
- Mom!
314
00:11:09,607 --> 00:11:11,682
[LAUGHTER]
315
00:11:11,894 --> 00:11:14,041
Aw, but, Andy's Mom, I
think that's just Ka'ponko
316
00:11:14,043 --> 00:11:15,254
being Ka'ponko, though, right?
317
00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:18,035
- That's our Ka'ponko!
- Classic Ka'ponko.
318
00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:19,198
Total Ka'ponko.
319
00:11:19,223 --> 00:11:20,237
Mm-hmm!
320
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,008
[LAUGHTER]
321
00:11:22,186 --> 00:11:27,060
Ooh. That is a lot of hair.
322
00:11:27,085 --> 00:11:29,824
Let me see here. Yikes!
323
00:11:29,849 --> 00:11:32,575
Hey, did you sneak a
Portuguese Water Dog in here?
324
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,172
Read the sign... "No pets."
325
00:11:34,197 --> 00:11:35,801
Oh, no, ma'am. With all due respect,
326
00:11:35,826 --> 00:11:39,266
I will pass on the
waxing of my low 'fro.
327
00:11:39,308 --> 00:11:42,041
Oh, don't be silly. Everybody in
my Bible study group's doing it.
328
00:11:42,066 --> 00:11:43,495
Oh, Granny, just do it.
Then you'll be all nice
329
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:44,794
and trim for the beefcake calendar.
330
00:11:44,818 --> 00:11:46,002
What? Beefcake?
331
00:11:46,027 --> 00:11:48,161
- [SIZZLING]
- Aaaaaaah!
332
00:11:48,186 --> 00:11:50,220
I don't do porn stars! Get out!
333
00:11:50,503 --> 00:11:52,059
It's gonna be a nice calendar, Mom.
334
00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:53,322
That's what you said last year
335
00:11:53,347 --> 00:11:54,801
when you grabbed the fire hydrant
336
00:11:54,826 --> 00:11:57,827
between your legs to suggest
how the male genitalia functions!
337
00:11:57,852 --> 00:12:00,201
- Well, you wax buttholes!
- Out, out, out!
338
00:12:00,226 --> 00:12:04,116
I will not have you taint the
dignity of the Myawani name!
339
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,208
The woman does know
a thing or two about taints.
340
00:12:06,287 --> 00:12:09,514
- Not funny! Get out! Get out, get out!
- Hey, whoa! Hey!
341
00:12:09,539 --> 00:12:11,263
Out, cowboy boots!
342
00:12:11,288 --> 00:12:12,295
Thank you.
343
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,956
[ALL GRUNTING]
344
00:12:16,981 --> 00:12:18,703
Oh, God! I can't walk!
345
00:12:19,332 --> 00:12:20,507
You guys, don't break the fruit.
346
00:12:20,509 --> 00:12:21,906
We have to use it for the calendar.
347
00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:23,221
[LAUGHS]
348
00:12:23,246 --> 00:12:26,738
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- This calendar is gonna be bananas.
349
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,640
How you holding up, Granny?
350
00:12:29,852 --> 00:12:32,446
Had to shave it bald
to get all the wax off.
351
00:12:32,549 --> 00:12:35,283
[CRYING] And it's gone. It's all gone.
352
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,721
Am I the only one freezing in here?
353
00:12:39,328 --> 00:12:41,695
[WHIMPERING]
354
00:12:43,623 --> 00:12:45,171
"Excuse me, sir, have
you, uh, had your picture
355
00:12:45,195 --> 00:12:47,561
taken before with fruits and vegetables
covering your unmentionables?"
356
00:12:47,585 --> 00:12:49,291
"Um, yeah, well, you
know, I've done, uh...
357
00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:50,539
I've done pickle, I've done cucumber,
358
00:12:50,563 --> 00:12:51,763
I've done, uh, squash, eggplant.
359
00:12:51,787 --> 00:12:53,321
Never a, uh, chili
pepper, though, so..."
360
00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:54,744
How great is this banana?
361
00:12:54,769 --> 00:12:56,803
If only I could pull back
the peels and then use that
362
00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:58,693
to cover my melons,
you know what I mean?
363
00:12:58,718 --> 00:12:59,970
[LAUGHS] Awesome.
364
00:13:00,134 --> 00:13:02,335
Seems like the nudity's creeping
back into this photo shoot!
365
00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:04,226
Oh, yeah! It's gonna be epic, Chief!
366
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,573
- No, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no.
367
00:13:05,597 --> 00:13:07,113
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no.
368
00:13:07,138 --> 00:13:08,520
It's clean. It's on the up-and-up.
369
00:13:08,545 --> 00:13:09,935
- You sure?
- Yeah, you said no nudity.
370
00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:11,229
There's gonna be no... n-no nudity.
371
00:13:11,253 --> 00:13:13,454
Yeah. Fruits and vegetables. What
can we possibly do that's dirty?
372
00:13:13,478 --> 00:13:14,494
No nudity.
373
00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:18,237
- You take my picture.
- Ohh!
374
00:13:19,769 --> 00:13:21,701
N-o-o-o-o!
375
00:13:22,609 --> 00:13:24,450
[SIGHS]
376
00:13:24,639 --> 00:13:29,788
♪♪
377
00:13:35,526 --> 00:13:39,995
♪♪
378
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,020
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
379
00:13:42,045 --> 00:13:43,088
Hmm.
380
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:44,979
♪♪
381
00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:46,774
[SIGHS]
382
00:13:48,302 --> 00:13:50,333
Release it all over.
383
00:13:50,358 --> 00:13:52,359
Sorry about your pants,
Cap, but that's, you know...
384
00:13:52,383 --> 00:13:53,654
So, as you can see,
385
00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:55,996
you got more of a general shine
386
00:13:56,021 --> 00:13:57,158
- going here, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
387
00:13:57,182 --> 00:14:00,248
Whereas my Canyon Breeze,
more of a shimmer, you know?
388
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,330
- More of a show. Boop
- Yeah, I see.
389
00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:04,245
Got a nice scent, too. That's not bad.
390
00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:06,061
[SNIFFS] I mean, that smells great.
391
00:14:06,086 --> 00:14:08,687
- Right?
- It's like vanilla with jasmine.
392
00:14:09,003 --> 00:14:10,913
Hey, hold on, you guys. Is
that what the Canyon Breeze is?
393
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,397
- Yeah.
- Tough day for both of us, huh?
394
00:14:13,712 --> 00:14:15,595
Yeah, but your pubes will grown back,
395
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,947
and my issue with my mom
is gonna go on forever.
396
00:14:19,006 --> 00:14:20,606
You know, I was raised
by my grandmother.
397
00:14:21,022 --> 00:14:23,547
She said the same thing,
till a few years ago,
398
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:26,701
I finally had enough, and I
walked straight up to Granny.
399
00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:30,570
I said, "Granny, I'm a
grown-ass man. No more."
400
00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:32,662
Granny said, "Don't
talk to me like that."
401
00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:33,887
I said, "Granny, hear me out."
402
00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:36,329
Granny said, "You go
to your room right now."
403
00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:39,319
"Granny, I'm not going to
my room anymore, Granny."
404
00:14:39,448 --> 00:14:42,011
"Granny, don't talk to me like
that! I said go to your room!"
405
00:14:42,036 --> 00:14:45,011
"Well, Granny's time to go
to Granny's room is over!"
406
00:14:46,161 --> 00:14:48,029
And that's when I
think Granny understood.
407
00:14:48,198 --> 00:14:51,347
Or should I say...
Granny understood Granny.
408
00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:54,954
I'm sorry. You lost me so long ago.
409
00:14:54,979 --> 00:14:56,749
Point is, is that you
got to let her know
410
00:14:57,059 --> 00:14:58,725
that you can make your own decisions.
411
00:14:58,846 --> 00:15:01,381
And tell her that you're
doing that beefcake calendar.
412
00:15:01,489 --> 00:15:03,823
No, you're right. Yeah. I'm gonna do it.
413
00:15:04,095 --> 00:15:05,895
- Thanks, Granny.
- That's what I'm talking about.
414
00:15:05,919 --> 00:15:07,425
- Mm-hmm.
- Is that pressure okay?
415
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:09,577
- Mm, mm-hmm, mm.
- Mm, Mm-hmm.
416
00:15:09,602 --> 00:15:11,370
- There you go.
- Yeah.
417
00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:13,364
Feels like a lot, but it's
not that much. Ah, it is.
418
00:15:13,388 --> 00:15:15,246
It's quite a bit. Might go
down into your pants a bit.
419
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:18,137
Oh, my God. My skin is, like,
absorbing this like a sponge.
420
00:15:18,176 --> 00:15:20,028
Yeah, yeah. You know what you
got to do? You got to relax.
421
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:22,194
- Okay.
- Get my arm. Come on.
422
00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:25,012
- [IKE AND GRANNY GRUNTING]
- Hey, hey, hey, guys!
423
00:15:25,037 --> 00:15:27,069
Can I have your attention,
please? Listen up here, guys.
424
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,693
I just got of the
phone with Linda Price.
425
00:15:28,743 --> 00:15:30,482
Apparently she got word
that you guys were trying
426
00:15:30,506 --> 00:15:32,061
to sneak nudity into this new concept.
427
00:15:32,086 --> 00:15:33,585
And I'm sorry to say this,
428
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:36,365
but Linda Price has canceled
this year's calendar shoot.
429
00:15:36,453 --> 00:15:37,833
- What?!
- What? No!
430
00:15:37,858 --> 00:15:39,724
- Come on, Chief!
- It's off.
431
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,874
- Are you kidding me?!
- Terrible news, guys.
432
00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:43,657
- Come on!
- For all of us.
433
00:15:43,682 --> 00:15:45,263
- Come on!
- Come on, Chief.
434
00:15:45,288 --> 00:15:46,620
- Chief!
- Man!
435
00:15:49,552 --> 00:15:52,753
♪♪
436
00:15:53,516 --> 00:15:55,431
- You!
- I tried to stop him, Miss Price,
437
00:15:55,456 --> 00:15:57,568
but... he was too slippery.
438
00:15:57,932 --> 00:16:00,532
That's okay. You seem hot and bothered.
439
00:16:00,557 --> 00:16:02,007
- I am.
- And oily.
440
00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:03,748
- Yeah, I am.
- How can I help?
441
00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:07,093
You can start by taking that
stick out of your badonkadonk!
442
00:16:07,323 --> 00:16:09,827
Look. I know times are changing, okay?
443
00:16:09,852 --> 00:16:12,862
But my grandfather Luigi Penisi
444
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:17,024
appeared in the 1953
Tacoma FD Beefcake Calendar
445
00:16:17,061 --> 00:16:19,654
using a suggestively placed
sausage to help a woman
446
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,713
in a bikini climb down
from a burning building.
447
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,714
Now, I'm pretty sure I understand
448
00:16:23,739 --> 00:16:25,391
why you couldn't get
away with that today.
449
00:16:25,507 --> 00:16:28,792
But I will not leave this
office until you explain to me
450
00:16:28,918 --> 00:16:30,665
why we can't have a photo shoot
451
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,857
where we pose with oversize food groups.
452
00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:37,437
- Ugh!
- Wow.
453
00:16:37,462 --> 00:16:39,377
An impressive, dramatic monologue
454
00:16:39,402 --> 00:16:41,554
and delightful display
of physical comedy.
455
00:16:41,776 --> 00:16:43,241
Ohh.
456
00:16:43,441 --> 00:16:45,175
But who said you can't
do the photo shoot?
457
00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:47,750
Uh, I was told that you were the one
458
00:16:47,775 --> 00:16:50,120
who put the kibosh on the calendar.
459
00:16:50,145 --> 00:16:51,145
No.
460
00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:53,994
I've even arranged to put them
up in all the public schools.
461
00:16:54,877 --> 00:16:56,410
Be sure to include cabbage.
462
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,672
I feel like cabbage gets a bad rap.
463
00:16:58,955 --> 00:17:00,641
[CHUCKLES]
464
00:17:01,908 --> 00:17:03,113
That means that...
465
00:17:04,712 --> 00:17:07,061
Miss Price, I'm sorry I
got your desk all greasy.
466
00:17:07,473 --> 00:17:10,214
Mm. From now on, I'll
call you "Greasy Penisi."
467
00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:14,576
Yeah, actually that's a racially
insensitive slur nowadays.
468
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,570
Huh. Times really have changed.
469
00:17:17,226 --> 00:17:19,030
So, did you hear the
one about the two peanuts
470
00:17:19,055 --> 00:17:20,530
who got... a-salted?
471
00:17:20,555 --> 00:17:22,705
[CHUCKLES] Shit. No. Wait.
472
00:17:23,162 --> 00:17:25,325
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
473
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:28,440
One of them gets a-salted, yeah?
474
00:17:28,932 --> 00:17:29,948
I think.
475
00:17:30,329 --> 00:17:32,498
Okay, look. I'm off
my A-game. All right?
476
00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:34,931
I was forced to shave
off my little 'fro today,
477
00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:37,100
but if I can just kind of give you...
478
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,251
[WHISTLES] Hey.
479
00:17:38,526 --> 00:17:40,370
Come on, boys. Let's get out of here.
480
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:43,156
Hey. Let's go, buddy. Oops.
481
00:17:44,028 --> 00:17:45,123
IKE: Have a nice day.
482
00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:49,989
Hey, Chief. Guess what. I
just spoke to Linda Price.
483
00:17:50,183 --> 00:17:52,690
And she says she didn't
cancel the calendar.
484
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,738
Wh-a-a-at?
485
00:17:54,972 --> 00:17:57,639
In fact, she said she didn't
speak to you at all today.
486
00:17:57,919 --> 00:17:58,940
All right. You know what?
487
00:17:59,027 --> 00:18:01,215
I don't have to answer to
you guys about the decisions
488
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,411
- made in this station.
- I knew it. I knew it.
489
00:18:03,436 --> 00:18:05,103
This calendar thing's a distraction.
490
00:18:05,128 --> 00:18:08,129
You guys are running around like
a bunch of oiled-up peacocks.
491
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,888
Wait. This is about me, isn't it?
492
00:18:12,374 --> 00:18:13,789
You just don't want
to see your little girl
493
00:18:13,813 --> 00:18:15,662
posing provocatively for a calendar?
494
00:18:16,302 --> 00:18:17,640
No, I don't mind that.
495
00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:20,143
I mean, well, I don't want to
see you in a racy photo, but...
496
00:18:20,574 --> 00:18:22,840
You're a grown woman. You
can make your own choices.
497
00:18:22,937 --> 00:18:24,414
Yeah? So what is it then?
498
00:18:26,662 --> 00:18:27,685
You want to know what it is?
499
00:18:27,709 --> 00:18:29,040
Yeah, I want to know what it is.
500
00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:30,065
You want to know?
501
00:18:30,090 --> 00:18:31,883
- Yes, we want to know!
- I just said I want to know what it is.
502
00:18:31,907 --> 00:18:33,651
- Do both of you want to know?!
- We want...
503
00:18:33,676 --> 00:18:35,481
- Tell us what it is!
- What do you think we're doing here?!
504
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:37,891
It's me, okay? It's me. Look.
505
00:18:38,545 --> 00:18:40,256
I used to be a fit stud.
506
00:18:40,562 --> 00:18:42,282
I was a cover boy!
507
00:18:42,441 --> 00:18:44,363
A virile piece of man meat!
508
00:18:45,265 --> 00:18:47,986
That's June! I look like Toby Keith!
509
00:18:49,064 --> 00:18:50,248
Now what, huh?
510
00:18:50,438 --> 00:18:52,905
Now I'm supposed to be on
some calendar half undressed,
511
00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:55,510
looking like a tired old
sack of whale blubber?!
512
00:18:55,659 --> 00:18:57,956
Dad, don't be ridiculous.
513
00:18:58,323 --> 00:19:00,928
You're still one of the
handsomest guys that I know.
514
00:19:01,089 --> 00:19:04,828
Yes, you're larger, but you
carry it with dignity. You know?
515
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:08,150
Like Cedric the Entertainer or Meat Loaf
516
00:19:08,175 --> 00:19:11,208
or, um, Steven Seagal.
517
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,265
Yeah, Seagal.
518
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:15,596
Look, you're still easily
one of the best-looking guys
519
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:17,058
- at the station.
- Okay, okay,
520
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,860
let's not spread it on too thick here.
521
00:19:18,885 --> 00:19:21,250
Come on, Uncle Eddie! Tell
him how gorgeous he is.
522
00:19:21,354 --> 00:19:23,783
No, I'm not gonna lie to the guy.
He knows what he looks like.
523
00:19:23,807 --> 00:19:25,234
But I will say this, Chief.
524
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,442
The world needs to
celebrate people like you.
525
00:19:28,555 --> 00:19:29,656
Yeah!
526
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,641
People of all shapes and sizes.
527
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,954
This is the perfect opportunity
528
00:19:34,182 --> 00:19:36,364
for you to send a
body-positive message...
529
00:19:36,514 --> 00:19:40,603
something validating to all
those little kids out there
530
00:19:40,628 --> 00:19:44,599
who, like you, resemble a
bowling ball on toothpicks.
531
00:19:44,793 --> 00:19:46,326
Kids with butts
532
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,603
that couldn't possibly
hold up a pair of pants.
533
00:19:49,008 --> 00:19:52,241
Just looking at ass
crack all day long, 24/7.
534
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:54,066
Hey, thanks, Uncle Eddie.
I'll stop you there.
535
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:56,452
You know what else? I
know this photo editor,
536
00:19:56,477 --> 00:19:57,852
and she has these apps on her phone,
537
00:19:57,876 --> 00:20:00,076
and she can literally turn
you into the love child
538
00:20:00,101 --> 00:20:03,357
of Russell Wilson and The
Rock in, like, three minutes.
539
00:20:03,382 --> 00:20:05,660
- Really?
- Yeah, you're gonna look amazing!
540
00:20:06,141 --> 00:20:08,261
- Let's do that.
- Yeah, I think that's a better idea.
541
00:20:09,282 --> 00:20:15,054
♪ Mm-mm, mm, mm,
mm-mm, mm, mm ♪
542
00:20:16,443 --> 00:20:17,499
Come on, Andy!
543
00:20:18,223 --> 00:20:20,765
Buddy! Come on, man.
544
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:23,156
Get into it. It's gonna be a blast.
545
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,861
They've got everything
you want here. Look.
546
00:20:25,052 --> 00:20:26,876
Professional-quality hair in a can.
547
00:20:27,512 --> 00:20:29,552
- Hey! God, man!
- You love this stuff!
548
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:32,841
Mom?
549
00:20:33,371 --> 00:20:35,125
I wanted to come here
to make sure you're not
550
00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:38,221
participating in
this... disgusting orgy.
551
00:20:38,246 --> 00:20:40,023
Oh. We're having an
orgy after the shoot?
552
00:20:40,628 --> 00:20:42,137
Not sure I like the ratio.
553
00:20:42,295 --> 00:20:43,718
You didn't have to come here.
554
00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:45,991
- Tell her.
- You know what?
555
00:20:46,706 --> 00:20:49,637
I'm not a child anymore. I
can make my own decisions.
556
00:20:49,853 --> 00:20:51,536
And I'm here to support my friends,
557
00:20:51,596 --> 00:20:54,746
show off my ripped glutes,
and promote healthy eating.
558
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:58,178
I love you, but I'm
gonna do this calendar.
559
00:20:59,512 --> 00:21:00,941
Am I still your little Ka'ponko?
560
00:21:02,375 --> 00:21:04,439
I have no Ka'ponko.
561
00:21:05,174 --> 00:21:08,316
What? Ugh. Did you hear that?
562
00:21:08,454 --> 00:21:10,483
Hey. Hey. It's gonna be okay.
563
00:21:10,598 --> 00:21:12,430
- You're our little Ka'ponko.
- [GIGGLES]
564
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,176
- Come on. It's gonna be awesome.
- Hey, wait, hey.
565
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,215
Come on.
566
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:18,247
Okay, who's gonna be the
first one to forever change
567
00:21:18,272 --> 00:21:20,153
the way people look
at beefcake calendars?
568
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:22,702
Watch and learn, you hairless lap dogs.
569
00:21:23,571 --> 00:21:25,004
- Yeah!
- Yeah, Chief!
570
00:21:25,029 --> 00:21:27,069
- Ohh!
- Perfect!
571
00:21:27,094 --> 00:21:29,493
Ooh, that ain't dolphin-safe, Chief.
572
00:21:29,518 --> 00:21:30,969
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
573
00:21:30,994 --> 00:21:32,646
LUCY: Go, Chief. Go, Chief.
574
00:21:33,982 --> 00:21:36,189
- I like mine with cheese!
- Work those buns!
575
00:21:36,214 --> 00:21:39,190
- Flame-broiled muscle.
- Make it ripe! Make it ripe!
576
00:21:39,857 --> 00:21:41,340
Peel it. Peel it.
577
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,269
- Yeah, Lucy!
- Oh, oh!
578
00:21:43,773 --> 00:21:45,849
- Yeah, Cap!
- Ohh!
579
00:21:46,621 --> 00:21:48,439
Yeah, cabbage!
580
00:21:48,630 --> 00:21:50,696
- Hey!
- Hey!
581
00:21:50,967 --> 00:21:52,951
- IKE: Yeah, Andy!
- GRANNY: Go ahead!
582
00:21:53,617 --> 00:21:54,994
Have some milk with that cupcake.
583
00:21:55,711 --> 00:21:56,870
- Mmm!
- Yeah!
584
00:21:57,220 --> 00:21:58,286
He's feelin' it!
585
00:21:58,666 --> 00:22:00,753
I told you! I told you!
586
00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:02,577
[LAUGHTER]
587
00:22:02,878 --> 00:22:04,878
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
588
00:22:04,959 --> 00:22:06,442
GRANNY: Look at that Hawaiian flyin'.
589
00:22:06,467 --> 00:22:09,190
- Yeah!
- Put some cream in that thing!
590
00:22:09,215 --> 00:22:10,955
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
591
00:22:10,980 --> 00:22:12,614
- Get a glass of milk!
- Myawani!
592
00:22:12,639 --> 00:22:14,435
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
593
00:22:16,018 --> 00:22:17,018
Mom.
594
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:20,073
Oh, uh, Ka'ponko. Hey, don't worry.
595
00:22:20,098 --> 00:22:21,504
It's okay. All right?
596
00:22:21,529 --> 00:22:23,475
Standing back there,
watching you look so...
597
00:22:23,958 --> 00:22:28,353
cute and tiny behind that
gigantic cupcake with sprinkles,
598
00:22:28,599 --> 00:22:32,081
it just made me realize that
I was the one being small...
599
00:22:32,529 --> 00:22:35,051
small for not accepting
what made you happy.
600
00:22:35,375 --> 00:22:36,456
Aw.
601
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,274
- Ka'ponko. Ohh.
- [SQUISH]
602
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,820
Ugh. You know what?
603
00:22:41,092 --> 00:22:44,359
And if dancing around naked
with food makes you happy...
604
00:22:44,384 --> 00:22:46,075
- Yeah.
- ... it makes me happy.
605
00:22:46,307 --> 00:22:48,719
ALL: Aww!
606
00:22:48,945 --> 00:22:50,794
Oh, and I had to make it up to you, too.
607
00:22:50,819 --> 00:22:52,207
So I made you this.
608
00:22:53,624 --> 00:22:55,356
- My new low 'fro!
- Uh-huh.
609
00:22:55,381 --> 00:22:57,052
- [LAUGHS]
- It's made from sweepings.
610
00:22:57,161 --> 00:22:58,283
It's like a hodgepodge.
611
00:22:58,696 --> 00:23:00,156
- Smells great!
- Ah.
612
00:23:00,704 --> 00:23:02,054
- Oh, right now?
- Oh!
613
00:23:03,047 --> 00:23:05,016
- I got my muff back!
- Ah!
614
00:23:08,882 --> 00:23:11,523
I guess I was thinking
we would be normal-sized
615
00:23:11,548 --> 00:23:13,183
and the food would be huge.
616
00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:15,273
GRANNY: Well, maybe there was a
miscommunication in the printer.
617
00:23:15,297 --> 00:23:16,963
Oh, no, no. No miscommunication.
618
00:23:16,988 --> 00:23:18,348
This is exactly what I told him to do.
619
00:23:18,372 --> 00:23:20,439
[LAUGHS] Aw, you look adorable.
620
00:23:20,464 --> 00:23:22,197
Did you see me on May? May.
621
00:23:22,222 --> 00:23:24,232
- Hey. 2,000 copies.
- Wow. Really?
622
00:23:24,257 --> 00:23:26,863
Yep, we printed 2,000 of
these idiotic calendars,
623
00:23:26,888 --> 00:23:27,968
and we only sold 17.
624
00:23:28,091 --> 00:23:29,914
And thanks to Lucy, we
couldn't even tap into
625
00:23:29,939 --> 00:23:32,139
our historically reliable
gay-dude demographic.
626
00:23:32,164 --> 00:23:33,521
- Right. Thanks, Lucy.
- Man.
627
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:35,572
Even the Tacoma public
schools didn't want it.
628
00:23:35,597 --> 00:23:37,708
- So, what now?
- Well, now you guys find a place
629
00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:40,418
to stash this huge cache
of useless calendars,
630
00:23:40,443 --> 00:23:41,683
and we never speak of it again.
631
00:23:43,262 --> 00:23:46,169
Wait, Chief. H-Hey, fellas!
632
00:23:46,416 --> 00:23:49,684
♪♪
633
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:52,235
Fools. Bureaucratic fools!
634
00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:53,308
Hey, hey.
635
00:23:54,412 --> 00:23:56,044
They don't know what they've got there.
636
00:23:56,089 --> 00:23:57,610
Let me buy you a protein shake.
637
00:23:58,792 --> 00:24:00,375
You know. Protein?
638
00:24:00,576 --> 00:24:04,344
♪♪
639
00:24:29,776 --> 00:24:33,176
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www.addic7ed.com
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