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Where have you been?
Where are the others?

I don't know, I'm scared.
Something's wrong.

Girls, just calm down.

No, Mike and Linda
have never come back.

Ralph went to go look for
them and now he's gone too.

Help me find him.

- Alright, alright.
- We'll find him.

Yeah, we'll look
around down here.

You go upstairs

-and get dressed.
-Okay.

I'm not leaving without Ralph.

Just gonna drive over to
the sheriff's department

-on the main road.
-We'll be right back with help.

- I'm not leaving!
- You've got to come!

Let's take one last look around.

We'll be right back.

One last look?

One last look?

Alright.

Okay, you two go around that
side and I'll go this way.

Uh-uh, Buddy, I'm
sticking with you.

Why don't you two
go around this side

and I'll go around that side?

- Make it fast.
- Okay.

Cut! Cut!

I thought I said, "no
phones on my set"!

Who in the hell has a goddamn
phone ringing on my set?

What?

Goddammit!

I thought I told you
to never ever call me

when I'm fucking working!

Bitch!

Flashing.

Goddammit! Delete that.

Get off my set.

Okay, first positions.

Sydney, tell
Shastrom and Ferrell,

"we're gonna do
the poke gag next".

Watch the barn
doors. Don't cut yourself.

Yeah, man, I've
done this before.

All right.

Can't be done,
bro. The day is over.

What?

Union rules, boss.

It's triple time now.
It's the golden time.

It's just one more shot.
It won't take but a bit.

You can shoot it if you want to,
but it's just gonna cost more.

Three times as much, plus
we get additional turnaround

and an extra meal.

Goddammit! It's
just one more shot.

Let's put it up to
the crew for a vote.

Sorry, it can't be
done. Union rules.

Just one more shot, Julian.

I've seen your notes, bro,
there's like three more setups.

That would probably take like
four hours with shooting.

That's half a day. We're
already 14 hours into this day.

No can do.

Come on, bro. We can finish
this thing and wrap tonight.

Can't be done, bro.

Besides, the wrap party and
the horror fest are scheduled

for tomorrow night.

Horror fans are gonna be here.

- Mind the doors.
- Right.

You'll pay for this.

Sydney, tell
Shastrom and Ferrell,

we're not gonna do
the poke gag today.

We'll do them tomorrow
morning, first thing.

That's it for today,
everybody. Thank you.

Be here tomorrow,
10:00 AM sharp.

You can leave anything
here you want.

It's a hot set.
We have security.

But a 10:00 AM call tomorrow?
All that daylight again.

We'll just close
the doors again.

Newby can handle
it again, no sweat.

Not tomorrow.
Tomorrow's Saturday.

Not a work day, unless you
wanna pay time and a half.

-Goddammit!
-Hey, it beats triple time.

You and me need to talk.

10:00 tomorrow?

Okay, folks, that's it for
today. Call tomorrow, 10:00 A.

- Mind the doors.
- Right.

Olivia, I'm strangling you.

Like, my hand is
against your neck.

Like, how could you ever
think you can speak?

Yeah, but I still think
I should have a line.

And I mean, why do I have
to wear this stupid wig?

'Cause your hair looks
nothing like hers.

Yeah, but it's a remake.

I'm not supposed to even
look exactly like her.

I'll take that.

And I'lltake that.

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

Anything else?

- That's it.
- I'll see you at the shop.

Fo' sho.

She should totally have a line.

Henry has been looking for you.

Ugh, that douche-nozzle?

I've been dodging
him this whole shoot.

He just wants the vag.

I can't say I blame him.

Shut up, McNutt!

You know what? I don't even
know why I keep hiring you.

Because you told Mom
you'd look after me.

Yeah. Worst fucking
mistake of my life.

Next to getting into
the movie industry.

Jon, you okay?

Never been better. You?

Ugh.

The condo at the beach,

it's changed since
you were here before?

It was just a movie,
but it brings bad vibes.

Yeah, we're gonna
have a good time

Even if it kills us.

Hey, you know what?
Lets go check in.

Why did you
buy this stupid car?

Because it's cool.

Well, it won't start.

Try putting your
foot on the brake.

There you go.

Hi, how are you?

Pardon me for asking,

are you the killer from
the last movie they made?

Yes, Big Ed.

I thought so.

Maybe you won't be doing
any killings this weekend.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Never mind. My killing
days are behind me.

So you're safe...

for a while maybe.

Thank you. I'll pass
the word around.

- Keys. You have some keys.
- Keys.

- Thank you.
- Here are your keys.

Don't forget your bag.

Your name tag is in this bag.

You'll need to wear
it to the party.

Ah. Okay.

- Ah! Hello.
- Hi!

It's really you!

Hi Jack. Kill anyone lately?

You know, I was just telling
this lovely young lady here

that my killing days...
are behind me.

It's Mr and Mrs RH Martinez.

I recognize you from the
last movie. Welcome back.

Yes, it's good to see you.

We're so glad to have
been invited to the party.

Hey, do you remember which
room I had the last time?

No, I don't. Um--

I just remember it was pretty
far away from everyone else's.

Yes, they tried to keep
me away from everyone else

to preserve my character's
reputation as the good girl.

-Yeah.
-No partying for me.

Well, how did that work for you?

I'll see you two outside.

Oh, keys.

- Thank you.
- Don't forget your bags.

Here are some name
tags in there.

You need to wear
them to the party.

Very good. Thanks so much.

Hey Jack. How you doing, sir?

I'm fine.

Good seeing you again.

Good to see you.

Yeah, it's been a long time.

-Yeah.
-And speaking of which--

Jack?

Sweetie.

It's so good to see you.

It's good to see you, guys.

Good to see you.

How have you been?

I've been well, Ruthie.

How long has it been?

Too long, friend. Too long.

That's what Buddy said.

Can you believe these
el cheaposwag bags?

Oh, Bill, they're okay.

Look, a t-shirt.

Yeah.

Oh, Ruthie, Did you
get your old room back?

It was 216, right?

I don't remember.

Uh-huh? I do. It was room
216, all right.

I don't remember my
room number either,

but I don't remember a
lot of things nowadays.

- Hey Bill.
- Yeah?

You know what my favorite

kill was in "The Mutilator?"

Hmm.

That was when I grabbed
you by the throat with a

thumb and finger!

Man!

I always wanted to do that.

Just one more take.
Just one more.

Oh, I'm gonna go get settled in.

See you later.

Yeah, see you later.

There's something I don't
like about Bill. He's so smug.

I can't quite put
my finger on it,

just like he knows something
that we don't know.

I hardly knew him.

You are one
ugly motherfucker.

Hey, Sandy girl.

Henry! Great.

I'm not bothering you, am I?

Not at all, just
gluing some stuff on.

I've been looking for
you all over the place.

Well, these slashers keep the
prop department pretty busy.

That's good. That's
good, sweetie.

Look, listen, I'm dying
to ask you this question.

What's that?

Well, it's kind of,

I don't know how to say this.

It's weird. It's uh--

Just go ahead.

Listen, doll face,
I might embarrass you, okay,

when I say this, so--

I'm a big
girl, so out with it.

Hey, wait, is this
the first movie

that you've been
working with me on?

Yep.

Listen,
I've heard nothing

but good things about you.

That's great.

You are going to be working
with me very soon again.

I'm telling you.

Well, thank you.

I am often available,
sometimes too often.

Listen, I can do
something about that.

That'd be great.

I still don't know
how to put this.

Spit it out.

Okay, when a man

and a woman wanna get together

and do a certain thing in
the situations that are

in a way, you know, it just...

They gotta get inventive.
You understand?

Yeah, inventive? Um,
not exactly.

When they wanna get intimate,

non intimate ways, you know?

Not really. I don't know.

They wanna do it, but
they don't, you know--

Henry? Henry, are you
hinting at some head?

I heard you a suck
a mean dick. Is that true?

Um, where did
you hear that?

I can't reveal my sources,

but if it's true, hey, why
don't we find out, okay?

Look, Ican help youwith
your career,eh? Come on.

If you insist.

No, I can't insist. It
all has to be voluntary.

Step here in case
somebody walks in.

I like how you think.

Okay, take the little guy out.

Oh, he's notlittle.

Are you ready?

Oh, I see that you are
not a shower or a grower.

What?

Just stick it
through the curtain.

I don't like being watched.

You ever wonder what
deep throat is all about?

Oh, you're so big. You're
gonna have to push real hard.

Well, I could do that.

Okay, push now.

That's good, baby.

Oh, you keep that up.

Oh yeah. I like a little fur
down there from time to time.

What's up, dude?

Nothing much. Just
giving Henry some head.

Uh? Come again.

Excellent choice of words.

What the fuck?!

What the fuck?

Easy. It's glued on there.

It might take some meat with it.

It might take the
whole thing off

and that would require stitches,
lots of painful stitches.

Many.

How do I get this
goddamned thing off me?

Uh, well, you could use an
acetone or a solvent,

um, some nail polish
remover or alcohol.

Machete.

But any of those would
probably burn like hell.

You could try to whittle it off.

Oh, but you wanna be
careful with that knife.

Yeah, that prop cost
you a lot of money.

Try not to damage it. Oh,
plus we may need it again.

And then what, bitch?

A cold shower?

Oh? Cold shower.

You are never
working for me again.

What the fuck are
you looking at?

Hey, back it off. Oh, shit.

I had an accident. I'm sorry.

He's gonna have
to live with that?

Nah, if he'd take a bath

with soap and water, it
would wash right off.

On skin, that glue
deteriorates in 36 hours.

He'll wake up day after tomorrow

and it'll come right
off, so to speak.

Have you hummed a kazoo lately?

McNutt, I swear.

Wait, you never seen
one of these up close?

You know, I never
really understood

how to play those things.

Oh, I guess Henry
got some bad intel.

-Just shut up, asshole.
-As long as you put

the big end in your
mouth and then you hum.

You are weirdly good at that.

Oh, thank you. I got you one.

Oh, thank you.

How is he supposed to pee?

Henry? Oh shit.

Oh my god.

You need to quit
hampering the shoot.

My job is to look out for
the crew, not the shoot.

I'm not intentionally
hampering anything.

I'm just doing my job.

Well, lighten up!

Me lighten--? Youlighten up!

Look, you've been
working that crew

for 14 hours a day for five
days now. They're tired.

But they're professionals
so they keep giving.

You need to give them a short
day and a pat on the back.

Yeah, I know. You're right.

I just wanna get this thing
in the can and move on.

It's been a pain in the ass.

They sent us the wrong lenses,

the hard drives have all failed.

Even the special effects
gags haven't worked

and the crew laughs at
the fucking dailies.

This is a goddamn horror
movie,not a comedy.

What are we looking for?

My phone.

We're over budget,
behind schedule.

So what else is new?

But I understand.

-Um, the one you threw?
-Mm-hmm.

I'll talk to the crew.

Tomorrow's the last day.

You only have that one
scene left to film.

Why don't you give
'em a short day?

Call it a 10 hour day
and put it in the can.

The crew appreciates the tip

and the wrap party would be fun

and everyone will feel
good about the shoot

and about having
worked with you.

Maybe some of them may
want to work with you again

if the money's good.

Look bro, I'm sorry I popped
off at you the other day.

From now on, we'll
do it your way, okay?

Union rules and everything.

You know
I love you, man.

Asshole.

Who's there?

Hey, what's up?

Oh, what the--
Oh!

We're damn lucky that this
guy didn't destroy the set.

I'll tell you that,

because that would ruin
my day if that happened.

Is that right? Is
that right, man.

Can you fix that or what?

Yes, sir. We can get
it back up in no time.

All right. Hey, man.

All right, I gotta get
outta here. I'm outta here.

Julian, hey, how you doing?

Listen, take over for me. Okay?

Cover for me, please.

Just keep my name out of this,
you know what I mean?

But keep me posted, all
right? See you later.

That's right.
At the Oceanana Motel.

Send a black and
white and an EMS.

Copy that.

Don't you guys have
a safety officer

or somebody here on set?

Who's supposed to be keeping
an eye on everybody's safety?

He is.

Detective Joe Colombo, ABPD.

Columbo, really?

Yeah, big funny.

I'm cooler than Falk,
but I don't smoke

One of the remaining few.

This belonged
to the victim?

Hard to say. There were
a few going around.

Every cast and crew
member got one.

Might be the victim's.

It could be.

Might not be the victim's.

So how could an accident
like this happen?

There was no accident.

That light was bagged. It
wouldn't have just fallen over.

You think it was pushed?

My brother knew his
way around the set.

He didn't trip on it.

Yeah.
Yeah, I think someone pushed it.

Has anybody been on
the set recently?

Everyone's been on it for days.

Bag it.

Are you in charge
here, Mister...?

Hill. Only temporarily.

Who's the head cheese then?

Henry, the producer
is in charge.

I need to talk to
him. Where is he?

You just missed him.
He had to leave.

He's not available right now.

I'm in charge for now.

The headman is here
or he can't see me?

He asked
me to talk to you.

A man is dead. He doesn't
wanna talk to the police?

He wantsto talk to you.

He is just, uh, indisposed
at the moment, sir.

I really can't say more than...

I-- I am authorized
to speak for him.

Okay. I need to talk to
everyone that works here.

So get me a list of names
and let's start with your, uh,

Mr. Producer.

Actually, sir, most of
the people are sleeping.

Wake 'em up.

Some have left for the night.
They'll be back tomorrow.

We'll start with the people
who are here. Wake 'em up.

May I suggest an alternative?

No.

What?

Tomorrow's the last
day of shooting.

We needto finish this movie.

It's already gonna be
problematic enough with Jon dead

if we can finish it all.

It would just make things worse
if you got everyone excited.

There appears to have
been a murder here.

I need to talk to your
people one-on-one.

So who was the
first on the scene?

I understand. Security
guy was first.

But listen,

tomorrow after the last
shot is the wrap party.

Everyone will be here.

Come and mingle with the crowd

and figure out who
you want to talk to

and talk to them then.

Yeah, I don't like
it. It's too informal.

I will give you a complete
list of the cast and crew.

Everyone will be relaxed.
The job will be over.

There's pressure off.

Actually, they
would've been drinking

so there'll be loose lips,
if you know what I mean.

When does the party start?

Around 8:00.

Maybe a little earlier for
those who aren't needed on set.

It's not how I
operate, but I'll do it

and I'll be the life

or maybe the death
of your party.

Where's the security guard?
I'll talk to him now.

He's over there.

Hey, save my seat, please.
I'll be right back.

Good morning.

Hey Bill.

Ruthie, I would like
to introduce you

to my new friend, Ann.

Hey Ruthie.

Hello, Ann. Are
you on the shoot?

I'm a PA, but not
on call this morning.

I am. My name's Jack Chatham.

Big Ed in the original.
I'm pleased to meet you.

Well, thank you very much.

Ugh. Hi, RH.

Hey, what's this?

You take my seat?
Drink my coffee?

What's next?

Well, if Ruthie's not too busy.

Oh man!

Well, lucky for you,
I don't like bacon.

Yeah, right. Move.

Sit here.

Everything all
right at this table?

Everything's fine.

We are just recreating
a moment from the movie.

Say, aren't ya'all the
folks from that movie

that was made here?

Yep, these three
were in the cast.

Well, I'll be!

The principal actors.

We're glad to have y'all back.

Breakfast on the house today.

Whoa, why thank you, my kind sir

and would you happen to
have any steaks on the menu?

You kidder. Enjoy your meal.

I-- I wasn't kidding.

Well, now you are.

Here's my number, y'all.

Send me yours so we
can stay in touch.

Ann has been working very
hard on this motion picture

and she thinks that she has
a career in the industry.

And speaking of which,

what in the heck have all
y'all been doing the past,

I don't know, 35 years or so?

Well, I gave up
full-time teaching

to direct and perform more.

I work all the time now.

Yeah, I'm a singer-songwriter.

As a matter of fact, I just
got back from Nashville

where I was recording an album.

So who have youbeen
bothering all these years?

Ah, funny!

Listen, I have
been in real estate

and I have done quite well.

Thank you very much.

Is everyone excited
about the party tonight?

Two days of R&R at the beach?

Well, at first I didn't think

this was gonna be very much fun,

but now that I'm here,

I'm beginning to see
the possibilities.

The cast and crew eat here.
I wonder where they are.

Well, praise the Lord.

Maybe they're in church?

On a Saturday?

My sister-in-law would tell you

that my brother
was a special man,

a great human being,
a miracle worker.

He turned many second
rate screenplays

into great motion pictures

and yet he was never
awarded an Oscar.

All the guy did was make shit.

Profitable shit but it was shit.

No one was ever watching that.

I'm gonna miss him.

Pfft.

He liked show business.

He was the most beautiful
person in the whole world.

And he may have seemed like
a self-important person,

like an overbearingperson,

but really, he
was just insecure,

and full of self-doubt.

He was universally loved.

A fabulous friend and
a wonderful leader.

The things he cared
about; life, love,

kindness to others,
gentility...

Mom, apple pie...

He was a good man.

A humanitarian, a sweet soul.

He was an asshole.

Now,

how are we going to
finish this thing

without fuckwad?

He was slow as shit
and behind schedule.

We'll just finish it.
It's basically done.

We can use that last take,

lose the sound of
Jon's phone ringing,

but we can do it.

Just one last scene.

It's important to
us to finish it too.

It'll look bad on our
resumes if we don't finish.

People will think we're jinxed.

No, it has to be reshot.

The talent reacted to
the ringing in the phone.

Okay, well up to
the ringing then.

Ed, you saw it? Can
we use any of it?

Yeah, I mean, I can use a
lot of it up to the ringing.

Four shots.

Jon and I discussed it last
night just before, you know.

It's nearly done.

We would've finished
it last night,

but we had to quit
because of union rules.

Hey, those are not my rules!

Yes but...

We can probably do it.

"Probably"? I got a lot
at stake for fucking probably.

The lights are still set
up for the first shot.

We have the setups
planned for the rest.

Yeah, call hasn't been
canceled. It's just delayed.

Our people are still
here, you know.

We can set it for
2:00 this afternoon.

It should give us
plenty of time.

Okay. Yeah, but
who's gonna direct?

I mean, it can't be too hard

'cause Dumbo was doing it.

But who's gonna do it?

-I will.
-What?

I know his style.

I know what he is gonna
do, what he's gonna say.

I'm assistant director.

It's part of my job to take
over in situations like this.

No, I'll do it.
I'm more in charge.

Boss?

Yeah but, you are my main man

and besides, you don't know
what jackass had in mind.

He had everything planned out.

We'll just look at his notes.

Where are the
notes? Do you have them?

He kept 'em on his phone.

"On his phone"?

Okay, I mortgaged my yacht
for this turd of a movie

and he kept his notes
on his fucking phone?

It's the way he worked.
He kept it on him.

You know, it was handy.

He's always making changes.

You know, notes,
scripts, storyboards.

Jesus Christ. Where
is this fucking phone?

He threw it at a
light last night.

- What?
- It broke a bulb. $50.

Yeah, he was looking
for it on set last night.

-Do we have it?
-I don't know.

We settled a few things,
finished our conversation,

I went--

Wait, I picked it up yesterday

after he threw it and I
gave it to you, Sydney.

That's right. It's
in here somewhere.

Nope, I'll find it.

That's an ugly bag by the way.

I mean, it's company property,

-so let me go through it.
-No, it's not. It's mine.

My wife gave it to
me for anniversary.

It's not ugly.

Here it is.

Give me this.

Oh great. It's got a passcode.

Okay, who's good with
these goddamned things?

Let me see it.

Nope, nope.

Oh, there.

Here, I'm in. 10:31.

Cute. Look under his notes.

He kept them there

in order of scene numbers.

He was organized
if nothing else,

Here they are. Scene 138.

-Give it to me.
-No.

Boss.

Okay Julian, you have this,

but you better not fuck it up

or the bitch is in charge.

Two o'clock call, folks.

Bill, stop, I'm married

-and happy.
-But Ruthie. Don't--

Was-- What the hell?

Whoa. Wait a minute.

- You mother--
- I'm out here.

Shit. Shit.

RH, put that away!

That's it. I'm outta here!

Not a chance. He's
getting what he deserves.

No RH, It was nothing.

Well, it sure looked
like something.

It was nothing.

Bill just thinks we're back
shooting the original movie.

Well, he's gonna fade away
just like the original.

Calm down. Think for a minute.

Yeah, like the original,
shooting's too good for him.

-RH.
-This damn thing

doesn't work anyway.

Please! No! No!

And that's a wrap.

Thank God.

Are you a religious man, Henry?

Fuck you.

Come on. You can buy me a drink.

Don't expect me
to put out though.

Get the fuck outta
here with you. Come on.

Oh, watch it. Lock this door.

I don't need any asshole
jerking off in here. Understand?

It locks automatically.

No name tag, no admission.

Employee of the month,
huh? Okay, here we go.

Welcome back, folks.

It's the host with
the most, Zine,

editor and publisher of The
Gore Times, online edition,

and we are here at the
fabulous Oceanana Motel

in beautiful Atlantic
Beach, North Carolina.

We're fortunate to be attending
by special invitation only

at the wrap party/horror fest,

which you can see
going on behind me,

celebrating the end of
the filming of the remake

of our favorite slasher,
"The Mutilator".

That's right. I've talked about
"The Mutilator" many times

before. I first saw it when
I was in high school

and it has since become one

of my favorite eighties
independent horror slashers

of all time.

I was impressed that
the film had heart.

It was a love letter
to me personally.

And since its
release in the 1980s,

it has become a very
talked about cult classic.

Buddy Cooper who
directed the original,

also just a really awesome guy

who's there to help
young people in film

with questions theymight have

about writing,
directing, or producing.

He's got an old school style,

but that original
"Mutilator" flick

is still to this
day, a blueprint

for many other indie
horror slashers

that have tried to follow
in his bloody footsteps.

Another wonderful thing about
Buddy is he is always there

to shake a hand and answer
a question from a fan.

Now, of course, I'm talking
about the uncutversion

of the "Mutilator," not the
one the MPAA stepped on,

but he had a sure
shot hit on his hands

and the MPAA made him cut
out all the good bits.

Oh, sorry, it's a
sensitive subject for me.

Let's just try and
keep it positive, okay

and focus on the screen
values of those like

Ruth Martinez and Bill
Hitchcock, Jack Chatham,

the entire cast and crew,

the entire picture edit
team, sound edit team.

It's all of superb
quality, okay?

I mean like Michael
Minard's entire score

for the thing is incredible

as was the theme song,

which was made available
on 45 RPM singles.

A potent noir, if
I do say so myself.

A lot of great horror fans

out there would've
sold their unborn child

for a chance to see
a "Mutilator" remake

but I'm happy to say now
they can keep the baby.

Oh, I've been told
by a confidential

-yet reliable source that--
-No, not me.

That the remake is in the can.

So stay tuned. It'll be coming
soon to a theater near you.

"Mutilator 2" Look for it.

- Whoa, whoa.
- Wha-- Wha-- What?

Oh, shut up, you.

It's a list of all
acting crew members.

It includes their phone
number, motel room number,

home and email addresses.

Oh, it also includes
their character names

or crew position.

Name tag?

What's a gaffer?

Please, please, please, please.

Whoa. Is this the original
one from Mutilator One?

Yep, the very same one.

It's a little heavier for me.

-Let me see that.
-Whoa, no, no. Girls, please.

-That is it, isn't it?
-This is sharp.

This is sharp.

Wait, wait. Whoa,
whoa, whoa, girls.

-Take my picture.
-Wait, please, please!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

If this keeps somebody's
really gonna get hurt.

- Oops.
- Or worse.

Sorry, RH.

How about the ax?
You have my battle ax?

No, sadly, someone stole it.

I mean, how can
that happen? How?

I don't know.

We think that someone
from the original shoot

just made offwith it.

We had to get a different one.

Damn. Some people, huh?

I know, right?

Hey, hey, hey man.

How-- How's that leg?

This leg? It's great.

Stainless steel, carbon fiber,

spring loaded piston and
naturally formed ankle.

It's the best leg you can
buy with taxpayer dollars.

I'm sorry about that.

Everybody's here. Where's Liz?

I don't know. She's
here somewhere.

Look, let's just find
her, grab some IPAs

and have a little private party.

Oh, I see her right there.

Show us that bad
look, Mr. Chatham.

"Bad look"?

Hey, you!

Yeah, just call me
Big Ed, all right?

You're still
the best bad guy ever.

Yeah, I still got it, don't I?

Whoa. What
party are you going to?

Just thought I'd
take a nighttime dip.

You feel like having
a companion tag along?

No.

For safety, I mean.

I know. I think I'll be okay.

I almost made the
Olympic swim team.

Yeah, what was your stroke?

-Uh--
-It's all in the wrist, right?

Here we go.

Hey man.

Oh my God. I'm all tipsy.

Listen guys, how can
you tell if a period--

How are you supposed to tell
if a period's in italics?

If you ever had a wet
dream and not remember it?

Like what even are
italics anyhow?

Come on. We wanna
have a private party.

-Yeah.
-Come with us.

No thanks, I'll stay.

I've got my eye on something.

Something?

-Hey.
-Hush.

-Nice talking with you.
-See you.

Two is a crowd.

- What's up, man?
- What's up, dude?

Hit?

Oops, I forgot.

Hey there, Marilyn.

Would you like to be on
my show, The Gore Times?

I have a YouTube channel.
You've probably heard of it.

Oh, I'm a friend of Henry's.

Come on, Henry.

So how'd you do that
thing at the end

where they cut you in half?

Well, there's nothing to it.

They just glued me
back together.

And when was the last time
you saw the director alive?

I dunno. On the set

when he blew a circuit.

Yeah, he was very
much alive then.

Did you get along with him?

Well, I didn't have to
deal with him directly,

which was good for me

because that guy could be
a real pain in the ass.

Yeah, sure. Who
didyou deal with?

Uh, the DP.

Okay.

What's a DP?

Director of photography.

Am I a suspect?

Everybody's a suspect.

Uh-- Would you keep
information confidential

like when someone
tells you shit?

I work with confidential
informants all the time

and I protect their identity.

What do you got?

You can't use my name.

You can't say
where it came from.

Well, if we have to go to
court you may have to testify.

Ah, okay. Never mind.

Well, if you
withholdinformation,

thereby hindering a formal
police investigation,

you're committing a
crime, a felony in fact,

if you wanna go to jail.

Yeah, but man, it's nothing.

You're asking for trouble.

Look, it's just my opinion, man.

It's nothing like real evidence.

Spill it.

You know who really hated Jon?

Henry, the producer.

They were constantly
fighting, okay?

He told Jon that he'd
never worked for him again.

Henry. Okay.

I want to talk to
Henry. Where is he?

Trench coat.

Okay.

All right, we are here
now with the one and only

Buddy Cooper, director
of Mutilators One.

Oh Buddy, you are accredited
as executive producer

on this film.

Tell us what exactly
is it that you do

as an executive producer.

Nothing.

As executive producer
on this picture,

I do absolutely nothing.

It's great.

Um. Okay, well,
tell us, Buddy, um,

is there any particular thing
from the original "Mutilator"

that you like better
than in the remake?

Oh yeah.

On the original "Mutilator,"

the director did not get
murdered, I like that.

Toke.

No, thanks.

Hey, excuse me

Buddy Cooper, everybody.

Well, if it moves or
bleeds, wiggles or winks,

walks or talks, then
it's special effects

but if it doesn't do anything,

if it just lies there,
then it's props.

You get it?

Yeah, I get it. I'm
married to a prop.

You think the white bits in
oranges are good for you?

I don't think
they're good for you.

The white bits?

Oranges.

Do you like this line of work?

It's what some people
do that don't drink.

Maybe that's why I drink.

They gave me those
tests in high school.

The test that tell you what
you're best suited for.

Mine all kept coming
up "forest ranger".

Really?

Mm-hm. All these years I've
wondered, day and night,

what's so great about
being a forest ranger?

There's nobody there.

Weirdo.

It's been a long time
since the movie was made,

but you are still a
very good looking man.

Well, thank you very
much. You look good too.

I'm flattered.

Are you married?

No, I'm not married.
I'm available.

Well?

Well?

Would you like to come up
to my room for a night cap?

Not right now.

It might be a little obvious
if we both leave the party

at the same time,
don't you think?

What if I give you a call later?

I'll be counting on it.

I'll be calling you...
definitely.

Frozen 3 Musketeers bar
dipped in melted butter.

Nah, Breyers vanilla ice
cream with maple syrup.

Mm, You win.

You can relax. Henry's
not here anymore.

Hey, has that guy talked
to you yet, the cop?

Hmm.

That guy's name is
Columbo. You believe that?

Yeah, I told him
Henry's a nobody.

Just somebody's messenger boy.

No real power, just
a real asshole.

Damn. I told him that
Henry probably killed Jon.

-No, you didn't.
-Yes I did.

-I love it.
-Shoot it.

Whoop.

Cheers.

Goddamn, that's sweet.

Am I handsome yet or what?

-I think I need another one.
-I'll be right back.

Hey Ed, how about
running my death scene

from the first
"Mutilator" movie for me?

You know the realone, the
way it's supposed to be done.

Again? Why don't
you just get a copy?

Um. No money?

Why don't you just
ask Buddy for one

and then you can watch
it anytime you want?

Ed, I promise you, this
will be the very last time

that I ask you.

All right, gimme a few
minutes and then come around.

Mr. Jack Chatham,
Big Ed himself.

Oh my goodness, I'm so nervous.

Please don't kill
me. Just kidding.

But speaking of which,

why do you think that Big
Ed killed all those people

in the original "Mutilator"
when he was only after his son?

It doesn't seem to make much
sense if you think about it.

That's a good question.

Are we on TV? Is
that what that is?

Right there.

That's nice. That's nice.

See, when I put myself
into the Big Ed character,

I found that I
really became Big Ed

and it felt like once I
started killing people,

I discovered that
I really liked it.

You could say I was hooked.

So I just wanted
to keep on killing,

and killing... and killing.

Killing all those people was
the most fun I've ever had.

Hey Ed, are you ready?

I've come to see it and I've
also brought you a souvenir.

All right, hot shot.
This is the last time.

I got plenty of other
things to do than deal

with egocentric assholes.

Yeah, I saw you
talking to her earlier

but I have come to watch my
most breathtaking performance.

I should have been nominated.

Okay, right.

It's all queued up. Have a seat.

You gonna watch it with me?

Ooh, do you have any popcorn?

Nah, I'm gonna head
back to the party.

Pull the door shut. It
locks automatically.

See you on the red
carpet, hot shot.

Hey, what's up?

All right, here we go.
Walking in the dark.

And what do you find first?

There you go, the pyramid sinker

and what do you find second?

Come on.

Well, no wonder. Woo-hoo.

Falling asleep, huh?

Hee-hee-hee.

Oh yeah, go ahead.

Batter batter batter
batter batter batter.

Swing, batter!

Boom. Now he's awake.

Right.

And the great singing debut.

Something like that.

Ta-dum!

Not yet, huh?

Look, I gotta lock up

'cause I got something
to see upstairs.

Oh, Ed, you're just in
time for the big finish.

Yeah, brilliant idea
number three or four.

Well, I'm really gonna
hate to do this one.

All right, and make sure
you're okay for the night.

Do it. Do it. Do it!

Even I couldn't
do that.

Oh my, no!

So you like the way
your lips turned out?

Hey, you work on the
picture, don't you?

Uh. Yes, I do.

Oh, can I get a few
words for the fans?

I would love to say hello
to the fans of the movie,

but I am on my way
somewhere right now.

Maybe later.

I'll keep an eye out for you.

Okay. See you.

Bye.

Keep an eye out for you? Idiot.

You're Gore Times.

Oh! Alive and
in the flesh.

I'm a big fan.

Really?

Your YouTube link is on
my bookmarks toolbar.

Really?

Yes, I love that you use
background and philosophy.

Awesome.

Yes, like use what
you've learned

and not what they've taught you.

I can't believe
you remember that.

And never let pride get
in the way of happiness.

You are awesome!

I remember almost
everything you say.

Can I like buy you a
drink or something?

- I don't drink.
- Water?

Sure.

Perfect. I also drink water.

We have so much in common.

Just so you know, I'll
be closing up soon, ma'am.

How will I get off?

That button right there
will open the gate

from the inside but, uh,

just watch your step.

We'll be turning the lights
off in a few minutes.

Okay, I will.
Goodnight. Thanks.

Night.

That feels good.

You smell good.

I'm glad you like it.

I put it on just for you.

I have a
little surprise for you.

I like surprises.

Something nice for you,

a little on the neck?

Oh, goodie.

Let me put it
on for you. Don't move.

Please do.

Close your eyes.

You want a hummer?

Because you have a
really nice...

kazoo.

Hmm.

Well...

fuck yeah!

Follow me, maestro. There's
too many people here.

Let's make it two fewer.

Oh, hey, no, you...

You didn't bring
your glue right?

Maybe.

Seriously though,
you didn't, right?

Yeah, you're not gonna put
that off on me, are you?

Yeah. I
mean, no, not yet.

You don't think we're
serious about that, do you?

Come on. No.

You might loosen them
up if you hit that.

No, it's okay.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

Here you go.

It's not too bad.

You gonna be alright?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Um, do you know, why, uh...

uh why there are Pop-Tarts,
but not Mom-Tarts?

Not exactly.

'Cause of the pastriarchy.

It's the stupidest damn
joke I've ever heard.

How about right here?

Yeah, I like it.

Here, my lady.

Squeeze a cheek though.
Let me on this bad boy.

There's plenty of space.

Woo!

You ever seen it
this hippy out here?

Oh, look at the stars.

I don't see any stars.

You're good at that like
you've done it before.

I've thought about it.

Yes.

I'm from Boston.

I can't be rented,
but I can be bought.

Uh, you are turning me into
a buying sort of guy.

I like that.

Uh, I like you.

Do you think the seeds in
watermelon have much protein?

Wait a minute.

Do you got...

I know you have one.

I always have a...

It comes with the job,

and I am a professional.

Gimme your name tag.

Goodbye as a man.

Sativa or indica?

Sativa.

Berry or mango?

Both.

Can we?

Okay.

The other party
wasn't this good.

Get the angles, baby.

-About showtime.
-Oh, shit.

Gluten free.

You gotta send that to me.

-Beautiful.
-Oh, you.

No freaking way.

Oh my god.

No way.

Oh shit.

What you doing?

Oh, nothing.

Come on now. What are you doing?

What are you taking
pictures of? Let me see.

It's nothing really.

I'm just looking around.

You know what, what
are you drinking?

Bloody Mary. What
are you smoking?

Um. Nothing. You?

Blueberry Elephant.

BE? Give me a hit.

Easy man, that shit
will trample your ass.

That's good.

Now, you guys.

-Here we go.
-All right.

And, okay.

Show me what you got.

No problem.

All right.
Show me what you got.

-All right, girls.
-Don't post this on IG.

- Little more.
- You want more?

- No, little more.
- Always thinking about--

You want more like that?

Hike it up.

I'm hiking up.

Help!

No.

Hey, wait!

Oh shit!

Help.

We need to help her.

Back up, back up.

Pull her up.

No. No, don't pull!

No!

Come on come on.

Oh my god.

Somebody help!

Help.

Help-- Help me.

Let me look at the camera.

Oh? Oh, okay.

But I really didn't
see anything.

How-- How do I do this?

You just look through there.

It's called a viewfinder.

I don't see anything.
It's all black.

-Oh?
-My favorite color.

My bad. I'm sorry.

Alright, now look. Um...

I didn't see anything really,

but what do you see?

Nothing really, just the
end of the fishing pier.

See, I told you.

Here, you know what? Let me see.

-Huh?
-What?

Um?

Nothing, nothing.

So you think you're
a fan of "Mutilator?"

Check this out.

Oh my gosh.

Lemme get a shot
of that. Hold on.

Here with us now is

another exceptional fan
of an exceptional movie,

Rick Fletcher.

Show us that tattoo, Rick.

Look at that. That is fandom.

That is dedication.

That... is permanent.

Help me! No, no, no!

What are you gonna do now?

Stop! Stop, stop, stop.

This might... hurt.

Brains. I want brains.

Help! Help! Help!

Okay, everybody out.

Everybody.

Let's go.

I'm coming to you live now

from the wonderful
Oceanana Motel

in beautiful Atlanta
Beach, North Carolina

with some breaking news,
a Gore Times exclusive.

Actor, Bill Hitchcock has
just apparently been murdered.

Mr. Hitchcock's deceased body
was found in the same manner

with the same implement of
death that was used to kill

Mr. Hitchcock's character

in the 1980s cult classic
film, "the Mutilator,"

the remake of which
was being made here.

We are all just wondering

who could have done
this terrible deed.

It wasn't me. I liked Bill.

Of course, it wasn't me.

Get that camera outta my...

-It wasn't us.
-It wasn't us.

Jinx. This is The Gore
Times signing off for now.

No.

It wasn't me.

It was Big Ed.

I'm telling you it wasn't me.

Okay.

It was Big Ed.

I'm sure it was. Let's go.

Okay.